24-7sick - Tumblr blog

[24-7sick]

I'm kinda miserable but I kinda like it

anyways I fasted for 44 hours which isn't a lot for some people on here but I'm suprised I was able to get away with it- I honestly could've kept going but I had practice and needed a protein bar so i wouldnt pass out 😭

[24-7sick]

hey i saw that you are 15 :) I am 16 and could need a buddy haha

that post is old ahaha I'm actually 16 too, also could probably use a buddy 😭

[24-7sick]

when ur therapist asks u, in front of ur mom, "HOWS THE EATING THING GOING?" GIRL SHUT UP. I haven't even told her abt the relapse either 😭

somehow managed to survive that tho, currently at what's about to be my longest fast (reaching 40 hours)

[24-7sick]

guys I'm back and i gained so much weight back help I'm actually going to kill myself

[24-7sick]

The Hike

Every day I hike a trail

That is far too advanced

People tell me that they're worried

But I say that I'll turn back

Hiking along this trail is scary

But I tell myself it's fine

Because I'll trace my steps back home

Before the trail breaks into vines

And I would have been content

Only trekking the easy mile

Until I started to count my steps

The smaller numbers were less worthwhile

Now I find myself

No longer on the simple trail

I watch my steps count higher

Terrified of when I'll fail

The path is steep and rocky

It's difficult to follow

At times I get lost in the greenery

To the extra steps it added scenery

I know that this is dangerous

Hiking the trail without a plan

But I can't contain from counting steps

And I won't stop until the end

[24-7sick]

getting snacks while out with people is so funny to me- I'll pick out some stuff and they see it as just some snacks- but I see it as multiple days worth of food. kinda crazy

[24-7sick]

bcuz of the timeline of my ed and relapse I ended up telling my friends abt it and that kinda took away the feeling of secrecy for me. I think I overcompensate with hiding when I count calories and running this tumblr.

[24-7sick]

when u realize the reason u trigger urself is probably bcuz u want to be in control- even of ur triggers

[24-7sick]

I want a fellow disordered buddy(preferably restrictive so we can relate better). I just want someone who understands me 😭

[24-7sick]

when ur mom who's sussin ur ed offers food so u have to take it so she won't think u have an ed 🥲

[24-7sick]

having an ed and having belts are like best friends. cuz every time I have to add a hole to my belt I get so happy

[24-7sick]

last night I was with a friend who knows I have an ed- and I panicked when ordering soda and didn't order diet. I was so freaked out by the soda the whole time that I didn't even have a single sip even tho I was dying of thirst. wtf is wrong with me?

[24-7sick]

I just weighed myself again and I've lost 4 pounds in 2 weeks!

it's kinda fun weighing myself bcuz it feels like mission impossible- I have to wait until certain days at certain times and I have to be quick and quiet. it's so exhilarating.

[24-7sick]

current mood: I wish I was someone who could eat 3 meals a day without even thinking about it. I wish eating was easy.

[24-7sick]

the idea of calories = energy almost starts to click in my head- and then professional dietitians say u need a deficit to lose weight and then my brain goes calories = weight

[24-7sick]

today while at the grocery store after-school with my friends one of them said she didn't want to get anything for fear it would mess up her food schedule and a different friend brought up how obsessing over food would lead to an ed- and i just sat there knowing that they would never suspect me cuz the only time I eat is when I'm with them

[24-7sick]

I feel bad for lying bcuz of my disorder