a-confusedwriter

[a-confusedwriter]

I want to hold onto you for as long as I can. For as long as the universe and whoever is out there allows.

lm // W

[a-confusedwriter]

Just dropping by to say hi! I have been busy with summer school which is why I have not been posting so much lately.

But I will be posting again real soon! I hope life is treating all of you well! :)

Love, lm

[a-confusedwriter]

Dear self, If you ever find love, let it stay. Let it color your world once again. You have been deprived of affection for a long time that it is time to experience it. You deserve to be happy like everyone else in the world.

lm // a reminder

[a-confusedwriter]

He whispered under his breath "I will keep faith to whatever or whoever is out there that you will never forget about me.

lm // plea

[a-confusedwriter]

I have so much love for you that flowers bloom when I speak of your name.

lm // field of flowers

[a-confusedwriter]

I am slowly forgetting what your voice sounds like and I am in tears.

[a-confusedwriter]

Dear God, I was terribly lost. When the galaxies crossed. And the sun went dark. But dear God, You're the only North Star I would follow this far.

[a-confusedwriter]

Why are you afraid of accepting love?" they asked. "Because I am afraid of the hurt that may come after.

lm // lines from a book i will never write

[a-confusedwriter]

Please do not forget about me. I beg of you. My heart loves you way too much.

lm // the last plea 

[a-confusedwriter]

I am home.

[a-confusedwriter]

psa: i will be mia for the next couple of weeks because of finals. i’ll be back soon! wish me luck!

[a-confusedwriter]

They say to follow the north star when you are lost. So I will. Hoping it will lead me back home. Back to you.

lm // homesick

[a-confusedwriter]

update: ill be creating a mini project and it will be a photo journal of some sort. i’m not sure how it’ll turn out but it’s about the experience right? :)

[a-confusedwriter]

We tend to seek answers for questions that we cannot fathom. We almost always end up associating what we feel to things or events which often leads us to be blinded by the made-up scenarios we have created in order to ease ourselves from uncertainties. The sad thing about it is some people become withdrawn from reality and start believing that their life now is not the life they are supposed to be living. They believe they should be in a parallel universe; a place where everything is okay and their heart is no longer in pain. However, sometimes the place where we find peace is not an actual place, per se. It is sometimes two arms hold you when you are at your weakest. It is sometimes eyes which keep your heart and soul at bay. It is sometimes a person. But whatever or whomever you feel and find tranquility, I hope it will last because this world has been far too cruel.

a-confusedwriter (via shareaquote)

[a-confusedwriter]

10/22/17: In all honesty, I think I will never forget you and I will always be in pain because of it. No matter how hard I try to bury all the memories in the deepest, darkest part of my brain, they still manage to resurface here and there. I could be just walking around and I would remember about all the useless but priceless discussions we used to have while we are strolling around aimlessly. I could be just sitting down with a book and I would see a glimpse of you, or so I would thought. Turns out, it would be just a random stranger who did not yet have the luxury of meeting you. I could be listening to my favorite songs and I swear I could hear your voice singing along in the background. As quickly as the smile that appears in my face would be the same time it would take for it to disappear because I am slowly forgetting what your smile looked like. I am slowly forgetting the sound of your gentle voice. I am slowly forgetting your boisterous laughter. There are days where I would be in the comfort of my room in complete darkness and I would close my eyes; I would then try to remember how you looked like under the brilliant sunglight. How your beautiful brown and kind eyes would reflect a fragment of the light and how your jet black hair shines. I would then try to remember how the light touch of your fingertips never ceased to sent vibrations to my soul. I would then try to remember that we were once happy and content. In all honesty, I think I will never forget you. But I am glad that your beautiful soul has stopped by in my life.

[a-confusedwriter]

I hope you are happy. I hope what you are doing right now is what you have always wanted to do in your life. I hope you finally found solace which you have always longed for. You went through enough hardship and suffering that you deserve endless beautiful days and people who will cherish you for your whole being; people who will love the parts of yourself that you show and kept hidden behind endless facades. I hope when you wake up every morning, you only feel the radiating warmth of sunlight peering through your window and not the pain from your past. And I hope whenever you feel worthless, I hope you remember that you are a poetry in motion. Remember you are made from the same materials as the stars. So shine, unapologetically.

a-confusedwriter

[a-confusedwriter]

I wonder what I am like when I am happy? Do my eyes shine like they never cried rivers of tears? Does my laugh resonate and fill the room with glee when the only sound I thought that came out of my mouth was the sigh of exhaustion and my hatred of life? Do I finally smile in pure ecstasy and not just as a facade to hide how broken I am? And during those moments, am I finally capable of loving me? I may not be sure nor know the answer to all of these questions but one thing comes to mind: I know I am completely happy when I am with you.

lm // im happiest with you