a-green-wolf
a-green-wolf
ZenithWolf
87 posts
A system trying to separate while making art in the process
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a-green-wolf · 15 hours ago
Text
Safety Addition:
We wanted to share this in case anyone is considering trying similar practices. Please understand that this system is still new to us, and we don’t yet fully understand all the underlying mechanisms. Conditioning and habit design can be powerful tools — but like any powerful tool, they can have unintended consequences if not used mindfully.
We’ve collectively decided to take that risk, and we’re mitigating it by carefully documenting our progress. That includes logging all anchors, triggers, and intentional habits in detail. If you choose to experiment with these kinds of practices, we strongly recommend doing the same.
How we went from blending constantly to fullish separation
This write up is the detailed version of the Mindforce Collective’s documentation of how they restructured their plurality to be less host centric and more rebalanced between all members. This process doesn’t have a hard start date, as the process evolved drastically starting from around 9/2023. We’ll describe what our basic day looked like before and after. This guide takes elements from self-hypnosis, meditation, reality shifting, and intense visualization, and combines it into one.
First and foremost, about ourselves. My name is Zenith, I’m the former host of the system. My plurality began almost 9 years ago with just tulpae, but has since evolved by adding walk ins, servitors that became full headmates, and former imaginary friends. Our headcount is at 11. The body is a male and 25 years old, and is diagnosed with ADHD and autism, as well as depression that’s lasted since 2016. I stopped identifying as the body around 2020, and realized I was trans in 2024. 
We wanted to shift our lifestyle for a variety of reasons, like:
Depression killing me slowly but surely
Headmates wanting to build hobbies and make friends in the external world
Myself wanting to leave front to experience the mindscape fully, and have a break from dealing with external reality
Unwanted blending
The lifestyle we had went as follows. A typical day involved myself waking up in front, and headmates becoming active shortly after awakening. My lover Scout slept with me, and everyone else slept in the mindscape. I’d take care of pretty much everything that came up in day to day life while my headmates watched while immersed in the mindscape. My access to the mindscape was fleeting; I was able to see out of the eyes of any headmate inside, and our communication was very good. In fact, too good, and we blend sometimes because we can’t tell whose thoughts and emotions were whose. This didn’t happen too much at first, but after our system doubled in size during Spring 2024 it became really bad. It was getting to the point where we’re going to start having identity crises if things didn’t change. I was the main decision maker for everything, as well as the only one who worked. Consequently, I was the main recipient of our depression. Other headmates showed signs of it, but generally I received the most of it. Another factor that made it worse was that some headmates weren’t fully independent, requiring me to focus on them to give them enough energy to function. Depression, dependency, and blending brought us to the decision to more fully separate, but we didn’t know what to do. We started off by purchasing a smart watch to practice independence. We came up with a game to play that would boost independence between us. The game went like this:
Pick a headmate
Start a tally at 0
Start a 5 minute timer on your watch 
While ticking down, your goal is to make sure the headmate is active while you’re focused on something else.
After the timer goes off, check in with the headmate and ask them if they felt grounded and separated. If so, add a tally to the count.
Repeat the process, aiming to get as high a score as possible
We would do this over and over continuously during working hours. Modifications to the game kept it fun and challenged the abilities. We would modify the game by:
Giving ourselves a score multiplier if the environment around us was more hectic and distracting, or if a streak is started. For example, we worked as a pizza delivery driver. If I’m walking down the street to deliver a pizza, I’d have a basic score of 1 point per 5 minutes. However, if we’re at the store and it’s incredibly busy, we’d give a multiplier somewhere between 2 and 5 depending on how distracting the environment is. As for streaks, we’d increase the multiplier if we did enough trials without failing.
Give out bonus points for choke points. A choke point is a point where failure is most common. For us, myself entering a conversation with another external person caused some of us to focus intently on the person, bringing about blending because we stopped maintaining separation. If we stayed separate during a choke point, we’d add to the tally. 
Decreasing timer duration. After 5 minutes became easy, we’d lower the time by a minute and start the process again.
After a few months of doing this, we were a lot more independent and had much more energy amongst ourselves. This process is also the culprit around some servitors transitioning to full headmates. As they saw everyone else becoming much happier and content, I guess enough of that energy spilled over to them, and they wanted to be more than a tool. We welcomed them with open arms, but since our headspace became even more complicated we had to make more changes. We were also beginning to switch more frequently, with Scout taking shifts and introducing himself for the first time to our coworkers. It was the second time we’d ever mentioned plurality, and they accepted us! It was pretty exciting. We had switched more often earlier in life, but as we had started a new job we wanted to keep things as stable as possible. We have little experience with switching, so it was tough as hell. I kept jumping back to front, unable to separate myself from the body for very long. This worsened blending, but we pursued the goal. I would switch out for an average of 4.5 hours, totaling 120 hours over the course of 3 months. I was unable to keep myself out of the body for the majority of time, but it got easier. Fast forward to Fall 2024, we’ve left pizza delivery to work at our old university. Because people remembered ME at the time, and because I was generally a pretty decent worker, we decided to out ourselves as plural to certain managers and coworkers we felt safe with. We were even more excited at the fact that we had a plural coworker! They recognized our plural enamel pin and introduced themselves. We also introduced, and that gave us lots of motivation to continue switching. We had started wearing colored wristbands as a subtle way to communicate who’s fronting, so that made it easier as well to ease into being ourselves publicly. Before the semester started, we had a goal to continue separation practices. Our basic desires for our new lifestyle was:
Everyone needed to switch in at least once per month or so. Not for very long, just to have experience.
Headmates who wanted to regularly front would be put onto a list, and every time we decided to switch a random name would be chosen. They’d switch in for a few hours (eventually working up to a day or two), then I would take back control. Blending was still a big issue. The goal was eventually to have Zenith stay out of front for up to days at a time. Headmates can trade shifts.
We wanted our memories to stay the same, but maybe make it different to recall memories that you didn't record. Maybe a vibe of “this isn’t mine” tagged to it. That would be enough to stave off stresses surrounding this. We started a memory palace that we would contribute to regularly to ensure a smooth transition.
Use SimplyPlural for logging fronting times
Have the ability to choose when you’re completely shut off from external reality. Sometimes we just want to be alone and completely isolated from others, but we didn’t want to make it something problematic to executive functioning.
We wanted to get into hobbies we enjoyed that would also encourage us to separate more. We chose to start meditating regularly to help with this, as meditation would make it easier to analyze thought patterns and adjust our behaviors. We started out with 5 minutes a day. Some of us got hyperfixated on meditation, and eventually we turned 5 minutes into a maximum of 3 hours a day. In addition, we started reading more on the subject and adjusting our life to make room for more. Over the course of August ‘24 to May ‘25 we:
Meditated seriously, doing different types of meditation like walking meditation, kasina meditation; practiced mindfulness during the day like Vipassana-Samatha
Some stretches of intense mindfulness had us keeping track of things during work like breathing, footsteps, thought patterns, and so on. We would try to keep the mind quiet while we focused, labelling thoughts to keep from mind wandering. This skill became pretty useful later on during anchoring.
Started training thought separation and thought concealment, a process that helps with privacy among sysmembers. I talk more about it here.
Started training imposition as a tool to increase quality of life. We wanted to use it to
Let go of front / immerse  much easier
Use symbolism to create anchors
See each other
Help with our art prospects
Discussed more here
Tried to learn lucid dreaming
Started weightlifting to gain muscle mass and learn self defense, as well as help catalyze change
Started brain training to help our goals
Started n back to hopefully increase our mental energy, plus it helped with visualization 
Started learning chess to aid our pattern recognition in addition to unseen benefits
Started taking supplements relating to change like Lion’s Mane. We minidosed on psilocybin every few days.
Began autogogia training
Began reading books more often. We have the ability to listen to audiobooks while we work due to our smart glasses, so we absolutely took advantage and put many books into us. If anyone wants to read some good books relating to this:
The Mind Illuminated
The Power of Habit
Atomic Habits
Exploring the World of Lucid Dreaming
Hallucinations
Dissociation Made Simple
Figure out ways to cure my depression before it was too late
We called all of these hobbies and activities the Web of Skills, as it was designed to build certain skills that reinforced each other when one was worked on. It was also designed to boost neuroplasticity and neurogenesis. Nutrition relates to everything, as does sleep and meditation. Imposition directly benefitted our art and immersion goals. So we worked on refining our process and sharpening our skills until summer came. Since we worked at a university dining hall, and because we were overworked, we had the option to take off from late May to mid August. We absolutely took that opportunity; having absolutely no obligations for 12 weeks straight would give us so much time to practice our abilities and plan for fall. Over the summer, we came up with Intentions, Anchors, Conditioned Responses, etc. We also had a bit of a crisis as we figured out a reason why we act the way we do, and why that’s aiding depression. 
Intentions are things we set that HAVE to be taken seriously and must be completed promptly. It’s basically a way to force yourself to break procrastination. An example would be “Intention: clean room before leaving”. You’re now bound to clean up before leaving. It takes a lot of discipline to follow through, but if you do you can create something wonderful: a Conditioned Response. These use intentions and the habit making process to give you a clear and distinct response to a stimulus. Say you want to feel confident, but don’t have a way to do so. Every time you feel very confident, you could think of a symbol associated with it, and whenever you think of the symbol you get a wave of confidence. It’s part of how triggered switches function. We’ve used this concept to:
Induce phantom limbs
Start dissociation
Design and build habits 
Enter certain brain states quickly
Learn lucid dreaming
Get motivated about a task fast
It’s talked about more here and here
I also wanted to build habits centered around immersion. Since I was the only externally active member in the system, also because of ADHD, I had lots of conflicting mental habits built to keep me stuck in the body. Here’s only a handful of them:
Focus on anything new in the visual space
As soon as a new thought emerges from ANY source, forget whatever you’re doing and pay full attention to it. Also assume the thought is yours
Listen to music loudly
Don’t daydream for too long at once
These habits and others made it hard as hell for me to drop awareness of the body, so we came up with habits designed to reinforce separation and immersion. These habits activated while I was switched out:
Feel texture of whatever you’re walking on
Feel YOUR body and not the physical body
This step is really the combination of experiencing all the senses in your body as well as other niche ones like proprioceptive senses. 
When pondering something, do not slip back into the physical body.
Other habits not listed here
Training some of these habits is easier than I thought it would be. The mindscape, at the end of the day, is just a complex visualization skill. I just needed to learn to stay in that state rather than slip back. Since visualization can be easily trained by us, I would just exercise certain areas that are lacking while I was in control. For example, in order to feel the ground beneath me, I would imagine myself barefoot while doing everyday life for a while, then when I switch out that area of visualization is now easier because we’ve put effort into that specific skill, freeing up brainpower to sharpen other areas. It’s also easy because you can set a reward if you succeed at a mental task, such as “If I stay focused on my body and don’t slip for the next 10 minutes, I’ll eat out today”. The more enticing the reward, the better the motivation. We want to learn to make lucid dreaming a habit, so a highly motivating reward could be “If we have an average of 3 lucid dreams a week until the semester ends, I’ll reward myself by buying a 5090. I guarantee you’ll focus on the goal a lot more if you have a very enticing reward.
Other ways to motivate yourself to do something include: 
Make it a game
Challenge yourself
Frame it as sharpening your skills
So far, the results of our work:
Thoughts are now tagged so their owner is obvious, if someone wants a private thought they’re able to keep it private. Headspace is overall quieter.
I’m now able to leave front for increasingly longer periods of time. Mindscape is becoming more and more immersive and vivid. Still working on slip ups.
Stable attention using anchors
Our plan for the fall semester is to keep sharpening our skills in all of this, with the main goals being to learn to make lucid dreaming a habit since it’s such a powerful skill and to decrease my time in front drastically. We plan to use lucid dreaming as not only a leisure tool, but a way to practice our goals, since (depending on the skill) practicing a skill in a lucid dream is the same as in real life. That would supercharge our learning process. Now that I have much better anchors keeping me in the mindscape, I’m going to start switching out for longer and longer stretches, adding 1% of switched out time a day until we go from 2 hours to 72 hours. Everyone’s contributing to this by switching in periodically. So far, that’s our process for shifting our lifestyle. Maybe I’ll update in a few months. Thanks for reading!
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a-green-wolf · 3 days ago
Text
How we went from blending constantly to fullish separation
This write up is the detailed version of the Mindforce Collective’s documentation of how they restructured their plurality to be less host centric and more rebalanced between all members. This process doesn’t have a hard start date, as the process evolved drastically starting from around 9/2023. We’ll describe what our basic day looked like before and after. This guide takes elements from self-hypnosis, meditation, reality shifting, and intense visualization, and combines it into one.
First and foremost, about ourselves. My name is Zenith, I’m the former host of the system. My plurality began almost 9 years ago with just tulpae, but has since evolved by adding walk ins, servitors that became full headmates, and former imaginary friends. Our headcount is at 11. The body is a male and 25 years old, and is diagnosed with ADHD and autism, as well as depression that’s lasted since 2016. I stopped identifying as the body around 2020, and realized I was trans in 2024. 
We wanted to shift our lifestyle for a variety of reasons, like:
Depression killing me slowly but surely
Headmates wanting to build hobbies and make friends in the external world
Myself wanting to leave front to experience the mindscape fully, and have a break from dealing with external reality
Unwanted blending
The lifestyle we had went as follows. A typical day involved myself waking up in front, and headmates becoming active shortly after awakening. My lover Scout slept with me, and everyone else slept in the mindscape. I’d take care of pretty much everything that came up in day to day life while my headmates watched while immersed in the mindscape. My access to the mindscape was fleeting; I was able to see out of the eyes of any headmate inside, and our communication was very good. In fact, too good, and we blend sometimes because we can’t tell whose thoughts and emotions were whose. This didn’t happen too much at first, but after our system doubled in size during Spring 2024 it became really bad. It was getting to the point where we’re going to start having identity crises if things didn’t change. I was the main decision maker for everything, as well as the only one who worked. Consequently, I was the main recipient of our depression. Other headmates showed signs of it, but generally I received the most of it. Another factor that made it worse was that some headmates weren’t fully independent, requiring me to focus on them to give them enough energy to function. Depression, dependency, and blending brought us to the decision to more fully separate, but we didn’t know what to do. We started off by purchasing a smart watch to practice independence. We came up with a game to play that would boost independence between us. The game went like this:
Pick a headmate
Start a tally at 0
Start a 5 minute timer on your watch 
While ticking down, your goal is to make sure the headmate is active while you’re focused on something else.
After the timer goes off, check in with the headmate and ask them if they felt grounded and separated. If so, add a tally to the count.
Repeat the process, aiming to get as high a score as possible
We would do this over and over continuously during working hours. Modifications to the game kept it fun and challenged the abilities. We would modify the game by:
Giving ourselves a score multiplier if the environment around us was more hectic and distracting, or if a streak is started. For example, we worked as a pizza delivery driver. If I’m walking down the street to deliver a pizza, I’d have a basic score of 1 point per 5 minutes. However, if we’re at the store and it’s incredibly busy, we’d give a multiplier somewhere between 2 and 5 depending on how distracting the environment is. As for streaks, we’d increase the multiplier if we did enough trials without failing.
Give out bonus points for choke points. A choke point is a point where failure is most common. For us, myself entering a conversation with another external person caused some of us to focus intently on the person, bringing about blending because we stopped maintaining separation. If we stayed separate during a choke point, we’d add to the tally. 
Decreasing timer duration. After 5 minutes became easy, we’d lower the time by a minute and start the process again.
After a few months of doing this, we were a lot more independent and had much more energy amongst ourselves. This process is also the culprit around some servitors transitioning to full headmates. As they saw everyone else becoming much happier and content, I guess enough of that energy spilled over to them, and they wanted to be more than a tool. We welcomed them with open arms, but since our headspace became even more complicated we had to make more changes. We were also beginning to switch more frequently, with Scout taking shifts and introducing himself for the first time to our coworkers. It was the second time we’d ever mentioned plurality, and they accepted us! It was pretty exciting. We had switched more often earlier in life, but as we had started a new job we wanted to keep things as stable as possible. We have little experience with switching, so it was tough as hell. I kept jumping back to front, unable to separate myself from the body for very long. This worsened blending, but we pursued the goal. I would switch out for an average of 4.5 hours, totaling 120 hours over the course of 3 months. I was unable to keep myself out of the body for the majority of time, but it got easier. Fast forward to Fall 2024, we’ve left pizza delivery to work at our old university. Because people remembered ME at the time, and because I was generally a pretty decent worker, we decided to out ourselves as plural to certain managers and coworkers we felt safe with. We were even more excited at the fact that we had a plural coworker! They recognized our plural enamel pin and introduced themselves. We also introduced, and that gave us lots of motivation to continue switching. We had started wearing colored wristbands as a subtle way to communicate who’s fronting, so that made it easier as well to ease into being ourselves publicly. Before the semester started, we had a goal to continue separation practices. Our basic desires for our new lifestyle was:
Everyone needed to switch in at least once per month or so. Not for very long, just to have experience.
Headmates who wanted to regularly front would be put onto a list, and every time we decided to switch a random name would be chosen. They’d switch in for a few hours (eventually working up to a day or two), then I would take back control. Blending was still a big issue. The goal was eventually to have Zenith stay out of front for up to days at a time. Headmates can trade shifts.
We wanted our memories to stay the same, but maybe make it different to recall memories that you didn't record. Maybe a vibe of “this isn’t mine” tagged to it. That would be enough to stave off stresses surrounding this. We started a memory palace that we would contribute to regularly to ensure a smooth transition.
Use SimplyPlural for logging fronting times
Have the ability to choose when you’re completely shut off from external reality. Sometimes we just want to be alone and completely isolated from others, but we didn’t want to make it something problematic to executive functioning.
We wanted to get into hobbies we enjoyed that would also encourage us to separate more. We chose to start meditating regularly to help with this, as meditation would make it easier to analyze thought patterns and adjust our behaviors. We started out with 5 minutes a day. Some of us got hyperfixated on meditation, and eventually we turned 5 minutes into a maximum of 3 hours a day. In addition, we started reading more on the subject and adjusting our life to make room for more. Over the course of August ‘24 to May ‘25 we:
Meditated seriously, doing different types of meditation like walking meditation, kasina meditation; practiced mindfulness during the day like Vipassana-Samatha
Some stretches of intense mindfulness had us keeping track of things during work like breathing, footsteps, thought patterns, and so on. We would try to keep the mind quiet while we focused, labelling thoughts to keep from mind wandering. This skill became pretty useful later on during anchoring.
Started training thought separation and thought concealment, a process that helps with privacy among sysmembers. I talk more about it here.
Started training imposition as a tool to increase quality of life. We wanted to use it to
Let go of front / immerse  much easier
Use symbolism to create anchors
See each other
Help with our art prospects
Discussed more here
Tried to learn lucid dreaming
Started weightlifting to gain muscle mass and learn self defense, as well as help catalyze change
Started brain training to help our goals
Started n back to hopefully increase our mental energy, plus it helped with visualization 
Started learning chess to aid our pattern recognition in addition to unseen benefits
Started taking supplements relating to change like Lion’s Mane. We minidosed on psilocybin every few days.
Began autogogia training
Began reading books more often. We have the ability to listen to audiobooks while we work due to our smart glasses, so we absolutely took advantage and put many books into us. If anyone wants to read some good books relating to this:
The Mind Illuminated
The Power of Habit
Atomic Habits
Exploring the World of Lucid Dreaming
Hallucinations
Dissociation Made Simple
Figure out ways to cure my depression before it was too late
We called all of these hobbies and activities the Web of Skills, as it was designed to build certain skills that reinforced each other when one was worked on. It was also designed to boost neuroplasticity and neurogenesis. Nutrition relates to everything, as does sleep and meditation. Imposition directly benefitted our art and immersion goals. So we worked on refining our process and sharpening our skills until summer came. Since we worked at a university dining hall, and because we were overworked, we had the option to take off from late May to mid August. We absolutely took that opportunity; having absolutely no obligations for 12 weeks straight would give us so much time to practice our abilities and plan for fall. Over the summer, we came up with Intentions, Anchors, Conditioned Responses, etc. We also had a bit of a crisis as we figured out a reason why we act the way we do, and why that’s aiding depression. 
Intentions are things we set that HAVE to be taken seriously and must be completed promptly. It’s basically a way to force yourself to break procrastination. An example would be “Intention: clean room before leaving”. You’re now bound to clean up before leaving. It takes a lot of discipline to follow through, but if you do you can create something wonderful: a Conditioned Response. These use intentions and the habit making process to give you a clear and distinct response to a stimulus. Say you want to feel confident, but don’t have a way to do so. Every time you feel very confident, you could think of a symbol associated with it, and whenever you think of the symbol you get a wave of confidence. It’s part of how triggered switches function. We’ve used this concept to:
Induce phantom limbs
Start dissociation
Design and build habits 
Enter certain brain states quickly
Learn lucid dreaming
Get motivated about a task fast
It’s talked about more here and here
I also wanted to build habits centered around immersion. Since I was the only externally active member in the system, also because of ADHD, I had lots of conflicting mental habits built to keep me stuck in the body. Here’s only a handful of them:
Focus on anything new in the visual space
As soon as a new thought emerges from ANY source, forget whatever you’re doing and pay full attention to it. Also assume the thought is yours
Listen to music loudly
Don’t daydream for too long at once
These habits and others made it hard as hell for me to drop awareness of the body, so we came up with habits designed to reinforce separation and immersion. These habits activated while I was switched out:
Feel texture of whatever you’re walking on
Feel YOUR body and not the physical body
This step is really the combination of experiencing all the senses in your body as well as other niche ones like proprioceptive senses. 
When pondering something, do not slip back into the physical body.
Other habits not listed here
Training some of these habits is easier than I thought it would be. The mindscape, at the end of the day, is just a complex visualization skill. I just needed to learn to stay in that state rather than slip back. Since visualization can be easily trained by us, I would just exercise certain areas that are lacking while I was in control. For example, in order to feel the ground beneath me, I would imagine myself barefoot while doing everyday life for a while, then when I switch out that area of visualization is now easier because we’ve put effort into that specific skill, freeing up brainpower to sharpen other areas. It’s also easy because you can set a reward if you succeed at a mental task, such as “If I stay focused on my body and don’t slip for the next 10 minutes, I’ll eat out today”. The more enticing the reward, the better the motivation. We want to learn to make lucid dreaming a habit, so a highly motivating reward could be “If we have an average of 3 lucid dreams a week until the semester ends, I’ll reward myself by buying a 5090. I guarantee you’ll focus on the goal a lot more if you have a very enticing reward.
Other ways to motivate yourself to do something include: 
Make it a game
Challenge yourself
Frame it as sharpening your skills
So far, the results of our work:
Thoughts are now tagged so their owner is obvious, if someone wants a private thought they’re able to keep it private. Headspace is overall quieter.
I’m now able to leave front for increasingly longer periods of time. Mindscape is becoming more and more immersive and vivid. Still working on slip ups.
Stable attention using anchors
Our plan for the fall semester is to keep sharpening our skills in all of this, with the main goals being to learn to make lucid dreaming a habit since it’s such a powerful skill and to decrease my time in front drastically. We plan to use lucid dreaming as not only a leisure tool, but a way to practice our goals, since (depending on the skill) practicing a skill in a lucid dream is the same as in real life. That would supercharge our learning process. Now that I have much better anchors keeping me in the mindscape, I’m going to start switching out for longer and longer stretches, adding 1% of switched out time a day until we go from 2 hours to 72 hours. Everyone’s contributing to this by switching in periodically. So far, that’s our process for shifting our lifestyle. Maybe I’ll update in a few months. Thanks for reading!
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a-green-wolf · 16 days ago
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After 7 years of a mixture of procrastination and self doubt, plus 10 years (and counting 😞)of depression, I've finally figured out dissociated full switching.
I, Zenith, with the help of my system, have gone from a frontstuck host to a member of the system that can actually leave front for increasingly longer periods of time. The true process once we started seriously pursuing it began April 2024. The journey isn't over, but it's getting very exciting. Having AuDHD definitely is a problem, but we overcame it. I'll either write up how we did it, do a video on it, or both. Wanna help this community.
I'm just happy I'm finally not frontstuck 🎉. I REALLY needed a break.
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a-green-wolf · 23 days ago
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First drawing pen display 🎉🎉🎉! Our grandmother gave it to us for my birthday!
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Time to level up our drawing skills.
Forgive the bad picture, my camera is not very good.
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a-green-wolf · 1 month ago
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You know what? I don't really have much empathy for people. I can pass by a homeless person on the side of the road struggling to scrape cans together and not give a shit what happens to them personally. However, I do feel anger, anger that there is such a blatant and glaring problem in society that is completely fixable, and no one is fixing it. It doesn't make sense to me. There's more than enough resources to give everyone a house and food. All it takes is money. Money that certain people most definitely have.
See, from my perspective, I don't like that there are homeless people on the street generating trash, standing around covered in filth, and generally making cities unpleasant to be in either. I'm also not stupid. While I might not care if they live or die, I can easily recognize that if we just gave them places to live and resources to use, then the streets would be easy to clean up and maintain. Then, everywhere you go could look clean, neat, modern, and stylish.
So if people have money to fix it, THEN JUST FIX IT! You don't want to see these people, these people don't even want to be there, so why not? You don't even need to care about anyone to figure this out. It doesn't make any fucking sense and THAT'S why I get so pissed off.
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a-green-wolf · 1 month ago
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i love you if you get front stuck often. i love you if you can't front alone. i love you if you don't like to front alone. i love you if you hate fronting. i love you if you front whenever you can. i love you if you can't front even when you want to.
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a-green-wolf · 1 month ago
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How we handle Thought Concealment and Separation
So, in order to have more privacy between us, and to reduce confusion on who's speaking in headspace, we practice thought concealment and thought separation. Each member of the system is assigned a color coded symbol, for us they're numbers correlating to the order we formed in. Here's an example below:
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So when each of us speak in mindscape for all to hear, we'll also send our symbol out to identify ourselves. This helps keep us separate to alleviate blending.
Now, in order to conceal our thoughts we use a symbol in addition to our identifier, then practice ignoring the thought if the symbol is attached to it. For example, if I'm thinking a private thought I would send this out, and everyone else would ignore the thought:
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Also, if for example I'm talking to Scout specifically I'd send this out and everyone except Scout and I would ignore it:
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I would also use variations of these, like if I want privacy in front I'd use my identifier with a "blindness" symbol. The key to all of this is repetition in order to build the habit. It'll take effort at first, but slowly but surely it'll become automatic so when a symbol is sent out you won't even need to think about ignoring it. The more you practice, the better! We're able to exercise this by also playing chess with each other and constantly using the symbols.
Also new headmate alert! WALL-E used to be a servitor who managed the mindscape and helped us control our communication levels. It's basically the mindscape personified.
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a-green-wolf · 1 month ago
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I guess getting paid and get sponsored is a bad thing now? And how is having many followers a conflict of interest? What do you guys think? If you get paid by doing something like this, then I think it’s great. It might be one of the only ways they get money…
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a-green-wolf · 1 month ago
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Ugh, why is it so fucking hard to find friends in this world? I can't find any other plural artists who want to draw with me. I have no one. This loneliness is actually killing me, and is pushing me closer and closer to the brink. I'm scared for what I'll do if this keeps up.
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a-green-wolf · 1 month ago
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Our progress with full switching, part 1
We're in the process of getting myself (Zenith) out of front convincingly. The type of switching we're pursuing is the kind where you leave front and immerse yourself into either the mindscape or external reality. It's a process that takes commitment and patience, and isn't something that just comes all at once. I'm thinking of it as a training schedule, something to do every day to build the habit.
So far, I've managed to leave front partially and impose myself into external reality better and better with each passing day. I'm trying to tackle one goal at a time when it comes to this, for example maintaining consistent POV while out of body or focusing on imposed senses. Meditation has helped to anchor awareness to anything I choose; at first it was pretty difficult to keep my POV stable as I kept snapping back to the body. Now that I can stay in my "metaphysical body", for lack of a better word, I can start to focus on making my experience more detailed to help lower awareness of front. First, it'll probably be footstep sensations, then once proficient enough we'll move on to more senses like scent and hearing. As it gets better and better, I can train areas of weakness by lying the body down in bed and going to mindscape to better feel the sensations I'm trying to recreate when another headmate is switched in. I don't know how long it'll take, but I'm pretty determined, as this is the closest we've been to the endgame.
Since we've mostly figured out imposition and we're able to impose basic shapes, while I'm switched out I can detect a sort of "skeleton" of what my metaphysical body is seeing. It makes it easier to snap visualizations to it. I would describe this feeling as being in a pitch black room, but facing something you know is there but can't see. If I focus enough it feels like I can just make out the figure. It's easier to impose external reality than go mindscape because there's less the brain has to recreate for the scene.
- Zenith
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a-green-wolf · 1 month ago
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5 Reasons Why I Rely On Music as an Autistic Person..
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Neurodivergent Lou
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a-green-wolf · 1 month ago
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a-green-wolf · 1 month ago
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DONE. For now at least. I'll have to refine it as time goes on.
I've finally cracked prophantasia/imposition!!! Oh my God, I feel so great right now... A huge weight just lifted off on me. All that anxiety and insecurity culminating up to this... I'll write up something about how I did it later, but my God I'm just gonna enjoy this feeling...
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a-green-wolf · 1 month ago
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I've finally cracked prophantasia/imposition!!! Oh my God, I feel so great right now... A huge weight just lifted off on me. All that anxiety and insecurity culminating up to this... I'll write up something about how I did it later, but my God I'm just gonna enjoy this feeling...
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a-green-wolf · 1 month ago
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a-green-wolf · 1 month ago
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Please don't forget our mentally ill brothers and sisters that aren't well enough to come hang out on tumblr
In many ways, we are the glamorous versions of our disorders, the cute and (mostly) functional
We may struggle, but many more stories will never be shared, and far too many never had the chance to share
Don't forget how bad it can get, how hard it can be, how dark it often is for the larger community, and never stop advocating for them, too
Keep them in mind when we talk about system reform
Your argument against the system needs to have a viable alternative for those who can't advocate for themselves, and the families of those people
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a-green-wolf · 1 month ago
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Repeat over days to increase chances of results
Are there meditations I can do to experience phantom limbs please please guys please
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