abilouwrites

[abilouwrites]

I KNOW EVERYBODY HERE THINKS HE NEEDS YOU

ILL JUST BE WAITIN’ RIGHT HERE JUST TO SHOW YOU

@soapyswifee

- I saw ur request and was like fuck yeah let’s go and actually write smth for the first time in like three months ty 🙏

“She genuinely sparkles.. like I genuinely think she’s the sun” Ellie murmurs against a beer- the condensation cools the burning heat in her body. From the fifty people mushed into a small apartment or from the fact she’s watching you. You of all people dancing against some stupid blonde boy.

Your head gently tilted back as your eyes flutter from person to person- but always. They linger— on Ellie? On Jessie? She’s not 100% sure, “I think you’re criminally down horrible for your roommate” He replies coughing slightly into his red cup when a certain girl looks his way and winks.

“Yeah I’m not the only one, what’s going on with you and Dina? Still on and off?” Ellie asks- head tilted towards Jessie but eyes never leaving your dancing figure all until you come shimmying up to Ellie.

It doesn’t catch her by surprise the way your arms link around her shoulders and you pull her against your chest, “hi” you whisper breathlessly into her ear

“Hi” Ellie tries to crane her neck to talk to you face to face, “are you uh.. done dancing?”

She feels the cool exhale from your lips, “maybe, I can’t believe you’re not dancing” she can almost feel the pout against your lips as your chin rests against her shoulder. Ellie’s heart stumbles in her chest as your arms loosen against her shoulders and slip slightly, just for a fraction of a moment she lets herself believe- believe that her 100% straight roommate might have a thing for her biochem major roommate. It’s how they met after all.

“You want a drink?”

“Yeah what are you drinking?” You reach slightly to grab at the beer, “gross” you shake your head slightly and your curled hair tickles against the back of Ellie’s neck. You still drink the bud light.

Ellie shakes her head slightly, “You know you dont like beer?" she reminds playfully, but alas. Any alcohol is good, the buzz to drunken stupor is a steep and easy path for you and Ellie's become all too familiar with your nights spent hunched over a toilet, throwing up.

"Yeah, I still dont understand why you drink it, have something good- like a pina colada or uh.. uh.. cherry coke." Ellie can smell the taste of mixers and other drinks on your breath, in your sweat. She's all too hyper-aware of everything thats happening as you pull yourself away from her. Skin sticking together from the sweat.

Ellie finds you in front of her, suddenly enamored in a conversation with Jessie and Dina, which makes her ache sometimes. The kind thats deep in the heart- in the soul, the kind of ache that only comes from an unrequited love. But when you turn your head to look at her, watch as Ellie's lips move to add something into the conversation, it's like an angel is talking directly to her.

"You wanna get outta here?" You ask, pushing the sweat-licked bangs out of your eyes, "I have a 7am tomorrow." Ellie just stares before slowly nodding, and you do as you always do. Take her hand, and blind trust she'll safely guide you through the crowd of lacrosse and field hockey players.

"Yeah," She nods, grasping your hand firmly as you two weave in and out of standing people.

The walk back to the dorms is fresh and much needed from the smell of beer and sweat, "how do you feel?" You ask- walking slightly ahead of her

"fine, a little tipsy maybe"

"yeah me too"

"I think maybe more than tipsy."

Ellie can see the outline of your smile as you turn slightly, walking backwards to face her, "how was your blind date?"

Your timing is almost comical. Just as Ellie is admiring you, you ask about the awful date she went on. For you- it was your suggestion, wasn't it?

"Uhh, not super? She's focused on hockey, and I want to make captain of FH, so yeah, it just wouldn't work out." Ellie blabbers- lying straight through her teeth because the truth is. She didnt even go. She got in her dads truck and drove around for the hour she was supposed to be with Abby

"liar" You call out

fuck

You continue, "I know you didn't go, she texted me asking how you were feeling because you had the 'flu'" Ellie watches as your expression changes, but then you pivot your heel and turn to open the door to the girls' dormitory

"Oh... uhh" there really isn't an excuse Ellie can think of- no good reason why she would avoid going on a blind-ish date. And it's not like she can lie to you. Again in one night.

And she definitely can't explain how she doesn't want to date anyone but you how the idea of coming home to any face but yours makes the bile in her throat rise and her tear ducts begin to swell but you dont press it. You shrug as you slip your flats off and shimmy a little to adjust the tube top.

"Well, goodnight Ellie"

"Goodnight, y/n."

The walls in the dorms aren’t thick, usually it’s a party at Max’s next door or someone fucking but tonight it’s different. It’s quiet. Except for the toss and turn of someone in the room across the hall.

You make minimal effort in being quiet- the hit of pillows to fluff them up, opening and closing the window, eventually Ellie can hear the covers come off and she’s not sure if you’re making a dash to throw up or to drink some water and take Advil to stay ahead of the hangover.

Finally Ellie decides to stand, shifting the thin covers off and walking out to check on you, “you alright?” She asks, pushing the hair up from the back of her neck

“Eh. I can’t sleep” you murmur, moving to sit on a piece of loose furniture

“Somethin on your mind?” Ellie finds herself asking- you shift uncomfortably at the question. Bringing your knees to your chest and sighing, “you can tell me” Ellie goes at the question gently. With the tact and politeness she’d never picked up from Joel- but the kind that Dina had slowly brushed onto her.

“Kinda but also—“ you shrug and hair falls from the loose low bun and begins to rest on your shoulders, “it’s so..” you sigh again. Tense and unsure how to carry on

Ellie sits slowly and her eyes flick all over your body- from your deep sunken in eyes and messy hair that seriously needs a cut and a touch up, but finally she focuses on the mole above your lips, it almost kisses the top of your cupids bow, “you don’t have to talk-” She starts but suddenly the words begin to flow

“How did you know?”

“Know what?” Ellie raises her eyebrow and perks her lips

“That you uh. Liked girls?” The words trail out and off your lips and hit her like an arrow through the chest.

“Oh.”

“I- fuck this is. I’m sorry” you go to stand but Ellie’s hand grabs you down, “Ellie” your voice- just a whisper

“Kiss me”

Jesus Christ she’d found her chance and god forgive if she was going to let it go.

Drunk? Probably not- horny? Most definitely. You throw your lips against her- sure you’d kissed guys before but this. This wasn’t just teeth chattering against eachother as some drunk guy tries to touch your boobs. This was. Is. Tactful.

Ellie knows her movements, her hands go to your waist and she deepens the kiss, you don’t know if you’re dreaming or really awake as she takes a hand and her index finger caresses the underside of your boob.

But when she pulls away- her hands are still touching you, “so?” She asks, almost mockingly tilting her head to the side.

The whine that leaves your lips is almost musical to her ears as you crawl back to her- hands grabbing at her face to smash your lips on hers once again.

[abilouwrites]

When casting, you have to consider what the role demands. Take for example, Arthur Morgan from Red Dead Redemption II. He is a pretty big, imposing figure. So naturally, you would want someone who can get that big or already is naturally. That is what the role demands. Arthur's physicality is an important part of his appearance. For Ellie Williams, however, that is not the case. The only prerequisite for her appearance is to pass as a teenage girl.

Where Arthur's physique informs his lifestyle and role as the gang's brutal enforcer, Ellie's appearance doesn't actually say much of anything about her. She is a small, ordinary teenage girl because The Last of Us is all about ordinary people in impossible circumstances. The more ordinary she appears, the better this would be communicated.

Her role does not demand that she have auburn hair and sparkling green eyes and freckles with a button nose because the truth is that Ellie could be anyone. Joel could be anyone. The story would function regardless of whether or not they looked 1:1 because the themes they explore are universal in nature, the characters are conduits for those themes.

There is nothing particularly unique about Joel or Ellie. Joel is an aging survivor from Texas with a tragic backstory about a dead daughter. He likes country music and working with his hands. Not exactly anything to write home about, but that's the point. He's deep down an ordinary man. His choice to sacrifice humanity to save Ellie is one that many parents can sympathize with. He is not unique in that decision.

They both fall into tried and true archetypes we have seen quite literally hundreds of times. It's not a bad thing, but my point still stands. Like how many times have we seen grizzled man with a tragic backstory about a dead family member? Possibly hundreds to even thousands of times.

Joel and Ellie could be of any race. Any gender. It could be about a mother and son. It could be about a mother and daughter. Joel could have blond hair and a mustache and Ellie could have short black hair. The story would still function perfectly because the themes are so universal in nature.

Am I saying that we should completely ignore resemblance? No. If you can get an actor who looks the part and can play the part, then that's great! That's perfect. People naturally want to see their favorite characters be brought to life. That's perfectly normal, but it's more complicated than it seems.

They don't just go up and go "Hugh Jackman, I want you to play Joel. Come play Joel for me." It costs a lot of money, time, and it also depends on whether or not the actor even wants to do it. It can cost a lot of money to get the actor you want in a role, and it still won't be guaranteed.

Remember that these productions are also operating on a budget and the cost to get an actor to be in a role comes from that very same budget. An actor could cost the production half the budget depending on who they are and what they're willing to take for the role. They might be busy too with another project and not be available for filming.

All of this is to say: shut the fuck up about Bella Ramsey.

[abilouwrites]

The end of episode 4 be like;

[abilouwrites]

they hate to see you (shauna shipman/ellie williams) leave your girlfriend (melissa/dina) after she’s hit with an arrow to hunt someone down but someone’s gotta do it

[abilouwrites]

Hi! I have a canon powershot s90 and I’m trying to download pictures on my Mac! Does anyone know how to download those pics!!?? I’m thinking I need to buy an SD card download them onto there? Then onto my Mac? Or does anyone know an easier way?? Please lmk!! They have valuable pics from when me and my sisters were younger 🙏🙏🙏

[abilouwrites]

in a week

[abilouwrites]

NO EARTHLY SIGHT COULD MATCH THE BEAUTY SHE DISPLAYS

AND WHEN I DIE I WANT HER LYIN BY MY SIDE

Abby didn’t realize she loved you when she felt that way. It was only when she saw you hunched over- back pressed against the edge of the couch typing away on your computer. She’d just come back from the gym, tired and sweaty after lifting twice of what she should’ve. Ego lifting? Maybe.

Your hair messily clipped up and glasses slipping down your nose as you press deeper into the computer. It’s not like your girlfriends or anything. But it’s not not like you’re just friends either, “hey.. how’s that goin? You still working on that?” She asks, leaning behind you, resting her head atop yours

“Yeah, god but once I’m done I’m done with this for good” You say, leaning your head back slightly to look at her. She’s pretty, hair braided back as it always is. A slight sheen on her skin- proof she’s been working out, “I defend my thesis on Wednesday so I need to make sure that I’m prepared and competent in this”

You hear her scoff slightly, “yeah yeah, like you don’t talk about MS and other neurological disorders on a daily basis. Y’know you even talk about it when you’re drunk” Abby states it so truthfully and it’s because- it is. There are videos of you- in a skimpy little dress talking about a neurological disorder squinting your eyes because the glasses ruin the outfit.

“Ah you know you love it” You tease mockingly, “but I could use a break” you scratch the back of your neck as Abby walks into the kitchen, which is only two steps from the living room. No doors except to the bedrooms and the bathroom- a regular apartment for regular graduate students, “how was rugby?” The computer slides off your lap and neatly settles onto the couch, the words of multiple articles and information spent from nights in the labs.

Many of those where you would sit outside eating junk with Abby because no food was allowed, she’d come after her practices, even one night after a national game. Fries and chicken tenders, a soup for a day you were sick, and sometimes traditional food, the kind you crave when the nights are long and days short.

It’s when your arms wrap around her as she cuts vegetables that Abby realizes she’s in love with you. She can feel the softness of your breath against the bareness of her open tank-top. It’s then that she realizes that she loves you.

Love underneath the suffocating expectations of family, teachers, underneath the drowning relationship with Owen. And that’s what truly scares her- to be vulnerable and honest to you. Her roommate. Her sometimes girlfriend, sometimes fling. Her roommate that crawls into her bed when the crushing darkness scares her awake.

“You doin alright baby?” Abby asks as you hold her, she’s so hyper aware she feels the twitch of your eyelashes as you close and open your eyes

“Yeah, just tired” it’s offsetting, how easy it is to be with you, “you never answered my question”

“Huh? Practice was good, weights today. Are you uh gonna come to the game? It’s on Thursday” Abby asks, “after the track meet”

“Oh yeah I’ll be there” You nod, “wouldn’t miss it for the world baby”

Baby, there it is. Pet names. Ones used in relationships used on friends- except do friends know how you moan? Kiss? Do they know how your toes curl and you get all giggly before you come? But that’s what you and Abby are. Friends.

“I appreciate it y/n”

“Hey im gonna shower are you cookin? Or are we orderin?”

“I’m just cutting vegetables for stew. We can order in, watch a movie?”

“Mmh”

Is this what love is? You in her arms, eyes closed and snoring softly. You’re drooling, mouth open as you lay atop her. Abby’s hands and arms wrapped around your waist. Riskily resting one on your butt. The movies long forgotten and truthfully so is that research.

The dampness of your hair cools her slightly from the racing temperature of your body and then hers. She wants to ask you what the pair of you are, but when your legs kick out slightly and you shake she simply holds you. Kissing gently against your temple. Listening to the huff and puff of your breath. Her hands ride up your shirt, caressing softly the scar on your lower scapula.

But when your eyes flutter awake- she knows it’s love. She knows this terrifying feeling all too well, “can I sleep with you tonight?”

“Of course”

[abilouwrites]

I LOVE ABBY ANDERSON

TLDR; Abby Anderson isn’t a good person but she’s not the evil monster I see everyone making her out to be

And it’s not because she’s oh so hot Ms. Misunderstood evil bad girl muscle mommy but because she’s genuinely flawed, she has her hero’s cycle as do most characters. If we had started the game with her we would’ve felt her be the good guy in game 2. But we didn’t. She’s the one who killed Joel. But if we had started from her perspective. Joel would’ve been the villain. And while most of this is yes just a rehash I see people litteling her down into the buff nemesis of Ellie Williams certified smoker.

Abby is much more than that, she has her ups and downs and yes she seeks revenge but wouldn’t you? Would you not have gone after your father’s killers? Would you not have done what she’d done to the man that took away any chance of normal the WORLD had?

And the thing is, she’s not a bad character. Sure she killed Joel miller and she’s killed other people but so had Ellie? Ellie had killed her friends too, Ellie killed her people too. She has good inside of her too. Facing her fears to help a boy and his sister, defying her leader to protect him?

In a world of outlaws the line between morals blur. Good and bad become intertwined, Abby isn’t perfect but it’s unfair to expect her to be that. She’s a young adult whose father was brutally ripped away from her and then she spends the better part of a year being hunted by that man’s adoptive daughter. Nearly being brutally harmed by her too.

Yeah. She killed Jesse. But she didn’t harm the other people in Jackson. She killed Joel and that was all. That was her mission- yes Ellie’s was revenge but on that trail she lost herself. She fell down the well of pity and a need for revenge.

But also I do believe the narrative of story 2 elevates these feelings, Ellie not having any sympathy or mentioning of Shimmer (rip queen) or having an ounce of dialogue about killing the dogs but what some don’t understand- Ellie’s not all there. Not in the sense she’s high but in the fact she’s so disoriented and still hidden underneath the blanket of grief the idea of letting someone or something back in would shatter her.

Abby Anderson isn’t a good person. But she’s not the evil monster people have made her out to be.

Thank you for listening to my rant I’ve had too much coffee and scored five on all my AP lit exams sooo.. :) I feel like all this is very brush of the surface but if anyone is interested in me going in depth on her character I think it would be fun :)

Abby defender till the day I die

[abilouwrites]

Hello I come here to read and write about silly characters not get socially analyzed at 2 am while im procrastinating a research essay…

when you grew up as a lonely uncool girl it will never stop haunting you by the way. you will meet a cool person at a bar or the train station or at a friend's party and you can wear your most stylish outfit and striking eye makeup and you will swear that they can see through all of the facade and see the lonely terribly insecure teenage girl you used to be who desperately wanted to connect and you will swear that they know that there is like an insurmountable gap between you. this will happen forever

[abilouwrites]

If you need a laugh uh I have one..

So my little sister got her wisdom teeth out this morning. She gets home takes a nap and I get back from work and I fall asleep.

TELL ME WHY I WAKE UP TO HER STANDING OVER MY BED AND JUSY MURMURING, “ice cream. Ice cream. Ice cream” AGAIN AND AGAIN. HELLO?? WHAT??

Anyways.. now I’m taking her to get ice cream 😖😖

It was giving.. “Mommm:( I frew up..”

[abilouwrites]

Happy Valentine’s Day guys!! Sorry if I haven’t been uploading a lot, college and managing a long distance relationship is hard and I don’t want to publish something that isn’t my best work!

Wishing everyone love with or without a significant other!!

[abilouwrites]

[abilouwrites]

OH IM GONNA KMS I FREAKING BLED EVERYWHWEE UGH WHY CANR MY COOCHIE COAPARATE FIR ONE FREAKUNG DAY OH MY GSODD AND I WAS WEARING WHITE TOO HOLY MOLY YUCK YUCK AHAHAHAH

bi daily crash out omg ugh ugh ugh 😖😖😖

I do not appreciate this at all

#soaking my fav white sweats in stain remover or I’m gonna shoot my self

[abilouwrites]

But. I have a labradoodle…

But also he has rly bad skin issues so yeah..

*in the ‘I’m from the undercity voice viktor*

[abilouwrites]

now that trump has tiktok, twitter, facebook and insta in his pocket, get ready for a massive wave of internet censorship. one of trump's greatest weapons has always been misinformation; it's going to become harder and harder to spread facts and criticism going forward. posts that aren't made invisible will be magically ignored by the algorithm. dissidents will have their accounts deleted and voices erased.

this is a suppression tactic. this is another stage of fascism.

[abilouwrites]

Highly recommend everyone to read ‘the handmaids tale’ by Margot Atwood before it’s too late. Her fantasy is becoming Americas reality. History will repeat itself unless we recognize the patterns

i’m really overwhelmed and anxiety ridden with what’s happening in the united states right now. and frankly, it’s (understandably) saturating all my other social media platforms, so it’s been hard for me to speak on it here because i just… need a cleanse. but i will say this:

please, do not turn a blind eye. all the power now lies in the hands of a greedy, wealthy few. that is not democracy. we cannot be silent about it.

my fellow chicagoan’s (and all others who this pertains to) prepping for what we all fear may be coming this week: you are not alone. know your rights. prepare. stick together.

this page has been and always will be a safe space for women, people of color, queer folk, trans folk, those with disabilities. an executive order cannot erase you from history, and it will not erase you now.

please hold each other tightly. we are most powerful in masses. we cannot slow down and give up. we need to be more alert and active than ever. i love you.

[abilouwrites]

Rip to all my saved Cait, Ellie Williams, Abby Anderson, vi etc edits you will be missed …

They also took CapCut so no one talk to me im unwell..

Also my sister came in almost crying with, “my audios.. my audios what will I do now” and yk what. Me too

Anyways send VPN recs