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If you mess up a social interaction you can say "Failed Experiment" and move on

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so true daisuke my king. im always saying this

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this is the entire kei lumennura arc right?

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So my family has a Gay Pirate Plate.

Stay with me.

We do not know how the hell the Gay Pirate Plate was first acquired. This being a point of contention is actually pretty plot-relevant; the saga of the Gay Pirate Plate began with my grandmother and her sister, who, for some ungodly reason, both BADLY wanted the Gay Pirate Plate and believed it to be rightfully theirs.

I should back up, firstly, to establish: The Gay Pirate Plate is the cheapest, tackiest, ugliest plate in existence.

It is in no way a collector’s item. It is physically impossible for it to complement anyone’s decor, because the colors in it are garish. It’s just a ceramic plate with a gay pirate painted on it, and the painting is, this cannot be emphasized enough, extremely bad.

(How do we know the pirate is gay if he’s just posing on a plate? Listen. Fully 100% to stereotype, but he is. He is gay. There’s an energy. That pirate is a flaming homosexual. That pirate has sex with men and does it frequently. That pirate is fucking gay, all right, he just is.)

Anyway. The point is that this is an extremely cheap and ugly plate with a poorly-executed painting of pirate on it who is like a nine on the Kinsey scale.

My grandmother and her sister fought a blood feud over this plate for their entire lives. It would be on the wall in my grandma’s house, and then her sister would visit, and then it would be gone. She’d visit her sister and the plate would be on the wall and her sister would pretend it had always been there. She would steal it back, hang it up, and, when her sister visited, pretend it had always been there. This continued for DECADES.

When the sister died, the Gay Pirate Plate lived triumphantly in my grandmother’s house. And then my grandmother died. And my aunt, who had lived with her and been her carer throughout her life, rightfully inherited their house.

We visit my aunt after the funeral and stay with her for a week or two.

Me, my sister, and our dad. Her brother.

The three of us look at each other. We don’t say anything. We studiously avoid making eye contact with the Gay Pirate Plate mounted proud and ugly on the wall. We notice one another studiously avoiding looking at it. We notice one another noticing. We say nothing. We come to a silent consensus. We pack up to leave. We get in the van. Our aunt comes out to say goodbye. I loudly announce I need to use the restroom before we leave. She obviously stays outside to continue talking to my dad.

I take down the Gay Pirate Plate, stuff it under my oversized sweatshirt, go outside, and get in the van. She happily waves goodbye as we drive off.

Two days later my dad gets a phone call that opens with hysterical laughter and “You FUCKING ASSHOLE did you seriously STEAL THE PLATE–”

Anyway. The gay pirate plate lives in my dad’s house currently.

But he’s trying to get me and my sister out to visit him. And plate mounts are cheap.

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radio transmission

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i want to be an actor in porn but not a porn star i want to be the evil wife whose husband is having a lurid gay affair and i pretend i don’t notice while they’re doing looney toons shit to each other under the dinner table. that’s acting to me

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absolute youngest of seven energy right out the gate

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😇😈

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unsleeping city (s1) quotes

the people liked my fantasy high quotes and i've been on a d20 binge recently so i now present... a vibes-based collection of quotes from TUS:

“There’s not an errand I can’t run after a fistful of mushrooms" - Pete

“Santa is real and he’s dead” - Kugrash

“Darling I don’t study magic, I am magic” - Misty Moore

“Santa! Get your ass up!” - Kingston

“I’d love to go to this wedding with you. Do you wanna eat some crumbs off me?” - Ricky

“I’m gonna cast guidance on myself and try one more time to seduce a rat" - Kugrash

“Nobody’s happy at a wedding" - Misty

“I make out with the moon” - Misty

“I just got a call on my axe” - Ricky

“I’m a blind bear right now, but I would like to throw Steven Sondheim at the pixie” - Kugrash

“The umbrella just crit” - Rowan

“I ask the bagel who’s in trouble” - Kugrash

“I want to tie two rats together and make nunchucks" - Sofia

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finally finished this drawing of mother goose that i had sitting on my computer for like over a month lol

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fantasy high quotes

i've been binging d20 recently and my love language is taking notes so here is a vibes-based collection of fantasy high quotes that tickled me (from all seasons) in vaguely chronological order:

“Everything’s just like something else” - Gorgug’s mum

“Speaking of boning down, have you seen my mother lately?” - Riz

“Can I cast detect thoughts on myself? - Adaine

“Am I my own dad?” - Gorgug

“I’d like to invest in swamp Venice— it sounds idyllic” - Fig

“Do maids have dreams?” - Fabian

“I love you too. Is that normal?” - Ayda

“I did a bunch of magic. It was too much. You can’t just destroy a government” - Arthur Aguefort

“Well, I’m up under here and there’s this apple jammed in my mouth. I’m gonna piss." - Gilear

“I kiss her and then I skateboard away” - Fig

“I disguise myself as someone who has passed the bar exam” - Fig

“You’ll never be half the boat my van is” - Gorgug

“I cast ‘spare the dying’ on Gilear’s penis” - Gorgug

“I might have made a deal with a devil of acid reflux” - Fig

“Hindsight is 50/50" - Adaine

“If we want to save face we need to burn your house down” - Fig

“Do I have any wherewithal once I’m in the briefcase?” - Riz

“I’m going to sneak into Gilear’s room tonight and give him a vasectomy” - Fabian

“You catch a lot more bees with sugar” - Kristen

“Are the rats showing hole?” - Fabian

“DO YOU HAVE WATER VEHICLE PROFICIENCY, JAWBONE?” - Riz

“There’s too many dragons! We gotta just keep shooting Grandma and gassing it” - Riz

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I honestly think the original ah lads not again post is the funniest

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Fantasy High: Sophomore Year Episode 7 "The Friendship Section" bonus:

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Say hi intrepid heroes!

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The Gunner Channel: where the ball is always rolling up

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