aftgpipedream

[aftgpipedream]

always thinking abt this god

i know some of nora's extra content are... so out of character... and... questionable... but there's this one part that never faiIs to make me feel things;

"And then Neil was— gone

And Andrew wanted to–wanted to burn the world, wanted to shove aside everyone standing in his way, wanted to tear the stadium down bench by bench and bolt by bolt, until he figured out where Neil was,"

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hc that neil finds renee unsettling because she has sanpaku eyes like his father (but he hasn’t seen him in so long he completely did not realize)

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hello thank you @bazookajo94 i have been absolutely swamped with work but !! thank you so kindly <3

three ships: andreil, snowbaz, n’ blue/gansey from trc

first ever ship: i have absolutely no clue, but if i had to guess, probably miley and jake from hannah montana LMAO

last song: cornelia street (live from paris) - taylor swift (her music is the easiest thing to do hw to)

last movie: ... i mean technically luca but i just put it on in the background to get work done tbh 

currently reading: nothing new but a whole lot of fanfiction recently - just finished the atlas six and loved it 

currently watching: gilmore girls ! for the first time and it is SO so so good i highly recommend 

currently consuming: had some peppermint tea n’ water yes.

currently craving: a fucking break and some good oatmeal.

tagging: @minyardaandrew , @hoeforaftg , @butallmystars , @thefoxholequeer , @blue-jos10 , @imstupidrememberr , @hicholasnemmick , @neilstriker , @lemonicee 

Rules: Tag nine people you want to know better

I was tagged by @anarchyforcanon 👀👀

Three ships: Midam (SPN), Culmets (Star Trek Discovery), Sam/Eileen/Gabriel/Rowena (also SPN - chaos polycule my beloved)

First ever ship: JouKai (or puppyshipping or violetshipping whatever we call it these days :D) from Yu-Gi-Oh! (and honestly I'm still shipping it XD)

Last song: 'I write sins not tragedies' by Panic! at the disco. (I listened to a lot of 2006 music the last few days for my Midam high school AU that takes place in that year.)

Last movie: Encato :D (Watch me make Encanto-natural posts, yo)

Currently reading: Started 'False Value' by Ben Aaronovitch yesterday. It's part of the Rivers of London series, but I'm not sure if I like the set-up for this one... we'll see. I'm only a few pages in yet.

Currently watching: 'What we do in the shadows' (Vampire mocumentary everyone!!). Also 'The Legend of Vox Machina' (Critical Role, my beloved - at last this is a format of it that doesn't take so much time that it's daunting to even start an episode. :') I still love the original but I'm not sure I can ever finish Campaign 1 or catch up with the rest.)

Currently consuming: I had wraps with Nutella and applesauce this morning. 👀

Currently craving: Coffee. Of course I've had that already today, but. You can never have enough coffee. Half-kidding, of course you can drink too much, and I try to hold back but also... gimme the wake-up juice.

tagging: Uuuuuh idk who wants to be tagged or not or who has already done this that I haven't seen, so feel free to ignore but I choose you, Pikachu - @jumptheshark @ckneal @beesreadbooks @sea-chest @whothefuckcare @silvery-luna @tuometarr @angelscas @heaven-ecologist

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just found out who dane dehaan is and i could’ve gone my whole life without knowing people use him for andrew/aaron fancast :[

every time i see a fancast of andrew and aaron as dane dehaan i cry

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oo pls y’all i’m drowning in school work and need a Break

aftg asks!!

neil josten: favorite/most iconic line?

nathaniel wesninski: one thing you would change about the books? (plot, characters, etc)

andrew minyard: if you could be friends with one of the characters, who would you pick?

kevin day: if you played exy, what would your position be?

dan wilds: favorite moment/scene?

matt boyd: song you would love to see in a live-action adaptation?

nicky hemmick: which made you more emotional, neil at evermore or neil in baltimore?

aaron minyard: a character you will defend to your death?

katelyn: which minor character do you wish you could see more of?

allison reynolds: favorite headcanon about the foxes?

renee walker: favorite non-canonical ship? (renison, jerejean, etc)

seth gordon: most underrated dynamic? (matt & neil, wymack & andrew, etc)

david wymack: which ncaa team would you play for?

abby winfield: which character was the most realistically written?

besty dobson: how many times have you read the series?

riko moriyama: coolest exy moment? (kevin’s last-minute point against the ravens, andrew shutting down the goal, etc)

jeremy knox: which do you like reading more, domestic!foxes or chaotic!foxes?

jean moreau: favorite friendship?

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i think that once andrew realizes he’s in love with neil, he stops sitting on the very edge of the roof because he gets that feeling from certain moments with neil. 

he never has to say it. he doesn’t believe saying the word love means anything, but he knows that it’s something he’s capable of. something that can be safe and warm, and not be ripped away from him. 

he feels that stomach drop feeling when he catches neil’s gaze in a certain light. or when they’re at eden’s and neil’s face turns rosy after a drink or two, his mouth shining in the blue light.

to feel it, so strongly, isn’t bad. the word itself - fine. he’d never use it. but he thinks it’s the only thing to describe that perpetual fall in his stomach. the way neil hooks a hand over andrew’s hip when they share the bed leaves him tingling all over, feeling breathless more than the roof’s edge ever left him. 

it won’t settle, not for a long while. that cliff’s edge feeling, raw and alive in his veins. but he stays away from the roof’s edge. feels fresh air when he breathes. feels alive. it’s more than he thought he deserved. neil smiles at him and andrew feels the full weight of him, beating hard in his chest. a controlled fall. a safer drop.

he doesn’t say the word. but he can hear it in the quiet, neil’s head on his chest as the sun rises. neither of them use it, but neil’s soft eyes in the morning sun say enough. andrew presses a hard kiss against his forehead just to feel neil smile against his chest.

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i want everyone to know that when i write fic, i refuse to acknowledge that aftg is set in the 2000′s <3 ‘canon compliant’ means everything is the same except it’s not bc i refuse to write them in a time frame where low rise jeans were in style 

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you,,,,, you get it

my favorite things about andreil, an extensive list because i need to talk about them:

- this bone deep understanding they have for each other. this is something neither of them have been able to achieve with anyone else. andrew sees right through neil's lies, and neil figures out the truth about andrew's supposed sociopathic tendencies when his even his own cousin didn't. neil knows when not to push andrew, and andrew knows how to bring neil down. they will be able to understand the meaning behind the other's words, the way neil understood the percentages and the 'i hate you's'. they just get each other in a way i've never seen before in a ship, ever, and i think it's beautiful.

- the amount of trust they have for each other. not just in the content way, bcs that gets a whole other section, but just. the trust. neil trusts andrew with his life, he trusts andrew to keep him safe and he trusts andrew with his secrets. neil has never done this before, ever. he was trained to never trust anyone, so to see him give up bits of his soul for andrew? there's something really special about that. andrew in turn, trusts neil to never push too hard, trusts neil to know when to stop asking, and they trust each other so much it- *sobs*

- the yes or nos. the consent. this was really beautiful to read, especially now, in 2020, when explicit consent is seen as an overreaction or being too dramatic. it was refreshing to see neil accepting these yes or nos without question, and answering them everytime even if the answer was always gonna be yes. andrew refusing to kiss neil again until he gets an explicit yes, because "i won't be like them. i won't let you let me be." neil only ever wants to learn andrew's boundaries so he won't ever go too far. andrew is okay with their relationship because neil listens to nos.

- andrew is perfect for neil. andrew doesn't shy away from the harsher parts of neil's life, he doesn't get scared or disgusted when neil talks about his father or his life on the run. andrew accepts this, andrew takes these parts of neil and moves on. andrew's brand of caring, the harsh, blunt way he approaches neil's panic attacks and breakdowns is exactly what neil needs. he doesn't trust kindness, and andrew isn't kind.

- neil is perfect for andrew. neil is someone who took the time to try and figure andrew out, even when the rest of the team brushed him off as a monster. neil learned the way andrew viewed the world, the way andrew views other people and himself, before anyone else did. i already talked about it, but the way neil understands andrew is something that keeps me up at night. neil knows andrew better than anyone ever will, not because andrew let's him but because neil tries and succeeds in learning him himself.

- their WORDPLAY. andrew doesn't ever say things clearly, or at least when he's talking to neil he doesn't. neil takes andrew's words and remembers them, just so he can throw them back at andrew later on. they remember these things, these words and phrases that everyone else would file away as unnecessary and keep them close to their hearts. that's a terrible way of explaining it but yeah, their wordplay is the best.

- the way they view each other. neither of them believe that the other can fix them, neither of them believe that the other can make them whole. they are enough for each other, they provide distraction when necessary and listen when it's important. they know that this thing, whatever it is, is not going to be able to heal them and give them their happy ending, but it's important enough that it makes both of them want to try. try to heal, try to grow, try to get their happy ending.

- their communication! they don't shy away from telling each other the truth, they don't try to soften the blows of harsh words and they tell each other exactly what they need and what they're thinking. they don't hide behind softer phrases and expect the other to figure it out for themselves. they do the wordplay and the banter but they don't try and hide their own personal issues from each other. they might not talk about feelings constantly, but communication is one of the biggest aspects in andreil's relationship and it's a lot of the reason why neil stuck with it, i think at least.

- bouncing off of that, their silent communication. they know each other SO WELL. neil can, for the most part, tell what andrew is thinking from just looking at him a little closer than everyone else. he notices andrew. andrew reads neil like an open book, which is impressive considering neil is really good at hiding what he is thinking and feeling. they don't need words.

- the fact that these two are actually really fucking soft, just not in the way anyone would expect them to be. they talked for 3 hours on the bus on the way to birminghamton. neil stares at andrew in a way that makes andrew tell him to 'stop staring'. andrew makes neil smile. they steal each others cigarettes. they have matching coats. they have matching phones. they have matching ARMBANDS for fucks sake. andrew kisses neil like the world and stops and starts with his mouth. they will follow each other without question. they sit on the fucking rooftop and look out at the sky. neil watches andrew on flights to make sure he's okay. andrew holds the back of neil's neck and tells him he's real.

- they don't say i love you. they don't get married. i don't hate when fics or hcs say they do these things, bcs some people can actually find a way to go about it without trying to change them completely and shove them into a stereotype of them being a happy couple and bash nora for the fun of it, but i personally like it. them not saying i love you literally just means they find thousands of other ways to express how much they mean to each other. they hold hands, they tell each other secrets, they have cats, they have an apartment together. andrew let's neil push him down, and when neil reaches for a gun he finds andrew's arm instead. they trust each other and that, i think, means more to them more than any i love you or marriage certificate ever will.

these two are soulmates in every sense of the word, and i can't believe i was lucky enough to find them.

(alternatively: all the reasons why andreil isn't overhyped and you just have no reading comprehension skills)

[aftgpipedream]

anways i don’t have much schoolwork to be done and i’d like to get back into my writing groove,,,, if y’all wanna send aftg prompts that’d be lovely !

[aftgpipedream]

ASKDJSHDS PLEASE

Neil: You don't understand, it's my destiny to sacrifice myself, I deserve to die if it means even the slimmest chance of stopping Riko from hurting anyone else.

Andrew: If you live I'll let you kiss me on the mouth.

Neil:... on the mouth?

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imagine if neil did the whole riko roast but riko had auditory processing issues so he had no clue what he said,,,,, just the end of the roast and riko’s like,,, “huh?”

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"If you have to keep asking - I'll answer it as many times as you ask. But this is always going to be yes."

"Don't 'always' me."

(Dat 3 of artober "comfort")

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you had the choice not to share this thought and did. how does it feel to be my villain origin story?

currently crying at work over the fact that Andrew wouldn’t take Neil’s last name if they got married cause then his first and last initials would be AJ and he’d never want to hear that name again

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ONE OF MY FAVE ARTISTS HELLO

Neil would find the sweating hot if it wasn’t dripping into his eye (I missed these boys).

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this,,,, this is ,,,,,,,, oh

ohhhhhh

“once he opened himself up to love he just couldn’t stop tumbling into it or say no to it”

crying sobbing violently screaming ohhh my fucking god 

you know what I think about a lot? how when andrew kissed neil and touched him intimately, neil was thinking about how surprised he was that touch could be warm and not filled with malicious intent. and that was addictive to him and therefore 'dangerous' and a 'distraction', and it's so sad because his mom really made him think that wanting to feel safe and adored by the people you love is a distraction! like I get why (nuance) but also the way he frames it makes me so-

once he opened himself up to love he just couldn't stop tumbling into it or say no to it, to the point where he was in the car being tortured and only thinking of how fiercely he missed his team, when a couple months earlier he was unsure of whether he could call them his friends. in his exploration of a physical relationship with andrew, he figured they could just be physical, not admitting to himself or realising that he liked andrew a lot and wanted to keep feeling those warm touches where he felt more alive with every kiss and brush of fingers. it was never just physical. i'm so emo over this

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this is BEAUTIFUL 

andrew and neil still consume my every waking thought :’)

[aftgpipedream]

a day where touch is a comfort a few years down the line 

pls i’m ugly crying

a good day ⛅️

a day where touch is a comfort a few years down the line

pls don’t repost friends, thank you reblogs are welcome! click for high res bby