ahfuensteightn

[ahfuensteightn]

Robert Wun Fall/Wint 2024

[ahfuensteightn]

Obcessed with Spirit Bag from La Lune SS25

[ahfuensteightn]

[ahfuensteightn]

What’s left on the battlefield - Welder Wings

[ahfuensteightn]

Abtei im Eichwald (details) - Caspar David Friedrich

[ahfuensteightn]

I really like the snow queen’s design in the 1957 Russian animated movie

[ahfuensteightn]

any other adhders out there that try and “bookmark” thoughts that you would like to think about when you’re done thinking about the thing you’re currently thinking about but you forget what the thing you wanted to think about was

[ahfuensteightn]

The world won’t and with us. But my world may have after you left.

I didn’t even realise how much loved you meant to me, how much I would miss you once you are gone. There are so much things I should have said but didn’t. Others leaving didn’t feel as painful as you has. I sorry I didn’t realise you left me forever. Please forgive me, love.

I wonder if you went through with your promise. If you still remember me. You somewhat forgot me twice, wouldn’t be surprised if it happened again.

I loved you so much. I am sorry that I haven’t told how I felt, that I let you go, I thought it was the right thing to do. I often wish if only I have had a second chance would could have I done. Please let your ghost leave me alone already or come back. I just wanna go. At least I hope you are happy now. I love you so much. Please, find someone to love it.

To my beloved Edward

[ahfuensteightn]

Welcome home my beloved child

Remember now matter how far away or how long it will take

I will arrive upon your call

Just remember my name

That way I’ll always will be in your memories

I love you, darling

Please, love me

[ahfuensteightn]

Random Diary Entry

There are a lot of things I would like to share with people. To explain to people that I like. I’d like to say why am I so scared to coming to close with them, or why I joke about suicide 24/7. I just don’t think that those essays about my idiocity will be appropriate in the situations. I don’t think I’ll ever share something that deep inside me with anyone of them. I don’t want to think I’m weird or to be scared. I want to see smiles on their faces and hear their laugh and I’d like to share something back, but I cannot give anything. Atleast anything nice or funny. Maybe I’m just too bad as a companion, haha.

I would like to share all I want with them, but I’m scared. I don’t want to think I’m weak or broken. Even if I am, there no need for them to know. Sometimes I imagine stuff like that In my head and it never sounds good, huh. Maybe I just miss something important.

Funny how many aspects of my life still feel the same way although multiple years have passed. Guess some things never change.

[ahfuensteightn]

Soulmates aren’t always mutual, right?

You know it's funny how I thought I could overcome this. I guess growing up in a toxic home environment and shitty school really messed me up. Like imagine being scared of a person who gives you a sense of comfort and does things to ensure your well-being. Imagine closing your eyes, while their hand gently touches the back of your head and rather than feeling comfort feeling terror. Like a trap I should escape. Being taken care of is indeed a strange feeling. I guess I'm too scared to feel hurt again, to feel this empty care again.

This person, I cannot describe how great they are enough. I feel like they deserve so much more that they have. The sense of comfort, of calmness, acceptance and what seems like genuine care is unmeasurable. Just thinking about them makes me feel like home, and yet it is painful as it feels like it is something I will never truly touch and feel. We are great companions. I would lie if I would state the opposite.

Yesterday, I pushed the person away, not too far away but still as if trying to create distance. I regret it in less than 10 minutes. I still do. And I have just promised not to regret anything when this year has started. I remembered why I hated having feelings in middle school, haha. They are unbearable. Where have a gone the wrong path? I-I did not agree to this. I don't want to go through this pain all over again. Why does it feel so good to be around them? Why can't I just move on already? I know they care for me, but this is so painful to endure, I am about to cry. Just why. Why.

[ahfuensteightn]

"Life has become an absurd repetition. Indifference has eaten this world and society we live in. It is up to you whether you will sink with It or will you arise above It and make your own revolt."

- new vision, "creation of your own revolt"

[ahfuensteightn]

Maurice-Louis Branger/Roger-Viollet . Winter in Paris, children playing in the snow . Jardin de Luxembourg . 1919

[ahfuensteightn]

[ahfuensteightn]

some tatoos

[ahfuensteightn]

@v-diggety​ 🎂🎂🎂HAPPY BIRTHDAY 🎂🎂🎂

[ahfuensteightn]

Venus