I am so proud of you for this, love.
You're My Baby, Say It To Me
Your mental health has taken a dip again. But it is okay. Mama Ally is here to pick up all the (literal) pieces.
Pairing: Ally Mayfair x Teen!Reader (Gender neutral)
Word Count: 1300
Warnings: mental health themes, collapsing, themes of s*lf-harm
Yes, if you can believe it, I did write this fic as less bad than the true story ouch.
It was getting bad again.
Though, this time, you weren’t entirely sure if you had ever gotten better in the first place.
The feeling deep in your chest was heavy, and with every step you took, it became harder to not sink right into the floor.
Through the tile, through the foundations, through the dirt.
To bury yourself in this depression that had built up around you.
It was different this time.
You felt as if you had talked too much, shared too much. Everyone was so so worried, but even their concern didn’t seem enough.
No one could touch you when you had already blocked them off before they even tried.
University had failed. It was supposed to be a new start, but somehow you had fucked it up even more than at home.
Now that was impressive.
At least you had your mama.
It was just you and her, and she had struggled when you were gone.
The house seemed so much emptier, and she was looking forward to having you home for the holidays.
But not this early.
Unfortunately, we are beginning at the day after Ally had to collect you from university, after a friend has called her expressing serious concerns over your mental health. She had rushed straight over and bought you home without hesitation.
But you were yet to open up to her.
Ally wanted to give you space, though her maternal instincts were screaming to pull you close and hold you until every problem faded away.
She wanted you to trust her, to come to her in your time.
Perhaps that was a bad idea.
—
It had been another rough evening, though your emotions seemed slightly off. You couldn’t place the difference, but it made you uneasy.
Today had been good. Your mood had lifted a little, and you had even managed some low-effort chores. This kind of day was unfamiliar for you, and often didn’t have the desired effect.
After one day of slight positivity, your depression tended to come back with full force. Like, slap-in-the-face kind of force.
You had convinced yourself that this mood was different, and would last.
Well, sorry to spoil, but it did not.
As you were getting ready for bed, nausea started rising in your throat. The familiar feeling of anxiety shot through your body, not creeping up like usual, but pulsating into every limb in an instance.
This was not going to end well.
“Sweetheart, would you make me a cup of tea?” Ally’s voice called up the stairs.
Shit. You had to pull yourself together quickly, take drastic action to save face in front of your mother.
Swallowing down bile, you took a couple measured breaths and walked down the stairs.
All you had to do was boil the kettle, pour it into mugs and say goodnight to your mama.
Easy, right?
Wrong.
With shaky legs you stepped into the kitchen, filled up the kettle and put it on. Took out two mugs, two teabags, and a teaspoon.
It was then when things began to get hazy.
Your ears were ringing, and the kettle looked like it was floating. Spots took over and a strange grey haze coloured your usually bright kitchen
Something crashed to the ground, and it took you a couple of seconds to realise you had dropped a mug.
The last thing you heard was a distant scream of “Sweetheart?!” before everything faded to black.
—
“Sweetheart? Baby?”
You could hear a faint muttering. Never in your life had you felt so disorientated. Hard floor under your back, a throbbing in your head, and a sharp pain on your arm.
And who was talking?
Squeezing your eyes, you tried with all your energy to force the lids open.
“Baby? Can you hear me?”
A groan that you didn’t even recognise as your own slipped from your mouth. Eyes wandering the surroundings you realised you were on the kitchen floor, with your mother hovering over you.
She’d never looked so terrified in her life. Ally Mayfair did not do scared.
But it was different with you. Her baby.
You couldn’t speak, so just looked at her and made a noise in recognition that you could hear.
“Oh my baby.” Ally let out a huge sigh of relief at this sign.
“Stay down here for a little bit love. I don’t want you collapsing on me again, okay?”
You just blinked, pretty sure that you couldn’t even imagine sitting, let alone standing right now.
Your body felt as if you’d somehow doubled in weight, heavy heavy heavy into the ground. As if you’d break through the grey tiles and fall forever and ever.
“Sweetie.” Ally said in a somber tone, making you look back up at her.
“You were bleeding pretty badly from your wrist. I thought it was from the mug, but when I looked, I could tell it was something different.”
Sure enough, you looked to see your wrist securely bandaged.
Huh.
That must have happened during the panic attack. How weird. You’d never done that without even thinking before.
Maybe that’s why it was worse than normal.
“When did this start again honey?”
Your mother peered down at you with sad brown eyes, tears peeking out from behind eyelids.
Energy was needed for this conversation, and energy was certainly not what you had in that moment.
So, you just made another noise and shrugged, hoping that Ally would sense that you wanted to move away from the subject.
“Alright love.” She squeezed your hand and sighed, looking briefly at her phone.
“You were out for about five minutes, which is not ideal darling. I called an ambulance while you were unconscious. They weren’t too concerned, but a crisis team is going to call us soon. Is that okay baby?”
Tears filled your eyes as your lip wobbled. You had really fucked up this time.
“My baby,” Ally mumbled and gently guided you up into her embrace.
She rocked you back and forth while you sniffled, not even having the energy to form sobs. You sat like that for a couple of minutes until you had quietened down.
“Let’s get you up and comfy sweetheart.” Your mama said.
As desperate as you were to move off the cold, hard floor, your body was still in shock-mode. As Ally carefully pulled you by your hands upwards, your knees buckled, sending you back towards the ground.
“Oh!” Ally gasped, grabbing you as you fell. You both ended up on the floor again.
“Let’s try that again. I can hold your weight darling, you can always lean on me.” Your mother said softly.
You knew this was a double meaning, and made a little smile in recognition. Working together, you and Ally managed to make it into the living room and she laid you on the sofa.
She sat beside you and soft hands stroked your pale face.
“We’ve got this baby. Me and you, against the world. All the bad, that’s staying outside this room. In here, it is us. I’ve got you, sweetheart. Please lean on me.”
And for the first time in a while, you felt a stir of hope in your chest.
“Thank you mama. I love you.”
“I love you baby. You’re my everything.”
Taglist: @sweetestberryofthebunch @dreamypqulson @ahsfan05
(I just tagged people who I knew wanted to read this bc my other taglist is so out of date haha)
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