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[alethianightsong]

My idea for Reanimator 4...

Maybe Dan Cain's adult son goes to find Herbert and gets roped into being his assistant like his father before him. Maybe a neighbor girl comes into the house, sees Herbert being Herbert, and in the struggle, Dan's son knocks her down the stairs and breaks her neck. He BEGS Herbert to reanimate her after calling him a madman. The girl comes back (not insane cuz Herbert used his stabilizer from movie 3) but she's quiet and timid like Frankenstein's bride. Feeling guilty for killing her, Dan's son "adopts" the amnesiac girl and it's only in the 3rd act, does she reveal she was literally playing dumb as a survival tactic the whole time cuz "2 crazy guys just killed me and brought me back to life no way in hell are you not killing me twice if I reveal I remember you were the ones who killed me in the 1st place." Also, Herbert is casually piecing together a new human from stolen body parts which predictably goes wrong but the neighbor girl saves him and Dan's son from the creation so they let her go and she doesn't tell anyone about the few months she spent locked up in some creepy guy's house as his daughter/science experiment. Also also, Herbert gets slight character development as he grows fond of the resurrected girl and they have this cute-creepy grandpa-granddaughter dynamic.

[alethianightsong]

The Crow (1994) is so good and iconic that I keep forgetting that it has 3 other sequels. This new version is just another sequel that'll live in the shadow of the original.

[alethianightsong]

It took Beyonce making a cover of "Blackbird" for me to learn that the Beatles refused to play for segregated audiences-- in the 1960s when that was a big deal. These guys managed to be super-famous in the US even when they rejected one of the US's biggest rules at the time. They risked a paycheck or being blacklisted.

[alethianightsong]

Ranting on "The People Under the Stairs" for no reason

The antagonists are a brutal parody of Ronald and Nancy Reagan. They're a pair of insane, sociopathic incestuous siblings who want to build the perfect nuclear family & have kidnapped and mutilated dozens of boys to do it. Being landlords, they hoard wealth while draining their tenants dry.

Their house, a stand-in for the US, looks perfect and pristine but is full of traps and death. Fool and Roach, who represent the black & white sides of the disenfranchised, are in mortal danger when in the brightly lit halls and are only mildly safe when they hide in the walls, symbolizing how the underprivileged in America have to hide and skulk to survive, denied the right to live safely in the open. Hell, "Daddy" (Ronald Reagan expie) goes on hunting sprees inside the walls, an extreme metaphor for how authorities force their way into minorities' neighborhoods to harass and kill them. Alice, the most privileged of the protagonists being a lil white girl, is still a victim of the system as she gets abused and beaten when she does not play the part of the perfect "daughter."

PS: the antagonists are cannibals. They're the rich who literally eat the poor.

[alethianightsong]

I had this dream where I was in Logan's Run except I've never seen Logan's Run & only know it from pop culture. Anyway, the city I was in was actually the textile factory I work at and one of my coworkers was Steven Yeun who just turned 30 so he was put in this giant glass tube that turned him into psychedelic cartoon smoke while everyone clapped and cheered. Then we went back to work.

[alethianightsong]

How Near Dark should've ended

Caleb is sitting on the cure for vampirism and doesn't bring it up during the climax. How hard would it have been to be like "Hey, Homer, I got the cure for your vampirism. Wanna stop this Peter Pan shit? Just let my little sister go." Homer: "Wait, Jesse, call a truce!" Then the last 15 minutes is Homer getting his blood transfusion while Jesse, Diamondback, and Severen ride off into the sunset cuz they're perfectly content being bloodsuckers. Maybe Mae breaks Caleb's heart cuz she actually likes being immortal despite the distaste of killing. Speaking of her, I got the feeling that she only had a mild crush on Caleb that would've disappeared after a week. Poor Caleb just wanted to laid and got kidnapped by vampiric outlaws instead.

[alethianightsong]

Epic (2013) used Beyonce better than The Lion King remake and they only had her for 10 minutes onscreen.

[alethianightsong]

Thoughts on The Crow(2024)

The director really fucked up by deciding to retell the story of Shelly and Eric. Fans know that the Crow is a legacy character so just tell a different story with different characters while still having the Crow be resurrected. EVERYTHING about this new movie is completely different from the 90s version but some studio exec was like "ayo, you still gotta call the leads Eric & Shelly so the fans recognize them." No, I don't recognize these characters! You shoulda just called them Alice and Brian or something cuz that's not my Eric & Shelly. I hate when writers wanna tell original stories but they gotta use recognizable characters to do it, which leaves a bad taste.

[alethianightsong]

My fan theory after seeing the trailer

Walton Goggins's character was a Ronald Reagan-esque actor who did commercials for Vault-Tec under the impression that he and his family would get a spot in one of the company's vaults. Instead, he was left outside to die and after "ghoulifying," he keeps a chip on his shoulder against Vault-Tec. Maybe he learned that the vaults weren't havens but unethical human experiments, so he turned to drug abuse to numb the pain of knowing he encouraged people to trust the company, shedding his pre-War identity to become the fictional cowboys he always played.

[alethianightsong]

True Knot: "Why is it getting harder and harder to find kids who Shine?"

Me: "You've been eating them for millennia! They never got the chance to grow up and make more Shiny people!"

True Knot: "Hey, a Shiny girl! Let's eat her!"

[alethianightsong]

Put them together and The Road (2009), A Quiet Place (2018), and Bird Box (2018) form a genre I like to call "parenting at the end of the world sucks."

[alethianightsong]

*bolts upright in bed on the cusp of sleep*

Jason Voorhees drowned in a lake. Jason Todd was resurrected in a lake. Jason Voorhees wears a hockey mask and wields a machete. Jason Todd wears a mask and wields knives + guns. Both Jasons went on murderous rampages upon resurrection, killing those who they feel transgressed. Both Jasons have mommy issues that writers kinda forget about.

[alethianightsong]

This gave monsterfucker vibes

[alethianightsong]

I wrote and published my own interpretation of Alice in Wonderland where she's black (cuz I'm black and wanted to see more POC in escapist fantasy). Cover art is terrible but the story is better. It's on Kindle and Amazon

[alethianightsong]

As a kid, I fucking loved Batman and ate up all his cartoons. As an adult, I still love him BUT now I'm hyper-aware that most of his Rogues gallery are villains because of a physical or mental condition. If his villains got proper therapy or surgery early on in life, they'd be pretty decent people. Now they spend their days getting knocked around by a rich kid dressed up as a bat with childhood trauma.