alex-v2-jor

[alex-v2-jor]

how do i know im not making up my pain

Okay so this is the only thing this account exists for , and I'm really desperate as this has been way too draining for me , so this is a really last ditch effort .

So I'm quite young , I won't specyfiy my age , but since I was little I remember geting imensse pain in my joints . Now I need to say , that I don't remember a huge part of my childhood , or remember it very vagely . The pain appeared after staying in the same position for a little too long ( about 10-20 min) , standing for even 10 minutes, walking or any kind of physical activiti . To explain why i didn't tell my parents . I'm autistic and I had hard time understanding that it's wrong and I saw other children whining about long walks or them being tired so I ignored it , I have trouble telling apart pain and discomfort and my parents arent' exactly the "oh you think you might have a deeper issue we will be supportive " it would be really akward . My mom would worry and make my life a living nightmare , cheking up every ten minutes .enabling me -treating like a little (3 years old) child, and taking away all my privacy. And my dad mostly doesn't care but would dissaprove , and they argue quite a lot, so when I was four I realy did think that they have bigger problems than my hurting legs .

To the point . Now im older . Much older and I'm more aware of my feelings and body as the circumstances demand me being aware at least often , and I can't disociate as much as when I was a kid , so I snapped out of the numbnes and now I get worried about the pain .

So with all this why do I get so worried that im making the pain up ?

Few days ago i had three days in a row where i had a problem with just geting through the day and it was bad but it never acted like this . The thing that conserns me is that , I would stop paying attention to it for some time maybe disociate and then as soon as I'm back to reality I remember / feel the pain again . I dont know if I feel the pain after snapping abck into reality and that what reminds me or if I remember that my joints hurt and thats what actually made them hurt again .

I'm afraid that I'm just an attention seeker , and I would like to get medical help and evaluation to see if there is an actual problembut my current situation dosen't allow me to do it .

I hope I'll get some ansers but pleas don't feel obligated I just needed to get this out there , I also apologize for the phrazing , english is not my first language and I'm dyslexic . I'm just tired .

Be safe and take care of yourself , thank you , it'll all be alright 🙂 I’m also sorry for venting

[alex-v2-jor]

Microwaved my popcorn too long and the microwave started smoking and I almost set the house on hire and caused 8 people a smoke inhalation and that was the day before me and my older cousin almost broke my younger cousin’s nose

microwaved my popcorn shwimps too long and they started popping >w<

[alex-v2-jor]

The hahrids hut

Reblog to give Will Treaty a Lego set (extra points if you say which set)

[alex-v2-jor]

Felt like doing something picture book like.

[alex-v2-jor]

[ gets in and play bohemian rhapsody on the car’s speakers ]

[gets in my little clown car]

[alex-v2-jor]

I love my parents I really do but when I finally communicate with them a bit and tell them about my palms for Christmas break the first thing I hear from them is and maybe you’ll study a bit , and I just stopped feeling like I’m about to faint 24/7 and I actually got energy to do something great…

Anyway here is some ra head canons

Halt had a habit of overworking himself but stopped when he took Gilan in

Gilan would start an epic snow ball fight with halt every time even when he stopped being an apprentice

Will loves to dance when he was younger he would sneak out to look at the feast and earn dances and the he danced with girls in the ward as they tough girls how to dance

Allys on the other hand had sneaked out to look at guards training and pick up some fight moves and the teach the rest

[alex-v2-jor]

Will used to be very touch , but after Scandia he stopped. More he would avoid touch thinking that need of affection or someone who will take care of him if needed is a sign of weakness.

Change my mind.

[alex-v2-jor]

Ok so Ftm Halt head canon

Caitlyn and Halt doing different hairstyles on each other but when Halt finally came out Caitlyn was the one to cut his hair and as he had short hairs she couldn’t even do a small braid but he kept doing her hair as they both wanted to keep their little tradition and Halt was so scared of running his relation with his sister

[alex-v2-jor]

What if just what if Will would be like the sunshine character until… there was certain things that would make him snap and like just hit someone or scream and he never does it impulsively it’s scary it’s planned out because he always wants to do it but he has self control

[alex-v2-jor]

I’m so sorry about that 🥺

I hope your day gets better and the best things happen to you forever!!!!

Could be worse

[alex-v2-jor]

Going around at random because I can

Hello! How are you? How’s your day? Anything good happen recently?

Have a great day!

Well great , hi , awful, also awful , no , but thanks

[alex-v2-jor]

So I can’t get this moment of my fan fiction out of my head so here you go ( I’ll describe it because I don’t feel like writing)

So basically Crowley Halt Will and Gillan get thrown into a prison cell together why doesn’t matter just the fact that everyone is just sitting there and discussing what are their options but Will is just sitting there like … until they ask him why he is so quiet and he goes like oh well I was waiting for you to realize that I swiped the key from the guard when he threw us in this shithole and here he raised the key in the question and everyone is like how did you do that and he is like well I grew up in a ward nice one but we can’t sugar coat everything I learned how to fight pick pockets and and open locks like really we had some really bad care takers in there so yeah and he would just play like it’s nothing

[alex-v2-jor]

I have felling that Will would have silent panic attacks while gatherings because of sensory issues and nobody noticed until he just disappeared from the group because he knew that there was a non silent panic attack coming and he didn’t want to bother anyone but Halt followed him and found out about it and comforted him instead of telling him to grow up like he was told the whole life as he was living as an undiagnosed ADHD and or autistic person

[alex-v2-jor]

More RA head canons

Will gets sick very rarely , but when he does he goes through it ten times harder than anyone like cold ? He can barely breathe and speak very high fever and coughs every ten seconds and if it’s something more serious then he will mostly sleep with 40 degrees and be like that’s it I’m dying and first time he got sick even though Halt keept calm he was very worried and Will beeping Will said it’s not that bad and wanted to go like his fine

[alex-v2-jor]

Head canon time !

Will is very good at escaping like whenever he is tied up he will escape almost immediately same with picking locks but he is not stupid so he never reveals that he is free until it useful.

And actually Halt haven’t known till like year 3 when they had a mission and purposely got captured and the plan was to be left tied up in cell then escape but Will escaped before a guard left the cell and improvised nocking him out and then stole his keys freed Halt and they locked the guard in there and yeah he impressed Halt

[alex-v2-jor]

I have this little skit in which Crowley and Gilan come to Halts and Wills cabin in the middle of the night because of urgent mission but Halt doesn’t wake up Will and the three of them are like 1 hour into the mission details when extremely sleepy Will come into the room breathing quickly and just cuddle into Halts chest because he just woke up from a nightmare and needed some comfort and he didn’t care that there is someone else he just needed Halt and he haven’t failed Will Halt just hugged him letting Will cuddle into him and fall asleep peacefully

[alex-v2-jor]

I think that at the beginning of Crowley’s and Halt’s friendship Crowley have realized that Halt has some trauma even though he haven’t told him, but he doesn’t mention it because he doesn’t want to pressure Halt into telling him anything but anytime Halt seemed of he would go in for a hug but would ask him if he can touch him or Crowley found out Halt’s safe food and made it every time he was uncomfortable

But Halt on the other hand had noticed that Crowley is insecure about his nose and freckles and always somehow manages to mention how he likes his appearance and understood that Crowley sees himself as the happy friend the one without problems the one that is always happy and there if you need and he always give other people what he needs so if he came to Halt making sure he is alright and that he knows he is loved Halt thanks him and pull into a hug asking if it’s alright with him and telling him that he is loved to and that he doesn’t need to always be happy and that he can really on Halt and always tell him if he is sad

And they just make each other comfortable