allwonderslost

[allwonderslost]

Understand but do not feel the need to compromise your own mental health. Love and friendship is a two way street and there is nothing wrong with taking a break from someone who leaves you constantly stressed over their wellbeing when you are around them. Yes understand but if they are not attempting therapy or trying to get help in someway such as cbt and you have become their copy mechanism, that is not healthy or helpful for anyone.

Lets not romanticize things

[allwonderslost]

This is all good advice but its important to remember that when you get into therapy your therapist is going to piss you off at some point because you are facing issues that you had for so long. This is especially true if its a recovery process from something like ocd. Your anxiety won't want you to change and its going to go after anyone who tries to do that

How do you (“how does one”) shop for a therapist?

Can you call up a therapist and be like “hi, I’m therapist shopping”? Can you schedule an appointment with a therapist and then be like “actually I have some questions and I want to spend part of this appointment talking about your practice and whether or not it is garbage?”? Are you expected to phone interview/screen your therapists if you are shopping around for a therapist?

If you’re seeing one therapist are you supposed to/not supposed to tell them if you start seeing another therapist? Is it possible to cheat on your therapist?

[allwonderslost]

The 10 Biggest Lies OCD Tells You

By Morgan R.

While working on my obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) in therapy for a little over a year now, one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that OCD loves to lie. Through these sneaky lies, OCD pretends to be a helpful friend who wants to keep us safe. But really, it only manipulates us into doing more and more rituals. When stressed and struggling with an obsession, I’ve found it’s helpful to identify when OCD is trying to tell a lie. Then, I’m more likely to resist doing a ritual or to fight through the discomfort of an exposure. Here are 10 common lies OCD tries to tell…and why you shouldn’t believe them!

1. I have to do rituals to feel safe or keep others safe.

While most people with OCD know their fears are irrational, sometimes in a stressful moment those fears can feel true. At times like this, I try to remember the relief and feelings of safety you feel after doing a compulsion will only be temporary. Doing rituals never makes me feel safe in the long run. Delaying a ritual and sitting with the anxiety is actually what gives me feelings of safety and control.

2. I have to do rituals if I want to feel less anxious.

Because of its cyclical nature, one of the main pitfalls of OCD is that it can grow quickly. Doing a ritual decreases anxiety, which feels really good in the moment, but the relief is only temporary. When the obsession pops up again, we have to do the ritual more and more for our anxiety to go away. With every ritual we do, we continue to learn that ritual equals less anxiety, even though it doesn’t work very well. Exposure and response prevention therapy (ERP) reteaches our brain that if we don’t do a ritual, eventually our anxiety will come down on its own. With every exposure we do, our anxiety comes down faster.

3. This anxiety will last forever.

This lie can feel especially true during an exposure or panic attack, but it’s not only false — it’s impossible. All anxiety will come down eventually. It might soon go back up again, then down, then up, etc., but it will come down. I pinky promise.

4. Just do the ritual one more time. It’s better than trying to resist.

This is one of the lies OCD tells me most often: “One more time!” It’s the same lie music directors and dance teachers always told us in practice, and it’s never true. Giving into the ritual only makes the obsession grow more, which means you’ll have to do the ritual even more times.

5. My thoughts make me dangerous.

Something my therapist told me this week is, “We can’t choose what thoughts we have, but we can choose what we do.” What many people don’t realize is everyone has weird, intrusive thoughts. While most people shrug them off and go about their day, the difference is people with OCD tend to overreact to these thoughts. We feel responsible for our weird thoughts and feel like dangerous people. Because of this, we obsess about the thoughts and engage in rituals to reduce our anxiety, which accidentally makes the thoughts come more often. This lie is simply not true; thoughts are just thoughts.

6. I shouldn’t tell people about my thoughts.

When my OCD tells me my thoughts are dangerous, it also tells me to keep them a secret. We don’t want people to know all the weird thoughts we have. This only makes the thoughts stronger; we fall deeper into the obsession. It also makes it harder to get help. It’s like saying “Voldemort” — you can take some of the power away just by saying it out loud.

7. I should be able to control my thoughts.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could try really hard and just stop having intrusive thoughts? Yes, that would be nice, but I’m sorry to say that’s not the reality. Go ahead and try, I’ll wait. Tired yet? As nice as it would be to have control over our thoughts, I repeat, “We cannot choose what thoughts we have, but we can choose how we react to them.” The more we react to the thought and try to stop thinking about it, the more we think about it. The less we react to a thought and treat it as just a thought, the sooner it passes.

A common way to demonstrate this phenomenon is the pink elephant experiment. Try it yourself here!

8. There is a high probability that something bad will happen.

This is a common lie all anxiety disorders try to tell, but one I’ve tried especially hard to fight back against and test out many times. What I’ve found is usually, it’s not as bad as I expect it to be, or the bad thing doesn’t even happen at all. Quite often when I do an exposure, the anticipatory anxiety is worse than the anxiety I feel when I’m actually doing the exposure. Our brains really like to keep us safe, which means our brains really like to tell us something bad will happen, even when most of the time it doesn’t happen.

9. If something bad does happen, then I won’t be able to cope.

What about when you take the risk or do an exposure, and the bad thing does happen? I also underestimate my ability to cope with something bad. We are far more capable of coping than we usually believe.

10. I need certainty.

OCD related fears come in all shapes and sizes, but one aspect that ties them all together is an intolerance of uncertainty. Whether you check a lock multiple times or reread a page over and over, the goal is to feel certain that the feared outcome won’t happen. The only way to feel free then is to embrace uncertainty. Instead of responding to a “What if?” by ritualizing and desperately trying to achieve certainty, it’s better to respond with “Maybe…” and work on accepting the uncertainty.

[allwonderslost]

personally, nothing makes me feel more like a crazy freak than my intrusive thoughts. they take a physical toll on me. i can’t sleep or eat. they make me hate myself and they make me scared of myself. to see the thing that torments me literally almost everyday reduced to “eat leaf” is horrible and makes me feel so isolated. because if that’s what intrusive thoughts are then what the fuck is wrong with me?

and if i think that as someone who’s almost 20 and knows what actual intrusive thoughts are, i can’t imagine how it must feel being a younger teenager on this site trying to navigate life with mental illness and seeing something that can make you feel like a horror movie villain brought down to the level of “haha monch leaf”.

yall better get educated and knock it off before you start negatively affecting children more than you already do.

people who don’t suffer from intrusive thoughts can reblog ( and should ) but don’t add any stupid, unwanted commentary.

[allwonderslost]

Things to say to someone who has OCD

1 - Don’t say – Oh I’m a bit OCD too, you should see my CD collection.

DO SAY – I don’t actually know that much about OCD, can you tell me a bit more about it.

2 - Don’t say – You’ve not got anything to worry about, you’ve got a great life

DO SAY – I’m sorry that you feel so anxious/worried, what do you think might help and can I do anything? (NB this does not include reassurance for someone with OCD)

3 - Don’t say – I’m sure you didn’t leave the gas on/didn’t hit that person with your car (fill in with whatever the OCD worry might be)

DO SAY –  I know not checking is hard and anxiety provoking so I’m just going to sit here with you/give you a hug to make you feel better. (Always ask 1st - if it’s okay to touch them).

4 - Don’t say – I think you’re giving the anxiety/OCD too much power

DO SAY – Anxiety / OCD are little sneaks and you’re going to kick their ass. I know you’re doing everything you can and I think you’re amazing.

[allwonderslost]

[allwonderslost]

Helpful things to say out loud when dealing with intrusive thoughts and unhealthy compulsions

1. My brain is not trying to punish me. It is trying to protect me, but it has bad information. Am I in pain right now? What can I do about the pain?

2. Everything I am thinking and feeling right now is valid, but NOT everything is true, and none of it is helpful right now.

3. Shame is a natural human emotion. But I don’t HAVE to be ashamed right now, or at any time. If I want to let that go, I can.

4. I feel like  I need to do this thing. But what do I WANT to do? The things I want are important.

5. I can make good decisions and do good work even when I am physically or emotionally uncomfortable.

6. Not every unpleasant thing is a symptom.

7. This is not real, and I don’t have to listen to it.

[allwonderslost]

[allwonderslost]

Learned something interesting in therapy recently. Basically from what ive gathered intrusive thoughts can show up when youre enjoying something because its the exact opposite of that situation.

So if i say peace youd think war.

So in this way if youre doing a compulsion that you think will make you feel safe an instrusive thought could show up then because it is the exact opposite of safety.

It doesnt mean youre a bad person and it doesnt mean they define you.

Its just the opposite and we are creative people

[allwonderslost]

Reminder to any christian(I dont know about other religions sorry) whos religion has become caught up in their compulsions, the only time repeation shows up in prayer is for focus during the rosary.

You dont need to do it till it feels right.

Its okay God heard you the first time and whatever you needed from it Im sure he'll work in whatever way he thinks best.

Its perfectly okay to stop after one go.

Theres nothing to be ashamed of and God will never be upset with you even if you feel like you didnt do it just right.

Its important to know where the prayer stops and the ocd begins, one is your faith the other is your mental illness and for many people it can really damage any peace they find in prayer.

[allwonderslost]

As someone with ocd-no thanks

what if all the scenerios we make up in our head are actually real events happening in an alternative universe and we’re actually connecting with our alternate self’s mind

[allwonderslost]

Fuck your romantic heartbreak that means jackshit to me right now. Plantonic heartbreak. Friendships arent meant to just vanish under you feet. People you plantonically love dont just leave you on the everyday. Wheres the movies about waking up one morning to realising your best friend is an acquaintance. Theres no big break up now we move on oh i still have feelings and oh I dont. Its just realising that theres a word for what you have and its just changed and you didnt even know it was happening. Theres nothing mutual. Its just gone

[allwonderslost]

Im still so angry sometimes i wonder if they should up thr dosage

[allwonderslost]

kinda wish i didnt care anymore

[allwonderslost]

“My problem is that I feel too deeply, too strongly, too much. I feel for people after we’ve only just met, I feel for people long after they leave. That’s probably why I feel so much pain and heartbreak because of those people who never felt anything for me.”

— thoughtsofthedeepeststems

[allwonderslost]

“You have no idea how hard this is”

—

[allwonderslost]

Lol i love how fast good emotions wither and die