ams1501

[ams1501]

[ams1501]

Words to live by.

Once I visited the sea, and there was a chain of memories moving along the shoreline, and that I was thinking about this sandcastle that I built. It didn’t look like a sandcastle at all, because it looked like a home made cake baked by a home based mother. But as I surmised this unfortunate situation, it didn’t matter at all, because in my mind, I knew that it was a sandcastle. In fact it was the exact sandcastle I had in mind. I formed it out of a memory, and a thought that even I could make a sandcastle possible, and I felt exhilarated from the thought of it.

By and by, I thought, the sandcastle will recede, the soil will go back to the sea, forgotten, forever. I wrote my name in the shore under the cold afternoon haze, and as the soil touched my index finger I felt like I could make more of those, but the sea took it. It disappeared when I looked back. It was when I thought that experiencing it was futile. In a sense, It pointed back to memories I had when I did it from an island hundreds of miles away in Bohol where the sea was undisturbed, seemingly untouched by others’ fingers writing their names.

The sea didn’t care about me, I thought, but I kept on drawing, dreaming. It was like drawing a dream, but the dream faded away because the particles of the soil succumbed to the quiet wrath of the waters in the sea. All the memories recede like the soil, forgotten, forever. One can hear the sound of the waves from afar. They are the hands of the sea. They grab those precious ones you keep.

Time will arrive when you would come back and make sandcastles, write your name again, or perhaps dream about a better one. You will get that this impermanence is something that nourishes, rather than destroys. It makes you want to come back because you want to feel your dream. You want it real. Those dreams sometimes lose their hold on you, but sometimes you hold tighter, and will never be losing it to the vast ocean, you will take them back. No matter what it takes.

This is why we return.

Destination, is either where we should go, or where we are destined to. We observe some people get to the destination, and they are incredibly exhilarated because we can see the back of their noses because they might either be crying or laughing with or without tears of joy. Seeing them is a feeling of a divine grace. We can paint in our minds the possibility of our destinations, because our instincts and the incredible human wisdom in us makes it possible to do so. Sometimes, we can not control our path or direction to our destination. If such happens, we can only dream about it, as we are trudging this long, exhaustive, and oftentimes discouraging road we call our direction.

[ams1501]

Just got friendzoned

Yeah. It happened. He was really sweet about that too. Fuck. Why do I fall for people in the first place?

I was never this bothered. Never this troubled by rejection.

Just this time though, things feel different. I feel different. I don't know what I'm feeling. I don't know if I love him. I just wanted to be close to him.

Never going to happen. Nopeee.

It's heartbreaking. I've seen movies and I've read books. I always thought, hey, it's just friendzone, not hate. They will still be a part of your life.

I was so wrong. So naive. Because, it hurts.

It hurts like a bitch and I can do nothing about it. I'm trying to distract myself. I'm trying not to get further attached.

The universe seems to be against me. Nothing is going according to plan. The minute I decide to ignore him, he comes in with the most unexpected of ways and makes me smile and be smitten all over again.

How do I prevent myself from falling into that grave day after day? Each and every time?

I want out. I don't want to stay.

But I want to stay too. I really really like him. I don't want to leave but the rational part of me knows that it's not wise to lurk.

Why is this so hard?

Help! HELP ME!

[ams1501]

I won’t be watching the Bundy Tapes on Netflix.

Instead I will be reading and thinking about Ted Bundy’s victims. I wonder where their movies are. I wonder why their names aren’t raised.

I wonder why we don’t hear about Lynda Ann Healy, a 21 year old psychology major about to graduate that semester. Lynda worked with handicapped children and got up early every day to report on the skiing conditions for local radio.

I wonder why we don’t hear about Debra Kent, a 17 year old aspiring social worker who was known for always having change to feed parking meters for strangers.

I wonder why we don’t hear about Susan Curtis. Susan was only 15 years old and was riding her bike to church that day. She was a star on her high school track team.

In a world filled with kind, beautiful people, I wonder why we all know Ted Bundy’s name. I wonder if that isn’t giving him and people like him exactly what he wanted. And frankly I’m sick of hearing people talk about him.

I’d like to talk about 12 year olds Lynette Culver and Kimberly Leach, neither of whom turned 13 because Ted Bundy stole their innocence and their lives from them. Kimberly had just been elected first runner up “Valentine Queen” by her peers and never got to wear that pretty new dress. Do you think her parents still have that dress, hanging in the back of a closet? I bet they do. I bet her dad sits with it in his darkest moments. You ever thought about him when you hear the name Ted Bundy?

Let’s talk about 19 year old Susan Rancourt, who had a 4.0 GPA. 17 year old Laura Aime. 18 year old Georgeann Hawkins. 23 year old Janice Ott. 26 year old Nancy Wilcox. 23 year old Caryn Campbell. 17 year old Melissa Smith. 19 year old Donna Manson, who was an excellent flute player and by all accounts a bit of a goth. 20 year old Kathy Parks. 22 year old Brenda Ball. 20 year old Lisa Levy. 21 year old Margaret Bowman. 25 year old Denise Oliverson, who had just gotten into a spat with her new husband and had gone for a walk to clear her mind. Denise weighed 105 pounds. She was bound, gagged, raped, mutilated and thrown from a fast moving car. Have you ever considered what HIS life has been like since that day? How many hours of his life do you think have been spent on the floor, clutching the ring he had given her, apologizing into thin air?

These stories are real. These people are REAL.

I get that Ted Bundy was handsome and his eyes were very blue but please. Please stop glamorizing him like this. He ended and ruined lives. Nothing about him is cool or worthy of emulation. Ted Bundy raped, tortured, mutilated and strangled over 30 females, including 12 year old girls. None of his victims weighed more than 115 pounds.

Ted Bundy was a pathetic man.

Emulate Lynda. Emulate Debra. Raise their names and their voices to those around you. Honor them. They were very real people with promising lives and futures stretched ahead of them, stolen.

Please don’t elevate or whitewash this kind of rampant violence against women. I assure you the world is harsh enough for us without a new generation thinking Ted Bundy is a cool, fascinating guy.

Thanks.

[ams1501]

PLEASE BE CAREFUL FOR ANYONE WHO USES “BLUEBUFFALO” FOR THEIR DOGS!!

[ams1501]

Aah the innocence 😂

(via JordanKAdams97)

[ams1501]

Lol so true!

one of the weirdest ways that language is evolving in response to the internet is that “bad words” just. do not have the same impact anymore. i constantly forget that some people think ‘fuck you’ is a terrible insult

so threats and insults have to start getting really out there if the person wants to even mean anything. if a person told me to die i’d shrug it off but if i opened a post’s tags and saw “op i will sneak into your house and replace all your shoelaces with cooked pasta” do you know how shaken i’d be? do you know how upset i’d be if i saw “op is the personification of the look you share w other people in the grocery store when some dude is causing A Scene™ for no reason”

[ams1501]

Life lesson #1

What's the point of butterflies if you can't feel them?

[ams1501]

WOW!

This guy comes in to the ER with chest pain and you won’t believe what happens

Full cardiac workup plus full PMH and PSH. Trop and 2hr trop negative. EKGs show NSR. Turns out they have an inherited disorder that predisposes them to develop blood clots. They take Coumadin, or rather they’re supposed to take it. The significant other rats then out and says the patient stopped taking it.

So naturally they get a CT scan and guess what? Go ahead. You’ll never guess.

The scan reveals a dissected aortic aneurysm. DISSECTED. AORTIC. ANEURYSM.

Oh. But it gets better. Name two things that don’t go well together. Here, I’ll help: dissected aortic aneurysm and Coumadin. Yeah. Bad. Not good. But remember, this patient stopped taking their Coumadin.

I know what you’re thinking: how is this patient living if their aorta dissected? A clot. This patient had a massive clot sitting at the dissected section of the aorta, preventing them from bleeding out.

And they wanted to go home and follow up with their cardiologist on Monday. To which I replied…

We don’t have cardio-thoracic coverage, so we ended up transferring this patient. But, damn, what a hell of a case.

[ams1501]

I support this. And I stand by all the vets because had there been no one to take that responsibility, my pets would have had a clueless human doctor using all kinds of human theories to make them alright and I doubt it could have ended well because I might know how to love my pets but it's the vet who I need in times of crisis because I trust those guys with my pets' life. And I thank them for being there. Being there despite all the hell we put them through.

I can't say I've understood their work in this much depth but from today, I will be more considerate.

“Every Time”

Every time you say vets are money grubbing, or ‘too expensive’ or just in it for the money.

Every time you decline all diagnostics yet demand to know ‘what’s wrong with my pet’

Every time at a social function or other completely inappropriate place you find out that someone is a vet you ask them for free advice about your animal.

Every time you feel justified posting a shitty practice or vet review when everything was done according to the standard of care but your pet died anyway.

Every time YOUR lack of preventative care resulted in your pets early death yet you blame the veterinarian.

Every time she gets in early and stays late and works an 80 hour week because your pet that had been ill for days suddenly becomes an emergency at 5pm on a Friday and you demand to be seen – claiming these heartless vets won’t treat your baby.

Every time someone says ‘why didn’t you become a real doctor?’

Every time someone complains about the cost of veterinary care… comparing human medicine and insurance subsidies to pet ownership (totally voluntary btw).

Every time that someone doesn’t pay their bill and thinks that they are entitled not to because pet ownership is their ‘right’.

Every time someone walks in to a clinic and threatens to ‘sue your ass if you make one mistake with my baby’.

Every time a graduate vet looks at the hundreds of thousands of dollars in crippling debt and listens to clients driving Mercedes and bmws complain about the cost of a spay using good anesthetic care and adequate pain management.

Every time… You are part of the problem.

The problem is suicide in veterinarians. Most of us went to veterinary school because we care. We have a calling to care…. but there is a dark and expensive cost to compassion.

Think before you act or speak.

Author: Tamara Vetro Widenhouse, DVM

[ams1501]

Vespa!

Anyone know about this? So I was reading the book Origin by Dan Brown and I came across a mention of hornets.

I just assumed it was a bird of some sort by because of the context in which the author used it but turns out, it's a wasp! Now I feel painfully dumb but that didn't stop me from researching further.

These hornets are another group of eusocial wasps. (basically bees but with a cooler name. And of course, the colony is reigned by a female super wasp who is very picky about who she has sex with. The lady values her eggs.) These belong to the genera Vespa. Which brings me to the topic of discussion, Vespa!

Yeah, this is what I'm talking about. This scooter is a product of an Italian company called Piaggio and it promises a pleasurable ride. Not that that was what interested me. I'm sure Italy is wonderful in general. With or without the Vespa, if you ask me.

The point which got my attention was the fact that this scooter was named after a wasp! This hornets have yellow, black and red colours on their body and the Vespa happens to come in similar colours, in addition to several other ones I'm sure.

Wow I never thought people would choose wasps to name stuff after. Everyone is always naming things after birds like eagle, raven, phoenix etc etc...or maybe some mammals...now that I think of it, are there any significant arachnids that have been given so much respect?

I can't think of any! Can you?

Also, now I can only think of this.

[ams1501]

So goddamn fascinating!!!

Okay, you need to make sure you play this game at some point. Maybe not today or anything, because you’ll need about thirty minutes and a serious willingness to understand how it works, but - it’s so worth it. It’s basically an answer to our occasional frustration - why do assholes always come out on top? - and the beautiful thing about it is that not only does it explain how that happens, but also how we can change it.

“In the short run, the game defines the players. But in the long run, it’s us players who define the game.”

[ams1501]

That

How do kisses actually feel?

Reblog if you’ve got 1001 OTPs and root for them to kiss every second and read about prolly a hundred kisses per day in fanfiction and live for the ones that make your heart skip but have never been kissed yourself

(and consequently wondered if maybe saliva exchange wouldn’t be gross)

[ams1501]

Not just another rendition of love

Love songs, love songs and more love songs. Ever since the day I cried my way out into this world and to this day, there have been countless releases of love or rather romantic songs. Some delivered in a bundle of cacophonic notes I’ll never understand, and some that are so melodious that they deserve to be called evergreen. I’ve heard love songs in plenty of languages.

Sometimes, I find myself so bewitched by the songs that my mind ends up straddling the fringe of reality. It’s astonishing how a song and it’s words can affect one’s psyche to such an extent.

One such song that comes to mind is a Hindi (The national language of India) one and I’d love to translate it for anyone who wants to share the experience with me.

It is called Main Rahoon ya Na Rahoon which literally means, “whether I stay or I don’t”.

Before I jump to the translation, I’ll give you a bit of context. This isn’t the premise of the song but how a scene I associate it with.

The guy and the girl are in love with each other and the only way they express it is through their gestures. The girl happens to be a married woman who’s family situation is complex. Her husband has been missing since a couple of years and bound by tradition, the girl waits for him. The man she now falls in love with takes immense care of her and goes to great lengths to prove that life is worth living. One day, he drives across a meadow that exudes the same scent that brought him close to this woman and he goes out into the field unbeknownst to the fact that landmines were installed throughout it. Before realisation dawns upon him, he’s in too deep and just as the picture he clicks of the meadow gets sent to her, he closes his eyes, smiles and pictures her face, just as the mine blows up.

Here are the lyrics:

Main rahoon ya na rahoon

Tum mujh mein kahi baki rehna

Mujhe neend aaye jo aakhiri

Tum khwabon mein aate rehna

The guy says to the love of his life, “Whether I stay (alive) or I don’t, you’ll always be a part of me. In the last sleep I ever get, your vivid thoughts will adorn my dreams.

Bas itna hai tum se kehna (x4)

That is all I have to say to you.

Kissi roz baarish jo aaye

Samajh lena boondon mein main hu

Subah dhoop tumko sataye

Samaj lena kirno mein main hu (x2)

If any day, it were to rain, imagine me to be the drops that gently grace your face. If the sun rays play with you in the mornings and wake you up, know that it’s me in those warm rays.

Kuch kahu ya na kahu 

Tum mujhko sada sunte rehna

Whether I say anything or not, listen out for me.

Bas itna hai tum se kehna (x4)

That is all I have to say to you.

Hawao mein lipta hua main

Guzar jaunga tumko chhu ke

Agar mann ho toh rok lena

Tehar jaunga inn labo pe (x2)

Entwined in the winds, I’ll pass as the breeze that touches you. If you want, just stop me and I’ll stay, right there on your lips.

Main dikhu ya na dikhu

Tum mujhko mehsoos karna

Whether you see me or not, feel for my presence.

Bas itna hai tum se kehna (x4)

That is all I have to say to you.

I can’t believe I’m tearing up even after describing this song for what may be the hundredth time.

PS. the scene I described is from the movie humaari adhuri Kahaani and for some reason, I associate this song with that scene. The original song used in the movie is a completely different one and even that is a marvel in itself. I’ll save that for a later post.

[ams1501]

Hnh. That's one perspective.

[ams1501]

Hahahahaha

valentines day for nerds pt.2 (pt.1)

[ams1501]

Didn't see that coming!

Why do cows have hoofs instead of feet

Because they lactose