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the static speaks your name

can anyone just go and give Lu Guang a hug real quick? I just honestly don't know what else to do with this kid.

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The Murderbot Diaries are so good because they ask big questions like "what if a machine wanted autonomy but didn't want to be treated like a human" and "what if your co-workers kept trying to talk to you about your feelings".

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may '25 writing updates

words written: 11.5k

most words written in a day: 2,118

least words written in a day: 0

yearly total: 70.8k

projects worked on:

ya sci-fi book revision planning

bsd regency au

tiny bit of space dads book planning

fics published/updated:

none

may goals:

finish revisions checklist for ya sci-fi book

go back to actually working on ya sci-fi book revisions…?

reach out to my mentor since i haven’t done that in like three months oops

finish a draft of ch 4 of bsd regency fic

finish editing & post ch 17 of altea rising

work on matchablossom fic again perhaps??

apply to writer-in-residence program??

june goals:

work on ya sci-fi book revisions again... try to get through uhh idk chapter 10? (i am probably being way too optimistic lol)

apply to writing residency

send the rest of ya sci-fi book to my critique group

keep working on ch 4 of bsd regency

work on matchablossom fic

continue editing altea rising ch 17 if i have time?

notes:

mannnn i was not nearly as productive in may as i'd hoped. :( i was mostly focused on doing a ton of revision planning for ya sci-fi book but got very little Actual Writing done. buuut progress is progress i suppose.

original writing updates:

as i said above, a majority of my work during may was doing revision planning for ya sci-fi book. i wrote like 10k of notes about things i want to update in the next draft. 💀 on the bright side i did finish the revisions outline/checklist so yay! on the not so bright side i have so many revisions to do that it's making my head spin and i have no fucking clue how i will do them all. but, i will try lmao.

i contacted my mentor again since i had not done that in ages. i sent him some more pages and he returned them with notes that were.... humbling lollll. but i'm hoping to implement his notes soon!

i want to send the rest of ya sci-fi book to my critique group since i have been sitting on it for a while.... i'm nervous since i'm lowkey worried the whole book is just Broken (esp the last quarter of it or so) but uhhh my hope is that sharing it with others will make me more motivated to finish editing it?? maybe???

i plan to apply to a writing residency which i know i mentioned last month, however i'm an idiot and procrastinated it until now aaaand the application is due in 5 days. sooo i will need to write a 5-page book proposal before then ha oh boy wish me luck.

i did i tiny bit of planning for space dads book but i really mean a tiny bit like... mostly just read over the notes i'd written so far and added a few details here and there, but that's about it.

fic updates:

really not very much 😔 i only wrote about 1k of bsd regency au which i'm bummed about since i was really hoping to make a dent in chapter 4. i was kinda struggling through a certain scene, but i think i'm past the most difficult part so hopefully i can really get back into it now ???

i keep wanting to return to my matchablossom fic, especially after i finished rewatching sk8 + watched the ova. so, maybe i will try to make some progress on that!

i have really been neglecting editing/posting things from my backlog... i should probably finish editing ch 17 of altea rising and post that, but not sure if i will have time this month. maybe though!!

arrrgghh so yeah generally feel like i'm in a huge writing slump currently and i'm frustrated about it. i've been weighed down with a lot of self-doubts recently and it sucks. 😭 june is also going to be insanely busy for me so i'm not sure i will get as much writing done, buuut i will try!

also happy pride month!!! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

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actually fucking insane of vessel to name an album after a state of mental confusion, restlessness, and agitation that occurs in the evening for people with delirium and dementia and start it off with "the night comes down like heaven". welcoming the agony. welcoming the mental distress. saying that the night, when those symptoms are the worse, comes down like heaven, like paradise. i need to fight him. don't even get me started on "and you remember everything only till the sun recedes once again". i am Unwell

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characters who are undead. characters who die in the end and so they've been dead from the start. characters who are chased by death. characters that chase death. characters who died and came back to life. characters that die again and again and again. characters who consider their past self dead. characters who were born in someone else's corpse. characters that claw their way out of the grave. characters whose deaths leave such a gaping wound that even their absence is still a presence. characters who are emissaries of death. characters who are alive but consider themselves dead. characters whose deaths are ambiguous. characters whose existences are defined by death.

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had to draw my meowmeow Till from alien stage... ^w^

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Link Click sketch😢❤️I love them...

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You have my gun

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MAY THE FOURTH BE WITH YOU!!!! Created by George Lucas in/sp

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april '25 writing updates

words written: 10.5k

most words written in a day: 1,570

least words written in a day: 0

yearly total: 67k

projects worked on:

ya sci-fi book edits / revision planning

bsd regency au

editing ch 17 of altea rising

fics published/updated:

none

april goals:

finish ya sci-fi ch 3 edits

finish a draft of bsd regency chapter 3, and start chapter 4

finish editing & post chapter 17 of altea rising

work on matchablossom fic… finish a draft?

work a bit on arctic monster wip?

may goals:

finish revisions checklist for ya sci-fi book

go back to actually working on ya sci-fi book revisions...?

reach out to my mentor since i haven't done that in like three months oops

finish a draft of ch 4 of bsd regency fic

finish editing & post ch 17 of altea rising

work on matchablossom fic again perhaps??

apply to writer-in-residence program??

notes:

oof this month really got away from me. i mean, all things considered, i still made good progress. but... yeah, i got extremely depressed a couple weeks ago (nothing super serious lol i'm just a sensitive baby) and that really impacted my ability to write at all. but i feel a bit better now so i'm trying to get back to my various projects yaaaay.

original writing updates:

did a tiny bit of ya sci-fi book edits

worked on my big ol' revisions checklist for ya sci-fi book... basically trying to compile a list of changes i want to make based on all the feedback i've received so far. and...hooo boyyy it's a lot. but i think it will help me in the long-run, so i'm hoping to finish the list within the next couple weeks.

i hope to also really delve back into revisions since i've been neglecting that... and i made a sort of soft deadline for myself to finish this round of revisions by october.

fic updates:

wrote about 5.7k words of bsd regency fic! i think the whole thing is roughly ~35k right now so uhhh yeah. i am not even halfway through it yet, so i suspect it may exceed my estimation of being ~80k long LOL FUCK but it's ok bc i am genuinely having such a good time writing it. i finished a draft of chapter 3 in april and hope to finish chapter 4 in may. that will be the halfway point so i may start posting it in june...? we shall see haha.

worked a little on altea rising ch 17 edits... i'm almost at the end of the chapter, so i'm hoping i can finish that up and post it soon!

didn't get back to the matchablossom bedsharing fic as i'd hoped, but maybe i will this month?? I MISS THEMMM.

wellll i think that's all for now!! kinda fell off track the past few weeks but determined to get more done this month yippeeee 🫶

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『 𝕱𝖔𝖗𝖌𝖊𝖙 𝕸𝖊 𝕹𝖔𝖙 』

ɪ'ᴠᴇ ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴡᴀᴋɪɴɢ ᴜᴘ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀ ʙʟᴀᴅᴇꜱ, ʙʟᴜᴇ ʙʟᴏꜱꜱᴏᴍ ᴅᴀʏꜱ

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you ever listen to a song 47 times in a row and every time you’re like wow what a good song. I’m gonna play it again.

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Princess Mononoke (1997) dir. Hayao Miyazaki

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why are time loops always only like 1 day long?

the real horror is a months or years long time loop. no speedrunning your torture here. you have to sit with the consequences of your actions for a loooong time before the release of knowing the consequences and actions have been erased.

but oh, all the actions and consequences are gone. those relationships you built? empty. you can never build them again without the constant guilt of knowing that it's not as real the second, third, thirtieth time when you already know all their secrets and they none of yours.

but you can't hide. you can't isolate yourself because what if this is the time the loop breaks and then what? years gone by of missed chances with people who have changed you a thousand times and now circumstances have changed. you can never build back what was washed away by your own inaction. they'll never be able to meet you like they did the first time if you don't choose to meet them the first time every time

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like caramel

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Happy CXS day! 🌼