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Mitsuhide: Someone broke the table.

Zen: You have no proof I did it.

Mitsuhide:

Zen:

Mitsuhide:

Zen: Shirayuki stubbed her toe. I had to take revenge.

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"Don't fuck with me! I have the power of god and anime on my side!"

-Obi (probably)

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Zen: I'm an idiot.

Izana:

Zen:

Izana: If you're waiting for me to disagree, then it's gonna be a long night.

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Obi: Come on! You know you wanna ask me out.

Zen: You're right.

Zen: Get out.

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Haruka: Excuse me, I have to go make a scene.

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Zen: Can you pass the salt?

Kiki: Can you do your paperwork?

Zen, mumbling: Too much salt

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Akagami no Shirayukihime Episode 2:

Zen: DO NOT SPEAK HER NAME!

Mihaya: Calm down! Are you her father or something?

Zen: no but she calls me daddy

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Shirayuki: You're sick, your temperature is 104.1!

Obi: If I was sick, could I do this?

Obi: *Staring at Shirayuki*

Shirayuki: What are you doing?

Obi: ...Cartwheels. Am I not doing them?

Shirayuki, softly: No

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we hit 420 followers but i was too late so now we're on 421

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Shirayuki: Do you want some leftovers?

Obi: What are those?

Shirayuki: You don’t know what leftovers are?

Obi: No.

Obi: Because I’m not a quitter

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Zen: Are you a big spoon or a little spoon?

Obi: I’m a knife.

Shirayuki, from across the room: He’s a little spoon.

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Ryuu: I need an adult

Obi: I’m an adult

Ryuu: I need a different adult

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Zen: I'm like a star, shiny from afar but kinda fucked up when you get close.

Izana: I'm like a star, beautiful from afar and hot when you get close.

Obi: I'm a fucking black hole.

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Mitsuhide: So what are you doing for Valentines Day?

Zen: Oh, the usual. Obi and I go to the drugstore and buy up all the Valentine’s Day cards, and then we watch the forgetful husbands panic.

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Shirayuki: Hey Obi, what’s up?

Obi: I’m sitting in a pool of blood

Shirayuki: Is it… your blood?

Obi: Yeah, I think so

Shirayuki: Do you know where it’s coming from?

Obi: Probably the stab wound

Shirayuki: YOU’VE BEEN STABBED?!

Obi: Oh, yeah, definitely.

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Mitsuhide: What are Zen and Obi arguing about this time?

Shirayuki: They have a bet going about what Kiki's like in bed. Obi thinks she's secretly really kinky but Zen thinks she's too romantic.

Mitsuhide: Yeah, she's actually both.

Shirayuki:

Mitsuhide:

Mitsuhide: I mean... How would I know? I don't know what Kiki's like in bed.

Mitsuhide: But I would assume she's both.

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Obi, getting ready to leave: I have to go.

Shirayuki: Aren’t you forgetting something?

Obi: *Looks confused, bends down and kisses Shirayuki's forehead, then runs out*

Shirayuki: No! Pay your bill! Damn, who raised you?