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[anxious-glow]

2024.03.30.

Took my cat to the vet because she had diarrhea multiple times today. Me and my bf wanted to to wait to go to the vet after we built trust eith our newly adopted cat. But her bowel movement was concerning. She was so mad when we pit her in the carry-on bag. The vet prescribed basic diarrhea medication and probiotics and special kibble samples to help with her digestion. She gave a bunch of instructions and answered many of my questions. There was a lot of information going on that I had to take notes. I also asked if my cat was fat- the vet said she was chubby but not at a concerning level.

I felt bad after forcing a pill down her throat. But we had to. Hopefully she gets better soon. Even though she growled when we gave her medication she didn’t scratch or try to attack us. She’s sweet.

[anxious-glow]

2034.03.29.

Finally, Friday!

I felt happy that day so I put on makeup to work for the first since the first week I started working. The morning was very relaxed, I had no work to do(which is rare) so I looked up online courses with credit so i can apply for grad school.

One of my colleagues left the company today. She didn’t tell anyone until today. Everyone was surprised so now I have to take on her work. She must be so relieved to leave the company. She left for personal reasons, I think it had something to do with her family in the US. This is the 3rd time seeing a colleague leave.

[anxious-glow]

2024.03.28.

Stayed at the office as usual to support a project. My colleague who is assisting felt totally slammed and lost with the project so me and the intern were worried when our senior colleague was discussing it with her. She felt frustrated and lost and is probably why she suddenly said, “why are you dumping all the work on me” when I said that I’ve finished and that I would send her the file. I was confused because I finished my part and all that was left was hers. She eventually apologized after realizing that my part was finished and seeing me bark at her. I ended up staying late to help her finish her part which she said that she would do.

On another note, my cat is so playful and cute.

[anxious-glow]

2024.03.27.

I feel like a boring person. My senior at work is so fun to be with and always makes people laugh. Today we went to a client to present our proposal. I was afraid I was boring her during the walk to and from the client. My persona at work is different from that of when I’m with my friends. Which, I think, is normal. I have always struggled to be more cheerful at work but it just doesn’t happen naturally.

[anxious-glow]

2024.03.26.

My whole world is about cats now. My bf is like a mom to a new born. He keeps texting me about how he’s worried about her teeth and how we should buy dental snacks and another litter box because she keeps pooping on the floor even though she already one.

On other matters, I’m getting used to goinf to work. It feels different from my past jobs because I don’t dread waking up and I don’t think about quitting even though I am always nervous. I don’t know if I’ve become accustomed to being a slave to capitalists or I have learned to come to terms with being an office slave. Either way, I feel a little bit at peace.

[anxious-glow]

Hi! English is my second language too and I didn't know earlier but *costed is not a word, the past tense of "cost" is also "cost".

ooohh I didn’t know! Thank you for telling me!🤓

[anxious-glow]

your cat is so cute! You may have to update her shots a little later, so make syre you budget for that. My city makes us get rabies shots every few years, for example. & also have a little set aside in case there is a medical emergency. I hope she brings lots of you to your life :)

Thank you!! I love having her around. She is so cute and fascinating ♥️

[anxious-glow]

2024.03.25.

I really wanted to go gome early today to see my cat since I just got her yesterday. I had to stay back for an hour and a half but then my senior went easy on me and told me told me to leave. I wanted to keep my cat a secret but I couldnt hold it so I told everyone. They all thought that she was cute.

[anxious-glow]

2024.03.24.

We adopted a cat.

We got her at the adoption center. She’s a British Short hair and she’s 6 years old. She met all our standards because she was neutered and vaccinated. She looks the like the white tiger from Kung Fu Panda. She’s pretty. We have to wait for her to adjust to her new home and warm up to us.

I was not too excited about getting her because my heart felt heavy with responsibility. Getting her initial supplied costed around 70,000 Won. She costed 200,000. So if I solit the costs with my bf she costed 135,000 for the initial supplies. From now on it will cost maybe 30,000 each month for food and litter sand. It is cheaper than I thought. Even my friends with cats said that it was quite cheap.

I really hope I can take care of her.

[anxious-glow]

2024.03.23.

Went to the zoo today with my bf. For a free zoo it had many animals and it was well maintained. The animals were active because it spring. I even saw an elephant kick abother elephant in the face then I saw monkeys roll around. I realized that the zebra I saw today was the zebra that escaped and roamed around Seoul last year. It was Sero! It was such a coincidence that I saw her exactly one year after she escaped. It was such a beautiful and warm day. We should go out more often, I don’t want to be cooped up in the offcie all week just to stay at home the whole weekend.

We went to take a look at the adoption center to get a cat. We have been talking about it for months and I’ve been dreaming about it for years. I am nervous about the responsibility that follows and worried about the money it will cost because I just started my job and I have debt to pay back and online courses to take for grad school. I’m not so confident about getting a cat.

[anxious-glow]

2024.03.22.

Absolutely relieved that it’s Friday and my project is done. There wasn’t too much work to do because my next project wasn’t even announced yet so I took my time with the proposal. I had to help out my colleague with her project which was so difficult because I didn’t understand anything about radiation. She has such a difficult project. I was so glad that it wasn’t my project. Then I happily went home early!

[anxious-glow]

2024.03.21.

Finally Thursday! I finish the project today and tomorrow will be less stressful. I didn’t stay too late today and left maybe an hour later. I dont know why they only assigned 2 people to this project. But I’m glad I was with a particular senior because she has been with the company the longest and she’s known to do a good job.

[anxious-glow]

2024.03.20.

As expected, I stayed late at the office. I had dinner with everyone because I knew I was going to be there late anyways and I can’t finish work without guidance from my senior. Everyone seemed to like me even though I didn’t like them. They like that I’m nervous and stiff because they think I’m submitting to them. People are so insecure they need other people to be uncomfortable so that they feel powerful.

[anxious-glow]

2024.03.19.

Worked on a new project and went home early. My senior told me to go home early today because I might have to stay late for the next 2 days. I was relieved and afraid at the same time. But atleast I know when I’m going to stay late so I can have peace of mind.

[anxious-glow]

2034.03.18.

I dread Mondays.

I am so afraid of what’s going to happen. It’s not a matter of if I work overtime, it’s how long I am going to work overtime. We all went out to eat lunch on the company’s card. We had great barbeque and got to knwo about the new hire.

My boss asked me what kind of person I was in school and whether I was a ‘curious’ person. I flinched because I suspected he was insinuating what had happened last time with him. If that is the case then I cannot believe he is still holding on to that. What does he want to achieve? He then started asking if I got good grades which I did, then he said that he knew someone with great grades but she ended up not doing so well. What the hell is that supposed to mean? That I won’t be successful? Is it bad to have a good grades now? Now I know what ‘haters gonna hate’ means.

[anxious-glow]

2024.03.17.

Got some house plants with my boyfriend to bring some life into the house. I got a nice white orchid. I definitely want a bunch more of them.

I went out again to see another friend and buy him dinner to celebrate my new job. Even though my job is killing me. He’s great to talk to, he’s so sweet and so well mannered. I have a lot to learn from him.

[anxious-glow]

2024.03.16.

Had a slow morning and did some chores that I wasn’t able to do during the weekday. Then I went out to Itaewon to meet up with a highschool friend. She took me to a cool bar where you can play arcade games and just hang out. It was my first time being at a place like that with a person like her. She showed me a side of going out that I haven’t known. It was like going to the dark side. I can’t stand that I didn’t know about these places in my early twenties. I wasted my youth. She changed my mind about party people because she was so sweet and nice to me the entire time.