anxiouswildfire

[anxiouswildfire]

Art for @theladyragnell ‘s fic from so many years ago that I love so much <3

[anxiouswildfire]

pastor: the first day..

me: OF SPRING IS FINALLY HERE!!

pastor: .. of the week

me: oh

[anxiouswildfire]

Just gonna…

Drop this here

https://archiveofourown.org/works/63910594/chapters/163917058

Y’all… I just watched Dead Poets Society..

Okay but merlin Inspired by dead poets society with Arthur as Neil Perry, and Merlin as Todd

And here me out here, Merlin is also Mr keating (with some Leon cameos)

Arthur wants to be a good king, but uther wants him to be a “powerful” king

Uther threatens to give his crownship to Morgana all the time

Arthur disobeys him (goes to lower town a lot, goes on trips, talk to Druids, doesn’t kill magic users, etc)

Merlin has some sort of wisdom to share. So does Leon.

Arthur feels trapped. He feels like Morgana could be a better monarch than him.

It all comes to a head when Uther finds out about something he did/didn’t do.

For example, arthur lets a Druids camp go free with the promise of better times, a smaller knight sees this and reports to the king.

Arthur feels like he’s useless and puts his crown down on the table, stares at the Prince’s crown. Does he deserve this power? Is he even better than his father? Morgana is all that he is and more..

And now I have to write it for you to find out what happens but this has been in my head

[anxiouswildfire]

Happy trans day of visibility

[anxiouswildfire]

@lunasky2491 ‘s suggestion from a while ago

Hunith comes to Camelot in an au where merlin doesn’t visit her or write often. She doesn’t know much, since he doesn’t share a lot about his life.

Hunith Ambrosius sighed, head in her hands as she thought about her son. Hunith was the sort to worry. A lot. It had been many years since Merlin went off to work under Gaius. They used to be close, but nowadays Merlin seemed to rarely have time to write his own mother.

She looked over the last letter he wrote, dated back many months, and decided to make the journey to Camelot.

Dearest mum,

Hunith walked through many different towns making her way to Camelot.

I’m sorry it’s been a bit. I’ve been quite busy with his royal highness’ needs. He broke his arm last week and had been complaining ever since. When can I get a break?

She finally arrived many days later, in awe of the towering city.

Life has been good. Gaius is sticking to his ‘merlin goes to the tavern’ excuse whenever I’m needed, even though I’m literally doing important things and have rarely been to the tavern.

She made her way through the bustling loud streets to Gaius, figuring his apprentice wouldn’t be far.

Don’t worry about my little secret, I only do it when absolutely necessary

She quickly asked a passerby about the whereabouts of Gaius’ chambers. They pointed her in the right direction.

Ugh, boss wants me back now. I’m busy every second of the day I swear, but it’s actually fun in Camelot.

Hunith knocked on Gaius’ door. The man answered the door and gaped in surprise.

Miss you loads,

Merlin

Gaius hugged her. “Oh, Hunith.”

“Hello, old friend.” She smiled warmly at him.

“Merlin is still with Prince Arthur.”

“Is something wrong with him?”

Gaius raised his eyebrow, “which one?”

“Prince Arthur. Is he okay?”

“Yes of course-“ Gaius stopped. “Did you not know that Merlin is Arthur’s manservant?”

“What?”

“You didn’t know?”

“No, that boy never tells me anything! Wow! I’m so proud of him! Climbing the ranks.. oh I wish he told me more.” She considered. “The letters mentioning quests for the Prince makes more sense now. I thought he meant it in a metaphorical way.”

“He saved Arthur’s life.”

“Oh, my boy!” She smiled. Then hesitated.

“No one knows about his magic, don’t worry.”

Her eyes widened. “You know?”

“Let’s just say.. he wasn’t very careful in the early days.”

“Gaius!” Merlin walked into the room, then stopped at the sight of his mom. “Mum!”

“My baby!” She rushed towards him and gave him a hug.

Gaius left to give them some privacy

Merlin’s eyes filled with tears. “Oh mum..”

“Merlin, why didn’t you tell me you were the prince’s manservant!”

He blinked, “I thought I did. Did you not wonder why I hung around the prat so often?”

“I thought he was very injury prone.” She said, frowning at the insult.

“He does get into danger more than I’d like..” Merlin muttered. “But no, he’s my friend and my master.”

“Well I’m very impressed that you climbed the ranks-“

“No mum, I just got the job because I saved his life. I’m a terrible manservant.”

“How long have you been his servant?”

“Since the first day I came to Camelot, mum.”

She gasped. “Merlin! How did I not know this?”

“What were you thinking when I’d insult him all the time?”

“I thought he was rude to you when you treated him.”

“I mean he is rude but-“

“Merlin, don’t call the prince rude!”

“Merlin!” Arthur called “Merlin, where are you, you lazy prat!” He noticed hunith had then merlin shortly after. “Oh, hello.” He bowed his head slightly in greeting.“Merlin, who’s this?”

“This is my mum, hunith.”

“Nice to meet you, hunith.”

Hunith smiled. “Hello, Prince Arthur.” She bowed.

“I don’t know where you get your rudeness from because it isn’t from her!”

“I know exactly where you got your rudeness from.” Merlin muttered

“Merlin! Don’t insult your king!”

Merlin rolled his eyes.

“Sorry about my son, my lord”

“Oh no, hunith, it’s alright, Merlin’s like this with everyone. Well especially with me..”

“Stop sucking up to my mom and tell me what chores you have for me so I can get out of your presence as soon as humanly possible!”

Arthur rolled his eyes, “Mordred suggested we all have an extra training session. You need to help me with my armour.”

Merlin glowered with genuine hatred. “Oh of course it’s mordred.”

“I still don’t get what you have against sir mordred.”

“‘Sir’ mordred more like sir murder. I’m going to kill that man someday. Maybe suffocate him in his sleep sometime..” Merlin muttered quietly.

“What?”

“Nothing. I’ll help you in a second after I get my mum settled.”

“I don’t have all day, Merlin.”

“I don’t have all day merlin” Merlin mocked as Arthur left

“Merlin, my baby, why do you not show him you care in more… conventional ways?”

Merlin sighed heavily like he was exhausted. “His head would get too big.” He said simply.

“I think we all would like to have a little love shown in more obvious ways.”

Merlin smiled at her softly, “I love you, mama.”

“I love you too, merlin. But you know that’s not what I meant.”

“.. i know.”

“You don’t want to keep him waiting.”

“I would like to keep him waiting actually”

“Don’t you ever worry about getting fired?”

“Oh getting fired.. that would be a sweet break.”

Hunith laughed, a little confused.

“I’m serious, I'm so tired.” He said with a straight face

Hunith stopped laughing

Merlin started laughing

Hunith smiled with uncertainty.

“No but to be honest, protecting that man from.. special assassins is a full time job. Plus my regular job of being his servant, PLUS a physician’s apprentice? It’s a lot.”

“That does sound like a lot, baby.”

“But it’s fine, I’m good.”

“Are you? You seem tired. You’re his friend, does he know?”

“No, but I’m alright.”

“Maybe you should tell-“

“No way. I’m not losing my best friend and possibly my life.“

“You think he’d kill you?”

“I don’t know but his father definitely would and I can’t make him choose between him and his father.”

“That’s not your choice to make, honey.”

“It’s my life!”

“You’re alone, my boy.”

“I’m.. not. I have Gwen, my friend. I have arthur. I have Gaius. I have other friends..”

“And I’m guessing only Gaius knows?”

“Well, yes, but-“

“I don’t think Gaius is the most understanding. Do you ever talk to him about how much pressure you have on your shoulders?”

Merlin sighed, tearing up. “How did you notice?”

“Just from you talking, baby, you’re so exhausted. I know you. Even though I barely truly know you now, I know my boy.”

Merlin hugged his mother. “Thank you for listening, mama. I do actually have to go before Arthur tries finding me again.”

“Okay, just think about what I had to say.”

“Thank you!” He shouted as he ran away out the door.

Hunith sighed heavily, knowing her son would not be talking to anyone about his troubles.

Gaius came back in.

“Oh, Gaius.”

“What is it hunith?” He closed the door and looked at her, worried.

Hunith teared up. “My boy, he’s under so much pressure.”

“Oh yes.. right that.”

“Gaius, there must be some way to help him!”

He sighed heavily. “I don’t know, hunith. It’s bigger than us.”

“Bigger than us?”

After some tea and cookies, the whole destiny thing was explained. How Arthur and Merlin were two sides of the same coin, Destinies intertwined, the once and future king and emrys meant to bring back magic to Avalon.

Merlin came back. “I asked for a day off.” He said as he walked into the room, immediately chattering up a storm, “Arthur said he’d think about it which basically means no but like I feel like it’s only because he’d miss me, he doesn’t really need me as a servant, he just likes having me around. Though that is helpful in keeping him alive.“

His two guardians exchanged knowing looks.

“Merlin, are you in love with Prince Arthur?”

“Hunith!” Gaius chastised for asking so outright.

“I’m.. what? In love? With Arthur?” Merlin laughed. “If I was in love with Arthur I would-“ he stopped. “Nevermind, um.”

Hunith smiled knowingly.

That’s all for now. Thanks for reading!

[anxiouswildfire]

2025 and im still not over her

[anxiouswildfire]

I love living with a bunch of people who love the musical as much as me <3 (if you know where I live, no you don’t)

A little bit obsessed with the Canadian Clockmakers daughter after seeing it today. Don’t talk to me I’m singing impossible 🎶

[anxiouswildfire]

A little bit obsessed with the Canadian Clockmakers daughter after seeing it today. Don’t talk to me I’m singing impossible 🎶

[anxiouswildfire]

this is a Ma Riley hate account

[anxiouswildfire]

Miraculous ladybug au: Clockmakers daughter

Just some brainstorming:

Non-superhero au

Ma Riley or Abraham is Gabriel agreste

Will and Constance is Mari and Adrien but which is which? Constance is a seamstress, but also a creation (like sentimonster Adrien somewhat) both are important to her character. Will has a mother who tries to kill his love (like Adrien). Constance is stuck in the house (like Adrien)

Alya is Amelia if Mari is Constance bc their best friend ness is important.

But to change it to be like the ending of miraclous, adrien doesn’t die, his father does and a statue is put up in his honour

[anxiouswildfire]

Lupin’s Library

Remus has to go to the hospital maybe and gets a friend of James’(Sirius) to house sit.

Sirius who’s already wealthy, is in between jobs at the moment and takes it as something to do, despite the ridiculously low amount (maybe even zero pounds) that Remus is willing to pay.

Sirius, who’s not that much a fan of reading, decided to read a few books in the month time he ends up staying there.

The first book is good, and the annotations are funny and endearing. The mugs of tea warm in their cute little containers.

The second book is devastating and all the more captivating. Why does this man who’s been in the hospital for a week now relate to this tale of woe? Why is he even in the hospital? Why won’t James tell Sirius anything?

The third book is just to satisfy his curiosity about this soft man who he sent a text to at 4 in the morning, 10 days since he started living in his house.

Remus barely answers the texts, slipping in and out of consciousness for the first two weeks.

Sirius starts consuming books at breakneck speed. He’s starting to fall for the man he’s had maybe one or two conversations with, all through his books. Sirius starts predicting the reactions of his crush to the books he reads. He knows when the man would cry and when he would laugh. He would look forward to every time he knew a snarky comment would be made, and when a serious remark would be made.

Sirius imagines what remus would be like as he sleeps in the man’s bed, eats with the man’s cutlery, and reads the man’s books.

Okay, it wasn’t like he only read. James came over, and Sirius went out. But most evenings he was found curled up with Remus’s favourites. He would look at the pictures on the walls, and marvel at the paintings that were hung up.

Then three weeks in, Remus started answering. He’s getting better and the three (James included) made a group chat. James started to wonder at the references that Sirius has been making. One day, Remus asks him directly.

Remus: Sirius, have you been reading my books?

Sirius: oh, yeah, is that okay?

Remus: of course, I just didn’t expect it

Sirius: I love you

Your annotations*

Sorry sent it too early

;)

[anxiouswildfire]

wait, are you still taking fanfiction prompts? if so, I'd love a fic where arthur notices how bulked out and super mature looking merlin had got by the end. like... when you see someone every day you don't always notice those sorts of changes until something happens and it all hits you at once. and I imagine arthur would have Feelings about it. I feel like you'd kill it <3

I am still taking fanfic prompts!

As to gay panic Arthur at Merlin’s awesomeness.. it sounds awesome. Here’s a little thing I wrote. I’ll let you know if I turn it into a longer fic or the like.

The thing about seeing someone every day is that you don’t notice the little changes. Well, even big changes are hard to notice when they come in the form of gradual change.

Arthur had been making fun of his scrawny little servant for years now. 10 years in fact. He’s seen that same servant grow in height as well as character. And vice versa.

Arthur himself had grown into his swordsmanship. He had the honour and true courage to go with his fast acting fighting.

And it wasn’t like he missed all the change that happened to his friend. He grew at least an inch and learned a lot about politics.

Arthur prided himself on his observation skills. Others would say he’s blind as a bat off the training grounds, though. He could sense a bandit coming from a mile away, but many made fun of him behind his back for the obvious lack of awareness of Merlin’s love for him.

So of course, he didn’t think that he missed anything about Merlin. He watched his manservant all the time. Not in like.. a creepy way. And no, gwaine, not in a lovesick way either.. definitely not.

But despite all that, arthur had to admit that there were a few times in his life where there were things he did not notice.

The first was on some random day in late spring. Arthur was training when he got the bright idea to put merlin in some armour and onto the training field.

“Alright, merlin, all you got to do it hold out the sword and try not to die.” Arthur instructed, trying not to laugh. “I’ll correct you on your form as you fight Lancelot.”

Lancelot looked up from where he was standing. “Me?”

“I trust you to go easy in him, the poor man.”

“Hey I’m not that useless!” Merlin insisted, standing there holding the wooden sword in front of him in surprisedly good form.

“Of course you’re not, Merlin.” Lancelot said easily.

The two fought. Lancelot went easy on him, yes, but merlin was not too bad. Lancelot was one of the best and yet even he was working up a sweat.

Soon Merlin threw off his helmet, “it’s way too hot for this.”

“Come on merlin.” Teased Arthur, “no bandit will wait for you to take off your helmet!”

“Okay, yeah whatever.” He got back into action

Despite Merlin’s decent attempt, Lancelot soon got the upper hand.

Merlin pulled off his chain mail and then his shirt.

Arthur’s protests died when he saw Merlin. It wasn’t the first time he saw the other man shirtless, but this time seemed a bit different. Sweat drew his eyes lower and he had to pull himself away. Merlin wasn’t the skinny guy of 18 anymore. He had filled out over the years, with chores and with good food, he was no longer scrawny. Arthur gaped at the other man. When did his best friend become.. hot? The scars of battle covered the man’s chest, running down. Some were obviously deep wounds that healed over time, others newer.

“Whatcha looking at, sire?”

“..Where did you learn to fight?” Arthur asked after a slightly too long pause.

“You taught me.”

“Oh.” After one last glance at his best friend’s torso, he threw his shirt back at him. “You have chores to do, Merlin.”

Merlin was handsome, when did that happen?

Then of course, there was the time when Arthur asked for advice and merlin gave some really sage answer and Arthur later that night panicked.

Since when was my merlin.. wise? Since always right?

But then he remembered how serious he looked and how mature he took the topic. He realized that merlin actually knew when it was tiem to joke amc when it was time to be serious. And, man, was his serious face hot. Wait what?

Merlin was smart and mature and wise, when did that happen?

Then there was the time when merlin was making fun of him.

“Arthur, you cabbagehead.” Merlin was saying, completely normal thing for him to say so why it struck Arthur was a mystery

He looks so.. cute. Wait. Arthur stopped his thoughts. No way did he just think merlin was cute for calling him a cabbagehead. That was so uniquely Merlin. And oh my goddesses.. he’s in love. he’s so in love with his own best friend and he didn’t even notice.

“Hello, earth to Arthur? Heh earth arthur earth arthur.” Merlin snorted. “Almost rhymes.”

“You are so stupid and I am so madly in love with you.”

Merlin blinked, turning red. “What?

[anxiouswildfire]

Okay okay okay

So like everything in the Merlin universe is exactly the same until the last moments.

Instead of Mordred and Morgana killing and then dying; merlin decides to put a huge forgetting spell on both.

They wake after the battle in Camelot, with different amount of memories.

Mordred remembers becoming a knight and then nothing past that

Morgana remembers nothing past finding out she has magic.

Merlin works with them, slowly integrating their memories back into them over years of hard work.

The two understand both perspectives: their past selves who love arthur and their future selves who hate him. They make their decisions

Maybe they choice to forget their hateful selves, maybe they chose to love Arthur. Maybe it takes multiple tries to get there. Because Merlin cannot hold their memories away from them, but he can make Camelot a better place.

Eventually, both choose to live outside the main city but still in Avalon.

Arthur has a tentative relationship with them, slowly building trust back up.

[anxiouswildfire]

I’m now taking fanfiction prompts if anyone would like me to write their stories. I write short fics in these fandoms:

Merlin (merthur, can also morgwen)

Marauders (jegulus and wolfstar, Jily also works)

Also gen if you want no ships

I don’t do smut and I can’t promise anything

[anxiouswildfire]

Y’all… I just watched Dead Poets Society..

Okay but merlin Inspired by dead poets society with Arthur as Neil Perry, and Merlin as Todd

And here me out here, Merlin is also Mr keating (with some Leon cameos)

Arthur wants to be a good king, but uther wants him to be a “powerful” king

Uther threatens to give his crownship to Morgana all the time

Arthur disobeys him (goes to lower town a lot, goes on trips, talk to Druids, doesn’t kill magic users, etc)

Merlin has some sort of wisdom to share. So does Leon.

Arthur feels trapped. He feels like Morgana could be a better monarch than him.

It all comes to a head when Uther finds out about something he did/didn’t do.

For example, arthur lets a Druids camp go free with the promise of better times, a smaller knight sees this and reports to the king.

Arthur feels like he’s useless and puts his crown down on the table, stares at the Prince’s crown. Does he deserve this power? Is he even better than his father? Morgana is all that he is and more..

And now I have to write it for you to find out what happens but this has been in my head

[anxiouswildfire]

Would anyone like to share their experiences? I want more personal references if possible <3

Also just experienced feeling like remsu or Sirius works too. Just anything for inspiration I really really want to write it

I’m been trying to write a fic for a while about EDS!Remus (muggle university au)

But I’ve yet to have proper inspiration. I’ll update y’all if I get on it

[anxiouswildfire]

Any commenter after I posted a fic idea: please write this

Me: 🫡