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We looked inside some of the posts by arctheist-blog and here's what we found interesting.
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6
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Quote
His eyes are so magical. I want nothing more than to look into them for as long as I exist.
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how i would describe him
its like a room,
with a tender bed,
and full of blanket in the middle of winter.
like a room,
full of vanilla scented candles.
like a room,
with acoustic music playing in the background.
like a room,
with a bedside table,
full of exciting fantasy books, toast, a cup of hot chocolate.
like a room,
with warm white colored fairy lights hanging all around.
like a room,
with a fireplace on the right side of the wall.
like a room,
where i can feel safe and protected.
i would let myself rest inside.
i would totally let myself spend the rest of my life resting inside.
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All I Ever Wanted
i sat at the balcony one night, quiet, all i heard was my heart, its beating. all i could felt was my blood, running through my veins. i was alive. well, at least i thought so.
nothing, at the balcony i did nothing. all i had was my wandering eyes and my playful mind, they made a good bound together. breathe... i breathed. i felt-- i feel empty. there is just this hole, big hole sitting in my heart, i am confused.
i looked at the dark sky, there was moon. i smiled, knowing that i had company. then i laughed, at myself. for always feeling empty and sad. laughed, knowing that i could be the saddest person in the world full of people. i was running, searching everywhere, digging for something to fill the hole-- to stop me for feeling so empty that it started to depressed me.
i was alone, i am, alone. i am lonely. sadly, i dont really get along with loneliness. i had so much anxiety that i carried everyday. i was fearless, now i fear everything.
i fear that i can never be good enough to make myself happy. i fear that a group full of people will look at me little, fear they notice my depression. i fear that im just going to ruin my life, and i can do nothing about it. then i found out that, all i ever wanted was becoming a friend to myself. all i ever wanted was me to complete myself. all i ever wanted was happiness, within me.
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Evening Thoughts.
Have you ever felt so lonely?
its not only that lonely when you have nobody to talk to, its not about that lonely when youre in a group full of people but still feel empty anyway. its not.
Its the lonely when you finally get into the moment when your heart gets heavy, its so heavy that your heart feels like it will break in any minutes.
Its the lonely when you have somebody who said, “I will always be there.” But in fact, they dont even think about you this week, or month.
Its the lonely when your day ends, after a long day with your mates, or your teacher, your school buddies, your partners, whatever, you walk into your bedroom, and you crash. Your knees no longer be able to hold the pain you’ve been carrying all this time. And you’re there, sitting on the floor, crying, all you can feel is numb, hurt, numb, and hurt. But in the other side of you, youre wondering why youre crying, youre wondering why youre hurting so much. And until now you still had no idea why.
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Wanitaku. #1
wanitaku, kepalaku hari ini penuh dengan kamu dia mereka ulang tatapan matamu kala senja waktu itu
wanitaku, telingaku hari ini ribut akan kamu, dia seolah-olah hanya pernah mendengar suaramu
wanitaku, aku hari ini ingin bersama kamu, akan aku bawakan kopi hitam legam untuk kamu kubiarkan kamu duduk, sibuk dengan pikiranmu sendiri seperti biasanya
wanitaku, jika aku bisa bersama kamu, akan aku biarkan kamu berceloteh semaumu aku akan mendengar, akan aku acuhkan segalanya di dunia dan aku penuhi diriku dengan kamu
wanitaku, mataku rindu kamu mataku rindu mengamati matamu yang dilapisi maskara rindu mengamati lipstick merah yang kamu kenakan rindu mengamati setiap gerak gerik yang ada di kamu
wanitaku, aku rindu
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December 15th, 2016.
Kamu pergi.
Silakan saja, saya hanya akan duduk diam tanpa akan memohon-mohon padamu agar kamu tetap tinggal.
Tapi,
Tolong kamu bawa pergi juga Rabu sore itu di mana kamu peluk erat saya, sampai lega bahagia rasanya jiwa saya saat itu.
Bawalah pergi malam hari di mana kamu datang dengan senyuman hangat dan seikat bunga mawar kesukaan saya.
Bawalah ingatan saya tentang hari pertama kamu menyatakan cinta dan saya yang saat itu menangis karena tidak tahu akan berbuat apa.
Bawalah janji-janji dan ucapan manismu agar saat malam saya tidak memikirkan mereka lagi.
Tolong,
bawalah rasa sayang dan cinta saya padamu jauh-jauh mungkin, buang mereka agar saya tidak bisa menemukan mereka kembali, atau kamu mungkin bisa kubur mereka sedalam mungkin agar saya tidak berusaha keras untuk menggali.
Atau mungkin,
kamu bisa datang lagi.
ㅡpada akhirnya saya selalu berharap kamu untuk kembali.
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Quote
I feel like this, is coming to an end.
Burn // Usher.
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I thought that you loved me when I catched you looking at me. I thought that you loved me when you sang a song with me. I thought that you loved me when you asked my opinion about your new haircut. I thought that you loved me when you told me your stories. I thought that you loved me when we both laughed a lot together because of a friend's joke. I thought that you loved me after every conversations we had. But, I was mistaken. You are not falling in love with me. The one that in love is only me, not you. And you dont love me, you won't.
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Photo
It will be okay very soon, right? No?
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Pergi #1
Andaikan aku tahu akan begini, aku akan berteriak, “Hey, kamu! Jangan tinggalkan aku!“
Tapi itu tidak terjadi, lantas kamu pergi.
Salahku.
Salahku.
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