asteroidtroglodyte

[asteroidtroglodyte]

No words can describe how it felt to read the JaimeCersei chapters in AFFC and realize that They Do Not Like Each Other. Both of them, going on and on about how they're each other's half and two bodies one and soul and they have their first conversation, and it's so obvious they don't like each other. They never have any idea what the other is talking about, don't trust the other, they don't even laugh at the same things.

It's like they're both teenagers in their first ever relationship, it's not really built on familiarity, mutual respect, and love, but proximity, attraction, and romantic ideals. And you go out with your highschool boyfriend and you have fun because it's fun to have a boyfriend and you cry when he breaks up with you but by the time you're in college you forget what his last name was, the classes you shared with him and that's fine.

But Jaime and Cersei don't do that. Their bodies grow up, but they don't. And they stay in a juvenile relationship that was never meant to exist, and wonder why they're so unhappy all the time.

[asteroidtroglodyte]

ohhhhhh what a sweet little man.... why are you dressed for jail... what is your crime..

[asteroidtroglodyte]

Explaining to straight adults that much of queer history happened within their lifetime and they were unaware of all the extremely important events and how many laws there were to prevent us from thriving because they werent part of queer circles themselves is like...

-leans in close-

How would you like to know about the war in Ba Sing Se?

[asteroidtroglodyte]

The real divide between older and younger gen z lies between which version of Chuck E Cheese they grew up with

[asteroidtroglodyte]

If your goals basically amount to "after The Revolution everything will be great because people will all have the Good Ethics and work together in my Perfect System and the Evil People with Bad Morals and Bad Behaviour who are making this world bad will be gone (killed/imprisoned/exiled/all converted to agree with us when they see our Perfect System)" then that's just fascism. I hate to say it but you've put a gay socialist hat on fascism.

[asteroidtroglodyte]

The tragedy of my life is that I keep acquiring and displaying fetish art and having to be corrected by my friends.

Most recently, a friend came over my house and saw my computer background and went, "Wow, um, I didn't know you were into that." To which I look at the picture of the well drawn muscular female minotaur in historically accurate Greek clothing and I start geeking out about how I love the detail the artist did with the clothing and I point out the period appropriate folds and pins, how the artist even inserted the native plant that was used to dye the clothing this particular shade in the background, and even how the belt has technology AND historically accurate weaving patterns on it.

Then I start explaining how I love the muscular choices of the minotaur, that I was so impressed with the artist's anatomically correct depiction of the muscles converging into the neck. That many people get an upright cow's neck wrong because cow's don't have collarbones, so it can be very difficult to merge the upper arms and a chest of a human with a cow's body. I draw her attention to the beautiful way they've merged the pectoralis major so smoothly while also staying true to how muscular they've depicted the rest of the body.

I finish up with my thoughts on the artist's bold choice to depict the minotaur as a female, and despite the underlying themes of a minotaur being violence, child murder, strength, and muscles. I segue into how unlike bulls, cow are perceived as mothers. That they are the major source of milk in human culture, and that idyllic depictions of them in a field usually depict calves frolicking nearby, yet the minotaur kills and eats children.

I finish and there is a long pause.

"Urban, this is fetish art." and she takes me to the artist's twitter and god dammit it's fetish art, not a bold statement on cultural perceptions of women and violence throughout history. I have been tricked again.

[asteroidtroglodyte]

Hey. Don’t cry.

Doggo in a swing

[asteroidtroglodyte]

Tonight in ‘reddit headines that made me laugh’

[asteroidtroglodyte]

There should be a public service option where if you’re a very friendly and kind elderly person who visits the same store so often everyone knows your name and chats with you then when you pass away it gets put on the radio or something so I can go to your funeral instead of just realizing after a week that you’ve vanished forever

[asteroidtroglodyte]

[asteroidtroglodyte]

candace flynn is THE most teenage girl character of all time. she is at level 100 anxiety 24/7. she shows her love for her brothers by trying to get them in trouble constantly. her neck is as long as her forearm. she features on a blues album after having an allergic reaction. she has a shrine to her boyfriend in her room. she can't live without her phone. she has a panic room in the basement. she plays 20 instruments that all start with the letter B. she read all of sherlock holmes in one night. she's seen their platypus running around as a secret agent more than once, assumed she was hallucinating each time, and moved on with her life while telling no one. she likes wrestling video games. she was rutabaga princess. she has a billion people to email memes to but when she's trying to think of friends she can only think of four people and one of them is her mom. most animals hate her except monkeys. she invented grilled cheese flavored ice cream. she pretended to be irish for a week. she's autistically obsessed with her universe's version of barney. she writes marvel fanfiction. she does parkour. there's an entire archive of her voice actress screaming just in case her voice ever gave out while recording. she sees her brothers build time machines and rollercoasters every day but doesn't believe in santa. when she starts scheming the wicked witch of the west theme starts playing in the background. she was elected queen of mars. she won a "mayor for the day" essay competition. there's a random person in town who's been avoiding her to the point she doesn't know he exists. she learned how to parallel park by driving a monster truck. she thinks the plural of moose is "meese." she tracks her mom with a GPS. she doesn't know her little brother's full name. she's scared of heights, spiders, and the number seven. when her boyfriend told her he'd call "soon" she started doing complex math to try and figure out when exactly that would be. her first thought upon seeing her royal doppelganger was to go to the laundromat and fill all the dryers with cheese. she earned 50 not-girl-scout patches in one day through sheer determination. she can run fast enough to catch up to moving cars. she can sense when ground is broken in the backyard and when people are judging her. one time she got her face caught in the sink. her brothers carved her into mount rushmore. every now and again a magical zebra appears, calls her kevin, and then disappears again. she killed 99% of an alien invasion with a t-shirt cannon. in an alternate universe she's leading a regime-destroying resistance at the age of 15. she's being accidentally gaslit every day of her life.

[asteroidtroglodyte]

they should invent a bus that never gets stuck in traffic because it's on its own path separated from the roads. and then chain multiple of them together and put it on rails. has anyone had this idea before.

[asteroidtroglodyte]

like mother like son passed on her love for tall big tiddy goths

[asteroidtroglodyte]

This scientist crafts stunning visual art through chemistry.

[asteroidtroglodyte]

An Australian Blue Heeler goes to sleep on top of the flock it has herded