#troglodyte thoughts

[asteroidtroglodyte]

[slippingintostones]

not to be pedantic but this cursèd discourse is not thought out enough to make me stick to a single answer.

it would be extremely odd, but definitely possible for someone to put a walrus on my doorstep, knock, and leave, letting me open my door to find a walrus at my threshold. I would be more surprised to see a fairy.

however, if the idea is that the being of entirely their own volition came up to my door and knocked, I would be significantly more surprised to see a walrus on my doorstep. how far did the walrus travel to reach me? why me? how did the walrus gain the cognitive power to care, and how did it get here? if a fairy showed up on my doorstep then obviously fairies have always existed, and my ignorance of that fact didn’t prevent that fairy from seeking me out, which is ontologically less surprising than the instantaneous ascension of a singular walrus’ brain power

[90oznihilists]

If i see that stupid fucking cunty rococo doll discourse on twitter again

[jebtruther]

People seriously gotta stop mixing up impulsive thoughts with intrusive thoughts and then proceed to demonize actual intrusive thoughts because they think that intrusive thoughts are some kind of deep hidden desire of somebody, especially as a person with OCD💔💔💔

[merchantarthurn]

i guess when you’ve had direct experience as a minor with what seemingly innocent adults do when they’re into this stuff behind the scenes, you look “obsessed” when you don’t want to be near them as an adult. frankly, the former isn’t even necessary if your brain isn’t made of slime.

[unregisteredhypercam1]

: /

[quicksilversg1rl]

tomblyth

Liked by rachelzegler and 659 660 others

tomblyth some bts pics from set!

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rachelzegler 🫢🫢🫢

girlblogger girl what do you know🤨??? tell us!!

lionsgate white boy of the month

tomblythupdates what’s going on in the last picture 😶

user236574 tom babe come home the kids miss you

wh0reforcoryosnow the last picture??? i thought he was single 💔💔💔

tomblythdaily @/wh0reforcoryosnow i think its just his cousin 😅

stinkyuser @/tomblythdaily be serious 🤣 that is NOT his cousin

youruser

Liked by tomblyth and 676 others

youruser BEACH DAY 🌊🥥

View all 185 comments

yourbestfriendsuser MOTHER

youruser @/yourbestfriendsuser 🤭🤭

yourotherfriend served cunt on a silver platter

youruser @/yourotherfriend learnt it from you mama

tomblythdaily tom’s following went up by 1 and it’s this chick???

coryosnowsbabymama @/tomblythdaily who even is she??

tomblythupdates girl are you and tom dating???

user654 @/tomblythupdates yall need to leave this girl alone

everythingtomblyth

Liked by tomblythdaily and 6336 others

everythingtomblyth tom spotted with his gf in new york today!!

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coriolanusnowsgirl oh 💔

tomblythdaily i swear that’s that y/n girl he follows 😭

user367 @/tomblythdaily RIGHT! looks exactly like her!!!

randomuser @/user367 you can’t even see her face???

tomblyth

Liked by hunterschafer and 102 843 others

tomblyth ❤️

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randomuser i’ll actually just kms 💔

girlblogger tom babe who’s this 😊!

user589 @/girlblogger it’s @/youruser

girlblogger @/user8278 wtf she’s so pretty i can’t even be upset

tomblythfan @/girlblogger we don’t know if it’s actually her though 💀??

tomblythupdates @/youruser HOW DOES IT FEEL TO LIVE MY DREAM!!!

randomuser @/tomblythupdates imagine it’s not actually her 😭😭😭

youruser

Liked by rachelzegler and 601 others

youruser photos from my favourites album 🦢

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tomblyth 😍❤️

randomuser_01 @/tomblyth you’re sleeping on the couch tn smh 💔

tomblythdaily @/tomblyth NO GO AWAY

rachelzegler FINALLY

youruser @/rachelzegler LMFAO 😭😭

yourbestfriendsuser HARD LAUNCH OMG OMG

youruser @/yourbestfriendsuser 🤭

stinkyuser what does tom even see in her

randomfan @/stinkyuser getting all pissy when you didn’t even stand a chance please 💀

everythingtomblyth gagged us with this post

hater_01 she’s not even that pretty

yourbestfriendsuser @/hater_01 brave coming from someone who looks like a troglodyte

youruser @/yourbestfriendsuser girl please 😭😭😭

tomblyth

Liked by youruser and 666 672 others

tomblyth Caught some absolute beauties 🌊 Took a few beatings on the head. Then sipped a luke-warm, sun-kissed beer and mused over how life is but a game of beauties and beatings and how you can’t appreciate one without the other.

Now it’s sleeting in NY

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youruser shakespeare’s got nothing on you baby 😍

randomuser @/youruser LMFAO

tomblythfan @/youruser please she’s funny 😭😭😭😭

girlblogger @/youruser HELP 😭😭😭

youruser yum

tomblyth @/youruser giggling 🤭

randomuser @/tomblyth they’re so cute 😭😭💔

tomblythupdates @/tomblyth oh to have a bf like tom blyth

rachelzegler my OTP 🙏

coryosnowsbabymama do yall need a dog?? i can bark 💔💔💔

tomblythdaily @/coryosnowsbabymama so real

౨ৎ @bluemerakis

౨ৎ thanks for reading ⛄️

[nevermindsunny77]

🧿 GENTLE REMINDER 🧿 Be the host to yourself and celebrate each day like its your birthday 🤿 #troglodyte #thoughts #photooftheday #motivation (at Udaipur - The City of Lakes) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cj68J3tpbeL/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[sooniebby]

Pleek danny i am begging for dilf nanamin who cant so much as make small talk with Ijichi's son reader without wanting to grab the reader and bend him over the nearest object,,,, huuhdhjdjsh for kinks,,,,,, sir kink, impact play, brat taming,,,, also ftm reader bcs yk <3

ఌ 𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐎

꧁ 𝙆𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙤 𝙭 𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙨 𝙢𝙖𝙡𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧 ꧂

w.c. › 7.1k

Warnings › reader is kinda ditzy. But also unintentionally bratty and kinda crazy. Age difference, obvs. Plot… again—Femboy-ish reader in the fact some of his clothes are more feminine. Slight transphobia but nothing terrible, just two people who suck ass. Slow-ish slow burn like the Toji fic… also just start fucking randomly

Kinks › use of pussy/cunt/feminine terms, sir kink, impact play, brat taming. Reader is called good boy.

ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

“Excuse my son, I need to drive him to his performance.”

“Hiii~!”

You wave at the man who gets into your dad’s car. You didn’t know what type of job he did actually. He told you, ‘driver’ and that was it. So you never thought to actually question it. Though, seeing the people he usually drives… you’re starting to think he’s a mafia’s getaway driver.

This guy looked to be a bit younger than your dad, though certainly older than you. Blonde hair that was previously slicked back and now a bit messy. He sat in the passenger seat and was looking at his phone, texting someone.

When he was walking up to the car earlier, you were pretty sure he was holding a butcher knife.. but it was dark so you decided to think you were over thinking it.

You sat in the back seat, watching the street lights fade past as your dad practically speeds down to the place you were performing today.

You played the piano. Not as a job, just as something for extra cash as a college student. It helped a lot—but it was hard to find jobs in the area, most were so far that you had to have Ijichi drive you.

The car came to a halt once Ijichi reached the house you were playing at. Some rich function happening. It didn’t matter, as long as it payed well.

“Thanks, Dad. Bye, Blondie.” You said, not waiting for any type of response as you stepped out. But much to your confusion, your dad and blondie got out of the car. Though they didn’t seem to be going towards the house you were. Just looking at the abandoned building a few blocks down.

Huh… maybe your dad really is in the yakuza business.

Shit, why didn’t that pay well?

You pushed back any curiosity to see what they were up to and walk inside the house. The performance, like always, was easy. You chose the fanciest but easiest pieces to play on the piano. It was hard doing it for hours straight with only ten minutes breaks between.

It was around two hours at the party, that your phone started ringing. You tried to ignore it, wanting to finish the piece you were playing. It was going well until the sound of something collapsing outside caught the guests attention. You heard screaming and yelling as everyone was moving around in a frenzy.

But you stayed put, knowing that if you stood up, you’d get trampled. Everyone was acting too frantic for your liking. Once there was a few people left, you grabbed your bag and walked out of the home, staring right at what looked to be a building collapsed onto itself.

It was the building Blondie and your dad was looking at. It confused you as there was a crowd of people running to their fancy cars and speeding away for safety. No one called the police —all too focused on their own lives. You stepped forward, towards the street to the now collapsed building. It was old.. but how did it just break down like that? That’s not normal. Did something push into it?

“Ijichi.”

A hand grabbed your shoulder. You shrieked and began to flail your arms around.

“Unhand me, troglodyte!!! I took taekwondo four years ago! I.. remember something!!”

“Calm down. Your father is just looking for you.”

You flinched when the hand moved to grab one of your arms, effortlessly stopping your failed attempt of taekwondo. You glanced up to see Blondie, his eyebrows furrowed while there was a small little cut on his cheek. Huh, was that always there? His clothes looked dusty, as if he was rolling around in dirt.

Was he in the building before it collapsed?

“Oh, Blondie—!”

“—Nanami.”

“That’s what I said. What happened to that building? It just fell.”

Blondie—Nanami hummed. “Old buildings can fall apart after a few years of being unkept.”

“Uh… okay.” You muttered, weirded out by his answer but decided that would be enough. “Where’s Dad?”

“The car.” Nanami nodded towards your father’s car that was parked farther away from everything. You saw your father leaning against the car, his arm looking a bit.. mangled to say the least. Feeling a sense of panic, you sprinted over there and came to stop once you got a clear picture of what happened to him.

His arm looked as if it was purposely twisted into an uncomfortable position. Ijichi gave you a tight smile, obviously taken from the pain. He used his free hand to lightly pat your head.

“What… happened?” You whispered, glancing over at Nanami as he walked over. You felt an odd sensation of protection as you quickly stood between him and your father, glaring at Nanami with a tint of suspicion.

Nanami raised an eyebrow, obviously confused on why he was being suspected as a the culprit. It was odd because he was obviously hurt as well—though to a lesser extent. The cut on his cheek wasn’t the only one as there was on his forearm that was actually still bleeding through the light bandage that was used from his sleeve.

“Nothing you need to worry about,” Ijichi muttered. “Did you get paid?”

“Oh.. no. I forgot to ask for money—don’t know if she’ll pay me now though.”

“Well—as you can see, (Name), I’m badly hurt. I’ll need to go get this checked out.”

“Yeah, of course,” you smiled. “I’ll drive you. I’ve been getting better.”

“No—I need you to do me a favor.” Ijichi glanced over at Nanami before leaning in close to you. “I’m sure you know I’m not just a driver at this point—but for your safety I can’t say too much.”

You gasped, dramatically putting a hand over your lips. “No…. You’re a Yakuza member?!”

Ijichi stared at you as if you were crazy. “What—? Anyway, I’ll need you to stay at Nanami’s for a few weeks. Just so I can get better at the hospital.”

“Blondie?”

“Nanami.” Nanami cut in.

“That’s what I said,” you rolled your eyes. “Why? I can stay at the house alone.”

“It’s not safe. Someone…” Ijichi paused, as if he was wondering how much he should actually tell you. “It’s just not safe. We don’t know if he’d go after you. It’s safer to stay with a sorcerer—uh.”

You blinked. “Sorcerer? Right…” You grinned, thinking your dad was just trying to be subtle about his connection to the Yakuza. “Of course. Dangerous… gang leaders and all the like.”

Ijichi simply sighed. “Yes, sure. It will only be three to four weeks maximum. I’ll be healed by then. Nanami will drive me to the hospital and then he’ll take you home so you can pack a bag, okay?”

“Fine. Doesn’t seem like I have a choice,” you whined, pouting.

“Yes, you didn’t.” Ijichi said. He used his free hand and opened the door to passenger side of the car. You sat in the back once more while Nanami went to the driver side. As he drove, you couldn’t help but glance back at the collapsed building. While Yakuza were dangerous—you haven’t seen them collapse a building before. That’d just draw too much attention to them.

At the very least, you hoped Nanami lived close to your university. It was tiring having to rely on your dad’s car to get places since you lived on the outskirts of the city. But there was an aching feeling in your stomach. How.. did your dad’s arm twist like that? Will it actually be able to be fixed?

Right before you tore your eyes away from the building, you saw the flicker of red eyes.

𖥸

Blondie’s place was actually pretty nice. It was a nice little apartment—decorated decently. Though it was obviously done by an older man. You felt odd being in a stranger’s place but you trusted your father’s judgement so you didn’t complain a lot. At least verbally.

The apartment was on the sixth floor, with nice glass windows in the living room giving you a nice gaze into the city. The building lights kept the room bright even before Blondie turned on the lights. You checked the bag you were carrying, making sure you had your shots. Blondie was carrying the heavier bags—you had practically forced him to.

Just a couple of pouts and blinks with your long eyelashes got him carrying them.

“I have a spare bedroom that you’ll stay in. There’s no attached bathroom.” He said. He walked over to a hallway that had three doors. The left was the bathroom. The right was your new bedroom and the center is obviously Nanami’s room.

As he opened the door, the room was less decorated than the rest. But that made sense—no one would be in this room often. The room didn’t look too small—a queen size bed in the middle and a singular night stand to accompany it.

A small dresser in front of the wall facing the bed—and…

A tv that had a crack on the right side of it. Blondie noticed your shocked face as he placed your bags on the bed. “The movers dropped it.” He simply said.

“Eh. Does it still work?” You muttered, grabbing the remote that rested on the nightstand. You turned it on and what played was cartoons—but in English.

“Somehow it’s stuck on Australian cartoons. I can’t change it, it was bought second hand.” He said. He grabbed the remote and seemed to try again and see what was wrong with the settings. You wondered how he could understand the English but didn’t ask. He must’ve studied English or something.

Nanami hummed as he gave you back the remote. “You can still at least flip through the channels. A few have Japanese subtitles.” Was all he said as he left the room. You glanced over at him as he closed the door behind himself.

Huh. That was abrupt.

You placed your bag on the floor and decided to just unpack everything into the small closet. It was weird to be staying at a man’s place you literally met today but if your dad trusted him, you’d “trust” him too. But at the thought of your dad, you kept thinking of his arm. The mangled arm that couldn’t possibly be fixed. But he seemed so sure.

You knew your dad treated you a bit childish compared to adults your age with their parents. It was okay when you were a kid but ever since you started transitioning it has gotten worse. But you knew why. He just wanted to protect you… It was evident in him not trusting to allow you stay home alone.

The light clink of syringes caught your attention when you accidentally jostled your bag. You took out one syringe and one of the small bottle. It took forever for you to even get the option to take testosterone. As you prepped yourself for your shot, you thought back to the red eyes. Did you imagine that?

Did you actually see that…? Or was your eyes playing tricks on you?

As you packaged the dirty syringe into a plastic bag, ready to be disposed of, there was a knock on the door. The door opened and Blondie was holding a bowl of noodles. He placed them on the nightstand.

“I would’ve made you a proper meal.” He said, vaguely pointing to his properly bandaged arm. “But I need to be careful. When you’re finished, put the bowl in the sink. Good night.”

Then he left. Again.

Gosh, why was he so abrupt when it came to his goodbyes?

The ramen was okay. It’s as good as gas station ramen is gonna be. As you placed the bowl in the sink, you walked past the living room to reach your room when you passed by a photo. The photo was inside a glass cabinet—connected to the small piece framing around the tv. You leaned in close, wanting to see who it was.

It looked to be a much younger Nanami.

Oh wow—was he emo? You laughed to yourself at his haircut. Next to him was a girl, a guy with white hair—strange, and a guy with black hair.

Wow, another emo.

You noticed someone next to Nanami, on his left.

A guy with brown hair. He looked cute—he had a wide smile. Cute.

You hummed. Their uniform looked kinda weird. Nothing close to what you wore in high school. Hm, were they also about in the Yakuza?

Do the Yakuza hire young people?

As you thought deeply on your “profound” question, you pulled away from the cabinet. Well, it wasn’t much of your concern. If you were lucky, Blondie didn’t work for the Yakuza anymore. With a huff, you walked back to your room and went to sleep for the night.

𖥸

“Blondie?”

He wasn’t there. You checked around the apartment the next morning, wanting to simply talk—mainly ask him to make you some breakfast—but he wasn’t there. Or anywhere for that matter. You plopped down into the couch and checked your phone, pouting to yourself as your thumb hovered over your father’s contact.

“She’s always in your shadow! Why did you raise her like that?!”

“Don’t speak about my son like that! You were the one who decided to not raise him, it’s not (Name)’s fault he doesn’t want to go to you.”

“Him, him, him! It’s time you stop allowing this nonsense to continue, Ijichi.”

“Whose last name does he have? Ijichi (Name)! I’ll be the one to raise my son how I see fit.”

“Fine! Continue letting ‘him’ play dress up! When that child of yours is still living in your home while giving you no grandchildren, don’t cry about how you wished you had a normal daughter!”

“Ijichi.”

You gasped, looking up as you saw Blondie staring down at you. Your eyes felt blurry—you couldn’t really see him. Blondie kneeled down, removing your glasses as he handed you a handkerchief. It was soft in your hand, as you lightly dabbed it under your eyes before full on using it to stop your tears. You didn’t even know what happened.

You didn’t want to think about her.

That woman who carried you for nine months.

Gosh, you hated her.

But she still brought you to tears so easily.

“Th…anks… Blondie.” You whispered.

“Nanami.”

“That’s what I said.”

Blondie didn’t seem to care about why you were crying. Or at the very least, was being respectful in not asking. He was still a stranger. You continued to wipe away your tears, silently grateful he was back from wherever he left off to.

“Where’d… You go?”

“Store. I was missing a few things to make breakfast.”

You glanced over to the kitchen and indeed saw him preparing something. When did he even get back? Were you that deep into your trauma flashback that you didn’t hear him? You felt your cheeks flush hot. Fuck, that’s so embarrassing. As you began rubbing a bit harder to try and lessen your puffy red eyes—your phone began to ring.

With speed you’d question back at, you checked to see who was calling.

It wasn’t your father.

Shit, it was just some guy you had in your class. The damn leech when it came to your recent project you were doing for history.

He didn’t want to do anything and embarrassingly enough, you were doing everything at this point.

You tossed your phone onto the coffee table and sighed, draping the handkerchief over your eyes as you leaned back onto the couch. You’d speak to him tomorrow. The sound of chopping and sizzling filled the room as you slowly drifted off to a comfortable nap.

It always felt good to sleep after a cry.

When you woke up, it was dark out. Shit. You glanced around the living room—noticing you had a blanket on you. As you folded the blanket back and rested it on the couch, you walked to the kitchen. You opened the fridge and saw the food Blonde was probably making. It looked to just be an omelette.

Good enough.

After microwaving and sitting down back at the couch to eat you briefly wondered where Nanami could’ve went.

Ah.

Yakuza, probably.

𖥸

“Ijichi, why didn’t you answer my phone call?”

You sighed as you were roughly grabbed by your infamous slacker. You stared at him with no intention to really speak to him—just let him rant about how “you’re not listening to him” or “why do you hate him?” Whatever bullshit he comes up with.

“I’m trying to help with this project, really,” he begins and then just blabbers on.

You don’t pay attention. It goes on for maybe a few minutes until you see a crowd of people leaving their classroom. Perfect. You pushed slacker’s hands off of you and seamlessly phased into the group of people walking away.

It’s only been about two days but it felt like years since you’ve seen your dad.

Huh.

Maybe she was right about—

You shake your head. Fuck that lady! She’s burnt flesh now anyway.

As you walk away from your university, you came face to face with a dilemma. You don’t know where Nanami’s apartment is—you kinda just left on auto pilot to not miss class. And shocker, you never got his number to call him.

Well shit.

You aimlessly walked around the city for a bit, just enjoying the nice day. The sunlight shined down onto you as you giggled a bit. Hm, the sun is nice. You decided to just text your dad for Nanami’s phone number. So while you waited for him to answer your text—you stopped by a nearby cafe for some coffee.

Right when you left the cafe, you noticed something weird.

Red eyes just staring at you—right from across the street. Inside a building that looked to be abandoned. Wow, when did Japan have so many abandoned buildings. You instinctively stepped forward, trying to see if this was just something you were seeing by chance.

You used the cross walk to go across the street, getting face to face with the building. But the eyes were gone. You hummed, starting to believe maybe you were going through it. This is perhaps the longest you’ve gone no contact with your dad—you’re probably just worried. Especially with the injury you saw him with.

A mangled arm.

Anyone would be reeked with worry.

As you pulled out your phone to check if your dad answered you yet, you felt yourself freeze. There was someone watching you. No… something.

You glanced up, looking into one of the building’s window and gasped in shock at the sight of what you were seeing. It wasn’t human. And it looked like a huge centipede, staring at you as if you were a piece of meat. You booked it, immediately.

Your legs burn from running but you didn’t stop. You kept going and going until you felt a bit safe in a public area. Just… what the hell was that? When did centipedes get so big? And it was looking at you so hungrily?! What the hell?! With your thoughts focused solely on your new discovery of big centipedes, you felt a tap on your shoulder.

You shrieked, ready to fight but sighed seeing it was just the slacker.

“Ijichi, man, the fuck are you avoiding me for? I’m seriously trying to get a good grade here! If I fail…”

You tune him out again. Wondering how the fuck he was able to find you. His grip was tight around your arm before it slowly slid to your back. You slightly paid attention to what the hell he think he was doing touching you so much until you felt his hand slightly slide down your waist.

“What in—”

“—look, if the reason you’re just ignoring me because you’re scared about what you really are, most people practically know and don’t care. I don’t care about that queer stuff!”

You blinked at him, wondering how he went from zero to a hundred. You didn’t care that people could probably tell you were trans so long as they didn’t bother you. But now you were about pissed off this guy was making you do more work for this damn project and now making it seem like it was your fault—not his inability to work.

“Listen here, Slacker—”

But you didn’t have to say much when he was pulled off of you. You grinned. “Oh! Great.” Slacker fell to the ground and looked up—you did the same, looking to see who was your savior of the day.

Oh.

Just Blondie.

“Oh, Blondie. I was looking for your apartment, I also need your phone number.” You said, smiling softly, forgetting all about the slacker on the floor. Blondie simply hummed as he grabbed your arm and began guiding you to his place, leaving slacker on the floor yelling after you.

Which was… two blocks from where you were standing.

Oh wow. Definitely made sense in why you got to your university so quick. Blondie’s apartment was just ten minutes away. Ahah… embarrassing.

Once inside the apartment, Blondie seemed set on ignoring you again. Which seemed to be all he was doing these few days you stayed here. But you didn’t know why. You huffed to yourself, pouting as you dropped your bag on the floor and plopped down onto the couch, ready to watch some tv.

“Blondie~!” You sang, grinning lightly. “You’re in the kitchen still, right? Can you get me something to eat? Please~?”

You didn’t get a reply back. You briefly wondered if he wasn’t going to do it so you moved to sit up but was proven wrong when Blondie gave you a turkey sandwich. You quickly took the plate and began eating, humming after having not eaten lunch. But Blondie was still staring down at you, his eyebrow slightly raised as if he was waiting for you to say something.

Your lips pursed as you thought what he needed to hear until you gasped. “Oh, thanks, Blondie.” You muttered with your mouth still full as you began eating again.

You only got a huff in response as he walked away to do whatever he usually does. As you ate, you thought back to that centipede. Was that really real? There’s no such thing as monsters, anyway. You wondered if you should tell Blondie—but what could he do realistically?

Well, he’s in the Yakuza, maybe he could find a way.

𖥸

It’s been about two weeks now. Your dad still hasn’t returned much of your texts but you had gotten closer to Blondie. As much as you could anyway. He was very cut and dry with his answers to you.

You ask him how his day went, he’d answer with a curt: “okay.”

Ask him about what he does for work: “office job.”

He seemed to have trouble really looking at you when you spoke to him. He’d glance at you and then suddenly look at whatever he was doing with such intensity as you tried asking him questions. Or even just talking to him. Boring!

You were starting to believe he had a problem with the clothes you wore. When you dressed in baggy clothing, he would look at you more. But whenever you wore a tighter top or even shorts that showed a sliver of your ass, it was like looking at you would’ve burned his retinas!

Geez, did he not like guys in tighter clothing?

Damn… you must’ve been pretty ugly to him.

As you mentally cried to yourself about being seen as ugly on the couch, you glanced at your phone. You haven’t seen that slacker after you sent in the project. Of course you told the professor you did most and if not all of the work. So, you got an A—obviously.

You haven’t seen any human sized centipedes in a while so you were set to just believe you were imagining it. As you tugged down at your shorts that were acting like underwear at this point, you heard the front door open. Oh, Blondie’s back!

You grinned and went over to him, smiling. “Blondie! You’re early, they let you off?”

Blondie hummed. “I had a half day.” He simply said, walking over to the living room as he sat down with a grunt. He looked a bit tired so you decided to just not say anything else to him. There was always a few days when he just came home with a look of dread and was totally silent.

You were really starting to believe he was a Yakuza member.

As you turned to walk to your room, you bent down for a second to pick up a pillow that had fallen when you previously jumped off the couch. When you stood back you, you turned around to see Blondie staring at you with wide eyes. You simply smiled at him and placed the pillow back on the couch. Weird, why was he staring at you like that.

“I’m going to my room. Call me if you need me.” You said, waving goodbye as you sprinted off to your room, not knowing that Blondie’s gaze didn’t leave you at all.

𖥸

Nanami rubbed the bridge of his nose as he tried not to think about you essentially just flashing him earlier. When you had bent down to grab the pillow, he saw that your shorts, that were too short in his opinion, the crotch area had kinda sort of—clung to one side. So he saw it, at least just one lip—of your cunt.

And he felt angry with himself that his cock actually twitched at the sight. Was he some damn animal? He’d certainly been feeling like that the last two weeks. He couldn’t exactly… speak well with you. You just staring up at him with your cute smile but painfully naughty clothing.

Who just wears a shirt that is practically clinging to your body that it hides nothing to the imagination! And your shorts… who wears such short shorts with no underwear?

He wasn’t sure if he could take another few weeks with you here. Not if he didn’t want to just slam you against the wall and take you there.

But no, he couldn’t do that. You were Ijichi’s son. And he was pretty sure when Ijichi said: “take care of my son.” He didn’t mean fuck his son. Though he kinda wished he did.

It’ll be fine. Just a minimum of two more weeks… then you’d be gone back at home with Ijichi.

𖥸

Nanami wished he had just gone straight to bed. He was sitting on the couch watching tv when you suddenly appeared, dressed in a stupid crop top and short shorts. You plopped down beside him before resting your head right on his lap. When he tried to push you away, you only whined, pouting up at him to let you stay.

Damn brat.

He tried focusing back on the show he was watching as you seemed to only have wanted contact with him. You hummed softly before giggling.

“Nana—Blondie,” you said, looking over at him. “Today’s my mom’s death anniversary.”

He glanced down at you, a bit confused on why you didn’t seem bothered on your mother being dead.

“She died in a car crash. Drunk driving. The hospital said she burned to death in her car… witnesses said they heard her screaming as they tried to open the car door and out the fire.” You sighed, a soft smile on your lips as you recount your mother’s death. “I was 18. It was a good early birthday gift. But Dad said I shouldn’t be so cruel to her even if she was a bitch.”

“It’s not strange,” you said, turning your face to rest on Nanami’s leg as you glanced up at him. Your eyelashes batting as your lips were pulled into a pout. “To not care about a bitch dying, right? I’m sure there’s someone everyone has that they just can’t wait to die.”

Nanami wasn’t sure what brought this out. He was actually a bit worried honestly that you were so nonchalant about death. Though he could tell that despite this act you were pulling, her death did affect you… but perhaps it truly did bring a sense of peace. Especially if her death was truly that horrible.

“I can’t speak on that.” Was all he said, deciding it was best to let the conversation die out. He’d tell Ijichi to schedule you a therapist once he’s better.

“Hm, yeah, I did bring it out of nowhere. Anyway, my birthday is in four days! Getting me anything?” You giggled.

“No. I didn’t know it was your birthday.”

“What? Blondie~! Whaddya mean? I’m practically your roommate by now, and roommates give each other gifts.”

“Are you truly my roommate when I do everything?”

Which was true. You were more like a freeloader. Nanami did the chores, cleaned up mostly after you, and paid for literally everything. You were silently forbidden on doing your piano jobs so you were kinda shit out of luck, relying on Nanami at this point.

You simply huffed. “Meanie.” As you moved your head to face Nanami’s stomach. Nanami couldn’t help but flinch as he felt your nose accidentally brush against his crotch area. His grip on the remote tightened as he so desperately wished he was rude enough to push you off of him.

It was quiet for bit, just the tv going on with the show Nanami was watching. And subconsciously, Nanami began to calm down a bit and just allowed you to stay there. Maybe you really did just want some comfort.

There was something pressing against his crotch. He glanced down to see you, purposefully, rubbing your nose against his crotch before pulling away. You yawned, acting as if you were just essentially teasing him and grinned.

“I’m going to bed, Blondie. Think about what you’re getting me for my birthday!” You winked, standing up as you walked back to your room. He was so sure you were intentionally swaying your hips. What the hell was that?

And why the hell was he horny from a freaking nose rub?!

𖥸

Blondie, Blondie, Blondie

That’s all you called him. Occasionally, you’d say, “Nana—” but then quickly switch back to Blondie. It was as if you were intentionally trying to get him upset. Nanami didn’t know how a calm man like Ijichi could have a son like you.

The only similarity you two had was the glasses you both wore. It actually was the same brand and shape—weird.

You seemed to have two pairs of glasses though. You were the ones similar to Ijichi’s often and this pair of red ones whenever you were feeling “annoying.” Nanami had come to expect the red cat eye glasses whenever you wanted to be a little brat.

And look at that, you were wearing them right now.

Nanami was sitting on the couch, checking something in his phone when you suddenly appeared behind him. He didn’t look up, waiting for you say something until he felt your arms wrap around his neck. His body stiffened as you leaned close, pressing your lips against the tip of his ear.

“Guess what’s tomorrow?” You whispered. “B-i-r-t-h-d-a-y.” You intentionally made each letter sound breathy, pausing just a split second to let them sit heavy in the air.

You pulled away and giggled. “Got my present? You gotta make up for Dad,” you went to sit on the couch and glanced over at Nanami who looked as if he would keel over if a gust of wind blew past him. His grip was tight on his phone, you were a bit worried it’d crack.

“What was that?” Nanami suddenly said, still looking straight.

“Was what? It was for dramatic effect!” You said honestly, not knowing how sexual you had just sounded in his ear. Nanami turned over to face you with a look of pure disbelief while you simply grinned.

“Aw~ poor Blondie, don’t take it so seriously!” You playfully pat his leg before grabbing the tv remote and turning it on. You were engulfed into the random Japanese drama playing while Nanami could only just stare at you in awe.

Wow. You really were a damn brat.

It was fine though. He had the perfect birthday present now.

𖥸

It was your birthday!!

Which meant no school. Why would you willingly go to school on your day? Only losers do that! You sighed comfortably on the couch as you turned on the tv to play random Korean dramas for most of the day. And that’s how you spent most of the day.

It was around noon when your phone buzzed. You expected it to be one of your very few friends that you have but much to your shock with was your dad! You squealed happily and quickly opened the text he sent.

‘Happy Birthday, 🐹, I’ve been feeling better, don’t worry about me. I’ll be able to call you soon. I hope you aren’t giving Nanami too much trouble.’

You pouted but quickly texted him back, stating that you and Blondie were practically pals at this point. It brought a smile to your lips to see the hamster emoji though. You had quite chubby cheeks even has an adult that your dad loving pinching. It always looked bigger when you ate.

It was commented more when you were a kid but there was still some people who would—lovingly—call you a hamster in disguise.

Finally having confirmation that your dad was at least alright, you felt a heavy weight lift off your shoulders. You yawned and stretched out, turning your attention back to the tv as you spent the rest of the day lounging around.

It was dark out when Nanami finally came back home. You waved from the couch, not bothering to get up. You were always lazy on your birthday. Definitely from being a bit too spoiled on these days. But hey, at least you didn’t act like this everyday.

You could see Nanami did have a small box in his hand as he moved to the kitchen. You silently hoped it was a cake as you finally sat up a bit and moved to join Nanami in the kitchen.

“So now you’re greeting me,” Nanami said, placing the box in the fridge. You pursed your lips, wondering why he seemed a bit upset. It wasn’t like you greeted him all the time when he walked through the door.

“You like that stuff? Aw~,” you walk over to him, resting your hand on his shoulder. “You like those couple stuff? So cute, Blondie!”

You hummed when you felt his hand grab yours, slowly pulling it away from his shoulder. You glanced up, wondering if you perhaps went a bit too far but Nanami didn’t seem angry. On the contrary, he seemed like his usual self. He used his free hand to fix his glasses as his grip on yours tighten.

“I’ve allowed you to continually act like a brat throughout your stay here—I know what you truly need as a birthday present.”

With sudden strength, you found yourself pinned against the wall, his body pressed up against yours. You were wearing a long shirt but your usual short shorts.

“Blon—”

“—Sir. Since Nanami is a problem for you to say, that should be easy for you.”

You blushed slightly, having never really called someone that before. But somehow, you didn’t find it in you to disobey. Nanami hitched up your shirt, grabbing the front end and pressing it against your lips. It took you a second but you bit down on it.

“Good boy.”

Oh no.

Y’know, you did find Nanami attractive, but you were always the type of person to want to stick to your age range. But this…

“You kept whining about wanting a birthday present,” his hands gripped your shorts, “do you want this?” He whispered against your ear, practically giving you an out.

You gripped the wall in front of you but felt yourself nodding, blushing in embarrassment.

“I need words, (Name).” He said. You felt your legs tremble. You wanted him to say your name again.

“Yes… keep going.” You whispered.

Nanami hummed in approval as he pulled down your shorts, making you left up your legs so they can be fully taken off. Now you were standing in the kitchen, pressed against the wall with just a shirt. Nanami’s hand traced your upper thigh, his hand ghosting your cunt but he never brought it close enough.

You whined slightly, looking back at him with pleading eyes. He gave you small smirk.

“Despite it being your birthday, you acted bad today, Baby.”

“H..huh? How..?” You muffled out through your t-shirt, a look of surprise in your eyes.

“You don’t really remember?” Nanami gripped your hips tightly as he forced you to pull away from the wall. Your hands pressed tightly against the wall as your back arched. His hands slid down your hips to your butt as he harshly gripped them, spreading them apart teasingly as you whimpered.

“You can’t have short term memory loss, (Name). Think.”

You thought for a second before humming. “Greet… didn’t greet you..” you muffled.

“Good boy. So you know you’ll have to be punished for not properly greeting me? It’s what’s brats get for misbehaving.”

“m… not a brat.”

Smack!

“I don’t like liars.” Was all he said before you felt another slap against your ass. You whimpered, your body shaking at each spanking. He wasn’t gentle in the slightest, not leaving room for a break. It was continuous spankings against each cheek, earning deep screams from you.

The spankings filled the silent apartment, swirling in symphony with your high pitched screams. You didn’t think this was really a good birthday present but you couldn’t deny that it was actually feeling a bit good in a weird way.

After a few more slaps, Nanami began rubbing your sore butt cheeks, pressing a wet kiss into your shoulder.

“Good boy. You handled that perfectly.” He said, leaning close as he grabbed your left leg and lifted it up. Your back was now pressed against his chest as you tried to keep a steady balance with now just one foot.

“Th…ank…you.. Sir.” You muttered out, tears staining your cheeks as you looked up at him. Nanami cooed, wiping away a few of your tears with his free hand.

“Now, do you think you deserve your present?”

You nodded, “yes.. yes! Please..”

Nanami seemed to take a bit of pity on you as he simply nodded. He wanted to tease you a bit more but he decided that since it was your first time and birthday, he’d be nicer. Though next time he’d be much more cruel.

You whimpered as you felt his hand graze your cunt, teasing one finger against your wet folds. It had been a minute since you even touched yourself down there. You were always too anxious that Nanami would be able to hear you or he might come home earlier than expected.

Just feeling his finger teasing you could bring you to an orgasm, but Nanami had different plans. He slipped in two fingers, earning a soft mewl from you. His fingers were large, easily stretching you out as he got you ready for his cock.

It wasn’t until you felt yourself close to an orgasm was when Nanami finally pulled out. Damn tease.

The feeling of a cock rubbing between your folds caused you to flinch as you gripped at the wall as some type of support. This position wasn’t the most comfortable but you were way too horny to walk to the bedroom or couch. You wanted him now.

Nanami was slow as he thrusted his cock inside your tight cunt. He grunted as you gasped, trying to get used to the large stretch. His fingers didn’t compare to it! Even though you were prepared, it took some effort for him to fully be inside of you.

You shivered, suddenly thinking that you were essentially fucking your dad’s ‘coworker.’ Fuck, well, maybe a few pouts and batting of the eyelashes will get you off with minimal punishment.

“Fuck… I’m sorry,” Nanami suddenly whispered.

“Mhm?”

With great force, your whole body was suddenly shoved against the wall once more as Nanami’s hands were on either side of your head, effectively caging you in. You felt him almost pull out fully until he slammed right back inside of you, causing you to cry out in shock.

You helplessly gripped at the wall for some sort of purchase as Nanami fucked into you like an animal. His hands gripped your hips tightly, moving you as if you were a fleshlight on his cock. The only sounds coming from his was animalistic grunts.

Your cunt clamped tightly around Nanami’s cock, as you tried to babble something but only moans left your lips. Nanami seemed so heavily into chasing his own orgasm at this point.

“Si…Sir… ‘m com..!” You tried to say but could only cry out as you felt your orgasm wash over you like a waterfall. Your fingers dug ineffectually into the wall as a way of purchasing yourself against Nanami’s harsh thrusts.

He continued going even after you came, his hips slapping against your sore ass. As his grip on your hips tightened to were it felt as if his fingers was digging into the skin, he slammed his hips one last time. His cock was deep inside when he finally cummed, coating your insides.

You shrieked, shocked that he came inside. The warm cum slowly seeped down your thighs as you felt your knees collapse but Nanami was quick to hold you up.

Nanami leaned against your back, breathing heavily. “Sorry… I didn’t mean for that happen..” he muttered. “Just lost control.”

You hummed, gently wiggling your butt. “Maybe I’m just that pretty.” You teased, looking back at Nanami. You giggled slightly, enjoying his unimpressed face.

A moan left your lips as you felt his cock slowly slide out before pushing back it. You stared at Nanami in shock, surprised an older man seemed to have a quick reload. He simply grinned.

You were screwed.

𖥸

You hummed softly as Nanami rubbed your sore butt cheeks, rubbing some cream on it to stop the pain. It had been just a few days after your birthday and now this “spanking” thing was constant.

And fucking. Very often.

Nanami was always cool and collected during your punishments but whenever he got his dick inside your pussy, he could never control himself properly. It was honestly funny. And a bit scary that he could do more than one round so quickly.

The most you two have done so far was three.

And that was just a few minutes ago.

“Hm, Blondie,” you still called him that outside of sex, “did I tell you about this huge centipede I saw in this abandoned building? It had red eyes and everything, it was like… human sized!”

Nanami’s calming massage suddenly stopped. You looked back and raised an eyebrow, wondering what was wrong. He was looking at you with wide eyes—which was shocking, Nanami never looked at you like that before.

Maybe being a Yakuza member didn’t mean he could handle it.

Well, shoot.

But you couldn’t help but think Nanami wasn’t shocked about the centipede.

More about that you saw it.

Huh. Yakuza members are weird.

ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

I think I made reader a bit weird lolol. Way longer than I thought it was going to be. I hope I did nanami justice, I have trouble writing him for some reason

Tag list: @the-ultimate-librarian @remdayz @flurrina @iwishtobeacrow @smellwell @kiiyoooo @chill-guy-but-cooler @tomoeroi @mello-life69 @rhetorical-conscience @tehyunnie @ofclyde

[asteroidtroglodyte]

Absolutely fascinated by the Fairy Walrus Discourse. Naturally, I have a take:

This actually is also a fantastic illustration of a truism about Telling Stories that we all implicitly know but rarely acknowledge aloud: the improbable is far less believable than the impossible.

When you invoke the impossible, you silence the critically thinking, reality checking, lie detecting circuitry. Simpler rules reign supreme.

The Walrus, however implausible, is a thing which is real, and so whatever narrative you imagine either precedes or follows the reveal will be constrained by the envelope of the possible.

This is a webbed site all about Narrative.

The person answering the door to a Fairy is in a fairy tale, and frankly most of us would be overjoyed to find ourselves in a fairy tale. Fairy tales have sensible rules, structures we understand, tropes we love and hate.

A Walrus on your doorstep is just one more giant reminder that the world is a maelstrom of chaos, incomprehensible in its complexity, full of moving parts which obey no narrative. It’s another dose of “what fresh hell is this?”

A Walrus on your doorstep is a burden. A Fairy on your doorstep is an escape.

[honeybleed]

content & warnings: female reader, nerd!armin x nerd!reader, black-coded reader, reader & armin are college students, suggestive and allusions to sex mdni

author’s note: lmao another reupload i say i can’t stand mr. arlert but i figured i’d repost this for ole times sake. it flopped the first time so let’s see.

word count: 1.6k

You hate men.

That’s a reoccurring thought you have when you actually have free time and go to any comic book store.

When you admire a comic that’s in mint condition behind the glass or a figurine, sooner or later some troglodyte will approach you and attempt to quiz you.

And sure enough, he appeared.

“Hello.” He said, starting off politely. Your guard was up but you maintained your pleasant demeanour.

“Hi…” You said, a smile plastered on your face.

"Are you thinking about purchasing that figure...?" He inquired his tone condescending, squinting his eyes.

"...If I was?" You shot back, masking your annoyance with a pleasant tone of voice.

“It’s a limited figure. There are only seven in existence as we speak, and I’d hate for it to go to somebody who isn’t a die-hard fan.” He responded.

“And what makes you think that I’m not?” You questioned, brows furrowing together.

He simply gave you a look up and down.

“A gut feeling.” He snarked.

“Sorry to bother you.” A gentle yet resolute voice called out behind you.

You turned to face whoever that was and you were met with vivid, crystalline eyes.

“I couldn’t help but notice your keychain-”

“Here it goes.” You thought to yourself. Now you were getting jumped by two at once.

“I have a matching one..” He chuckled.

Stuck.

The gentle features and pleasant grin of the man in front of you halted your defence mode.

“Oh!” You replied, attempting to regain your composure.

Your gaze was drawn to the keychain on his bag, his hand pulling it closer to give you a better look.

“Yeah.” He said with an earnest chuckle.

“That guy is an asshole.” Armin said bluntly as the two of you walked down the high street, out of the store. “I come here every Thursday, and without fail any cute girl that enters that shop, he’s got an entire quiz set up.”

You wrinkled your nose in disgust then sighed at the aspect of that going on any longer before Armin swooped in to save the day.

Then you looked up at him through your lashes and felt the urge to tease him. He was a familiar face on campus.

Professors and TAs both adored him since he always had something to add to the lesson.

He was articulate in his words, presenting concepts and deconstructing them.

There was no doubt he was one of the sharpest students in your college.

He was never condescending to those pupils who were hesitant about the subject. Support and clear walkthroughs that even professors could not provide.

“You think I’m cute, Armin?” You say, with a giggle.

“What am I, blind?” He responded with a snort. “Never took you for a compliment fisher.”

Your jaw went slack with disbelief at his dig.

“H-hey!” You stuttered, caught off-guard. “Am not!”

He had a smart mouth. You figured at first glance he was a pushover but boy were you wrong.

From then on, you met up with Armin every Thursday. The day he was free from his busy schedule.

You’d purposely begun to whisper to each other and cackle like hyenas to irritate the nerd bros you had clashed with in the comic book store.

Sometimes Armin would feel bold and do the lingering touches, like skimming a hand across your waist or full-on holding your hips when the store was busy which always made you swat his shoulder in annoyance and let out a disbelieving laugh.

Your relationship blossomed, and you went from just sometimes meeting up at that store, to spending the entire day over at his place building Lego sets and puzzles.

Card games were always an iffy one with Armin because he’d be sneaky and you always caught him out on it. And in response, he’d give you a sheepish smile and hold out his hands in defence.

“I wanna do something special for her.” He said as a passing comment to his best friend from childhood, Eren.

“What makes her so different from the other girls you bring over and geek out over nerdy crap?” Eren said with a derisive snort as his eyes were glued to the screen as his fingers flew over the game controller.

“Hey!” Armin protested, slightly irritated at Eren’s blunt comment pausing the game.

“Dude, whaaat?” Eren dragged out, glaring at Armin in irritation.

“So you’re gonna sit here and act like she hasn’t been hanging out with me for long?”

“Armin, I don’t give a crap about your love life!” Eren barked. “If she’s so special just amp up the nerdy shit.”

“Gee, thanks buddy.” Armin muttered, resuming the game. However, Eren’s words, albeit harsh spurred an idea within Armin.

He spent a week preparing this weekend excursion during both of your spring break.

When he first told about this vacation, he felt his pulse race as he saw the broad smile appear on your face.

Armin would do anything to make you happy.

In a place full of rare and exotic sea creatures, he couldn’t take his eyes off of you.

The way the light of the crystal clear waters illuminated your brown skin, the way your eyes glimmered in awe at the jellyfish floating across the tank.

The quiet hubbub of the hushed visitors whispering and humming added to his fixation on you.

He could’ve sworn at this very moment you two were the only people on the planet, let alone the aquarium.

As you both made your way deeper, you turned to look at the stingrays gliding through the waters.

“I still can’t forgive em.” You snorted as your eyes followed them.

“You hold grudges? Remind me to never cross you in the future.” Armin chortled.

“More like forgive but never forget.” You said. “Take that as a reminder, Arlert.”

“Duly noted.” He laughed as he put an arm around you and pulled you close.

Later on at the hotel you’re staying at, you’re just scrolling through your phone.

Your friends are blowing up your phone like crazy since the group’s resident misandrist going on a weekend trip with a man is the most outlandish shit they’d heard of in a long time.

Your palms are clammy, and there was slight unease in your stomach. You didn’t miss the way Armin’s repeatedly raked over your body throughout the entirety of the day.

You’d opted for something short since it was hot. And it wasn’t as if you were some sort of newbie. You and Armin went at it a few times.

But being away from everybody in a whole other state was new territory. And the look in those azure eyes of his was something you’d never seen before.

You bid your friends' goodnight, rolling your eyes at your best friends’ teasing, and rubbed your temples.

“What are they saying?” A voice suddenly calls out from behind the couch causing you to jolt from the seat.

“Why’d you sneak up on me like that, are you trying to give me a heart attack?!” You barked as your hand settled onto your chest.

“You’re so skittish today, like a deer. I don’t bite. Or do I…?” He says with a wink.

“Armin, please leave that Casanova act somewhere. It does not suit you..” You replied with a shaky laugh.

“Alright, alright.” He said, then the next thing you know his lips are on your neck and his hand is trailing up your shirt palming at one of your breasts.

It’s an awkward position, considering he’s crouched over the couch whilst you’re sat there but it feels too good for you to even think about that.

“Armin…” You finally say, breath hitching. “What are you-”

“Making you feel good, mhm?” He says with smugness in his tone, letting his teeth graze over the skin which makes you shudder and let out an embarrassing whiny sound.

“But…”

“But what, pretty girl? I know you wanted this for so long. So just let me, I’ll take care of you.”

You nod, then gesture for him to sit beside you on the couch. From there the almost predatory look in his eyes from earlier translated into his actions.

His hands were almost everywhere, tugging at your clothes and rushing you. Under normal circumstances, you would’ve checked him but it was flattering to see how badly he wanted you.

Your skin heat up from the way his palms slid across every curve and dip.

How he yanked you close to messily meet his lips, and he bit at your plump glossed lips, whining and groaning into the kiss.

When you pulled away for air, the obscene sight of Armin’s face scrunched up in downright neediness as his fist bunched your top and the string of saliva connecting the two of you made you shudder.

Your breaths were becoming shallow as the feeling of his pants getting tight underneath your clothed core pushed further and further into you.

Armin’s movements were jerky as he whimpered uncontrollably, unable to string a coherent sentence together.

Completely contrasting to the suave persona he was pushing only a few minutes ago.

Begging and pleading for more of you, as pink dusted across his cheeks and beads of sweat began to trickle down his forehead.

Throwing your head back, the feeling of you rolling your hips into clothed friction made you dizzy with lust.

He was chanting your name, that was the only thing he could muster out for a moment.

“Please, please, please..” He breathed out, voice pleading. “Let me feel all of you, it’s all I want..” A storm brewing in those eyes.

Soon enough, he was knocked out his arms snaked around your waist and head resting on your chest. Bodies sticky but you didn’t care.

You hate men. But perhaps Armin Arlert is an exception.

author’s note: rip steve irwin ✊🏽😔 also this was the keychain

[charlietheepicwriter7]

I'm obsessive over my Constantine Jr Au (which still needs a fic name for, I'm open to suggestions) because

this is a cranky danny. he's spent years fighting with no end in sight, with parents who he can't trust and his only companions never truly understanding what he's going through.

he vapes CBD for the pain he's constantly in. he drank alco/hol once to help him sleep, but his parents smelt it on his breath and, just like with their research, took that to believe EVERYTHING they'd ever suspected about danny to be true: that he drinks, he does dru/gs, he's in a gang. the only thing they've never suspected their son of--being a ghost--is the one thing he actually does.

then, right on the cusp of eighteen and freedom, he gets outed. AND transformed into a seven-year-old.

this is not a danny who is willing to play at being a child. and if anyone tries to, they're in for a foul time.

Danny was 17, transformed into a 7 year old and hides in Bludhaven, and is 8 when the police finally figure out that, hey, this weird kid who keeps altering us to crime scenes is usually right on the money about who the killer is, we should investigate that. Officer Grayson is on the case!

And discovers that he absolutely can't STAND this kid.

He thought he liked kids! Everyone thought he liked kids! but this kid...

This isn't called the Constantine Jr AU because Danny is a supernatural detective, or because Danny might be Constantine's kid. Its because Danny is an unrepentant little bas/tard and he makes it everyone's problem.

Danny vapes and blows bubblegum smoke in Grayson's face.

He takes out a flask and Grayson's grabs it, learning its full of orange juice. Danny then takes out a second flask, this one with vod/ka.

He wears a trenchcoat he found in the trash (the same trenchcoat Nightwing wears in DC vs Vampires, if you know you know) but the end and the sleeves are cut off for his hands and legs. the pockets are roughly around his knees.

Grayson is desperate to figure out more about this kid, but he doesn't go to batman because, time-line wise, this is right before red hood starts running around. Jason is dead/alive-in-hiding, Tim is Robin, and Dick is mad about it. (ages-- Bruce: ? Nightwing: 24 Jason: 19 Tim: 15 Danny: 8 Damien: 7-8)

he doesn't really bond with the kid until they're both kidnapped by a gang for hostages, and Danny's big kid emotions get a hold of him (he thought he could escape them bc he's an adult, he's gone through worse, but nope! child brain chemistry). Grayson is worried that he's hurt and in pain, but Danny confesses that he's always in pain. he has nerve damage all over his body, and the only thing he really trusts is CBD. He feels like shit for taking his juul away, but more importantly, because he's been treating Danny like a irritant and just a little kid.

they get rescued and Grayson tries to take him back to his home, but Danny reveals he's homeless, saying something like "I sleep where it suits me, just drop me off whereever."

Absolutely not, Grayson is taking kid back to his place for a bed, food, and a shower, in whatever order the kid wants.

Danny stays semi-perminantly at his apartment, but Nightwing tries not to push it, because this kid practically screams flight risk. unfortunately, the paparazzi have nothing better to do and snap a pick of Grayson and Danny getting dinner together, speculating that Dick's taken after Bruce

Danny doesn't care too much; I think his ghost form is the same, if glitchy, so his parents don't know about the deaging. Grayson is mildly panicking, but its not like he HASN'T been considering adopting the evil troglodyte. Even Bruce, Tim, and Alfred aren't the problem.

No, the problem is the Red Hood, a crime boss who just cut 8 people's heads off, seeing what looks like Nightwing pulling an innocent kid into the neverending fight against crime and Seeing Green.

Edit: Had to censor sh!t because ths wasn't showing up in the tags

[herpsandbirds]

Could you do Cobb’s wren? :D

Mais bien sur mon petit chou.

Cobb's Wren (Troglodytes cobbi), family Trogolodytidae, order Passeriformes, found in isolated locations of the Falkland Islands

This species was once thought the be a subspecies of the House Wren, but is now considered to be a distinct species. They are very closely related, probably sharing a common ancestor with the House Wren (or having descended from a population of House Wrens).

photograph by Andres Vasquez Noboa

photograph by Cindy Marple

[kermitthesog]

All the series combined, (pjo, hoo, toa) I think Trials of Apollo might be my favorite. I’ve said Heroes of Olympus for a while, but after finishing toa, I was actually really sad in a way that I wasn’t with the other series. This is my reasoning: *TOA SPOILERS AHEAD*

Lester/Apollo’s narration and character development was top notch. In The Hidden Oracle, at first I thought the book series was gonna be full of arrogance and whining. Oh, how it was the complete opposite. He went through stuff that no other god will ever go through. Pain, and grief. The empty feeling of not being yourself anymore. And he finally realized how the gods are, how clueless they have been about mortals and demigods. Everything that happened in toa was just building up to the perfect Apollo, the Apollo that’s not in fact perfect.

The characters. Like, these characters are so good? First of all, they are so fleshed out. Meg McCaffrey, who saw her own father dead and got mentally abused by the emperor who killed him. “The Beast,” was just himself, but Meg was too scared of him to stand up for herself. And like, how is an arrow kind of making me empathize with it? The arrow of Dodona was supposedly the worst piece of wood in the forest, and so Lester needed to prove the others wrong, and I think he did. Especially in that final battle against Python.

The amount of different stories and adventures. Obviously you would have sooo many adventures, because you need to get a different oracle in each one! In every single one, we’re introduced to a new character and new goal. It doesn’t really start in the first one, as it’s just introducing the main characters. In the second one, it’s Emmie, Jo, Calypso, and Leo. In the third one, it’s Piper, Jason, and Grover. In the fourth one, it’s Lavinia, Reyna, Hazel, and Frank (a lot of characters from SoN). In the last one, it’s just a lot of chb campers. Will, Nico, the Troglodytes, and more. See what I mean? There are so many different stories in just one series.

And lastly, how powerful it is. The fact that it could make me cry is impressive, because I don’t cry at much (book and movie wise). Jason’s death, Lester’s misery, Meg’s abuse, and so much more. It’s just so sad but powerful at the same time. If you prefer a different series, (PJO, HOO, TOA) then tell me why!

[little-fairy-forest]

Troglodyte

-> meaning someone who enjoys being alone

bakugo x gn!reader, fluff, soft hours

The quietness of the dorms past curfew was a rare experience few managed to experience. Aizawa was fast asleep after curfew, only waking if the alarm went off or to do his patrol around the dorms to get and people lingering.

But, here you were yet again basking in the silence of the dorm kitchen late into the night as you wait for your hot drink to be ready before you slip back into your dorm for the night. The past week has killed you. From mountains of homework to tests to over doing it one too many times during hero training.

You managed your time well so that you have the rest of the evening to relax before getting a good night's sleep. Many of your classmates are either training, doing homework/study or off somewhere in the town. Many students had the same schedule they followed each day after school so you knew when the kitchen would be empty so you could get your drink in peace.

Until tonight

Familiar thumping footsteps echoed through the hall, coming into the kitchen and common room. You didn't bother to turn to see who it was as you knew 'not to poke the bear' when he obviously wasn't able to sleep at his regular time. You didn't want an early grave.

"Can you pass me a mug?"

...what? why was he speaking to you??

You passed Bakugo a mug without a word, stirring your drink in hopes to make it faster to get out of his way. He had other plans

"You not studying with the idiots?" Bakugo asks as he prepares a warm glass of milk. Why did he want a conversation with you?

"No I finished my work earlier..." you say in a quiet voice as you turn to face Bakugo. Was he sick? why did he look flushed? Maybe there's medicine around somewhere-

"Yea you've always been a smart worm huh" he laughs to himself as he leans against the countertop facing you as you stand awkwardly with your drink in your hand. Why is he still talking to you??

"I didn't score that high in the midterms, I hope I do better this term," you say taking a sip of your drink, smiling to yourself as it tastes just the way you want it to.

"course' ya will dumbass," Bakugo says as he grabs his drink taking a sip himself. A small milk line coated his upper lip. You smile and laugh quietly as you never thought you'd see the big scary bakugo with a milk moustache on your nightly drink scavenger. Bakugo looks at you confused, not in a 'pissed' way, but more of a 'explain what's funny' way.

"You have a little something on your lip Bakugo" you say laughing a little more as you watch him wipe it in embarrassment, cursing to himself as he goes red.

"whatever," he says trying to play it off. secretly he is enjoying hearing you laugh as you're so quiet. You've weirdly taken his interest. Especially after the midterm assessment, he never knew you were so badass in battle

"Let me know if you need a study partner, sick of teachin' the idiots basic shit" Bakugo says as he turns away from you knocking back the last of his drink. Silently hoping you say yes

"Really? I do need help with some older Japanese heros that came up in hero basics" You say as if this was your chance to learn it from someone in person instead of videos online. Bakugos' true intentions went right over your head, unfortunately...

Bakugo wanted to spend some time with you but he didn't want the others to think the wrong idea! because god forbid bakugo asks someone he finds attractive interesting out on a date day out. Studying is a great go-to for two people who like comfortable silence as they enjoy their own company.

Maybe late night talks in the kitchen isn't so bad :)

This was shit get over it

-> masterlist

[yikimiki]

Ok but what about popular bully!eren x popular cheerleader bully! Reader??? They find out about each other by some other people and they end up together

⚠️ quick warnings for descriptions of bullying, reader is a little bitchy and mean but Eren is fully a horrible douchebag. Mentions of misogyny, harassment, etc. Smut. Mentions of weed. Bickering.

I did a little twist. They kind of hate each other lol

-

You fucking hate Eren Jaeger before you even get the displeasure of meeting him — his reputation is a cloud of putrefaction that reaches people before he has the pleasure to do so. And you’ve seen him around the halls of the campus, terrorizing freshmen and borderline harassing girls until they basically run away from him and his group of troglodytes. You’ve seen it all. So you have a good amount of evidence to know that he’s a total douche.

Not that you can judge — most people would say the same stupid things about you. Though you like to believe that you and Eren aren’t of the same breed. He’s a stupid bully. You just like to give unwanted constructive criticism that ends up giving people a new perspective about life. And if they can’t handle the heat and, like, transfer schools or take meds or whatever, that’s simply not on you. But you would never hit another guy for a minor inconvenience. You’re so much better than that.

The point is that you hate — hate, hate, hate! — Eren. And you hate even more that he steals all the attention away from you every time that his stupidly pretty face appears anywhere. And you hate that he looks at you at every game you cheer, hate that you like the way his eyes move up your mini skirt. You hate that you crave his attention so badly, and hate even more that it’s become a pathetic habit.

“Thought you’d at least pretend as if you’re hard to get,” Eren mumbles, all heavy eyes and slurred words, as you place yourself on top of his thighs. You roll your eyes and decide to ignore him, instead working on undoing the zipper of his jeans. He chuckles. “God, you’re fucking horny. Are you in heat or what?”

“Don’t pretend as if you don’t want to fuck me, Jaeger. I bet this is the first pussy you get since someone had enough pity to pop your cherry years ago,” you say, rushing to push the fabric down his thighs. “Now shut up.”

You two have less than twenty minutes before someone notices your mutual absence and a crowd gathers in front of the one house bathroom that has been suspiciously closed for a long time. The downsides of popularity, you guess. And no way in hell you’re letting your reputation — and your flings with half of the football team — be thrown into the trash like it’s nothing. Especially for someone as gross as—

“Eren!” You hiss, a shock running through your body as his fingers plunge inside your pussy. He’s quick, even stoned out of his mind, and it took him less than a second to push your panties aside. “You’re fucking gross.”

“Hm, right,” he says, one hand landing on your shoulder. Eren presses down hard, and you get down on your knees — yeah, you got the message. “I like you more when your mouth is full.”

“Gross,” you repeat.