axrynic

[axrynic]

Unpopular opinion but if you don't enjoy the process you should find a different thing to do.

And I think this is true in general but now I'm talking about it in the context of AI.

If you don't enjoy making art and only care about the end piece and how it'll look and how much traction it"lol get online then making art is not something for you, find something you enjoy from start to finish.

Same goes for writing: if you do not enjoy writing and rewriting and then some more and instead want AI to write for you, being a writer is not something you should pursue.

Sure, not every part of creative process is going to be equally enjoyable but you should get satisfaction from solving the problems along the way and you should get a sense of accomplishment on your way of "making the piece yours" and you should have a sense of ownership once you are done.

None of these things will come from typing in a prompt into chatGPT. And I am sad to see so many people are missing on the opportunity to experience the joy of making something with their own hands and brains.

Just give it a try and if you don't like it don't do it again.

But also don't let the expectations of it coming out perfect ruin the fun you are having while making the thing. Because what if I told you this: having fun while creating is the actual purpose of the creative process, not whatever comes out of it.

[axrynic]

Hey internet neighbors, a loong note from me the artist, that I would prefer be a journal entry, but I think it will be helpful for me to post if I am to move forward in any online capacity.

I've been divesting from social media and the internet in general the past couple months, and my mental health and general sense of direction and purpose and connectedness has improved so much that I want to keep removing myself from the internet more and more. I don't want to be thinking I'm self important enough that random people are wondering about when I'm going to make new art, but I also feel a sense of apology or need for explanation.

Going through health issues and having surgeries and ER visits and not making art for months helped me realize the extent that I got burned out from making mostly caitvi fandom smut and now I'm just gonna paint landscapes like Bob Ross on physical canvas. Literally. Or maybe paint food. i don't know. But no more fictional characters. No more digital art for a while. I need something tangible. And I need it to be my own.

It's the consumerism and social media trends and fandom policing and attention economy and puritanical conservative ideologies and lack of media literacy and rejection of expertise and prescription over description and limited imaginations and neoliberalist stories masquerading as revolutionary and finding your niche and overidentifying with characters and lack of useful critique and knowing your audience and posting schedules like who the fuck is able to feel truly artistic and creative under these circumstances?? Even the motivation for developing my technical skill I felt withering because in the context of AI's antagonism toward the meaningful labor of creation, there's no fucking point.

The only way I will survive creatively is a rejection of this reality. Of industry and productivity. I want to create what feels new and inspiring. True escapism into a world we could have. A world without limiting beauty standards, or celebrity, the thousands of personal preferences projected onto an artist's personal expression. The only way is not to post. Not to document. Reduce the self and public surveillance on the art. I want to hierarchy my intimacy and vulnerability away from parasocial relationships and public yet anonymous personas.

I'm tired of trying to document the intangible. I need to focus on my purpose- how am I making the world around me better and easier to live in? Who and how does this help? What does my art contribute to? Positively and negatively? Representation matters and is not enough for me. I've chosen to work as a therapist because animation was not enough for me. I need my art to support my efforts to help people with healing. Painting an ecosystem without capitalism and colonization seems much more revolutionary than muscular light skinned cop characters having kinky sex. Who is going to feed the revolution? What am I fighting towards? Why even are words of effort framed within violence?

What do I want to grow towards?

[axrynic]

Commission WIP:

I consider this an "ugly" stage- here you've committed to go past a sketch and things are blocked out, but sooo far away from the final vision. To get through this stage it's helpful to zoom out zoom out to keep the final, whole, idea of the image in mind, because otherwise you get trapped wrestling with the details- as you can see happen to me a little with Lightning's face. Don't try to rush towards one part being locked down and looking done- you'll get rigid, which will make creative problem solving more difficult.

[axrynic]

Did some jinx studies - gosh I haven't been good at cross posting haha truly best place to follow is patreon! I'm posting more to public/free members instead of other social media platforms

[axrynic]

I want to draw her more

[axrynic]

Last post of the year! Commission from @antsstyle on twt of Lightning x Fang from FF13!

Comms open | Patreon

[axrynic]

Older Ciri!

[axrynic]

CaitVi f@ce s!t WIP 6: got to a happy place with Vi's face and settled on the color palette. full for chili and ghost pepper tiers :333

Patreon link | Comms: Open

[axrynic]

It's what the file name says 👀

Patreon | Commissions

[axrynic]

Close ups of a piece I'm revisiting from earlier this year. Their season 2 looks happily solved some composition struggles 😊

Full on patreon ✨

[axrynic]

made another in honor of season 2. everyone sucks. i love them.

[axrynic]

Finally saw ACT ONE

[axrynic]

#CaitViKinktober day one: edging!

HD & unglazed on schmatreon 💦

[axrynic]

🍑

Fun color commission of Piltover's Finest having a playful squeeze🍑

I can't believe we get to see them again in just a few days TvT

Commissions: open | Patreon

[axrynic]

Fun color commission of Piltover's Finest having a playful squeeze🍑

I can't believe we get to see them again in just a few days TvT

Commissions: open | Patreon

[axrynic]

Public service announcement! Vi WANTS YOU

to bind safe. I stg we do not need another generation of bb trans folks messing themselves up because a character looks cool binding with bandages.

[axrynic]

WIP of a commission!

Patreon | Commission: open