barleyboneslife - Tumblr blog

[barleyboneslife]

Also even though I’m eating going to the bathroom is so difficult and lax is not working. HELP.

[barleyboneslife]

I actually want to murder myself I’ve been eating so much I’m so bloated but I can’t escape my family and they make sure I eat. Ugh. But I’m gonna try slowly eating less.

[barleyboneslife]

The plan is gain a couple pounds while moving bc I can’t hide my eating habits, once this is over I’ll go back and restrict like I used too. Gonna start doing massive hikes to burn calories

[barleyboneslife]

I can’t believe I’m moving across the country tomorrow.

[barleyboneslife]

I keep self harming I don’t have an outlet they all think I’m crazy. I have a nice job and I’m working for a better life. I don’t think I’ll ever be good enough.

I’m never t sober but when am I ever

[barleyboneslife]

Literally wish I still had people bully me about my weight now all they say is how thin I’ve gotten. I wish I still had that motivation.

I am enjoying the light headed buzz I have going on rn. It’s one of my favorite things, hopefully that will motivate me. At this point I just need to get back down too 117. I could literally do it in a week if I’d stop being such a baby.

[barleyboneslife]

I actually want to die, everyone around me keeps talking about my body and my weight. I’m going absolutely insane how do you guys deal with the guilt. I’ve been guilt eating and I’m Fucking loosing my mind. I have never been big on binging. But I just keep eating bc I feel so guilty ab not eating bc they all make me feel horrible.

I don’t eat and then I feel good, then they say something and I feel guilty. I eat so that I feel less guilty about starving myself. Then I feel guilty about eating so I start hating myself and starve for another 24 hrs. I feel insane, I really don’t know what to do recovery doesn’t feel possible, but i don’t feel sick bc I keep eating. Shoot me

[barleyboneslife]

My heart skips a beat everytime, not sure if it’s from the question or the amount of caffeine in my system

[barleyboneslife]

are you ever just ok with eating at normal maintenance cals for a while,

then you open youtube.....

eugenia cooney in your recommendations.....

then suddenly you're back to 550 cals a day

[barleyboneslife]

Same

the way i’m so disgusted in myself rn, i was doing so great. gym every day and barely eating, i ate like complete shit this weekend and haven’t been to the gym in days.

[barleyboneslife]

With some oat milk or almond milk with flavor drops or 0 calorie sweetener. Would probably be pretty low cal definitely need too look into it.

[barleyboneslife]

I need some chia seeds bc they look very interesting in texture and I think I’d either eat them and be grossed out and lose my appetite or they’d be really filling. Either way I definitely need some.

[barleyboneslife]

I fasted for 25 hrs but literally couldn’t fall asleep so I ravenously tore apart the kitchen and ate like 1700 calories in 20 minutes I regret it so much but hopefully now I can sleep. Anyways started another fast, I should do better this time. 

[barleyboneslife]

Noted bc my ass as literally disappeared, just too embarrassed to do this with my boyfriend home.

if your ass has completely disappeared or was never there in the first place, daisy keech's "QUAERINTINE BUBBLE BUTT WORKOUT" is fuckinng sick asf, like istg you will IMMEDIETLY see results (or at least I did) IT ALSO IS BURNING UP MY CELULITE AND UNDER BUTT FAT!!! which for has been so difficult to do, ik not everyone wants the same bodytype so to officaly clarify what this does it makes your ass bigger, and your thighs smaller.

Side fire hydrants are so effectful for back thigh fat

Everyday ive been doing:

daisy keech's "bubble butt workout" x2

Sanner Vander's "how to get lean legs like kendel jenner" workout x2

1 min sumo squat x5 200 leg scissors (not up and down, sidetoside)

200 cals on bike (minimum) {more too that i just randomly do, should really start writing that down mb}

ive been binging lately :( and istg some of the fat ive already burned off is already back which is AHHHHH SO ANNOYING, SOOO IF YOU WANT LEAN LEGS AND A NICE ASS, CONTROLL YOURSELF!!! but also take care of yourself and stay hydrated, your doing great!

[barleyboneslife]

My boyfriend has been non stop feeding me and I really wish he’d stop I can’t deny food bc he knows about my ed. I’m dying bruh most the time he lets me do my own thing food wise but the past week he’s been such a pusher.

[barleyboneslife]

foods i allow myself to eat (making this post mostly for me, so i can look back when idk what to eat, before i reach for smth not on this list)

egg whites

knäkebröd (w low cal topping)

oatmeal

soup (tomato, 된장찌개/soybean paste stew, 김치찌개/kimchi stew, vegetable, chicken tortilla)

veggies (cucumbers, bell peppers, mushrooms, celery are my personal favorites)

apples or oranges

konjac noodles

0cal jelly

cauliflower rice

skyr

tuna

pickles

kimchi

protein bar/shake

broth

seaweed

rice cake/corn cake

[barleyboneslife]

As I get older this whole ed thing gets harder I want to be so engaged but it just doesn’t have the same sparkle.