battlestariroh

[battlestariroh]

My fan theory is that Rasputin actually was the Antichrist, but he screwed up by taking over Russia when it was ruled not from Moscow (a city built on seven hills) but Petersburg (a city built on who knows how many hills, maybe zero?). This threw off the whole prophecy, canceling the Apocalypse, só now we live in an uncharted alternate timeline.

[battlestariroh]

Barbie/Thomas the Tank Engine revelation

Só it's a well-known fact that Thomas the Tank Engine takes place in a fascist dystopia. See here for receipts: https://www.cracked.com/blog/thomas-tank-engine-horrible-racist-classist-monster

[Sir Topham Hatt literally immuring one of his subjects for disobedience, a punishment he can apparently impose without any due process whatsoever]

It occurs to me that during the scene in "Barbie" where Sasha calls Margot Robbie a fascist, Margot Robbie responds that she can't be a fascist because doesn't "control the railways":

["She thinks I'm a fasicst? I don't control the railways or the flow of commerce"]

Só it turns out that Mattel owns Thomas the Tank Engine along with Barbie:

Ergo, Margot Robbie must be referring to Thomas the Tank Engine when she says she can't be a fascist because she doesn't control the railways!

[battlestariroh]

December 15    └  Roslin/Adama Christmas calendar

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*Lee and Kara skipping stones on New Caprica*

Lee: It's such a beautiful evening.

Kara: Take that you frakking lake

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Taylor & capitalism have in common the fact that they both subsume all criticisms of themselves, turning any real or perceived negative into a profitable positive. It is this quality that makes Taylor só unstoppable: to hate her is to give her breath; to fight her is to give her strength. She is Caesar; she is Genghis; she is Napoleon. To paraphrase former Vice President Richard Milhous Nixon, "we're all Swifties now!"

[Taylor Swift labelled ‘true capitalist’ by fans over price of concert movie]

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Napoleon, calling himself “Emperor of the French” instead of “Emperor of France” to make it clear it’s all about the people:

[Leslie Knope winking & saying “I’m not like a regular mom; I’m a cool mom!]

[battlestariroh]

Today on “life imitates art”:

[screenshot of a tweet saying “If you get bitten by a shark, bite it back. You’ll still probably die but the shark will be like ‘lol what’” next to a real BBC report entitled “Australian farmer Colin Devereaux survives crocodile attack by biting back”]

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“Poc blocked” is a term I made up for when there’s five or six apocalypses happening at the same time, só they all block each other & none of them can end the world for a while, which is the period of history we’re all living thru right now

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Por que não os dois?

why do people insist on calling Hozier the bog father when we have Florence RIGHT THERE telling us to call her demon daddy

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Boy math is calling a conflict fought from 1754 to 1763 “the Seven Years War”

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Só if Hozier falls in love, just a little, oh a little every day with someone new; & Florence goes from road to road, bed to bed, lover to lover; how long until they do this with one another?

[battlestariroh]

he's a national treasure actually

[battlestariroh]

okay so re: lobster immortality there's got to be a way to crack this. like, they've done half the work already, yeah? they don't age, they grow until they are no longer able to muster the energy to shed.

i see three issues. the first is the square-cube law. proportional growth becomes exponential for volume and surface area. if allowed to grow indefinitely, a lobster will quickly find itself overly burdened by gravity. this can be fixed by launching it into space. an orbital aquarium, perhaps lunar as a temporary measure.

secondly, as the creature grows larger, it will likely require more nutrients than it can feasibly absorb. this is easibly fixable through cybernetic implants, adding new methods of intaking nourishment as necessary.

and finally, the molting. the thing is that you can't just, like, help it molt when it can't do it by itself. it has to initiate the process, form an exoskeleton under its current one, or breaking its shell will kill it. you have to make its metabolism think it has enough energy to molt, then provide at least enough energy for it to actually manage the first part while you handle the second. the solution here is obviously cocaine. or the lobster equivalent of cocaine.

of course, a lobster under these conditions would still very likely take hundreds of years to grow. it would not be a project a single human could see through. unless they did something crazy like transfer their consciousness into the lobster's brain. but that's veering just a bit too far into the hypothetical.

so what i'm saying is that a cocaine-fueled cyborg titan lobster deployable from orbit may not be a benefit of being a marine biologist, but it *may* be a benefit of being a marine biologist's great-great-great-great-great-grandchild.

[battlestariroh]

Tired: 101 Dalmatians

Wired:

[photo of a horde of golden retrievers with the caption “Why Did 488 Golden Retrievers Gather in Scotland?”]

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[battlestariroh]

Anti-aging cult

Thinking about starting a cult that promises eternal youth to its most observant followers. I’ll call it “Pray the Grey Away”!

[battlestariroh]

...and some have greatness thrust upon them!