bensbitterblog

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The Invasion of the Midges BFG's

When I was only 6 or 7 years old, I remember watching a horrible TV movie about a spider invasion. A little girl was on a swing and horde of Tarantula’s were crawling just underneath her swing. Clearly, it had a impact on me enough to remember it, but surprisingly, it didn’t scar me for life. Which is funny to me, because this trait didn’t pass down to my daughter. She has called me up to her…

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Slogging through the Third Act BFG's

I listen to a lot of podcasts and watch a bunch of You Tube videos about story structure. Not because I need help, since you know I’m a world class blogger that has mastered the art of writing, but because I can’t help but criticize their incompetent and useless advice. I would start my own podcast about story structure, but I don’t like to share, and also I don’t have a good microphone. The…

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Manipulation Techniques BFG's

Hey everyone, I know no one really cares, because my stats have been down since 2018, and my blog is so underground that the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles can find it, but right now, I am writing you from distant past (Thursday). Let’s be honest, lately this blog has been much like a Twitter/X account for non-famous people. It’s like talking to an empty room. No matter what my audience becomes, or…

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Vacation Request BFG's

Three years ago, I went to Scotland and became a Scottish Lord. I didn’t know that part of becoming a Scottish Lord, was all these Scottish Lord responsibilities. As a Scottish Lord, you are taken on a tour of the country, in which you must to visit all these historical royal castles and palaces, and visit the jails and crown jewels within the walls of the castles. You are also taken on a hunting…

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Waste of Space BFG's

It is April 18th, only a few days before Easter, so it’s spring! Are you so excited? The trees are in bloom, the birds are singing, the frogs are in love, and the sun, oh the sun. It’s brighter than ever! WRONG! April Fools month! The trees are just as horrible as ever. They are still the menace to society they’ve always been, littering leaves and branches everywhere, and breaking powerlines…

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Non Sensical Things BFG's

I used to enjoy my birthday. When I first started working at a radio communications company in Seattle, I would harass people at work by telling them starting in January, my birthday was only 4 months away. The older I got, the more I realized that my birthday was basically about avoiding calls from my 4 siblings, parents, and the few other people that know I even exist. My greatest flex from…

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52 Reasons why I'm Bitter

What can I say about the number 52? According to Wikipedia, the most reliable source on the planet, 52 is: A composite number, a square prime, the 5th bell number, within an aliquot sequence of seven composite numbers and untouchable number a noncototient a vertically symmetrical number the number of cards in a standard deck of playing cards Ray Lewis wore it as his jersey number In…

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Acting!

When I was younger, I was sold this really great lie that if you went to college, you would get a really good job afterwards. Yet there I was, post graduated, working at a movie theater. Don’t get me wrong, I liked working at the movie theater. I got free movies, free popcorn as I wanted, and I got to see all the bad acting I wanted. When I say bad acting, I meant my co-workers. College was…

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March 2025 Stats

Mike, See attached for the Monthly Stats for the Bing ads for the month of March 2025. The spend for this month was a bit high, but revenue was also up. ROAS was down from last month, but was up from January. By adding some new campaigns of some of our higher selling supplements and updating keywords on some currently high selling campaigns we did have growth from last month. We have some big…

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After Math BFG's

When I was living in Long Island, New York, I have a core memory of a particular day at school. One of my co-students got sick with this mysterious disease that freaked everyone’s parents. All the parents decided that they wouldn’t let their kids go to school the next day, because reasons I guess. I’m almost positive that it wasn’t contagious, and the kid didn’t go to school, but somehow people…

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Voices in my Head BFG's

I was so busy hanging out in my head yesterday that I forgot that the NCAA Basketball tournament was going on. I used to care about it when I was younger, but now I can barely manage to fill out a bracket, let alone care about any of the games. Besides, there is a better chance of everyone on earth moving to Saturn next year than anyone getting a perfect bracket, so I don’t know why I even…

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Industry Plant BFG's

For some reason, there are people in this world that like to garden. Some say it’s because they like to get fresh vegetables from their garden. Others say it’s because they like digging in dirt. Still others say they it’s their therapy, or their way of relaxing. I have counterpoints to each of those terrible reasons. Video games are much better therapy, and a much better way to relax, especially…

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Soft as the Other Side of the Pillow BFG's

Most of my opinions are unpopular, but this is one that most people oppose. I like Monday’s waaaay better than I like Tuesday’s or even Wednesday’s. I’ve talked about this before, but it was 13 years ago when I started this blog, so I think I can duplicate an opinion every once in a while. Garfield can come at me for that, because I’m not scared of him, so bring it. Garfield. Like I’m scared of…

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Background Character Energy BFG's

I’ve never been good at remembering words in a sequence. When it comes to singing along to a song, I can belt out a chorus, but as soon as the lyrics come, I’m mumbling some new words that never existed. When I was in 3rd grade, I was forced to have a part in a play and I spent a week trying to memorize my line, “The guy is over there,” and I still needed the drama teacher to tell me my…

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Roller Coaster Ride BFG's

Have you ever felt like you were supposed to have grown up in a different family, a different era, or city, and you were just soooo close to being in that one era, but just like in some romantic comedy, you keep just missing that opportunity that would have made you rich, or that one job that would have satisfied you, or that one person that would have given you meaning? But that opportunity just…

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Text Chaining BFG's

My kids will never know a world where texting doesn’t exist. The first time I tried to text was a pretty awful experience. I had the basic-est of phones, a silver, rectangular Nokia that only had a tiny screen and a number pad. People kept telling me that you could type words that made sentences on your phone and they would magically appear to another persons phone. They said it was easier than…

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Hacking Into Prison BFG's

I’ve always tried my best to stay out of prison. I’m claustrophobic, for goodness sakes. I can’t possibly imagine having to spend all my time in a 6 ft. X 8 ft. room for most of the day. Also, I’m an introvert. If I was forced to speak to people all the time, like having listening to a prison guard tell me to get on my knees so he can beat me, that would suck, because I’d rather he just beat me,…