bionicarmcandy

[bionicarmcandy]

Is it rant time ? Oh yes it is.

I used to think that reader insert maybe weren’t at the same level as “normal” fics you know ? Like maybe more self-indulgent (while really ALL fanfictions are self-indulgent, it’s kind of the point haha), and of less quality and …Well that’s such bullshit. 

Writing a “reader insert” (not self insert) or a “normal” fic takes as much effort. You still have to know the characters, and the world they’re from. And it’s still writing, there’s no form of writing that is easier than the other. Writing is difficult no matter what. One isn’t superior to the other. I wrote a LOT of “normal” fanfictions, but I find that maybe I enjoy writing reader inserts more because I like to involve the reader directly in the story ya know ? And keeping said reader as “neutral” as possible physically (it’s a bit tougher mentally, nobody wants to read about an emotionless plank haha), so anyone can join in and feel represented, I just like it. Now because of how insecure I am 24/7, I often thought that maybe yes indeed, reader insert weren’t as good as “normal fics” for some reasons, because so many people hinted as such… but man was I just wrong. I’m gonna be honest, it’s mainly because of the asks I receive about my fics that I slowly started to think that yeah, no, reader insert are as valid and tough to write as any other fics. And not below “normal” fics. It’s just like as if you were adding your OC really, which “normal ficer” (haha) always do so what’s up ? Anyway. 

All that to say that there ISN’T any sort of hierarchy in writing fanfictions. There isn’t a “genre” above others. Writing is ALWAYS difficult, no matter what type of thing you write. Like come on, so many people already think Fanfictions aren’t a valid genre of literature while we all know it’s not true and some fanfics are better than books and all ? Plus many big literature classics are in fact, fanfics ? So why are we having this same mindset amongst each others ?! It makes no sense my dudes. This weird need so many people have to be the “best” and to feel superior truly ruins a lot of thing in fandoms. Jeez.

[bionicarmcandy]

[bionicarmcandy]

[bionicarmcandy]

am I the only one who desperately wishes we got to see Bucky’s reaction to a fucking god with a giant axe, a man tree, and an armed raccoon dropping into wakanda out of a giant fucking pride flag?

[bionicarmcandy]

Son of Darkness pt.2

Kylo Ren/Ben Solo x Reader

She never thought a job with The First Order would bring her face-to-face with Kylo Ren, but when it does, she discovers that there is more to the son of darkness than people think. (Part two of two)

AN: So this part ended up being significantly shorter than part 1, so I apologize for that. I really hope you enjoy it because I sure enjoyed writing it :))) Part one under_ #son of darkness pt.1_

“It’s you isn’t it? You’re tormenting me.”

They stood maybe six yards apart and were completely facing the other.

He struggled, rapidly clenching and unclenching his right fist. “I’m not tormenting you. I steered you away from the general’s advances. I coaxed you out of your nightmare.”

“Out of all the people here, out of all your followers….I don’t understand why you chose me.”

“You’re not like the others.” It’s like the words choked him as he attempted to give them to her, and oh how he needed her to hear them. “You’re….good. It’s not something that’s overly abundant.”

He looked at her, with her hair down around her shoulders. The same stars dancing around in her eyes as his.

“You say that as if you can’t see the same in yourself.”

Kylo scoffed. Her eyes softened and she took her calming advance on his. Suddenly something in him perked and he himself took a few steps toward her. When they stopped there was maybe a couple yards in between them.

“I haven’t been able to get you out of my head since I saw you on the bridge. Where I looked into you and saw something I hadn’t seen for a long time. You care about things; your family. You’re real.”

All she could do was look at this man with soft eyes, trying to understand how someone like this got so sad.

“I’ve never had an inclination to share what is mine. I’ve not had a lot to my name. I’ve not had someone to myself.” Her words feathered against his cheek, his face reddening as she stepped closer to him. Behind her supposed articulate facade she was putting on, she was terrorfied. This man was known for his unpredictability and his unforeseeable torment. Yet, she closed the majority of the distance between them, just enough room for him to finish the job.

“So I’ll ask you, Kylo Ren….” She trailed. “What does the son of darkness hope to gain from me?”

Her question was genuine. It was obvious that he was used to taking anything he wanted, there had been no one to tell him no. So naturally, his declination to take that action now against her was intriguing. Her honest curiosity fanned the flames he already held for her. He hesitated for a moment before he stepped forward and closed the space between them. His lips met hers and he kissed her soft and gently before stepping back to see her reaction. She let it linger and settle, her lips remaining puckered, mind racing and trying to decipher what had just happened. When she came to, he was still gazing down at her, anxiously waiting for something to go off of.

It was her turn. With both hands around his neck, he stood on her toes and pressed onto his lips. This kiss began as the sun. This kiss was warm and trying to tell him something. He wasn’t alone. She was accepting him and wanted him. When Kylo realized what it meant, he took her into his gloved arms, pressing her against his chest while the kiss turned desperate. So much so that their bodies were curving into the other person’s. When she finally broke away for air, he trailed after her but ultimately set her back down to her feet. He watched her face as she tried to regain the bit of certainty she held beforehand. Her hands were on his chest for balance as she tried catching her breath.

She stewed in their connection just like he did, thinking of all the ways it could go wrong. Her mind hovered over their unfamiliarity and the recent nights where it felt as though he lay next to her. In that moment, a redeemable goodness radiated off of him, something she physically felt that eluded her of all the other possibilities. She raised a hand to brush along his jaw, his cheekbone, watching his eyelids close in ecstasy. He wanted her so much he could barely stand it. Before she knew it, she was lifted off her feet again, being carried off past a closed door. The moment her back hit the bed, feeling his warmth crawl over her, it was like her mind was racing against itself too fast to recount anything besides the way he held her against him or how his eyes continuously grazed her. She didn’t want him to stop and neither did he. Oh the way she moaned his name in his ear. The way she arched into his huge form, her back completely leaving the mattress. He pressed seering kisses into her neck and jaw, melting her more and more with each one. They drowned in the stars, underneath the sweaty sheets and above all the rest.

She stirred under the sunlight, barely opening her eyes before shutting them at the brightness of day. Her eyes closed again for a moment, which is when she became aware that everything in her ached. She relished in the ghost of his hands that still lingered on her arms, sides and thighs. She relished in the memory of the prior hours, the look on his face when he finally touched her. Now there she was, waking up in his bed with one huge arm trapping her against his chest. As the mattress began to shift, he groaned peacefully into her neck, obviously recounting the night before due to his slowly wandering hands. His silent gratitude brought his lips along her collarbone, traveling the length of her neck until his head rested in the crook, mouth against her flesh.

Thank you. It was silent, but she heard.

[bionicarmcandy]

Son of Darkness pt.1

Kylo Ren/Ben Solo x Reader

She never thought a job with The First Order would bring her face-to-face with Kylo Ren, but when it does, she discovers that there is more to the son of darkness than people think. (Part one of two)

AN: Part two under #son of darkness pt.2

It was just a job.

Just another way to send money back home to a family she wasn’t sure she would see again. But her position would keep them safe and off of the First Order’s radar. She’d lay low, do what she was told when she was told to do it. Just another worker bee in the hive or a tumbler in the machinery. No connections, no grudges nor freshly established enemies. She wasn’t naive and through its absence, she appeared intelligent. Things came to her as they would, yet she was almost always prepared.

Almost, being a key player.

Along with being intelligent and having a good head on her shoulders, she had also been told that she was incredibly beautiful. Not in a way that would completely floor those around her at a first glance, but in a way that would creep up on them like a sandstorm and bury them in her appearance if they lingered. This made working among a majority of men on a confined ship somewhat difficult at times. She had prepared for this and just as every other attractive woman, she had learned the ins and outs of the male mind through trial and error. It started with some troopers taking doubletakes and peered back at her over their shoulders. Continuing with officers smiling at her for a bit too long. These somewhat advances had no negative effect on her, nor should they have an affect on any woman with confidence if these types of situations stay benign. As long as they kept themselves out of her space, she allowed them to look as long as they liked. In a way it was flattering and made her walk a little taller.

She was weeks, maybe a few months, into her employment on the ship before she had even laid eyes on the son of darkness. Naturally, she had heard the stories. The tales of violent tantrums and unrequited tormentative advances towards the resistance. What sat with her the worst, though, was his supposed unpredictable torment of random officers. She assumed to never see him due to the fact that up until that day, she still had yet to. Therefore, these worries had retired.

She had been making deliveries that evening and was up on the bridge. All was quiet, peaceful, even….and then there came the storm. In a rage, the cloaked figure stomped wildly into the light of the stars. She followed the lead of those around her; snapping to attention with her eyes begging herself to veer toward him. He was taller than she expected, and even though the majority of his back was to her, his yelling was audibly distorted by the mask. She was experiencing too much to even comprehend what he was shouting at a certain General standing with his back to the glass, the night sky illuminating his red hair. A mix of untamed fear, adrenaline and an overwhelming curiosity and excitement curdled together in her stomach. The minutes for all she knew had turned into hours as the two conversed, for she was unable to keep time in that moment.

“I’ll not have you questioning my methods. With someone of your responsibility I’d assume you’d have better ways to spend your evening.” Hux hissed.

The infamous Kylo Ren’s spine lengthened as he stepped closer. “You stand here. Smiling. You have yet to answer my question.”

“Why don’t you go ask Snoke. Perhaps you’ll receive an answer that satisfies you.”

“You’ll get what you deserve, General.” He threatened before spinning on his heel. He began his way towards the door, walking down the line of officers all snapped together in attention. For maybe a second, he wavered. His pace slowed just as the line brought him to where she stood.

He did not advance but towered high above her. Her skin began to crawl in those few moments. She feared she had done something wrong. Everything she had heard about the man standing in front of her came hurtling back, half-convincing her that her life was to end at any moment. She felt his eyes burning her from behind his mask, her own eyes wavering for a minute on the silver plates that the stars twinkled off of. The instant she snapped her eyes back forward, she had already accepted her cruel fate. She had really done it this time. However, Kylo Ren turned back towards the door and continued on his way. After his exit, the room reverted back to how it had been, but not before some of those around her boiled in their curiosity. One of these being General Hux, who saw the whole episode as an opportunity.

“General Hux.” She greeted him the next day when he approached her in a somewhat remote corridor. “Good afternoon, sir.”

“Likewise, Lieutenant. I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure.” His wall of authority still stood as strong as it always appeared, so she found it rather odd that he offered his hand to her.

“Lieutenant (y/l/n). It’s an honor to shake your hand, sir.”

“Oh, nonsense. What a bit of a formality it all is.”

“I suppose so.” She stopped for a moment, peering past her shoulder as if she were to see someone, but no one showed themselves. She looked again when the feeling got worse, still to nothing and no one.

“Lieutenant (y/l/n),” She turned her attention back onto Hux, not being able to shake the feeling of being watched. “The reason I have approached you this afternoon is something I don’t do often. I was wondering if you’d like to accompany me to a drink after your shift.”

“Oh well, I can’t possibly tell you how flattered I am.” Her lips shut and she was cut off. Not by Hux nor by anyone she could pinpoint. Almost like a silent, anonymous disapproval was reaching out to her. “Unfortunately, I have a personal code against dating those I work with. It’s not personal it’s just a matter of policy.”

Things went downhill from there, Hux’s facade soon faded after her rejection. The next few weeks, she made careful plans to avoid him at all costs on her routes throughout the ship. For the most part, she was successful. When she wasn’t, Hux would make every effort to humiliate her in front of her peers. Whether it be by calling her out for a crooked shoulder pad or a scuff in her boots. Insignificant things that he would try his damndest to look for. She would never show it, even if it did affect her, but he had lost her respect long ago. All the while this was happening, the energy that had caught her attention days earlier clung to her still. She was almost constantly checking her six and was stuck in a state of anxiety and awareness that she as being watched.

One day not soon after, she was heading towards Conditioning on a call and got hopelessly lost. You couldn’t blame her, the ship was monstrously huge. While having next to no idea where she was, she stumbled upon something she knew she should have just walked away from. A cracked door in one of the most secure sectors on the ship was a red flag by itself, and especially so that she happened to know exactly whose door it was. But she couldn’t get him out of her head. He was of course the one who stopped to look at her, study her. It wasn’t necessarily romantic to her, she just craved more.

Her finger brushed along the metal and the whole door plate slid entirely open. The hiss it made turned her wary and the feeling didn’t pass, and was only paired with more adrenaline as she stepped further into the space. The colors were bleak; mostly black and grey, some dark blues scattered. There were no overhead lights, only small ones in different places. She saw the bed, the starry windows that spanned an entire wall in places. Everything from the nightstands to the sheets seemed untouched, like no one even lived in there at all. Everything inside her was screaming and telling her to leave immediately, and she ignored it until she realized it was too late to change her mind.

“You dare to enter this sector without clearance.” The distorted voice she had only heard once, the one that occupied her thoughts every day sent a spine-chilling surge of adrenaline throughout her entire body. She froze as the hatch closed behind him.

She couldn’t recall turning to face him, for the fear must have blacked her out. But she did remember watching as he realized who she was. She watched his shoulders softened, something so inconspicuous that was somehow so obvious to her. His hand fell from where it had rested readily on his What she assumed was his lightsaber.

“What are you doing here?” His voice now a bit calmer.

“I was lost. I got lost.” She stammered out in haste.

For a moment he continued to stare at her through the mask, his regular demander of ruthlessness replaced with uncertainty.

“I am so sorry Sir, I’ll leave at once.” But she was too scared to carry on with her proposal, for he stood between her and her only exit.

Finally, he spoke. “I don’t want to see you here again.”

“Absolutely not.” She violently shook her head as he stepped out of the way. His eyes followed her as she left while hers were glued on her boots.

She declined to talk to anyone for the rest of the day. That night, she tossed and turned in her worry. For nightmares would sure cloud her sleep if she had the opportunity to embrace it. This went on for the next few days, all the while she prayed to never cross paths with him again, especially not around others. It was around her fourth restless night that sleep welcomed her again, only this time she was greeted by nightmares. Her family, the resistance, the first order and everything else just blended together and set upon her like a storm. She shot up from her bed in a cold sweat to a silent room filled with nothing but her own frantic breathing. She draped a blanket over her shoulders trying to coddle away the shock and attempting to convince herself of its invalidity. It was there in the bossum of her recovery that a voice began to wrap itself around her. The hair on the back of her neck stood up and she felt completely frozen. It whispered to her words of comfort.

It’s alright. He breathed.

So unfamiliar, yet she felt her woe begin to drizzle away. The fog began to lift as the soft words kept coming.

She then did something she had never done which was leave her quarters at night. The ship was intimidating enough during the day and no one wanted to see The Dreadnought in the dead of night. None of that mattered to her though, she needed to clear her head.

It was there at the start of one of the earliest hours in the morning that she realized her maker really had it out for her, that their target was to make her life as comically ironic as possible. She turned a corner of a deserted, glass-lined hallway and saw a man standing before the stars. When he faced her, twisting his long torso in her direction, she soon realized who he was. She had next to no idea how she knew this was the same man that had spared her only a few days ago, but all that mattered to her then was the absence of the mask. His black locks were illuminated by the night sky. Without the mask, she was free to look at him. The threat was still present, just softened. She turned to leave but his voice, now restored, stopped her.

“Don’t leave.”

It wasn’t as desperate as a beg or a plead, but it also wasn’t as hostile as an order. It was the voice that coaxed her out of Huxs’ post-shift drink inquiry. The voice that had brought her from the darkness mere minutes prior.

Unaware of his intent, or the reprocusions of her choice, she turned towards him anyway.

[bionicarmcandy]

Honey Nectar

Summary: Sweet and simple conversation after sex.

Characters: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Light swearing, sexual innuendos

“Do you believe in God?”

“Just said his name a few times.” y/n stood in front of the night sky, buttoning up the oversized dress shirt.

“That’s about seven buttons too fastened.”

“There are only six.”

Bucky snatched her back under the comforter with him.

“We all gotta believe in something.”

“Haven’t thought about it,” She drew in closer to his warmth. “Would believing in God grant me a cheeseburger right about now if I prayed hard enough? Because I love me some burgers after sex.”

Bucky half heartedly laughed and buried his face into the crook of her neck.

“Oh shit!” Is what she chose best to break the light-hearted laughter of their shared proximity, staggering his emotions to say the least.

“Too much? Couldn’t take the heat?” He dove back in for more before she pushed herself out from underneath him and onto her feet. She had already scrambled over to pull up her pants before she explained anything.

“I promised Wanda I’d have dinner with her. Already late.”

“C’mon, man,” Bucky sank back into the white linens with disappointment.

Y/n rolled her eyes and started collecting her hair up into the closest ribbon. “Consider yourself lucky. We’ve already done all we planned to do tonight -twice.”

Bucky felt uplifted by her blushing, especially so that it was in response to his smirk. She wasn’t one to let many sexual innuendos grace her exterior, especially after. It empowered him like nothing else quite could. The only downside was that it made him want to pull her back as close to him as he possibly could. Share the warmth, the radiance, the glow. Enjoy her sweet honey nectar hair. All to fall asleep, ear to her chest, and be reminded of what his own heartbeat sounded of.

“Stop.” Her whining was quite bitter and quite well played. “Why are you looking at me? There can’t be anything remotely sexy about me wiggling into these constricting, 21st century, blue jeans.”

“You’d be surprised.” Bucky contradicted, ignoring her complaints and indulging himself. “Can I come?”

“What so you can follow me to the ladies room? C’mon, let’s at least pretend to have some class. I kinda promised Wanda it’d be just us tonight. Girls Night Out or whatever the fuck she called it.”

“Alright. I guess one night alone isn’t all that bad.” Bucky propped himself up on his elbow, his eyes beginning to droop with fatigue. His hair was in disarray, courtesy of y/n, and his clothes were strewn all about the room.

She gathered her things into the satchel and draped it on her shoulder. “Trust me. It won’t be the whole night….”

“Ambitious, are we?”

“Quite.” She leaned over the bedding to first smooth down his hair and then to place her cherries onto his forehead. She wasn’t getting away that easy, not with those eyes. He launched at her with a real kiss she fought against sinking into. She should have known by then that she would never succeed, not ever against him.

[bionicarmcandy]

Win Some, Lose Some

Summary: …. Read that title again

Characters: Steve x Reader, brief mention of Avengers

Warnings: Extreme angst, swearing, gore, death.

Steve’s past suddenly disappeared, like it never even happened. Thoughts of his distant future, the worries were left to nothing. All his dread, every last regret all the laughs and cries and smiles he had suddenly lost all meaning. His mind was a vast and empty red, and it surged around him like a tornado, standing in the eye of the storm.

But then, without warning, there she was. Like the sunshine after a storm or the warmth of spring after a harsh winter or the breeze on a hot summer’s day or anything at all that made him even the least bit happy, it was her. She could replace his sun, his moon and his stars. The very ground beneath him could vanish and he would still be okay, her midnight eyes would be keeping him grounded. Everything she was, everything she could once be, everything she meant to him was everything he didn’t deserve. She was and would forever remain the only thing in that hell of a world that gave him the meaning he needed. With her, he was strong and without her he was anything but. His hearing went fuzzy, silent throbs pulsating in his head. He crawled over the rubble as his vision was bombarded with her smile, her hair, her olive skin and every other feature she had ever had. Every single last one of them, irreplaceable and absolutely perfect. But as he reached her, all of them were covered up, in a crimson hurricane that seemed to ravish every inch of her. He held up her head with a trembling hand, a shaken breath and just about the quickest heart beat he ever had. He spoke softly, repeating the same word, a single word of denial, over and over again, pressing down the source of the rich scarlet as it poured out from her stomach. She opened her eyes, barely there but still enough. She held a chunk of his sleeve, bunched up in her grip as he struggled to keep her with him.

The bare corners of her lips curled upwards, not enough to be a smile but enough to send him into a world of pain.

“Look at me …”  It was so faint, so quiet yet so loud it shook his body even more.

She wasn’t in pain, not anymore. The suffering had quit on her or maybe she had quit on it. Either way she just needed him to know that but she somehow wasn’t able to. Her mind was already shutting down. One of his tears fell onto her cheek, merging with tears she had already set free.

“It’s okay …(y/n) …” he tried desperately, cradling her head and moving closer into her. He was frantic, tried to conceal it but his panic was too great to ignore. The dusk of the battle died bit by bit around them, bestowing upon her the peace she had forever wanted. She whispered his name, his real name, slowly reaching up to his damp cheek and cupping it with the utmost sincerity.

“ …You still have time …”

The stars above her aligned in transparency and the distance between her and the constellations seemed to vanished. She was among the stars, flying who knows where. She danced in the cosmos as she was pulled deeper and deeper, farther than she ever intended to go, but there was no struggle. She was welcomed like an old friend into the one place she thought she’d never get to. She died knowing who she was. She knew what she did, who she touched, and just how much she meant to the world. She died knowing it wasn’t all in vein. She died in the arms of the man she loved, and there is no better way to die no matter what anyone says. There is no better way than that. To go out knowing is to go out in peace, to go out knowing you would be remembered.

Heart-wrenching sobs echoed off the stone of the hollowed out battle field. They didn’t stop, there was no better time to do it than this. He didn’t care if she saved the world mere minutes prior. He couldn’t care less about the sanctity or safety or avenging of the world. The universe would implode and he wouldn’t notice. The only thing that occupied his mind in that moment was the one thing he could no longer have. This picture of beauty, the warm human being he loved was now reduced to the pulseless, limp creature lying in his arms. No matter what he said, no matter what he did, no matter how loud his cries were or how much he screamed …she wasn’t coming back.

“You bastard!” His voice was so loud he was spitting up at the sky. “Bring her back! Bring her back you son of a bitch!”

He fell back down to his knees, head stuffed into his gloves over her. He was cupping her still warm cheeks, burying his cries in her neck.

“You’re so red,” he cried. “Why are you so red? You’re so red …you’re so beautiful.”

It boiled down to this, the only thing he could think to do was cradle her in his arms and remove her from the rubble. The battle was over and so was he. His eyes were glassy and his fresh tears were still on his cheeks. He carried her body closer and closer to the broken Quin jet ignoring the team breaking down around him. There were no noises, no words, nothing but soft cries and broken moans.

[bionicarmcandy]

My Thoughts Exactly

Summary: A silently growing attraction between Logan and (y/n) goes south when the rest of the team picks up on it.

Characters: Logan x reader, Charles Xavier, Storm, Scott  

Warnings: Cussing (come on, he’s logan), kissing, loads of sexual tension.

* let’s play spot the “Logan” reference *

There wasn’t much anyone could dream of getting him to do on his own, and in more than half of the cases he would end up getting bribed. Among these was the complete unwillingness to do anything involving Scott (but of course that was a given), and in turn, the complete willingness to do anything involving (y/n). Like an unspoken oath, he’d flock to her side without the slightest hesitation. It of course went both ways. They’d gone from bitter acquaintances to the most functional pair of partners to ever work together in Xmen history. Charles was naturally the first to pick up on it one night in the dining hall. Minding his business at the head of the table, scraping around his chicken tortilla soup, Charles caught sight of (y/n) as she made her way into the space.

“Evening, (y/n).” He said with a smirk already on his face.

As if on cue, Charles watched as an explosion of fireworks went off in Logan’s head. His lips parted as his palms got clammy, and his eyes grew so wide so fast Scott wondered whether or not he was gonna pass out. Those sitting around them at the other end of the table all exchanged looks among themselves and with Charles, watching Logan bloom like a goddamned flower in springtime.

“Hi everyone,” she smiled, taking her seat and draping her napkin over her lap, Logan still eyeing her like she was the last piece of cherry pie.

Just before she was ready to eat, she shot a smooth smile in Logan’s direction who was opposite of her. He quickly pulled his eyes away and glued them onto his untouched meal. The others at the table continued to exchange smirks and jumping brows in silence before a conversation arose. Throughout the length of this conversation that traversed around them, energy stayed fluctuating between Logan and his (y/n). Whether it be a simple glance or a smirk or a subtle movement beneath the table, they were making it more and more difficult for the other to focus on their dinner. Every time they caught sight of the other their knees got weaker and weaker and the temperature of the room increased by at least three degrees. Logan looked up from his plate, flashed his eyes like they were lasers just to return them to his steak.

Don’t fucking tease me. She thought, squeezing her fist in a vain attempt to be rid of some of the physical urges she was having.

Return the favor. Came the too familiar tone of the man himself whom was sitting and watching intently.

Charles, get out of my head. Not the time. She rolled her eyes, shooting an annoyed side eyed stare over at her professor.

Give him a taste of his own medicine. Charles smirked.

This isn’t a game, this is barely a conversation.

Look to your left.

Which she did and was greeted with all the eyes of her fellow team mates, all silently jabbing her on to listen to Charles and make something happen. (Y/n) rolled her eyes one last time, this time very violently, suddenly arriving at the realization she had been having a long hard day as it was and would rather be anywhere but where she was sitting.

“Excuse me,” She kicked out her chair and left the room in silence with Logan longing for her to stay, his eyes glued to her in dread as she disappeared beyond his view.

In her wordless rage there had been one thing that (y/n) hadn’t accounted for. Upon her leave, all Logan could think of was if it was something he had said or did ….blaming himself for chasing her out of his pleasureful view.

“Was it something I said?” Logan asked the table a few minutes after her exit.

“Logan you didn’t even talk to her.” Scott remarked earning a trademarked Logan glare.

“Perhaps she is tired,” Charles started, pausing to take in a spoonful of soup. “She’s not quite used to the entire weight of the world resting upon her shoulders quite yet, you know.”

“Maybe I should talk to her-”

“No,” Logan said, interrupting Aurora. Once he had heard the great tone his voice had taken, he cleared his throat and pushed out his chair. “I’ll go.”

Logan downed the last of his beer as the rest watched him in stunned silence. With a perfect posture he never wore and an adapted walk of determination, he left the room before the chatter started once more.

“Good work, Aurora.” Charles pointed his champagne glass at her. “I feel a change in the winds on this fine evening.”

(Y/n) made her way through the sleepy dorms and hallways, making sure her boots didn’t wake the youngsters up.

“Go to bed, Cherry.” (Y/n) ordered, passing a small redhead standing groggily by a door. (Y/n) patted her on the head without stopping.

She quietly climbed the stairs, passing Hanks room to which she was extraordinarily careful not to make even the tiniest noise. She stepped onto practical balcony on the upper east side of the school. It was elevated just enough to see past the treetops and not have to look at any far away buildings. The nighttime was the perfect place to sit and watch as the pines danced in the moonlight. What an amazing location to share with someone ….a very specific someone whom she had never had the chance to shared it with. She leaned over the railing, elbows propping her up, and let the wind take control of her hair, her locks swirling in the wind.

He seems quite distressed, my dear. I’m afraid you’ve upset him.

She groaned. Charles you gotta warn me when you do that it freaks me out!

Logan is laboring under the delusion that he has upset you.

He’s not the one that upset me.

Whatever the case may be, he has left us to find you.

Her head dropped into her hands, feeling the twinge of humiliation she wasn’t quite used to yet. It’s late ….he won’t even know where to look. But of course that wasn’t entirely true. Logan knew her well enough to know how special that balcony was to her. It was like an outlet and a safe place all rolled into one.

“You okay?” she heard the gruff, raspy voice travel in from behind her, where there he stood, leaning against the large door frame like a true romantic.

“You’re not why I left.” She said flatly over her shoulder.

“Sorta figured that bit out for myself. No idiot, (y/n).”

“I know, Logan.”

A few more seconds of silence and it was time for Logan to start closing in. When she heard his footsteps coming toward her she couldn’t decide whether to dread it or savor it, it was like every emotion she felt was a dead end and she kept turning back to try again. He mimicked her and leaned over the railing except he wasn’t facing the trees, he was facing her. She didn’t dare to return his stare or even acknowledge it. Logan struggled with whether or not she thought this was one of his moves. Maybe that was true, maybe he secretly wanted this small gesture to get him noticed and get him into the game, but all he cared about then was to just look at her. To watch the way she moved and breathed ….imagine what would be different the closer he got.

“They can be assholes.” Logan offered.

“Water is wet. Grass is green.”

He sighed, shifting to face the trees, eyes following.

“Something’s off lately. You’re distant, well, more than usual. I know you’re not gonna talk about it, that’s for sure. But I notice these things, you know.”

“Yeah.” She offered, still staring forward. “This team sure doesn’t miss anything, do they.”

“Huh?” His boots shifted on the tile.

(Y/n) sighed trying to get her hair out of her face. “No one in this school can keep their fucking noses out of other people’s business! It’s like they’re so bored out of their damn minds they get all their entertainment out of other people’s lives!”

“What exactly do they have trouble staying out of, here?” He asked, half expecting what he thought about 24/7.

“Us!”

Oh god she said it. Oh god now it was out in the open. What the fuck was gonna happen now?

He was looking at her like she had just confessed to a murder, wide eyes staring her down and making her knees wobble.

She inhaled, trying not to pass out. “Ya see, I don’t know what the hell is going on here, but I know there’s something. Right?”

Logan was so stunned he could barely talk. He had been so preoccupied in his feelings for her he hadn’t stopped to think about whether or not she knew about them. He opened his mouth but no words came out, his mind was at a stop sign and the light wasn’t flashing green.

“Uhm, w-who-what are you talking about? Us? Wasn’t aware there was an us ….at least not yet.”

“Well, yeah I mean I’ve known you for so long and ….this is the closest thing I’ve had to a possible us in a long time. But with Charles and the others ….their pestering is driving me insane. They want us together like it shouldn’t even be up to us.”

“I uh-” Logan cleared his throat and reached up to nervously scratch the back of his neck. “I can’t say I feel too differently about you …but I also can’t say that I agree with them.”

Her heart dropped down to the floor. She sought to conceal it and try to brush it off and convince herself that he was right. “Okay ….”

“It’s just with everything that’s going on lately and the known situation of our ever changing lives, starting something like that ….it won’t end well.”

“Right,” she shifted to look at her hands as they wrapped and unwrapped themselves around each other.

Logan was panicking seeing her face. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Yeah, I get it Logan.” She said quietly and turned to leave before she felt his hand wrap around her forearm. “What the fuck!”

“I���m not doing this to hurt you!” He shouted gruffly, in a voice that was so low it was barely a voice.

“Don’t yell at me! I don’t need this shit! Don’t treat me like you’re letting me down easy. I’m not stupid, I see the way you look at me.” She pulled her arms out from him, and fixed the sleeve on her leather jacket.

“I’m not bein’ charitable here, I’m tryna save your life.” He pleaded still shouting.

“Yes, because I’m not at all capable of taking care of myself. I know what I want, and I know for damn sure what you want. But you’re not gonna take it for yourself because you’re locked in your dumb ass temple of soldierly righteousness that it won’t let you see me for what I am; someone who is so fucking in love with you that they’d rather leave this place all together than not be with you.”

“Bad things happen to people I care about!”

She straightened her back and paused to try and keep the tears behind her eyes. But then, right before she turned around to leave, she said something in the softest yet fiercest voice she had ever heard. “Then I’ll be fine.”

Like a Phoenix rising from the ashes, with so much force and determination, Logan took four steps forward and swung her around by her arm, landing her right into him. He kissed her, and damn did he kiss her well. The fire in her chest withered away as she sunk into him, feeling his hand come up the back of her neck, the other still latched onto her arm which were on his chest. Neither of them wanted it to stop, wishing they could stay like that for the rest of their lives. When she finally pulled away they weren’t sure how long it had been. His lips trailed after hers as her arms came up around his neck.

“So you do love me.” She said softly.

“Yeah ….” He nodded slowly, his face was complete with a big set of puppy eyes trailing all over her features and a smile that was so god damn soft and sweet she couldn’t help but kiss him again.

This time she lunged into him and wrapped her arms around his neck. He was up against the door frame in a matter of seconds. His jacket had gone past his shoulders and was already on the tile.

“They’re all gonna wanna know.” (Y/n) pulled away.

“I wished I cared.” She laughed as he backed her into the wall, his hands arching her back as he buried his lips in her neck.

“About damn time, Howlett!” She smiled from ear to ear. He was doing the same thing back to her, oh how she loved the way he smiled up close. “Can’t tell you how long I’ve been waiting for this.”

“Not as long as I have.”

tags:

@shamvictoria11

[bionicarmcandy]

The Unexpected Pairing

summary: this takes place at a banquet/ball held at SHIELD HQ whereas the reader is just getting used to being apart of SHEILD despite her criminal past and then … you know … she inevitably has to dance with Steve

characters: Steve, Nick and female!reader

warnings: nahhhhh fammmm

You can do this.

Those four word echoed in (y/n)’s mind as she slowly began to make her way into the sea of anxiety all standing with glasses of champagne in their hands. Bits and pieces of people’s different conversations clouded her mind as she searched to find someone vague enough to start a conversation with. After a brief intake of people’s outfits (y/n) then realized that red was only worn that evening by herself, which made her want to cover herself up with a rug. (y/n) felt a tap on her shoulder and turned around to see one eye and an eye patch staring back at her.

“Miss (y/l/n).” He leaned over for a bit, hands behind his back.

“Why does everyone insist on calling me that?” She threw her hands up, shaking her head.

“Well, (y/n), I don’t really think you’re used to people treating you with respect.” He held out his arm, the second man who had done that to (y/n) that evening, and she took it. He turned them around the other way gently stilling through the crowd.

“At first I thought it was an honor to be invited to this thing,” (y/n) said to him looking down at her “and I thought that maybe I could make something of myself, like all you people.”

“Well what happened?”

“I woke up.” He looked forward again, taking in what (y/n) said and trying to make it silent.

“You can still have that, you know. A life that doesn’t involve looking over your shoulder for a gun every five seconds.” She took in that thought, thinking about what that kind of life would be like.

“And what would that look like, Fury? Sipping a margarita by the pool at a Costaricin resort? I gave up any chance of a normal life four years ago laying eyes on my parents bodies. After I agreed to join SHIELD, I realized that my chances of a turn around are gone.”

They made their way towards a man standing right on the edge of the now empty dance floor. He had his back turned but (y/n) could tell who it was.

“Captain Rogers.” She heard Fury say to have Steve turn towards them. (y/n) saw his eyes widen when they were set on her.

“Fury. Miss (y/l/n).” She nodded back at him. “I hope you’re time at the banquet will be enjoyable, if anyone could tell me when it’s actually gonna begin.”

“I think they said-”

“Excuse me? Excuse me? Thank you.” The announcer said over the microphone. Everyone one turned to face him in the center of the dance floor.

“Now I hope everyone is enjoying themselves tonight.” He began watching champagne glasses rise into the air. “Now I know that SHEILD is known for our wonderful advances in modern technology so we’ve sort of cast out all frumpy pastimes.” He paused to listen to the quick laughter. “Now without further ado, the SHEILD Novice Banquet and Ball is proud to bring you all, the Kings Waltz.”

“Is that a dance?” (y/n) leaned over to Fury, who now chuckled at her honest pondering. A beautiful orchestral sound suddenly hit her eardrum, glancing over to the band of strings sitting with their instruments behind them. After she felt Fury pull out of her grasp, (y/n) began to panic seeing him walk away to invite another woman to dance as she stood there, alone with Steve as people were walking onto the dance floor. She was now aware of who she was standing alone with, watching Steve out of the corner of her eye, looking awkwardly around like herself. She watched as people took the last places on the floor as the music began to rise in intensity. (y/n) caught something which intercepted her line of vision and more importantly she was likely smart enough to know what it was.

Steve’s hand sat in mid air, palm up, and outstretched towards (y/n). Her eyes followed the length of it, leading up to his incredibly charming face. Her gaze flickered back and fourth between him and her own impending doom as the last available spot on the dance floor stood there, mocking her. The fact that (y/n) knew she had to take his hand scared her and made her want to vomit. She knew she had to take it.

She had to, so she did.

(y/n) took his hand and he smiled at her in the way that she knew he would. He lead (y/n) to the floor and turned them towards one another. When she felt his hand behind her hip, (y/n) jumped a bit which seemed to catch his attention before she broke their gaze.

“You know I’ve never done this before, right?” Her hand rested upon his shoulder now.

“Just follow my lead.” She heard him say, drawing her closer. Every couple around was settled in the same position, all scattered about the marble, and that’s when she saw the eyes. The eyes which surrounded the dance floor, looking from pair to pair, to the most unexpected pairing which contained (y/n), of course.

As the gathering music drew short, a new song began playing throughout the hall, drawing the dancers towards each other. (y/n) now felt his hand grip her own, elevating them slightly as he put his shoulders back. A beautiful symphony of strings started playing and Steve set them into movement. Having no other choice, she followed him. They were dancing in consecutive, soft circles which were making (y/n) slightly dizzy. She peered down at his shoes which were moving more gracefully than her own were as (y/n) attempted to mimic their movement with her own heeled feet.

“The whole point of the kings waltz is that it was created so that to avoid falling, you had to lock eye contact with your partner.” She glanced up at him, seemingly understanding the footwork now, but Steve saw through the act. Now that (y/n) had to keep a consecutive gaze with him, he mouthed ’One, two, three. One, two, three. One, two, three’ in reference to the footwork he knew she was struggling with. She destained to admit it, but it helped more than either of them thought it would, and (y/n) managed to get through the next few moments with stepping on his shoes a limited number of six times.

They nodded along until (y/n) to break their catching gaze to stare back at the eyes that stood around the floor. Every time they would turn into a circle (y/n) still had to look at them as if it made things better.

“They’re all looking at us.” She took in his gaze again as if it was a duty.

“Believe me, it’s you that they’re all looking at.” He nodded.

“What?”

“Your apparel is very becoming tonight.”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” He twirled her around and took her back in, bracing them before they continued dancing.

“It means, that dress might just be the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen a woman wear, and you certainly seem to be pulling it off.” (y/n) tried so hard not to show the warmth in her cheeks and prayed he didn’t notice too much.

“Well that means a lot coming from the man who didn’t care for my last outfit much so,” (y/n) braced her shoulders back hopefully helping add a bit of sass to her comment.

“I don’t think I said that, Miss (y/l/n).”

“How long is it going to be before people understand they don’t need to call me by my last name like a fourth grade teacher?”

“Would you rather I call you a Dame?” (y/n) glared up at him. “I’m joking. What about something more casual, Freckles?” He curved an eyebrow at her which she sent back with an eye roll.

“You know I’m still mad at you.” (y/n) said up to him. “And it would be easier to stay that way if you weren’t such a nice guy.” She tell he was content with her words because he pulled her in closer, both their temperatures rising steadily as the music rode along.

[bionicarmcandy]

Cuttlefish

summary: the reader has an undeniably monstrous crush on her co worker, yet Arthur’s mysterious stature keeps getting in the way of a possible relationship … if she ever gets the balls to talk to him

characters: Arthur and female!reader

Warnings: cussing, kissing and sexual tension

His stare was as distant as his rarely spoken voice. Deep and brooding as they both were, so inaccessible that he was more of an apparition than a human being. The neighbors knew him as a generous stranger, the town’s fishermen only saw him as competition and to the town, he was the backwoods savior. To (y/n), he was just about the most unapproachable man she had ever come close to bearing a conversation with. It was less than a friendship and certainly not close to a first name basis. Her relationship with Arthur Curry was sprawled about in avoided eye contact when they crossed paths at their place of employment.

The docks had not been used to employing migratory workers, especially one who looked as though he could tow an entire shrimp boat out from the water, entirely with his bare hands. Besides the silence and southern tilted lips, (y/n)’s boss had eagerly jumped at the chance to have the town golden boy work underneath him. Now, instead of looking towards winter as an approaching storm, the townspeople now invited in the cold as a long awaited friend, more enjoyable than all the rest.

(y/n) had herself convinced that there never were and could never be feelings on her part towards this man. He was a drifter and an all around alien-like immigrant, yet whenever his glassy eyes ever dared to skim the surface of her vision, gravity took its toll. She had never been too clumsy before he started showing up, yet every winter it seemed as though her knees would start to give out a lot more often. The truth of the matter was that there was something so amazing about this walking mystery that spent his time bagging fish at her side in the unheated atmosphere of the pier head.

“Morning,” He muttered, anchoring himself at her side before reaching out for a butcher knife. She smiled over her shoulder, wishing, hoping and praying he hadn’t notice her slight jump at his voice. He towered over her left side, looming over, eyes glued on a fresh batch of trout he began carving into on the cutting board.

“Good morning,” she cooed back, whisking a curl behind her ear, reminding herself to focus on not cutting a finger off. Five of his catch had been carved to perfection, tempting her to give up the one she had been shaking over since he had strolled up at her side. Her nimble fingers couldn’t be tamed, jitters running like electricity through her body. She felt probably the most humiliated she had ever felt in her entire life when the knife went down on her finger, grazing the skin enough to draw blood almost immediately.

“Well that’s shit,” she winced, holding her hand over the floor, scarlet falling like rain drops. It had inevitably ensnared enough of Arthur’s attention, just like she feared it would have, enough to discard his trout entirely and appear at her aid. When she looked up from the wound, he appeared as expressionless as she assumed save the small protective glimmer behind his ocean eyes.

“Right or left handed?” His raspy words seemed so out of character as he took her wrist between his fingertips, goosebumps erupting over her skin.

“Um … right?”

“Then i suppose ill have to fix you up myself,”

“You really don’t have to,” she said, not meaning for the words to slip so carelessly past her smiling lips.

“I insist,” he smiled down at her hand which was now being carefully wrapped in a thin cloth, softly soaking up the blood. “Given the favor you payed me yesterday, it’s the least i can do,”

(y/n) smirked at the recollection of the day before, one of the only times Arthur had dared to start a conversation with her. He had claimed to be ensnared in some sort of emergency, the situation being in dire need of his attention. You could guess who he had turned to who would cover his shift, and she did. His rushed words had spun her head around in too many places to process what he was saying in enough time to make a well-thought out answer, accepting his offer on contact. “Well I wasn’t gonna let you get fired,”

“Exactly,” he peered up from her fully dressed hand before sliding the remainder of the cloth in his coat. “You care and I appreciate that,”

Part of (y/n) wanted to slice open her other hand just to feel his touch again and the other half longed to stare into his eyes for the rest of her shift, no matter how weak she felt her ankles become. Unfortunately for her, Arthur turned back down to his fish, leaving her only to do the same, spending the rest of the brisk morning buried neck deep in sensual frustration.

After that brief moment of bliss she felt when his callused hands caressed her skin, her mind made it impossible to think about anything but his beautifully blue oceans. She longed to see him, catch him doing anything, anywhere. She couldn’t care less. Working the docks, helping tow in the catch of the day or even walking in the damn halls, but her efforts to reconnect with him on some level turned out fruitless.

“The fish guy?” Her friend’s mockery fell to a whisper in the nearby janitors closet, followed by a harsh shushing on (y/n)’s part. “C’mon, you play too much,”

“How in anyway is this a laughing matter? I have a massive crush on a man who I’ve only spoken to a few times and won’t even look at me, so much have a friendship with me,”

“More like hopelessly in love if you ask me,” Ebony shrugged.

(y/n) let out a monstrous sigh, palms frustratingly pressed over her eyes. “I should just quit,”

“You’re not quitting, because then I’ll have to quit and i need this damn money,”

“Whenever i think about him i wanna fall down. The heat in my chest and the moisture in my palms just validate the fact that i can’t stay focused whenever im around him,”

“Then leaving isn’t gonna help. No matter how many miles you put between you two, if you feel the way you’re talking then it won’t matter. Just talk to him. Start a conversation. Ask him out for god’s sake. What’s the worst that can happen?”

(y/n) rolled her eyes in disbelief, her words dripping with disapproval. “He might hear me!”

It turned out her mind was in fact not all the way filled with thoughts about Arthur, there was indeed room with thoughts about asking out Arthur, and also how to do it. (y/n) wasn’t really one for asking guys out, actually she wasn’t one for going out at all. She didn’t have much experience on how to win a guy over packed under her belt, but she could indeed try. The next morning Arthur appeared by her side at the carving station, the same fragile greetings they would always exchange, the same as all the other times except she didn’t need another bandage that morning. Her mind jumped back and fourth for a possible conversation starter, buzzing around, turning itself inside out until she could only think of an ocean documentary she had seen on the discovery channel.

“CUDDLE FISH!” She blurted out, instantly longing to take it back, start again, say something that wouldn’t earn her the look she was receiving. She had dropped the knife on the wood which had made a rather large noise that had snapped the silence like a falling tree, grabbing his attention in its entirety.

Arthur’s lips curled a bit. “Is that my new nickname?”

“What. OH! NO!” She squeezed her eyes shut, bobbing on one foot anxiously, feeling his rather amused eyes invest all they were onto her.

Her eyes snapped open again. “Cuddle fish … they … “ she trailed off, trying to find the words associated with what ever the hell she was trying to talk about.

She remembered they made pulsing lights to confuse their prey into submission, hypnotizing them with different colors and patterns, except she couldn’t seem to find the right wording. “They make these-light-things. They-” she made a pulsing movement with her hand, her fingers drawing in his attention, his smile winning the moment entirely.

“You want to talk about … cuddle fish?” he furrowed his eyebrows, watching her give up on everything and drop her face into her hands.

“I’m sorry I just,” her face emerged, still not quite ready for her eyes to meet his. “I guess I just wanted to talk to you,”

“Well,” he sighed, throwing his rag onto the cutting board. “I guess there’s something we can relate on,”

(y/n) let half of a smile go free, wanting to accept what he just said as what she hoped it had meant. “You don’t mean-”

“Ohhh trust me … you’re not the only one around here with communication issues,”

“I’m able to over look yours if you can do the same?” she offered, optimistically.

“Square deal,” It was the first time he had ever seen him truly smile, and it was a wonderful sight. His eyes were squeezed and his cheeks had the cutest hint of red she had ever seen. “Actually, I got one more favor,”

“And what’s tha-” Neither of them were quite sure how the hell he was able to kiss her that fast yet that slow, and neither of them cared. They didn’t even mind the smell of dead fish that filled up the cold atmosphere of the fish house they stood in, and again, neither of them gave a damn. When they finally pulled out of it, opening their eyes ever so slowly and looking at the other so intently, she couldn’t help but smile.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to do that,” he whispered.

“Dido,”

[bionicarmcandy]

Lemon Scented

summary: Bucky is being stupid and so is the reader before things take an unexpected turn when they're supposed to hide in a nearby closet

characters: Bucky and female!reader

Warnings: hella make out and hella sexual tension and prob cussing

“(y/n),” The strong whisper sent (y/n) spiraling backwards on her heel, grasping her heaving chest at the knife that cut through the silence. Bucky stood stoic as usual, hands in his pockets with a few extra steps between the two he had taken at her sudden jumping.

“Oh my god!”  She whispered harshly. “Bucky! Were you … were you following me?”

“If I say I was would you punch me?” She rolled her eyes, puling down on her tangled night shirt then glaring back up at him with tired yet annoyed eyes.

“You know you’re really pushing your luck, Barnes,” Her voice was still kept in a whisper that seemed to echo through the moon-lit glass hallway. Beyond the glass stood the greenness of the jungle they could hear from where they stood apart, the soft shadowy noises of crickets and faraway birds tricking through the midnight air. “How’d you even know?”

“You don’t think a soviet assassin couldn’t sense movement in the dead of night?” She furrowed her eyebrows up at him, lowering her chin and shooting up eyes that said Really Barnes? He sighed, knowing she wouldn’t fall for his cockiness. “Your doors a little creaky,” He admitted with a shrug. “So you gonna tell me why you’re up?”

“Barnes, I can take care of myself,”

“Uh, no you can’t,” She crossed her arms, glaring into his overly-sure eyes. “It’s not like you can make this any worse,”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She asked in a scowl.

“There’s too much going on in your head for you to be running around by yourself in the middle of the night,” His whisper was brassy, dripping with an imperious tone she couldn’t stand, which was exactly why he used it.

“Oh that’s rich coming from-” Before she could finish out her recovery clap back, a sudden noise jolted both their heads to the end of the curved hallway, the door that stood at the entrance concealed and a steady flashlight that seemed to be getting closer.

(y/n) grabbed hold of Bucky’s shoulders, flinging herself into the janitors closet to their right and pulling him in with her before quietly but quickly shutting the door behind them. A shrouding darkness that smelled of cleaning supplies and lemon-scented chemicals followed the click of the lock on the door as Bucky felt around for the light switch.

“Just for the record this is what making things worse looks like,” (y/n) heard Bucky say into the darkness, giving her another excuse to roll her tired eyes.

“Shut up,” She scolded into the blinding darkness, making him stop before he had the chance to utter another insult.

She was tense and tried her best not to breath in the fowl chemicals through her nose, well, the ones that weren’t masked bye an unidentified sweet smelling must that filled her nostrils.

Does he really wear cologne to bed. If there was a way for a person to roll their eyes in their mind, that is what she’d be doing. However, by the judge of space they were contained in and the closeness of his voice she realized just how close Bucky’s face was to hers. Her mind also registered that her back was to the closet wall with Bucky trapping her against it. She could suddenly feel every curve and ridge of his body due to the fact that the closet was so disorganized and messy (y/n) had only that little bit of space to hide in. She inhaled sharply when she saw in the sliver of moonlight that crept through the crack in the door frame that his lips were really close to her face.

Meanwhile, Bucky was realizing just how smooth and soft her lips looked. It pained him to look at (y/n)’s lips in the small light, it also pained him when he couldn’t stop staring at them, and the fact that her warm body felt really good against his wasn’t helping him too much, either. The two of them remained in a deafening silence that filed the room, listening intently to the footsteps that seemed to eventually surpass the closet. They didn’t realize they had been holding their breath until they were sure whomever was out there was gone.

“We in the clear?” Bucky whispered, still not inviting movement on either of them.

“Shut up,”

“(y/n), I think we’re okay,”

“Maybe,” she replied, meeting Bucky’s gaze as it shot into her eyes. This wave of something hit her like a pickup truck, as she opened her mouth to continue her sentence but uttered nothing.

“Can we … leave?” His eyes couldn’t stay in once place, instead they ventured over her features, undeniably but not intentionally ravishing her eyes.

“Probably,” she continued, very faintly, suddenly and regrettably deprived of breath. “I don’t know,” The pauses between her words were now intimate, her eyes flickering from his beautiful lips back to his even more beautiful still, blueness of his eyes.

Her mind couldn’t stay focused on one thing, instead it hurriedly hovered over word to word, action to action, but not daring to land on one option. Instead. Bucky was focused and debating over one sole thought that had consumed his mind ever since she had looked at him. Bucky was wondering how bad it would be if he just kissed her. Was this hatred, or something else? Maybe it was hatred for his own self for not having the pair to just do it, to make a move, Barnes. The way her eyes gazed up at him through her lashes and the way she was chewing her lip nervously just pushed him to the breaking point.

So naturally, he thought, “screw it,” and took a leap of faith. He did something he would only have done in the 1940s. He kissed (y/n), a tender press from his lips to hers. She pulled out of it almost imminently, jerking back, wondering what that was about before realizing what was happening. Bucky began to panic when she wasn’t kissing him back. He pulled away and began to ramble.

“Oh my god, I don’t know what that was. I’m sorry,” Her gaze dropped as Bucky’s humiliation took its toll, reddening his cheeks and making him want to sprint out of that closet and lock himself in his room forever.

“That was weird,” She muttered, avoiding his gaze.

“ … Yeah …”

“You-you wanna do it again?”

“I don’t think this is a good-” (y/n) did the smart thing; stepping up to him to cut him off mid sentence, using only her lips and not her voice to shut him up, and it was the first time Bucky actually stopped talking. One kiss turned into five, and five morphed into something spectacular. Buckys hands had pulled her in by her lower back, slowly beginning to trail up to find the back of her neck, holding her in by her burning cheeks.

“What the hell?” She stepped out from his lips, pinning herself to the hard wall behind her, her loss of breath taking its feverish toll.

“Uh … ” he couldn’t hope to say anything to help the situation, whatever that situation was, they both couldn’t bring themselves to understand anything that was happening, or anything they felt. They didn’t take their eyes off each other, staring at the other’s widened eyes in disbelief, awaiting the other ones words, until Bucky took the task. “What is happening?”

“I don’t know, you started it!” She raised her voice, pushing blame onto him like a child.

“Well you weren’t stopping it!” He yelled back, eyebrows in a clustering furrow, and his hair all in disarray, courtesy of (y/n)’s hands whose touch he was growing to miss.

“Are we … are we doing this?” She hesitated, swallowing back her fear, or at least trying to. The look in his eyes just urged her closer to him, each passing moment something in her escalated, building upon itself and teasing its own self-destruction.

“Yes. Maybe. I hope so,” He admitted in a mutter. “Are we?”

“Are you serious?”

“If you say yes, I’m serious if you say no, I’m joking,” he rushed out the words like an auctioneer, as the space between them slowly vanished.

“I like those odds,” She breathed before pulling him down and crashing their lips together, a title wave of satisfaction breaking over her before his hands found themselves back around her.

[bionicarmcandy]

A Mission’s Necessity

summary: let’s just say bucky can’t live without her and can’t bother to tell her why, so their shared feelings are exchanged in a rundown hotel room on top of the sheets

characters: Bucky and female!reader

Warnings: a whole lot of kissing, hella angst and prob some cussing

“I need a mission.” Is all that he managed out of his trembling mouth.

“You’ve made that very apparent.” She crossed her arms in disappointment. “What you haven’t made apparent and what you haven’t bothered to tell me is why the hell you’re even keeping me alive!”

The silence that followed was outraging to her who had tried everything besides the dark side of persuasion to get the truth out of this man, nothing seemed to work. She knew what she wanted but what she didn’t know was that he didn’t know what he wanted either. He wasn’t allowed to want things. He had missions. He could make decisions there, sometimes. Change target, select priorities. All within an established set of parameters. It wasn’t about want, it was about logistics, necessity.

Maybe he did want to stay. At least here he knew what to do. There was pain and the wipes were bad. But he knew how to do it. There was a saying that described this logic, something about devils you knew… But it was as muddled as everything else.

He had no idea how to express all of that to her, to explain how impossible “want” was for him. What came out of his mouth was, “I need a mission.”

She studied him a moment, then turned away, tipping her head back at the repetitive outraging sentence. Her hands went from her hairline down to cover her lower cheeks as she eyed the floor.

“A mission?” She asked.

“Yes.” He managed.

“I’ll give you a mission, let me go.”

“No. They’ll kill you.” He refused.

“They will? Or you will-” The second she turned around, her face was inches from his. He wore the face of a mass murderer but in such a way that soothed her enough to not scream. “What … do you want?”

The question bounced off the walls in his head, jumping from one to the next as he lay on the verge of a migraine. That question had been the first question concerning him and only him that he had been asked ever since he could remember anything at all. All the questions he had been asked were concerning who the hell he was before he pulled the trigger. This was different, as different as it got. He felt his pulse heighten and his senses began to escalate to a state of complete awareness of his whole body.

“You.” He clenched his metal fist as her eyebrows knit together in utter and complete shock.

“What?” She barely whispered. His eyes dashed from one of her eyes to the next, looking for any signs of rejection or any emotion he could hope to unfurl.

A flash flood of realization suddenly cut through his mind, making him turn from her and walk towards the opposite wall. His head felt warm and his body was tense. All his actions at that moment had been impregnated with human emotion and attention to human feeling. A large churn came across his stomach as a wave of confusion wiped across him.

She watched him in confusion from the opposite wall, wondering and piecing together what had just happened. His back was to her as his forehead lay on the wall, twitching. Everything he had just done went exactly against everything he had been taught told and put through for the last 70 years, and he couldn’t think of accepting that and moving on. But her face was something that calmed the war being fought in his mind, two conflicting realities in his head fighting for dominance. Flashes of the light and dark and sometimes the grey spot was to large to escape, but when Bucky was around her, the war subsided for a bit. It went away just long enough for him to wonder what it was that made her so beautiful, so perfect that he couldn’t help but imagine how she felt.

That was why he couldn’t let her go.

He hadn’t lied, they would kill her if she was caught, and eventually find him, but the thought of not having the chance to look at her ever again made him want to break down a wall. Bucky turned from the wall and looked up and over at her who wore the most concerned sincere expression anyone had ever laid upon him.

“James-” he shook his head at the sound of her voice which was suddenly drawn out by the sound of her footsteps across the room. She reached her arm to him, holding his jaw after he winced then continuing to hold the other side as well. He had no choice but to look into her blue eyes, what else could he do when they were in such a close range?

She closed the distance between their lips in a slow instant, his being surprisingly soft and supple. In an instant he had her in his arms, hands underneath her thighs. Her hands lingered around the back of his neck as he began to carry her God knows where. She tightened her crossed legs around his torso as his lips and tongue ran in deeper. All that could be heard was heavy breathing and shortness of breath.

Her back hit the bed watching him pause to look down at her then dive in for more. His hands ran down her back, pulling her towards him as she struggled to make her hands meet behind his muscular back. His mouth trailed down her neck, traveling towards her chest as the fierceness of his metal arm remained fixated on the pillow to her left.

Touching her skin was the most unrealistic sense he had felt as long as he remembered. This had been the only time he used his hands for love and not hatred in his whole life. Her skin was soft and supple and her body was perfect underneath him. He couldn’t help but never want this moment to end as long as he lived. In one swift motion, he allowed her to sit up as his eyes fixated down onto hers.

She bit her lip, ignoring her instincts of grabbing his face and pulling him back down, it was one of the hardest things she ever restrained herself of doing. She instead cupped his cheeks as their foreheads met to undermine the heavy breathing that cultivated the moment. He still held her, pulling her in from her back while she struggled not to shiver at the coldness of the metal on her skin. He pulled away so he could again set eyes on her face and it said it all.

He saw the fear she hid behind her eyes that matches the uncertainty that dwindled by her mouth. He swung his legs off the bed, grading and sitting on the edge and lowering his head. She watched as another war went off in his mind.