#ben solo one shot

[peterparkersnose]

Two Ghosts

pairing: kylo ren x queen!reader 

word count: 2.6k

warnings: neglect, arranged marriage, dislike of s/o, reader has children, descriptions of periods, domestic abuse, old values (women are dainty bullshit), guys kylo isn’t nice remember that, fertility issues, stopping of a period due to stress, reader lives for her children basically, reader obviously has anxiety, reader is basically breaded for heirs, kylo is awkward (the dude doesn’t have social skills. at all. whatsoever), even though he still has some rizz (call him kylo rizz if you would), a good ending? idk guys remember kylo just isn’t a great person and the first order isn’t a good organization too

a/n a long warning list 😬. anyways i never get notes on kylo fics but i simply do not care. i love writing new content for this man. he deserves it all.

summary Kylo tries being the husband Y/N always wanted him to be

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read time: 9 mins 40 seconds

Watching you felt almost wrong. The neglect he’s given you through the years- the pain you’ve felt and him not caring about you for as long as he’s known you.

He didn’t deserve to watch this beautiful sight of his family, the family he didn’t even want. The family he wasn’t even apart of. You two were an arranged marriage, married for political reasons. He needed an heir, your father needed peace on your home planet. You and your children had always been a nuisance to him. 

You had given up on the romantic attempts years ago. But something in this sight, something about you right then made him sick. Something made him click taking in this view from the balcony on the hill.

For weeks he had longing feelings of sadness. He hated admitting it and rejected it as much as he could, but light was seeping into the cracks. His moods began to lighten softly, not enough for you to notice but enough to scare him. Now looking down and feeling this, it was just a confirmation of what was really happening to him.

The sun shown down on your beautiful yellow dress that was layed out on the grass. Your hair was up in intricate braids due to the heat on Naboo, the tiny loose strands were swaying in the wind. The field you sat in was just off a short cliff, the beautiful rural city and coast were just feet away. The perfect escape between the busy city and the old city. The mansion sat atop the hill, separating the two separate terrains. You were on a vacation and had begged him to come for the sake of his children.

Your oldest son ran around you in circles, playing with a TIE one of his father’s assistants bought him for Christmas. Kylo couldn’t be bothered to celebrate, let alone give gifts. Henry was just shy of his sixth birthday. His blonde hair was messy and in need of a cut sometime soon. His gray tunic and black pants matched his father’s aesthetic a little too much for your liking. Running around, he made engine sounds as the ship would like a typical 5 year old.

Your youngest daughter sat in front if you, playing with some wildflowers she had plucked into an array of ‘jewlery’. She was three. Unlike her brother, she had beautiful strong brown hair. Unbeknownst to you, it completely mirrored her grandmothers. You had her hair in your hands, coming through it with your fingers trying to decide what design to attempt today. Amala squirmed as she attempted to join her brother, but you kept her in place in your lap. She was to learn to be a lady as you were. Her dark pink dress was spread out in front of her.

Kylo watched you as the pit in his stomach felt odd. It had always been empty, but this time something ached inside of it. He had never had any interest in you. The times you ever had sex were intended and resulted in children, exactly what he needed. He cared more about Henry than Amala. Henry was the oldest and the heir to the First Order. But work called. He was never a family man, he was never meant to be a family man.

These feelings continued to conflict him throughout the night.

As the sun set you came in with the children. The nannies took them upstairs and readied them for bed. You took your place at the long dinner table. On the opposite side sat your husband- legally.

Over the years you obviously lusted for other men. You didn’t even dare act on your thoughts, or barely thought the thoughts at all. You knew Kylo would have their heads within seconds. With an absent husband emotionally and physically it was hard. In the first few years of your marriage, you struggled with fertility problems. Life was so lonely without the children. He grew angrier and angrier with you each time you got your cycle and your anxiety got so bad that it soon stopped. Your doctor moved you to separate chambers and eventually Henry was conceived after years of trying.

You felt like a failure before your son was born.

After copious amounts of treatment during your pregnancy, Henry was born. And then a while after that Supreme Leader Snoke granted you permission to have another. An heir and a spare.

You and Kylo sat silently eating your dinner. Over the years, you had perfected your etiquette. No slurping your wine, no scratching of the fork on the plate. At dinner you would mostly go over your thoughts from the day. The tuition papers you had to sign for Henry’s first school next year. Amala refusing to listen to her nanny and requesting her mommy really warmed your heart. The beautiful memory of that day you had spent with the children. The fact that you were doing it alone and was so good at it.

He listened to your thoughts. You knew he did. No datapad, no work bot giving him constant coded updates you didn’t understand. Tonight it was just the two of you. Two strangers eating dinner together. The show, the facade had to go on. Media wise you two were the loveliest couple in the galaxy. In reality, you spoke maybe once a week.

“R-80!” you called from the dining room. Kylo’s head shot up from his plate of food to see you waiting on the cleaner droid. You had finished the meal and was waiting to leave this awkward encounter.

The droid came around and you began to exit the room. His hand deliberately reached out for yours as you walked past him to get to the door.

A tiny gasp escaped your lips. You stopped and pulled your hand back, a concerned look was on display.

You were begging in your mind for this to had been an accident.

“It was no accident,” he said strongly. His deep voice boomed through your ears. You forgot how powerful it could be sometimes.

For the first time in years Kylo was feeling anxiety. Over something so minuscule, speaking to his wife. His eyes met and darted over your face. He recognized the braid pattern in your hair. You had worn it on your wedding day. Rarely he had seen it on you, depending if he even noticed you on the daily. His eyes were drawn to your dark lipstick on the lips that were slightly pursed.

“Your hair-” he said. Your eyes flicked up to the window, looking for any sign of a reflection.

Did he hate it, was he about to tell you to never wear it again? Was a strand so obviously out of place? Hell, why was he even speaking to you in the first place?

“It’s how it was on our wedding day, if I remember correctly.”

You nodded your head. Heat rose to your cheeks. This is the longest conversation you two have had in months.

He stared into your eyes. He forgot just how beautiful you really were. They were still the same as always, but this time with a few unnoticeable lines around them. You refused to meet his gaze, staring forward at the distorted mirroring of the room in the window.

Ten years in with two kids, you had managed to keep up with yourself and your appearances. For what, you really weren’t sure anymore.

“May I be excused? I would like to go check on the children.” you asked, avoiding his eye contact.

“Yes, one moment.” he said, his hand reaching out for yours. You hesitantly took it.

Kylo took a deep breath. Even though he seemed calm and composed, inside of his head the red alarm was going off. The urge to even ask you this went against everything he believed in. The twist in his stomach snapped. He gave in to the light feelings, begging for more after how good he felt after asking you a simple question.

“May I sleep with you in your chambers tonight?”

Your brows furrowed. “D-did you talk to the Supreme Leader? Did he give you permission for another?” you asked him, worried. You loved your children but you had no say in having them. The Supreme Leader could make you give birth to an army if he willed.

“No, no. This isn’t about sex.” he assured you. Of course you assumed it was about sex. It was the only time he ever really spoke to you. A slight relief flew off your shoulders.

You sighed, taking your hand from his. “I’m going to check on the children.”

Your heels clicked down the empty hallway. Something in you secretly hoped that he would follow you to see the children, but you knew your husband.

You were baffled in his sudden change of heart. He hadn’t shared a bed with you since- well, since Amala was conceived. You didn’t deny his request, but neither confirmed it.

Your thoughts kept you company as you walked down the many corridors and hallways of the mansion.

The large door was cracked, left like that by the nannies. They knew your routine better than anyone else. Amala was sleeping closest to the door. The canopy above her bed was swaying from the wind of the open window. Henry was laying on his stomach in a deep sleep, his limbs all sprawled out over the large bed.

A smile rose to your face as you quietly closed the door. Your heart was full once again. No more doubt plagued the poor, confused thing from dinner.

You made your way to your chambers. You passed what you knew was Kylo’s. Shockingly, the door was open. You caught a glimpse of him working at his desk. He looked too large for the thing, trumping the tiny chair in size. The patio was open and the moonlight rushed in, lighting his room ominously.

He caught a glimpse of your flowing yellow dress passing his room. He wanted to finish up a few papers before bed, but in his heart he knew he had to neglect his work for one night.

He mustered up enough courage to knock on your door. A sweet “Coming!” came from inside. Within seconds, your door was open and he was met with your fresh face. You had changed into your night robes and had your natural hair down on your shoulders. The bathroom light was on and he noticed the fresh mint scent coming from your breathe.

Your night maids hadn’t been around yet, he presumed.

Something in your look, your energy died a bit when you saw him.

How had he never noticed? How could all these feelings, these guilt trips be plaguing him now, suddenly? What changed?

“We’re you hoping for a maid?” he asked, following you into the large room. He locked the door behind him.

You sat down back at your vanity, pulling your brush out of the drawer.

“No.” you replied. He knew you were lying.

The bed creaked as Kylo sat down. His dark grey dress pants were perfectly ironed and didn’t crease at the contact. He itched at his black turtleneck, swiping the cuff with his finger. He could hear his watch ticking from his wrist. The room was cold.

“May I ask why you wanted to be here?” you asked, a certain confidence in your voice had occurred. Turning now to face him, you finished brushing your hair and placed your hairbrush back in the drawer.

“Honestly darling, I’m really not sure.”

Darling?

If you weren’t so poised your jaw would have been on the floor.

“Today I saw a sight. You with the kids in the field.”

“Oh Kylo, there children. There’s nothing wrong with them playing in a field if this is what this is about-”

“No. I-”

Kylo Ren had never felt himself speechless before, yet again choking up at the sight of his family he used to despise.

Your tucked your chair back into your vanity. Now standing infront of the cowardly man, you waited for his response.

His hand cradled his forehead as he stared at the floor, watching your perfectly manicured feet come into frame.

That’s when he let his first sob out in years. You quickly embraced him in your arms, his forehead finding a resting place against your stomach. Your hands sprawled over his back in a cautious way. Peeking over ever so slightly, you checked if he had his lightsaber on his belt. Thank the gods he didn’t, you were afraid he would cut you into two.

Nobody had ever seen Kylo Ren cry.

“I don’t understand what you are getting at.” you whispered to him. Another sob came out, you began to rub his back.

“I-I am such a fool.” he managed to speak. His eyes looked up into yours, finally making contact for the first time in forever.

The look on your face was baffled.

“What have I been doing? I have a family- a wife? So much neglect, so much hate. How are you still here, my dear? How have I not driven you away, or driven you to worse? I-I have two children. Two beautiful children I don’t know and such a beautiful wife that I’m strangers with. So many years wasted. How did it take me ten years to see this? How did one small instance make my life come crumbling down around me?” he asked, bawling out his words.

You were speechless.

“I want to learn- please. How do I have such an amazing person with me and I don’t know the slightest thing about her? Tell me, w-what’s your middle name?” he went on, now holding you by the hips and eagerly speaking.

And that’s when it really hit you. You two were strangers.

“Amala,” you muttered out. “Oh! T-that makes so much sense—in our daughter. Her name,”

“What are there names, please tell me.” he seemed to beg.

“Henry Cornelius Benjaq Ren, Amala Charress Bryneri Ren.” you answered, a smile emerging on your lips.

Was this too good to be true?

Kylo was stunned of Henry’s middle name. Benjaq. There was no way you knew of his real name. The coincidence hurt him even more.

“Cornelius and Charress…” he pondered. “They sound so familiar are they…”

“My parents.” you answered him. “King Cornelius! How could I forget? Oh Y/N. I have neglected you for so long. How could you ever forgive me?”

His voice sounded genuine. “It’s definitely going to take time.” you sighed. Suddenly the years of loneliness and suffering flashed back in your mind. You broke away from his embrace and walked to the open balcony, giving him an invitation to follow.

“I will try. Please Y/N, let me.” he begged, following you outside.

The warm air brushed against your cool skin. You sighed, wishing you would wake up from this nightmare and your husband would be back. Did someone poison his food?

The yearning for anyone’s touch seeped into your mind. Watching all the other royal couples around the galaxy, they all seemed to love eachother. Hands touching almost constantly, sneaking a kiss or two at events. It was rare that you even got a photo with Kylo at the parties you would attend.

“I know,” he sighed, taking your hands into his. “I wish I could make it all go away.” he said with remorse.

The waves crashed against the sand. The wind was beginning to pick up. Your hair began to sway in the slight breeze. “Make it then,” you whispered, grazing a hand against his cheek. You dared giving him any sign of affection. You were half expecting him to pull his lightsaber out and cut you in half, just as you thought before. Something felt so wrong, but so right.

You kissed your husband for the first time since your wedding day. His lips were slightly chapped and you could taste the negroni he was drinking at dinner. The moon show down on the both of you, and the feeling he felt seemed to pass on to you. Force sensitive or not, the force was in your favor tonight. You felt the remorse and the pain he had been harboring for years. All the sleepless nights over work and heartache over his past life. You seemed to dilute all of that inside of him. You were the missing piece he was looking for all along. The thing he wanted the least was now his prized possession; his wife, the mother of his children, his Queen, his Empress.

All of that love came back. The feeling of when he was a little boy and still had light into him entered his heart once again. Ben Solo seeped through the cracks of his dark, broken heart.

tag list: @dani5216 @uwiuwi @alohastyles-x @mandoloriancookie @maddieinnit0 @alexxavicry @scoliobean @avengersfan25 @nyotamalfoy @milly-louise​ 

[inklore]

garage rooftop

premise: the lines of friendship or something more grow more blurry the longer your eyes move from each mole, his cheek bones, his dark eyes, his lips. and you really don't understand why the two of you hadn't become something more ages ago.

pairing: ben solo x (f)reader

word count: 1k

contents: college au, fluff like this is nothing but fluff with one sexual innuendo and that's it, friends to lovers, quick mention of han being a lackluster dad sorry it's for the plot.

note: let's ignore that i actually wrote this back in april and just never got around to editing it but now that i'm in my driver era i had to come back to it. the title is from this song that i highly rec listening to while reading <3

The way his face morphs into something that was once joyful and silly—the blissed high that paints your cheeks red from laughing too hard over being overheated from how weightless it feels to be laying on the roof of your apartment building. The space decked out with rugs, blankets, and cushions from past and current tenants, mostly college kids like yourselves. 

Making it the perfect place to get high and look up at the sky at night. The city lights outshine the stars, but the clouds—and the strain of ganja Poe recently snagged from his dealer—give the same ethereal effect. 

“Why haven’t we ever...”

“Ever what, Solo? Dated?” There’s a pause between your words, and a slow, sly smirk moves across your lips as you look over at him. “Fucked?” 

The blush painting his cheeks quickly moves down to his neck as he shakes his head in laughter, biting his lower lip to hide whatever feelings are currently making him look like a shy schoolboy—something he was far from. 

It’s the “both. Why haven’t we done any of it?” That makes you both fall silent. That makes the joyfulness fade and something else fill the air the longer the silence spreads between the two of you. 

And it’s not the weirdest question or the wildest thing that’s come out of either of your mouths. 

It’s a question that makes you wonder, why? Seriously why? With the longer you stare at him, the more you take in the nervous tick of his chiseled jaw. The way his dark hair falls into his face each time he laughs and he has to continuously push it out of his eyes. How the crook of his nose looks oddly kissable and more attractive than you’ve noticed it before when it’s this close to your face. 

When the haze from the weed is making your body feel limitless and swoony. 

It’s a feeling that has you turning on your side. Putting a hand under your head shifts your body closer to Ben’s. Smiling when he doesn’t act phased in mirroring you, his body moving in the same motions and position as yours. Now putting the two of you so close that you can feel his breath hit your face, and the space between your legs barely exists without some part of him touching it. 

The two of you had been friends for forever, it seemed. Stuck in the woes of academia, making your parents proud does that to you. Makes you lose track of time and forget how the two of you became friends after getting into an argument over a Hamlet book in the library. 

A fight Finn quickly broke up, but Poe enthusiastically cheered on. 

The lot of you—Rose and Rey included—became inseparable after that day. Something that didn’t have a timestamp or expiration in your mind. It just happened. 

And now you have four best friends, and you’re coming to the conclusion that you’ve possibly liked one more than that. The lines of friendship or something more growing more and more blurry the longer your eyes moved from each mole, each scar, and each strand of hair. His cheek bones, his dark eyes, his lips. And you really don't understand why the two of you hadn’t become something more ages ago.

“Have you wanted to?” 

“The fact that you’re asking me tells me that you’ve never noticed. I’m not that subtle.” 

“Nose stuck in a book at all times, Ben, not subtle?” You make a sarcastic face, “yeah, who would ever think you’re subtle?” 

His knee nudges your thigh as his cheeks rise in that smile that makes his eyes crinkle at the edges. “You think I’d let Poe or Rey borrow my stuff? Steal my takeout from the fridge—which I know you do—without consequence?”

“In their defense, Poe and Rey have three late library books from two years ago and only you and I like the takeout you get from the bodega on the corner, so…it’s not really a fair asses-”

The squeal that comes from his fingers digging into your sides, pinching the skin at your hip and rib bones, fills the air and knocks the wind out of you all at the same time as you realize the position the two of you have wrestled yourselves in. 

Strands of dark hair moving against your forehead, your fingers instinctively reach up to brush the strands from both of your faces. Ben’s lips so close to yours that all it would take is a heavy breath and you’d be kissing. The relaxing rhythm of your heart now feeling like a hammer in your chest. 

Ben’s fingers run along your jawline, resting at your chin. 

“What if we did?” He asks. Searches your face for any reaction or indication that the subject should be changed. That he should stop asking, and the two of you should move away and pretend like this never happened. Go back to how things were—which was clearly not subtle and most definitely screaming ‘I’m in love with my best friend’. 

“Why have you never asked until now?” You answer with a question. 

“Losing my best friend is not the traumatic life experience I’d like to put on my resume beside divorced parents and an absent father.” He jokes, his smile playful, as the pad of his thumb draws small circles against the skin of your jaw. 

“No wonder you’re unemployed.” The two of you laugh, breaths mingling in the joys of this moment. Of the jokes that come easy and the touches that seem to come even easier. But then there's silence, and you’re leaning closer to him, a feathering touch of your lips against his as you murmur, “maybe you should stop being so afraid, Ben Solo. And have me.” 

And if you’ve ever felt like there was something missing—some cataclysmic event in your life that could rewire your nervous system and make you feel like you’ve been barely making it, your heart barely beating and keeping you alive: Ben’s mouth is the puzzle piece as he brings your mouths together in a bruising kiss. 

[dollycrybaby]

Desperate Times Call For Different Measures

Prompt: "Himbo Nepo baby Ben Solo becomes cut off from the family money so he makes extra cash by coming an OnlyFans content maker who takes pictures of his cock next to stuff like footling subs and Lysol cans"

*Credit to @Ate_Lala_ on Twitter for the prompt

Warnings: vulgar language, descriptions of dick, swearing, brief description of masturbation (m)

Honestly it had started off as a joke. Actually, not even a joke. More like an act out of desperation. Once his dad had cut him off—literally, he cut his credit cards right in front of him, all 8 of them—Ben knew he needed money, and fast. He was accustomed to a certain lifestyle. How was he supposed to live without supporting girls through college by showering them in hundred dollar bills while they shook their plastic tits in front of his face, or missing out on fucking the new towel girl six ways from Sunday in the private tent at the country club?

God forbid he could no longer rail the models of the stupid fashion show his family was required to attend and try to see his cum leaking out and down the model’s legs as she walked down the runway, face flushed and thighs still shaking from being wrapped around Ben’s waist. The designers clothes honestly looked better with his cum staining it anyways.

No money meant no more car shopping, meant no more buying Rolexes, and no more Gucci. He had to deal with wearing last season’s line, and that was an embarrassment. The saving grace was that he had 20 days left on his membership of his last OnlyFans subscription. It was while he was cumming inside his custom made fleshlight to a girl dressed like some slutty anime character making herself cum with a tentacle shaped dildo that it hit him; He could make an OnlyFans.

Ben Solo had the body of marble carved by the gods and he knew it, but he also knew there was one part of him in specific that was godly as well. It was already difficult enough finding clothes that fit his Sasquatch body, but finding underwear that didn’t end up with a hole in the crotch from the fabric being stretched out by his megacock was in and of itself an impossible mission. Half of the time he just went commando.

It would have to be under a fake name. But what would he post? He didn’t need his face out there and deal with his dad cursing him out about disgracing the family and end up disowning him. And chicks weren’t fans of being filmed and uploaded. People only care about dicks either way, that was the main thing but jacking off seemed lacking in pizazz. He liked to show off. He liked to know that he could get girls on all fours at the snap of his fingers and he most definitely liked to show that he was better than any of the guys out there in the world. And what best way to do that than to emasculate them?

That whole thing about the chick with the big fuck-me-eyes from 'That 70’s Show' comparing her husband’s own schlong between a beer can or a carrot stick popped into his mind. And that was his first post. His limp dick in the middle of a carrot stick and a can of Modelo all lined up on the black countertop of his bathroom sink with the caption ‘Guess I beat Ashton Kutcher.’ Post to Twitter. Cha-Ching. The next day when he had checked his profile, girls had flooded his subscriber count faster than he racked up credit card bills.

‘I squirted just by looking at it 💦’

‘That thing could split me in half and I wouldn’t complain 🥵’

‘Give me that hard cock 🥵🤤🍆💦’

They thought he was hard? Well this had to be remedied, he didn’t need them thinking this was as big as he could get. He looked around his room for the closest thing he could use as a comparison which was his Fiji water bottle and rushed to the bathroom, not even hesitating to yank his sweatpants down and start tugging on himself. His mind rifled through the mental spank bank Rolodex until he landed on the memory of freshman year in college when he had a 3rd year sorority girl blowing him outside the building where he was supposed to be taking his midterm. Oh, the sinful noises her throat made….

He had to stop before he came. This was a noticeable difference in comparison to his first post; this time the veins were more prominent, his foreskin was pulled back to reveal his swollen red tip that was oozing precum tears on the sleek counter material, and the 3 birth freckles that were scattered along his shaft just like he had on the rest of his body.

‘Oh you guys thought I was hard before?’ Post. Mega Cha-Ching. If the comments weren’t flooding his mailbox before, they were a sea of messages now. From then on, his fanbase grew and so did the numbers in his newly opened bank account. Ben took great pride in his photos, always making sure the angle captured the size of it versus the competiton object he had next to it. The photos were always of high quality though he supposes he owes that to his phone’s camera. The latest model he got sent for Christmas it wasn’t even out on the market yet. Mouthwash bottle, Lysol air freshener cans, footlong subs, a fucking Pelligrino bottle, you name it. None of them even stood a remote chance against Ben Solo’s cock.

On the picture comparing his cock to his size 13 Gucci loafers, a person had commented on the post 'It’s fake, it’s some kind of silicone prop.' Oh Ben’s ego didn’t like that. You could say a lot of things about him, but saying his massive horse cock was a lie? Think again, bud.

That was the caption of his next post—a video, his first video—where he had recorded the end of an intense masturbation session. If his cock wasn’t already proven to be inhumanly large, his baseball mitt sized hand just added fuel to the fire the way it stroked his engorged organ like it was a life or death necessity. The video was 30 seconds; 12 seconds of his foreskin slapping and his stuttered breathy moans before the rest of the clip showed him shooting his load big enough to fill the flask he used to sneak in to private school dances, groans and growls being exhaled through his teeth as he painted the black countertop. “Still think it’s fake, fuckhead?” He pants.

~~~~~

Author's note: If you guys think I should turn this into a series, lemme know! This could count as a sort of prologue or a quick little introduction to the story. 💜

[garfunklevibes2012]

I will ACTUALLY give anything for nice Ben Solo fluff. NOT KYLO REN. but Ben solo <3

[purestxblood]

𝗕𝗘𝗡 𝗦𝗢𝗟𝗢  //  𝗞𝗬𝗟𝗢 𝗥𝗘𝗡 𝗠𝗔𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗧!

Hello wonderfuls, ♡ thank you so much for taking the time to check out my works. Comments, likes, & reblogs are always appreciated as I love to hear your thoughts.

Like every talented writer, I do not give permission for any of my works to be translated, rewritten, copied and posted on platforms other than my own accounts here on Tumblr & Wattpad unless stated otherwise.

Feel free to join my 𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 to stay up to date & be notified for your favorite character one-shots.

☁️ 𝗙𝗟𝗨𝗙𝗙. 💌: 𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗢𝗡𝗔𝗟 𝗙𝗔𝗩𝗢𝗥𝗜𝗧𝗘. 🌑: 𝗗𝗔𝗥𝗞 𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗠𝗘𝗦. 🌶️: 𝗦𝗠𝗨𝗧.

𝗙𝗔𝗡𝗙𝗜𝗖𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡.

𝗙𝗢𝗥𝗖𝗘𝗕𝗥𝗢𝗞𝗘𝗡, 𝗸𝘆𝗹𝗼 𝗿𝗲𝗻. 🌶️ 🌑 💌

Together, they were a wrath to fear. Their force, a walking path of destruction towards the others' downfall. 

𝗢𝗡𝗘𝗦𝗛𝗢𝗧𝗦.

TBA!

[anatee]

A rainy night | Kylo Ren x Reader

A rainy night | Kylo Ren x Wife!Reader One Shot

Word count: 1.13K

Author’s note: This is my first attempt at something this short. Something soft laced with angst if you squint your eyes. No smut, no warnings, almost unlike me.

Nights full of tossing and turning weren't unfamiliar to Y/N. It was always just her, the darkness of the room and haunting sleeplessness every time her husband was away.

Kylo Ren was no ordinary man in many aspects. Many quivered at the mere sight of him, and she knew how powerful he was, how strong the Force was with him. However, it did not stop her from worrying about him every time she knew he was off fighting his enemies, a knot in her stomach forming at the mere thought of him getting hurt.

And that particular night was no different. Rain was rattling against the windows, the sound echoing against the walls of the spacious, dark bedroom Y/N was completely alone in. She let out a sigh, the silky sheets rustling as she turned again. That uneasy feeling in her chest was almost unbearable; the darkest thoughts were racing through her mind, not allowing her any moment of peace.

And then came a loud slam, one she knew did not come from the raging storm. It came from inside the marvellous house she could live in, being the wife of the Supreme Leader himself. Someone slammed the front door, and her heart leaped.

"Love?" She sat up immediately. "Is that you?"

"Yes." The voice that answered her was a familiar one; it was the deep and raspy tone she adored, but at that time, it sounded almost... Broken.

She slid off the bed immediately, quickly tying the silky bathrobe over her revealing nightgown. She heard heavy footsteps, very slow ones, that made her worry greatly.

Her heart sank when she entered the dark hallway. Even in the poor light the single window offered, she could see the figure of her husband, slouched and without his helmet on. He looked completely exhausted, but did give her the smallest of smiles when he saw her.

"Oh, Kylo." She let out a breath she didn't even know she was holding, then ran up to him and embraced him immediately. "What happened? I was so worried."

She felt him raise one of his arms slowly and wrap it around her, keeping her close. He let out a long, deep breath; it seemed like he needed that even more than air.

"Not everything went according to plan," he replied quietly after a moment of silence. "But it doesn't matter. They won't stop me. They can never win."

"It only matters to me that you're back," she whispered quickly, taking a step back to look into his eyes. She intended to put her hand on his cheek, and that was when he flinched slightly, making her gasp in realisation.

"You're hurt," she said breathlessly, unpleasant shivers rushing down her spine.

"Don't worry." Kylo grabbed her hand with his own gloved one, guiding her to the part of his face which was free of wounds. "I had it taken care of."

She took a deep breath, knowing he would not give up. "Is there anything you need?"

"You," he replied quietly, cupping her face with his large hands. Even in the darkness, she could see the emotions in his eyes, and it was pure love he was looking at her with, a sight for sore eyes after the horrible things he had seen.

He slid his hands down her body and brought her close again, allowing her to rest her weight on his broad chest and shoulder. He closed his eyes, resting his chin on her head as he breathed in that familiar scent of hers; his breathing was slow but loud, complete exhaustion speaking through him. After a moment, he lowered his head to leave one longing kiss on her lips, savouring the moment for a while.

Then, with a swift move of his strong arms, he scooped her off the floor almost effortlessly.

"You sure you're not too tired for this? Too hurt?" she asked, surprised, but not opposed to being in his arms.

"For this?" He let out the smallest chuckle, a tired, but sincere one. "Never." He leaned his forehead against hers, nuzzling against her like a cat. He started walking towards their bedroom, then set her down on the bed as delicately as possible, as if she were the most fragile treasure in the world, acting completely opposite to what the deadly weapon at his belt suggested.

He kissed her softly on the forehead, leaning over her. "Why weren't you asleep?" he asked huskily, true fear for her speaking through him.

"I was worried."

Kylo let out a sigh. He knew she was, yet he was 

not the best with words, unsure how to tell her how much he worried, too, and how he appreciated that she always waited for him despite his long periods of absence.

He grabbed the lightsaber at his belt and took it off, then left it on the bedside table. She then watched him pull off his gloves and toss them to the floor, the sounds of the heavy rain still filling up the room. In almost hesitant moves, he began caressing her face, now with his bare hand. She enjoyed the warmth of his large palm rubbing onto her while he studied her face with it as if he were blind, trying to make out each shape to remember it.

She raised her own hand to tangle it into his luscious hair, stroking his head. They both needed each other's touch badly, to cure themselves, to heal all the gashes made not by weapons, but by the yearning. The expression on his face was clear; he was exhausted, and something was trembling inside him, she could see it.

"Are you sure your injuries are fine?"

"Yes," he replied huskily, still caressing her face. "I just..."

"Just what?"

He looked down for a moment, hesitant, then took a deep breath. His lips trembled before he managed to utter:

"I want you close. Just... Just close."

"Then by all means..." she replied with a soft smile.

Kylo lowered himself until he came to rest his head on her chest like on a pillow, breathing loudly in the process. It seemed that was the first moment the stress started coming off of him, as he nuzzled into her, craving the warmth and comfort she provided.

She embraced his large figure, then began stroking his hair again. Feeling his heartbeat against her own skin made her determined to calm it down. At that moment, he was completely vulnerable, allowing her to do absolutely anything she wanted to. The rain was still knocking on the glass, but that sound was a blessing to both of them.

He sighed eventually, not moving an inch away from her, as if scared she could disappear at any moment. "I would be hollow without you."

[kaminokatie]

Feelings || Kylo Ren

Synopsis - After first meeting you, Kylo Ren can't get you out of his mind. After the First Order Ball, Kylo takes you back to your quarters.

Warnings -NSFW.

Word Count - 3.1k.

[Caffeinate Me]

You were General Hux’s personal assistant, you had been for the last four months now. He had decided that he needed some help with paperwork and had elected you for the role. Your duties stemmed far from paperwork though; you helped plan battles and all sorts. You were currently bent over Hux’s office table, pointing at a map of the galaxy when the door had opened behind you. You stood up and straightened your back, looking at the intruder. 

“Am I interrupting something?” Came the modulated voice of Kylo Ren from underneath his mask. 

You gulped and shook your head. “Not at all, Mr Ren.” Despite knowing who he was, this was your first time meeting the infamous force user. 

Kylo’s head snapped in Hux’s direction as he cleared his throat. “The Supreme Leader wishes to see you, General Hux.” 

“He does?” Hux asked. A speck of fear shone in his eyes, but he gulped and nodded. “Of course.” He said his goodbyes quickly before exiting the room, leaving you alone with Kylo Ren. 

There was an awkward silence between the two of you as you rolled up the map of the galaxy and placed it underneath your arm. You were about to excuse yourself when Kylo spoke. “What’s your name?” 

You looked startled for a second, looking around the room to make sure he was definitely talking to you. “My name is Y/N L/N,” you replied, trying to sound confident in yourself. 

“I haven’t seen you around before,” he mused, walking further into the room. “What is it you do?” 

“I’m General Hux’s personal assistant,” you responded. “I help do paperwork and also go as far as planning some of the battles.” 

Kylo hummed. “That will be why I haven’t seen you around at all then. Hux must be keeping you all to himself.” You couldn’t help but blush at his statement pondering, for what reason you weren’t sure. There was more silence as you continued to clear up your things from the desk. “How long have you been working with the General?” He asked, walking up to you slowly. His lightsaber was swinging by his side with every step he took and you couldn’t help but feel slightly intimidated by his large presence. 

“A few months,” you looked over your shoulder at his cracked mask. “Is there anything I can do for you, Mr Ren?” You asked suddenly once your things were cleared away. 

He shook his head. “No. I don’t believe there is.” 

You nodded in response. “Well if that’s the case I shall head out and get to doing some paperwork.” 

“Of course,” Kylo replied. He watched as you walked out of the room carrying your things by your side. He knew that his mind would be plagued by you for weeks to come. 

Since that day Kylo had been seeing you everywhere. If Hux was around then so were you, by his side. Tonight was the night of the ‘First Order Ball’. This was a simple yet elegant ball put together by General Hux and yourself for all the members of the First Order to celebrate the most recent successes across the galaxy. Kylo had begrudgingly agreed to attend - to show his mask for a while before leaving. Although this was a formal event, Kylo wore his usual attire; a mask to cover his face and completely covered from head to toe in all black. As soon as he stepped into the ship’s main room, his eyes landed on your form. You were tucked away in the corner, of course with General Hux by your side, chatting with colleagues and sipping on your alcoholic beverage. Your elegant black dress, paired with black flats, flattered your frame perfectly and Kylo felt his mouth run dry at the sight. Kylo felt his eyebrow raise underneath his mask as General Hux’s arm wrapped around your waist. Were you two a couple or something? He didn’t even know why he cared so much, but he did. 

Kylo felt a lump form in his throat as he found himself walking over to you, his feet seemingly moving on their own. His presence was noticed by most as he approached you and your group of colleagues and as soon as Hux realised he was there, he retracted his arm from around your waist and stood to attention. 

“Good evening Mr Ren,” you said, a polite smile gracing your lips.

Kylo felt his heart skip a beat as you addressed him. “It’s nice to see you. Y/N, was it?” He asked. Of course he remembered your name, he just wanted to act ‘cool’. 

“That’s right,” you grinned with a nod. “It’s nice to see you too, Sir.” 

“Ren,” Hux said sternly, his eyes boring into the masked man’s frame. “I didn’t expect you to show up.”

Kylo looked at you and smiled underneath the mask before responding, “wouldn’t miss it for the world.” You blushed at his words and looked down at your feet before sipping at your drink once more. The night continued with laughter, dancing and of course, drinking. You could feel the alcohol coursing through your veins as the night went on, your vision becoming more and more blurry with each drink you downed. Kylo stood by your side, watching you without saying a word. He was just enjoying being in your presence. As the night came winding down, more and more people were leaving the ball to go to bed. Eventually it was just you, Hux and Kylo standing in the large empty room. 

“I’d say that was a success,” you slurred, placing down your last glass of wine on a table. 

“A success indeed,” Hux replied. “Are you feeling okay Y/N? You’ve had quite a lot to drink.”

You threw your hands in the air and grinned. “I feel fantastic.” 

Kylo couldn’t help but smile underneath his mask at your drunken silliness but Hux was unbothered. “You should really go to bed,” Hux said sternly. “We still have a job to do tomorrow. Come, I’ll take you to your room.” 

Kylo placed a menacing hand on Hux’s shoulder to stop him from grabbing your arm. “I’ll take her,” his modulated voice came. “I’m heading back to my quarters anyway.” 

Hux pursed his lips but nodded. “Fine.” 

“Come Y/N,” Kylo said, holding out a gloved hand to you. You continued to grin and clumsily took his hand, skipping out of the room. Hux watched with disdain as you dragged Kylo out of the room, leading him to your quarters. 

“Did you have fun tonight?” You eventually asked Kylo as you made your way down the halls. 

“It was… tolerable,” Kylo replied, his eyes glued to your form as you continued to skip down the halls. Your hand was still firmly grasped in his. “I enjoyed it more than I thought I would if I’m being honest.” 

You smiled widely. “I’m glad.” The rest of the walk, or in your case skipping, was done in silence. Your heart was beating wildly in your chest as you reached your quarters. You squeezed Kylo’s hand before letting go and pressing your back against your bedroom door.  “This is me.” Kylo hesitated for a moment, but you just smiled at him and whispered in a seductive voice, “would you like to come in?” 

Kylo was slightly taken back by your sudden forwardness and his eyes widened. Despite this, he still felt himself nod his head in agreement. You opened the door to your room and stumbled in, Kylo following closely behind. Once you were both in your quarters, you closed the door with your foot and stumbled further into the room. Kylo’s eyes followed your form as you began to unzip your dress. His mouth ran dry as he watched your bare back come into his view as your dress slipped down onto the floor. You looked over your shoulder at him and smirked, stepping out of your dress that was now pooled at your ankles. “What are you doing?” Kylo asked, trying his hardest not to stutter. 

“Getting undressed,” you slurred. You kept your back to Kylo as you picked your dress up off the floor and threw it in the washing basket in the corner of your room. His eyes stared at the plump of your ass through your lace underwear as you bent over and he felt his cock harden at the sight. Kylo was so far in a trance he hadn’t noticed you had turned around and were staring at him with folded arms covering your bare breasts. “See something you like?” You asked cockily, swaying from side to side. 

Kylo’s hands gripped into fists by his side as he fought off the thoughts in his mind. You were drunk, so drunk, and he was sober. He couldn’t do this, but by all the God’s in the world did he want to. Ever since he first met you, Kylo had been unable to get you out of his mind and now you were standing in front of him, almost completely naked, clearly putting the moves on him. “You’re drunk,” he finally spoke up. 

“So?” You asked, tilting your head to the side. Your arms dropped to your sides revealing your perfect tits and Kylo felt his resolve break. He was nothing but a weak man in a mask. “I’m not a force user, but I sense that you want me,” you whispered seductively as you walked up to him. You placed your hands on his shoulders and stood on your tiptoes to whisper where his ear would be had he not had the mask on. “I want you too.” 

Almost immediately, Kylo pushed you onto the large bed behind you. You fell backwards with an ‘oof’ leaving your lips as you stared up at him with wide eyes. “You have no idea how much I want you,” he growled, climbing on top of you. You could feel his hardened cock beneath his trousers push against your leg and you let out a soft whine at the feeling. Kylo let his hands roam around your body, stopping at your breasts as he began to knead them desperately. “Since I first met you all those weeks ago, I’ve been unable to get you out of my fucking mind.” You said nothing but whimpers as his gloved hands played with your nipples, forcing them to pucker up. “Your body is so beautiful.” He was enjoying playing with your tits as if they were toys, but his painfully hard cock was begging for some sort of relief. Kylo grinded himself against your thighs, soft gasps leaving his lips and coming through the modulator like music to your ears. You felt yourself beginning to sober up, desperate for more. 

“Touch me,” you whimpered. 

“I am,” Kylo replied, his hands still playing with your breasts and nipples. 

“Not there.”

“Then where?” 

“Here,” you whispered, grabbing his hands and leading them down to your clothed cunt. Kylo sucked in a breath as he touched the lace of your underwear, fingers dancing under the waistband. You stared into the eyeholes of his mask, knowing he was staring back at you as he slipped a finger inside of you. You couldn’t help but let out a soft little moan and bite your lip as he began his movements inside of you. With a few more thrusts he inserted a second finger into you, stretching you open deliciously. “Mr Ren,” you whimpered out. 

“Call me Kylo,” he replied, biting his own lip as he stared at you. The faces you were making were pushing him over the edge. Kylo needed to be inside of you. He withdrew his fingers from you and fumbled with the belt of his cloak before letting it drop to the floor. You could see the outline of his muscles through his tight clothing and you truly realised how big he actually was. As you stared at him, mouth hung open, Kylo took off the rest of his clothes until he was completely naked: cock standing to attention. He was leaking pre-cum already. 

He went to take off his mask but you stopped him in his tracks, “don’t,” you whispered. “I don’t want to see who I’m fucking just yet…” 

Kylo tilted his head to the side in confusion but nodded. “As you wish.” 

He climbed on top of you, lining himself up with your entrance. Without warning, Kylo slowly pushed inside of you inch by inch, your eyes widening as he bottomed out inside of you. He went to move but you shook your head, “give me a second,” you whimpered. Kylo nodded and kept himself still for a little while longer, allowing you to adjust to his large length. After a few moments, you finally nodded. “O-Okay, you can move.” Kylo retracted his cock from your sopping cunt before ploughing himself back in, his movements starting off rough already. He couldn’t get enough of your warm wetness enveloping him, his cock already threatening to explode as you clenched around him. Your sweet moans filled the room, head spinning from the alcohol in your body and the pleasure that was filling your senses. It was all too much. 

Kylo’s hips thrusted against yours, soft moans leaving his lips with each movement he made. His hands were located on either side of your head, bunching at the sheets below. “You’re so tight,” Kylo groaned, his movements slowing down slightly. You blushed at his words, arms wrapping around his neck and pulling his torso closer to yours. Your breasts pushed against his bare chest, bouncing with each painfully hard thrust. “Gods I’ve wanted this from the second I saw you.” 

You couldn’t talk. You were being fucked dumb. Your eyes rolled into the back of your head, moaning shamelessly as his words hit your ears. “More,” you whimpered out. Kylo happily obliged, his thrusts speeding up once more. He pulled out of you completely before slamming back into you a few times, forcing you to let out a little scream of pleasure. “I’m going to cum!” You cried out, your orgasm bubbling in your gut. Within seconds, you were coming undone on his cock. Gushing over his length as he continued to rock into you. 

“Oh fuck,” Kylo gasped, his own release prematurely spilling out of the tip of his cock as your walls fluttered around him. His hips stuttered as he continued to cum deep inside of you, muffled groans coming through his voice modulator. As his hips slowed down to a halt, your breathing became more shallow as you came down from your own high. “I’m sorry.. I-I couldn’t help it,” he whispered. His intimidating demeanour changing to one of a vulnerable man.

“Hey,” you grinned. “It’s okay. It was amazing.” He pulled out of you with a pop and rolled over, laying on his back and seemingly staring at the ceiling. He didn’t respond to you, after all, he was slightly embarrassed. “Can I… See your face now?” You asked shyly. 

Kylo sat up, staring in your direction. “Are you sure?” He asked. His heart was beating rapidly both out of nerves and from the activity you had just done. You just nodded. Kylo sighed and lifted his hands up to remove his mask. His face came into your view: he was extremely handsome, more handsome than you ever imagined. Too handsome to be hiding his face under such a mask. His black hair was wavy and was slicked to his face with sweat and his brown eyes avoided your gaze. 

“Hey, look at me,” you whispered, using your finger to direct his face to yours. “What’s wrong?” You asked. 

“I don’t know,” was all he replied. 

“Don’t worry about anything,” you cooed. 

He gazed into your eyes and silence fell upon you once more. All that could be heard was both of your breathing echoing off the walls of the room. Eventually, Kylo spoke again. “I probably should have asked you this before but… you and Hux… Are you two together?” 

Your eyes widened in surprise and you couldn’t help but laugh slightly. You shook your head, “no. No we’re not.” 

“You’re very close,” Kylo mumbled. His voice was deep without the modulator, you thought it was music to your ears before, but now it was a symphony. 

“I’m his personal assistant, I have to be,” you chuckled.

“Be my personal assistant,” Kylo said quickly and without thinking. He didn’t even need a personal assistant, he just couldn’t bear the thought of you being around Hux more than him. 

“I don’t know about that,” you grinned. “I don’t think I’d be able to concentrate very much with you around.” Kylo sighed but nodded his head in understanding. He wanted to attempt to persuade you, but he knew that you wouldn’t budge on the situation. You were comfortable where you were. 

You stared at his lips as he thought deeply. You wanted nothing more than to kiss him right now. To seal your night with a passionate kiss, but you didn’t want to intrude. “Do you maybe want to do that again?” Kylo asked, his eyes searching yours for an answer. 

You smiled widely and nodded. “I’d very much like to do this again.” 

Kylo smiled weakly at you and moved to dangle his long legs off the edge of the bed. “I should probably get back to my quarters.” 

“No!” You said quickly, holding your hand out to his shoulder in an attempt to stop him from moving. “Stay with me tonight. I won’t tell anybody, I promise.” 

“You really want me to stay here tonight?” He asked. You just nodded. “I guess I can stay,” he said, suddenly smiling at you. 

“Come to sleep with me,” you said, tugging on his arm and pulling him under the covers next to your naked body. Kylo settled in beside you, wrapping his arm around your form. He placed a kiss on your temple as you closed your eyes. You were content in this moment and never wanted it to end. 

“I like you alot Y/N,” Kylo muttered as you began to drift off to sleep. 

“I like you too Kylo,” you mumbled, half asleep. Within seconds, you were snoring lightly which made Kylo chuckle slightly, being careful not to wake you. He hoped that you wouldn't regret this when you woke up next to him in the morning, that you meant what you said when you told him you wanted to do this again, but only time would tell. For now, Kylo closed his eyes and allowed himself to fall into a deep sleep, possibly the best sleep he had had in a long time. Consequences be damned, he liked you and you liked him. Maybe this was the start of something beautiful. 

[holdmytesseract]

Masterlist

Welcome to my not so spectacular masterlist, guys! Have fun reading!

DO NOT copy, translate or repost my stories. I don't give the permission to feed them to an AI bot either. Please respect that.

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Adam Driver

📽 Mission (In)Complete {Kylo Ren x reader}

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[urfavstargirl1]

The Empress, Part X

A/n: Here's a May the 4th gift for y'all. Thanks for your patience in this last chapter and support for this series. This series is what brought me to writing fanfic in the first place and I can't believe where it's taken me since. I'm so grateful for everyone reading and enjoying what I have to write. Without further ado, I present the last chapter in The Empress series, I hope you enjoy.

AO3 Link

Kylo Ren x Female Reader

Words: 10,700

Chapters: 10/10 

Chapter Summary: Kylo and Y/n attend the Emporer's Ball where they introduce themselves as a couple. What will happen when the empire learns of The Supreme Leader and his soon to be Empress?

Story Summary: As Kylo Ren steps into power as Supreme Leader, he struggles to use his power to effectively lead the Empire. Y/N is a renowned Commander eagerly working her way up the ranks. Her loyalty to the Empire is tested when the Supreme Leader suddenly takes an interest in her. When one date becomes several and she is ultimately tasked with becoming Empress and wife of the Supreme Leader, will Y/N be able to handle that kind of power outside the commander’s uniform?

CW: angst, swearing, romance, kissing, making out, fluff, implied sex

“Is it too late to back out now?” I lock my eyes with him through the mirror.

“Technically, no.”

I look over my shoulder to Kylo. I gasp when the lady’s maid tightens the final strings to the corset of my dress. I turn my attention back to my reflection. Waves of bright crimson fabric, chosen by Kylo, consume my gaze. When I look at my face, I hardly recognize myself. Instead of my usual slicked backed uniform bun or light makeup, my hair is done in thickly coiled waves and glamorous makeup sculpted to perfection. My ears and neck are adorned with glittering diamonds. 

“You look beautiful, my love,” Kylo murmurs from behind and heat rises to my cheeks. He wraps his arms around my waist and lightly presses a kiss to my ear before whispering, “It’s time.”

I take a deep breath, feeling the air as it fills my lungs. I turn around and feel the dense yards of fabric in my skirt swoosh with the movement.

I reach out and take his hands in mine. We look at our hands then into each other's eyes.

“Are you ready?”

“I think so.” I nod

“You have nothing to fear.”

“Easy for you to say.” I roll my eyes.

“Y/n,” he scolds.

“I know. I know… I want to be positive, but the anticipation of how people will react to us is killing me.”

 “I anticipate that the news will rile everyone up a bit at first, but with time, they will see what I see: a beautiful and magnificent woman who will be a stellar empress.”

I smile and look down bashfully. I don’t think Kylo knows the effects his words have on me. Even though they are simple words that can easily be overlooked if his actions do not correspond with them, he often speaks truthfully. And with every word he speaks, it feeds my spirit and caresses my soul. 

“Whatever happens Kylo, please know that I truly do love you with all my heart and soul.”

“Y/n, we are not marching off to our deaths,” he teases.

“You may not be, for this is the path that has been paved before you. But for me, this is a moment in which I am forging a new path… You must know how treacherous that is.”

He nods with empathy and squeezes my hands. He brings them up to his lips and presses a soft kiss to each. 

“I love you to the ends of the universe,” he replies and my heart flutters. 

“Why do people say I love you to the moon and back. The moon isn’t even that far. It’s actually the closest thing to us in our solar system so it’s actually like saying I love you to the end of the hall and back. Really people should be saying I love you to the ends of the galaxy and back because that’s much bigger.”

“But there are millions of galaxies in this universe. Would that not too constitute a lackluster definition of expansive love.”

“Yeah, I guess so. Then perhaps to the ends of the universe and back. The universe is infinite and even then constantly expanding, so it would be much more poetic to say your love is infinite and ever increasing like the bounds of the universe.” He presses a soft kiss to my lips and pulls away.

“I cannot promise you that this will be easy, but I can promise you that you will not be alone,” he assures and I know he’s not just talking about himself.

“Balia, Karmir, I have something really important to tell you guys. It’s possibly the biggest news I could ever have to tell you, but I hope it doesn’t change the way you guys see me at all.”

“You’re pregnant,” Balia gasps.

“No, I’m not pregnant.”

“But you and Kylo finally did it right,” Karmir squeals.

“Well, okay yes, but that’s not what I’m talking about right now.”

“Ooh!” Balia and Karmir sequel in unison.

“How was it?”

“Tell us everything!”

“Well, I’m-I mean it was… It was really really good,” I blush and they squeal. “Like, I was definitely seeing stars.” I smile bashfully, secretly giddy over my friends’ reaction.

“But seriously that is not what I wanted to tell you guys. I meant to tell you that… that Kylo asked me to marry him.”

“And what did you say?”

“Please tell me you said yes!”

I said yes,” I squeal and raise my left hand. My friends shriek and we all wave our hands back and forth. 

“Y/n congratulations!”

“We’re so happy for you!”

“But that’s not all. I said yes which means we’re going to get married but it also means… I’m going to become the Empress… The Empress of the First Order.”

“What? That’s incredible!” 

“Holy shit, the royal pain in our butt is finally getting the crown she deserves!”

“Seriously Y/n, we’re so happy for you. You’re going to be the best empress ever” Balia says and we all lean in for a group hug.

He’s right. I’m not alone. No matter what happens, as long as I have him and I have my friends, I have all I need. 

Kylo outstretches his arm and offers his hand to me. I link my arm with his and smile up at him with confidence. He returns an equally elated smile.

As he leads me out into the corridor and we make our way to the main entrance, I think about all the moments that have led me to this one. All the soldiers and missions and memories splay out one by one. It’s weird how far away those moments seem now. And even now, as I stand here clothed in the finest fabrics and jewels of the galaxy, it almost feels like a dream.

“You ready,” he asks.

We’ve reached the top of the grand staircase. Most soldiers enter the emperor's ball through the various other entry points but entering through the grand staircase is a ceremony reserved for the highest ranking officials: the generals and Supreme Leader.

The Supreme Leader's entrance is last but definitely not least. Especially when, for the first time, Kylo is accompanied by a special guest.

Our position at the top of the staircase is visually blocked by the ceiling of the floor beneath us. 

As I stand, hand in hand with my soon to be husband, I imagine what the crowd must look like below. If I wasn’t so anxious, I would laugh at how absurd the notion is. I can't see them and they can't see us. We are both left in gripling anticipation.

“You know, you could still back out if you wanted to,” Kylo says in simultaneous jest and earnestness while squeezing my hand.

“Ladies and gentlemen, it is with great pleasure that the First Order announces the arrival of the Supreme Leader of the First Order, Kylo Ren, and his guest of honor.”

“Too late,” I whisper, “Looks like you’re stuck with me.” He snickers.

“Attending with Sir Ren is his fiancee, soon to be Empress of the First Order,” gasps fills my ears, “and former vice admiral of the First Order’s Armed Forces…” at this part the announcer pauses and a wave of silence crashes across the room. 

Kylo takes his first step forward and I follow suit. In an almost slow motion, the announcer says my name, “Y/n Y/l/n.”

I would remain frozen if it weren’t for Kylo’s grip on my hand leading me down the stairs.

As we slowly, almost painstakingly, descend down the steps, the vision of the crowd comes into view. It is customary that when the Supreme Leader is presented that the audience responds with applause, but tonight is different.

At the sight of me, hand in hand with Kylo, members of the crowd gasp or are too in shock to do or say anything. I scan the crowd, trying to locate anyone I might know but there are too many people, all the faces become a blur. My face grows hot and I put on a nervous smile and tighten my grip on Kylo's hand.

When we reach the bottom of the steps, we pause for a moment. Kylo remains regally stoic and stares straight ahead, as if ready for battle. I scan the faces directly in front of me, many of which have eyes widened and dropped jaws. I look back up to Kylo again and he smiles down at me and nods approvingly. I smile at the faces before me, some of whom soften their own expressions in response. I continue to smile while subtly fidgeting with the fabric of my dress as Kylo lets his subjects bask in the sight of their new Empress.

After a few moments, we’re escorted to the high ranking officials table: a long rectangular table placed on a stage at the front of the ballroom to allow for the Supreme Leader and his generals to be within view of all attendees. 

The room is filled with dozens of round tables, many of which we weave through to get to our designated spot. For years, I used to sit at these tables, but it didn’t hit me till just now that I wouldn’t continue sitting at one tonight, or ever again for that matter. They’re not that comfortable anyway, but they were all I’ve ever known. 

Once the Supreme Leader, the generals, their guests, and I have been seated, the rest of the attendees carry on being seated. When realization of the events that have just transpired set in, whispers fill the room and heat floods my body. The people at my table begin conversing, but I don’t pay attention. Instead I try to overhear what the people below are saying, but none of it is discernible. 

Once all are seated, the dinner portion of the evening ensues. After the small talk and peasantries subside, all eyes and questions are directed at me. Who am I? Where did I come from? How did I meet Kylo? How do I feel about getting married and becoming empress? 

Once our first course arrives, I’m spared by the delicious plate of food. As the courses continue, the meals are lovely and dinner goes by smoothly enough. General Hux and Ameen are present at my table and their familiar faces are enough to put me at ease. Conversation passes easily thanks to Ameen and a few other generals. 

I’m meeting them all for the first time, but they’ve all known each other for so long that their chemistry is electric and conversation flies back and forth too quickly to leave me any room to participate. I’m grateful, in a way, to be spared, but it also leaves me with enough awareness to sense the attention on me from other attendees. 

Between courses, I glance over at the round tables. Surely Locke and Neela will be in attendance along with the other members of my former unit, but I can't seem to locate them. I’ve left the shore and am now in uncharted waters.

“Are you okay,” Kylo whispers to me while two of the other generals have taken the lead in the table conversation. He places a hand on my thigh and squeezes it. I place my hand under his and interlock our fingers.

“Yep. Just admiring the beautiful decorations,” I say, a half truth, with a squeeze of his hand.

Once the servers begin clearing the tables, the announcer stands at a podium by the table and begins speaking into the microphone. 

“Ladies and gentlemen, if I may have your attention please.” All clicks and clatters of dishware and chattering voices fade to a silence.

“It is customary that we commence the dancing portion of the ball, a tradition in which we introduce our honored members of the First Order military by rank. This year's ball will begin with a special dance between the Supreme Leader and his guest of honor. In subsequent songs, members of subsequent ranks will be allowed to join the floor.”

I look at Kylo with widened eyes and he only closes his own eyes and nods.

“Did you know this was happening?” I hiss at him.

“No.” He responds coolly.

“But they always start with generals! You’ve never had to dance at one of these before.”

“That’s because I never had anyone to dance with at one of these before.”

“For the first dance of the evening, The First Order proudly presents the Supreme Leader, Kylo Ren, and his guest of honor, Y/n Y/l/n,” the announcer blares into the microphone.

I look at Kylo and he’s already standing. His hand stretches out for me to grab. I turn to look at the crowd. Hundreds of pairs of eyes are on me and I gulp. It’s like I’m not even in my own body anymore and I’m watching from some weird outer perspective.

“Y/n,” Kylo calls out, “C'mon,” he says with a tilt of his head in the direction of the dance floor.

I shakily rise from my seat and grab onto his hand for relief. I grip it tightly as I slowly and robotically follow him onto the dance floor. I can’t shake the feeling of so many people watching me. It feels like my corset is even tighter and my dress is getting perpetually damp under my arms with every step I take.

We stop in the center of the dancefloor and a spotlight shines directly above us. I look at him like a deer in headlights. He places his right hand on my waist and raises his left hand. My body is frozen.

“Put your left hand on my shoulder,” he gently directs. I hesitantly do so and interlock my other hand with his. For a moment, all I can see is him. The light up above illuminates his face so brightly it drowns out everything around us. Despite my current state of disarray, seeing him like this is enough to anchor me in a sea of eyes and anxious thoughts.

Then, the music starts to play, and Kylo gently begins to lead my body along with his. He’s a natural. Our dance is formal yet he glides our moving bodies across the floor like water. In a moment like this, I’d never admit it to him, but it’s nice to have someone else take control. 

“This can’t be the same former commander who danced with a stranger in a foreign tavern just to spite me,” he smirks and I glare at him.

“That’s different and you know it. And besides, I wasn’t in a room full of hundreds of people, all of whom I knew and/or needed to impress.”

“Who says you need to impress anybody?”

“Well, look around. I’m going to be their empress soon and I want to be worthy of that title.”

“What makes you think you’re not worthy already?”

“Well…” I stumble, failing to find a reason why.

“Y/n, everything you are is already worthy enough to be empress. There’s nothing you need to prove to anyone here, including me.”

I furrow my brows. He’s right, but why is this surprising to me? In a way, I always felt like I had something to prove and sought to prove myself to others, but I just didn’t think it was so apparent to others just how much I vie for their validation. I can’t think of a time when I wasn’t this way, and even now, I don’t know how else to be. 

“It’s just… I don’t take any of this lightly Kylo and I guess it’s important to me that they see that.”

“They will, Y/n, with time. You and I both know you will be the most stellar empress the First Order has ever seen, but that sort of thing doesn’t just happen overnight. To be the kind of leader I know you want to be, it will take some time to build people’s trust, but it doesn’t mean you weren’t worthy at any step along the way. When someone is truly worthy, it is impossible not to see it.”

I nod as I process his words. There’s something else that would take a lot for me to actually admit to him, and it’s that he’s right. And he’s not just right because he knows this, he’s right because he’s lived this.  

“Are you okay,” he interrupts my thoughts. 

I smile and lower my eyelids as heat rises to my cheeks.

“Yeah, I’m just thinking. I guess I ought to thank you for the pep talk, coach.”

“Y/n,” he chuckles and rolls his eyes.

“I’m kidding,” I say and close the gap between us by pressing my cheek to his chest. I close my eyes as we continue to sway to the music. He caresses my hair for a moment until I pull away and look up at him.

 “I love you Kylo. Your support means the world to me. In fact, you’ve had such an impact on me that I can’t imagine what my life would be like without you and I don’t even want to'' 

“I share the exact same sentiment. But I must say, even if I wasn’t the Supreme Leader and I was just Kylo Ren, I would still choose you. You would still be the person that completes me,” he responds and dips his head low enough to press his lips onto mine. It’s a slow full bodied kiss, one that holds me in a trance till the sound of applause breaks me from it. 

I break apart from the kiss and look from left to right. I’m grateful Kylo is holding me or else I’m sure my knees would have given out from underneath me. Dozens of people are clapping and few have even risen from their chairs to holler and whistle. I squeal and instantly press my forehead into Kylo’s broad chest to hide the raging blush spreading like wildfire across my neck and cheeks. His body vibrates with laughter and as he strokes my hair, he kisses the top of my head.

“How are you not freaked out by this?” I hiss. 

“Well, for one, I guess I’m used to the attention. And two… well, it fills me with pride to have the empire see me embrace the woman I love, who will rule alongside me.” I beam up at him. I look back at the crowd around us and try to imagine how we must look from their perspective. I look back up at him and the unease in the pit of my stomach slowly evaporates and forms a new wave of gratification.

Soon enough, the song fades into a new one and I see Hux and the rest of the generals joining us. As each song passes, the next one gets faster and as more people join the dancefloor things rapidly evolve into a high energy almost mosh pit like mass of dancing attendees. When things get too crowded, Kylo excuses himself for something to drink and I continue to dance with some of the members of my former unit I ran into.

Questions and comments like “Wow, I can’t believe you’re with the Supreme Leader!”, “To be honest, a lot of us didn’t ever think he would find someone to be his empress, but now that he has, we’re really glad it’s you.”, “Just promise us you won’t become scary like the Supreme Leader.”, and “How did that even happen, Y/n?” are thrown at me from every which direction. It surprised me at first, but became exciting getting to explain my relationship with Kylo and all the things I love about him. 

“Y/n, I knew it!” I turn around and am greeted by that familiar warm brown skin and dazzling brown eyes.

“Neela,” I exclaim as we hug.

“I totally called you and the Supreme Leader. Everyone thought I was crazy for it, but I know what I saw. The love you two have for each other was undeniable then and it's just as undeniable now.”

“You really did Neela. I’m sorry I couldn’t have told you earlier. Things were still kind of early then and we had a lot of things to figure out before we could put our relationship on full public display you know?”

“Yeah of course, I understand! He’s not just an average guy so you have to be extra careful with every step you take.”

“Yes, that's exactly how it feels! Are you dating the supreme leader too?” I joke and she awkwardly laughs.

“No, but something similar happened to my older sister. She lives in the Seeset galaxy and we come from a common family but she married into royalty on our home planet so traversing that relationship was a big deal and took a toll on the family and the people of our planet for a bit but eventually people got used to it and things settled down and now they’re happier than ever and even expecting their second child soon.”

Woah who said anything about kids just yet.

“Oh wow, yeah that’s a lot like what I’m going through, so far at least. It’s really insightful to hear that so thank you Neela. You know, before any of this stuff happened, I always saw you as the little sister I never had, mainly in a work capacity, but as of late, I feel that in a personal way. You’re really something special and if you ever need anything, you can always count on me.”

“I feel the same way, well except you as an older sister. But thank you, that means so much to me. And if there’s ever anything I can do for you, just say the word. My loyalty is not lost on the soon to be Empress. You know a lot of us were never really rooting for the Supreme Leader, but we were always rooting for you. But your connection with him makes us wonder if maybe we had him figured out all wrong. Or maybe you’re just what The First Order and what the Supreme Leader needed.”

“I-I that’s the most heartwarming thing I’ve heard all night. You have no idea how worried I was about announcing our relationship and how others would receive it. I know it’s shocking, in fact the beginning of our relationship was just me being shocked by everything that happened, but Kylo was the one I fell in love with and is my soulmate and life partner. I never expected it to happen, it just did. But I'm glad that people are warming up to the idea of us.”

“Yeah a lot of people were pretty shocked at first. It was the talk of the dinner, but I think seeing you two together and interacting it's obvious how much you love and complement each other.”

“Wow, thanks, I really needed to hear that.”

“Yeah I wouldn’t stress it too much. You’re going to do really well as Empress. We’re all really excited for you.”

“Thanks Neela. Thanks for everything.” We hug and I hold on for another second, on the brink of tears trying to hold back.

“I have to go to the restroom, but I’m really glad I saw you tonight and that we could have this talk.”

“Of course. I’ll be seeing you around your majesty,” she responds with a bow and my eyes widen. I instantly make a beeline toward the bathroom and miraculously its empty. I take a moment to compose myself and breathe deeply. The adrenaline and anxiety of wondering how people would respond to Kylo and I is wearing off now that I know we’re being received with excitement and hope. But, there’s only one last person to face.

I take a few more breaths and exit the bathroom with purpose. I scan the tables in front of me and don’t recognize any of the faces. I do the same with the dance floor and have no luck. I make my way to the refreshment table and decide to at least take a breather and get something to drink. Before I can even take my first sip, I’m interrupted. 

“Y/n, there you are. I’ve been looking all over for you,” Kylo comes up from behind me.

“Hey baby, what’s up,” I ask and take a refreshing sip.

“There’s a few people I want you to meet,” he replies with a devilishly handsome smile.

“Should I be scared,” I tease.

“With me, never. C’mon,” he holds out his arm for me. I interlock my arm and follow his guide. 

Turns out, the few people he wanted me to meet weren’t close friends or close professional acquaintances but whole dignitaries and ambassadors from various planets across the First Order. I greet each with incredible humility and reservation, an attempt to prevent me from embarrassing either one of us while Kylo converses with each as though they have been friends for years.  His demeanor is confident and radiant and I can’t help but think that if this was the side of Kylo that was the default for First Order soldiers, then people wouldn’t be so afraid of him. I guess it's all an act to save face and appear to be what an authority figure should be like. But if everyone got to see what I’m seeing now, then I think the leadership dynamic of the First Order would be quite different.

This goes on for almost an hour until I’ve shaken hands with about a thousand, realistically twenty, people. 

“We hope you enjoy your stay on Starkiller base and appreciate your attendance for tonight's event,” Kylo says to what I’m hoping is the last new person I’ll talk to forever.

“Kylo, I don’t know how you do it. I’m utterly exhausted now.”

“It’s all part of the job I guess,” he charmingly shrugs and places a kiss on my cheek.

“But you did great, my empress,” my heart flutters as he pulls me in for an embrace and kisses the top of my head. “Everyone absolutely adores you.”

“I’m glad I could be of service,” I say with a dry laugh.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I think I’m just going to go outside for some fresh air. I’m glad I could meet all those people and I’m even more glad I was able to make a great first impression, but that really took a lot out of me, so I think I’m just gonna go recover my energy for a bit.”

“Do you want me to go with you?”

“No, it’s okay. I know there’s some other people you still need to mingle with. I’ll just be out for a little while.”

“Okay, well remember the award ceremony will start soon so be sure to come back in by then.”

“Sure thing,” I say and give him a quick kiss. 

I feel him watching me as I walk to the other side of the ballroom and pass through the open door to the outdoor courtyard. The garden has been manicured to perfection and the luscious fragrance of their flowers fills my nostrils. The scent is utterly delicious and intoxicating. I make my way toward a railing that overlooks the stars.

I take a few deep breaths and admire the clusters of stars before me. Their bright light entrances me and I feel hypnotized by their varying shapes, colors, and patterns. This space warms my heart and brings simultaneous feelings of strangeness yet fondness when I realize it is yet another part of the empire I will soon come to reign over.

But, it reminds me of the first date I had with Kylo. I guess our first dinner together could be called a date right? Stars it was so awkward but who knew it would be the beginning of all this, of something so grand and beautiful? 

But that night, I remember a moment where I was doing something similar to what I’m doing now, but with Kylo. And I had told him that it was a beautiful empire he ruled over. Little did I know that one day the beautiful empire he ruled over would be a beautiful empire I could rule over too.

“Y/n,” a voice asks from behind me.  

I whip my head around and see a pair of blue eyes beneath furrowed eyebrows and a head of golden hair.

“Locke,” I whisper.

“What are you doing out here? Why are you alone?”

“I, um, the ball was getting a bit overwhelming for me so I needed a bit of a breather.”

“Oh,” he replies, his tone indicating that that wasn’t what he was expecting me to say.

He takes a few steps over and joins me at the railing.

“How are you enjoying the ball,” I ask casually, hoping to preserve some semblance of normalcy.

He cocks his head and scowls before wiping the look on his face and replacing it with a subtle discomfort.

“Um, I… it’s definitely different from any of the balls of previous years,” he says, choosing his words carefully. I nod in acknowledgement but am unsure how to respond to the statement.

“Yes, it has been quite different.” I respond and then an awkward silence fills the space between us. Perhaps I should have said something else. But what should I say? How do I acknowledge this without creating any sort of–

“You know when rumor started going around that for the first time in First Order history Kylo Ren would be bringing a guest of honor to the ball, I couldn’t really believe it. I honestly thought it was just petty gossip or someone’s morbid idea of a joke,” he explains in a neutral tone.

“But when Neela brought up the ball and asked if you would be going with anyone and you said you were, I was almost doubly surprised. I didn’t believe it because I thought you were incapable of it like Kylo, but because it seemed out of character. I mean, you hadn’t brought a guest to the ball in a while and you never mentioned anyone in your life that could be significant enough to bring to an event like this. You said you would surprise us, so I just figured it was some new boyfriend or girlfriend or whatever, but not… not this… not him…” he chokes.

I open my mouth to say something but nothing comes out. My silence leaves so much left unsaid that Locke continues speaking.

“This was one hell of a surprise Y/n. I guess I can’t say that I didn’t completely see this coming, but I just can’t believe you would hide this from us. Neela and I made comments about the Supreme Leader left and right and you never said anything, and then you suddenly just drop this gigantic bomb on us that not only are you seeing the Supreme Leader but you’re going to marry him and you’re going to become his empress? That’s fucking bullshit,” he raises his voice and throws his arms up. I lean closer against the railing and observe him pace around.

“Now what? You have nothing to say?”

“I wasn’t sure if you were finished,” I say in a much smaller voice than I’d intended. He looks at me with annoyance.

“I wanted to tell you, I just didn’t know how. And honestly, I was afraid of how you would react. And this,” I move my hand in a circle motion in his direction, “lets me know that I made the right decision in not telling you till now.”

“How did it happen?” He taps his finger to his jaw and looks down with a concentrated facial expression.

“You and Kylo Ren, how did it happen?”

I’m a bit taken aback by his question and the way he worded it.

“It-it just did.”

“No it didn’t y/n and you know it. Things like this don’t just happen.”

I take a deep breath and contemplate my next words. I mean I really don’t owe Locke an explanation but I still feel compelled to. He still means something to me so I think maybe I do owe him that much, but I also owe it to myself to be firm and confident no matter what.

“Okay, maybe it didn’t just happen, but it felt that way. Up until the things with the Planet Korr missions started happening, I never paid much attention to the Supreme Leader outside of duty hours. But one day, he expressed an interest in me and I was curious to find out more about him. And then our work started to bring us closer together and as we spent more time with one another, our feelings started to grow.”

“You expect me to believe that?”

“Yes Locke, because that’s what happened.”

“C’mon Y/n, you can fool everyone out there, but you can’t fool me.”

“I’m not trying to fool you or anyone for that matter! I’m telling the truth.”

“Then why don’t I believe you?”

“I don’t know why you don’t believe me. It probably has something to do with you more than it does with me. I know that I’m telling the truth and if you can’t believe that then I know there’s nothing more I can do or say to change your mind.”

“Just answer me this one question.”

“Okay.”

“Why him?”

“Why him?”

“Yeah, why Kylo Ren? Why the Supreme Leader? Of all the people in the galaxy to be with, you choose him?”

“Well it wasn’t really like I chose to love him.”

“Seriously Y/n, you know what I’m saying! Why did it have to be him? What could he possibly have to offer you besides a title?”

I gasp. It’s so deep I almost choke.

“Locke, are you serious? Do you truly think so low of me?” 

A scowl drapes his features but then his cheeks turn bright red and his shoulders sag a bit.

“If you must know, I did not decide to marry the Supreme Leader, I chose to marry Kylo Ren because that’s who I want to be with. And I would do it again, regardless of his rank. Despite his anger and other flaws, he is a good man with a pure and honest heart.”

Locke glares at me.

“I know you only get to see the daunting afflicted side of the Supreme Leader, but there’s a side to him that is charming and caring and loyal. I know it might be hard to believe and, for a while, I could barely believe it myself, but it’s there. I hope to share that side of him with the people of the First Order because that is the side of him I fell in love with.”

“Still, I really don’t know what you see in him.”

“It doesn’t matter if you don’t. All that matters is that I do.”

“But you could do so much better.”

“Like who? Like you?”

He smacks his teeth in disgust.

“No. It’s not like that, I promise. Maybe in the past it might’ve been, but it isn’t anymore. In fact, there’s someone else I’ve got my eye on… who I’ve had my eye on for a while…” He turns and looks to the floor to ceiling window dividing us from the rest of the party. On the other side of the glass is a petite and slender girl with bright blonde hair wrapped in an ornate bun and clad in a baby blue ball gown. 

“Camryn?” I ask and he nods with a faint blush. She’s a commander from a neighboring unit that was assigned by General Hux to our most recent Planet Korr Mission.

“You know, I thought the two of you worked well together. I hadn’t imagined that would translate outside of duty hours as well.”

“Yeah. I had seen her around but hadn’t really worked with her directly prior to the mission but once there we had to spend a lot of time together and one thing led to another…” he trails off and I give him a knowing look. A look of concentration appears on his features. Movement in the corner of my eye catches my attention and I see Kylo appear on the other side of the glass, next to Camryn. He raises his eyebrows at me, as if to ask if everything is okay. I press my lips together and nod with a slight shrug. 

“Look, Y/n, any sort of inappropriate feeling I might have had for you at one point is long gone. Now, I see you as a sister, like a member of my work family. And I just worry about you. I’m concerned about you.”

“I appreciate your concern and know that I only hope the best for you. I hope you can understand that there are people who choose to conduct themselves much differently in public than they do in private. Kylo and I are both those types of people. So it may not make sense on the outside, but on the inside, he’s the perfect match for me in every possible way. I apologize for blindsighting you or anything like that because it was not my intention. But I just ask that you try to understand the circumstances I was in that led me to choose that option. To pursue things with Kylo was the most difficult thing I have ever done in my entire life, but I would do it again in a heartbeat,” I say and look over to where Kylo is still standing. He looks at me proudly and gives a small encouraging nod and it makes my heart swell. I turn to see Locke witnessing our interaction and the look of realization spreads across his features.

“I see.”

“I hope one day, you can experience the happiness I am experiencing with Kylo. Whether it be with Camryn or whomever your true love may be.” I offer an encouraging smile. 

“Thanks,” he says solemnly yet thankfully. 

“Perhaps we should go inside. Don’t want to keep them waiting all night long,” I say and nod my head in the direction of our significant others. 

We shuffle back into the venue and approach Kylo and Camryn. Kylo, all dark and twisted and beautiful, stands a good foot taller than Camryn, light and glistening like a diamond and the sight of such contrast alone makes me stifle a laugh.

“Hi Camryn”

“Hello, ma’am, er, madame. I’m not sure what I should call you.”

“It’s okay. I’m not sure what you should call me either but I’d be much more comfortable if you called me Y/n.”

“Okay… Y/n.” She blushes bashfully and interlocks her arm with Locke’s.

“Kylo, you know Locke right,” I ask knowing full well they do but realizing this is the first time they are being acquainted in a personal facet.

“Locke, it’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance,” Kylo says with an outstretched hand.

“The pleasure is all mine sir.”

“Call me Kylo.”

“Uh… really?”

“No not really,” Kylo teases but it goes over Locke’s head and the look of shock on his face makes me laugh.

“I’m teasing, of course. You may call me by my first name if you so wish, as long as it’s outside duty hours.”

“Yes, sir.” Locke replies blankly and even Camryn giggles.

“Oh and Kylo, this is Camryn. She’s one of our finest up and coming commanders who attended our most recent mission to Planet Korr. And she’s also attending tonight's ball with Locke,” I introduce. 

“It is an honor, sir,” she sheepishly says with a bow.

“The honor is all mine. And I thank you both for your service. It does not go unnoticed,” Kylo graciously responds and Locke looks like he might pass out at any moment. 

It humors me but almost makes me smile to think of how mundane this moment is yet how far we’ve come to even reach it all. 

“Locke and I were just outside… catching up on things… It’s been far too long, hasn’t it,” I say and look to Locke.

“Look Y/n, there’s something I think I should warn you about and Sir, this concerns you too,” Locke starts and looks up at Kylo. I want to laugh at how obviously afraid he is of referring to Kylo by his own name, but his tone worries me.

“What is it?”

“Well, we’ve been talking to some of the other attendees at the ball. A lot of the ones from our unit have been excited about the news of your potential union and possibly becoming empress, but everyone else… well, they don’t really share that same excitement.”

I jerk my head back, surprised at his words, especially considering what Neela told me, but I guess her’s was only one side of the story.

“What is everyone else saying?” I can’t help but ask.

“Everyone’s just really confused. Everyone’s saying that it feels like this all came out of nowhere. They don’t understand because the Supreme Leader had never taken an interest in anyone and then all of a sudden one of the First Order’s own soldiers ended up with him. I think it also doesn’t help that they don’t really know you either since they haven’t really worked with you like everyone in our unit has.”

“Well it’s none of their business,” Kylo growls, breath quickening. I place my hand on his bicep and shake my head.

“But it is. We are their leaders. Their curiosity is warranted,” I reply and we all remain breathless for a moment.

“So is that all? Is that what everyone’s been talking about?”

“Well, there is one more thing…”

“Okay.”

“I don’t think you’re going to like it very much.”

“It doesn’t matter how I feel. We need to know the truth in order to determine our course of action.”

“Because everyone’s really confused and you and the Supreme Leader, a lot of people have been trying to come up with explanations of their own. So far, the leading theory is that … this union is your doing, Y/n. That it was your plan all along to marry him… because it would be closer to the throne than even the highest rank in the military.”

I let out a breath as though I’ve been punched in the stomach. My knees start to wobble and I place my hand on Kylo’s forearm with an iron grip.

“Y/n,” Kylo calls out and brings my body closer to him for stability. Every inch of my body tenses up.

“It’s fine. I’m fine” I whimper and my voice sounds even louder because the music has cut out.

“Ladies and gentlemen, if I may have your attention please,” the announcer blares into the microphone. “We know you’ve all been dancing the night away, but if you would please return to your seats. The coveted annual award ceremony for the First Order military will commence shortly.” And like that, the lights come on and bodies start shuffling. 

“We need to go and say something,” Kylo directs and tries to get me to move but I’m still frozen.

“No.”

“No?” Kylo and Locke ask in unison.

“No, at least not right now. We should let the award ceremony carry on as usual. I don’t want to ruin the night any more than we already have. After the award ceremony, we can make a grand speech and address the people. But not right now. This moment right now is about honoring members of the First Order military and their service.” 

“Are you sure,” Kylo asks with the deepest wells of concern in his eyes. I nod and press my body against his. He holds me tightly against him and presses a kiss to my temple. 

“C’mon, let’s not ruin all the fun,” I try to say with cheer. 

“Wait Locke,” I say as he starts turning around to walk with Camryn to their table.

“Thank you,” I say while hugging him.

“What for?”

“For being a good friend,” I pull away and look into his eyes. They’re filled with a bit of remorse but mostly appreciation. 

“I should be the one thanking you. You’ve helped me out in unimaginable ways. I truly do hope for nothing but the best for you and Kylo,” he shudders saying Kylo’s name and I laugh.

“It’s an acquired taste. You’ll get used to it.”

“I’m not counting on it,” he teases. “Enjoy the rest of your night,” he says earnestly.

“Thanks. You too,” I respond and head back to my table with Kylo. 

I try to keep my composure, meanwhile, all I can do is think about what I could possibly do or say to improve the situation. 

Once we’re seated, the announcer commences the award ceremony. Kylo and the rest of the general are called to the stage to stand alongside the awards table. Kylo passes out each medal or plaque to a recipient and that recipient shakes the hand of the Supreme Leader and follows down the line to shake the hands of the remaining generals. 

As the announcer calls upon the names of various soldiers for various different awards and accolades I recognize a few from my unit and learn new names and faces for the rest. I try my best to pay attention and clap after every name is called, because as the soon to be Empress I should be involved in things like this. But then my thoughts linger and I wonder what it is I might say when I address the people.

 By the end of the award ceremony there is one final award to be given and my anxiety heightens in anticipation of making my speech soon after.

 “Ladies and gentlemen, to end the night on a high note, we have our last and final award. This award is the most prestigious award given throughout the entire First Order military. Each year a panel of committee members composed of a representative general from each unit of the First Order military joins together to select an honorary recipient of the Medal of Honor and Valor. And while the Supreme Leader has a hand in selecting and approving all other award recipients, he has no involvement in the selection of the recipient for the Medal of Honor and Valor. 

This award is one of the highest honors one can receive. The person chosen for this award has demonstrated an exceptional dedication to the First Order. This year the Medal of Honor and Valor goes to someone who has shown exceptional strength, bravery, intellect, and compassion towards their fellow soldiers, units, and overall First Order realm. The recipient of the award has shown outstanding calculus in her initiative to conduct peace and cooperation throughout the Empire. This person has been honored by her subordinates, peers, and mentors for her conduct and innovation in the acquisition of new territory to the First Order-,” the announcer says and instantly my stomach sinks to my toes. 

“This year’s Medal of Honor and Valor goes to none other than… Y/n Y/l/n!” The announcer declares and half the room cheers while the other half remains too stunned to do anything.

I’m frozen in my chair until the announcer says, “Y/n Y/l/n, will you please come to the stage.” I leap out of my seat and cautiously walk over to the stage, tunneling my vision on Kylo. I stop in place in front of him and laboriously try to catch my breath.

“Congratulations Y/n,” he smiles warmly at me. Oh stars I could just kiss him for saying that. My thoughts are all over the place but after Kylo’s congratulations they all seem to center on him. Part of me feels so gratified to hear him say those words and to see the pride in his eyes, but another part of me feels like none of this is real or that it shouldn’t be happening.

He places the medal between his hands and raises the ribbon above my head to place it over me, but before he does, I reflexively step a step back. I look up at him with widened eyes and furrowed eyebrows. He lowers his hands and takes a step forward, his eyes filled with concern.

“Y/n, what is the matter?”

“I don’t think I can accept this award.” I squeak while shaking my head.

“What?”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because… I don’t… deserve it.”

“Nonsense! Of course you deserve this” He declares. I don’t say anything but I can’t help thinking that it still doesn’t feel that way. It must show on my face, because Kylo puts the medal back on the table and grabs my hands in his.

“There’s no one I know more deserving of this award than you. Your diligence and merit speak for themselves.”

“But still, it doesn’t feel right. I mean, I am very grateful to have been deemed worthy enough to receive this award, but somehow, actually receiving it feels wrong.”

“Why does it feel wrong?”

“Because…” I start and turn around to look at everyone in the crowd either looking at me or whispering to one another.

“Y/n, you’re worried about them?”

I look down and nod. He takes a deep breath and sighs. I look up at him and his eyes scan the crowd. His shoulders visibly tense and reflexively, I place my hands atop them. They soften and he places his hands along my waist. 

“In my heart, you are the most deserving person in the galaxy of this award. It shouldn’t matter what they think, but if it matters to you and you truly to not wish to receive it, then I will stand by you.”

“Thank you” I nod shallowly and hug him tightly. When we pull apart, he looks down at me with restraint in his features.

“So what would you like to do now?”

“I think I would like to address the crowd. Maybe explain things and just properly introduce myself. Properly reintroduce ourselves as a couple.”

“Okay. Is there anything you want me to do?”

“I just need you by my side. And if I can’t find the right words, I need you to…”

“Already done,” he smiles at me. He cups my cheek in his hand and kisses my forehead. I close my eyes and sigh. I open them and walk to the podium. I can hear Kylo’s footsteps behind me and murmured whispers erupt throughout the crowd. The announcer covers the microphone with his hand and looks at me expectantly.

“Would it be alright if I said a few words?” I ask.

“Yes, of course Madame,” he responds and shuffles away.

I take a step in front of the podium and place my hands along either side of the smooth cherry wood. I take a deep breath in and let a deep breath out. Kylo grabs the hand closest to him and interlocks our fingers. I look up at him and he mouths “I love you”. I mouth it back and then look at the crowd head on. I clear my throat and without realizing the mic would pick up the sound, I’m surprised to hear the murmurs cut off by my sound and hundreds of eyes all on me.

“Um, hello everyone. My name is Y/n Y/l/n. I was nominated for the Medal of Honor and Valor award, but for various reasons I will not be accepting it.” The crowd gasps and several “what” and “huh”s spread across the crowd.

“Um, I think there’s been, um, an elephant in the room this evening, and I would like to address it. Tonight many of you have learned of me only a few hours ago and you learned of me in an unexpected way. Many of you only know me as the soon to be wife and empress of the Supreme Leader, Kylo Ren. I take a lot of pride in this aspect of my identity, but it is rather new to me still. Before I met Kylo Ren, I was just a soldier in the First Order military. I’ve been a member of the seventh unit–” A few members of my old unit holler and I nervously laugh. 

“I’ve been a member of the seventh unit for several years. I cared very much for my unit and we were a bit like a family, always looking out for each other. For some time, much of my life has been devoted to the First Order. Late night guard duties and early morning cleaning duties, training, or weeks away on mission made up much of adult life. 

But I did feel a particular devotion to the First Order that I recognized was stronger than most. As soon as I entered, I knew that one day, I would want to work my way up to a position of General of the First Order military. I went out of my way to seek mentors and projects and other opportunities that might help me advance in my career. It always felt natural to me and was something I did on my own will, but I know that’s not particularly common for all the personnel I worked with.

Up until recently, I was a commander, a title which I was quite proud of but also recognized the responsibility that came with it. I took that role quite seriously, and one day, that role led me to Kylo Ren. Up until my position as commander, I hadn’t thought much else of him beyond the terrifying man under the mask who had my entire professional fate lying in the palm of his hands. I seldom interacted with him and only regarded him as the Supreme Leader of the First Order. 

But somehow, my ambition caught his attention and…” I look over to Kylo who is already looking at me. He reads my facial features and leans closer to the mic.

“I knew my life wouldn’t be complete unless she was in it,” Kylo adds and the crowd elicits gasps and “aw”s. We shuffle so that we both split the center of the mic.

“My journey has been remarkably similar to Y/n’s. Except I think I may be only speaking for myself when I say, my ambition took me far, but it took me there alone. When I became Supreme Leader, the highest high of my life, I realized I had no one to share it with. For many years, I thought I could suffice without, but the need to share my life with someone grew stronger to the point where I could not ignore it. And even if I could, I reached a certain point in my career where the obligation to find someone to take the place of my empress fell greatly on my shoulders. 

For a length of time, my search was quite unfruitful. And for a while, I was beginning to lose hope. But one day, miraculously, Y/n entered the picture. I hadn’t even met her properly, but I knew. I knew then just as I know now that she would be the one for me.” He smiles down at me. I blush and continue my side of the story.

“But when we did actually meet, I had no idea what would be in store. I thought I was just a commander consulting the Supreme Leader on the course of action for a rebel invaded planet that if approached with caution could easily be cooperated in First Order territory. But then he approached me, as Kylo Ren. And a part of me, the part of me that exists when I am not in uniform, was intrigued. As we got to know each other personally and were brought together by the work we were doing for the First Order, we became close, a little too close for my liking... I tried to fight it, but love isn’t meant to be resisted.” I turn my head to the side to look up at Kylo.

“There were many moments when I felt we were ready to take things to the next level, but then Y/n would have hesitations. We were able to overcome them as they arose, but when it all culminated in my desire to marry her, we reached a severe stalemate.” Kylo looks down at me.

“I was prepared to marry Kylo Ren, without hesitation, but the Supreme Leader? That was another story. I spent a lot of my time with Kylo and for the first time in my life, fell deeply and truly in love. I had worked with the Supreme Leader and even though we worked well together, I feared how our union would appear to others. For one, I tend to keep my personal life quite private, so telling others something as significant as this was sure to cause uproar. And two, knowing my ambition, it made a little too much sense for me to end up with someone in a position of such prestige that I felt a sense of guilt and a great deal of pressure in deciding to marry someone so powerful. 

I want to make it abundantly clear that it was never his power that attracted me to the Supreme Leader, Kylo Ren or even made me want to marry him in the first place. It was his compassion, bravery, intelligence, and strength that drew me to him and made me fall for him… that continues to make me fall for him.” I look up at Kylo and he nods at me reassuringly, as if to say, “You’ve got this”.

“I did not take the decision to marry him lightly. In fact, it might have been the most difficult decision I have ever made in my entire life. But, I would make the same decision all over again if given the chance. And with that said, I feel it is my duty to let everyone in this room know that I take my role as the soon to be empress of the Supreme Leader extremely seriously. And as such, I will do everything in my power to serve the First Order to the best of my ability. I’ve done so during my time in the First Order military and am fully prepared to continue doing so, regardless of title.”

I take a moment to catch my breath and recover from all that I’ve just said. And right when I think about what I should say next, someone in the crowd claps. It’s Neela. Someone else starts clapping and then they rise from their seats. It’s Locke. Camryn pops up next to him and joins in the applause. And in the blink of an eye, multiple people follow suit till the whole room has risen from their seats and clap their hands… for me? I look to my left to see even the Generals join in the applause.

I blush and look up at Kylo. I’m simultaneously confused and excited.

“It’s all for you my dear empress,” Kylo coos and rubs his hand along my lower back. He hooks his fingers along the crook of my waist and pulls me closer so that my side is pressed against his. 

I can’t believe all these people are clapping for me. I knew if we explained things, then people would understand, but this? I wasn’t prepared for this. I was prepared for everything to crash and burn. I was prepared to have to fight for my life.

I can feel Kylo’s body squirm from beside me and I look at him. He’s looking in the direction of the generals so I turn my head and see Hux moving toward us with the Medal of Honor and Valor in his hands. Hux outstretches the medal, offering it to Kylo but he shakes his head and says, “Hold onto it”. As the applause dies down, Kylo begins to speak into the mic again.

“Ladies and gentlemen, thank you again for your unwavering support and attendance at tonight's ball. We still have one last award to hand out. Despite her resistance, the recipient of this award has done more for the First Order than has been asked of her. Because of her, the First Order has been successful in removing the rebel base off of Planet Korr. And as of today, First Order bases have been installed on Planets Korr, Myr and over ⅔ of the remaining solar system, all of which would not have been possible without her. She has paved the way for the First Order and while her time as a formal member of the First Order military has come to a close, she will continue to serve as the best and brightest empress the First Order has ever seen. Y/n Y/l/n, will you please accept the award of the Medal of Honor and Valor?”

I look at Kylo and lock eyes for a moment, then turn to look at Hux. Hux holds the medal up and keeps it there till I lock eyes and nod my head. He graciously places the medal over my head and drapes it along my collarbones. I shake his hand and proceed to shake the hands of the rest of the generals. When I come back to the podium I look to Kylo, wondering if I’ll shake his hand too. He outstretches his hand and I shake it as a formality, what every other recipient of the night has done, but then he does something he didn’t do for any other recipient and cups my face with his hands and kisses me deeply.

I pull away, my breath taken away, but when I look at the crowd, many people cheer and whistle. I was not prepared for this either, but I can’t say I mind it.

“Thank you again for attending this year’s Emporer’s Ball. We look forward to seeing you this time next year. Have a good night and please return home safely.” Kylo announces into the microphone. I must be paralyzed because I'm not moving but everyone around me is. People start leaving their tables and moving towards the entrances. Waitstaff begin clearing up the tables. The generals scramble to find their guests and leave.

“C’mon let’s go,” Kylo says and grabs my hand. He starts walking and it takes a second for my legs to catch up.

“Where are we going?” He leads me out of the ballroom and through a hidden corridor.

“We’re going home, my little star.” His brisk walking turns into jogging.

“Kylo, what are you doing,” I ask breathlessly.

“I’m taking you to my quarters. Now. I need to get you out of that dress and take you with nothing but that medal on,” he declares.

“Kylo,” I squeal and giggle breathlessly.

“I’m dead serious kid, I need you. Now.” 

When we get to the door to his quarters, he picks me up bridal style and kicks the door open. The space is dark as we enter, but Kylo knows where he’s going. We enter a room and he lays me down on a large bed with the softest sheets in the entire galaxy. I look to my right and see a giant window in place of a wall. Across from the bed is a dark colored dresser. This feels a little familiar.

In front of me, Kylo stands before the bed removing various articles of his clothing. Then he removes my heels off each of my feet. Okay, things are starting to feel different. He snakes his hands along the skin of my legs, pushing the fabric of my dress upward. He moves his head downward to rest beneath the yards of fabric gathered at my hips.

“Hm, so beautiful,” he hums.

I extend my arm and fun my fingers through his hair. He kisses my skin then peers up into my eyes.

“Anything my empress wants, my empress gets, okay?”

“Oh yeah, it’s like that?”

“You know I got it like that.” He winks.”I love you Y/n”

“I love you too Kylo.”

I fawn for a bit, and feel giddy at what the emperor has in store for me.

———————————————

@ickleronniekinsemotionalrange​@asherrenwrites@g-l-pierce@livi-s@gruffle1@mssbridgerton@dark-night-sky-99@adaodinson@thefireoflust @pineapplechuncks @sarah5462​@annoyinglythoughtfuldestiny @would-not-recommend @karina-v20@andromeda-blackc@hueanhdang @thatgoodolswitcharoo  @uncle-eggy

[ultralaser]

anyways so also i'm still thinking about that mary sue jackass on twitter whining about rey still bc the complaint is always 'rey beats kylo ren easily out of nowhere' and that is just fundamentally not what happens in that movie

-- one of the first things we see rey do is absolutely demolish a bunch of guys on jakku, so we know she can fight

-- one of the first things she does in the saber fight with kylo ren is echo her staff fighting motions and try to lunge at him, but she doesn't have the same range w the saber

-- so she holds her own defensively but is literally on the run and ends up pinned between ren and a sudden cliff edge as a crevasse opens up

-- she doesn't actually turn the battle against ren until she

wait for it

USES THE FORCE

(which is exactly what LUKE did!)

also that whole fight kylo ren is literally dying after being gut-shot, bc chewie blasted him with his fkn bowcaster, which is ALSO set-up earlier as being strong enough to send dudes FLYING after a hit

so kylo ren took a GRENADE to the stomach and STILL nearly won that fight!

just absolutely no reading comprehension at all, it's almost like they haven't seen the film more than once and remember it wrong, or are deliberately or unconsciously lying about to serve a reactionary agenda, and it doesn't matter how rey won but rather THAT she won, at all

the only actual mary sue in that movie is kylo ren

the only other mary sue in that movie is poe dameron

[headphones-ct-09978]

Forever More, I promise. 🌹

Summary: Basically a tragic one shot idea I got. Kylo Ren loses his apprentice/lover after a battle.

Genre: Song fic ("Evermore" from Beauty and the Beast)

Characters: Kylo Ren, Zaria (OC), Phasma, and Rey.

TW: Mentions of grief. Heart break and Ben dying.

Tags: @tigerkay93 @lifeofroos

A/N: This was totally spur of the moment and rushed cuz my computer is about to die.

. "Missing?! How can she be missing?! She was right beside me!!"

Phasma didn't want to bring him the news, his apprentice meant something to her as well. "Sir she's...gone."

Kylo Ren leaned against one of the still smoking trees within one of the blast sights. "What do you mean by "Gone", Phasma?" Even with his mask on, Phasma could hear the pain in his voice.

"Sir, she wasn't found. There was no sign of a body and no one saw what happened to her." she then retrieved the scarf she found snagged on a tree branch near the battle field. "This was all we found."

Carefully, almost reverently, he took it from her. The violet silk was stained crimson with blood and was torn. The fridged wind made the fabric dance in his grip, until a sudden gust tore it from his grip. Kylo was weary from the fight and he couldn't muster up the strength to grab it. Instead, defeated, he watched as the scarf was taken and disappeared over the cliff.

"Leave me." he said. "Leave."

"Yes, sir."

For the first and last time, Phasma left with a heaviness in her heart.

Once alone with nothing but the bitter wind and biting snow for company, he walked deep into the woods until he came across a clearing. Sensing he was truly alone, he collapsed to his knees.

With shaky hands, he removed his mask, tears streaming down his face as grief overwhelmed him.

I was the one who had it all I was the master of my fate I never needed anybody in my life I learned the truth too late

He recalled Zaria's last words to him before the fight. "I love you, Forever, I promise. Nothing will ever take me from you." she had said as he gave him one last kiss.

I'll never shake away the pain I close my eyes but she's still there I let her steal into my melancholy heart It's more than I can bear

He pulled out the little keepsake she had given him sometime ago, before they were master and apprentice. He held the little charm in his large hands, feeling as if he was holding a part of her.

He closed his fist around it and stood.

Now I know she'll never leave me Even as she runs away She will still torment me Calm me, hurt me Move me, come what may

He put on the charm and retrieved his mask before making his way back towards his ship.

Wasting in my lonely tower Waiting by an open door I'll fool myself, she'll walk right in And be with me for evermore

Memories flooded his mind, images of her smile, her touch, her fearlessness...

A sudden wave of rage overcame him. He put his mask back on and unsheathed his saber. The crackling blade filled his senses as he cried out and began to cut down everything in his path.

I rage against the trials of love I curse the fading of the light Though she's already flown so far beyond my reach She's never out of sight

Out of breath, he fell to his knees again. His breath shaky and heavy, weary and grief stricken. But some part of him dared to hope, dared to continue.

Now I know she'll never leave me Even as she fades from view She will still inspire me Be a part of everything I do Wasting in my lonely tower Waiting by an open door I'll fool myself, she'll walk right in And as the long, long nights begin I'll think of all that might have been Waiting here for evermore

As the tears dried and his heart gave way to the darkness once more, he prayed, to what ever was within the dark and light recesses of the Force, "Please...please, let me see her...one last time."

As he boarded his ship, beaten, he didn't know, but his plea was heard.

Post scene:

"Ben! Ben, stay with me!"

Rey was starting to panic as she saw the light fade from Ben's brown eyes. But with the last strength he had left, he gave her a kiss, smiling when he realized he finally did something to be proud of.

He didn't hear Rey, however, as he called his name, holding him.

Before he faded, he saw her, standing behind Rey, smiling at him, her hand reached out to him. "Come, come to me," she said to him.

'Zaria...' was his final, peaceful thought before he became one with the force.

-End-

[peterparkersnose]

Escape

ben solo x reader

kylo ren x reader

word count: 1.2k

warnings: none, kylo ren becomes ben solo once again, established relationship, leg wound

a/n please give your authors notes, we work so hard on our stuff. if you didn’t enjoy it, feel free to ignore it but if you did, please leave your writers even a like. it means the world. re blogs are appreciated but not necessary. thank you loves. 

summary Kylo Ren has to make the tough decision for his future with his wife

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read time: 4 mins 27 seconds

You were reading silently in your corner in the living room. The dark essence of the apartment always gave you an eerie feeling, so you would read horror to match the mood. It was a high tensity part of the book, you were on the edge of your seat when the door came flying open. You yelped, throwing the book in fright when you realized Kylo had just returned home for the day. 

He grunted, throwing his helmet on the floor. He kicked his boots against the wall and threw his cape on the floor like a toddler. 

“What’s wrong with you?” you asked in an annoyed tone, eyebrow raised. He said nothing and returned to his study, slamming the door behind him. Noise erupted from the room, crashes and loud bangs filled the apartment. Finally, the tantrum seemed to have ended. You huffed and rose off your chair, picking up his helmet and cape and following him. Of course, the door was locked. 

“I have your stuff,” you said calmly. No response. You knocked slightly, hoping that he would respond to the kind approach. “Please let me in,” 

You heard the door click, signaling that he unlocked it. You opened it slightly, revealing a mess. Books had been knocked off the shelf, papers were scattered all over the room. You found Kylo sitting in front of the victim bookcase, with a large gash down the middle. It gave a crackling sound that made you sigh. 

His belongings were placed on the ground as you went to comfort your husband. You placed a hand on his back, and reached for his lightsaber that he was hyperfocusing on. He let you take it, and you set it on his desk. Now sitting on your knees, you wrapped your arm around him. He sat breathing heavy. 

You were unsure if he wanted to speak or not. You wanted to know why he was so upset. It was rare he would come home like this. You were running through on what you should do in your head when he finally spoke. 

“You should not worry about me,” 

“I always worry about you,” “Well stop.” “I can’t just stop, Kylo.” 

He rested his head on your shoulder and took a deep breathe. “We were planning a counter attack on the resistance today when one of my lieutenants gave me coordinates to the lead resistance base,” 

You shook your head in understandment. “Isn’t that a good thing?” you asked, squeezing his shoulder. 

“I already had those coordinates.” he sighed. You sat for a moment. “Your mad because your lieutenant gave you information you already knew? I can see that as a inconvenience but Kylo, honey, it should not ruin your whole day. We really need to work on your-”

“It is the base where my mother lives,” 

Oh. 

He never spoke about his mother. You only knew he had one because Hux had brought it up briefly once. He had bruises on his neck for weeks. 

“I feel myself becoming weak,” Kylo whispered, almost relieved he said it out loud. “I don’t think your weak.” “The supreme leader feels it too.”

You shuttered at the mention of the supreme leader. 

“Your not weak. You are the strongest man I know. I trust you will make the decision that you feel is right.” you said, intertwining your fingers with his. Your hand was so small in comparison to his. 

“I know what I have to do but I don’t know if I’m strong enough to do it.” Kylo said, his breaths shuttering. 

“I will be there every step of the way. I promise.”

-

Three nights had passed. You hadn’t heard much from your husband besides a couple passing “Good mornings,”

He had absolutely consumed himself in his work almost to the point where it was concerning. He wouldn’t sleep. He wouldn’t eat. You knew he was suffering. 

On the third day you were peacefully folding some of your clothes on the bed. Kylo was at work and you didn’t expect much noise in the apartment except for a possible mail droid. 

When you heard a loud crash from the kitchen, you were worried. You grabbed your small blaster from your bedside table and krept down the stairs. 

The worrying sight of your husband rummaging through your emergency supplies was brought to your eyes. He felt your presence and turned to face you. When your eyes met, something was different. 

Maybe the fact that he was covered in sweat and blood should have been off putting, but it wasn’t his appearance that was much different. 

It was his soul. 

Something you had only heard tiny rumors about before you knew him, before you joined the First Order. 

Ben. 

You quickly understood and rushed down the stairs. “Take what you need, were not coming back.” he said out of breath. With the chaotic life of being the wife of Kylo Ren, you pretty much had all your valuables packed up and ready to go. 

It started to get concerning when alarms starting blaring off around the ship. You slipped your to go bag over your shoulder along with a backpack. 

“Is this really happening?” you asked him. 

He turned and looked deeply into your soul. He took your hands and sighed. “We must go now.” 

You followed Kylo quietly down each secret corner. He knew this ship like the back of his hand. Avoiding troopers, making sure no conflict would happen. He knew he had to keep you safe. 

The workers bunks were the safest to escape from. They had escape pods for emergencies that would most likely go undetected from the Commander’s pit. Kylo practically threw you into it, then followed with your stuff. Just as he was about to get in, what seemed like a platoon of Storm Troopers starting blasting their blasters. “Get down!” he yelled to you, struggling to close the hatch. 

Kylo was quick to seal the hatch shut, but not before a shot bounced off his leg. The sound of the sizzling from his leg made you nauseous. You started searching the ship for the bacta spray when Kylo interrupted you. “No use. They don’t supply the working ships with them. I’ll be fine.” 

“But I’m-”

“I know. Your always worried about me. But everything will be okay now.”

The silence between the two of you was almost painful. Kylo had asked you to try to dispatch a resistance base, but you were struggling to find one. 

He had pulled comms and tracking out of the ship and released them into space. You two were officially off the map. 

The radio scratching was hurting your head. You kept calling for a resistance fighter to call in, but nothing happened. The ship was going so fast, you felt like you were going a million miles per hour. 

“...resistance copy to…”

“I think we got one,” you said, adjusting the knobs on the reader. “Copy to resistance!” you yelled through the speaker. “Copy. May we ask who this is?” the pilot asked. 

“Who are we?” you asked, turning to your husband. 

His gaze was glossy and out of touch. “Ben Solo.” he said, not moving a muscle. 

“A-are you sure won’t they-”

“They’ll know. She’ll know.” he assured you. 

“Ben Solo, repeat, we are Ben Solo.” 

-

tag list

@dani5216 @uwiuwi @alohastyles-x @samanthacookieone @maddieinnit0 @alexxavicry

[alectoplasme]

And that’s two

I’m overjoy to annonce that I just published my second One Shot to Ao3

Very different than the 1st one. Here thare is not even a kiss but I was i need , vital need even, of fluffiness . So here ya go 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/47509093

[weareallstoriesintheend]

Etsy Shop is RE-OPENING!

Hi All!

I'm re-opening my Etsy shop! 🥰

For those of you that are new I own an Etsy shop where I take personalized commissions for Adam Driver and Marvel character one shots.

I'm happy to work with you on whichever character, storyline or personalized element you would like. You can also request personalised versions of fics I have already published here or on AO3.

There are 1k & 2k options for both new NSFW and SFW fics.

Please get in touch if you would like to discuss ideas. 😍

[friendlyneighborhooddolan]

Little Wing

warnings: This story has some descriptive stuff. Age gap (7 years). Sexual and graphic things, alcohol and drug use.

Warnings for this part: violent outbursts, drinking

pairing: Kylo Ren x reader

summary: Parties, grandpa Kylo and a bit more about Y/N's father's death.

word count: 1.7 K

Masterlist

The new masterlist link – it's a masterlist just for this fic. It includes a bit of a summary for the next part and it also has links for spotify playlists – one for Kylo, one for Angel, one for the whole fic.

Any feedback is greatly appreciated!

Chapter six

Y/N was living in her childhood home and while some people found it funny, she loved it. It held so many memories – sorrow and happiness and love. Nostalgia, all in all.

When her mother started dating again, Y/N thought of an idea: What if, when her mother moves out, her college friends move in? You know, a few besties living their (almost) sorority life. When her mother finally moved out to live with her first boyfriend in the long, long line, Y/N asked her nicely, and her mother relented. The house was big, and it would be too much for Y/N to live there alone. One of her reasons was something along the lines of making new memories that are not tainted with sadness of her dad’s life.

So, as August moved in her neighborhood, so did her friends. They had an arrangement – they are living in the house, but they help pay for utilities. And buy their own groceries. As much as Y/N helped, she wasn’t a charity. 

Kylo watched them waiting for Y/N to open the front door, watched her greet them with the biggest smile and hug each and every one of them. It was a whole ordeal, the five of them standing in scorching midday heat, laughing and squealing – you know, the whole I-haven’t-seen-you-in-months-how’s-life-been-greeting.

In truth, it wasn’t much different. Y/N’s friends came inside, all scattering to put their suitcases away and then coming back down. By six in the afternoon, the house was lively and loud – shaking from the bass coming from loud speakers and laughter of girls who just wanted to have a few days of fun before classes started again. Even then, they could slack, as it was their last year. They only had a few classes.

“Bitch, what’s up with the hot neighbor?” One of her friends was helping her with making dinner.

“Jade,” Y/N warned her softly, “You mean Kylo Ren?” 

She was cutting onions, her eyes tearing up. She didn’t know if it was the vegetable or the mention of the man.

“Yes, I mean Kylo motherfucking Ren, babe,” the girl answers, a knife in her right hand chopping up a pepper a bit harsher than usual, the knife hitting the wooden cutting board loudly. The other girl wiped her eyes quickly, smiling at the way her friend was all defensive, and yet she didn't know the situation. 

“Dunno,” she answers, half-truthfully, “He did some shit in the past, stuff I can’t easily forgive.”

“I’ve heard of Kylo, y’know. Heard he’s Han Solo’s son,” the friend prolonged the conversation. She put the peppers in a bowl, continuing to help Y/N get the chicken out of the fridge, cutting it into small cubes too.

“Han Solo? You mean – “ Y/N stopped herself before continuing on, feigning concentration on washing the vegetables. Han Solo and her father were great friends, she remembers him visiting and playing with her ever since she was a little kid, but her friends shouldn’t know that. 

“I mean what?” 

Y/N hummed, “It must’ve slipped my mind. I forgot what I was going to say.”

Jade knew better than to question her, partly because she knew Kylo was a sensitive subject ever since Y/N was eighteen, or since she developed a crush on the man.

By seven thirty, the girls had all finished with dinner and by ten, they were all a bit drunk and really loud. You know how these college kids get, right?

Kylo was really trying to work, but with his neighbors screaming and laughing and yelling every three or so minutes, he wasn’t succeeding. He tried to ignore them, earbuds playing songs on the highest volume his phone would allow, but to no avail.

It was their first night back together, he thought to himself, it’ll be better tomorrow. 

It wasn’t. 

–

Tomorrow, at midnight, Kylo Ren climbed four steps that lead to Y/N’s house, banging on the front door. He heard squeals, and then someone calling Y/N’s name, some indistinct yelling, and finally, the door being unlocked. Loud music came rushing down the street as the door opened.

“Yes, neighbor?” A girl answered the door. It wasn’t Y/N. Don’t get him wrong, this girl was beautiful too, but couldn’t compare to Angel. She was dressed casually, her long black hair away from her face in a low ponytail. Her shorts revealed miles of tan skin, but Kylo couldn’t care less.

“Where the fuck is Y/N?” He didn’t have time for pleasantries.

The girl yelled out Angel’s name, and turned back around towards Kylo. “My name is Olivia.”

“Hello Olivia. Kylo.” He nodded, not really looking at the girl, rather behind her shoulders, hoping to see who he came to see.

“Kylo?” A well-known voice.

“Angel, can you please keep it a bit more quiet? Some of us have jobs,” he answered swiftly, his arms crossed in front of him.

When she pushed Olivia away, Kylo saw that the girl was really drunk. Her pointer was raised up towards him, her brows furrowed and her eyes filled with anger? Resentment? Annoyance? Kylo couldn’t really tell. She was noticeably smaller than the man, but that didn’t mean she didn’t scare him a bit. Kylo knew her better than not to be.

“My God, every time I think I got rid of you you come knocking at my door and fucking everything up! Fuck off, Ben!” And with that, the door slammed in his face. Kylo stood there, petrified. Ben?

“What the fuck has just happened?” Kylo muttered out, cleared his throat and turned around.

When Kylo is angry, he’ll do anything to prove he’s in control. He’ll take a bottle of whiskey from his cupboard and drink it all alone in his room. When he was little, he’d hit his head on the wall until he got what he wanted, it being either forgiveness, his mother’s kiss or a toy he really really wished for.

It was a way of saying “This is my fault, my own two hands did it. It shouldn’t matter, but I need to forgive myself, too.”

When Kylo is angry, he’ll try to hold it in by hurting himself. It’s rare he takes his anger out on anything, anyone, but himself. Today is one of those rare moments. When Kylo is this angry in these rare moments, he’ll destroy everything around him, smashing mirrors with his bare fists, screaming, sweeping everything off the counters, yelling profanities at God, hating himself, destroying his favorite lamp. 

When he finally calms, he’ll start questioning his sanity, he’ll look towards the sky as if to tell the universe: ʟᴏᴏᴋ, ʏᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴏɴᴇ ᴡʜᴏ ᴄᴀɴ ᴅᴇsᴛʀᴏʏ ᴍᴇ, ʟᴏᴏᴋ, ɪ ᴄᴀɴ ᴅᴏ ɪᴛ ᴍʏsᴇʟғ!

When Kylo finally calmed, his kitchen was in shambles. He reached for the whiskey hidden in his cupboard, pouring himself a glass. It was a weird contrast – Kylo standing so calmly in the middle of the mess, his left hand bleeding because –  he broke something?  He’s not sure himself. He’s broken the whole kitchen down, to be honest. 

He slowly walked out, glass crunching under his shoes. He’ll clean it up after he drinks the alcohol swirling in his hand. 

“I’m not Ben. Not anymore,” he whispered out. He’s not Ben, he’ll never be again. Never, ever, again. How did Y/N know of his childhood? It’s dead to him, Ben died with his mother. He downed the glass.

“I’m not Ben,” he repeated a bit louder. Was he convincing Y/N or himself? “I’m not Ben – I’mnotBenI’mnotBenI’mnotBen–” Yelling at this point, throwing the empty glass into the wall. His hands found home in his hair, and he was still repeating it as a mantra, and tears rimmed his eyes. He’s not Ben. Did he convince anyone but himself, really? 

Tomorrow, Kylo will explain himself to Y/N. He’ll try to explain what happened with her father, so that she can’t make up a version of the truth. 

–

“Darling?” Y/N heard after the fourth ring.

“Hey mom. Do you know anything about dad’s death?” Y/N made circles around her room, biting her nails while her other hand held her phone to her ear.

“How much do you know, honey?” her mother sighed out, expecting Y/N to find out sooner or later.

“I know that it wasn’t a car crash, mom.”

“Well, your father – You know Han, right?”

The younger girl hummed in approval.

“He had a son, Ben. Your father has been in those… Waters for a while, so he decided to teach Ben everything he knew about that life. Well, when Ben’s mother passed away he became – he became a nightmare. He’d put himself into dangerous situations – just to feel something, I guess. Your father swore he’d protect him, so that’s what he did. It was his choice.”

“Mom, do you know where Ben is right now?”

“No, I don’t even know how the kid looks,” she answered truthfully, “I never saw him. I always imagined he looked like Han, but I don’t know.”

“I– Thank you mom. For telling me the truth.”

“Always, honey.”

–

Kylo Ren decided he was a pussy and he won’t be able to tell Y/N the truth in her face, so he decided to – Write. So he did. The music from his neighboring house was kind of getting on his nerves, but he had to endure it. He’d endure much more if it meant Y/N would listen to what he has to say. He really thought it’d be okay.

Maybe, but just mabe, it would. Maybe Angel would finally listen to him. Maybe she’d realize that Kylo can’t change the past, but he could change the future.

Maybe she’d forgive him.

[lostgirlfandom]

Star Wars Masterlist

Original

Luke

Han

Leia

Lando

Boba Fett

Prequels

Anakin

Obi-Wan

Padme

Sequels

Kylo/Ben

Finn

Poe

Rey

The Mandalorian