bisexualjake-peralta

[bisexualjake-peralta]

some highlights from my students’ romeo and juliet modern interpretation projects:

- someone made a username for friar laurence with 420 at the end - the same kid who put 69 in romeo’s username like i wouldn’t know what either of those things mean - the girl who added ‘clean’ at the end of all the songs on her juliet playlist like lmao girl i know spotify doesn’t have the clean version - the kid who said romeo and juliet killed each other - the weird dichotomy of kids who put love story on their playlist vs the kids who choose bad blood - the kid who wrote ‘get a room’ as tybalt’s comment on romeo’s couple pic - the kid who said ‘romeo is probably one of those douches who follows a ton of people so they follow him back and then he unfollows all of them’ - the one who legitimately used the word ‘alrighty’ do kids say this in their text messages???? i thought i was the one talking like an elderly person but okay - the one who made romeo’s username ‘montagoose’ - the only kid who acknowledged that posting about your secret relationship on instagram was a bad idea - the girl who wrote that romeo would unironically say ‘#blessed’. she’s right. - the one single solitary girl who wrote mercutio as gay as shakespeare did (she’s also the only one who used mercutio at all which is a tragedy but whatever) - the one who wrote romeo’s insta bio as ‘thus with a kiss i die… LOL RIP ME 😂💀’ - the one who made benvolio’s username benvoliYO

[bisexualjake-peralta]

NHL stars attempt to give Valentine’s Day advice..

[bisexualjake-peralta]

Y’all, this Moore spokesman’s stunned silence when Jake Tapper tells him you don’t have to swear on a Bible to join Congress is a-mee-zing. 

[bisexualjake-peralta]

list of new hockey rules i'd put in place if i ran the nhl

•everyone who goes to the penalty box has to wear a dunce cap for the duration of the penalty

•if the goalie gets the puck in his glove, he should be allowed to try to carry it down to the other end of the rink and throw it into the other goal

•if you pull the goalie your 6th man has to be the mascot

•if 2 players hold hands while one commits a penalty, the other is allowed to go to the box (and wear the dunce cap) for him

•instead of shootouts, there’s a sudden death figure skating competition between the two teams’ captains. if the captain is injured or sick, then this task may be delegated to one of his As

•consistent goalie interference rules lol

•if wayne gretzky attends a game, he is allowed to dress in a plain black jersey and come on the ice. he’s not playing for either team, he’s just there to shake things up

•intermissions will be filled by a pet show of the players’ dogs

[bisexualjake-peralta]

im so ready to be in a relationship so whenever the universe is ready hmu with a keeper

[bisexualjake-peralta]

female awesome meme • 1/5 bossy queens » blair waldorf  Once again the world has proven, anything you can do… I can do better.

[bisexualjake-peralta]

This is beautiful but that poor harp :(

Florence and the Machine at last night’s Spotify event in Brooklyn. As Florence began to sing Sky Full of Song a literal storm began to hit, she never faltered and embraced the storm.

[bisexualjake-peralta]

underrated aesthetic: slytherins also loving plants. loving things that are green and growing where they’re not supposed to. don’t call something a “weed” in front of a slytherin unless you want a lecture

loving plants being a lynchpin of the slytherin/hufflepuff bond, though hufflepuffs often are forced to hide all the plant growth potions because slytherins typically aren’t as patient

slytherins claiming “it’s green, it belongs to us!”

“you can’t!!! do that!!!”

cut to a hufflepuff giving their slytherin friend a bouquet of stems because “you just said the green parts were what you liked, right?”

Ivy and moss growing in the Slytherin common room, growing, climbing plants. Flowers and herbs growing in the Hufflepuff common room. Sneaking each other clippings. 

[bisexualjake-peralta]

Slide on into Kepler, they said.

[bisexualjake-peralta]

the “did he freeze?“ dialogue in Black Panther was changed in the hungarian version to “Did he freeze?“ “Like Captain America.“ and i think this is probably the best change of dialogue in the history of dubbing movies

[bisexualjake-peralta]

DRYP - an app that keeps your plants alive and happy

Hi Tumblr!

I know I’ve been gone for a while.

In part it’s because I’ve been working on an app!

I keep a lot of plants. I think everyone should!

- They clean your air - They give you something to name - They give you something to take care of - They teach you about care, needs, and resources - They make you look like you’re good at decorating

Here are some of mine:

But some people, because they’re overwhelmed or simply can’t figure out how to start, think that plants are out of their reach.

DRYP is for newcomers and experts.

It reminds you when to water

And it helps you fix what’s broken

If you think the world would be better with this app in it, please consider contributing to the Kickstarter!

I’ve tried to make it worth your while:

Again here’s the link to contribute:

DRYP - an app that keeps your plants alive and happy

And if you like me / if you like my idea, please signal boost!

@drypforplants on Twitter and instagram

[bisexualjake-peralta]

the players handbook: tieflings have mostly human skin colors, but sometimes they can be red!

everyone else:

[bisexualjake-peralta]

Finally done with these~   took about 3 days? got a cold so took bit longer than it should’ve hhh I am okay with how they turned out tho!  ( disclaimer: im a terrible vorthos so these are very basic)

[bisexualjake-peralta]

me: compulsively switches between the same 4 apps for 12 hours straight because i’m absolutely incapable of being left alone w my thoughts

[bisexualjake-peralta]

Ocean’s 8

[bisexualjake-peralta]

[bisexualjake-peralta]

 the only criticism of millennials l accept