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HI EVERY1 JUST WANTED TO SAY... I M SO INCREDIBLY SORRY FOR LEAVING REQUESTS SO LATE... i have been so busy with school & other things its so insane but!! things have cleared out i promise i will pick back up and start writing again soon!! I AM SO SO SORRY ABOUT THIS... THANK U SO MUCH PPL WHO HAVE REQUESTED SO FAR I LOVE U AHH GKGLFK

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SFW Alphabet

So I know that the nsfw alphabet is a thing, but like, I’m a fetus so I thought maybe I should make a sfw alphabet???

If anyone doesn’t know how this works, each letter of the alphabet corresponds to something. So when you request an idol, the writer has to do a headcanon for each letter of the alphabet for that idol.

This is something I wanted to do, and anyone is free to use this alphabet! 

A - AU (Random AU here, so like domestic, prince, vampire, etc.)

B - Best Friend (what would they be like as a best friend? how would the friendship start?)

C - Cuddles (cuddler? not a cuddler? maybe a cuddler? how would they cuddle?)

D - Domestic (how domestic are they? would they clean? cook? help you clean/cook? or would they just mess everything up lol

E - Ending (if they had to break up with someone, how would they do it?)

F - Films (what kind of movies would they like? theaters or netflix?)

G - Group Mates (how would they break the news to the group? how would their group mates interact with you?)

H - Hugs (how would they hug you? is it common for them to hug you?)

I - Intimate (how touchy feely are they? when would they become comfortable to be touchy feely?)

J - Jealous (would they ever get jealous? how would they act if they were jealous?)

K - Kisses (how would they kiss you? where do they like to kiss you? where do they like to be kissed?)

L - Little Ones (how are they around kids? are they scared out of their minds or are they the kids’ bff by the end of the day?)

M - Morning (how are mornings spent with them?)

N - Night (how are nights spent with them?)

O - Open (when would they start revealing things about themselves? do they say everything at once or what a while to reveal?)

P - Photographs (are they into documenting your relationship? what kind of pics would they take? candids? posed? funny?)

Q - Quizzes (how much would they remember about you? do they remember every little detail that you mention in passing? or do they kinda forget everything?)

R - Rain (what do they like to do when it rains?)

S - Sleep (what are their sleep habits?)

T - Try (how much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, everyday tasks?)

U - Ugly (what would be some ugly habits of theirs that you’d not like?)

V - Victorious (would they play games with you? what kind of games? would they win?)

W - Winter (what do they do with you when the weather’s cold? is it hot cocoa and cuddle? or is it ice skating? or something else?)

X - Xtra,,,,,i tried (a random headcanon for them!)

Y - Yuck (what would be things they wouldn’t really like? either in general or in a partner)

Z - Zodiac (what is their zodiac sign? do they fit it to a T? speaking of zodiac, how superstitious are they when it comes to love?)

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@ the anon who sent me a request , if you’re reading this, i’m sorry for taking so long!! things have been busy but i promise i am working on it thank you for your patience sorry for making you wait ahhhh ;;;;;;

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????? Your writing is amazing!! It doesn't sound forced at all, your work are art pieces honestly!!! Thanks for taking the time to write them :-)

gGKHKGK AHHHH ANON U HAVE MADE MY MORNING AHHHH////// THANK U SO SO MUCH IM GLAD U LIKE MY WRITING//////// i m glad to write fics for mellos anytime ahHH... :""""))))))))))) 💖💖

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car crash

"a ghost named self hatred haunts both of you tonight, and the night is the longest it has ever been."

-changsub x reader -1.9k words -angst/sad -writer’s note at the bottom

the rain has many victims.

often you are the victim. the downpour drops daggers from the sky and you bleed melancholy. despite this, you still try to reconcile with the clouds. you stand on the balcony, where the rain falls down on you.

you aren't the only one the rain touches.

a whirlwind of car wheels and concrete turns the rhythm of rainfall away from you. before your mind gathers itself, a man staggers out of his broken vehicle.

his name is lee changsub. his name is one you heard in highschool, one you fell in love with whenever you heard his laughter. but no one could laugh now. in the rain, the static between him dragging himself off the road sounded like a cry for help.

your body moves out the door without second thought. soon, you've flung yourself down the stairs of your flat to the exit. the moment you see him, his name launches out of your throat. amidst all the heavy rain, it reaches him, and he turns around to see you.

"hey!" he shouts from the other side, wobbling to turn around. "sorry about the fence!" he laughs but it doesn't convince you. even from the other side of the street you see the crookedness of his smile.

it's only after you run towards him that he finally recognizes you. for a moment, changsub is lost in the recall - he waves his eyes over you, finding the same eyes and same frame from all those years ago. "y/n?" he says in astonishment. "from class 3-a? you live out here now?"

"we'll talk inside," you answer, already with his arm around your shoulder. in the moment, you're overtaken by the urgency to make sure he's safe. you're practically lifting him off the ground, into your apartment. the flight up wasn't easy. between the crash and your flat, the two of you slowly turned breathless. it was only natural that, by the time you made it up the stairs, both of you lunged towards the couch.

changsub winces, but still makes every effort to be cheerful. you can tell it's fake, though; the more he tries, the more it irritates you. changsub was reckless before, but never enough to hurt himself like this. now wasn't the time for these thoughts, though.

"wait here," you tell him, scanning the drawers in sight for an emergency kit. all he does is watch, following your footsteps and your hands, how they leap forward at every chance to help him. as soon as you grab what you need, you turn to him. you catch him right as his cold expression thaws. his face is more familiar now, more gentle. as he smiles at you,  his teeth threaten to peak past his lips.

"woah.. you're so cool now." he laughs. "were you always like this in high school?"

"i guess not," you say. the two of you exchange giggles on your way back to him. only now, with the silence engulfing your living room, do you get to see him up close. from what you can tell, it's nothing serious, just a few scratches and bruises here and there. there's blood on his head - probably from the impact - but otherwise he's alright.

"keep still," you urge him and he nods. changsub twitches every now and then as you press the cotton swab against his forehead. the alcohol seeps into his wound and he hisses loudly, turning his head away. apologies shoot out of you in bursts of nervousness. all he can do is laugh. “it’s alright,” he reassures you.

the room is silent but the world feels otherwise. you’re face to face with a boy you loved in highschool, the one you wanted to love but never could. you’re face to face with a boy who broke your heart without your consent, a boy who never knew your agony when you found out he loved someone else. you’re face to face with a boy who never knew the depth of your feelings, and now that boy is the torn up man before you. a man barely smiling, but still trying to regardless because you’re there.

something in you sinks and you’re not sure what.

“are you okay?” you finally ask. changsub’s answer stays caught in his throat.

“i’m alright, it was just an accident,”

“no, i mean -"

“the car’s a bit of a wreck, right? i should probably call someone.”

“that’s not what i meant - ”

“if i broke anything, i can probably cover for it-"

“listen to me, changsub.”

the smile he tried to wear has fallen off. his smile - fake or real - dissolves into the air. he is desolate. he is all the things you knew he never deserved to feel like but he won’t admit it. changsub’s head dips into his lap and he heaves out the weight in his lungs.

“what happened to you?” you finally ask, hoping the volume of your voice outmatches the rhythm of anxiety in your heartbeat. changsub is still for a moment, and he knows he can’t keep still forever.

“she cheated on me,” changsub's voice rises. “she said she loved me and i believed her. i was young, okay? i loved her back, i gave her everything. and that’s why she stayed. she never cared about me. not when i saw her with -"

you hold his hand. he exhales.

“i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to yell.”

“no, it’s fine. i’m sorry this happened to you,” is all you can say to him.

changsub stands and carries himself to the balcony. the sun has dipped beneath the surface of the sky and his body is just a silhouette. there is static in your throat and numbness in his heart; neither of you know how to deal with it, but you follow him anyways.

“i’m such an idiot," he says bitterly.

“i know,” you reply, “i guess not much has changed since high school.”

the moon is kind enough to light up his face. you see him soften, like part of the dread he’d harbored finally let go of him.

“you’re right.”

you want to hold him. you smile with him instead.

soon enough, the nostalgia is blurred out by reality. changsub’s car is still a wreck, wedged between the countryside fence across your flat. neither of you have signal on your phone, and with the downpour heavy above you it’s unlikely anyone will drive past, let alone someone who can fix his car.

“what will you do?” you ask.

“i don’t know,” he says bluntly. “it’s late, plus it looks like no one really goes out here much. i don’t want to bother you so late at night though,” changsub pivots towards the exit. “it’s not too much of a wreck. i’ll go see if i can drive back.”

“stay.”

god knows what made you say that. all you’re sure of is that you’re more surprised than he is to hear those words. your heartbeat runs rampant, especially when changsub turns towards you slightly. somehow, your brain functions enough to speak for yourself in self defense. “it’s really dark, you shouldn’t drive. you don’t even know if the car works, and you hurt yourself so you should probably rest and…”

changsub laughs to himself quietly. “thank you,” he says. the two of you lower your heads in humility.

when the awkwardness pushes itself over, the two of you catch up on the years after high school. you tell him the country home you live in is one you share with friends, whose antique shop you help run during the week. he tells you about his family’s company, and his little sister who finally started high school this year.

he tells you about her. the one who cheated on him, the reason why the two are you are even together again. at first, his voice is turbulent - tossing back and forth between his right to suppress his feelings and your right for an explanation. “she was the one i dated in senior year,” he begins, “our parents knew each other so we were together a lot. i really liked her, you know? and i thought she did, too.” changsub sighs, leaning back onto the couch. “turns out i was just a business deal. our families needed us together to make ends meet. i never knew we were set up for an arranged marriage - she did and she never cared. she was just using me in the end.”

“that’s horrible,” you say. “at least you weren’t in the wrong.”

“i guess,” he replies, “i should’ve known earlier.”

“but that’s not your fault!”

“this is, though,” changsub sighs at the window. “the car, i mean. and the fence. sorry you had to deal with this.”

you shake your head. “you don’t need to be sorry. i’m here to help you.” the words stuck to your mouth only leave your body when you turn away from him. “i want to help you.” on your way to get the extra blankets, changsub stops you in your tracks.

“you always were there, weren't you?” you can feel yourself rooted to the floorboards by his world, deafening the rain and the static and every echo your heartbeat could make. you stand a meter apart from the couch but it feels like he’s lodged himself in your abdomen.

“y/n, did you ever love me? back then?” you fucking idiot, of course i did.

no words emerge from your mouth.

“forget it. it’s a stupid question.” you hear him toss and turn behind you. “you should go to sleep, y/n. i’ve kept you awake long enough.” his back is already facing you when you turn around. “goodnight,” is the last thing you hear before the rain floods your thoughts again. you stand silently before him for centuries, mixing cocktails of complicated feelings and self doubt in the acid of your stomach. you manage to halt your thoughts, just long enough for you to grab the blankets and gently throw them over him.

“i did,” you whisper, pulling the blanket over him as lightly as you could. “i did love you.”

changsub’s still awake as you say this, still awake as you heave yourself onto your bed. a ghost named self hatred haunts both of you tonight, and the night is the longest it has ever been.

--

in your dream, you are back in class 3-a and everything is honeydew and bliss. the friends to your left and right point to changsub, giggling at how the mention of his name curls your mouth into a smile. in your dream, he notices you and says your name, which always sounded better with his voice. the two of you are red cheeked and young and happy, unapologetically.

when you wake up, it is 11am and your chest is a hollow vessel. you shoot upright, running out of your room, confessions in your throat about to spill into the living room.

gone.

the flat is empty. the world moves in slow motion as you search for him, from living room to kitchen to bathroom. nothing. all that’s left is an empty couch and a neatly folded blanket. your eyes latches onto a note left on the coffee table. reluctantly, your hands gravitate toward the page. it reads: “i loved you, too. thank you.”

the page slips between your fingers. just like he did.

outside, the sunshine casts its beams down to spite you. the warmth is so strong you don’t feel the numbness in your chest, or the tears that ricocheted from the paper.

in a state of faithlessness you pray for rain. the rain brought the two of you together, and now you want to drown.

you want him to come back.

this is my 2nd btob fic, thank you so much for reading!! and thank u ana for the prompt!! its a bit clunky but thats bc i’m not used to writing full scenarios - but i’ll get there!! thank you again <3 

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You should do a fanfic with Eunwang too :)

ahh i’ve been meaning to actually!! if you have a specific scenario for him in mind, i could try to write it for you? otherwise i have a few things in mind :)) i will try to write one soon!! <3

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glowing (m)

hi, this is my first time posting a fic!! please know that it includes smut, so by all means block this acc if it makes you feel comfortable! 

hyunsik x reader, based on some feelings i had a while ago

thanks for reading!!

most days you want your body to shrink into itself. most days you clutch your thighs so close to your chest as if, somehow, they would fall into the vortex of your heart and be small for once. most days you see your body as anything but worthy to fall beneath anyone's eyes.

but everyday, hyunsik is beautiful. and every night he softens the tips of his fingers so he can use them to remind you you're monumental.

tonight, you are stubborn in believing in your ugliness. your thighs, which feel misplaced in hyunsik's bed, expand so much its like you haven't grown, but instead the world around you keeps shrinking.

somehow, hyunsik always fits. he watches your fingers clawing quietly at your skin. his eyes cross up and down in hurt. he'd never meant to let you see yourself like this.

he knows he cannot win you with words tonight; your ears are cancelling the affirmations in his chest. instead, he speaks with the hands kept tender for you. hyunsik's hand dives beneath your own. he holds them away from your thighs and grips them tightly. as he kisses beneath your fingernails you are immobilized, left only to watch his lips curling gently on your hands.

hyunsik returns the silence to your mind, as if he'd heard the buzzing inside of it. he sits closer, now merely inches in front of you. with one hand he holds your back upright, soothing the anxiety that threatened to outburst. the other runs trails over your thighs, and you swore the words "i love you" were etched onto your skin in cursive, louder than his devastation when he saw that you hated your body.

tonight, he is not as gentle. he kisses you with such ferocity you begin to lose the taste of self hatred in your mouth. he bites on your lips just hard enough you whimper carelessly, more so as his mouth wanders beneath your jaw and over your collarbones.

amidst the cries that lay dormant in your throat, his teeth fall loose and he pulls away. hyunsik takes your hand again, placing it above his thighs, while he holds his other hand above yours. staring deeply into your eyes, he whispers, "y/n, let me do this." his finger falls beneath your shirt, slowly driving down the hem of your shorts. "let me show you that i love you. and your body. and everything you are. please."

all your words well up in your chest. every "i love you," "i'm sorry you saw me like this," and "thank you," expanding in your throat. but all that emerges between your lips is his name, which tangles into the air and into his lungs. he always loved hearing it from you the most. this is the only answer he needed.

his carefulness is taken over by aggression, by desperation, leaving faint marks with his fingers and his teeth. you are loved, and you know this from the low hums that barely make it beyond his throat. you force yourself silent to hear his voice, but soon enough you are singing with him. hyunsik's hands grow hungrier each second - before you realize you are already helping him undress you. the sound of your clothes falling to the ground is outmatched by the breath against your ear, as he drags you even closer to him. his chest is grinding against your breasts, while his hands slowly ease your underwear away from you. hyunsik travels down your skin again, far enough that your nipples are encased in the warmth of his mouth. hyunsik spares no time to tease you, biting immediately as your moans grow louder and louder.

on your own, you become an orchestra by the time his hands are between your legs. your voice rises and falls, barely in sync with the rhythm of his fingers. he rubs you gently first, before he enters you with one finger then the other. hyunsik's hand dives deep inside of you and you surrender, ready to swallow him whole.

but on your own, you are not enough. there is still guilt swimming in spite of how much he lets you float above him. you draw his arms to a halt, beckoning his eyes to yours like a magnet. "i love you," you whisper gently, slipping your fingers between the buttons of his shirt. while he's dazed in astonishment you peel his shirt away, revealing the torso that carried his heavy heart. you move forward to kiss him, mimicking the trails he'd left on your skin, while you take off the remainder of his clothing. he is monumental; glowing and hard and beautiful and you want him inside of you. the exchange of eye contact is all he needs to realize this.

he climbs up onto the bed, laying flat besides you. "i want to see you," he says, pulling you on top of him. the silence is short lived. without second thought you hover yourself over him and slowly drop. you shudder all the way down until you hit the base of his member. his eyebrows furrow - a sigh of relief that you aren't the only one drowning in ichor. slowly, hyunsik rolls his hips beneath you, relishing in the way your body buckles in response. his hands glue themselves to your hips, provoking them to be anything but still. so you begin your motions, lifting up to crash gently against his skin. the two of you meet halfway. slowly at first; hyunsik navigate inside of you. your hands close shyly above his. and then, both of you unfold. your moans grow louder, his breathing stretches out more, two voices intertwining to form the perfect symphony. neither of you can hear how loudly you fall onto one another, or how greatly the bed shakes from the magnitude you both create. you utter his name like a mantra, caught in the heat of the air around you. hyunsik abandons his silence. he tilts his head backwards, trying to hide his deep bellows with the beads of sweat rolling down his neck.

hyunsik sits upwards now. you fall forward on his chest with your arms around his neck for support. he thrusts quicker and quicker into you and your voice jumps. it stutters. hyunsik has found each spot your body begged him to, and now it's like he'll never let go. he aims perfectly, and every time he does a bell strikes in your chest and you sing.

the two of you are ready to combust. his mouth bites down on your breasts again while his thumb twirls around your clitoris. you are at crossroads between your body and your mind, between succumbing to defeat and wishing for the moment to last forever.

hyunsik makes the final call for you. throwing himself deeper and deeper into you until even he is outmatched by his force. the both of you come undone in each other's arms, shaking at the mutual release. you both come on one another. you are both sticky, messy, and sweaty, but both of you are truly shining. hyunsik moans - genuinely - as he unravels himself beneath you. you can't help but smile gently at him.

there is an eternity between you both clutching onto each other before he finally pulls you down on the bed. you curl into him, no longer worried about being small enough for him to love. he latches onto you in your masses, and all the stickiness and sweat accompanying the afterglow. in spite of everything that had just occurred, hyunsik still possesses the strength to hold you close, each finger pressed firmly on your thighs. you drink his name, while he loops yours over and under his tongue.

and you never want him to let go.