Hi! I'm a Mexican 24 yo male waking up to being DID.My name is pretty gay, but I didn't choose it because I am.I'm intelligent, sensitive and friendly, but emotionally intense, I'm highly empathetic and I'm looking for real friends.Sun in Taurus (almost Aries), Full Moon under Scorpio and Leo Ascendant.My photo is real.
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You will get along with him like a snake fighter, but the weapon in your hands will turn against you. You will strike his body, but instead of his flesh you will tear yours. Every drop of his blood will turn into a sip of your own. And if he slips away from you, penetrates you, straddles you, he will laugh at you . . . And I will cry watching your battle.
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new york city 1978
greenwich village
photograph by nick dewolf https://www.flickr.com/photos/dboo/50587667147
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Pink Narcissus (1971) // dir. James Bidgood
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Gaspard Ulliel and Louis Garrel Saint Laurent — 2014 dir. Bertrand Bonello
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Was having some kind of moment weeks ago
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my personal favorites from 2024. happy new year <3
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A Basic Guide to Heal from Mind Control
Let’s understand first that mind control has only one unmovable pillar - fear. Fear is consciously created by creating fragments which are frozen in an extremely painful state, this is done mostly through torture.
The way a program works is manipulating the perception of certain fragments to think that if the instruction is not executed, they will feel worse pain. Programs are created under torture for three main reasons.
1.- To get into a programmable dissociative state, “access the system” in order to install programs and shape the system.
2.- To associate which stimuli is going to activate it.
3.- To create self states in pain or operative alters.
The relationship of each fragment with the rest of the system is manipulated so each fragment thinks executing its program is literally saving your life and is in YOUR best interest to do so.
Programming successfully finishes when even a thought that’s against the given instructions causes sorrow, so your psyche decides that the least painful way is to offer no resistance and just execute the orders and programs. It could be abstractly said that the personal consciousness is shut down temporarily, but organically speaking the psyche is designed to be whole, thus, its natural tendency will always be towards its own integration, hence, the existence of triggers. Without this integrative mechanism, mental control doesn’t exist (the trauma would be simply forgotten). This is also the reason why resets and reprogramming are required even after the victim is considered a complete success.
Pain in simple terms is going against a being’s integrity. It’s an organisms reaction towards self-preservation so it’s a core motivation.
We as humans are capable of abstraction, which is a complex series of relationships taught through and though diverse stimuli, this is why humans can be programmed beyond classical/operative conditioning. Abstraction is a mental not necessarily need but organic approach to make sense of our environment. This is what has made our species adaptable. This is how our beliefs shape the inner abstraction of the outer world, so, it could be said that lies are the most primitive and first mind control technique.
There isn’t just physical pain. Emotional pain for humans is the manipulation of 6 core universal emotional needs (I won’t mention them). These needs when not met cause extreme distress in the system. The difference between physical pain and emotional pain is that physical pain is stored in self-states, while emotional needs are an organic process, just like hunger. i.e. we can’t say thirst is stored in a self-state.
The way every programmed system works, no matter how fragmented it is, is simple. Programs are executed by self/ego-states who fear experiencing the pain stored in other self-states organized all to trigger themselves given certain stimuli, both internal or external. Each fragment is told certain lies to relate to each other in a certain given way, including the host system.
Emotional needs are an ongoing source of pain which is used to create more trauma and attachment to the organization.
So far, we can say there are three levels of mind control, which in order of complexity while healing go as follows.
1.- Beliefs
2.- Fear and pain (through torture)
3.- Emotional needs
These three levels are intermingled with each other. A single traumatic experience involves usually or “best for programming” all of them.
Beliefs are healed researching about the project and about common human behavior, though it’s tempting to try to find the truth behind the lies only to find more lies behind the masks. Don’t fall for this trick, your power of truth lies in deciding who you want to become and what you want to do despite the given instruction. Even if you are forced to execute a task you don’t want to do, like programming another person, think it’s your decision to do it because you decide to do it instead of receiving the punishment, everyone would do like this, but no one can take away your freedom to think.
Emotional needs are mostly met through human connection and intimacy; if you don’t have anyone available yet, you can promise yourself to heal in the honor of liberating the friends you lost because they live in you and in honor of the friends you haven’t met. Also, a truth I used in myself was deciding my true identity is “I am a person on the path of healing and on the path of finding out the truth”.
You can deactivate each and every single program without the need of codes with just one simple process. The process of emotionally processing your self’ states frozen in pain.
For this step it’s important to comprehend that each program your system executes is executed being sure it will help you in order to avoid worse pain. So, you need to eliminate the pain from your system. You do this with the innovative yet old practice of staying unconditionally with your pain. You need to feel it in order to heal it, after a truly compassionate while, just with your focused loving presence, it will be transformed.
If you’ll take only one thing from everything I said, let it be this one - feel your pain to process it.
This is your axis of power, because the processed pain will get to a point where it ceases to exist, and when this pain ceases to exist, there won’t be any triggers left in your system, which will allow your fragments to disobey the programs ‘cause the fear is not anymore present. This is also your axis of power because no one can take away the decision to feel from you. That’s impossible. This method dissolves the amnesic barriers and you become able to use the information and abilities of the rest of your system for your personal advantage. Each and every trigger is an opportunity to apply this process. Also, you don’t need mapping nor codes, because this process is organic. Relief from pain is executing the programmed action, relief is also addiction (distraction of the pain), but there’s no need for relief if there is no pain anymore.
Pain for this process should be understood as any negative emotion, from hallucinations and panic attacks, to sadness, shock, despair, hopelessness, numbness and sorrow. Just feel it, sink deeper into it.
If you want to master this practice, I’d recommend you reading “the Completion Process” by Teal Swan.
If you want to better understand how to deactivate various specific programs, I’d recommend you reading “Ritual Abuse and Mind Control: The Manipulation of Attachment Needs” edited by Joseph Schwartz, Orit Badouk-Epstein, Rachel Wingfield Schwartz.
Indeed, both perspectives can be merged.
#programmed system#mind control#did community#monarch mind control#dissociative system#did system#healing#ramcoa#actuallydid#dissociative identity disorder
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How every program works in our system and how to deactivate them
A comprehensive guide to heal from Mind Control.
Hi! I created an over simplified general explanation of my understanding of MK so it’s easier to heal from it. It’s a further in-depth consideration of the many factors and organic processes of the human psyche involved and I wrote it mindfully for those who want an exact explanation of the system, so you can control it and deprogram yourself.
Any further insight on the topic is well appreciated.
TW
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Every living organism on Earth has a communication system with its environment and within itself to guarantee survival. Every environment is a system and we could understand each organism is a complex system in and of itself. I.e. a human system is composed by a system of organs which are communicated between them, each sub system, like the blood system is dependent on other systems, like the respiratory system or the digestive system, so on and so forth, until we understand that our survival is dependent on the communication of the systems within the systems from a single cell and its relationship to others cells to the human being as a whole and then with the environment this human is placed at. It could be said that effective communication is the key to survival, this communication system is also known as homeostasis.
A highly Mind Control - fragmented individual is no different from the previously described physiological system. Each system installed within the psyche has a planned function and the communication between these fragments of consciousness is composed by “programs”. Thus, it can be said that Mind Control programming is the deliberate and conscious intention to cause a fake homeostasis in the psychological system.
A human psychological system is composed of two main components: beliefs and emotions. This system is consciously mirrored in MK with programs and pain self states, respectively.
Programs are composed of two main vibrations: thoughts and fragments of memories. Thought in essence is the abstraction of outer reality to create an inner reality so the psychological system can have a better communication with its environment and then guarantee survival this way. Keep in mind thoughts can both be installed and also be the result of the interpretative abstraction of experiences such as traumatic experiences. This abstraction phase tends to be the weakest point in MK, that’s the evident reason why the focus on creating the exact outer interpretable reality is the most well thought and carefully applied part of the programming process.
Dissociation
The role of the psyche is to be the bridge between internal and external stimuli, this homeostatic process is called behaviour. But in order to give an appropriate communication to the environment, the psyche first needs to abstract such reality.
To abstract reality, the psyche needs to correlate a given emotion with a given coherent thought. We call this an experience. Each experience a human faces becomes part of the belief and emotional system of (fragments within a) person.
The human being, as any other organism is hard wired for its more instinctive core motivation: survival. Pain is the absence of integrity (pain self state) or the perceived absence of integrity (belief). There are different levels of pain, each level provides a different communication from the organism. Simplified, in MK, mild states of pain are inflicted to create and reinforce conscious abstractions of reality; meanwhile deep states of torture are inflicted in order to activate unique responses, all of them related with perception, some of them are: acute awareness of the external stimuli, slowing of the perception of time and the acting on all the different strategies the being can conceive of in order to assure its survival, all of them resourced in MK for different purposes, given the physical communication is understood as a life/death scenario, the psyche ranks as highest any proper homeostasis sacrificing the rest of the existing integrative self preservation mechanisms, i.g. an individual is unlikely to mutilate his own arm or severely hurt others in a normal state, but under extreme torture he is likely to do it if he perceives this behaviour as the appropriate communication with the environment to guarantee self preservation. Given this information is stored during dissociative (torture-induced) states, and dissociative states are kept in the subconscious, the beliefs and self states achieved during programming sessions are recorded in the subconscious mind. This is the why when it comes about memory loss.
Triggers
Let’s remember that abstraction is the main communication tool of the psyche, given abstraction guarantees survival, one of our psyche’s core compulsions is to abstract information from every lived experience, but in order to get this abstraction it needs to process both the emotions and the thoughts, the self states and beliefs, to the overall psychical system.
The organism, when experiencing trauma, dissociates the experience into fragments as an emergency self preservation mechanism. The purpose of fragmentation is to be able to give an effective immediate communication that ensures survival and then, when the system detects itself in a safe enough environment, the psyche integrates that experience to have a better accurate response in the future.
This is why memory loss or the amnesia organically starts to fade after some time, faster when the system finds itself in a rather prosperous environment. Given a situation where there are no immediate perceived threats to survival, the psyche’s integrative mechanism organically gets activated and starts trying to integrate the dissociated experiences. This means that if you get organically triggered it’s because your psyche detects you are safe enough to process it.
MK simplified is to play with the relationships linked between the perceived survival threat and the encoded beliefs about how to reach homeostasis.
It does this by purposefully implementing triggers to create a pathway to certain self states and implementing beliefs along this pathway to manipulate the way these self states relate to each other, so, given a certain trigger the organism executes a behaviour that otherwise would be organically impossible to show, this because in MK both the beliefs and the pain self states are impaired and some self states are made believe executing a program/behaviour is the best communication for homeostasis immersed in experimentally controlled designed environments that self-state is created or activated at, along the intended belief system that’s tied in its experience, always impulsed by the core motivation of self-preservation. MK dissects the psyche’s natural integrative mechanism both to generate forgetfulness and activate complex trigger pathways for controlled behaviour.
Mind Control programmed triggers are activated because yet again, given the psyche’s role to ensure survival, when it detects itself in a similar environment it triggers the dissociated self/ego-state active while (or deliberately trigger-pathway-led to when) it was formed. This happens because the psyche decides to replicate the same behaviour that previously managed to ensure the system’s survival or the behavior which got the system some relief, always looking for the optimal least painful option. This is the cause of addiction in common behaviour.
Because of this important role in the homeostatic process for survival, one of the main organic characteristics of the psyche is to look for the integration of these fragments. This is the reason why triggers exist, without this organic integrative psychological mechanism MK would be impossible to exist, indeed, some of the compulsions trauma gives rise to are the unconscious attempts of the psyche of reaching integration by re-creating the situations that would help it trigger itself or by giving to the pain self state an immediate coherent belief for its explanation (self destructive behavior). This self destructive behavior happens when the information is not processed correctly, being integration a subconscious order.
Integration - how to process a self state
The beliefs are commonly integrated in an organic way once the pain self states are integrated, but general research about psychology and MK is advised, as well as sharing your experiences with a qualified mental health practitioner and in self-help communities.
In order to integrate a pain self state you need to re experience it. You need to be unconditionally present with it. You need to feel the emotion and if anything sink deeper into it. You need to have an attitude of compassion.
The more traumatic the experience is, the more the information that is required to be integrated is, so the longer the time the unconditional presence is required. But the psyche, in order to avoid overwhelm, segments this emotional integrative process, so there are different emotional experiences or emotional layers or stages during this natural integrative mechanism, which generally come linear from fear to powerlessness and then anger, sadness, hope, all the way to reach well being. Beware that the emotional, mental and physical reactions during the emotional experiencing process might be extreme.
In pragmatic terms, you may feel you may die if you don’t execute the program, which is felt as a strong compulsion, but I’m here to remind you this happens because your system was wired so you associate the execution of the program with relief from the strongest human core motivation: self preservation. In other words, that program is simply linked to a dissociated (not-integrated) pain self state usually “best for programming purposes” backed up with the fear of death.
There are two main stances to heal from Mind Control.
1.- Rewire yourself to a close enough organic response, so the behaviour you exhibit goes according to the real stimuli. This could be done with parts work and abstract visualisation.
This is a round-about way. The main disadvantage is that you might need to know your mapping in order to understand the relationship which links your self states between them. Some programmed implementations might be deceitful in order to hide these links and prevent you from doing this rewiring process, specially when you don’t know the associated triggers (codes). Also, given the organic integration mechanism, you will have to follow the second path either way.
At best, with this path you’ll be able to have control over your triggers so you don’t get self states activated according to the original program and mapping but to one of your choosing. It’s important to mention you must deactivate the programs if you find them.
2.- Process the pain self states. Knowing all the programs are backed up with pain self states, each time you get triggered to execute a program you just need to deny yourself from the relief of executing it and rather feel the negative emotion tied to it. This also works with any addictive or self destructive behaviour.
One of the greatest advantages of this process is that each time you integrate a pain self state you are destroying the real foundational structure of the programmed system stablished through MK. Usually more than one program is linked to a single pain self state, so integrating just one pain self state deactivates more than one program. Next time another program tied to that (now) integrated self-state gets triggered, you won’t feel any negative emotion if you don’t execute it.
Given emotion (pain self states) tends to be the closest to the conscious mind, this is also the process which enables memory retrieval, thus giving you access to the information and abilities of the rest of your system. This is the organic process your psyche will follow even if you don’t know how it works and even if you ignore its existence, yet it’s my personal recommendation to apply this process in a conscious manner. The fastest optimal state is getting to the point of purposefully triggering yourself to deliberately integrate pain self states.
Both stances can indeed be merged and used at the same time.
My personal experience
Now, if you allow me, I want to share my personal experience in this matter. Life has been hell for me. For years all day long I thought about all the different ways I could kill myself just because thinking it would be over felt as relief, starting my first attempt at 11 years old.
It’s at that age that unknown to me, the psyche’s integrative mechanism of emotional experiencing process activated itself, my symptoms were crying while suffocating and throwing up at the same time, the pain was so intense I prayed God to please kill me, also hallucinations in dissociative state, hitting myself over and over against the wall and screaming without being able to hear me.
13 years have gone by since then, I have had other symptoms, like extreme diarrhea, nosebleeds, headaches, demonic nightmares and panic attacks.
I still have a long road before me, I’m just starting to remember.
But each time the overall pain is less and I even got to experience emotions like joy and enthusiasm. Each time the symptoms are less intense as well.
13 years have passed since I tried to kill myself at eleven yo, and now life is not that hell it used to be. Now I have hope. Even, let me tell you a personal secret, some months ago, I fell in love with another guy and it was magical, our relationship didn’t last long, but it was more than what I could ever imagine I could have. Falling in love was the dream of my life, and I made it.
Summary
In essence, just as I previously mentioned, the key process to heal from MK is to feel your emotions with compassionate presence.
When the pain self states and the beliefs are integrated to the psyche, the system successfully reaches a state of organic homeostasis.
In other words, when you process the emotions and thoughts of your traumatic experiences, you reach a state of psychological peace and well being.
To further master the practice of the emotional experiencing process I recommend you watching “Follow the feeling process” by Teal Swan - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVShM00qQ80
And then watching “How to do the emotional healing process” by Teal Swan - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQYlpIPdirs
For further information I recommend you reading - “Ritual Abuse and Mind Control: The Manipulation of Attachment Needs” edited by Joseph Schwartz, Orit Badouk-Epstein, Rachel Wingfield Schwartz.
Written with love for you.
#mind control#monarch mind control#dissociative system#did system#did community#healing#ramcoa#mk ultra
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“he gave me an appointment next day and told me I'm more than just a diagnosis.”
Estoy confundido ¿Tienes DID oficialmente o no?
No te preocupes, sigue confundido, no pasa nada. Cuando tengas una mejor pregunta me avisas, por fa.
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Please be aware that terms like ramcoa/sra are problematic antisemitic roots, and MK ULTRA ended in the 1960 and many documents have been declassified by the CIA and are available for free online.
Project bluebird, project artichoke, and MK ULTRA all failed to provide reliable evidence of mind control.
Please be aware that I don’t care, Volkswagen, universal human rights and some medicine also have antisemitic roots but nowadays they’re not about that. When I say I’m traumatised I never mean I’m in favour of antisemitism. I’m aware of the original names and the horrid torture they come from, but since it was the very origin of mind control, then ramcoa/mk is the most used term to describe all the projects that are still alive, under whichever name you prefer to call this. And it doesn’t take much time to realise that if the CIA kept those documents hidden for decades, then they accept they do practice secret human experiments, do you really think they would openly admit they still do it and that they successfully made it possible? You’re missing a lot of common sense. Thank you for calling out the most obvious pieces of data that I could have ever thought of, next time share something indeed useful or at least an interesting question, please.
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