blackvelvetvampire

[blackvelvetvampire]

True pain is when your favorite Pokemon has bad stats ;-;

[blackvelvetvampire]

I would like to thank Myself, for being funny, I would NOT like to thank all my friends that I told to follow me and DIDN’T, and most of all… I would like to thank all the horny people who liked my post of Shirtless Farkas! 🤗

[blackvelvetvampire]

I wish I penis

[blackvelvetvampire]

It’s NEVER to early to start your fall/halloween to-do list

[blackvelvetvampire]

I love playing video games till 6 in the morning and when I hear birds chirping I’m so tired I think it’s from my video game

[blackvelvetvampire]

Ever wonder how lady Gaga got salmonella? It’s cuz she ate chicken raw raw ra-a-aw!

[blackvelvetvampire]

I really feel like sucking on some himbo nipples

[blackvelvetvampire]

He lives rent free in my mind I started playing Skyrim again literally like 3 days ago. I feel bad for my friends because he’s all I talk about.

[blackvelvetvampire]

Why does no one ever listen to me

[blackvelvetvampire]

Me coming for my homies delicious, juicy, thicc, round, jiggly, sweet, phat, curvy, circular, tight, muscular, vast, cosmic, colossal, gigantic, whopping, gargantuan ass 

[blackvelvetvampire]

I was camping with my family a few days ago, and we found this mushroom/fungus thing. It was really cool to me so I wanted to ask if anyone knew what it was. For context, we were camping in New Mexico, it was the only mushroom in the area and there was a bunch of blue beetles on it.

[blackvelvetvampire]

Somtimes Life is 15% nipple and 85% areola, and there’s nothing you can do about that.

[blackvelvetvampire]

My sleep paralysis demon is the entire band of Deftones 

[blackvelvetvampire]

This song brings out the white woman in me

[blackvelvetvampire]

One of my bugzzz, one of my bed buzzz eat my pussy

[blackvelvetvampire]

My toxic trait is thinking I can eat a tide pod and survive. Like, I’m not going to, but if I did I would survive.

[blackvelvetvampire]

I present my very tired single dad gay jester and his two mischievous clown babies