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Happy Birthday to my best boy ✨️ Kalim Al Asim ✨️

Can't believe I cosplayed him over two years ago now.. I need to step up my game and cosplay him again!! I've been obsessed with him for almost 5 years now, god where has time gone 🥺 Hope anyone who was hoping to get his cards were blessed by the gatcha gods 🙏🙏

First pictures was taken by Shill Photography 🩷 (instagram)

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They’re meant to be💕💕

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All the birthday arts I'm seeing for Kalim is making me so happy 😭😭 I love him so much, his sleepwear is very adorable and probably more expensive than anything I know tbf.. but that groovy is so cute and I love seeing the other Scarabia students supporting him 🥺🥺🥺

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might be a bit of a stretch and an over-analysis, but i like how fudou in the anime does not have any solo hissatsu techniques and instead always does combination hissatsus. i also love the fact that even if he acted antagonistic towards inazuma japan at the start of the FFI and he seemed like he didn't give a shit about his teammates, you have to give it to him that he cares enough to know everyone's best and weak points to be able to utilize them efficiently in a game plan (maybe an over-analysis: but i like to think that at first he only ever cared about winning, but slowly he started to care about the team [exhibit a: his reaction to tobitaka after he gets fired up]) as much as fudou wants to make himself the lone wolf, deep down he's someone who likes to be in a pack.

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✨PTSD AWARENESS MONTH✨

Now, normally I don't do cosplay pics here, nvm out of cosplay pics. But this is an important topic to me and I think very relevant to many AFTG fans that I think people touch on via headcanon and often relate to in regards to the characters but often goes unnamed.

I wanted to do a little post with some information, my experience and what I did and do to manage my own CPTSD (complex post traumatic stress disorder) this will be incredibly personal but I feel not only does it help me to talk about it but I feel it's important to talk about in general.

The main difference between PTSD and CPTSD is the timeframe. PTSD is generally a singular event or short-term events whereas CPTSD involves repeated trauma over a longer period of time (also includes childhood developmental trauma)

CPTSD completely rewrites how the brain works and how you see yourself personally and relationships. CPTSD shares some symptoms with PTSD, such as flashbacks and paranoia, but it also includes additional challenges like emotional dysregulation, negative self-perception, and difficulties with relationships.

CW for below:

-domestic abuse

-verbal, emotional, physical abuse

-discussions of bad mental health/suicide/ED

So to get into it, I'm Marie/Sunshine whichever people prefer, and I was diagnosed with CPTSD in 2023 after leaving an abusive relationship.

It was near daily arguments, verbal harassment and abuse, being unable to sleep and not able to work uninterrupted. I found my every day revolved around trying to keep them happy and stop them being mad at me, there was the odd physical altercation I have only recently been coming to terms with being wrong. Between the verbal and emotional abuse daily, then only being kind when I offered my body and the physical hurt my brain quickly spiralled, I couldn't say I was ever mentally present, I heavily disassociated which angered them further when they felt I wasn't paying attention enough but I just couldn't bring myself back, I used savings to try and keep them happy and because I felt constantly guilted, tried everything just so I could have peace. It was never worth it. Any time I would bring up my hurt, my concerns it was always spun to be my fault, that I wasn't understanding enough, I was the defensive one who couldn't accept my wrongdoings. Yet it felt like all I could do was apologise.

Leaving them was one of the scariest things I have done, the actual pain I felt in my body at the time I didn't realise was my fear culminating physically and I thought it was upset at a breakup. I wasn't sure if my decision, I felt terrified to be without them nevermind with them. The way I was spoken to ended up with me being borderline suicidal, I was so dissociated I don't think I even realised how bad it was, I had lost a huge amount of weight, dropping multiple sizes when It came to my cosplays.

It wasn't till months later when I'd finally cut them off that it all hit me and I truly started processing, all this time I couldn't sleep due to the nightmares and paranoia, the flashbacks were completely crippling me, I couldn't be in certain areas of my own house without them. I couldn't handle my phone flashing with notifications because I'd fear it was more mean things, I had to turn off all my notifications, I wouldn't talk to people for months, I just couldn't cope with any sort of interaction out of fear. I can still remember the feeling of pure dread that would sink in my chest at these things, it still happens; just much less. I didn't want to go out, I couldn't trust the world I felt like everything was wrong and so was I, I felt completely off kilter and not human.

I knew I wasn't coping, and I knew I couldn't keep suffering this, I wanted to live and live free. So I signed myself up to therapy, I ended up seeing a trauma therapist who assisted me in finding ways to cope, to be able to push through the flashbacks and understand I did the best I could with the information at the time. It wasn't my fault, it never was.

I have been lucky enough that the meds I take for my migraines also have been used for some ti treat other things such as insomnia/anxiety/depression. So I found the meds also help me sleep and keep me awake.

It has taken me years but I'm in a much better place, I have amazing friends who were there for me through it all and loved me even when I couldn't bring myself to show I loved them. I lost a friend who was one of the first to call out the abuse to me but decided to latch on to the abuser themselves, seeing themselves in them, I don't count anymore as a major loss- if they see themselves in my abuser then it's certainly not someone I need around me. I'm not who I used to be, I mourn that person who never got to fully flourish, but I also treasure them and the fact for a while I was them while I muddle my way through who I am now.

Now I can truly live without all of the fear I once had.

Am I still scared? Yes.

Do I still feel that dread? Yes sometimes

Do I still get flashbacks? Yes, but not as much as I once did

CPTSD sadly doesn't go away, I will always have to cope with this. For a long time I wanted to deny it, refusing to let it be part of me for it has already taken everything from me and changed who I was permanently. I now accept it is part of me, but I won't let it be the only part of me. I may still have flashbacks, and fear but I can manage that much better, and when I don't I understand that I need to have compassion for myself even when that's hard. Only recently have I felt able to start connecting with people again, nor fearing anyone looking too closely or even trying to reach out to me.

But the biggest thing I do to manage my CPTSD is have patience and compassion for myself, it's way easier said than done. Took time, still takes time and I have to sometimes convince myself of it. We deserve the time to feel safe and talk ourselves through what our mind throws at us.

Set your boundaries.If you need to turn off notifications, do it. If you need people to not touch you, set that boundary. People who love you will want to support you and make your life easier. However a lot of our coping is on us, we have to set those lines and it does take some time to even find where the line is for us, but once we do, enforce it.

Where possible I do highly recommend attempting therapy, it isn't for everyone, I myself don't get on with it long term, but to atleast gain the knowledge on coping mechanisms it was very worth it. (I say this being in the UK so it is a different system to most and I know I stuck extremely lucky in being able to get therapy so quickly when I needed it) I also say this as someone who doesn't like therapy, I don't like going but I cannot deny the benefits of doing so and actively recommend it.

Give yourself time. Things like this don't go away sadly. It's taking the time to relearn ourselves and how to live as ourselves again. It takes time to learn what works and moves us forward.

Try new hobbies. I was always a cosplayer but I found throughout this it tainted that for me since my abuser was also a cosplayer. I tried so many things, little craft book nooks, sewing, got back into reading, gaming, and I ended up getting into dolls which I had wanted to do forever which ofc led me to creating the lil guys. The lil guys really brought me so much happiness, at first I was a bit embarrassed by the hobby but now it's my favourite thing. The insane joy I get from talking about them or making them and taking them places

I will likely come back and add things to this as I always fear I'm not wording myself correctly or could come across better.

I will also add any NGL questions I get about my experience which can always be asked here

I wish to stress while this is my experience, if I have worded myself incorrectly or been insensitive please do let me know!

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“Lift your heads up!! We've always done when we've had to do...! No matter how cruel it is, you can't stop!!” - Sara Chidouin

Finally sharing my Sara cosplay! I finished it back in January for a con with my sister as Kanna :) The skirt was hard to make as I really struggled with pleats, but practice makes improvement right?? I wore her again last weekend to a con and it was lovely to have people recognise the characters 🥰 Pictures were taken by my sister 🩷

Manifesting YTTD last chapter this year 😔😔 My next cosplay will be my baby Joe of course! I can reuse the shirt, tie and jacket from Sara, so I’ve just got some of his accessories to make and his wig to do 🥰

Any other YTTD cosplayers here?? I usually post my cosplay on Instagram but as time goes on I really dislike the algorithm there and the expectation to post regularly. Cosplay is just a chill hobby to me and I appreciate being able to post whenever with no pressure :)

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My first dolls have arrived 🥺 I bought both of them off Vinted and I'm so happy with them!! I've finally fallen into the hobby lol I want to take them everywhere, its so satisfying to carry them with me 🥺 I still need to decide on a name for my strawberry girlie but her gf is called Pomme ✨️

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Update on my last post, I caved and finally bought my first two dolls 🥺 Got them secondhand on vinted and I'm so excited to have them!! One of the seller was so genuinely sweet I think I may have gotten a friend in the process 🥺

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I've been deep in Twisted Wonderland brainrot lately so decided I would share my Kalim cosplay I've done two years ago! Can't believe it's been that long already! I'm looking forward to be remaking his turban with improved embroidery, but I'm still so proud of the knitted cardigan I made for him :)

Photography by shillphotography!

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Not @panomiels-box getting influenced by @bucchi-boo into getting lil guys nendoll, then getting into the doll hobby and therefore influencing me, and then I end up showing the dolls and influencing @bucchi-boo to get dolls. We've made a circle of influencing each other 🤣

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「パンクの女王 x 夜空のシフォン」 🌹シリーズ

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Thought I should start sharing stuff over so here is my latest project :) I made this cardigan for my sister’s birthday and it’s the biggest piece I’ve ever crocheted ! I’m happy I finished it although it’s quite rough in the edges as I had to make it bigger after I thought I had already finished the project… we learn!

I’m thinking of making one for myself once I’m done with my current project :)

Pattern by forlingcrochet (Etsy https://www.etsy.com/listing/1723096578/?ref=share_ios_native_control)

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today's my birthday so i thought it'd be fun to draw the p:eg character whose birthday is closest to mine, and that's mark! ♪

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hiya @hyriaven i was your secret santa for @phmonth's secret santa event!! ૮꒰ྀི∩´ ᵕ `∩꒱ྀིა

i'm really really sorry for posting so late, i hope you had very lovely festive holidays and a great start to 2025!

here's a silly little fanart of modern au gil and alice just munching on some take out during a lazy winter night ♪ (oz is having a sleepover with leo and elliot so gil's somewhat worried hahah - i can totally imagine their texts as this truly excellent meme ദ്ദി(•̀ ᗜ <))

hope you like it! all the best for the new year and thank you @i-prefer-the-term-antihero for organising this!! ☆

》 reference credit 《

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Happy Birthday Lilia!!

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Very nice cat café time with Jean's godparent!! (Being nice and hiding their face)

Cat therapy is a very good choice for him and lots of sweet treats, we could hear Kevin screaming all the way from home