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blusapphire · 22 days

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Play me a memory (Billy Russo x Reader)- Chapter 9

Summary: When you first met Billy Russo, you fell for him hard and fast. Being with him was like a dream, You were perfect for each other, or so you thought. You return home one night to find all traces of him gone. You’re left heartbroken… and with a life changing surprise. Years later, you find yourself in a predicament when you unexpectedly find your way back into each other’s lives.

A/N: So sorry for the long wait, but I hope you guys enjoy! Thanks for the likes, comments, and reblogs, they are all greatly appreciated!

Warnings: Swearing, Blood, brief mentions of sex

Series Masterlist

…

Well, this was highly unexpected.

You stood at your door, staring with a dazed look on your face, as you wracked your brain, thinking of all the possibilities and reasons why what was happening, was happening.

Why was Billy at your door this time of night?

You nor Jaz had opened the door, and you thought it was funny that if it were a few years ago, you would have opened that door for Billy, without a second thought, but now, the thought had not even crossed your mind.

Jaz hadn’t let go of the baseball bat she had carried with her to the door, still holding it up as if there was an ongoing threat on the other side. You didn’t say much for a while, just thinking, when Jaz broke the silence.

“What’s he doing here?” Jaz asked, in a yelled whisper.

“I-I don’t know?” you slightly yelled back, “your guess is as good as mine!“

Your daughter, thankfully, wanted to stay over at your aunt’s this weekend, so she wasn’t home, but for whatever reason Billy was here, you didn’t want to let him in. Ava may not have been home, but as imagined, her stuff was all over the apartment, so it wasn’t an option.

You soon realized that you had spent the whole time not saying anything to Billy, too busy trying to find your own explanation, when the loud sounds of hissing and grunting made you snap your head back in the direction of the door, finally inquiring on Billy’s visit.

“Billy, what are you doing here?”

You could tell that he was leaning on your doorframe, and you guessed that someone who stood at the door would sound a bit further away, but his voice sounded closer, as if he were right by the door. You could hear him trying to speak, but his strained breathing stopped him from doing so, and you spoke.

“Billy, you can’t just show up here like this. Especially at this time-“

“No, I know it’s late, and I’m sorry if I woke you,” he spoke, his voice strained, “but I…I kinda need a ride home...”

His response made you stand upright, and you frowned. You were puzzled as to why he would show up at this time, of all times, for something as simple as…a ride home. You shot a glance at Jaz, who had the same expression written on her face, and you spoke for the both of you when you voiced it.

”You came all the way here…to ask for a ride home?”

You heard him chuckle before he answered, his voice still strained.

“Yeah, I know it’s out of the blue but, I was around the neighborhood, and I had a ride but he…well, he kinda ditched me. And I can’t really drive right now so…”

What he was saying didn’t make any sense, at all. Billy had a car. So why would he turn up late at night, asking you, of all things, for a ride?

“You’re not making any sense, right now, what do you mean you’re ride ditched you?”

He didn’t respond with any words, instead with another grunt and a hiss, a now clear sign that he might have been in pain. The noises were repeated and ongoing, and it started to worry you, which you couldn’t hide in your voice.

“Why do you sound like that?”

Billy didn’t answer you again, his heavy breathing his only response, so you pondered again.

“…Are you hurt?”

After a few seconds of heavy breathing and the persistent sounds of discomfort, another grunt took over what you were sure was meant to be words, and he spoke.

“Yeah,” he admitted. “I’m a little banged up.”

Knowing Billy, ‘a little banged up’ often meant quite the opposite. He would always downplay how serious his injury was whenever he was hurt in the past, so keeping that in mind, you didn’t hesitate to reach for the handle, and unlock the door. When you did though, the sight you were met with stopped you in your tracks, and a small gasp left your lips.

Your hands flew up to your mouth and your eyes widened, as you watched Billy lean on your doorframe, in attempt to hold himself upright.

“Oh my God, what the hell happened to you?!”

You reached for him, but quickly pulled your hands away when he swore, in pain. You profusely apologized, leaving him to lean on the doorframe again.

You then felt Jaz come up next to you, who had been standing behind the door for a minute now, and when she emerged, she didn’t exactly have the same reaction as you did.

“You’re lucky Russo, I almost rearranged your face with this thing-Woah...” Jaz paused in her words, finally lowering the bat she had in her hand. “You look like shit.”

Billy chuckled at her comment, followed by a wince and a deep inhale.

“Nice to see you again too, Jaz.”

He wore dark clothing, but it took a matter of a second to guess that it was blood that drenched his clothes, the tint too dark to be anything else. His hands were painted in it too, fresh bruises forming over his knuckles, one of them grasping his other arm, as he winced in pain.

He looked like he had gotten into some kind of fight or altercation, but whatever it was, it wasn’t good.

There were spots of blood trailing your apartment door, some of it dripping through his fingers and onto the floor.

You were taken aback, standing there and watching, as you took in the sight before you. You could feel your facial expressions change in a matter of seconds from shock, to worrisome, which Billy noticed, and he shook his head, trying to console you.

“…it’s not that bad.”

Your eyes shot up to his, and you looked at him as if he had grown two heads.

He had to be insane. Not that bad was a paper cut, or knee scrape. Not blood dripping through your hands and barely being able to stand on your own.

“Not that bad?” You yelled, narrowing your eyes at him, “You’re leaving trails of blood all over the floor, and you can barely even stand!-This is a little banged up?!”

Billy ran his tongue over his lips, and sighed.

“Really, I'm fine,” he reassured, “it looks worse than it actually is.”

None this made any sense to you. Why would Billy stop by at your apartment, for a ride of all things, when he could barely stand at that, and not go straight to the hospital, where they’d aid him? You didn’t know what to do, so you did the only thing that made sense in that moment.

“Wait here, lemme me grab my coat, and I’m gonna drive you to the hospital-“

“No,” he blurted, “no hospital. I just need a ride back to my place. So I can patch myself up.”

He remained grasping his upper arm, and had a stern look on his face when he spoke to you, which you thought was crazy.

“...Are you insane? You don’t have to patch yourself up, that’s what hospitals are for, I’m taking you, you’re hurt and-!”

“Y/n,” he sighed, prompting you to stop and look at him, “I can’t go to the hospital. They’ll ask too many questions that I…that I can’t answer…”

He swallowed and look away at his last words, down at the ground. It was then that you come to the conclusion that whatever left him in this state wasn’t the result of anything good, no injuries ever were, but showing up at this hour, injured, and to refusing to go to the hospital, in fear of them asking questions…was a dead giveaway.

It also didn’t help that he chose to ignore your first question of where he’s been, instead of answering them.

“…You mean the question you’ve failed to answer since you got here, like where you’ve been? Or why you’re bleeding all over the place? Those questions?”

He looked at you then, and it was as if his eyes were pleading with you, not to ask any further about the situation.

How could he just show up in the state he was in, and not want you to ask questions? Who would even agree to that?

But, that wasn’t important right now.

What was important was that he was hurt. And any questions, or I’ll feelings about the situation and the past would have to wait, because you had to make sure he was okay.

So, you finally agreed, much to your displeasure.

“Fine,” you said dryly. “Wait here.”

You grabbed your keys and your coat, prepared to head out, when Jaz sad something about wanting to tag along. It was a hassle getting downstairs, Billy insistent that he didn’t need help to, but his pained hissing saying otherwise.

…

“This is where you live?”

You looked up slightly in awe at the high rise building that stood in front of you, admiring the outside, as you stepped out of your car. The building was luxurious, the exterior even catching the eye of strangers passing by.

“Wow,” Jaz followed right behind you, impressed. “Not too shabby, Russo. Even for you.”

That earned a small laugh from Billy in return, and he helped himself out of your car, and he led you to the entrance, where a doorman awaited. Billy greeted him, and to your surprise, the doorman simply smiled, as he held open the door for the three of you, as if Billy weren’t covered in blood. Perhaps it wasn’t visible due to how dark it was outside, and you couldn’t tell if he genuinely didn’t know, or if he chose to ignore it, but you followed Billy anyway.

Upstairs, the inside of Billy’s apartment, was even more luxurious, and you would even say, breathtaking. You had a well paying job, and had one of the highest salaries in your company, but you could admit that you could never afford to live in a place like this one. You knew that Billy had grown wealthy over the years, through Anvil, but he must’ve been doing better than you had guessed to secure such a place.

As soon as you made it inside, Billy gently sat down his couch, an expensive one if you might add, shifting. You couldn’t help but scan your eyes over his large apartment, the large windows having a gorgeous view of the city. Surprisingly, the place mostly empty except for a the couches and few chairs. To the side, there were different varieties of bottles of alcohol displayed behind a shelf of glass.

You thought it looked an expensive suite you would only dream of staying in. But regardless of the expensive displays, and furniture, there was nothing about Billy’s apartment that…made it a home. Under all the luxury, If you were honest, it looked rather sad. There were no pictures, or anything, that said anything about him or his life. You were curious as to why that was, but you were pulled out of your thought when you heard Billy’s voice.

“Fuck,” Billy swore, now grabbing at his torso, as he shifted on the couch, drawing your attention back to him.

“Where’s your first aid kit?” You asked, remembering the task at hand.

“You don’t have to,” he shook his head. “I can patch myself up, I just need a minute.”

You looked away for a moment, annoyed at his constant refusal of aid from you.

“Billy,” you closed your eyes, and heaved an exasperated sigh. “You wouldn’t let me take you to the hospital, and you’ve probably lost a good amount of blood by now, so I’m not arguing with you about this. Where’s the fucking kit?”

He put his hands up in defense, giving up without another word, and threw his head in the direction of one of the rooms.

“The bathroom.”

“I’ll get it,” Jaz offered, as she poked her head out of Billy’s kitchen.

You had wondered where she disappeared to, the room she choose to explore making sense in her case. As she went grab the kit, you pulled a chair in front of Billy.

You fixed your mouth to speak your next words, opening and closing your lips as they failed to come out, and Billy furrowed his eyebrows, puzzled, as he started back at you struggling to speak. You knew what you wanted to say next, it was necessary, but you couldn’t help but feel the heat rising to your face.

Maybe you hadn’t thought this all the way through.

“Okay,” you sighed. “You have to…you have to take your shirt off.”

You voice came out in low mutter, but it was obvious that Billy heard you.

Within a second, Billy’s face went from confused, to amused, and he couldn’t hold in the smirk that took over his face, as he reached over, and began to peel his shirt off.

“You know, you should’ve led with that,” he remarked, “would’ve saved a hell of a lot of time.”

You sighed, amazed at how he could still manage to flirt even when he was hurt, and it made you wonder if he was truly confused previously, or if he actually did know what you were struggling to say.

He was having a hard time removing his shirt, his hissing and swearing the indication, and you couldn’t stand to watch him in pain any longer, so you stepped in.

“Here…”

You stood up and helped him pull his shirt over his head, a difficult task, and his hair was left a bit messy from his shirt brushing over it. You could finally see the wound that he had been holding onto in pain all night, the blood having stopped. You slightly grimaced at the sight, eyeing it.

It wasn’t a deep one, so it didn’t look like it needed stitches, but deep enough that the amount of bleeding made sense. When you took a good look at it, and didn’t take you very long to guess what caused it, it’s shape similar to one you’ve seen on Billy’s body before.

You dreaded to even think it, but the wound was similar to that of a bullet graze. It had to be, because there was nothing else you’d ever seen that made a wound like that.

Where the fuck did he get a bullet graze from?

As you stared at his arm, your mouth slightly agape, Billy noticed, and as if trying to shift your attention, he moved to peel off what he had left on, a white tank top. It was apparent that he had fresh wounds underneath, the bright red patches seeping through the undershirt. When he removed that next, you were left stunned for the second time that night.

All your nervous emotions seemed to go out the window, with what you did next.

Lifting your hand, you placed you fingers on his bare chest, trailing down his body where the scars were plastered, and your eyes followed suit, darting back and forth where your hands led, and you could feel Billy’s gaze on you.

“Like what you see?” Billy commented, with a smirk.

You were too baffled with what you were looking at go respond to his words.

Besides the fresh wounds, there were scars that you didn’t recognize. Most were healed, the light pink shade of them indicating that they were older, and there were some that were fresher, but not from tonight. They were much too healed to be from tonight. He obviously had some, from when he served, and you knew them like the back of your hand, so you were certain.

Those scars were definitely not there before.

You had no idea what he had been doing to acquire wounds and scars like these, and there could have been a long list of possibilities.

But you knew none of them were good. They couldn’t be.

What you also couldn’t understand, was the why. Why would Billy be involved in these things?

It couldn’t have been for money. He had his own company, and you guessed must’ve had many, many high end clients. He was filthy rich, hence the place you were sitting in now.

It could’ve been anything, because you didn’t know what he had gotten into these last few years. Mostly because he wouldn’t tell you.

You hadn’t even noticed that you said nothing all this time, and your hand made it all the way down to the middle of his body, just a few spaces from his middle. So you realized how it might’ve looked from Billy’s perspective, you were just…touching and staring.

And he didn’t miss the opportunity to voice his thoughts.

“…I really, really, like where this is going,” he said, amused. “Wherever it’s going.”

You ignored his remark, skipping to the question you had in mind.

“Where did you get these?” You asked, in a whisper, as you were still entranced with the scars that covered his body.

Within the second, Billy’s smirk quickly diffused, and he ran his tongue over his lips, shifting in his seat. He let out a sigh, and the words left his lips in a rush.

“Training,” he said in an obvious tone. “At Anvil. Sometimes, it’s hands on.”

At his words, you just, looked at him. And that look, quickly turned into a glowering one, and you pressed your lips together.

Did he think you were stupid?

You opened your mouth to give him a piece of your mind, when Jaz’s voice shifted your attention.

“Found it! And I-Woah…”

Jaz paused in her words, narrowing her eyes at you and Billy, the first aid kit in her hand, and she waited a moment, before she continued.

…Am I…interrupting something or…”

You could see her eyes where your hands were, on Billy’s chest, which you forgot was there, and you scrambled to remove your hands and answer her, and so did Billy, your voices reaching Jaz’s at the same time.

“-no,-”

“-Yes.”

Letting out an exasperated sigh, and rolled your eyes, signaling for Jaz to hand you the kit she found and she did, disappearing into one of the rooms.

You grabbed a bottle of the least expensive alcohol he had, which wasn’t very many, and took to cleaning Billy’s scars, each one causing him to grit his teeth and swear. After you patched him up, Billy insisted on staying on the couch.

“Are you sure you’re okay here on the couch? I could help you get to the bedroom,” you offered.

“Nah, I’m good,” he ran his hand over his face. “I just need to sleep it off.”

You didn’t know how he intended to ‘sleep it off’ but you accepted anyway.

“Okay well, let me get you a blanket, or something,” you got up and headed to his bedroom, before he could protest.

It took you a minute to actually find his bedroom, as the apartment was a large one. You noticed that what you saw outside of the bedroom, was exactly the same in the bedroom. There were no pictures, or anything lively about the room.

You walked in, finding Jaz rummaging through his drawers.

“Jaz, what you doing?”

She wasn’t startled, continuing her action.

“Nothing. I was exploring, and my hands just happened to find themselves here,” she said, and she muttered the last of her words under her breath. “Just like your’s found themselves on Billy’s-“

“Okay,” you stopped her, walking towards the drawer in the room. “One, that was nothing, and two, were not going through his stuff. I’m just gonna hand him a blanket and we’ll get out of here.”

She sighed at your answer, and frowned.

“Fine,” she dragged out, and walked up to another drawer on the other side of the room. “You know, you don’t make revenge easy.”

You continued looking for a blanket, which wasn’t easy to find, and it was like he didn’t have any. His drawers were mostly empty and bare, and your mind was pulled elsewhere, when you heard Jaz hum.

“Hm…”

“What is it?” You asked, with your back turned to her.

“There’s…a number here. A ‘Trish Walker’.”

You stopped in search at Jaz’s words, and turned to face her, as she looked down a small piece of paper, that looked like it was ripped from somewhere.

When you came closer, you could see the number written in pen, Billy’s handwriting, and underneath the number, ‘Trish Walker’ was scribbled.

“Where do I know that name?” Jaz inquired, as she put her finger on her chin, in thought.

You didn’t have to ask yourself. You knew the name. And the face, of the Tv star, having seen her at Anvil a few weeks ago.

You felt your heart sink a bit, a disheartening feeling coming over you, and you shifted on your feet.

“She’s-from that tv show from few years ago. You know, the one with the song,” you answered, as you walked back to where you were standing, continuing your search.

“Oh, yeah!,” Jaz snapped her fingers as the memory came back to her, and sang the highly recognized song from the show. You heard Jaz hum again, and she voiced her thought.

“Why’s he have her number though?”

You tried to hide the disappointment on your face, when you answered her.

“Beats me,” you shrugged.

You went back to searching for the blanket again, and after a about minute you finally found one, and you were about to head out of the room when Jaz’s words stopped you. She sounded entranced by something in her hand, when you approached her.

“Wow…”

“Are going through his stuff again?”

She quickly waved you off, denying it.

“No-I was, closing the bottom drawer and I found…a ring. An expensive one, too. It’s has to worth like, thousands.”

“A ring?”

When you came up next to her, your eye caught glance of the shiny diamond ring, the light that was reflecting of it, made the ring shine brighter. When Jaz handed it to you, you were actually certain that the ring was brighter than the light inside the room. It was in a tiny velvet box, which seemed to have collected dust.

The ring was really pretty, and it looked expensive. Very expensive. And as you stared at it, you thought about how it was just your style, something about it that you’d be drawn to. Clearing your throat, you quickly snapped out of the trance you were in, urging Jaz to return the ring where she found it, and walked out of the room.

Handing him the blanket, you retook your seat in front of him, a determination on your mind.

You couldn’t leave without some answers, and if he thought you were going to, he was very wrong.

“…we need to talk…”

“That’s never the start of a good conversation,” he sighed.

Shifting in your seat, you let out a breath, before speaking.

“Okay, first, I’m not stupid. I know you didn’t get those scars from any ‘training’, and two, how many nights have you shown up like this? You’re too calm about it, so I know it’s happened before, so don’t try to deny it.”

He turned his head towards the window, away from you, as he let you speak.

“And whatever happened tonight, I know, it’s nothing good.”

You heard him heave a sigh, and you continued.

“…Do you remember that night, when you asked me if I would ever run away with you? We were…laying in bed. After we…you know…-“

“Do you mean after we had that mind blowing sex? You’ll have to be more specific, cause there were a lot of those,” he commented, a smile curved into a smile.

“You know what I mean,” you said, rolling your eyes. “I thought you were joking, but now…I’m not so sure. So help me out.”

He sighed again.

“Y/N-,”

“Were you serious? About running away? Or Does wherever you came from tonight, have something to do with that? Or what you didn’t want to tell me the other day?”

You stared at him with wide eyes, waiting for an answer, any answer from him.

He sighed once again, and said nothing.

“Look if you…if you’re involved in something you’re not supposed be-or with someone…dangerous, maybe I can help you get out of it, or maybe work something out-

“Y/N,” he started, turning towards you, with a deadpan expression. “I am sorry that I got you involved in my shit tonight, I had no other choice and that’s bad enough, but I’m asking you…to let it go.”

Wow.

You eyes drifted away from Billy’s, down to the ground. You could feel the pain creeping up on you, and your heart hurt, at the sound of his words. You looked back up at him, your eyes glossy.

“Come on, don’t look at me like that-,”

“Did you really just ask me that?,” you asked, your voice low. “To let it go? I want answers, to why you were gone for so long, and you’re telling me to let it go-?”

“Y/N, that’s not what I meant-“

“And you had no other choice but to come to me? So I…I was your last choice to come to for help? When you were hurt, and-“

“No, that’s not what I’m saying,-“

“So I’m guessing you usually go to Frank or Curtis, for these things? What, are they on fucking vacation today, or something?”

“Y/N…,I can’t answer the questions your asking me, alright?” he shook his head, a grave expression painted his face. “I can’t.”

You looked at him, scoffing.

“…you can. You just won’t,” you spat.

You picked up your coat to leave, and you could hear Billy faintly calling your name, which you chose to ignore. You called to Jaz, and she followed you out the door.

…

“Y/N. Y/N!”

Billy called after you, and you sped up as you approached your office door, attempting to slam it behind you, when he caught it at the last second.

It had been a few days after Billy had shown up at your apartment, and you’d been ignoring him ever since. You really had no desire to speak to him since then. You found that, since he refused to answer your questions, you didn’t think there was any reason too.

You didn’t like the constant fighting that you had going on with Billy. You hated it. It made you sad to think that was all of what you did since he’d been back, compared to what the two of you used to be before.

In the past, the two of you hated whenever you would fight. Your fights would never last more than a few days, and even then, you were pushing it. After the two of you would have a couple hours to yourselves, you both would be scrambling to apologize to the other.

And you wished you were in the same situation as back then. When things were easier.

“I have nothing to say to you.”

You sat behind your desk, going through some papers, as Billy stood ahead of you, his hands by his sides.

“Can you please, hear me out?”

You sighed, and lifted your head from your papers, looking up at him, expressionless.

“Are you going to tell me the reason you showed up at my apartment, bleeding all over the floor?”

“I told you, that I cant-“

“Are you going to answer any of my questions?”

“Y/N-“

“Then no.”

He opened his mouth to say something, when a knock on the door made him pause, and you both looked towards it, and it opened shortly after.

Nick poked his head in, a smile on his face.

“Hey, Y/n. You ready for lunch?”

As you looked back at him, Billy’s head shot back in your direction, and his eyes narrowed.

“Yeah,” you replied, with a smile. “Just a minute.”

Nick replied with a smile and a nod, and he backed up and closed the door.

You got up from your seat and began to gather your stuff, as Billy stood in the middle of the room, frozen.

“You’re not serious,” he said, as he searched your face for any hint that told him you were joking.

Your only reply, was a sigh.

“You’re punishing me, that’s-that’s what you’re doing.”

“Billy,” you sighed. “What are you talking about?”

“You’re punishing me, by going out on a date, with him.”

“Not everything is about you, okay? I’m not going on a date with anybody. I’m going to lunch, with my friend.”

You moved and made your way around the desk, making it to the door, and attempted to reach for the handle, when Billy stood in front of you blocking you from doing so.

“That guy doesn’t want to be just friends, Y/n. I-I see the way that he looks at you-“

“The way he looks at me? What are you-?”

“Yes, Y/N! The way he looks at you, like he’s planning an entire fucking future with you in his head!”

You watched Billy as his nostrils flared, and he stared back at you, his mouth set in a harsh line.

“I’m leaving,” you moved to go around him, and he stood in front of you again.

“Wait,-just wait,” he started, and you stopped, annoyed.

He sighed, his eyes darting between yours, and he spoke, in a whisper.

“Look I, looked into this Nick guy, and I couldn’t find anything on him. Nothing about his life. Where he’s from, or-“

“Oh my god, you looked into him?!” You exclaimed.

“Yeah I did, and did you hear what I said? I couldn’t find a damn thing about him-“

“Maybe because he’s a private fucking person, Billy!”

“I’m just saying that I think that’s really fucking weird. Only someone with something to hide is that ‘private’,” he spat.

“Of course, you would know all about that, wouldn’t you?”

He sighed a deep sigh, and threw his head back at your response. He looked to the side and ran his tongue over his bottom lip, before looking back at you.

"Those answers you're looking for they're not...they're just going to make things worse," he breathed,

his eyes pleading with vou.

You looked up at him, your eyes pleading as well.

"Let me decide that for myself," you moved closer to him, hopeful, as your eyes darted back and forth between his, waiting for an answer.

Billy looked down at you with soft eves, and he ran them over your face, almost as if he was thinking. His gaze made it’s way to back up to your eves, and you didn’t see his face change, at all, when he made the decision he made next. His face stayed expressionless, and he slowly moved away from the door and out of your way, shaking his head, as he shrugged.

“I can’t.”

You didn’t move, just looking at him, disappointed. But he wouldn’t look at you, his gaze finding the ground. You scoffed, and breezed past him, as you left the room.

…

Nick was a good guy. A great guy. So you didn’t hesitate to accept his offer to lunch when he texted you this morning. And as you sat across from him at a table as he ate his lunch, you couldn’t help but steal a few glance at the man.

Great. Billy had put the thought in your head, and now you couldn’t stop thinking about it.

He also brought to your attention, that you didn’t know much about the man, and it was true. Yes, you went on two whole dates with the him, but knew nothing about him. Now that you thought about it, he had let you talk for most of those dates, and you barely picked up anything about him. You realized now, that it was bad manners on your part.

Nick had arrived at the company over nine months ago, and was one of the newest additions. What you did know about him, were the little scraps he gave up about himself, or what people at the office would talk about.

It was the only thing on your mind, and it was bothering you, so you let your curiosity get the best of you.

“…Hey, Nick?”

“Hm?” Nick looked up behind his glasses, his blue eyes appearing bigger behind them.

“Where are you…from? Or do you have any family? You just-you never told me when we went out, and you let me talk for most it,” you laughed. “I guess that’s kinda snobby of me…”

He furrowed his eyebrows, and a soft expression took over his face.

“No! That’s really on me,” he started, shifting in his seat. “Uh...I’m from, Chicago, I moved here a couple of years ago, and as for family…it’s not something that I talk about-much.”

“Oh…” you said softly, your face softening, and you suddenly felt bad, for trying to dig into his life, demanding answers.

You knew what it was like to have family be a soft subject.

“You know, forget it,” you laughed nervously, “you don’t have to explain anything to me, it’s none of my business, I’m sorry for-,”

“No, don’t apologize, it’s fine,” Nick waved you off. “I want to tell you.”

When he said that, his eyes gleamed, and you gave him a tight knit smile.

“…I have…a sister, but we had a falling out, and it didn’t end well.”

You watched him as he spoke, and he continued.

“And as for parents…uh-,” he cleared his throat, “they both…”

Catching his drift, your eyes softened, and your heart sunk, as a result of hearing his story.

You felt like an asshole. He really was just a private person, and here you were making him share something about himself that you barely shared, with anyone. Billy had put his paranoid thoughts in your head, and they got the best of you.

“I’m sorry. About your parents and your sister. For even asking-“

“Y/N, really, it’s fine. You’re good, really.”

You accepted his answer, and shortly after, Nick drifted the conversation.

“So…, I don’t want to overstep, but I was just curious,” he started, and you shifted your attention to him. “Is there something between you and that new guy, Russo?”

You paused, surprised by his words, and Nick noticed.

“Yeah, I kinda sensed there was something there. Is he your…boyfriend-or hopefully, ex…boyfriend?” He chuckled.

You grimaced at his words, and your face twisted.

“Was it that obvious?” You replied, grimacing.

“Well no, it’s just that, you guys are always together, always talking, and the way he looks at you…,” your eyes shot up to him, “actually now that I think it about it, it is a little obvious.”

“They way he looks at me…?”

Nick furrowed his brows.

“Well yeah, like he’s planning an entire future with you. I got the hint that he didn’t like me. Now I know why…” he joked.

You looked down at the table, biting your lip, before looking back at Nick to answer his original question.

“It’s…complicated,” you sighed, the tight smile finding itself back on your face.

“…is it complicated enough for you to…be my date to that fundraiser thing we have for the company this weekend?” Nick asked, his face hopeful.

You knew what your answer was before you said it. You were furious at Billy, but you weren’t going to be someone else’s date to something, while you were working things out with him.

“I think I’m just gonna go alone, this time,” you answered.

Nick looked disappointed, but he nodded, with a half smile on his face. A short while after, the two of you gathered your stuff to leave, and as you stood up, Nick bumped into your table, spilling a glass of water all over you.

It was so quick and sudden, and you didn’t even know how it happened, but he profusely apologized.

“I’m so, so sorry. That’s my bad, I ruined your shirt-,”

"Oh, it's fine! It's just water," you waved him off, "I'm gonna run to the restroom really quickly," you said, placing your phone that you had in your hand, on the table.

You went to the restroom and dried off as much water as you could, washing your hands before you left, and when you got back to the table, Nick was standing by it. You went to pick up your phone that you placed on the table, but you stopped at the last second, tilting your head in thought, puzzled.

That's not where it was when you left it. Right?

At least you didn't think so.

You were sure you’d out it on your right hand side of the table. but now…it was on the left side of the table.

Huh.

"Something wrong?"

Nick's voice pulled you out of your thought.

If you told him that you thought you left your phone on the other side of the table, and it wasn’t where you left it, he'd probably think you were crazy. So, you waved it off.

"Nothing," you smiled, following him out the door, as he led the way.

"Nothing at all…”

…

You pulled one of your hands from your coat pocket, and reached up to knock on the door, the loud sounds of running and laughter apparent behind the it.

You soon heard footsteps approaching, and when the door opened, you were met with a warm smile from the mother who hosted the play date Ava was so thrilled about all week, and you returned it.

“Hey! How was she?” You wondered, with a tight smile, hoping to get a good answer.

The woman smiled back you, at first, but it diffused into a worrying expression.

You spotted Ava behind her, and you smiled at her. She gave you a faded smile in return, and that quickly made your smile fade, wondering why that was.

“She was an angel, as always,” she added, reassuring you. “But um…she was a little sad, towards the end.”

“Oh…?”

As you spoke, Ava came over and stood by you, in front of the door, but now with a slight frown on her face, that didn’t go unnoticed by you.

“I tried to get her to tell me what was wrong but…she just wouldn’t tell me,” the woman shared, with a soft expression.

You looked down at your daughter, her expression having not changed, and you grew worried. It was unusual in her behavior to act this way. She was always so joyful, all giggles and smiles. Of course she got sad and upset sometimes, which was unavoidable, but you could tell that this, was different.

You thanked the mother, and waved her goodbye. On your short walk to your car, you stopped and got down to Ava’s level, trying to figure the cause of her sadness.

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong? You were so excited about going to Amy’s house all week, it was all you could talk about,” you added softly, your eyes set on her.

When she spoke back to you, her voice was nothing but a mumble.

“Nothing…I’m tired. Can we go home now?”

It was obvious that something was bothering her, her long face didn’t budge, but you took a deep breath and sighed, accepting her request.

“Of course we can,” you answered, holding open the car door, as she stepped inside.

You didn’t want to push her, but you didn’t stop trying to cheer her up.

The car ride was quiet, and you barely got a peep from Ava. You tried to make her laugh, making funny faces at her, and putting on her favorite song that the two of you loved to sing together. It didn’t do much, but you got a small giggle from her, which was a step up from nothing.

You even made her favorite dinner when you got home, which she mostly picked at. Even Jaz tried to help, but when nothing seemed to work, you couldn’t stand to see her like that anymore, so you were determined to find out what was on her mind.

“Okay,” you started, as you and Ava walked into her room. You moved to sit on her bed, as she stood in front of you playing with her hands.

“I made your favorite dinner, and I even hid the meatballs under the spaghetti how you like, so it’ll be like a surprise when you find them. And I offered you cookies, that you didn’t eat so I know, this is serious…”

You looked at her, and patted the space next you, which she understood and took a seat next to you. Ava sighed, looking down at her hands in her lap.

“…It’s just, today…everyone’s Mom and Dad came to pick them up today, like they always do. And…whenever you come to get me…it’s only you.”

With those simple words your daughter muttered, you understood what was bothering her, the reason why she was so down.

And your heart sank.

You knew this moment would come again, eventually. It was bound to happen again.

“What’s taking Dad so long?…Does he…not want to see me?”

Her voice was low, and you could hear the sadness in it, when she spoke. It broke you that she even thought that, even for a second.

“Ava, no,” you shook your head, getting down to her level, and kneeled on the ground in front of her.

“That’s not true. That’s not it, at all.”

Your words didn’t seem to have much effect, so looked at her, your eyes soft, and you said what you could at the time.

“…I know…that I haven’t told you much, but I can tell you about him? If you like?”

Ava tilted her head, thinking about it, before she nodded with a small smile.

You nodded as well, you sat back on her bed with her, as you prepared to tell her about Billy for the first time. She really didn’t know much about him, you barely told her anything, because you didn’t want her to get her hopes up, just for it to come crashing down on her.

But, right now, it hurt you, to see her hurt. And if easing her pain meant that you had to talk to her about Billy, it was a pill that you were going to have to swallow.

So that’s what you did.

“…Your Dad…is the best. He’s funny, and silly…. And he always, gave the best surprises.”

Her eyes lit up at your words, a giant smile on her face.

“Really?!”

“Yeah!” You answered. “And, it was always so, so hard for me to surprise him. He just always knew what was coming.”

She giggled, and you continued.

“And…he loves that pie that you like to eat, from the diner we go to? Maybe…even more than you do…?”

“That’s silly!” She exclaimed. “I love that pie!”

“I know, it’s crazy, but I think it’s true!”

You laughed and giggled along with her, and this went on for the next hour. Ava was so entranced, as she listened to you talk about Billy. She watched you, and her eyes lit up, just as they would when you would read her fairytale stories at bedtime, or when she was watching a movie she was interested in.

And as your conversation came to an end, you stepped out for a minute, and headed to your bedroom. Inside, you took out the shoebox that was underneath your bed, pulling out a picture of you and Billy.

It was different from the one Ava had seen before, and it was one of your favorites. Closing the shoebox, you went back to Ava’s room, where she waited, and you handed her the picture.

She studied the picture, for a few minutes. You surmised that she didn’t remember his face from the first picture she found a couple months ago, and your thoughts were correct.

“…I can get you a frame for it tomorrow, and you can keep it right here,” you gestured to her nightstand, and she couldn’t hide the smile that painted her face.

You watched as joy took over her face as she held the picture.

You knew that you needed to tell Billy about her. You didn’t know how, but you needed to. And soon.

“…you’re going to see your Dad…very, very soon.”

“Really?”

You looked at her, as she watched you with hopeful eyes.

“Yeah…,” you said, smiling. “I promise...”

…

Taglist:

@celestialams

@snowkestrel

@promnightbinbaby

@intothesoul