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[brumblebeard]

An autistic rant

I've nowhere else to put this. My partner listened and made comforting noises in all the right places but I need to rant it out some more.

I'm autistic.

I'm a cleaner. Yesterday I had a meltdown because the people who review our work have picked me again to pick on. In that every three or four months it rotates back to me. I go from no faults whatsoever to every room I do is a fail. See they have to find faults or their managers will want to know why. Because there has to be faults because no one is perfect.

So it doesn't matter. None of it matters if I'm a good employee or a bad one. If I spend every shift working flat out or standing there on my phone. It doesn't matter because they will find faults if its 'my turn'. Everyone is all ok with this system. They just put up with it. Even though its nonsense, illogical and arbitrary its just 'how it is'.

Thanks for listening.

[brumblebeard]

Seriously.

[brumblebeard]

Seriously.

[brumblebeard]

My new shirt arrives soon. If I had to describe my style I'd probably call it "awesome"

[brumblebeard]

this is the most relatable meme ive ever seen

[brumblebeard]

the lunch Ive had for the last 274 days in a row has started to taste like good. Gross.

[brumblebeard]

When I was young my mum told me that bad things happened to me to build character. Well I'm in my 40s now and I have so much character when I turn too quickly it sloshes out of my ears so...

[brumblebeard]

100 likes!

[brumblebeard]

In what used to be London...

... in what used to be Soho on what used to be Berwick street there stands a bookshop. It stands defiant of the war. It's unchanged from when the bombs fell, when the hordes from both sides finally met on the field of battle, from when the sky burned yellow as a snake's eye. Not so much as a smudge of ash can be found on its burgundy paint job. 

Inside are books. Piled high here and there but mostly in order. It looks like someone was restocking the shelves then gave up halfway through. Dust covered every surface and if spiders still existed spiderwebs too.  Near the window sitting bonelessly on a high backed chair holding a half drunk bottle of wine was perhaps the world's only remaining occupant.

The door creaked open. 

Perhaps. 

Armored footsteps carried the cloaked figure towards the sitting Crowley. It stopped three paces away. 

Crowley took a drink from his bottle. The label was faded but the date would have put its vintage at hundreds of years ago. If such things mattered anymore. 

The robed figure slowly raised its hand over its shoulder to the handle of a sword.

"Nk" Crowley said, not looking up, his throat clicked like it hadn't been used in a long while. He was looking out of the window towards the nonexistent view where an eon ago a coffee house had sat. "I think I've figured it out"

The hand hesitated but then grasped the handle and pulled out the blade finishing its arc pointing at the floor. It remained dead  for now but at any moment it would erupt into white hot fire.  

"The coffee shop. The two women. If only it had worked."

The sword came up in a blinding arc cleaving the chair in two missing Crowley, who was now leaning against one of the shelves, by a mile. 

"I can go back. Send my thoughts back to that one point but not to myself no no I'd resist but to one of them"

The figure kicked the remains of the chair aside and blurred toward Crowley inhumanly fast.

"It's risky" Crowley hissed from the doorway. "To send myself so far back there's no telling how much would remain. If I could just get them to meet"

The hooded figure bellowed with frustrated rage and ran towards the slim demon burning sword held high. It came down like the wrath of god and stopped. Held up seemingly without effort  by Crowley.

The demon's face rested inches away from the empty cowl of the cloak.

"Which is why I'm going to send us both," he said, tearing the hood away from his attacker. 

Aziraphale staggered backwards. His face was sunken and blank, lips twisted in a permanent snarl, his hair shorn to the root.   

“Hullo angel” Crowley said and strode forward grasping Aziraphale’s head in his hands and muttered a word from before time just as the burned sword pierced his chest and they fell together in the dust. There was a soft sound. The sound of a leaf falling from a plant and landing on the floor. The last green thing on earth began to die.  

The bookstore fell away. A white agonizing moment that lasted both no time and millennia and then a brief second of peace and then…

Nina shook her head, attention wandering as another customer rattled off their coffee order. Even though the day was progressing as it always did she nevertheless felt something in the back of her mind insisting that today was going to be a very important day indeed.

[brumblebeard]

[brumblebeard]

"BEHOLD"

The horde looked up at Aziraphale, his eyes burning with holy fire, his halo blazed serveral feet from his body. There was a flaming sword in his hand. He hurt to look at. Demon and angel alike shielded their eyes from the becon of light he had become. It occured to them, somewhat too late, that back in the bad old days when god would smite the unworthy they didn't do any of the smithing themselves they would hand off the responsibilty to someone else. The horde felt very unworthy indeed. "Where is he" Aziraphale boomed Crowley pushed aside the demons holding him and brushed the lapel of his coat "Follow my lead and we might all get out of this alive" he muttered.

[brumblebeard]

This may just be an autistic thing or hell even a me thing but... why does the protagonist want to "get back home" so bad?? Like oh no please I want to get away from all the magic and dragons and freinds and talking animals and where Im the chosen one and a cosy cottage in the woods to call my own.

PLEASE take me back to my world of 6am job starts,zoom meetings,morgage repayments,cancer,transphobia and the torys. PLEASE

[brumblebeard]

[brumblebeard]

Oak

[brumblebeard]

listen i know each actor brings their own spice to a role, but i just can’t take timothee chalamet’s wonka seriously 

where is the madness behind his eyes??? the malice??? the complete disregard for the laws of mankind and decency???

[brumblebeard]

For the longest time I didn't understand my countries (UK) politics. They televise the 'debates' from the house of commons and exchanges would go like this.

"Please...please help us. Children are dieing of poverty, our lakes and rives are full of literal shit, LBGT people fear for their lives, the poor exist on a knife edge of one missed paycheck from homelessness. Please"

-shouts and mutterings on both sides-

rhubarb rhubarb yes quite right mutter mutter

"Ah...well you see the right honorable gentlemen has failed to realize my very minor witticism I'm about to make. Ha Ha."

-sits back down to light laughter and more muttering-

AND THATS IT

Thats the matter dropped?! We're moving on now to the most recent rampant sex scandle where they will again just stand up and waffle then sit down. And its continued this way for centuries

Its BARBARIC!

[brumblebeard]

ur so hot when u infodump