#now im just inventing ways to hurt myself

[brumblebeard]

In what used to be London...

... in what used to be Soho on what used to be Berwick street there stands a bookshop. It stands defiant of the war. It's unchanged from when the bombs fell, when the hordes from both sides finally met on the field of battle, from when the sky burned yellow as a snake's eye. Not so much as a smudge of ash can be found on its burgundy paint job. 

Inside are books. Piled high here and there but mostly in order. It looks like someone was restocking the shelves then gave up halfway through. Dust covered every surface and if spiders still existed spiderwebs too.  Near the window sitting bonelessly on a high backed chair holding a half drunk bottle of wine was perhaps the world's only remaining occupant.

The door creaked open. 

Perhaps. 

Armored footsteps carried the cloaked figure towards the sitting Crowley. It stopped three paces away. 

Crowley took a drink from his bottle. The label was faded but the date would have put its vintage at hundreds of years ago. If such things mattered anymore. 

The robed figure slowly raised its hand over its shoulder to the handle of a sword.

"Nk" Crowley said, not looking up, his throat clicked like it hadn't been used in a long while. He was looking out of the window towards the nonexistent view where an eon ago a coffee house had sat. "I think I've figured it out"

The hand hesitated but then grasped the handle and pulled out the blade finishing its arc pointing at the floor. It remained dead  for now but at any moment it would erupt into white hot fire.  

"The coffee shop. The two women. If only it had worked."

The sword came up in a blinding arc cleaving the chair in two missing Crowley, who was now leaning against one of the shelves, by a mile. 

"I can go back. Send my thoughts back to that one point but not to myself no no I'd resist but to one of them"

The figure kicked the remains of the chair aside and blurred toward Crowley inhumanly fast.

"It's risky" Crowley hissed from the doorway. "To send myself so far back there's no telling how much would remain. If I could just get them to meet"

The hooded figure bellowed with frustrated rage and ran towards the slim demon burning sword held high. It came down like the wrath of god and stopped. Held up seemingly without effort  by Crowley.

The demon's face rested inches away from the empty cowl of the cloak.

"Which is why I'm going to send us both," he said, tearing the hood away from his attacker. 

Aziraphale staggered backwards. His face was sunken and blank, lips twisted in a permanent snarl, his hair shorn to the root.   

“Hullo angel” Crowley said and strode forward grasping Aziraphale’s head in his hands and muttered a word from before time just as the burned sword pierced his chest and they fell together in the dust. There was a soft sound. The sound of a leaf falling from a plant and landing on the floor. The last green thing on earth began to die.  

The bookstore fell away. A white agonizing moment that lasted both no time and millennia and then a brief second of peace and then…

Nina shook her head, attention wandering as another customer rattled off their coffee order. Even though the day was progressing as it always did she nevertheless felt something in the back of her mind insisting that today was going to be a very important day indeed.

[chemicalbrew]

achievement get (for the billionth time): take one look at an assignment and get severely overwhelmed AND discouraged for the rest of the day and do nothing

[exopelagic]

I wiped out so hard tonight my KNEES

[caputvulpinum]

this might seem dumb and i promise im being genuine here. im just kind of fucking stupid and i would appreciate a little reassurance if you have the time

am i a bad person for not being able to reclaim queer?

i have a lot of trauma with the word and people using it for me without my consent is really triggering. my abusers used it and other words as slurs while they were hurting me. ive been trying really hard to get over it, i promise, but when it's used against me i still like... have panic attacks and flashbacks. other people using it for themselves doesn't do that to me, it's just when it's used toward me.

does not being comfortable with it being used on me make me a TERF? in the past people have taken "please don't call me queer" as "nobody should ever use that word" and even though im trans, theyve told me it's TERFy not to use it? i absolutely support other people reclaiming it and i really am trying to get over myself, but the panic attacks keep happening and now i'm paranoid that im a bad person for not being able to use it

I think the biggest frustration I have with this whole thing is that a narrative has been created where people would tell you yes, Anon, that you are a TERF and so on. And that's just not the case.

Even beyond the fact that words mean things and TERF doesn't just mean "transphobia on tumblr", the fact is that there are always going to be people whose experiences with a word will never be able to be reconciled. I've said throughout this whole thing: Every word we have ever had for ourselves is a slur, because they have all, always, been used as slurs against us.

And what I mean with that is not just "So fighting against queer as a term is therefore transphobic for this and other reasons".

What I also mean is "We need to be aware that there will never be a perfect word. There will never be a word which has been harmless. There is no point in trying to invent new terminologies to escape ongoing oppression, because those terminologies will just be used against us in the same way all others are."

Anon, you aren't a bad person for having traumatic experiences with being called a slur. The idea of that is ridiculous, and I'm as sorry you've been made to feel that way as I am angry at the people who said that to you. Barely better than your traumatizers if at all, all of them.

But I want you to also hear what I am telling you. You have faced experiences which were traumatic for you. This word is one which is a weapon that can always be used against you, right now, and it will never miss its mark. Traumas do not exist in a vacuum: you can't let it keep festering in you.

Because it's like I kept saying as well...if you allow your oppressors to have the language that can harm you, they will use it. Queer is a word you can't use for yourself right now. That's okay. You are not a bad person for that. But traumas can't go untreated. I'd recommend looking into mental health resources for LGBTQ+ people in your area. Therapy works. At its most basic level, therapy would give you the vocabulary you need to express how this is a trauma of yours, and might even be vocabulary which better helps you understand why it remains so harmful for you. I hope for your sake that you can one day make a decision for yourself on this word that isn't being controlled on a traumatic level for you, even if the decision you make is "I still don't like it for me". Hell, especially if that's the decision you make. What matters, Anon, is that you decide what words you want for yourself, and not the people who traumatized you deciding for you.

[blitzyn]

payback

venti x m!reader

request : none

Synopsis: You thought that stealing the Anemo God's gnosis from him was going to be easy.

second part

a/n -> i accidentally slammed my fingertip against two pieces of wood it hurts so much omg -- but onto the actual fic. this is my first time writing noncon so if anything is inaccurate please let me know. and just a quick warning, i have no idea how to write venti because hes not my favorite character nor do i have him and i prefer writing more serious characters so i made this mainly to challenge myself. do not expect more venti fics in the future. im sorry if this is absolute dogshit lmao. i also dont condone non-con in real life, this is just a work of fiction

wc -> 3.3k

cw -> non-con, forced orgasm, anal sex, public sex, thigh-fucking, fighting, cum and spit as lube, harbinger reader, ooc venti :(, i believe in big dick venti argue with the wall, size difference, reader is taller than him but is the bottom lol, not beta read

Venti mindlessly hummed to himself, leaning his back against the rough wood of the large oak tree that stood proudly in Windrise. He had a relatively long day performing at Angel's Share, but, as much as he loved doing so, he wanted to spend some time by himself.

The tree he laid on was his favorite spot to relax in. The leaves created a comforting rustle within the soft breeze alongside the cheerful birdsong to invent a new symphony he enjoyed. He found that not one was the same, no matter how similar they sounded. It was akin to snowflakes fluttering down the sky during the wintry months; seemingly identical but always different.

It took him a moment or two to realize that the birds suddenly stopped chirping. He sat up curiously to look for them when he felt slightly uneasy. Like he was about to be —

"Woah!" he exclaimed as he jumped off of the tree branch. He was unable to discern what attacked him. The perpetrator was fast. But he was able to figure out that they used Electro as crackles of electricity lingered around the wood for a moment longer.

He was mid-air when they attacked again, sending large hands of the same purple electricity to each side of his body. He quickly created a ball of Anemo large enough for him to step on, jumping off of it just as the hands made contact with each other. They disappeared almost instantly.

He finally landed on his feet, head swiveling this way and that to find his attacker. He tensed and summoned his bow when he finally spotted them leisurely walking along the path to the tree and his statue.

"So you're Barbatos, huh?" you thoughtfully hummed. "I have to say, I'm a little surprised. I expected you to look... less outlandish."

"You say that but your outfit sings of blatant hypocrisy," he studied you. You walked elegantly, as if you had done this countless times before. You were dressed in uniquely formal clothing — like you were attending an important gala.

"Maybe so, but I'm not the god here, now am I?" you said. "I've heard of archons changing their appearances to better fit in with their people as citizens, but yours is quite disappointing."

You looked at his statue then back at him. "The entire city doesn't recognize you despite the painfully obvious signs in front of them. They're just plain stupid."

"Do not talk to my people that way as if yours aren't widely disliked-" he furrowed his brows before adding a title. "-Harbinger."

"If you are referring to the Fatui as 'my people', then you are sorely mistaken," you raised a brow. "I couldn't care less about them."

He sighed. "My apologies. I thought you would've at least found some solace with them since you've been exiled from your last one."

"They did not exile me," you corrected. "I did it on my own accord."

"Really."

You rolled your eyes with an annoyed exhale. "No matter. There is little use in arguing with one such as you."

He watched as dark purple hands covered your eyes. Electro crackled up to your wrists as you swiftly swung your arms together. The same hands from before appeared instantaneously to repeat your movements. They would've crushed him if he was anyone else, but he was able to dodge them just in time.

He quickly retaliated, but found that his regular arrows were unable to penetrate through your electricity. To be able to destroy them in such a way made him realize that you were at least ranked 5th. The sheer power of your Electro was capable of completely disintegrating his arrows and the ground when it made contact — it was obvious what it would've done to someone who didn't have either yours or Venti's fighting prowess.

One hand focused on your defense while the other attacked him with blinding speed.

He began to create his arrows with Anemo, the tips of his fingers glowing his signature teal as he forged them on the spot. Bits of electricity was swirled from your hand as it mixed in with his wind, though it lasted only for a second.

He jumped when the hand swiped at him from the side. He stopped his descent with an orb of Anemo, noticing the slightest hesitation in your movements as he did so. His eyes widened in intrigue. You were fighting him blind.

He jumped on several more platforms before he found himself directly above you, this time creating three arrows at one time. The whistle of the projectiles piercing the air alerted you instantly, your defensive hand shielding your body as the offensive one shot straight at him.

Venti was forced back onto the ground just as the large hole within your hand regenerated. He smiled to himself. Your speed and reaction time alone was a force to be reckoned with. He was going to have to put in a bit of effort, after all.

He drew his bow and ran up to you, ignoring the attacking hand to shoot his arrow at point-blank range. Although the hands covered the majority of your face, you seemed visibly surprised with his action. You quickly recovered to just barely dodge and replace one of your hands with a sword of pure Electro, swinging hard and fast enough to create an arc of electricity that carved a deep line into the ground.

You momentarily paused when a sharp, stinging pain erupted on your face. Your finger gently pressed onto a cut on your cheek, wincing as you realized that most of the pain was intensified by the swirl of Anemo and Electro. You frowned.

You recreated your offensive hand to begin your attacks once again, increasing your speed just the slightest bit. To an outsider, it would seem as if everything was a blur between the two of you. You raised your arms above your head and swung them down, your hands following suit. He used a strong arrow of Anemo to make a hole big enough for him to jump through.

He stood on a platform and recreated his attack from before, only this time, he forged far more arrows than before and shot them at you. As predicted, your defensive hand protected you from most of them before you realized that they were causing numerous holes.

You managed to dodge a few of them, but you were ultimately unable to keep up, forcing you to draw your blade once more. You slashed at the sky, destroying the remaining arrows with yet another arc. You heard a rustling to your right, and your stomach dropped.

You swung your sword as fast as you could, but alas, you were no true match for a god. He shot an arrow through your blade, rendering it completely useless. Before you were able to do anything, he twisted his body to roundhouse kick you.

You gasped for air, losing focus of your hands as they disintegrated. The ones on your face crumbled and revealed your eyes as they were met with Venti's. He had an arrow held up to your neck as he straddled you, pressing a hand on your shoulder to keep you down for good.

"I win," he grinned at your scowling expression.

"Hey!" he dragged the arrow against your skin for a second when you tried to summon the hands again. You kissed your teeth in annoyance.

"You're good, I'll give you that," he said. "But it was never enough to beat me."

"Just kill me already," you rolled your eyes. You seemed very relaxed despite your words.

"Kill you?" he parroted. "I'm not going to kill you."

You were very confused. You had just attacked him out of nowhere and now he's willing to spare you?

"But I'm not going to let you free without compensation."

"What are you going to do, then?" you questioned, warily watching as he slid down your body a bit to rest on your crotch.

Oh.

"I think you know."

Discomfort settled in your chest. "But first, I want to know something. Why did you attack me?"

"Why do you think a Harbinger would willingly fight a god?" you answered his question with one of your own. But he wanted to hear you say it.

"I dunno. There could be a multitude of reasons."

Your eyebrows furrowed. "I need your Gnosis."

He tilted his head. "Why do you need my Gnosis?"

"I do not question Her Majesty's requests."

"So... you don't know?"

You didn't answer him this time. But he didn't need your words now that he knows why you're here.

With a hum, he adjusted himself to kneel beside you as his fingers dipped below the waistband of your pants. He pulled them off and tossed them to the side, your underwear following close behind. He gazed at your bare legs as he undid his corset and tugged his shorts off.

You refused to see his dick, but the quiet, wet noises he emitted told you that he must have spat on it. His hands moved your thighs so they squeezed together as he began to push his dick between them. He sighed in content, relishing in the pleasurable sensation your plush flesh offered him.

He began with a steady pace that increased in speed after every thrust of his hips. You were quiet in discomfort, letting him do as he pleased if it meant you would leave faster. Besides, you still had a chance to take his Gnosis — all you had to do was not fuck it up.

You could feel the front of his thighs pressing against your ass as his cock rubbed against you. It was slimy with his saliva and warm and you absolutely hated it. It took a lot to keep yourself from outwardly cringing, but it seemed as if your efforts were for naught as he quickly noticed your disgust.

"What? Can't a Harbinger handle this?" he teased, slightly leaning over your knees.

"Not with perverts like you."

"Oh, woe is me!" he exclaimed. "But you must fulfill your end of the bargain. I do hope you understand."

"Bargain? What bargain?!" you shouted, accidentally tensing your thighs - much to his pleasure. He let out a moan-mixed giggle, forcing you to relax again

His face was flushed red as his cock hardened. You gently jolted up and down as his thrusts increased in fervor, your skin slick with saliva and pre-cum. His noises grew louder as he inched closer and closer to his orgasm, nails digging into your flesh.

He tossed his head back and moaned shamelessly as his cum spurted across your stomach. He fucked your thighs for a few moments longer before he let go of them, sighing contentedly.

You released a quiet scoff and sat up.

"We're not done, yet," Venti forced you back down, scooping his cum off the fabric of your shirt before most of it seeped through. He jerked himself off for a brief second before prying your legs open.

You looked at him in concern, eyes drifting downwards. You tried to close your legs at the size of his cock. He was big. Bigger than you thought for someone of his short stature.

You flinched when he spat a thick glob of saliva on your hole.

"Wait—wait. I can give you Mora instead." you attempted to entice him with a suggestion.

"Tempting offer," he didn't seem interested.

"Then what do you want?"

He looked up. "Why are you so nervous? Surely, you're not a virgin, are you?"

You chewed on the inside of your cheek. "No."

"Really? You sure are acting like one."

"I just haven't done... this..." you trailed off.

"I suppose it's to be expected," he hummed. "A Harbinger like you doesn't seem like the type to be on the bottom."

You swallowed hard.

"But don't worry. I'll make this memorable."

He used a hand to guide his cock to your entrance, forcing his way inside with a groan. You tensed, attempting to bite down your pained cry by gritting your teeth. You tried to kick him away, but he simply took hold of your ankle and pushed your leg to your chest.

It felt like he was splitting you apart with each agonizing inch. He intently stared at you, watching your face as it morphed from nervousness to fear then to distressed and pained. You struggled to free your legs from his grasp, but your efforts were futile as he tightened his grip enough to numb the spots he held.

You tried to use your Vision, your wrists crackling with electricity. Venti quickly reacted and shoved the rest of his dick inside you. You cried out, losing focus of your power. A burning sensation emanated from your hole that was given little time to settle as the god began to thrust.

He set a fervent pace, uncaring of your agonized grunts and whimpers. The pain was dizzying. It mixed in with the strain he placed on your leg to push it close to your torso. The slight fold of your body put enough pressure on your chest to limit some of your breathing, which was an increasing worry since he fucked you hard enough to force the air out of your lungs.

Despite his small body, he was capable of easily towering over you. As the burn finally faded away, you were able to recognize shocks of anger coursing through your body at the sight of his cerise-tinted cheeks and small smile. His mouth was slightly ajar to release moans and pleasured sighs, and you longed to shove your sword down his throat.

Your anger was amplified as the tip of his cock began to press up against your prostate, the undertones of shame ever present. You bit your lip hard enough to draw blood in order to conceal your noises, but your slowly hardening cock relayed more than enough information to him.

His turquoise eyes squinted as his smile grew.

"Look at you," he placed a leg on his shoulder. "You're — ah — enjoying this."

"No I'm n–not." Your breathy voice was a complete contrast to your words.

"There's no point in resisting it any longer," he wrapped a hand around your cock to begin stroking it. He fanned the flame of ecstasy within your abdomen, spreading the heat throughout your body. The sudden tighten of your hole had Venti faltering, his hips jolting forward arrhythmically as he came with a loud moan.

You could feel his cock throbbing, prompting you to start uncomfortably squirming in place. Well, as much as you could. The two of you sat in silence until he let go of your ankle and leaned forward to tuck a hand underneath your back to move you close to him. In a swift movement, he lifted you both up from the floor.

Surprised, you wrapped your legs around his waist as he walked towards his statue. You only realized he took you there when the cold stone permeated through your shirt, looking up instinctively. You grit your teeth. Was he provoking you? Rubbing in the fact that you lost your battle?

Your eyes were met with his cheeky grin, which slowly washed away into something more focused as he started to thrust again. You were a bit surprised, but you suppose you shouldn't underestimate a god's stamina. Even then, over-sensitivity should begin to settle in, now. This could be your chance.

He kept up the fervent pace from before, though this time, the new angle allowed him to brush up against your prostate with better accuracy. You knew he wasn't trying to make you feel good, so you muffled your noises with your hand in fruitless resistance.

Skin slapping and Venti's shameless moans echoed throughout the vast plains. You felt almost unbearably hot with the closeness of your bodies and you began to wish you were granted a Cryo Vision to cool yourself off. But he wouldn't allow the use of anything, so you guess it wouldn't make much of a difference either way.

You let out a startled yelp when his hand wrapped around your throbbing cock, jerking you off in time with his thrusts. A sensation akin to electricity ran up and down your spine. You noticed that he began to whimper a lot more frequently, and with the way he slowly lost the rhythm in his thrusts, you knew he was close again.

And you were too — as much as you hated to admit it. You could feel the heat in your stomach amplify with each passing second.

"You're so tight," his voice sounded a bit strained. "You're about to — ah — cum, aren't you?"

"You're," you paused with a quiet curse. "delusional."

"Don't lie to yourself," is all he said before he sped up his hand, forcing ragged pants and soft moans you couldn't hide behind your palm. As if taken over by the haze of lust, you buried your face within his hat, tightened your legs around his waist, and wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

With nothing to conceal your moans, they mixed in with Venti's in an erotic symphony. You tensed and arched your back as the pool of arousal in your abdomen amplified until it completely washed over you. Your cock spurted cum over both of you as he continued to jerk you off until he was satisfied.

Luckily, it didn't take too long for him to finally orgasm for the third time. A bit of his cum spilled out of your hole despite his dick still inside you.

His eyes were tightly shut, overcome with bliss and ecstasy. You were able to recognize the opportunity he accidentally gave you. Ignoring the slight burn he forced on your dick as he continued to stroke you, you reeled your free arm back as much as you could before jabbing it straight in his chest.

There was a bright teal light that shone where you plunged your hand. Everything felt airy — and a little strange — until you managed to find something solid. Quickly grabbing it, you removed your hand. Weakened, he was unable to hold the both of you up.

You forced your legs down as soon as you felt his grip on you falter, watching him fall to the ground. He was visibly surprised as he stared at you with wide eyes full of disbelief and a bit of anger.

Not wasting any more time, you enveloped yourself with electricity, retrieved your missing clothes, and left.

—•—

You sighed in exhaustion after finally finding a safe place to rest. Leaning against a large tree, you put your underwear and pants back on. You grimaced hard as more of his cum began to leak out of your hole, skin crawling in disgust. But you would need to endure it until you found a suitable body of water or got back to Snezhnaya. Out of both of them, you preferred the former.

You looked at the god's Gnosis in wonder. It was small and you turned it around to fully examine it. It was mainly teal but had silver designs and what seemed to be a crown. It reminded you of a chess piece.

Sighing yet again, you tucked it in a pocket and began making your way to the spot that was going to transport you back to Snezhnaya.

Despite knowing there was nobody to watch you and Venti, there was an anchor of shame weighing in your chest. No matter. You just need to make sure nobody knew of what had transpired in Windrise.

Besides, you would gladly shave off bits of your dignity and pride if it meant pleasing Her Majesty. Especially after she had taken you in many years ago.

Trying to will away the shame, you repeated a phrase in your mind.

Anything for the Tsaritsa.

cross-posted on ao3

[beesmygod]

i had this typed up for my newsletter im working on lol. i solved one of my health mysteries. tl;dr: food allergy

---

having a completely fucked up sleep schedule goes hand in hand with having a fucked up food schedule, which means my last meal is when the sun comes up and i dont get hungry until late in the day. any attempts to break this pattern risk waking up ravenously, eating-raw-meat-out-of-the-freezer hungry in the middle of what was supposed to be my sleep cycle. i do whatever the opposite of torpor is. i invented a worse way of mammalian living. do NOT steal.

so anyway, every night before i go to bed, i would fill my empty tummy with a delicious peanut butter and strawberry jelly sandwich. this is because strawberry is the tastiest, most accessible jelly. let me explain: when you go to a diner and search through the little jelly basket with all the jellies in it, you will see these flavors and these flavors ONLY!!! (ranked by deliciousness):

strawberry

orange marmalade

mixed berry

the putrid concord grape

orange marmalade is a distant second to the only good jelly on this list. i like strawberry jam.

in the mornings, i started eating special k cereal (red berries, again, the only good one) hoping the vitamin c would cure whatever was causing me to feel so fucking sick and miserable on a daily basis. every day i would wake up exhausted and every night i would go to bed in terrible pain from my entire chest down. it was hard to explain my symptoms outside of just feeling like total shit generally. to be honest, i thought it was just the result of bad living. my chest was often tight but i attributed this to how freakishly tense my body is from years of letting anxiety run ramshod over my brain and body. ive had this problem for over a decade.

recently, i went on vacation for a few days to d.c. with my boyfriend, adam. on the evening of the second day, as we shared a plate of fried chicken livers as romantically as possible, i told him, "i feel so good. this is the best i've felt in a long time!". and i really meant it. the rash on my face had cleared up significantly, my stabbing chest pain i had attributed to heartburn/dying was gone, and best of all, i felt like i could breathe. my chest no longer felt like it was being crushed and my lungs didnt feel like they were sticking together instead of inflating. my legs didnt even hurt as much when i walked, which seemed like a massive achievement to me.

i came home from d.c. late in the evening and returned to my nightly ritual sandwich. that's when i noticed, for the first time ever (now that i was unburdened with terrible pain elsewhere), that my mouth was burning and tingling in a way that might be textbook anaphylaxis.

i thought back to the time when my sister told me she liked the taste of bananas but they were too spicy for her. and how i laughed at her and said "what the hell are you talking about", which in turn lead to the discovery of her birch allergy. i also thought back to high school when i suddenly started feeling very ill, tired, and weak almost every single day. but i would still *~bravely~* find the strength to go into work nearly every day. i would be sooooo hungry by the time i got to my job immediately after getting out of school and wouldnt get to eat until i got home at 9pm. so i would commit a little corporate theft and eat some sample sized special k (red berries) intended for patrons. hmm. a pattern is emerging.

now i have an epipen and blood work being processed by a doctor who expressed mild horror at how frequently i was dosing myself with a little bit of near death experience just for delicious strawberries. as it turns out, you feel a lot better once you stop poisoning yourself on a daily basis. at no point did i ever think i was going to die from any of my various problems despite having every symptom that obviously points at a reaction. i dont know. i thought i just rolled some bad genetic dice and got stuck with the shitty body lol.

i did sort of eat the rest of the sandwich tho. it was good. no ragrets

[orbitfalls]

AAAAA HELLO CAN YOU TELL ME ABOUT OUT OF ORDER?!?! 80k is SO exciting

YESSS OFC I WILL LOVE!!! and aaaa yes 80k im so proud of myself!!!! out of order is my first ever fic (still a work in progress but she's grown quite long lately heheh!!) so it has a very special place in my heart<33 i definitely do feel like i've improved a lot since i started writing it, but i think that progress is a good thing yk<3

it's wolfstar- and jily centered, or at least it started out that way, but Pandora and Barty lowkey started taking over the story as i got progressively more and more invested in their characters. The plot itself is still about wolfstar and jily, and they're still the MCs, but half the chapters are just pandora and barty being icons at this point😭 then barty and lily started flirting and i was like, WOW, HOLD ON, WE'RE GETTING WAYY OFF TRACK HERE so i invented ✨east of eden✨ to let my inner demons unfold (and east of eden has now become my favourite to write, unsurprisingly). this is also essentially how i got into shipping bartylily lol<3

oh and look at that, i've already gotten off track in my own rambling again... let me tell you about out of order!!

it's a boarding school AU, and a muggle AU with a modern setting. the concept is that sirius and james are your standard it-boy roommates and have been for the past several years (peter erasure:( didn't much like his character when i started writing it and it's too late to change it now), but the story starts off with remus transferring to their school and being assigned to their dorm, which starts a bunch of drama, because remus is a rather famous influencer. The Thing is, though, that wolfstar used to be very close, but a Big ThingTM happened two years ago which sparked a HUGE conflict between the two of them that no one else knows about, and which would be a huge scandal for Remus' career if it ever got out. the whole thing's very dramatic and tense, and there's a bunch of drama happening on the side lines while the story unfolds. i'm adding a little snippet below that's really not that little because i just can't shut the fuck up. it's set at mary's birthday party, narrated by an ecstasy-tripping remus lol<3

(forever pushing the albino rosier twins agenda btw)

As Remus trips through the tightly packed dance floor, even the familiar of faces distort and disfigure, napes growing fingers that stretch through tinsel-decorated locks of hair and eyes that are too wide, or too round, or just misplaced in general. Mostly, they're brown, or green, or blue. Some are heavy-lidded, some are red around the edges, some have dilated pupils. Pandora's eyes have a sort of reddish purple shade. They're the type of eyes that are round and sort of puppy-like, with a little space of white that droops below her irises as if she's always looking up. She's traced them with eyeliner that stands out against the pale surface of her skin, and when she smiles, gentle creases form under her platinum bottom lashes. "Remus." Her voice sounds like she's speaking through a shallow body of water. Her eyes look like little purple suns. Remus sees them rise and fall over the horizon and imagines how his lifespan shortens by another day every time they move. He imagines how ancient she must be. This is why you shouldn't do ecstasy in the bathroom, he supposes. He blinks. She's looking at him still. He blinks again. "Aren't you supposed to hate me?" "Hate you?" Her head tilts to the side. There's something faintly unsettling about the way her features bend with her emotions, not a cold and motionless face like Regulus' or a vivid display of dramatics like Sirius', but some third and different option entirely. "I don't do that much. Why do you think I should hate you?" Remus shrugs. He's sort of forgotten. "I don't know. Aren't you Regulus' girlfriend?" "Certainly not," she laughs. "Regulus is family. Sure if you'd hurt him, I'd hurt you, but I wouldn't have to hate you to do that." She says it easily, not the trace of a threat in her tone. She's quite a small girl, smaller than both Lily and Regulus - still, Remus' intuition tells him that he'd be in deep trouble if she ever decided she wanted him to be. Remus sways slightly. The song changes and more people press onto the dance floor; he feels the pulse of the wood under his feet. It beats in sync with his own pounding head. Pandora smiles, and Remus watches her eyes crease. She says, "But Regulus isn't the one you damaged, at the end of the day, so I hold nothing against you." She's got a pretty voice, softspoken and a little deep for a girl, with a posh finality to the details of her words. She pronounces them properly, pierced lips moving around each syllable like she's blowing bubbles through a piece of gum: Certainly. Pop. Regulus. Pop. Sure. Pop. "Oh," Remus says. He feels like a tree in the wind. "That's good." Pandora laughs. She reaches out a small hand, fingers heavy with silver rings. There's one on her middle finger, shaped like a snake. It hisses at Remus. "Come, let's go to the others," it says. Pandora's hand is sort of warm, but also sort of cold, like when you put your hand into water so cold it seems to ignite your skin.

[sundragon]

literally one per one what that person said is no different than anti trans talk but also.. I genuinely don't see what's the difference between what they said and if it was species not gender

" Trans people dont "just identify as (gender)", they ARE that gender, Im a man(atleast rn), factually a man, sure my sex isnt a man, and me getting surgeries wint change my sex but the argument isnt about my sex but my gender, and factually my gender is male "

To

" Transspecies people dont "just identify as species", they ARE that species, Im a shark(atleast rn), factually a shark, sure my genes isnt a shark, and me getting surgeries wint change my gened but the argument isnt about my genes but my species, and factually my species is shark "

I just don't see a difference to why one is okay and one isn't without using the same phrasing that anti transgender people use?

yeah... I used to think the same way, and it doesn't hold up under honest scrutiny. It really is just a dishonest fear of being seen as a Freak. "I'm not like those people! I'm normal! I'm like you! I won't make you feel confused or uncomfortable! I'm normal! I'm normal!" yells the tiny idiot in their soul. I found the one in mine and ate it, life has been better since.

I will continue to trans my gender and species regardless. I hope generations in the future, our descendants get the body mods we deserved but couldn't live to see. \o/

Side-note, but this attitude has in part contributed to the rise in "p-shifters/holothere/lycanthropic/insert whatever More Nonhuman Than You label here" posturing that's so prevalent here now. Too many people are drawing these hard lines where species is concerned, out of respectability, so those of us who are physically nonhuman feel like we have to re-invent the wheel and distance ourselves from therianthropy and otherkind in order to look and feel legitimate in our nonhumanity, when that's just not the case.

I'm a therianthrope, as in a lion raised to be human and learning for the rest of my life how to reclaim myself while being at peace with my circumstances. I'm transsexual, as in a male raised to be a female and learning for the rest of my life how to reclaim myself while being at peace with my circumstances. Acknowledging one doesn't take away from the other, and it doesn't hurt people who have different life experiences than I do. We are all freaks, unfortunately, but the only reason that's a bad thing is because it makes you a target. It isn't fun, but they won't make it any better by trying to shift blame to the, in their minds, undesirables.

[bnnuy-wabbit]

I'm feeling things and saying my goodbyes so I'm going to post about it. In fact i will be Going in like 4 hours now (wow 4 hours...) and I managed to grab this one friend to say goodbye. When i saw him the last time a few days ago i think we were both expecting it to be the last time. "we should grab lunch together before you go." then we didn't. then i sent him a message today asking about it and he didn't reply until it was late. but it's fine. really is. i figured he'd reply later, so i waited at the library for a little bit and indeed! he replied "i can walk you home, if you'd like." and i asked him to help me packing even though I'd already packed, i just wanted his company.

"what were you doing at the library?" oh, you know. i just had lunch, i stopped by because i always do. (i lied. i knew he'd reply sooner or later. i wanted his company. i wanted to say goodbye.) and we didn't talk further about it.

then we walked home. soon to not be home. we chatted. something about missing childhood, something about alien apex predator vampires, something about my roommates girlfriend (she's annoying).

i really like him. not in a romantic way, not in a sexual way either. he's just a nice friend. he's cool, he has funny subjects to talk about and our talks are always wild but... it's kinda weird. he's really pessimistic! its really weird like Also as a depressed person to talk to people who just think everything is bad all the time, that the world is out there to get you, that nothing will ever get better, that humanity is fucked. we talked about hope, today. or the lack thereof. "i hope i find something to make life worth it when I'm older" and i don't really get it! why do you need to find a Grand Something for life to be worth it? Isn't it just alright to exist? I personally am not one for grandiosity, myself. i don't care about leaving a big mark as long as somebody somewhere remembers me over something nice i did, as small as it was.

im an optimistic person. i try to be even if i go through some Bad Patches sometimes. I've tried playing doomed before and it made life horrible. i like enjoying things, i like the beauty of the world, i like LIKING things. i don't think i need a lot, just things to make life Enjoyable. i can see it when the cup is half empty, but i know that the fridge is right there and i can fill it eventually. i don't really get pessimistic people! i know sometimes people are terrible (and i always say i don't like people! i really don't usually. it takes me ages to trust someone) but i like believing maybe just MAYBE there's good people out there. that not everybody is out there to hurt me. it always takes me aback when people i genuinely LIKE ask "why are you nice to me?" i don't have a reason not to be! "why did you wait for me?" i enjoy your presence so i waited for you! "why are you so patient with me?" because something tells me you can do better! and they always do! a lot of people for some reason just don't trust like that, it seems.

so it's really weird to have this person i really like in my house for the last time (he's the one that came here the most), he tells me he's lonely and he's anxious and he's depressed and that he's been lonely, i tell him we're the same. i tell him to look forward that future will be brighter and he asks why. because! that's it. because. i know the world's been shit lately. i read the news too. but in a way it's always been like this. the world constantly changes, but it's always been the same. we've been harming since we found out how to harm things, before we even invented tools. but dude, things always get better, you just need to look for it. we talked about love. i told him about my first kiss (it was horrible) and we both laughed about it, he didn't go in detail about his. he said he's ashamed. "I'm ashamed about a lot of things." I'm aware. its fine. it wasn't perfect, but when are things ever? it leaves funny stories to tell.

anyways, I'm not trying to get anywhere with this. i need to go take a shower, so i led him outside and i hugged him (and wish id held on for longer, god i fucking wish i could hug people forever sometimes). I'll miss you, i really will. "I'll miss you too". you better. please don't isolate yourself.

[spitrine]

I am essentially deeply protective against displaying any real semblance of joy or desire or interest other than the poopy/safe/acceptable kind where I hate myself TM or wish for some angle towards an invented perfection (really all i mean is equilibrium, gettin good gut flora, as a friend has said). all feelings and sentiments are fine in their prefab'd states and before people decide what they're gonna do with/about the feelings. But uhhhhh. I do get so tired of the alienation narratives and the ooo so desirous that i killed/hurt someone narratives. Again, not inherently bad, but just rlly clogged up by the sight of those lately. of course, some are still great and intense and have something raw or intense about them that i just can't categorically write off, but the way these sentiments proliferate just sours me to them. I get suspicious of what these things are supposed to mean and do to us when they grow to an obvious cultural level.

bleeeeeeeeeehhhnyways

I have only gotten more protective bc of school.

but lately i keep feeling like ill die anyway so why not barf everything everywhere without regard for surveillance

the internet I rode on used to be so full of faces. now all the faces are concentrated on things I don't use anymore. Everywhere else people are trying, for good reason i guess, to be internet literate/safe. idk. i wasn't built to be whatever makes a person decide that. once again i think id rather be stupid

I feel the need to specifically not give a shit about what of me is splayued out. its making the art bad. im being too uhh...not snooty... what is it... stingy. too stingy with the guts. we'll see.

[galaxycatxx]

feeling so pathetic to be here, to be writing this shit, to be feeling this bad.

i knew it from the very first beginning. why am i so sad? why am i crying? i mean, what? i thought that somehow you would´ve created this urge feeling to take control of your life?

Im living in a constant fantasy that i am creating in my head and truly honestly i CANNOT BLAME YOU! I havent been feeding it, you never have! If it was up to you, my fantasy would starve. POints to u for that, actually. I am being dumb. A dumb bitch. Always thought i was Maddy but clearly been being a Cassie. A fucking dumb bitch. I am so sorry for all the pain that im causing to this woman. I dont know if she feels it or knows it, but, trutly, i am sorry. i love the one thats is by your side right now and that doesnt justifies it. at all. but i do. And i truly am sorry. i hope you never find out about this not beacuse im afraid of the consequences but because i dont you to feel this pain. Im sorry.

and in the name of sorryland, i am sorry for myself too. sorry that i am so fucked up up here in my head that i still dont think that humilating myself 3 times (three fucking times) still isnt enough for a goodbye au revoir. i dont know why im like this. but its a dumb way to live.

JUst not as dumb as being in love with u.

I wish, and i hope, but i gotta be honest. its all just wishes and hopes. Not a trully feel of "we´re gonna make it".

i probably will humiliate myself one more time asking you again, what are you willing to do?

look at you boy, i invented you

the cicle is always the same. I give in. You push me closer. we connect. we feel something that is beautiful, and amazing, and its an unexplainable conection. the really kicks in. we grow apart. we miss each other. i give in. you push me closer. we connect. we feel something that is beautiful, and amazing, and its an unexplainable conection. the really kicks in. we grow apart. we miss each other. i give in. you push me closer. we connect. we feel something that is beautiful, and amazing, and its an unexplainable conection. the really kicks in. we grow apart. we miss each other. i give in. you push me closer. we connect. we feel something that is beautiful, and amazing, and its an unexplainable conection. the really kicks in. we grow apart. we miss each other. i give in. you push me closer. we connect. we feel something that is beautiful, and amazing, and its an unexplainable conection. the really kicks in. we grow apart. we miss each other.

and it never ends.

up untill now.

i need to say goodbye.

i need to put a dot on it. i know your state of mind. you´ll stay like this for a while yet. and i just cannot keep hurting myself waiting for you to open your chest and just admit what you want.

i am also sorry for you, cause i knwo youre in pain, and i sympathize. honestly. now i know exactly what you were feeling. this fear of accepting waht you want and owning it. its scary as fuck. and for that, i am sorry that you didnt had profesisonal help earlier that would have aligned with mine and the timing would agree. i think its going to take you a while to see all this huge picture of your life, and honestly you´re fire! in all the kinds of ways. youre amazing. but either you take me in and we´ll be fire together, or, i burn myself - again -. And im sorry but i dont think i can take another one. It just hurts too much.

why? why are we always late for each other? 2020 i was unvailable. and when i got free, you got into this relationship.

maybe we´re just a few pages on each others lives. meant to just exist in the story. but not to be the story.

[sweatermuppet]

do you happen to have a transcript of that ideation poem? id love to give it a read but all I can find are videos and im Deaf. if you don't have a transcript, don't worry about it!

ideation by sam sax

I tried to jump in front of the L train, a week after that man was elected. I can't explain it. It's like my brain was an electric rail, vibrating, or my skull, its own train car. Loud, hurtling, hurt object caught between one stop and the next. And in that moment, all I wanted was quiet. Was for the small God of that Manhatten bound train light to swallow me. So I stepped out over the ledge into our impossible, ghost shit darkness, just to feel a hand grip my jacket, pull me back onto land. "Careful, kid. Careful. You almost went all the way in." All the faces on the platform were like mine, were like sunflowers bent to the ground in mourning. Or, alternatively, were joy rats, were businessmen in expensive suit jackets laughing into headpieces about what money can be built off suffering. Today, I can't—I can't explain it. I mean, it's not like this is my first time trying to die. I'm a grown up. I've had a long life of not wanting to be alive. Trying to extinguish myself like a lit match again and again only to find the casket filled with gasoline. The first time, I was nine, hurled my forehead into a corner of a solid oak table. Loud, hurtling, hurt object. It's just been—a long time. Now I pay my rent, my insurance. I facilitate writing workshops about staying alive. The term ideation comes from popular psychology. It is an abbreviation of suicidal ideation. Means imagining yourself ending yourself. After that man was elected, I saw my body dying ahead of me everywhere I went. Thrown in front of busses, forehead split against a police barricade, hurled from the lip of a bridge. I can't—I can't—I can't. Maybe it's time for a more inventive kind of ideation, like, free milkshake ideation. Or, no prisons ideation. Or, a future where my friends sprout wings and grow a crown of flames. Maybe we don't have to explain it. Maybe this life is just a train caught between stations and our friends are the people we're lucky enough to ride with. I have been so lucky. I have always had a hand there to pull me back from falling all the way into my own darkness. Dear friends, I'm learning to be more careful, I promise. Dear death, if I end me, it won't be like this. Hurled sloppy across four lanes of traffic. Naw. I'll be a storm gathering her gowns at the Whitehouse. I'll be a kitchen knife against that man's neck. I'll be slow. I'll be patient. I'll be... serrated.

[mde1011]

when i got into the dsmp i started a note and wrote down any quotes or moments i thought were funny, and im bored at 3 am so enjoy some of them

how is being arrested real? just walk away!!!”

⁃ “once an american always an american. go...go protests masks...or something”

⁃ “...yEAH BUT DID YOU HAVE WAP” “what’s...whats wap?” “...WORSHIP AND PRAYER”

⁃ “HOW DO YOU LIKE POLITICS MOTHERFUCKER”

⁃ “i’m naked” “...no you’re not” “i can be...”

⁃ “uhhhh i’m in a high stress situation....i deal with these poorly”

⁃ “i should go first i’m naked”

⁃ “yEAHHHH WE KILLED AN OLD MAN WITH HEART PROBLEMS”

⁃ “what are you going to do?” “i...have no idea i think i’m gonna start out by punching a tree”

⁃ “tOmmy...did i just hear you say shit ass looking mofo?”

⁃ “i aM gOinG to gEt nAkeD to iNtiMidAtE HiM”

- “...i want freedom !” “you want BALLS.”

⁃ “...down the line. yeah that’s where we discover the art of cannibalism” “oh it’s an art?” “it’s an art”

⁃ “oh there’s some logs here. wonder what they’re saying to me. uh huh. uh huh. oh yeah that’s very racist” “tommy you gotta burn those logs.” “burn ‘em before they spread their racism to other logs”

⁃ “are you pooing?” “*whisper* i’m charging up-““ “he’s ejaculating on the tent.” “he’s WHAT?”

⁃ “he’s sPEEDING. LOOK HOW FAST HES GOING” “i’ve taken so many drugs. someone tell badboyhalo”

⁃ “we should make a pact. and that pact is, uh, we make a book...and in that book...we declare that saying ‘muffin’ is a, is a slur”

⁃ “i was thinking what if one day your bladder just,,,,stopped working.....AGGGFFFFF i was tHINKING ABOUT THAT THE OTHER DAY IVE GOT TO PREPARE IVE GOT YO PREPARE thisiswhydiapersaintthatbad”

⁃ <sapnap> i think i was ordered to um

<tommyinnit> boobed

<sapnap> kill you

<tommyinnit> boobs

<sapnap> if this happens

<tommyinnit> think about boobs man

<sapnap> tsk tsk tommy

<tommyinnit> iM DISGRUNTLED

⁃ “why is this deadman so good at making drugs”

⁃ “i just learnt that a girl hero is called a heroine and it freaked me out”

⁃ “memento memento me-“ “that’s actually the worst word i know so you can’t keep saying that” “oh, really.....? have you ever heard the term ‘racist’?”

⁃ “the person who invented the phrase ‘be yourself’ hadn’t met you!”

⁃ “you seem like the type of guy whose dad would throw him overboard as a joke but he would just drown”

⁃ “shout out to dream for twerking!”

⁃ “let’s talk......let’s talk about sex” “wonderful. what do you think about sex, lazarbeam?” “i ain’t saying SHIT in front of a sixteen year old”

⁃ “what the- i think i’m seeing things” “....tommy i told you not to drink the sea water” “well i DID drink the sea water because it TOLD ME TO”

⁃ “it’s like the movie when that guy gets stranded on an island and has sex with a coconut” “whAT?? dream- dream, you vastly misinterpreted this” “it one hundred percent does”

⁃ “oh mastICATE.....isn’t that when a fish turns inside out?”

⁃ “what are some bad words YOU know, clay?” “i don’t-“ “what about ‘terrorist’?”

⁃ “my mind has to be on the same frequency as jesus when he walked on water”

⁃ “you wanna know why i was late?” “no i really do-“ “i was having a MASSIVE poo. really just a HUGE poo”

⁃ “jUST CUZ YOU TALK ABOUT POO ONCE AND THEN YOU SEE A BIG GREEN BASTARD AMD YOUR LIFE IS FLASHING BEFORE YOUR EYES AND THEN YOU CANT REMEMBER- YOU CANT REMEMBER IF IT WAS YESTERDAY OR TOMORROW YOU HURT THAT WOMAN”

⁃ “i love america. mmmmm patriotism

⁃ “LIFE IS NOT A HAPPY SONG KERMIT THE FROG”

⁃ “please stop taking the cock”

⁃ “two four six eight who do we appreciate? not the government let’s gooooooo”

⁃ “oooo look at the dogs😍” “wHAAAAAT. WHAT. THERES ACTUALLY LIKE. A MILLION DOGS HERE. WHAT THE HELL.”

⁃ “yeahhhhh bitch i stab- i don’t stab women-“ “woooooooah tommy you stab women?” “heyyyy sapnap”

⁃ “do you know what happens whne you reach the top of the ladder? there’s only one place to go.” “.....side to side😨” “down.” “...i really thought you were gonna say side to side🥺”

⁃ “one last time.” “just like in hamilton😓”

⁃ “you don’t know how many times i’ve mistaken trees for hot women”

⁃ “ i don’t feel better i just destroyed penis”

⁃ “i’ve never seen a snail with bad morals”

⁃ “awwwwwwww😢 i’m doin’ drugs🤧 just like the good ol’ days😓” “.....define the ‘good old days’” “back when i did drugs”

⁃ “have you ever fought a baby? i have and it was trivially easy to defeat, phil.”

⁃ “the only other i egg i know about was the one i learnt about in school....not allowed to say which one....”

⁃ “did you know one of my new years resolutions is to be more like 2010 justin bieber?”

⁃ “apparently cats don’t lay eggs”

⁃ “thinking about trees- if i saw a tree with a beard mmmmmm...holy shit id hit it”

⁃ “we’re in hell dude. science doesn’t matter here”

⁃ “i cant die i cant die i’m GOD”

⁃ “hey pig your letter is the same as pussy, hmm?”

⁃ “are we cool are we COOL guys? CRYSTAL COOL like CRYSTAL METH”

⁃ “he- he’s crying because - because i killed his mother isn’t that right? mother dearest mother deadest mother gonest”

⁃ “bro ive been drinking since i was six and let me tell you...it’s not good to be drinking that young. led to some poor life decisions when i was 8” “what did you do” “i cant say” “...who did you hurt” “....only myself”

⁃ “je suis” “ay i know what that mean you prick” “what does it mean” “it means you’re racist dickhead”

⁃ “i’d never poo in the presence of a women- which is why i’m scared to get a girlfriend i think i’d just explode”

⁃ “biff tannen is one of my idols”

⁃ “black widow died and i thought ‘wow it should’ve been the man’ because he’s a man”

⁃ “there’s a character called captain america and i think he’s stupid”

⁃ “i’m a GOOD LAD i’ve got GOOD MORALS and if i’ve DONE SOMETHING WRONG it WASNT MY FAULT I JUST GOT A LITTLE EXCITED”

⁃ “sam....what’s the longest you’ve ever wiped your arse? for me it’s 48 minutes”

⁃ “why are you standing in the shitter?” “....that’s a SINK” “uhhh welllll” “hAVE YOU SHAT IN THE SINK?????”

⁃ “you’re like a living ghost” “...i think that’s called a human, tubbo”

⁃ “maybe i accidentally kill ranboo and we just never see him again *laughs* ay? and then i go ‘april foooools!!!’ and then i kill their child. i kill him”

⁃ “you built a penis” “it’s a PENIS OF SAFETY”

⁃ “i saw the penis of safety and i pressed mouse button four my friend”

⁃ “the penis on the other side of the river is larger” “ive heard that before....”

⁃ “you’ve turned the penis into a wall” “a wall of safety is better than a penis of safety” “i think the penis was better”

⁃ “if you wanna make a penis i know where we can make a penis and i know how big we can make it”

⁃ “i don’t conceptualize death but i think i just saw it!”

⁃ “yeah i- yeah i know i’m- my first impression on eret was making him read a shrek fan fiction so- i’m not one for first impressions”

⁃ “i-i’m scared for him- i’m scared OF him. yknow the first thing he did when he saw me was imMEDIATELY strip down then jump off then immediately die?”

⁃ “where are you?” “getting stabbed, one second”

⁃ “you’ve seen the joker?” “yea-“ “i resonate a lot with that man” “...oH. oh. that’s- that’s not-“

⁃ “he bURNT DOWN MY HOUSE” “out of LOVE”

⁃ “ohhhh my god stop making me play with the neighbor kid” “o-okay if you don’t go play with him i’m kicking you out of the house-“ “wHAT THE FUCK???”

⁃ “there’s a STRIP CLUB” “oh yeah for wood!” “are you into strippers?” “i mean all it does is make the wood look different so....yeah it doesn’t really do much”

⁃ “no no we have categories, we have the poo-saster- you might have to take a shower after-“ “no, no i’m gonna stop you right there”

⁃ “as i was saying you can have a 1-to-3 wiper, that’s an A-tier poo, my friend”

⁃ “i want you to eat your sock”

⁃ “you know i’m a child- i’m a minor” “sO AM I DICKHEAD”

⁃ “everyone is calling you dresus” “yeah i am”

⁃ “ayyyy ayyyy los DROGAS LOS DROGAS” “no no big q- she’s thirteen- how does this happen with every 13 year old girl you meet?”

⁃ “my poo has muscles like i do”

⁃ “i cant hear the words among us without crying they’ll say there are aliens among us and in the back youll just hear me *choking noises*”

⁃ “tubbo...tubbo is like...tubbo is like mary” “.....did you just call me the Virgin Mary?”

⁃ “i’m just saying, have you ever seen me and jesus in the same room?”

⁃ “do you smoke sam” “all the time”

⁃ “i thought you were talking about the- the speeeeed drug”

⁃ “have you ever sold drugs to kids sam?” “......no”

⁃ “we can’t let the girlboss rule because she will gatekeepe my feelings” “that would not be good”

⁃ “THEY DIDNT INVITE ME TO KILL ME???? NOW I HAVE FOMO”

⁃ “you have obviously taken part in scientology-“ “i have not-“ “you’ve donated to tom cruises cult shit”

⁃ “....am i worse than david dobrik?” “are- are we worse than david dobrik?” “oh- oh god”

⁃ “he has broke one of the rules of the hit best seller ‘the bible’- this kind of looks like a cock”

⁃ “well i’ve moved now, KING”

⁃ “what is an angsty teen and am i one? because when i USED to hang out with my friends they use the word angst a lot”

⁃ “yeah yeah yeah i bench”

⁃ “sam i think i’m angsty i think i’m an angsty tik tok teen looking for a community to help me out”

⁃ “i don’t think you’ve followed the train of logic all the way-“ “there’s a TRAIN INVOLVED????????”

⁃ “i’m like the orange fucker from that animated rom com”

⁃ “i’m under the influence of big cock”

⁃ “it’s meeee big cock man”

⁃ “i cant look away” “sam please use your twitter alt for this” “he’s horny on maaaainnnnn” “and what’s wrong with that?” “.......”

⁃ “you’re a FUCKING IDIOT” “IM NOT A FUCKING IDIOT, BIG COCK”

⁃ “i’m gonna call you ‘cockity’ big cock” “sHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP-“

⁃ “STOP LOOKING AT IT” “ITS SO VIBRANT”

⁃ “at least this guy doesn’t have a cock-“ “itS NOT A COCK” “horny on main jesus-“

⁃ “is that a cock” “SHUT THE FUCK UP”

⁃ “.....i wanna see the inside of it again do a split”

⁃ “okay sam-“ “tommy that guy wants your cock-“ “no- no he doesn’t sam”

⁃ “sam, sam and i need you to hear this....dont. act. up.” “i don’t act up-“ “you were acting up-“ “i-“ “you were caught in 8k.” “but- but we both agree it’s not a tie-“

⁃ “please don’t tell me to kill cockity i am overwhelmed”

⁃ “why is there an anus in my tie?”

⁃ “what are the legal implications of this?” “...i mean besides hell you’re good”

⁃ “whatre the legal implications?” “i mean usually that’s a no-no but today, today it’s fine” “yeahhh lets go murder his family”

⁃ “i’d be an antivax landlord”

⁃ “jesus never does drugs” “well- well you turned water into wine king and wine is alcohol”

⁃ “can you put on pants i can’t- i cant stop looking at it- sorry tommy i know you said-“ “yeah sam i know you tried-“

⁃ “you know i fuck with satan”

⁃ “i’m sorry jesus lucifer is just such a good man-“ “oh you- hold me BACK FROM THIS FUCKER HOLD ME BACK ILL SEND HIM TO HELL YOU LIKE HELL-“

⁃ “are you jesus or just a man who grew a beard and put on a suit?”

⁃ “even the guy with his cock out is telling you to stop-“ “oh jesus, and i mean jesus-“ “shUT THE FUCK UP MAN”

⁃ “the best best way to slander him is to stop his offspring; we need to kick him the balls.....no? not a good....? alright us four each take a ball-“

⁃ “......why did jesus give him four scrotums man🙁🙁”

[seas-storyarchive]

Random thought from my brain because reasons

What if Scrooge adopted Gyro (he's like 30ish right?) after he ran away from Tokyolk? Only Gyro doesn't know. And it all comes to light when Louie finds an old box of stuff because of course he does.

------------

"Well, what do we have here?" Louie sees the official looking paper and then begins to read it. "Certificate of Adoption for.." He then rushed back to the living room. [[MORE]]

"What are you looking at, Green Nephew?" Gyro's voice catches just about everyone's attention from the movie.

"Do you know that Uncle Scrooge adopted you?" Louie asks, not angry, genuinely curious. Could this explain some things?

"No, no. Mr. McDuck took me in after I came to Duckburg while I was working on a proposal to prove myself. That isn't adopting." Gyro said, catching Scrooge's attention as the duck walked into the room.

"It says it right there-" Louie shoved the document under Gyro's nose. "See?"

Gyro reads it, mumbling about children having no respect for adults, and then turns to Scrooge with his eyes wide. "I.. you.."

Scrooge sighs, looking at him. "Ah coul' nae let ye be tak'n bac' ta somewhe'e tha' ye did nae feel safe. Tha' wass tha bes' o'tion. Yo' 'ere almos' eightee', so tha' gav' yo' so'e 'ime ta star' fresh an' no 'ave ta wor'y abou' 'aving a 'ome-"

Gyro is on his knees, hugging the duck and sobbing. This duck gave him a chance, after his family had abandoned him and Akita had used him, going so far as to adopt him within a few weeks of staying at his home to give him a safety net should he need it.

"Le' it ou' lad. Ah go' ya." Scrooge hugged the young man, who he had adopted in secret to give him safety from those who would hurt him.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Gyro asks, still holding Scrooge in fear and not looking up at anyone.

"Ah don' 'now lad.. Ah'm sorrah Ah di'n't." Scrooge honestly wanted to tell Gyro on his birthday, but instead he gave him the old underwater lab that was still functioning to work on his inventions. Under the Money Bin, under his watch to keep him safe.

"Thank you. For everything, Dad." Gyro pulls away to wipe his tears.

Dad? That.. had a nice ring to it. "Your welcome, me boy." He turned to everyone else. "Ferge' tha mov'e, ther' 're som' thin's we need ta talk abou'."

-

"Why didn't you tell me about this?" Bentina asked Scrooge, pulling him aside into the hallway.

"Ah'm sorrah love," Scrooge sighed. "Ah wish Ah 'ad. Bu'.. Ah jus'.. 'e 'ad be'n thro'gh so much an' Ah coul' nae st'nd ta see 'im go thro'gh an'more."

Bentina sighed too, knowing that very rarely sometimes Scrooge's heart would call the shots. "Well, it will be an adjustment, but we'll make do."

Scrooge hugged her. "Tha' is why Ah love you."

Bentina hugged Scrooge back, chuckling to herself. He was an idiot, but he was her idiot.

-

"So, you're our cousin?" Della asked, planning ways on getting him back for years of black licorice Oxychew. But now making it worse.

Gyro nodded. "Yes, it seems so. Mr. McDad- I mean Dad- he adopted me before my eighteenth birthday so in the realms of legality I am."

"New Cousins!" Webby took photos of Boyd and Lil' Bulb and then rushed over to Gyro with her sisters. "Since Grampy adopted you-"

"Are you our uncle?" Ah yes, the yellow one.

"Please say yes! We want an uncle too!" Of course the teal one wanted one.

Gyro was flustered at the attention. "I.. suppose? You don't have to call me Uncle though." He had a feeling the girls would though.

Scrooge and Bentina walked into the room, and Gyro walked over.

"Boyd, Lil' Bulb.." Gyro called his kids over. "Allow me to introduce my father, who is your Grandfather and he will be addressed as such until he says otherwise, Scrooge McDuck."

"Scrooge McDuck. Status: upgraded to Grandfather." Boyd, after commiting the information to his memory, then hugged Scrooge with Lil Bulb. "Hi I'm Boyd! A very real boy!"

They received a hug back. "'ello me lads."

[marichat-verse]

Mist Memories

Leo Valdez x reader for his birthday ahhhh (even though it's angsty) with a platonic/developing jason x reader cameo at the end (lmao im sorry i couldn't help myself 😭)

Based on this picture I found in pinterest + also [kinda] based on traitor by olivia rodrigo and omg i really recommend u guys listen to this edit because it reminds me so much of this fic that's been stuck in my head for MONTHS also kind of a run away with me prologue lol

Your POV

I nervously made my way across the forest until I reached a limestone cliff. I knocked on the iron door, not really expecting to get an answer.

My boyfriend has been shutting himself in Bunker 9 for the past few weeks. I stood there counting up to seven before knocking again. I knocked again two more times, until he answered in the middle of my last knock.

He removed his goggles and winced as sunlight hit his eyes. He'd grown thinner and paler, making the dark circles in his eyes more pronounced.

"Oh, Leo..." I reached out to brush a few strands of hair away from his face, but he moved away.

"What are you doing here?" He said in a monotone voice.

I moved to walk inside the Bunker, brushing off his hesitation to let me in. "I'm your partner, remember? And I'm really concerned because you're shutting yourself out lately. You know everyone's starting to worry about you. Percy asked me to check on you because you missed pegasus riding with him. Oh, and I'm pretty sure Jason's coming back from Camp Jupiter soon. I was hoping you and Annabeth could be with Piper while Percy and I hung out with Jason because it's been a little awkward since their breakup. Plus Piper wanted to tell you something—"

"Please," he said forcefully causing me to stop and look at him. "Just... Get out."

Normally, he'd shut himself from the world for a few days to work on an important project or because he was feeling really sad and he needed space. But this was getting out of hand. He had never locked me out of his life when I offered to help him. He was never this mean when he asked for space. I was not having this attitude of his.

"Okay, Leo. I tried to play nice. What is so important that you blow off all your friends for nearly a month that you can't even tell your partner, or maybe say hi to your best friend who's coming back from the other side of the country?"

He didn't say anything. He pursed his lips and avoided eye contact. I scanned he room for any signs.

It was messier than usual with all the crumpled paper scattered on the floor, especially on his desk. He could have been drawing up new plans. Something in my gut told me that something wasn't right. There were no new unfinished projects, indicating that he wasn't starting a new invention. Harley's helicopter lay on his bench in the same state it was weeks ago. Huh, not even his siblings could enter the Bunker.

I turned and Leo was already changing Festus' oil. I took this moment of distraction to pick up a few pieces of crumpled paper on the floor and on his desk. I had to process the words a bit longer—too long that Leo took notice. Damn dyslexia.

I heard footsteps speed up behind me, but it was too late. I read enough and got the gist of what he had been trying to do these past few weeks.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" He yelled at me. Small embers started to erupt between his curls.

I laughed dryly. "So this is what you've been up to?"

His fists tightened, further crumpling the paper in his hands. His eyes flashed with anger, despair and confusion.

I sighed and focused my eyes on his desk, not daring to look at him any longer. Under some pieces of paper were old photographs of him and Piper from Wilderness School. Yup, those definitely were the mist memories she had with Jason. I read the latest draft he'd been writing:

Dear Piper,

Remember the mist memories from boarding school with Jason? They were real, but they were with me.

I miss you. I miss when it was just us. I miss the night on the roof.

Yours truly,

Leo Valdez

I tried to keep my voice from cracking. "How long?"

I heard him sigh. "Three weeks."

I balled my fists. Tears started to fall and smudge the ink. I wiped them away as fast as they came.

"How?"

"In a dream," his tone softened now. "Hera came to me in a dream and told me to check an old drawer in Bunker 9. I found the photos and the memories came rushing back."

"How long were you dating back then?"

"Two weeks."

"Were you ever going to tell me?"

Silence; then a deep breath.

"No."

I shook my head in disbelief. "Why?"

"Because I knew you'd get upset like—"

"I meant why would you throw away months of our relationship for a couple of weeks of your relationship with her? And without even bothering to tell me? Gods damn it, Leo. We've been together since you've first arrived at camp. And what about those promises you made when we were sailing to Greece? You've been keeping these feelings away from me and you've been lying to me, making me believe that there's still something between us and—"

"Oh, calm down," he said with an annoyed expression and tone, which only infuriated me more, "it's not like I did anything were her yet! I didn't kiss her or tell her how I truly felt for her! She just got out of a relationship with Jason around the same time I had that dream. I had to figure out how to talk to her about it. I've been alone in this Bunker for three. Fucking. Weeks. I didn't cheat on you."

"Oh, and that makes everything better?" I countered. "Being in a relationship isn't about not cheating, Leo. It's about being honest and communicating with each other."

"Oh, like you've been communicating with me? After the war, you take go back to Manhattan for school, and you take a job. I haven't seen you much during the holidays because work has been keeping you in the city. And you won't tell me what you even do for a living!"

I took in a deep breath. "I told you I needed to have a life outside of camp! I needed to know first that I could handle myself in the mortal world as a normal human being. I needed this demigod part of my life to be separate as much as possible! I've been in two wars, Leo. I needed time to myself, too. And I was about to tell you guys in a few more days. But I guess now, I'm glad I've kept you out of that part of my life. At least I have an escape from all of this. And now, especially from you."

I took another deep breath and walked to the door, about to let myself out. I turned back again, both our tear-stained eyes meeting each other.

"If it makes you feel any better," I said softly, "I would've hated the idea of us breaking up. But if you really love her, if you really feel like you have this special connection to her and she makes you happy, then I won't get in your way. You could at least have had the decency to talk to me so we could have left on a good note."

He looked at me with wide eyes, clearly regretting his actions. I sighed and looked around the Bunker, possibly for the last time. Lots of memories were definitely created in this room; all just as grand and meaningful as the inventions they made here. But just like some of Hephaestus' contraptions, some of them were flawed and dumped in his scrapyard, no matter how much potential it could have had.

"Goodbye, Leo."

I sat on a rock on the beach that gave me a beautiful view of Long Island Sound. To my left, the sun started to set, casting an orange filter on everything. My heart broke, remembering how everything glowed orange in the Bunker. Leo always left the fires burning when he was working. The sunlight twinkling against the sea reminded me of how small bits of flame peaked through his hair earlier. I remembered how mad he was at me. Or maybe he was mostly mad at himself.

"Hey."

I jumped when someone sat—or rather, landed—beside me. I turned and smiled, seeing one of my good friends back at camp.

"Hey, you're back," I said weakly. "How long have you been here?"

He smiled at me, although he could maybe sense that something was wrong. "Half an hour, maybe? I saw Annabeth making plans to expand camp to have a city. She made me do an aerial inspection and I told her I'll get back to her tonight. That's when I saw you."

"Mhmm," I mumbled, not really knowing what to say. It was silent for a few minutes before I spoke up again, knowing he was just waiting for me to open up.

"I broke up with Leo."

His head quickly turned to me. I guess he wasn't expecting it to be that bad. "What?"

"Oh yeah," I laughed dryly. "Turns out the mist memories Piper had in Wilderness School with you? They were real. But not with you."

His eyes widened. "Oh... With Leo."

"He locked himself in the Bunker for weeks trying to write a letter. It was heartbreaking. Like, truly heartbreaking. He wanted to tell her how much he missed her and how much he missed them. Then he said how much he missed that night with her under the stars and... It hurt. Like hell."

"Oh," he said. "I guess Piper didn't tell me everything then."

"She knew all along?"

He shook his head. "Maybe not everything, but she told me she's been confused about her feelings lately and she'd been having visions or dreams of possible old memories that were messing with her head."

"I'm sorry about you and Piper," I said.

"Don't be," he said. "I understand her. It did hurt, though. But I think I can get over it some day. We're still awkward around each other, but at least we left on a good note."

I scoffed. "Leo couldn't even give me a good ending to our relationship."

"Hey," he said as he put a hand on my shoulder. "You're a great person, y/n. You've done so much, especially for him. It's his loss that he was stupid enough to let go of you."

"I know that."

"Do you really?"

"I do!" I said. "I'm a great person and I know that. But that doesn't mean what he did doesn't hurt me."

"I know," he said. "You'll find someone who'll treat you like the queen that you are. You're a great person, and I'm not just saying this to cheer you up. I truly think you're amazing."

I smiled at him. "Thanks, Jason. And you'll find someone great, too. Maybe not as great as me but, then again, who is?"

We both let out a laugh. The conch sounded in the distance, signaling dinner. I moved to stand up before hearing Jason speak up again.

"Hey, do you maybe want to just grab a couple of plates and eat out here?"

I smiled. "Yeah. That sounds good. I don't really want everyone else hounding me about the breakup right now."

I don't know how long it was going to take me to get over Leo. We really did gave something special. It was cruel how the universe gave me something so good, to make me have hope that something was finally going right, then have it yanked away from my arms just as suddenly as it came.

He never cheated on me, but that didn't mean he didn't betray every promise we made to each other. I should have known it was too good to be true. Life has always played cruel jokes on me.

Then again, who's to say that things won't turn out for the better, right?

•••

Tagging: @drvrslcense @bubblybubbubs @dreamerball @quteez @aesthetxcimagines @chasingpj @beingleft @wadewilsonsgreatestfriend

[lilyclawthorne]

Escaping Expulsion Thoughts (once again very stream of conscious-like while i rewatched the episode so there’s a bunch of stuff here)

i fucking knew odalia was gonna be an oracle, i knew and i hate that for her family. i’m not sure if this necklace thing is specifically a form of oracle magic or not but im assuming it is, and either way the second i saw it happen that made my stomach twist. the fact that she just keeps this direct line to her daughter at all times feels so disturbing

so, i get that the joke with glyph lessons here is that eda and lilith are probably acting the exact same way they did when they were younger, but it does also feel a little odd for me. in my post for episode 1 i talked about how it felt like lilith probably missed the structure of the coven, and maybe even having an authority figure, and it does concern me a bit that it could be projected on to luz here. 

also, i saw someone mention that they thought lilith could be regressing a bit, which is interesting seeing as she’s been in the coven since basically being a child and now that she’s out, she could be going backwards because that was probably the last time she had a personality of her own instead of one that was carefully crafted to be socially acceptable for others. and to be fair, the few moments in season 1 when we see glimpses into the true lilith, she is pretty childish.

anyways lilith has such pretty handwriting i love it

gus!! witch puberty!! do not worry buddy eda will get your name eventually. probably.

amity went out and murdered those fairies for luz didn’t she

i need to know why the heck bump has no choice in the matter of the expulsion. typically a pta (or pca in this case) wouldn’t have power that much stronger than the principa?? so i wonder if the blights have something over bump, or if its even just something such as donation money they’d withdraw

odalia blight you gaslighting bitch “I’m appalled you’re not in class right now what are you thinking” YOU MADE HER COME HERE

PLEASE i know gus and willow are sad here but the whole “live off the land” thing and “water you one last time, with my tears” are so fucking funny ok

GO LUZ, YOU TELL OFF ODALIA

i feel like alador doesn’t really care what’s going on and just wants to be back home making his abomination inventions, also he seems to have an affinity for different creatures as well which is an interesting detail

i love that willow stated they would get back in on their own right in front of alador and odalia. these people fucked up her friendship and caused her a lot of trouble that she shouldn’t have had to deal with so i love that she’s unafraid to speak like that in front of them

between the first & second episode, and some of the seasons trailer, it seems like Lilith may have an affinity for ice magic? which is interesting seeing as eda was always a fan of her “spicy toss” aka some fire magic. interesting to see the two of them as fire & ice basically

i LOVE how much bump loves luz, willow, and gus. it’s kinda really sweet, but again it feels so concerning that he had no choice in the matter. makes me think he’s more likely to eventually rebel against the standards that have been in place for so long at some point. (also abominations coven for bump!! interesting!! i appreciate seeing the coven marks included on the adults so far)

what is it with these kids and being dragged off by their hoods in this episode

love that the blights address includes “right arm”, also i took a quick look up of the word “bruegal” which is boulevard they live on, and it’s probably just a coincidence but the first google result was actually for a european think tank that specializes in economics

yknow i actually have wondered about layering glyphs on top of each other and making a super glyph the way eda did, so good to know that would NOT work out

luz you’re really gonna give the blights their own flowers??????

it goes by so fast but please take a moment to take in and appreciate the design of that blight entry room/living room-esque area and it’s combination of abomination and oracle decor. also the blight family portrait.

i could talk about alador and odalia and their relationship dynamic here, when luz is meeting with them, but i think it’s best to save for the end, but i will say i don’t think it’s just odalia controlling everything (though she does control a lot) and alador just suffering and being silent. 

the more i stare at odalia’s hair the more i feel like she has an odd receding hairline

love that the abomination kept the cat shape luz gave it and that amity knew immediately from that

WILLOW’S DADS!!! I LOVE THEM! I love how much they want their daughter to have a great education even if they have to be the ones to do it! (even if it could come across as a little intense) Although, the fact that they’re prepared to teach plant magic to her makes me question why they put her in abominations once again. (wish we could’ve gotten a glimpse of their coven marks!)

odalia is definitely the one who handles more of the parenting and alador is more distant. at least that’s what i get based on the twins specifying to amity not to tell their mom specifically

absolutely insane that odalia is just letting the abomiton destroy the whole place to kill a child

“stay away from my luz!” oh my god,ohmy GOD 

i like how lilith can’t tell if these are normal noises or distress ones. really sums up life in the owl house. also lilith? kicking doors in?? this combined with “I AM A WITCH, UNHINGED” tells me she’ll be as chaotic as the rest of the owl house in no time and i am here for it.

the music when amity jumps in to protect luz is absolutely killing it here i need a soundtrack now

YES AMITY DESTROY THE NECKLACE (and oh god please don’t let odalia give you something even harder to remove or destroy)

Luz is blushing!! The feelings are starting to be returned!!!

“Luz, Willow, and Gus are my friends!” love it. love the open declaration. love that she’s telling her mother off. love that i have something to check off my bingo board already.

okay, i know a lot of people have already suggested that alador is smiling here because he can tell luz and amity like each other, but i’m pretty sure it’s only because he’s noticing how much amity’s magic has grown and improved

small detail but i love the smoke from the units order sign filling the background while odalia is fuming herself

oh? alador has had the ability to tell odalia off and successfully calm her down this whole time? and chose not to use it till now? yeah he sucks too. he very clearly has a plan for amity as much as odalia does as well, but he’s much better at seeing the long-term goal

“the glyph combo, copyright me, lilith” im screaming, lilith you DORK

ok i really wish eda or lilith asked where luz had been. i’d kill for these sisters to go off about how much they hated the alador and odalia in school, as well as threaten to hurt them for hurting luz.

the statue lilith made and her reaction to the gold star she received re-emphasizes my concern about her need for approval and for an authority figure. (ok but her noise at the gold star WAS very cute tho)

alright lets get down to business on the blight parents. so far i definitely do not view their relationship as being one-sided with odalia in control. honestly, i think they do have a sense of mutual respect for the other. to me it seems like all alador really wants to do is focus on his work and nothing else, and odalia seems not only more than happy to let him do so, but willing to take care of everything else the company needs, and he seems fine with that and going along with whatever because he only has to do his part. and clearly his abomination tech combined with her showmanship/advertising (and honestly probably some oracle magic) has clearly made them successful. 

so what im saying is that i think their power in their relationship is actually pretty balanced, if it looks otherwise that’s just because that’s how they best function together, with odalia being more forward and alador being more distant, and therefore they’re very much both to blame for shitty parenting. 

also I know some people have joked about the blight family name coming from odalia (which is also a dumb joke like why is it funny if the family name comes from the woman and not the man) but anyways I definitely do think blight is aladors family name and odalia married in simply because he takes the whole blights keep up their end of the deal thing much more seriously than odalia. probably something that’s been taught to him since he was a kid yknow, whereas she was super ready to ignore it when it inconvenienced her.

as for the very final scene with them and the golden guard, i had an interpretation of it that i saw, but it seems that everyone else ive see react to it so far saw something different than me so maybe i’m just plain wrong. but like, i have this feeling that maybe the blight parents, while they do want power, might not be as aligned with the emperor and his coven as we may think?? not saying they’re good people, just that there could be more going on here. but idk, i’ve seen no one else interpret it that way yet so i won’t go off about it unless either someone wants to know more of what i thought or if i ever actually make myself get around to making a separate post about it.