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[buckysplumass]

Sam, giggling: hey bucky :D

Bucky: yes sam?

Sam, still giggling: do you- :'D do you know what your name would be if you were a girl?

Bucky: oh God Sam no please

Sam: baguette

Bucky:

Sam: :DD

Bucky:

Sam: you know since the "ette" makes it girly and bag and buck are pronounced the same-

Bucky, in genuine tears: why

[buckysplumass]

Bucky: *just enjoying a normal, relaxing shower at the avengers tower

Clint, in the shower went: damn barnes, is that where all the poptarts you eat go?

Bucky: *screaming like a girl while trying to cover himself with the showercurtain

[buckysplumass]

Sam, answering the phone: oh hey sarah I-

Bucky, whispering: you on the phone?

Sam:yes?

Bucky:

Sam:

Bucky:

Bucky, hollering at the phone and giggling: eeeew Sam put your pants ooon

Sam: buck we're married

[buckysplumass]

Okay this is better. Not great per se but better in this dire situation, thank you. Just kinda sad that mobius was right there and they could've been such a cute couple. Like they could've moved into a beach house together so mobius can ride his precious jet ski anytime, but intead marvels first thought is selfcest :D?

Loki spoilers!

Um, is Sylvie like loki's Daddy Frost Giant™'s child? Like instead of lil tom hiddleston loki sperm, the lil Sylvie sperm got made into a baby in the timeline Sylvie is from. Doesn't that mean Sylvie is lokis sister???? Or is there another explanation like "oh she is just another version of loki but female"?

Either way the options here are that their unholy relationship is either "selfcest" or incest AND YALLL, I-

THE OPTIONS SHOULDN'T BE BETWEEN SELFCEST AND INCEST PLS. MARVEL W H A

[buckysplumass]

Loki spoilers!

Um, is Sylvie like loki's Daddy Frost Giant™'s child? Like instead of lil tom hiddleston loki sperm, the lil Sylvie sperm got made into a baby in the timeline Sylvie is from. Doesn't that mean Sylvie is lokis sister???? Or is there another explanation like "oh she is just another version of loki but female"?

Either way the options here are that their unholy relationship is either "selfcest" or incest AND YALLL, I-

THE OPTIONS SHOULDN'T BE BETWEEN SELFCEST AND INCEST PLS. MARVEL W H A

[buckysplumass]

Bucky barnes is definitely the kind of boyfriend who will get his S/O a "I wuv you" card with a dog on it 100% thinking it's a class A pun

Sam wilson is the kind of boyfriend who will cry when getting a card from his S/O. Even if it's a "I wuv you" card with a dog on it

[buckysplumass]

Kay so I'm getting "exited dog and reluctant dad who didn't want the dog but is warming up to it" vibes from loki and mobius in episode two

[buckysplumass]

Sam: * walking to the kitchen at night to see bucky crying on the floor

Sam: um hey bud. What's wrong?

Bucky: snakes can never feel platonical love:(

Sam, already massaging his temples in stress: oh and why's that hun?

Bucky: they don't have arms to hug with and if they get tangled in each other, they would be having sex cus that's how snakes have sex sam. They can never hug each other sam

Sam: ...

Sam: buck get your ass to bed

[buckysplumass]

Poolside stress relief

Ship: CEO!Bucky x gender neutral reader

Warning: some cursing, slightly implied sexy times

Themes: fluff, no smut even though it kinda sounds like it :D

Summary: Bucky gets a little stressed because of work but you're there for him

The sun was shining so brightly down at me that I had to shut my eyes tight even though I was wearing the pretty, new Versace sunglasses Buck bought me. It felt good though. To just lay here on a sun lounger, by the poolside, taking in the warmth and just relaxing.

"Shit", a breathy mumble came from the other side of the pool. I hoisted my head up and lazily lifted my hand to take my glasses from my eyes so i could take a good look at the disturbance. And so there he was. In all his glory. With a comfortable tux shirt, well as comfortable as those things come, and a pair of cheap looking heart boxers. The sight warmed my heart with its sheer adorableness. Although the poor thing looked as tired as a one-armed paper hanger. Hah. Well jokes aside, back to spouse business now.

"Hey hun. What's got you so worn out?" He turned to look at me, not without a little once-over of course, he can always find time for that, and sighed. "Hecking work, babe. There's simply too many things to do and not enough tolerable people to work with. It's a shit show", Bucky pouted. "Aaww my poor baby. Come here." I made crappy hands at him. Man, he really was tired. I could see it in the way he exhaustedly brushed his hair back while sluggishly walking over. I took his face between my hands and looked into his slightly swollen eyes. The stress definitely had not helped with his sleep. I brushed my fingers over them as gently as I possibly could and he closed them, enjoying the touch he has been longing for ever since the dreaded zoom work call started way too early this morning. "How about", I brought my face closer to his and tenderly kissed his lips. "-I help you de-stress a bit, huh Sarge? Those shoulders look awfully tense", I frowned lowering my hands onto them from the sides of his face. "Hmmm yes please", he made quick little kisses around my lower face before he let me get up and lay him down onto the sun lounger.

I moved myself to his back, straddling his oh so muscular thighs. Hmm, I sight to myself. No, now is not the time for that. I start by firmly massaging his neck. Poor baby has been complaining about it for days, thanks to his work switching over to zoom. Looking down at that computer screen and hunching over to type certainly has left its mark on his now sore muscles. "Oh Y/N. You're so good to me", he purred. I giggled and grinned even though I knew he couldn't see it. "Funny. It's like I've heard that one somewhere before", I teased, wiggling my eyebrows. "Doll, flirty remarks are my thing", Bucky groaned. Although I knew he was very amused by my comment. "Sorry Sarge, I just couldn't resist".

His doomed shoulders were next. I kneaded them while he whined; "This is why I married you, doll". I snorted at the statement. Dork. "Just because of my incredible massaging talents? I am hurt!", I exclaimed as dramatically as I could, which got him laughing. "Well, the fact that you're like, super hot, might have something to do with it too." I chuckled at his words. Even after all this time, he can still get me to blush so easily.

I continued to his strong back. Doing my best to get his knots all sorted out. "I really love you, you know", he turned to look at me. The most soulful, beautiful blue eyes stared back. The very eyes I fell in love with. The eyes I intent to gaze into for the rest of my life. "I know Buck, I know. I really love you too".

[buckysplumass]

Sam: *carrying a dead Karli in his arms

Bucky:... I wouldn't mind dying in those arms

[buckysplumass]

Ayo: *detaches Buckys arm

Rocket the raccoon gasping somewhere in like space or something:... Did- did you guys feel that? Somebody tried to steal my arm

[buckysplumass]

Sam: hey buck, do you think our kids will be friends?

Bucky: umm I don't know, they'll most probably have the usual love-hate sibling relationship

Sam:... What?

Bucky: what

[buckysplumass]

Now there is yet another horrifying case of white man who shouldn't have a gun murdering a black man who didn't do anything wrong. And that's not all. These things just keep on happening and when the family of the victims and the community of the victims try and get some fucking justice, they are labelled as an "unlawful assembly". They feel unsafe, they are suffering the loss of a loved one and they are just trying to get the murderer punished for his crimes.

(x)

Edit: Pls refer to reblog for updated list of resources

[buckysplumass]

Sam, gasping: not infront of the baby!!

Zemo being Zemo: Super Soldiers shouldn't exist

Sam, covering Bucky's ears: EXCUSE ME???!?!!!!?!1?!!!?

[buckysplumass]

Sharon in the last episodes be like:

*mysteriously gets into a car with a mysterious woman

*mysteriously walks around in a mysterious place with mysterious people

*mysteriously has satellites available

(this is also my evidence on her being the power broker)

[buckysplumass]

POV: Sam and Bucky talking shit about John Walker while getting pedicures

Bucky: so then I said to him, ho, you don't even have the ass for it. Let alone americas ass

Sam: exactly preach it sis

[buckysplumass]

POV: Sam and Bucky are about to taste McDonalds sprite and store bought sprite because Bucky doesn't understand all the memes

Bucky: Sam, it really cannot taste THAT different I mean- *takes a sip from both

Bucky:...

Bucky: holy. Shit.

Sam: I KNOW RIGHT BUCK I FUCKING TOLD YOU-