cannot-commit-to-reality

[cannot-commit-to-reality]

It’s up on ao3, here:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/65197591

Y’all I just wrote a 1k fix it fic for daredevil born again, you guys want it??

I might even post to ao3…

[cannot-commit-to-reality]

I officially have an ao3!!

av0cado_at_law if you would consider following me <3

i've already got one ddba fic up, and I'm working on another one at the moment.. :D

[cannot-commit-to-reality]

Really no caption needed here. I love my girl

[cannot-commit-to-reality]

Daredevil fanfic

Spoilers for Born Again, set sometime close to the end, it's kind of amiguous. Apologies for any punctuation errors; I wrote it in a sleep-deprived frenzy!

You can read it on ao3 here:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/65197591

Summary:

Foggy faked his death to continue the case against Vanessa; now he's finally back. Matt's POV, 1.3k words. Matt/Foggy if you squint, can be read platonically!

———————enjoy!!——————————-

Matt sighed as he made his way up to his apartment. It had been a long day at the firm, and he had been distracted—he knew that. It’s just that—no, he hadn't seen anything because there was nothing to see. He was blind, after all. That joke had never been funny, but Matt needed anything he could come up with to deter his racing thoughts. 

He was turning the key in the lock when he heard it—a heartbeat. 

He slowly pushed the door open, ready for a fight. But as he listened to it beat, the world seemed to freeze.

He knew that heartbeat. He’d memorised it, years ago. Matt Murdock would know that heartbeat anywhere, could always recognise it in a crowd. He’d spent nights listening to that heartbeat, anchoring himself to it. It was a heart that hadn't beat in a long time. 

“Matt?” 

He heard the door creak shut behind him. he felt as though he was on autopilot, as he stepped toward the sound. That voice. The voice he’d grown used to hearing every single day. The voice that had first greeted him in college, years ago. The voice whose last words had haunted him for the past year. 

“Matt? Um. It's me. it's-“

Matt felt like his body might be shutting down. Every sound in the world was silenced, leaving only their heartbeats. And that voice.

“… it's Foggy-”

Matt's world collapsed in on itself. 

“Matty I’m so sorry, fuck I know it- I know how it feels, but you have to understand, I had to do it-“ he faltered. 

A black hole had opened in Matt's living room.

“I couldn’t tell you. I couldn’t talk to you, I know that sounds terrible, but I just- fuck, Matt, I wanted to! If you believe anything, believe that I wanted to tell you! I wanted you to know, it fucking destroyed me, I-“ Foggy fidgeted nervously. 

The black hole was growing, swallowing everything. Matt felt as though he would fall into it. 

“It wouldn't work if you knew.” Foggy seemed to be overcome with guilt. Matt couldn't be sure. The world was barely a whisper to him. His brain was shutting down. His heart felt as though it would soon follow.

“And uh. Karen knows. I’m sorry! - She didn't know while it was happening, though, her reaction was genuine, had to be genuine, had to sell it…” he trailed off.

Matt knew he was shaking, but he wasn't in control of his own body at the moment. 

“I- I- I only told her after, it was safe because she wouldn’t see you, I -you couldn’t know I was alive; it would have ruined the whole operation. and God, I know how that sounds, but we had it all planned out and- and-“ he faltered. 

Matt knew the shock showed on his face when Foggy had said ‘we’. other people knew. everyone knew, they lied to him, they all lied to him How could they lie to him? his heart must be stopping. 

“It wasn't many people! Just a couple, right, the-the ones who took me away. You know the case I was working on? Of course you do, I know you figured it out. I knew Vanessa was going to take a shot at me, it was the only way I could keep working it, she had to think she got me.” 

The silence was deafening. 

“It- stop me if you don't want to hear it, but you deserve an explanation, Matt. It was carefully placed blood bags, a bulletproof vest, and a well-timed injection. Yeah. Uh. When I went outside. To take that call. That's uh. Yeah. The drug slowed my heart down enough that even your fucking super senses couldn’t detect it.” Foggy murmured on. he didn’t seem to be able to stop. 

“After they uh. Pronounced me dead, went back to work on the case. It's done. Out of my hands now. We’re gonna get them, Matt. With the system! Listen, I know it hasn't worked before, but it could this time, once this gets out, it's gonna make a difference!”

Matt thought he might have stopped breathing. The only sensation he was aware of was the tears in his eyes and the involuntary tremor in his hands.

“-and I didn’t tell you, because I didn’t want to give you a reason.” Any strength Foggy had left in his voice had vanished. 

“I’m sorry, Matt. I’m so fucking sorry I left you. I know you think everyone in your life leaves you, and despite my promises, I did too. I don't know if I can ever make up for that. But I can tell you that I’ll never leave you, buddy, not again.” Was his voice about to break? Why was Foggy upset? Matt was the one trying to prevent his entire world from collapsing and allowing that black hole to consume him.

“Unless, uh” Foggy stuttered on, “unless you, understandably, want nothing to do with me, in which case I’ll uh, show myself out.” He coughed, awkwardly. 

Matt knew he should say something. React. But the tears behind his eyes were dangerously close to escaping, and he really didn't want Foggy to see him reduced to a sobbing mess. Despite the strength of his willpower, Matt knew his lip was trembling, his hands were shaking, and his voice would surely break if he tried to speak. 

“Matt?” The black hole was tearing him apart. Each word Foggy spoke ripped through his chest.

“Matt, say something, please.” Foggy sounded desperate. Why was Foggy desperate? Matt was always the desperate one. He was crying now, felt hot tears rolling down his cheeks. 

“Matty, you're scaring me, please, say something! Yell at me, punch me, just, please!” Foggy cried out.

Matt flinched as he heard Foggy take a step forward, felt careful hands remove his dark glasses. His mask. His safety. Now Foggy could see him, pathetic, broken, crying. 

“You’re. You’re- real?” He managed to whisper.

“Oh. Oh, Matty. I’m real. I’m real, I promise.”

The black hole tore him apart from the inside out. 

He felt a gentle hand on his shoulder. A single touch, that was all it took for the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen to collapse forward into Foggy's waiting arms, letting the sobs tear through his body. He felt as though he were being ripped apart, the pain in his chest was unbearable. 

“Hey, hey, Matty, it's ok, you’re ok.” Foggy’s arms tightened around him. “I’ve got you.”

“I’m here.”

I’m here. Foggy was here. Foggy hadn’t abandoned him, he was here. He was safe.

Slowly, his sobs faded, and the tear in his chest seemed to shrink. Matt’s world seemed to come back, still shaky, but no longer collapsing. He listened to Foggy’s breathing, matching his own to it. Everything would be ok. Foggy was here now.

And Matt was exhausted. With all the repressed emotion of the past year, and the explosion of the past hour, Matt suddenly felt he could barely stand.

“You uh, wanna sit down?” He muttered. “We could watch that, uh, that movie you wanted to see? I downloaded it but I-“ his voice trembled.

“I didn’t want to watch it without you.” He finished meekly.

Foggy wrapped a gentle arm around him.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’d love to.” Foggy was smiling now. Matt felt himself mirror the expression; he couldn’t help it.

And suddenly they were 20 again, ordering a pizza and watching a movie, Foggy narrating absolutely everything, giving a constant commentary, and Matt. Matt just listened. He listened to the spark in Foggy’s voice, describing the special effects. Listened to his best friend’s heartbeat. Soft and steady.

The year of pain, fear, and grief seemed to be nothing anymore. Because Foggy was back, and Matt was no longer alone in this world. Sure, they’d talk about it later, that was inevitable. But for now, they could just act like old times. He’d long since zoned out the sounds of the movie, but he knew Foggy was muttering something in his direction. Something about lazy writing.

He smiled to himself.

Foggy’s back. 

[cannot-commit-to-reality]

Y’all I just wrote a 1k fix it fic for daredevil born again, you guys want it??

I might even post to ao3…

[cannot-commit-to-reality]

Gay af to be a chicken jockey. Why is your whole identity riding cock??

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daredevil nation, how we feeling after that finale??!??????

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CATHOLIC POCKET NINJA

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FOGGY IS MATTS DEAD WIFE CONFIRMED

Those flashbacks in 08 are so dead-wife coded it is unreal

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Still haven’t emotionally recovered from the first episode of born again, can we have some more Matt/foggy fics??

Pretty please? 🥺 comfort fics please??

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Hits different after born again

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🥺🥺🥺

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I miss my wife

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Just as a personal note -

Today I am 400 days clean from self harm. This is such a special milestone for me, and I’m genuinely happy about it.

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No way this was a real movie. No way.

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Obsessed with the updates my period tracker sends me

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Finally watching adolescence, damn this is good. I’m glad this issue is being brought to the spotlight, especially since this mentality has impacted me and people I know.