canonical-transformation - Tumblr blog

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I mean, what was Furina going to do, ask? And risk the terrifying dragon figuring out she wasn't the same woman who hired him? Absolutely not! She's far too careful.

[scene 2XXX]

Furina: "Goodness me, Mnsr Neuvillette, you've been here for the better part of a decade and we haven't once celebrated your birthday!"

Neuvillette: "Celebrating my... birthday? I wasn't aware that was part of my duties."

Furina: "Ah, my good Iudex, you've nothing to worry about. Now, I know you already had your birthday this year..."

Furina (aside): (The date of birth on his hiring papers was left blank, thanks a lot mirror-me. Nobody knows when his birthday is. But it's mid-December, so the odds are good his birthday already rolled around...)

Neuvillette: [blinking] "I... did?"

Furina (aside): (Dammit. Well, sounds like late December then.)

Furina: "Ahaha, just a little humour, never you mind."

Furina: "Anyway, I'll have someone buy candles. I'm thinking a thousand or so should last us a few years, at least, don't you think?"

Neuvillette (who has no idea how many candles are used in a birthday celebration): "I'm not entirely certain."

Furina (aside): (In the high hundreds? The thousands?? How!?)

Furina: "Ahaha, the look on your face! Don't worry, we've got far more than that. This is the Palais Mermonia, after all. I'll make sure we have ten thousand candles ready to go. That ought to be enough, yes?"

Neuvillette: [uncertainly] "...yes?"

@aeterna2186 he is, yeah, since we have confirmation from scylla that sovereign couldn't be born while egeria was alive. tho like, he is reincarnated and he got most of his memories back, so technically, he's as old as teyvat, but his current human shaped form is 500 at best, which in immortal dragon terms is very young.

no offense, but furina just doesn't know shit asdfghjk, its not her fault, focalors just obv didn't tell her anything. in the lantern rite dialogue she's obviously guessing, and she can't even recognize zhongli as an archon. so we can't really treat her word as a fact on ancient lore stuff.

like focalors assigned neuvi as chief justice and when he showed up, he was obv very powerful and initimaditing so furina probably just assumed he's very old god, but he was, in fact, like 20 yo at this point asdfghjk

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Based on a picture I saw on tumblr about them 😭 I think they are a cute rarepair. Oh by the way!! is a headcanon where barbara does a nursing internship in Liyue :] my bbys

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Artist

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Alone At Christmas? (MDZS)

Well. This is certainly a thing I just did.

Alone At Christmas? by @captain-apostrophe is a modern AU where A-Qing hires Xue Yang to freak out her family, but then it turns out her dads are super hot...

Fast forward a few months and I got the brilliant(?) idea to do a decorative stab binding, which is (originally) a traditional Asian bookbinding technique. There are many beautiful variations on it, so I figured, as I do, why not make it dicks? Why not make it three dicks? And what better story to do it with?

(yes, technically there are six dicks, but there are two stories so it's really three dicks per fic)

In combination with this ridiculous design, I decided to embrace both the Christmas theme and Xue Yang's trashiness and use Duo Pepperoni for the bookcloth, and some very, very interesting marbled endpapers we've nicknamed salami sandwich.

The typeset was lovingly made for me by @three--rings in the 2023 typesetting exchange. She preserved the ridiculousness as well as all of the author's hilarious Santa photos (which, WOW, that is a whole thing!).

I'm very happy to have this in my possession! Thank you @three--rings for the typeset, and thank you @captain-apostrophe for making me laugh for a good couple weeks after reading this. :D

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> be a humble fisherwoman of no renown

“I am, in fact, a humble fisherwoman of no renown,” you tell Fortune Preserver.

“You are... not Shenhe?”

“No, I am not," you lie.

The undead Adeptus lets go. “I will find Shenhe,” she tells you. “Then I will bring Shenhe to Bubu Pharmacy.”

“Alright,” you reply.

With your pursuer confounded, you quickly stride over and join the queue outside the grocery store.

You can see into the grocery store. There are many, many sacks of flour piled up on a far shelf.

That is good to see. However, the store is packed with people, and the line is barely moving.

This may be problematic. The longer you remain amidst the crowd, the greater the risk of inappropriate violence.

Standing in line is inefficient. You wonder if—

An icy hand on your wrist alerts you to Fortune Preserver's return.

“Shenhe has white hair and wears red ropes,” she informs you. Her voice is neither chiding nor approving. “You have white hair and wear red ropes. You are Shenhe. I will take you to Bubu Pharmacy now.”

She tries to tug you away from the queue but you resist.

(first | previous | #untitled shenhe game)

> head to a grocery store

Enough procrastinating. You are strong of heart. You will obtain your Noodles (and/or Flour), no matter how distressing the crowds.

You head towards Chihu Rock, where there are grocery stores with more sensible prices.

The smell of gailan and overpriced flour fades as you leave the fancy grocery store behind. (The smell of necrotic flesh and coconut milk does not fade. This is likely a sign that there is some carcass stuck to your spear.)

As you proceed, you encounter an obstacle. A wheel has fallen off a cart in the middle of the road. The crowd has slowed to a crawl around it, and some people are shouting angrily at the cart's owner. It is very difficult to get past.

(NOTE: "Go around" implies a detour. The other options are, of course, literal.)

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That is almost as mean as giving Diluc to Sigewinne xD

Adopt/adopt/adopt (Genshin)

The game is like "fuck/marry/kill", "isekai as/befriend/archenemy", etc.

You have to pick which Genshin character(*) gets adopted by (1) Cloud Retainer, (2) Arlecchino, and (3) a ship of your choice(**).

(* at any time in their lives where it makes a significant difference, e.g. post-Vision Hu Tao, post-fight Kaeya or Diluc, pre or post Tatarasuna Kabukimono, etc.)

(** fanon non-dysfunctional picks include Kavetham, Cynonari, a Lisa OT4, Beiguang. But if you want Chilumi Arlefuri Neuvichi Wriowinne yeah sure you do you)

@narcoticwriter @awake-my-oceans @emanation-aura @chrysoula @paragon-arthur hi! ty for putting this idea in my head. Eula Nahida Ruu

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Performance

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Adopt/adopt/adopt (Genshin)

The game is like "fuck/marry/kill", "isekai as/befriend/archenemy", etc.

You have to pick which Genshin character(*) gets adopted by (1) Cloud Retainer, (2) Arlecchino, and (3) a ship of your choice(**).

(* at any time in their lives where it makes a significant difference, e.g. post-Vision Hu Tao, post-fight Kaeya or Diluc, pre or post Tatarasuna Kabukimono, etc.)

(** fanon non-dysfunctional picks include Kavetham, Cynonari, a Lisa OT4, Beiguang. But if you want Chilumi Arlefuri Neuvichi Wriowinne yeah sure you do you)

@narcoticwriter @awake-my-oceans @emanation-aura @chrysoula @paragon-arthur hi! ty for putting this idea in my head. Eula Nahida Ruu

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wifey sketch!

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Look, I agree that trying to sell folks on original fiction by citing fanfic tropes is asinine, but at least "oh, it's got enemies to lovers!" tells you something substantive about the plot and characters. I once had somebody try to convince me to read a work of original fiction by telling me that it has a romance with a height gap.

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> keep walking to the grocery store

The hand tugging at your sleeve is strong. You are very strong too, so you are able to walk forward, but only slowly.

Your malefactor has Adeptal strength. Combined with the tiny fingers and black nail polish... and the smell of necrotic flesh and coconut milk... there is no doubt. You are certain this is none other than Fortune Preserver.

Fortune Preserver, the jiangshi Adeptus, cannot be reasoned with. She cannot be bargained with. She has incredible powers of perseverance.

> say you are not Shenhe

Your best option is to throw her off the trail.

“Who is Shenhe?” you say. “You have me confused with someone else.”

You avoid making eye contact. The better she can see your face, the harder it will be to trick her.

> be a humble fisherwoman of no renown

(first | previous | #untitled shenhe game)

> head to a grocery store

Enough procrastinating. You are strong of heart. You will obtain your Noodles (and/or Flour), no matter how distressing the crowds.

You head towards Chihu Rock, where there are grocery stores with more sensible prices.

The smell of gailan and overpriced flour fades as you leave the fancy grocery store behind. (The smell of necrotic flesh and coconut milk does not fade. This is likely a sign that there is some carcass stuck to your spear.)

As you proceed, you encounter an obstacle. A wheel has fallen off a cart in the middle of the road. The crowd has slowed to a crawl around it, and some people are shouting angrily at the cart's owner. It is very difficult to get past.

(NOTE: "Go around" implies a detour. The other options are, of course, literal.)

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the whole point of a zine is that it's cheap to produce, amateur and homemade. if you're being asked to apply to participate in a print project, it is not a zine. if the final product is being printed and bound professionally, it is not a zine. if you are being asked to enter into any kind of licensing agreement more complex than "my work can be reproduced as part of this publication" it is not a zine. nine times put of ten if the final product costs more than $5 you have left zine country. im so serious about this.

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IT'S HER DAY!!!!!

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BEIDOU

❌️ pls no reupload

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;o;