cant-buy-me-meth

[cant-buy-me-meth]

September 12, 2017

Be Afraid (2017)

“John begins to experience sleep paralysis, and as he lies in bed paralyzed, entities that exist in the darkest shadows of the night visit him. John’s horror intensifies when he learns that the beings plan to abduct his 7-year-old son.”

Genre: Horror

Where: Netflix

Comments: I didn’t like this one that much. It felt a little too much like a made for TV movie. I wasn’t engaged by the storyline and I would find myself distracted by other things like my phone or folding laundry while watching. I found the ending a little predictable too.

Rating: 2/5

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September 11, 2017

Hotel Transylvania 2 (2015)

“Now that Dracula has opened the Hotel Transylvania’s doors to humans, things are changing for the better; however, Drac is secretly worried that his half-human grandson, Dennis, isn’t showing his vampire side. So, while Mavis and Johnny are away, Drac enlists his friends to help him put the boy through a “monster-in-training” boot camp. But things really get batty when Drac’s cantankerous, old-school dad pays an unexpected visit.“

Genre: Animation

Where: Netflix

Comments: This movie was not as good as the original film. It felt like there was a movie missing between this one and the first. I would’ve liked to have seen a movie dedicated to Mavis and Johnny's wedding instead of a future jump to them married with children.

Rating: 3/5

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September 10, 2017

Hotel Transylvania (2012)

“When monsters want to get away from it all, they go to Count Dracula’s Hotel Transylvania, a lavish resort where they can be themselves without humans around to bother them. On one special weekend, Dracula invites creatures like the Invisible Man, the Mummy and others to celebrate the 118th birthday of his daughter, Mavis. However, an unforeseen complication unfolds when an ordinary human unwittingly crashes the party and falls in love with Mavis.”

Genre: Animation

Where: Netflix

Comments: I’ve seen this one before and it’s still one of my favorites. The expression on Drac’s face when he realized that the humans were cheering for him was priceless. Yeah, I love this movie.

Rating: 5/5

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September 9, 2017

Tropic Thunder (2008)

“Tugg Speedman, pampered action superstar, sets out for Southeast Asia to take part in the biggest, most-expensive war movie produced, but soon after filming begins, he and his co-stars, Oscar-winner Kirk Lazarus, comic Jeff Portnoy and the rest of the crew, must become real soldiers when fighting breaks out in that part of the jungle.”

Genre: Comedy

Where: Netflix

Comments: This movie was so stupid and I loved it. Robert Downey Jr. was great in this. I can’t believe this film came out the same year as Iron Man.

Rating: 3/5

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September 8, 2017

Minions (2015)

“Evolving from single-celled yellow organisms at the dawn of time, Minions live to serve, but find themselves working for a continual series of unsuccessful masters, from T. Rex to Napoleon. Without a master to grovel for, the Minions fall into a deep depression. But one minion, Kevin, has a plan; accompanied by his pals Stuart and Bob, Kevin sets forth to find a new evil boss for his brethren to follow. Their search leads them to Scarlet Overkill, the world’s first-ever super-villainess.”

Genre: Animation

Where: Netflix

Comments: This was way more entertaining and cuter than I thought it would be. I'm not a huge fan of Sandra Bullock but I liked her voice acting in this film.

Rating: 3/5

[cant-buy-me-meth]

September 7, 2017

Once Bitten (1985)

“A centuries-old vampire, the countess has kept her youthful look by drinking the blood of male virgins. Since she finds this prey challenging to come by, she is thrilled when she meets young Mark Kendall, who wants to lose his virginity, yet has a reluctant girlfriend, Robin. After luring Mark away from a club, the countess drinks his blood, but the hapless guy isn’t sure what has happened until he starts exhibiting unusual symptoms.”

Genre: Comedy

Where: TubiTV

Comments: This was another good horror comedy from the 80s. My favorite part was the dance off in the gym. Jim Carey put in a great performance.

Rating: 4/5

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September 6, 2017

The Gate (1987)

“When Al and Glenn’s parent’s leave town for the weekend, Al uses the opportunity to throw a party while little brother Glenn and his friend Terry decide to explore a hole left by a tree-removal service in the backyard. When unexplainable phenomena begin occurring, Terry – with the help of his extensive heavy-metal music collection – comes to the conclusion that he and Glenn have accidentally opened a gateway to hell.”

Genre: Horror

Where: TubiTV

Comments: Great movie, and even though I’ve seen it before I found that I had forgotten a lot about it on my second viewing. Loved the ending.

Rating: 4/5

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September 5, 2017

Labyrinth (1986)

“A 16-year-old girl is given 13 hours to solve a labyrinth and rescue her baby brother when her wish for him to be taken away is granted by the Goblin King.”

Genre: Fantasy

Where: YouTube

Comments: A little too many muppets in this film for my taste but still a good film. David Bowie was great in it.

Rating: 3/5

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September 4, 2017

Demonic (2015)

“A police officer and a psychologist investigate the deaths of five people who were killed while trying to summon ghosts.”

Genre: Horror

Where: Netflix

Comments: This was an odd one, but it was very creepy and much better than I expected. The twist at the end is a little predictable but it plays out in an oddly satisfying manner.

Rating: 3/5

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September 3, 2017

Love at First Bite (1979)

“When the government of Transylvania appropriates his castle, Count Dracula is obliged to relocate and decides to give New York City a try. He suffers all manner of adjustment problems, but finds solace in a new relationship with Cindy Sondheim. Unfortunately, her fiancé, Dr. Jeff Rosenberg, is a direct descendant of Dracula’s old nemesis, Van Helsing, and is prepared to do whatever is necessary to stop his undead rival.”

Genre: Comedy

Where: YouTube

Comments: I loved this movie. It was funny, dumb, and bizarrely romantic in all the right places.

Rating: 4/5

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September 2, 2017

Leviathan (1989)

“Hired by Martin, the head of a major corporation, a crew including geologist Steven Beck descends to the ocean’s depths for a mining project. When the undersea explorers find a sunken ship and investigate, they inadvertently bring a malevolent life form on board their vessel. The creature kills some crew members and causes them to mutate, resulting in a battle for survival against an unknown force far below the surface of the ocean.”

Genre: Horror

Where: TubiTV

Comments: This film was a cheesy 80s rip off of Alien, but it was still fun to watch. The one liners are especially campy and stupid fun. I didn't find it scary at all.

Rating: 2.5/5

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September 1, 2017

Final Girl (2015)

“Veronica, the new girl in town, is lured into the woods by a group of senior boys looking to make her a victim. But the boys don’t know that Veronica’s been trained to handle herself in surprisingly lethal ways.”

Genre: Thriller

Where: Netflix

Comments: There were a few scenes that were lovely to look at but pretty much everything else was disappointing. A kick ass killer girl, one who murders other killers, of course has to trained by a man. The same man who is constantly backlit with white light to imply that he's god in her world, and the same man whom she is in love with, so yeah, disappointing.

Rating: 2/5

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August 31, 2017 Desperately Seeking Susan (1985) "New Jersey housewife Roberta Glass spices up her boring life by reading personal ads, especially a series of them being placed by a mysterious denizen of New York City named Susan. When one of Susan's ads proposes a rendezvous with her suitor at Battery Park, Roberta secretly tags along. But when her voyeuristic jape ends in permanent memory loss and a new jacket, Roberta begins to gather a lot of unwanted attention from some unsavory characters." Genre: Comedy Where: TubiTV Comments: omg this movie was so boring and poor Madonna. She really can't act. I did make it all the way through the film in one sitting but it was a struggle. Rating: 2/5

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August 30, 2017

We Are Still Here (2015)

“In the cold, wintery fields of New England, a lonely old house wakes up every thirty years - and demands a sacrifice.”

Genre: Horror

Where: Netflix

Comments: This film was much sadder than I expected and I really felt for the characters. The film had a nice bittersweet ending. Definitely one that will linger in the memory long after you watch it.

Rating: 3/5

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August 29, 2017

The Babadook (2014)

“A single mother, plagued by the violent death of her husband, battles with her son’s fear of a monster lurking in the house, but soon discovers a sinister presence all around her.”

Genre: Horror

Where: Netflix

Comments: An okay film with some pretty solid performances from the actors. How and why the Babadook became a gay icon? The world may never know.

Rating: 3/5

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August 28, 2017

The Devil’s Backbone (2001)

“After losing his father, 10-year-old Carlos arrives at the Santa Lucia School, which shelters orphans of the Republican militia and politicians, and is taken in by the steely headmistress, Carmen, and the kindly professor, Casares. Soon after his arrival, Carlos has a run-in with the violent caretaker, Jacinto. Gradually, Carlos uncovers the secrets of the school, including the youthful ghost that wanders the grounds.”

Genre: Horror

Where: Shudder

Comments: Guillermo del Toro’s masterpiece and easily my favorite film that he has created so far. I know the narration at the end by heart, and will randomly recite it whenever the mood strikes me, much to the horror of my friends. lol

Rating: 5/5

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August 27, 2017 Battle Royale II: Requiem (2003) "Three years after the events of the first film, the survivors of previous Battle Royales have formed a rebel group called the Wild Seven which is led by Shuya Nanahara. A class of teenagers from Shikanotoride Junior High School are kidnapped by the Japanese government. Instead of stereotypically studious Japanese students, these ninth graders are 'a ragtag collection of delinquents and losers from all over Japan.'" Genre: Science Fiction Where: Shudder Comments: Not as good as the original film and I think this one was a little more comical. I still enjoyed watching it, tho. 3/5