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[caperingcryptid]

My darling death girl. <3 Very pleased with how the commission turned out!

I’m sooo proud of this piece and I had so much fun doing it! This is a commission for the wonderful @caperingcryptid. My (newly redesigned) watermark is more disruptive than usual since this is a commission!!

[caperingcryptid]

"you should be at the club" i should be in the woods. performing the ritual.

[caperingcryptid]

My teeth found purchase in the soft slip of god I held between them. Its flesh was tender and gamey, and as the fat of milleniums melted on my tongue, I was blessed with the understanding that this was what it was like to be adored. I felt, for the first time, an unfathomable awareness of my place in the world, and I was in that moment content. My eyes pricked with tears, and I set aside my meal, resting my face in my hands.

“First time, huh?” One of the other deckhands smiled at me, doing nothing to take from the biting amusement in his eyes. He slapped me on the back. “It gets easier after the first couple of times. Loses some of that punch. Don't even worry about it.”

I said nothing. The taste of the divine felt obscene mixed in with the sickening sweet of my soda.

“If you're not gonna finish that, you mind if I have it? I'm still starving.”

“Knock yourself out.” I pushed the plate over without a glance, and heard him promptly descend upon it like a vulture.

It would be easier if we were vultures too. The first Hunters were: they happened upon the fresh corpse of the god of Things That Were Lost, descended upon it, and carved everything up into little bits and pieces. Back in those days, nothing went to waste. Everything was studied and revered and, yes, worshipped. Though the god could no longer grant prayers, in their remains countless scientists, politicians, and even clergy found them anyway.

There's still bits of the first fallen god's bones scattered across museums. Revered, as they should be.

Now we just let them sink.

I jerked as the alarm screamed to life above me. “We got another one!” The captain shouted through the intercom. “Everyone to their stations! This one's feisty!”

We obediently rushed out of the dining hall, some of us grabbing our coats as we went, others leaving them where they lay. As we ascended to the deck, I saw it: tangled in the nets of our entire fleet, crying out in a voice like all of earth's orchestras, was a fledgling god.

And oh, it was truly beautiful, even in its anguish. Its thousands of eyes rolled helplessly in its sockets. Its limbs pressed taut against their bindings as it thrashed, drowning out the great vastness of the sky with its boundless presence. I let out a low moan in spite of myself, but went to work. This was still my job, after all, and it paid well.

We fire sin-laded harpoons, one after the other, into its body. Iridescent blood came down like rainfall. My clothes were soaked in it.

After a few more well-placed harpoons, it came down, too.

What always managed to be worse than the murder was the defilement. We leapt overboard onto a carcass still warm and twitching with life, and took to it with hatchets and machetes. We carved away bits and pieces to fit into our bright yellow boxes, and, hundreds of miles away from here, they would be cleaned for meat and medicine, refined into pet food. We drilled piping into its veins to draw its blood into our barrels. We'd keep a few to fuel our ships, and send the rest back home.

It would be months before we'd taken all the body could give, and then we would leave it to be picked upon by whatever else lived here in the space between stars. Another deckhand saw me staring down at my soaked gloves, and smiled as he clapped me on the shoulder.

“It gets easier after the first couple of times,” he said. ”Don't even worry about it.”

I had to believe him. It was my job, and it paid well, and it was us or them, at the end of the day.

The taste of the divine was still bitter on my tongue, but when dinner came, fresh from our hard day of labor, I left nothing on my plate.

A fantasy world with an industrial revolution, where Gods are hunted like whales were.

[caperingcryptid]

if anyone wants the secret to writing: you have to break your leg and then drink a thermos of coffee and then drink an apple martini and then listen to a playlist of Japanese synth music while ignoring your bladder. after all that, you will be able to write 500 words

[caperingcryptid]

As an additional note, the piece on the right exclusively used colors from one of the palettes found here, by @fivepointpalettes! It was a fun little challenge to do.

I guess you're wondering where I've been...

[caperingcryptid]

I guess you're wondering where I've been...

[caperingcryptid]

As I've gotten older and started trying to get into drawing after years of waffling about it, something that I've really come to appreciate online is art by people who are still learning the ropes. There's something really nice to see about fanart or other drawings where they might not be perfect marvels, but the artist put so much love and care into them and was eager to share that with other people, or fanfiction and writing that has its issues but has so much personality in it.

We're all learning together at the end of the day, and your sparkledogs and Mary Sues and edgelords and whatnot are all lovely because they're the product of passion.

Good job, artists. Keep up the hard work.

[caperingcryptid]

words of affirmation i repeat on the daily

[caperingcryptid]

[caperingcryptid]

🎮 HEY I WANNA MAKE A GAME! 🎮

Yeah I getcha. I was once like you. Pure and naive. Great news. I AM STILL PURE AND NAIVE, GAME DEV IS FUN! But where to start?

To start, here are a couple of entry level softwares you can use! source: I just made a game called In Stars and Time and people are asking me how to start making vidy gaems. Now, without further ado:

SOFTWARES AND ENGINES FOR PEOPLE WHO DON'T KNOW HOW TO CODE!!!

Ren'py (and also a link to it if you click here do it): THE visual novel software. Comic artists, look no further ✨Pros: It's free! It's simple! It has great documentation! It has a bunch of plugins and UI stuff and assets for you to buy! It can be used even if you have LITERALLY no programming experience! (You'll just need to read the doc a bunch) You can also port your game to a BUNCH of consoles! ✨Cons: None really <3 Some games to look at: Doki Doki Literature Club, Bad End Theater, Butterfly Soup

Twine: Great for text-based games! GREAT FOR WRITERS WHO DONT WANNA DRAW!!!!!!!!! (but you can draw if you want) ✨Pros: It's free! It's simple! It's versatile! It has great documentation! It can be used even if you have LITERALLY no programming experience! (You'll just need to read the doc a bunch) ✨Cons: You can add pictures, but it's a pain. Some games to look at: The Uncle Who Works For Nintendo, Queers In love At The End of The World, Escape Velocity

Bitsy: Little topdown games! ✨Pros: It's free! It's simple! It's (somewhat) intuitive! It has great documentation! It can be used even if you have LITERALLY no programming experience! You can make everything in it, from text to sprites to code! Those games sure are small! ✨Cons: Those games sure are small. This is to make THE simplest game. Barely any animation for your sprites, can barely fit a line of text in there. But honestly, the restrictions are refreshing! Some games to look at: honestly I haven't played that many bitsy games because i am a fake gamer. The picture above is from Under A Star Called Sun though and that looks so pretty

RPGMaker: To make RPGs! LIKE ME!!!!! NOTE: I recommend getting the latest version if you can, but all have their pros and cons. You can get a better idea by looking at this post. ✨Pros: Literally everything you need to make an RPG. Has a tutorial inside the software itself that will teach you the basics. Pretty simple to understand, even if you have no coding experience! Also I made a post helping you out with RPGMaker right here! ✨Cons: Some stuff can be hard to figure out. Also, the latest version is expensive. Get it on sale! Some games to look at: Ib, Hylics, In Stars and Time (hehe. I made it)

engine.lol: collage worlds! it is relatively new so I don't know much about it, but it seems fascinating. picture is from Garden! NOTE: There's a bunch of smaller engines to find out there. Just yesterday I found out there's an Idle Game Maker made by the Cookie Clicker creator. Isn't life wonderful?

✨more advice under the cut. this is Long ok✨

ENGINES I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT AND THEY SEEM HARD BUT ALSO GIVE IT A TRY I GUESS!!!! :

Unity and Unreal: I don't know anything about those! That looks hard to learn! But indie devs use them! It seems expensive! Follow your dreams though! Don't ask me how!

GameMaker: Wuh I just don't know anything about it either! I just know it's now free if your game is non-commercial (aka, you're not selling it), and Undertale was made on it! It seems good! You probably need some coding experience though!!!

Godot: Man I know even less about this one. Heard good things though!

BUNCHA RANDOM ADVICE!!!!

-Make something small first! Try making simple: a character is in a room, and exits the room. The character can look around, decide to take an item with them, can leave, and maybe the door is locked and you have to find the key. Figuring out how to code something like that, whether it is as a fully text-based game or as an RPGMaker map, should be a good start to figure out how your software of choice works!

-After that, if you have an idea, try first to make the simplest version of that idea. For my timeloop RPG, my simplest version was two rooms: first room you can walk in, second room with the King, where a cutscene automatically plays and the battle starts, you immediately die, and loop back to the first room, with the text from this point on reflecting this change. I think I also added a loop counter. This helped me figure out the most important thing: Can This Game Be Made? After that, the rest is just fun stuff. So if you want to make a dating sim, try and figure out how to add choices, and how to have affection points go up and down depending on your choices! If you want to make a platformer, figure out how to make your character move and jump and how to create a simple level! If you just want to make a kinetic visual novel with no choices, figure out how to add text, and how to add portraits! You'll be surprised at how powerful you'll feel after having figured even those simple things out.

-If you have a programming problem or just get confused, never underestimate the power of asking Google! You most likely won't be the only person asking this question, and you will learn some useful tips! If you are powerful enough, you can even… Ask people??? On forums??? Not me though.

-Yeah I know you probably want to make Your Big Idea RIGHT NOW but please. Make a smaller prototype first. You need to get that experience. Trust me.

-If you are not a womanthing of many skills like me, you might realize you need help. Maybe you need an artist, or a programmer. So! Game jams on itch.io are a great way to get to work and meet other game devs that have different strengths! Or ask around! Maybe your artist friend secretly always wanted to draw for a game. Ask! Collaborate! Have fun!!!

I hope that was useful! If it was. Maybe. You'd like to buy me a coffee. Or maybe you could check out my comics and games. Or just my new critically acclaimed game In Stars and Time. If you want. Ok bye

[caperingcryptid]

And here's the AO3 link, for people who prefer to read their fanfiction over there!

Parasites and Philosophy

A 1676 word oneshot featuring Astarion and a Gender Neutral Dark Urge.

I wrote this with a more platonic dynamic in mind, but a romantic reading is also entirely valid, if that's more your cup of tea.

Parasites and Philosophy They had done good today. If they had any doubt about that in their mind, it was dashed at the sight of the bobbing lights in the distance, moving up the road to Baldur's Gate like blood through veins…though of course, that would've scratched the deep-seated itch in the back of their mind far better than those living, happy, breathing people.

It would've been so easy to stem that lifeblood that were those drifting travelers. A few itty bitty throats slit, maybe one or two bellies shredded, and they would be little more than piles of satisfying meat cast from here to there. In their mind's eye, the Dark Urge saw themselves prancing among the newly dead, cracking bones under their feet like autumn leaves. They might even be so overtaken with delight that they'd sweep one of the corpses into their arms, and waltz them lazily across the spoiled dirt.

What would it be like, they wondered, to have gone down that path? Would the guilt eat at them as it had so many times before, when they felt no better than a rabid mutt in desperate need of being put down? Would the anguish outweigh the satisfaction, making them feel like a sapient being rather than the slavering mutt that they were to their urges?

Or would it feel like coming home? Would they feel the weight of conscience fall off their shoulders, giving them the blessed relief they'd been yearning for since the moment they stepped out of that mindflayer pod? They weren't sure of the answer, and they weren't sure whether they wanted to know, either. They'd come to find that the more they learned, the more they desperately wished that they didn't.

Memory, knowing, was the worst thing of all. The more that came back to them, the more that those Urges reared their great and ghastly head, the more that sickening blend of horror and pleasure overcame them. Perhaps it would be better to leave while they still had the chance (before their allies' good faith in them finally curdled, as it should have before). They'd tuck the artifact back into Shadowheart's bag where it belonged, or Lae'zel's, and let the parasite nursing behind their eye finally come to fruition.

Or maybe, a voice whispered in the back of their mind, they could do them all a favor. Their allies, too, were poor, troubled things. If they were going to turn tail and run, then it'd be the kindest thing to do to put everyone else out of their misery too. It would be the end of their worries. After all, you couldn't be haunted by the ghosts of your past if there was no flesh and blood left for them to haunt at all.

And it'd be so lovely. They'd learned so much about their team in the time since they'd banded together, but the more…literal mysteries of their hearts were still beyond them. They wanted to taste their blood. To know them inside and out (ha ha). They would make such perfectly pretty corpses, they were sure.

“Now what are you doing all the way out here?”

Speaking of perfectly pretty corpses…

They started guiltily, as if they'd been caught elbows deep in gore rather than staring off into the middle distance. Behind them, lips curled in a wry smile, stood Astarion, eyes gleaming in the dark like those of a woodland beast's.

“Here I was, looking for a quick bite, and what do I find but an empty bedroll where our darling little leader should be?“ He smirked. ”I thought I may as well come looking for you. Wouldn't want to find you ravaging another bard, now, would we?“

The Dark Urge flinched as if struck. The wounded guilt they felt must have been written all over their face, because with a sigh, Astarion relented. He took a seat by the Urge with a languid stretch of his legs. ”Really, though, what are you doing? We've already said our goodbyes to them. Do you expect them all to wander themselves off into oblivion down there?“

”I was just worried about them. They seem so…small, down there.“ Yes. Small. Pitiful. Vulnerable, even. As if they could crush them all in the palm of their hand.

”Oh, please. They're not a flock of schoolchildren. I'm sure they can handle themselves.“

”They do have children with them.“

”And you don't think they'll all gladly put their lives on the line to look after them? I doubt they're down there planning on making meat shields out of them. You need to stop fussing so much.”

Though the Dark Urge had the distinct feeling that Astarion enjoyed the sound of his own voice just as much as he enjoyed the finer things in life (which he'd probably argue were the same thing, they thought, wryly), he fell silent for a moment. They looked upon the bobbing lights together, watching as they grew smaller: from fireflies to starlight.

“Now, I'm no mind reader,” said Astarion, “but I doubt that's the only thing running through that sordid little mind of yours. What is it?”

“More of the usual, I guess.”

“Well, don't hold back on my account. I'm hardly squeamish.“

Another grimace. ”There's…that,” they admitted, “but it's more…”

The Dark Urge sighed. “…Do you think that if a person does everything they can do to be good, they can be? Even if they…weren't good before, or…”

Or still aren't, now. Or if they're just playing pretend.

Astarion scoffed. “I'm not a philosopher, darling. If you wanted someone to lecture you on 'right' or 'wrong', you'd want Wyll, not me. Or- well, I'm sure Gale would find something to talk your ear off about all that.”

“Yeah. Sorry.”

The lights had nearly faded to nothing at this point. It was only when they had vanished around the hillside that Astarion spoke again.

“I can't tell you what they'd say,” he said, “but I'll tell you this: no matter how much you flagellate yourself, it won't change whatever it was you've done before. It won't bring that poor girl Alfira back from the dead-” they winced, but Astarion went on- “it won't wash the blood from your hands, and it most certainly won't change what you are.”

“A monster?”

“Mad, certainly, but as much a monster as I am. Make of that what you will.” Astarion flicked a gloved wrist dismissively in their direction. “Though I will say that what you've done hasn't changed what you're doing, either. If I was one of those sad, helpless refugees down there, I'd think you were a saint. I'm sure they were a step away from-” He gestured. “hoisting you upon their shoulders and parading you up and down the hills, if they hadn't been so drunk they couldn't walk straight.”

“I understand them, but I still don't understand why everyone else has been so…forgiving, towards me.” The Urge stared down at their hands. “They saw what I did to Alfira. They've seen what I am. They know. Yet they…”

“They act as if you're some sort of blessing from the gods? Believe me, I've noticed.” Astarion rolled his eyes. ”They might be in denial. Or- frankly- they all might be too much of freaks to say much about you.“

”I killed an innocent girl!“

”Denial, freaks, or both. Pick your poison.“

They didn't have an answer to that. Not any good one, at least.

”We may all have parasites cozying up in our heads, yes,“ said Astarion, ”but we've all been given second chances.“ A shadow crossed his face. ”Some of us more than others.

”What matters, darling, is that we make the most of it that we can, while we can. What that means to you is your business, not mine.“

Astarion made a face. ”Even if it means you have to drag us into your charity cases.“

They didn't smile. They couldn't. Half of their mind imagined what it would be like to dig their fingers deep into those gleaming eyes and pull. The other half was still nursing that sense of self-horror.

Their shoulders loosened just a little, though.

”Thank you,“ they said. ”I can't promise you we won't be doing more charity cases-“

”Of course you won't.“

”But…thank you.“

They lapsed into silence again. When the Dark Urge broke it, it was with a hesitance that made their teeth itch.

”Astarion?“

”Hm?“

”Can I ask you a favor?“

”Well, you can ask anything, but whether I'll take you up on it is another matter entirely.“

They pressed their lips together.

”Can you…can you hold me? For just a moment?“ They were quick to add, ”You don't have to, of course. But…“

“…Is that all?” Astarion arched a brow. The Urge nodded. Their eyes fell to his shoulder, back to their hands, to anywhere that wasn't his face. It wasn't too much of a favor objectively, perhaps, but with someone like him you never knew.

Indeed, for a moment, Astarion only looked at them. The silence seemed to stretch on into eternity, long enough that they were sure he would scoff and wave them off, or point out the grime in their clothes, or-

“Yes. Yes, I can hold you.”

Astarion stretched out his arms, paused mid-way, then, carefully, as if touching a vase, placed them around their shoulders. Even through their clothes, his hands were ice cold. The Dark Urge drew in a sharp breath, returning the gesture, leaning into him.

They sat there for a while: two people who, by all rights, didn't deserve the chance that life had handed to them, but had it all the same.

In the distance, the sun began to crest over the horizon.

[caperingcryptid]

Parasites and Philosophy

A 1676 word oneshot featuring Astarion and a Gender Neutral Dark Urge.

I wrote this with a more platonic dynamic in mind, but a romantic reading is also entirely valid, if that's more your cup of tea.

Parasites and Philosophy They had done good today. If they had any doubt about that in their mind, it was dashed at the sight of the bobbing lights in the distance, moving up the road to Baldur's Gate like blood through veins…though of course, that would've scratched the deep-seated itch in the back of their mind far better than those living, happy, breathing people.

It would've been so easy to stem that lifeblood that were those drifting travelers. A few itty bitty throats slit, maybe one or two bellies shredded, and they would be little more than piles of satisfying meat cast from here to there. In their mind's eye, the Dark Urge saw themselves prancing among the newly dead, cracking bones under their feet like autumn leaves. They might even be so overtaken with delight that they'd sweep one of the corpses into their arms, and waltz them lazily across the spoiled dirt.

What would it be like, they wondered, to have gone down that path? Would the guilt eat at them as it had so many times before, when they felt no better than a rabid mutt in desperate need of being put down? Would the anguish outweigh the satisfaction, making them feel like a sapient being rather than the slavering mutt that they were to their urges?

Or would it feel like coming home? Would they feel the weight of conscience fall off their shoulders, giving them the blessed relief they'd been yearning for since the moment they stepped out of that mindflayer pod? They weren't sure of the answer, and they weren't sure whether they wanted to know, either. They'd come to find that the more they learned, the more they desperately wished that they didn't.

Memory, knowing, was the worst thing of all. The more that came back to them, the more that those Urges reared their great and ghastly head, the more that sickening blend of horror and pleasure overcame them. Perhaps it would be better to leave while they still had the chance (before their allies' good faith in them finally curdled, as it should have before). They'd tuck the artifact back into Shadowheart's bag where it belonged, or Lae'zel's, and let the parasite nursing behind their eye finally come to fruition.

Or maybe, a voice whispered in the back of their mind, they could do them all a favor. Their allies, too, were poor, troubled things. If they were going to turn tail and run, then it'd be the kindest thing to do to put everyone else out of their misery too. It would be the end of their worries. After all, you couldn't be haunted by the ghosts of your past if there was no flesh and blood left for them to haunt at all.

And it'd be so lovely. They'd learned so much about their team in the time since they'd banded together, but the more…literal mysteries of their hearts were still beyond them. They wanted to taste their blood. To know them inside and out (ha ha). They would make such perfectly pretty corpses, they were sure.

“Now what are you doing all the way out here?”

Speaking of perfectly pretty corpses…

They started guiltily, as if they'd been caught elbows deep in gore rather than staring off into the middle distance. Behind them, lips curled in a wry smile, stood Astarion, eyes gleaming in the dark like those of a woodland beast's.

“Here I was, looking for a quick bite, and what do I find but an empty bedroll where our darling little leader should be?“ He smirked. ”I thought I may as well come looking for you. Wouldn't want to find you ravaging another bard, now, would we?“

The Dark Urge flinched as if struck. The wounded guilt they felt must have been written all over their face, because with a sigh, Astarion relented. He took a seat by the Urge with a languid stretch of his legs. ”Really, though, what are you doing? We've already said our goodbyes to them. Do you expect them all to wander themselves off into oblivion down there?“

”I was just worried about them. They seem so…small, down there.“ Yes. Small. Pitiful. Vulnerable, even. As if they could crush them all in the palm of their hand.

”Oh, please. They're not a flock of schoolchildren. I'm sure they can handle themselves.“

”They do have children with them.“

”And you don't think they'll all gladly put their lives on the line to look after them? I doubt they're down there planning on making meat shields out of them. You need to stop fussing so much.”

Though the Dark Urge had the distinct feeling that Astarion enjoyed the sound of his own voice just as much as he enjoyed the finer things in life (which he'd probably argue were the same thing, they thought, wryly), he fell silent for a moment. They looked upon the bobbing lights together, watching as they grew smaller: from fireflies to starlight.

“Now, I'm no mind reader,” said Astarion, “but I doubt that's the only thing running through that sordid little mind of yours. What is it?”

“More of the usual, I guess.”

“Well, don't hold back on my account. I'm hardly squeamish.“

Another grimace. ”There's…that,” they admitted, “but it's more…”

The Dark Urge sighed. “…Do you think that if a person does everything they can do to be good, they can be? Even if they…weren't good before, or…”

Or still aren't, now. Or if they're just playing pretend.

Astarion scoffed. “I'm not a philosopher, darling. If you wanted someone to lecture you on 'right' or 'wrong', you'd want Wyll, not me. Or- well, I'm sure Gale would find something to talk your ear off about all that.”

“Yeah. Sorry.”

The lights had nearly faded to nothing at this point. It was only when they had vanished around the hillside that Astarion spoke again.

“I can't tell you what they'd say,” he said, “but I'll tell you this: no matter how much you flagellate yourself, it won't change whatever it was you've done before. It won't bring that poor girl Alfira back from the dead-” they winced, but Astarion went on- “it won't wash the blood from your hands, and it most certainly won't change what you are.”

“A monster?”

“Mad, certainly, but as much a monster as I am. Make of that what you will.” Astarion flicked a gloved wrist dismissively in their direction. “Though I will say that what you've done hasn't changed what you're doing, either. If I was one of those sad, helpless refugees down there, I'd think you were a saint. I'm sure they were a step away from-” He gestured. “hoisting you upon their shoulders and parading you up and down the hills, if they hadn't been so drunk they couldn't walk straight.”

“I understand them, but I still don't understand why everyone else has been so…forgiving, towards me.” The Urge stared down at their hands. “They saw what I did to Alfira. They've seen what I am. They know. Yet they…”

“They act as if you're some sort of blessing from the gods? Believe me, I've noticed.” Astarion rolled his eyes. ”They might be in denial. Or- frankly- they all might be too much of freaks to say much about you.“

”I killed an innocent girl!“

”Denial, freaks, or both. Pick your poison.“

They didn't have an answer to that. Not any good one, at least.

”We may all have parasites cozying up in our heads, yes,“ said Astarion, ”but we've all been given second chances.“ A shadow crossed his face. ”Some of us more than others.

”What matters, darling, is that we make the most of it that we can, while we can. What that means to you is your business, not mine.“

Astarion made a face. ”Even if it means you have to drag us into your charity cases.“

They didn't smile. They couldn't. Half of their mind imagined what it would be like to dig their fingers deep into those gleaming eyes and pull. The other half was still nursing that sense of self-horror.

Their shoulders loosened just a little, though.

”Thank you,“ they said. ”I can't promise you we won't be doing more charity cases-“

”Of course you won't.“

”But…thank you.“

They lapsed into silence again. When the Dark Urge broke it, it was with a hesitance that made their teeth itch.

”Astarion?“

”Hm?“

”Can I ask you a favor?“

”Well, you can ask anything, but whether I'll take you up on it is another matter entirely.“

They pressed their lips together.

”Can you…can you hold me? For just a moment?“ They were quick to add, ”You don't have to, of course. But…“

“…Is that all?” Astarion arched a brow. The Urge nodded. Their eyes fell to his shoulder, back to their hands, to anywhere that wasn't his face. It wasn't too much of a favor objectively, perhaps, but with someone like him you never knew.

Indeed, for a moment, Astarion only looked at them. The silence seemed to stretch on into eternity, long enough that they were sure he would scoff and wave them off, or point out the grime in their clothes, or-

“Yes. Yes, I can hold you.”

Astarion stretched out his arms, paused mid-way, then, carefully, as if touching a vase, placed them around their shoulders. Even through their clothes, his hands were ice cold. The Dark Urge drew in a sharp breath, returning the gesture, leaning into him.

They sat there for a while: two people who, by all rights, didn't deserve the chance that life had handed to them, but had it all the same.

In the distance, the sun began to crest over the horizon.

[caperingcryptid]

OK Tumblr Geriatric Ward, let’s talk about your posture-

there are things you should be doing now to prevent yourself from starting to look like 🥀

Why does it matter? Future you would like to avoid the pain, limited motion, and fall risk that goes along with worsening posture.

What’s the focus?

1. Keep the flexibility in your spine

2. Stretch the muscles in the front

3. Strengthen the muscle in the back

Here are some simple things you can do daily while sitting and when you get up to go into the bathroom or the kitchen

Keep the flexibility by doing these repeated movements: 10 repetitions several times a day

The goal is to give yourself a double or triple chin. Keep your nose pointing forward, don’t let it tip up or down

Thoracic extension- use a chair with a seat back that comes up to the level of your shoulder blades. Try to bend back over the top of the chair without arching away from the seat back and without extending your neck. If the pressure from the top of the chair is uncomfortable you can place a towel there

Stretch the muscles in the front by using a door frame. This one will feel good afterwards

If this isn’t enough of a stretch you can do one side at a time. If you have the right arm up step forward with the right foot and turn slightly to the left. Then do it on the other side.

Strengthen the muscles in the back by squeezing your shoulder blades together for a count of 10 and then repeating 10 times. You can do this several times a day Hint: Don’t lift your shoulder blades up

There are lots more exercises for strengthening your back muscles but this is a good starting point and easy to do. I like doing it while driving

Tips:

Do the best you can

If it hurts stop

Envision future you saying thank you each time you do one of the exercises

[caperingcryptid]

Father Zombie

Father Zombie, teeth all red, what worms churn softly inside your head? What deep dark secrets in your sleep do you pray the lord your soul to keep?

Father Zombie, dearest do, What should I have said to you? What is it that caused such a fuss, that brought your rotten lips to fin'lly hush?

Father Zombie, you shamble right down the street of this darkest night. I mourn what was, my father dear, as if the flesh blood you might reappear.

Father Zombie, putrid rank, apple pie and eyes all blank. Off you go to chew on skulls, to huff and scream until you lull.

Father Zombie, dearest do, What should I have said to you? Goodbye, dear zombie, and off you go, off to reap what you have sown.

[caperingcryptid]

Existential despair is so common in a person's twenties, I think, because up until that point, we've had a pretty clear road map for what's expected of us and we haven't had much reason to question that map. There are still a few milestones outlined for us (start a career, get married, make babies) but more and more young people are entering the post-school world and realizing:

A) that career thing just isn't happening like they said it would

B) I'm not ready to get married/I don't want to get married/marriage isn't the sort of life-altering event that it used to be

C) I'm not ready to make babies/I don't want a baby/I can't afford to raise children right now (see point A)

And in the absence of these milestones to shoot for (which one could argue weren't the promise of fulfillment they claimed to be in the first place), what we're left with is this aimless abyss of "the rest of our lives" sprawling out ahead of us with no indication of how it will go or what we should be doing to shape it. Young people start their first jobs, find they hate them, and think to themselves, "Is this it? Am I just supposed to do this job until I'm too old to do it or die first?"

Which is, yeah, really fucking depressing!! So here's my best attempt at an alternate roadmap for young people that don't vibe with the old model. Please feel free to add in your own suggestions!

Learn how you work and what you want out of a job. Unless you've been in a job-specific training program that gives you hands-on experience, your first jobs should be experiments. Learn how a full-time job feels for you, what elements are more or less difficult. Different workplaces have different cultures and expectations - what do you need out of a job environment? Do you need to find fulfillment in your job or is it enough for it to pay the bills and leave you time to find outside fulfillment? Do you want to climb a corporate ladder or are you content to hunker down as long as your bills get paid? This period of experimentation is exhausting and may feel like it's consuming your whole life.

Learn how to make time for things outside of work. Adapting to a full-time work environment often leaves you feeling so drained that you can't do anything but go home and collapse on the couch every day. That's fine - for a little while. But it can also become a habit. You need to learn how to do things after work or you'll go crazy. Go to a trivia night. Start an exercise schedule. Take a class in your community. Find volunteer work. Join a band. You will find that putting more things into your day makes you feel like you have more time, not less.

Find a community. Making friends as an adult can feel impossible. Where do you find these mysterious friends everyone seems to have?? This goes along with #2, though. As you start regularly attending the same activities, you will find that repeat interactions with the same people turn into friendships or at least friendly acquaintances. Say yes to invitations. Get involved in your local community. Strive to be connected enough to bump into people at the grocery store.

Unlearn bad lessons. We all internalize some messed up things when we're growing up. As you start off your adult life, that's the time to actively work at unpacking the things you've brought with you from childhood and deciding which things are helping you and which things are harming you. This might mean therapy or joining a spiritual group or reading new things or just making special time to be in your own head.

Learn the lessons you missed. In this, I mostly mean practical things. "Adulting." Areas of your day-to-day practical life that are causing you extreme stress are probably related to a knowledge or experience gap. Do you hate cooking and cleaning or were you not taught how to do it properly? Are you afraid of making medical appointments or is it just something new you're not used to? Does money make you queasy or do you need to learn how to make a budget?

Find something fulfilling. This can be your job. It can be volunteer work. It can be faith. It can be a hobby. It can be creating things. It can be challenging yourself physically. It can be activism. It can be going for walks in nature. Everyone finds fulfillment in different places. If you're not finding it where you are, look somewhere else.

[caperingcryptid]

He pulled the collar of his shirt down, exposing the cavity that ran straight through his chest. With a morbid fascination, Gerald realized that he could see the gap where Adam's ribs had once met...and had once (presumably) sheltered his heart.

“Holy fuck,” said Gerald.

“Not making me feel any better.” Adam pulled the collar back up, somewhat self-consciously, and rested his face in his hands. “I already know I fucked up, you know? I was kind of hoping you'd-”

“Tell you how badass a hole in your chest is? Say it doesn't look all that bad? Christ, dude, how are you even alive?”

“Fairy magic.”

“Oh. Yeah. That'd do it, yeah. I tried warning you about those fairies, dude.“

”I thought we had something special!“

”So did everyone else who's gotten tricked by fairies! Everyone thinks they're so clever, and then bam.“ Gerald clamped his hands together. ”You get a little too cocky, and they've got you. Easy as that. Only takes a slip.“

Adam groaned, running his hand down his face. ”Fuck, man. I thought I could ease up a little around her, though, y'know? Really thought she'd be the one.”

“So you just told her 'sure, Luna, I'll give you my heart'. Without thinking about the implications.”

“I thought it was romantic!”

“You're so stupid!”

"Fuck off!"

“I’m telling you, she stole my heart, man.” “That’s awful, man. Breakups are hard.” “No, dude, she literally stole my heart.”

[caperingcryptid]

I want to write a brief fic about Pages I think, because it's one of my favorite Masters, but its habit of Frankensteining vocabulary is going to be painful to implement.