captneverland91

[captneverland91]

[captneverland91]

I'm tired.

Im so *so* tired.

I'm tired of missing. Im tired of wanting. I'm tired of wishing. I'm tired of dreaming..I don't even want to sleep anymore. I'm tired of waiting...I've been waiting for so long.

I'm tired.

I'm tired of being the person who checks on people all the time, the person who knows when not to check on people. But none of those people ever check on me. Never once "hey, just want to say I love you and see how you're doing." Even when they know I'm going through stuff. Even when they know I'm struggling. Nobody checks on me.

I don't even have any friends anymore. Not really. I guess you have to have friends for them to check on you.

I used to have friends. I have a matching tattoo with my best friend of twenty years. We are still best friends. But we're not. Isn't that weird? It's my own fault though. I moved away. I don't text her enough. But she doesn't really text me either. We just send each other stupid reels on Facebook and tiktok. We almost never talk about anything real anymore.

I'm so tired.

I work. Not even a lot, the normal 40 hrs a week. But I literally give it my all, every single day. I got a huge promotion that I wasn't even looking for... and now all my friends at work can't even be my friends anymore because now I'm their supervisor. Technically. Sure we are still friends. But it's not the same.

I don't have anyone to talk to anymore.

Sure, I have my family still. But I can only talk about certain things with certain people. My family is very opinionated. I always have to censor my conversations... tailer them to fit the people I'm around. It's just easier.

I'm tired.

I am tired of not being able to trust myself. How can I trust myself and my "instincts" when so often they have been wrong? How can I believe anything anyone tells me when I can't even trust myself?

Gods, I'm so fucking tired.

Look at me... rambling on to the internet. Will anyone even read this? Probably not. I haven't posted on here in YEARS. Do I even still have followers? Are any of you even still active? I have no idea.

I don't care. I just needed to get it out. Out of my heart. Out of my head. It was eating me alive.

If anyone does read this, don't worry. I'm not suicidal or anything. I promise. I'm just having a really, *really* hard day. I'll probably be fine again tomorrow. I hope.

After I get sleep.

Im just so tired.

[captneverland91]

"Dramatic mermaid who can heal with a single touch. They think you're the best thing in the whole world."

Ok so this was the first one I got, and it is honestly so great cause 1) Mermaids are my FAVORITE thing on earth and I'm obsessed with them. 2) I have so many physical ailments that he could heal and 3) I have a low self confidence and him thinking I'm the best thing in the world would be a great booster.

I made a generator to find out about your supernatural partner because human partners are out of fashion now

[captneverland91]

if you’re reading this

a lump sum of money is on the way to you

[captneverland91]

Running From Your Problems.

That moment when you do a google search to try and help yourself with your issues but don't actually open or read any of the articles because you don't want to read about everything you're doing wrong.

[captneverland91]

[captneverland91]

Things you could put in a devotional journal

•Their names in Ancient Greek, transliterated, translated, and pronunciation •Epithets (traditional and upg) •Favourite myths •Retelling/interpretation of the myths •Other information about Them •A photo or drawing of how They appear to you or that you think of as resembling Them •Delphic maxims •Key words in both languages and what they mean •An altar page or photo of an altar •Hymns, prayers, poems and stories •Pictures of other things you’ve made for Them •Updates on skills you’re learning in worship of Them •Letters you write to Them about anything at all (could just be telling them about your day or whatever) •Specific tarot spreads •Readings and conversations you’ve had with Them •Sacred animals/plants/colours/food/symbols etc (or just ones that make you think of Them) •Drawings/paintings/collages for Them •Experiences and encounters •Worship days/holidays/celebrations •Ideas for things you could do/make/give in offering (including low spoons devotional ideas) •Playlists •Books and movies that remind you of them •Aesthetic and word associations lists •Places that remind you of Them •Any other upg stuff •Quotes •Any signs or dreams etc you think might have been from them •Checklists for things you want to do for Them or have done and want to do again •Stick in pictures or dried flowers •Charities or other causes you can give to

*I’m mostly posting this for myself just to have the list saved but if anyone has any other ideas please feel free to add to it! I love having new things to add to my journals

[captneverland91]

The Ghost Dance

So. This is sad…… the Sioux had this dance - The Ghost Dance. It was intended to get rid of the non-native settlers. Dancers had special shirts they were told would become bullet proof because of the dance. The last Dance was held right before Wounded Knee.

I bet so many were killed because they believed they were bullet proof.

[captneverland91]

WANTED - Pen Pall

I want to start writing to someone. But I want it to be someone I don't already know. I want to learn about someone else's life and world, and in turn teach them about mine. I want to communicate in a way other than texting or typing on the phone. Anyone else feel this way? Anyone interested? A couple rules: 1) must be from somewhere other than the south eastern US. I want to interact with someone from somewhere else. US is fine. Just not the south east. 2) must speak English. I, unfortunately, am noy bilingual. I wish I were, I'm working on it. Sorry. (Matter of fact, I'm trying to learn korean so if anyone interested is korean or speaks korean, that would be awesome.) 3) must have stories. Good. Bad. Ugly. Happy. Sad. Whatever, you just have to have them, and be willing to share them. And be willing to read about mine - the good. Bad. And ugly. And that's about it. If you are interested, message me. Who knows, we could become best friends.

[captneverland91]

[captneverland91]

You didn’t need your heart today, right? Good.

[captneverland91]

no but in all seriousness, don’t force relationships and don’t force friendships. if these things aren’t flowing into your life naturally, you can do without them until they do.

[captneverland91]

[captneverland91]

Have you checked the storage unit yet?

“its probably not fancy enough”

[captneverland91]

.....what is that? Is it a panda? Is it a rabbit? Ooohhhhh it's a pandarabbit.....

[captneverland91]

"Go out there and spin really fast."

[captneverland91]