catticusbananapuss-blog

[catticusbananapuss-blog]

Never be embarrassed about writing for yourself! That’s what fic’s there for. I read and read and read and when I still didn’t find the story I wanted, I sat down and began writing it myself. So worth it, and I still write things for myself. They’re the stories I’m most proud of, even if they’re not the highest in terms of feedback.

It’s so incredibly freeing once you realize that you’re the best audience for your fic, and even more freeing when you realize that even if you write for yourself and don’t publish?

You hold your dreams in your hands. 

kind of a weird question but, is it normal to write fics for yourself?I'd want to share it with others but im scared people aren't going to like it or think its weird (out there fix-it fiction). aaaaaaah im sorry this is weird, i just need some advice. (anon bc im lowkey embarrassed about it)

it’s 100% normal to write things just for you. You don’t need to share anything you don’t want to share. Posting isn’t a requirement of writing. If you’re scared, then do what you need to do to be comfortable ❤

[catticusbananapuss-blog]

A Tale of Two Fandoms (or, How to Chase Creatives Away)

I’ve been in fandom for a decent chunk of time now, and I’ve got a thought and experience gnawing away at me from the inside that I’d like to share. TL;DR, hero worship will drive people out of a fandom pretty fucking quick, especially those who build communities that span past AO3, and dropping friends in favor of BNFs who give you attention isn’t cool and only serves to hurt others in the end.

I’m going to keep this vague, because I have no interest in stirring up old drama and no wish to go back to Fandom A at this point in time. I only wish to share an experience.

Fandom A has been my home for years now, something I can sink into and something that’s gotten me through some truly dangerous nights. It’s still an active fandom with dozens (if not hundreds) of new/updated stories a day. I’ve made plenty of friends through it and laid my soul bare through my works, and have become relatively well known (not like, I walk into a fandom party and everything stops short, but if I go and mingle, people definitely point and say “You wrote XYZ fic!!”). 

I do my best to spread positivity through my friend circle. I try not to dwell on the negative, and do my best to support others when I have the spoons. Noticing that my corner of the fandom didn’t really have cohesion and a good support network, I cultivated a place (off of AO3) where fandom friends could find and support each other as well. I devoted countless hours to it and my chosen ship in particular…

And I regret becoming that person for the fandom.

I regret putting myself out there, becoming active and open like that, because as soon as I became a person, I stopped being an author to support. 

It was a gradual slip, something I didn’t really even connect the dots of until my best friend pointed it out. The comments from community members slowly dwindled to two or three words here or there, when once they’d been paragraphs. Then they stopped almost entirely, and then the kudos stopped, and I didn’t know where I’d gone wrong…

Until I realized there was another author quickly rising to BNF status, and what’s more, they were reaching legend status...and from stories I’ve seen firsthand and heard from others (in different fandoms, even, it’s a widespread issue), I firmly believe it’s because they didn’t interact with the fandom. Hero worship became widespread both in and out of the little community I’d carved out, to the point that I couldn’t approach it anymore because anything I said was immediately heaped on with “OMG BNF DID XYZ.”

Seriously, it was like Tribbles all over again 😂 “I--” FWOMP *buried under mountain of useless fluff*

I even tried reaching out and befriending BNF, because they seemed receptive to the occasional message. BNF was actually friendly for a while--a bit stilted, closed off, but friendly enough--and I could almost understand why my readers and friends had all but abandoned me. It stung like no one’s business, but that wasn’t a good enough reason to be unkind to others.

Then BNF decided I wasn’t worth it, and all the people who looked up to them decided I wasn’t worth it either. What little trickle of support was left dried almost completely, and I was left to watch as BNF systematically dismantled piece by piece the work I’d put into everything. I was (and please don’t “write for yourself!” me. I do, but that’s often not enough) left in the metaphorical dust, begging for scraps with stories I poured my very soul into while BNF continued to revel in the glory of hundreds of kudos and comments.

I wrote the stories people begged me for, and got “this is nice!” from the requesters, and then watched them leave essay-length glowing reviews on BNF’s pieces that had nothing to do with what they requested. I pasted on a smile as they said “I’ll get to reading your fic shortly!” and then waited months, watching as they read and reviewed every single new chapter from BNF (and now her “approved” group of authors).

And finally, after realizing that the stress of needing to beg for shreds of feedback from who I’d considered friends was making me quite literally sick, I quit.

I packed up shop, quit Fandom A, and started putting focus into Fandom B.

I bawled when I published my first smut for Fandom B and was overwhelmed with support on both Twitter and AO3. Kudos on one fic, in one night, numbered as many as I got on all seventy odd Fandom A stories in a WEEK. 

The community I’ve found in fandom B has been nothing but gracious. The people are so kind, and the stories are plentiful, and beautiful, and everything is lovely. I mean yeah, it’s got its flaws, what fandom doesn’t? But it appreciates its authors (and artists! There’s so much good art it’s crazy???), and I can’t stress enough how much that means to creative types. 

I know creatives who don’t interact with fandoms at large because they’ve seen this as well, and don’t want it to happen to them. So if you’re a supporter and/or fellow creative who wants to be involved in the community, just remember...please don’t drop the people you get to know in favor of chasing someone else. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side, and your friends will appreciate your support just as much as that BNF who’s racking up hits, kudos, and comments (though don’t let that stop you from supporting them as well! We all need it, just don’t forget the ones who have been there for you ❤)

And if you’re a creative who has been dropped?

Try that fandom you’ve been wanting to branch out into. It might just turn out to be the place you’re appreciated ❤

[catticusbananapuss-blog]

Hello! Got a question for you and the blog. Any recommendations on how to write ASL in fic? Either I'm a fool or my google-fu isn't working properly, and I'd love to know if I'm overthinking it and it's just as simple as "bla bla bla," xyz signed, or if there's some other notation I'm missing. Any fic recs with signing would be much appreciated as well! Thanks so much 😄

I had a question about incorporating sign language into fic sometime around a year or two ago, and there was a lot of great discussion in the notes. Here’s one of the many threads that had some interesting viewpoints in it. Sorry about the formatting - I’m not really sure what happened there. 

If anyone wants to share their thoughts on this one, I’d love to hear what you have to say. And of course we’ll be watching the notes for those resources :)