certifiablyinsanez
certifiablyinsanez
R.O.Z
222 posts
Call me Roz! I’m 26, they/them enby. Chronically ill physically and mentally but life is full of joy because I can hyperfixate to my hearts content! Peace, love, and (fandom) trash. ✌🏻
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
certifiablyinsanez · 7 months ago
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Exactly, man has ALWAYS been a class traitor.
i've seen some takes that striker's characterization has been butchered the last few episodes he's been in, but i actually disagree. it's been set up from the beginning that he's a hypocrite - he talks big about rising above the goetias and hating royalty, but his introduction comes with the reveal that he's been working for stella this whole time. if he stuck to his proclaimed principles at all then he wouldn't take contracts from royalty, indulging their petty squabbles with each other and obeying stella's every whim. him turning around and testifying against blitz at the trial was perfectly in line with how we see him repeatedly say one thing and do the other, because he's a performative activist! he never backs up his rhetoric! ideologically he's an imp supremacist who despises royalty, but practically he's a class traitor who will prioritize his personal dislike of blitz over solidarity with other imps. this has been established for a long time, we're just seeing the full extent of it now
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certifiablyinsanez · 7 months ago
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Mammon is great ace representation: an essay on aphobia in the Hellaverse fandom
I’m seeing a lot of people be mad about Mammon having a thing for Leviathan. And I’m going to need the fandom to step back and examine these issues, because they are 100% rooted in aphobia. I have been out as an oriented aroace person for over 10 years if you want to doubt my credentials, rather than listen to my analysis, lived experience and reflect.
So. Tell me Hellaverse fandom; why, when it comes to Alastor, who is a character who very clearly has zero interest in others, it is always a chorus of people saying “aces can have sex”, “aces can enjoy sex”, “it’s not harmful to the ace community to use Alastor for shipping material, he isn’t real and asexuality and aromanticism is a huge spectrum”, “Aroace people can still date and have sex”?
But when it comes to Mammon, he is “bad asexual representation”, he “clearly experiences sexual attraction”, “he can’t be demisexual”, etc.
No genuinely, why is this? I want you to examine this, think on it from a place of neutral examination and come to your own conclusions. Because this is a worrisome double standard. This can for starters, be an instance of fat phobia. Because out of the two of them, Alastor is thin, and therefore closer to the beauty standard, which is hysterical considering that Alastor canonically has horrible hygiene, and I don’t think I know a single person who thinks that stank ass body and breath is attractive. Mammon, as seen from the slovenly way he eats, can potentially be assumed to have poor hygiene as well, but it has a very different connotation because of his weight. [Research the connection between thin privilege and body odor/hygiene. It’s very real].
I can spend a lot of time and energy going into the shipping dynamics between the shows, as well as how Alastor is a more “shippable” character in comparison to Mammon, but I honestly don’t find this as interesting or as compelling as to what I’m about to say next.
Because aphobia in the real world is still very alive and well today. In my 10+ years of being in the ace community, I have genuinely spent a lot of emotional energy, time, knowledge, experience, and compassion, just fighting for the right to even be acknowledged as queer. I have vivid memories from when I was first out of the closet at the age of 16, telling ace people across apps and forums that they were valid, that they weren’t broken, that they were deserving of love, respect, and a place in the queer community. I was telling people, younger, my age, and older that they shouldn’t kill themselves, that they had worth beyond what they could do in the bedroom for others. I had to convince people that they didn’t owe anyone sex, and that they were in fact being sexually abused by their partners. I was on the phone with people in tears. I spent HOURS of my life in these DMs at an age where I was a suffering, mentally ill queer child that was also being victimized by aphobia. Still to this day people think the “A” stands for ally. And still to this day people have discord about our community as a whole. I have had to sit and watch as people went from loudly proclaiming with their whole chest that asexual people didn’t exist, or at the very least weren’t queer. Then years went by and it became less and less okay to say things like that, because asexual people finally had fought long enough and had supported each other enough that we discovered our voices and began to use them. So people were finally facing the consequences of saying bigoted shit.
And now that they can’t say that asexuals aren��t queer, they moved on to another group. Demisexuals. Demisexuals by far have it roughest, because while there are many micro labels in our community to explain our diverse range of experiences, demisexual is probably the most well known one. And every handful of months or so I have to use my voice once again to stand up for my people, because an attack on one of us is an attack on all of us, and people on the internet have made it clear that they have no qualms of attacking us. The asexual and aromantic community have made extremely valuable contributions to the queer community that are entirely overlooked because we are not valued in it.
And this is why I have been an outspoken proponent of my displeasure over Alastor being a character that is the most shipped with others, and my disdain for the fanbase has grown even wider after Mammons appearance in Mastermind. It is a painful reminder of all the discrimination I’ve faced over the years, that my community still goes through. Because people are contrarians. Alastor is canonically asexual, and other aspects of his character are reflective of aromanticism as well. Well, the fanbase doesn’t like this so much. If you genuinely pay attention, you’ll notice this is a trend with a lot of other aroace characters. My favorite example is Peridot from Steven Universe, a canonical aroace character. In the show, Peridot goes through a lot of unlearning and growth. The scene where she tries to fuse with Garnet has massive implications for a few reasons. Because one, she is genuine in her desire to understand Garnet, and fusion better. And two, fusion while forbidden on Homeworld, is commonplace and normal in the Crystal Gems. As a Crystal Gem, she feels this is what is now expected of her. This is a major experience in the aspec community, as living in a cis heteronormative society means that sex, marriage and children are all things expected of each individual, which is dangerous and harmful ideology to everyone, asexual/aromantic people as well. Peridot couldn’t go through with the fusion, but that didn’t stop the fandom salivating, and foaming at the mouth over a potential Lapis/Peridot fusion. People were genuinely mad at Rebecca Sugar for never making that pairing canon, when they had absolutely no right to behave the way they did. Let’s not forget how the fans also misgendered Rebecca Sugar constantly. It was absolutely bigoted.
This is happening with Alastor. Fans feel entitled to ship him with whomever, an entitlement that is not seen with other characters. When people ship Vaggie with Angel, there is backlash, and for good reason. Because people understand that despite the fact that Vivienne Medrano said people can ship whatever, shipping a gay man with a woman and a gay woman with a man is…gross. It is wrong, it is disrespectful of their identities, and is forcing heteronormativity onto characters that are strict in their sexualities. Most people are able to recognize the thinly veiled homophobia. But Alastor does not receive the same treatment, and in fact receives the opposite treatment. I don’t know what I could say to convince you that the aroace coded character in a show being the #1 most shipped is thinly veiled aphobia the same way Vaggie x Angel is thinly veiled homophobia.
Now what does that have to do with Mammon? Mammon seems to not be aroace coded like Alastor, and for some reason, that has thoroughly pissed people off. Because Mammon is not the “acceptable” caricature of an asexual person. Most allosexual (non-asexual and/or aromantic people) view being asexual as being synonymous with being aromantic, which shows a painful lack of understanding and at times respect for the diversity of our community. Alastor fits this category, so he’s an “acceptable asexual”, while also essentially being a toy for shippers. But Mammon, with his clear attraction to Leviathan, is a “bastardization” of the asexual image. When we aren’t being viewed as broken, we’re often being viewed as chaste, virginal, and innocent with attachments to infantilization. But Mammon, with his aggressive and even icky approach to flirting with Leviathan, is seen as a subversion of this, which for people who don’t understand our community, hate. And these people are blaming Vivienne for having “terrible ace rep” when in actuality, having multiple ace characters having very little in common is actually fantastic rep. Because there are many labels in our community that Mammon can fit into as an asexual. To me, he looks like a sex-positive, high libido, demisexual. He’s known Leviathan for thousands of years, of course it makes sense that he would be into her, but not into anyone else which would explain why his “posse” are just female robots. This could also be because of his classism, but I genuinely think that he’s just demisexual. And you already know how people feel about demisexuals.
If you’ve read this far and have genuinely set aside your biases and personal feelings like I requested in the beginning, I appreciate that. Because from my own lived experience, the double standard between Alastor and Mammon doesn’t annoy me; it frightens me.
Because what the fandom is actually saying when they do these things is this:
“We see you as a homogenous group. Your voices go in one ear and out the other. If you don’t conform to our values and standards, we won’t give you the respect or recognition you deserve. If you don’t conform to my view of your group, you lose my “allyship”. We do not see your identity as a sexuality in its own right, but rather a literary device we can play with. I do not care to learn more about your community, your culture, or your struggles. I barely (if at all) acknowledge you as your own sexual minority and marginalized group. I barely acknowledge (if at all) that you are queer at all. I do not care about your feelings about societal biases that I might carry, I don’t care about how you’ve lived it, because it takes away my fun and fantasies. Because I devalue your group as a whole, your voices mean little. Your narrative is mine to do with as I please.”
I really hope you can see my perspective and understand the sincere place this comes from. Thanks for reading.
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certifiablyinsanez · 7 months ago
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“What are you doing I don’t deserve this!” You idiot. You absolute fool. Be unconditionally loved. Get absolutely fucking treasured you bafoon.
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certifiablyinsanez · 7 months ago
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This character analysis is diabolical (affectionate), because you’re so right. But I will say that this turn of events absolutely will force Blitz to face his self loathing (if not also his inferiority complex). I only say this because Blitz’s self hatred in deeply ingrained, and if he thought he ruined Stolas’ life before, he’s certain of it now. Stolas has lost literally everything, and it was to save Blitz’s life. We can see in the song that Blitz thinks he does not deserve this. I actually made a whole post related to this already, but I will say that Blitz is going to have to come to terms with the consequences of saving his life that will fall on Stolas and I think at the moment he’s compensating for his immense guilt and self hatred. I think he’s also super affectionate because he just had a near death experience where he thought that one of them wasn’t going to make it out alive. Definitely many factors at play here.
My take on Blitz's intimacy issues and why everything that's happening now with Stolas just plays into them even more (the essay):
Okay before you get mad at me, I love this development for Stolas, it makes perfect sense for his storyline to live as a regular demon and see the class system first hand, and understand how he was part of it. also the fact that basically everyone predicted this is an indicator for me that this is the right way to go, since it makes the most sense for the story. But this post is going to be about Blitz so there we go:
The one thing that bugged me for a while since realizing this is the direction the story is going to take is the fact that Blitz will not have the chance to get over his inferiority complex.
We see throughout the show that Blitz actually doesn't have a problem loving people who are equal or "beneath" him in status. He loves Moxxie and Millie, he loves Loona, he loves Fizz (i know Fizz is more successful but he's still an imp, and someone Blitz has known since he was young and vulnerable). The way I see it he's fine as long as he sees himself as useful to them, as the protector and provider. He employs the M&Ms and Loona, he even adopted Loona, putting himself in a position of superiority and responsibility, and them in a position of dependency on him.
He is also VERY protective with the ones he loves. I always see posts about how sweet it is, for example how he protected Fizz when they were kidnapped, how he put himself between him and any potential danger, and that kind of behavior is shown all the time in the show. And while sweet, it's also his comfort zone. As long as he can be the one protecting them, the one in charge, he's okay with their relationship.
One of the reasons he's so uncomfortable with his and Stolas's power dynamic is that he doesn't see where he can fit into his life. Stolas doesn't really need his protection, he knows Stolas is basically playing out a fantasy when he asks him to bodyguard. He's very dismissive when Stolas is in real trouble, since he's so powerful, so Blitz can't possibly be of any use. It makes him feel belittled to have his weaknesses in comparison to Stolas thrown in his face.
He is maybe impressed (and turned on) when Stolas saves him from DHORKS but he's also uncomfortable, because he doesn't like to be on that side of things.
We only see him warming up to Stolas when Stolas appears weak. When Stolas is very sad over Blitz, Blitz suddenly gets more invested. Because even if physically he's still so strong, maybe mentally Blitz can be his protector, and Stolas might be dependent on him, which is what Blitz seeks in relationships.
I think it's very natural but also a bit toxic (not in a "he's horrible" kind of way, but in an "interesting for the narrative" kind of way). Blitz needs this dependency to feel comfortable in a relationship, because then he's needed, and then he's not going to be left behind.
I think the same thing probably happened with Verosika. She's more successful, she has a higher status, she doesn't need him. But she wants him, and that's not enough, because wanting can change. He can screw up her wanting him, since he doesn't believe someone can love him genuinely, but someone less fortunate (like the M&M's, like Loona) will always need him. And even though Fizz for example is a lot more successful, Blitz can still somehow find his place with him as his protector, it's still a position he's comfortable enough with.
Now if we look at stolitz again, Blitz is suddenly very willing to be openly affectionate with Stolas. Yes, it probably also has to do with the fact that he had time to think about it, he came to the realization that he actually did like Stolas and all that, but still, I'm pretty sure Blitz's sudden willingness to take Stolas in, the sudden gentleness and adoration, has something to do with the fact that Blitz, deep down, is pretty happy with the turn of events. Taking care of a wounded bird that has nowhere else to turn to, that need Blitz to protect him and provide for him? Sign him right up.
Now Stolas is obviously weaker than him, hated, in need, it's very easy for Blitz to be his hero (doesn't help that Stolas basically shoved his own "knight in shining armor" fantasy down Blitz's throat their whole relationship). They are not forming a relationship now as equals, they just switched the roles, and Blitz is a lot more comfortable like this.
Now I don't actually have a problem with this since I think it's interesting, but I do hope it'll be addressed. Like if Stolas gets his power and status back, will Blitz be able to handle it? Will he put up walls again? Will he feel tossed aside since when Stolas is powerful, he doesn't need him, so how possibly can he want him?
Part of me wishes they didn't take the "easy" route for Blitz's character. That they let him learn how to be loved even when he's not necessarily needed for survival. But we still have 2 more seasons to go, so I'm optimistic!
Anyway this is my essay on this subject lol, I know it's super long but I would love to read more takes on this so tell me what you think!
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certifiablyinsanez · 7 months ago
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Stolas has probably spent the majority of his life wishing he was dead. He sang to his little daughter “when I’m gone you’ll be okay”. He’s made it clear that he places little value on his life. Before Blitz arrived in his life, he was probably hanging on by a frayed thread, his daughter being the only thing keeping him alive. But with his certainty that his daughter hates him, what does he have to live for? As someone who was passively suicidal for 13 years, I can say definitively that it isn’t enough to only stay because of the people you love. The suffering is just too great. The reasons someone stays alive are often unromantic, minute, and seemingly insignificant. More often than not, you’re only still alive because you can’t actually make yourself do the deed. You wait for the right day, to do it in the right way and the stars just never align to make it happen. Your days blend together in a haze of misery with tiny seeds of hope sprinkled here and there, and then one day you realize that maybe you do want to live. You never see it coming. You never plan for it or expect it to happen, or know when it’ll arrive. Blitz is that reason, that blazing light in an endless darkness. The shooting star that burst through a night sky as dark as pitch. The reason to live that surprised Stolas with how much fire it put back in his life, how much joy, how much light, even when it was causing him pain. Stolas Goetia, who has spent his whole life surrounded by glittering jewels and castle walls, able to summon the skies of stars and suns, had no light in his life until Blitz arrived. Blitz is the light.
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Blitz has had to be stone for most of his life. In his childhood he had to brace his little spirit against all the odds, because he was an imp who had weird dreams, and was surrounded by people who had no faith in him. And the few people that loved him were lost to him. With no home and no family or friends, one can only imagine how hard his life was for many years after that. He had to steel himself, become hard and heartless just to get by. He still had dreams and ambitions but remained deeply lonely for many years. “You tried the solo act, it didn’t work out very well.” He’s a wounded dog that doesn’t know why he bites. He’s convinced he’s a walking curse, that he does nothing but hurt and leave misery in his wake. And because of all this, he didn’t bother trying. He allowed himself to take and leave nothing behind. He allowed himself to hurt because whether he tries or not doesn’t matter because the end result is always the same. Stolas was another thread in his tragic tapestry, but his thread was bright gold in a sea of beige. Blitz tried to ignore the thread. What’s one more? But it shimmered too brightly. It was too beautiful, too rare, too exquisite to disregard. His heart, sick and small, was removed in a strange twist of fate, and Stolas put himself in the hole that was left behind, giving parts of his own heart that overflows. Stolas is his heart.
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certifiablyinsanez · 7 months ago
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Okay, I’m not coping well with the emotional whirlpool I’m experiencing after Mastermind. And this scene right here:
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Is something that is haunting me. Because it’s not difficult to see what troubles lie ahead for them, what consequences await for the events of the trial. What do we already know about Blitz? That he has deeply hated himself for many years. Maybe he felt slightly better after Millie’s monologue in Ghostfuckers, but I think we all know that such a deep seated hatred of oneself doesn’t disappear in a single conversation. This much is clear by the pictures in Blitz’s apartment still being blacked out that we can see in the background in Mastermind. And any relief he may have felt from Millie’s sincere story is going to be completely shattered.
I have no doubt personally that Blitz has always thought he ruined Stolas’ life. He’s not a stupid man; he’s observant. He knows the struggles Stolas has gone through with the advent of their deal and relationship. He’s seen the wedge he put between him and his daughter. He knows the kind of hell the divorce has put him through. But now?
If there was any doubt he ruined his life before, it’s gone now. Because Stolas has now utterly, and completely, lost everything. His titles, his status, his wealth, his home, his power. All that’s gone. But worse? He’s entirely lost his daughter now. Blitz will probably never forgive himself for that. I mean shit, he literally said this:
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Stolas is a much more powerful being than Blitz. But Blitz believes he deserves to die rather than put Stolas in harms way. Blitz will probably be wishing that he died rather than live with the fact that he’s brought Stolas low. Stolas’ punishment is far longer than Blitz’s life span. The consequences of saving his life will outlive him. There no chance Blitz will accept this as Stolas’ choice. Not only will he have to deal with the trauma of the trial before Stolas arrived, but also the result of what it’s done to the man he loves more than life itself.
But Stolas? Stolas would do it again. The way he says it, “Always”, is just so raw and softly powerful. Because he’s just had his powers ripped from his body. He’s lost it all, he’s lost his child. But he would do it again. There was no other choice to be made. There was no alternative. He said it himself:
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Stolas is a suicidal figure. He prepped his daughter for the day he wouldn’t be around. He doesn’t value himself or his life at all. He’s suffered tremendously. He probably already believes he’s lost his daughter. His daughter has made it clear that she hates him. Outside of Blitz, who is his light in the darkness, his soulmate and true love, what does he have to live for? To Stolas this was a no brainer. He went to that block with dignity. He was so willing to die for his love.
So when Blitz thanks him for saving his life, Stolas, breathless and weak, says “Always”, because he will always love him, need him, cherish him. He will always put him above himself, which is something Blitz wouldn’t understand but is second nature to a gentle spirit like Stolas. Stolas who escaped the torments of his life in his books, who is humble and sweet with a lowly imp because his body and soul needs Blitz like he needs air. A true romantic, a soft demon who gave it all up for love and would do it again.
Always, he says, and means with every syllable.
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certifiablyinsanez · 7 months ago
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Guys it’s me.
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certifiablyinsanez · 7 months ago
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certifiablyinsanez · 7 months ago
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Me watching Mastermind:
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certifiablyinsanez · 7 months ago
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I really hope that now, the people who have been under-appreciating the class and racial dynamics of the show and Blitz and Stolas’ relationship can now realize that Blitz had every right to have doubts and worries over Stolas’ character when it came to their gap.
Do you know what this episode reminds me of? Authoritarian, dictatorial rule. People have opinions of public execution in the real world. It’s something that actually happens. Even for peoples and societies that don’t currently commit to public executions more than likely have a past history of doing so. And the realities of this very real thing were made clear in this episode. Because Blitz, and even all of IMP, was going to die. And in the real world, you probably don’t have a royal lover to save you at the last second. It is a real tool used by cruel masters to keep people in line, to invoke terror and submission. We all saw their faces.
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A family of imps, children watching. The little girl closing her eyes sadly.
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His best friend and loved ones watching him get his head lopped off.
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Even his scorned ex who he viciously hurt is horrified by this.
Just because we knew Blitz was going to be saved, should in no way erase the seriousness of this event. This is something used to enforce submission, to instill fear. Satan mentions how he created imps to be obedient. This was meant to be a reminder to all the lowly people in hell that their place is in the dirt. Because Blitz is only moderately successful for his race. By the standards of higher classes he would still be seen as a low-rate wannabe business man running a seedy operation. His is not rich by any means. His business only produces enough to moderately support his family and his workers.
And he was about to be killed for it.
He was about to be executed because he was a little too uppity. Because he dared to be anything other than what was designated for his race. Let that sink in. Imagine if you were executed on international television just because you wanted a better career and life. This is the reality in Hell. And the unfairness of it all is so blatantly seen when Stolas is harshly punished but still allowed to live. Not only that, but it was put on public record that he’s silly to think he would be killed because “his life actually has worth”. That’s insane.
And I need everyone to apologize and write Viv and her team love letters because these dynamics EXIST IN REAL LIFE. They are real and have real consequences, and this is real for the POC that lives down the street from you. This is not something that happens in a backwards place 10,000 miles away. It’s in everyone’s backyard. This episode was beautifully written and I look forward to every new episode to come.
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certifiablyinsanez · 7 months ago
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There definitely seems to be a setup for some fallout between Fizz and Asmodeus.
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From what we see with this text-“see you on TV”-this seems to show that Fizz knew that Oz was going to a trial that was expected to be televised. There is no way in hell that Fizz knew this was Blitz’s trial…but did Oz? If Asmodeus knew, did he purposefully hide the fact from Fizz? If so, we can all see how that will not go well at all. By the casualness of Oz’s texts, it’s possible he didn’t know either. I know if I was Oz I would be absolutely freaking out if I knew I was going to a life or death trial for my partner’s best friend, I would not be sending hearts over text. And of course, earlier, Oz was one of only two (maybe three if you count Vassago) people in the entire court that voted to hear them out. But even so, Asmodeus didn’t speak much further than his initial appeal. That’s definitely not going to go well over with Fizz. We can see how this pains him, yet he still remains silent.
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The expressions Fizz has definitely pains me. I cannot imagine how it would feel to see a worldwide broadcast of my childhood best friend being executed.
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Just look at his face.
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This is a horrifying, traumatic experience, for all imp kind but especially for those close to Blitz. Shit, even Verosika was horrified.
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This is brutal. The subtleties of class divides have been blown wide open. We’ve seen how it’s played out with Blitz and Stolas, I feel we’re going to see it with Fizz and Ozzie, whose class divide is even wider. Stolas just sacrificed his title, all his possessions, his power, and his daughter for a whole century for Blitz. All Fizz asked was for Oz to flex his power when he needed it most and Oz did nothing. Who will have to sacrifice more in their relationship? We shall see.
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certifiablyinsanez · 7 months ago
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Guys. Their love made history. Never before seen in over 10,000 years. Never before has this happened among hellborn, Goetia, or Sins. The love between Stolas Goetia and Blitzø Buckzo has rewritten the narrative of Hell itself.
EDIT: Guys ffs stop commenting that I’m wrong just because no one else knows doesn’t mean they didn’t know. Jesus Christ LEARN TO READ.
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certifiablyinsanez · 7 months ago
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😭🫠😫
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certifiablyinsanez · 7 months ago
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Yes we all saw Andrealphus, but honestly Stolas’ catastrophic levels of cunt needs to be addressed.
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certifiablyinsanez · 7 months ago
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Guys, Mastermind saved us fr. Blitz being soft with Stolas was the only thing my heart wanted this Christmas. Mwah 🫶🏻. His openness, his full honesty…
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certifiablyinsanez · 7 months ago
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You don’t understand what this episode did to me. What this line did to me. This song altered my dna. This song drove me to madness to lop off my own arm and then magically made it grow back. This line is better than a morphine drip.
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certifiablyinsanez · 7 months ago
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👐🏻If you can hear me, please save us Vivienne Medrano, please save us. Please, Brandon Rogers👐🏻
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