chadgoldenretrievers - Tumblr blog

[chadgoldenretrievers]

Yo you think some lawyer by the name of prudence makes a jurisprudence pun in the court room every now and then

[chadgoldenretrievers]

I got a joke for y’all.

What kind of pants do cats wear?

Jodhpurs

[chadgoldenretrievers]

If I ever have to do math again I’m going to hang myself on a hypothenoose

[chadgoldenretrievers]

If it’s my comfort zone then why am I uncomfortable here too

[chadgoldenretrievers]

Christ evades twink death thanks to one easy life hack: resurrection

[chadgoldenretrievers]

Do you think in zootopia there’s a performer called elkton John

[chadgoldenretrievers]

You may think you’re put together but you’ll never be as put together as a person that eats pizza with a fork and knife

[chadgoldenretrievers]

The existence of captain crunch implies a cereal military hierarchy and industrial complex and that means a private crunch and lieutenant crunch exist in the same cinematic universe

[chadgoldenretrievers]

Non manic women seldom make history

[chadgoldenretrievers]

Love’s dead, sure, but that’s no crying matter for a necromancer

[chadgoldenretrievers]

Angry villian hears the door bell: “ who goes there . who dares walk past mine lair!!!?”

Henchman : “sir it’s the pizza man you ordered an extra cheese extra pepperoni “

[chadgoldenretrievers]

Do y’all think kangaroos can be used as a makeshift defibrillator to restart a dead heart

[chadgoldenretrievers]

Deviled egg and devils food cake implies the existence of food theology and food Catholicism

[chadgoldenretrievers]

“Boys will be boys “ but you’re not a boy you’re a man

[chadgoldenretrievers]

Beastmode is just misogynistic straight podcast men’s fursona

[chadgoldenretrievers]

“Sir it seems the sea is corrupted by the most dastardly of ice bergs”

The captain of the titanic thinking about bare ankles or something:

“Yeah no, fucking floor it, my dude”

[chadgoldenretrievers]

Gonna start making chick fill a dupes at home called dick fill ya