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chattonlait · 5 years ago

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Pretty Lies: chapter 9

Adrien has an interesting chat with Hawkmoth, and a bonding moment with Marinette. Sometimes black cats bring good luck.

First thing in the morning, and Adrien was starting an early patrol. Not because he wanted to, because believe him, he’d rather be in bed. He was still exhausted from the night before. He hadn’t realized how much and akuma attack could take out of him when he wasn’t wearing his miraculous. He wasn’t even attacked so much as.. Effected by it. He wished he could remember what happened but he honestly couldn’t. He just fell out, woke up in Luka’s lap, fell back asleep, or passed out again. It was one or the other. But hearing that his eyes went pink, and he had talked funny? That was.. Embarrassing, mostly. He wished he could remember what he said to Marinette.. He needed to apologize for that, for scaring her. He decided he would do that once he got to school, for now he had to soar across the Paris skies, hopping from rooftop to rooftop. Normally he would never even try to patrol in the mornings, but he missed the akuma yesterday. Adrien perched on the edge of a stone rooftop, knees to his chest as he took his baton out, and he was right- he really missed the akuma yesterday, and several voicemails from Ladybug. His thumb hovered over the play button before he shook his head. He knew he should’ve been more aware, should’ve been there for his lady.

So instead, he took a chance, and he called her instead. He held the baton closer to his ear as it rang. If she wasn’t in costume it’d go straight to voicemail, but it rang. She was also out before the sun rose. His heart blossomed with warmth as he stared down at the streets below him. The line clicked, and Adrien started speaking when he heard Ladybug inhale, “I know I wasn’t there to fight the akuma yesterday, and I’m sorry,” he said, licking his bottom lip as he stood up, pacing the edge of the roof. “It was like with Style Queen, this akuma got to me before I realized it was even there, I can’t even-” he huffed, “I can’t even remember when it got me in the first place. But I’m sorry.” He took a deep breath in, “I should’ve been there to help you defeat it.. Forgive me, m’lady.” “Are you okay?”

He flinched at Ladybug’s question. She shouldn’t be asking if he was okay, she should’ve been angry, he wasn’t there and he was her partner for crying out loud. “I’m fine,” he said through tight lips. He wasn’t fine and he knew that, he was still tired, his friends were starting to catch on, and this akuma.. Was the straw on the camel’s back. He didn’t know if he could keep going the way he was, pretending like everything was perfect and fine all the time. It wasn’t fine, he wasn’t fine. He heard Ladybug hum tentatively into the speaker, “Chatton.”

“Yes?” “You sound like you’re scared.” “I’m not,” he lied again. But it wasn’t a full lie. He was anxious, not scared. All he had to do was make it to the winter show.. That was next week, once next week was over, he could breathe again, he promised himself. He could go back to normal, he wouldn’t have to think about the fact that he was taking his mother’s place. Everyone would be watching, judging, critics would look at him and judge him, and subsequently his father, twice as hard. “It’s okay if the akuma scared you, Chat, you didn’t have any defense, but I’m not angry that you weren’t there, okay? I had to call in Rena and Carapace, but it’s what I recruited them for, so that we can have help. If you were alone, I would expect you to try and do the same.” He didn’t remind Ladybug that he didn’t have access to the other miraculouses (miraculi? whatever.) Instead he nodded, even though Ladybug couldn’t see it. The chilly winter wind ruffled his hair and he sighed into the baton. “Thank you Ladybug, this conversation.. I really needed it,” he smiled to himself and waved to some kids as he jumped onto another rooftop, pacing quietly. “I think it might snow today.” Ladybug’s laugh twinkled in his ear and he felt his face go warm, smile now absolutely fixed to his face. He was still in love- but it felt wrong, how could he love Ladybug and Marinette? His heart felt warm for both of them, sometimes so much so that it felt constricting. Ladybug was his best friend though, she knew him but didn’t at the same time. He could open up to Ladybug about things that he felt like he could never tell Marinette. She seemed to have this.. Idea of who he was in her head, but didn’t really know him. But then again, no one did. And that was his own fault, a product of his own.. Issues. “I’m glad that you felt comfortable enough to have it with me, Chat. I have to get going now, but don’t ever be afraid to leave me a message, okay?” “M-mhm,” he stuttered into the phone and sighed, “Cold, sorry. I’ll catch you around, Bugaboo.” “Bye-bye!” “Bye,” he clicked the end call button and looked down at his weapon as the screen blacked out. He should’ve probably stopped pacing like a manic cat on a roof. So he did. He jumped down and landed in a long deserted alley-way, destranforming seamlessly. He was still in his morning workout clothes, he had blatantly lied to Nathalie and told him he needed to go for a jog. It was a half truth, but he said he needed the air, space to breathe after having something so invasive happen. Adrien shivered, he could barely remember what happened when the akuma effected him but it still felt like a snake was crawling up his spine whenever he tried to remember. Like something happened and his brain was blocking out the memory to protect him. He felt, in a lack of other words, completely violated.

And then he wondered what it would be like to actually be akumatized, he never talked to his friends about that, it always felt too personal to bring up. But now he wondered how they felt, did they feel violated, disgusted? Being akumatized was literally a punishment for having negative emotions. Hawkmoth used a literal baby as one of his weapons before. How could anyone move past that without thinking about it? Akumatized victims couldn’t remember what they did while akumatized but the news had no problem broadcasting it for the entire world to see. The entire world watched children become possessed by evil, while the children themselves couldn’t remember what they did in the first place.

His hatred for Hawkmoth grew in that moment, doubling in size like a weight in his chest. He, and Ladybug, needed to get his miraculous, they needed to do it quickly, it was only a matter of time before Hawkmoth became stronger, or gained followers. Lila Rossi popped in his mind only for a brief second as he turned a corner. She would probably follow Hawkmoth if anything to cause chaos, she was already a liar, a good one too. He still hadn’t been able to catch her in her lies but he knew he’d get there, eventually. Adrien learned over time and example that everyone showed their true colors, eventually, and one day Lila would slip up. He still kept evidence of her lies, recordings expertly hidden on his phone, labeled, they would be color coded if he could. God, he was a lunatic, wasn’t he? Oh well, nobody had to know that he detested Lila Rossi just about as much as Marinette did. Probably for the same reason, but it wasn’t something he talked about. He had to keep face, pretend like he tolerated Lila at the bare minimum. He needed to stop thinking about her, he could start feeling his own anger build in his chest and he didn’t need to be that wound up so early in the morning. He was supposed to be jogging to work out his stress, not build it up with stupid thoughts. Adrien pulled his phone out and stared at the clock. He’d been out for three hours, it was nine in the morning, he was late for school. Did he even want to go? Honestly, no, he didn’t. He still felt.. Ashamed of himself, and he knew why but at the same time he didn’t understand it. None of his friends were angry at him, they were just concerned.

But he still had the impending feeling that they were secretly mad, he couldn’t help but think that way. He was spending less and less time with them lately, and he wasn’t sure… He just wasn’t sure. He shook his head, clearing out the notifications from the group text. Maybe he should mute it for the time being?.. Maybe.. That would be best? Adrien unlocked his phone and opened the groupchat, trying to ignore the messages as best he could and that was when he heard it- Moth wings. He didn’t have much time to react, a black moth settled into the screen of his phone while his thumb hovered over the notification settings. “Always afraid of rejection, aren’t you Adrien?” He braced himself, clenching his fingers around his device. This wasn’t happening, not right now. It couldn’t be- it couldn’t be. He clenched his jaw tightly, closing his eyes.

This was his chance, he could actually hear Hawkmoth in his head, clearly. “Adrien Agreste, I am Hawkmoth-” No, he knew that voice, he can hear the light, condescending tone, the rich smoothness that occured when not clipped off into brief sentences. He’d heard that exact tone before, if only a few times in his life. Never was it directed at him. It was so familiar but at the same time, he couldn’t place it.. “I will give you this power in exchange for the Ladybug and Chat Noir miraculous-”

Adrien felt like his teeth were about to grind to powder. He didn’t have time to be akumatized, he really, really didn’t. He tilted his chin up, staring directly at nothing, literally nothing. The world around him was black and glowing purple closer to his eyes. “Go to hell.”

“Excuse me?”

“Is this some sort of power trip? Does it make you feel in control to have power over teenagers, to use and abuse their emotions to your own gain? Does it make you feel good, Hawkmoth?”

“You have no right to speak to me like this-” “You’re the one who came to me to get the Ladybug and Chat Noir miraculous, right? I think I’m in every right to speak to you however I decide to,” he could feel his heart racing in his chest as he spoke, and it was like the emotional dam he kept all of his thoughts behind was finally starting to break and fall apart, flooding him. His heart raced and his skin felt like it was on fire. Adrien had Hawkmoth trapped, he was resisting the akuma, there was no out. Not until he either accepted the akuma and Hawkmoth’s power, or if he threw his phone. Hawkmoth couldn’t back away. He felt himself smile as he talked, “Awe, silence, that’s cute. Aren’t you supposed to be a supervillain? Being shocked into silence by a 15 year old seems kind of beneath you, and horribly underwhelming at that.”

He could remember when his father commented that Adrien, like his mother, was incredibly dramatic. He would lay it on thick, just to have fun with it, or because he could tell he was making Hawkmoth uncomfortable. They were playing a game of cat and mouse. Somewhere in the back of his head, he remembered that cats could and would eat insects, it was quite literally a predator and prey scenario. Hawkmoth was ensnared in his trap, and like a good kitty, Adrien was going to play with him until he died.

“Is power not good enough for you? I am offering you immense-”

“Save it, I don’t need your power to get what I want,” he was still his father’s son. He was equally as good at getting into people’s heads. He learned from the best. “I really am just curious you know, about why you want their miraculous so badly. Is it to thwart them? What’s your prerogative?”

“You don’t need to know what I need beyond the miraculous!”

Adrien swore he heard Hawkmoth’s breath catch in the back of his throat, and he narrowed his own gaze. Some part of him wondered if anyone was watching, it was probably a spectacle. Model Adrien, arguing while Hawkmoth tried to akumatize him.

He tasted blood in his mouth, and his head started throbbing. “I.. I don’t have time for this, I don’t have time to terrorize Paris to get you some jewels,” he could tell his voice was starting to shake, but he couldn’t break down. He clenched his phone in his hand and he felt the screen start to split and splinter between his fingers. “Now isn’t that peculiar, no time?” He slipped up, he could feel it. He closed his eyes. He couldn’t lose his resolve, he needed to spin the control back in his favor, “I can strike you a deal, Hawkmoth. Give me a week and two days, keep the akuma in my phone, and I’ll give myself to you, no holds barred.” Adrien heard him breathe, probably considering the offer. He squeezed his phone even harder, “I have a box in my backpack that I can keep it in, just find a way to get in contact with me after that amount of time passes.” “And if I reject your offer?” Adrien scoffed, and rolled his eyes, whispering, “Then it’s your loss and you’ve just wasted your time arguing with a fifteen year old,” he’d break his phone, throw it, and set the akuma free. It’d go to someone else, he’s sure, or it wouldn’t. Suddenly he wasn’t positive, it was getting harder and harder to think. He straightened out his shoulders, exhaling slowly, “So. Deal or no deal? I don’t have all day.” Hawkmoth hummed in his ear, “I believe we have a deal, Adrien. But please be aware that all of your negative emotions will go into the akuma in your device. When you accept it, it’ll be much stronger than it is now. Are you prepared for that challenge?” Was he? This was his one connection to Hawkmoth, if he could get Hawkmoth to trust him, he could learn the truth about his identity, he could uncover him. It wasn’t the best way, or the most direct, but it was what he had. “I am, we’ll be in touch.”

And he dropped his phone. The world spun around him and his knees trembled as he crouched down on the concrete. His whole body shook and he took deep, gasping breaths. He felt like he just ran a marathon, everything ached. His phone was a shattered black brick, and he yanked his bag off his shoulder, thankful he actually brought it with him when he went out for his jog. Never had he opened something up so fast in his life but in seconds he had his phone in a little cardboard box, and he zipped it away in one of the many pockets inside. He felt like he was actively putting the nails in his own coffin as he shut his bag. His heart raced like crazy in his chest. But there was a weight on his shoulder, a small one. One that snuggled into his neck and whispered words that he couldn’t quite hear. So he closed his eyes, holding his bag close to him, guarding his latest secret. He counted to ten, and when he opened his eyes he realized he had been totally alone the whole time, hidden away in an alley. He must’ve been walking while talking to Hawkmoth, trying to get away, he must’ve been. Adrien sighed in relief and looked down at his kwami, “I don’t think Ladybug’s gonna be proud of this one,” his voice was raspy. “But it’s the closest thing we have to Hawkmoth, right?” Plagg said, nuzzling closer. “I have to explain it to her on our next patrol.. This secret, I can’t keep this to myself. Too many people could get hurt,” his friends would hate him if they knew what he was harboring. He willfully struck a deal with Hawkmoth, who the hell did that? Apparently Adrien Agreste did that. He felt Plagg pop back into his bag and at first he thought it was because of a person, but when he looked up, he was simply greeted with a little black cat standing in front of him. It was painfully ironic, but Adrien stuck his hand out, slowly, barely extending his fingers towards it, “Alone out here too?” He mused to the cat. All the cat did was meow at him and sniff his hand, rubbing it’s head against him. He scratched behind it’s ears and it wandered closer to him. Eventually the cat situated itself in his lap, purring contently in his hands. “Adrien, shouldn’t you be in class?” Adrien jumped out of his skin, flattening his back against the wall as he caught the cat, making sure to stroke it gently. “Jesus Christ,” he put a hand against his heart, looking up at his latest assailant and to his shock it was.. Marinette.

“.. Shouldn’t you be in class too?” She was still in her pajamas, not that he was much better off. He was in a lavender sweatshirt and leggings, not exactly the most put together look. Hell, he didn’t wear purple.. Ever, unless it was an accent color. And his hair wasn’t done and he didn’t have time to do his morning skincare. But Marinette turned pink and she laughed, rubbing the back of her neck, “Y-yeah, I should be, I just uhm, was catching up on homework and I saw one of those black butterflies come by and I got worried so I tried following it but then I got lost, it’s a mess. I was gonna try and get something for the Ladyblog as a present for Alya but well, lost it.” Adrien couldn’t help it, he smiled sympathetically, “I was just out for a jog, got too caught up in my thoughts and I ended up here,” he shrugged while he talked, easily making up a lie. Not that it was a full one, he did end up there because he was talking to Hawkmoth, in his head, because if it was out loud than he was positive someone else would’ve seen him. He cleared his throat, “But look, when I realized I was lost, this cool cat sauntered over, look at how pretty uh..” he checked it’s underside as cooly as he could, “She is?” Marinette gasped and crouched down with him, “Oh, she’s gorgeous, probably a stray, oh.. People always say black cats are bad luck.” Yeah, tell me about it. He tried not to roll his eyes but he nodded, “It keeps them from getting adopted, I read an article about it.” Marinette worried her lip and Adrien just watched her. Her hair was a little messy, and she certainly wasn’t dressed for the weather. It was only natural for him to take off his sweater and hand it to her, pulling the cat closer to him. He was wearing a tank-top beneath it, and her eyes widened as he passed it over. “It’s gonna snow today. Here, take this, and I’ll walk you home so you can get dressed.” “You, you don’t have to do that,” she stuttered and waved her hands. Adrien smiled, “No, I insist. I’ve been.. Really busy lately and I feel bad for not being able to spend time together. Besides, it’s cold. You’ll get sick walking around in pajamas. Please, I have an extra one at school.” Marinette looked hesitant, but Adrien pushed a little harder. She nodded and finally took it, pulling it over her head. It was probably two sizes too big and she looked.. Really pretty in purple. He felt his cheeks heat up and he couldn’t keep his own smile off his face. “Where are you going to keep the cat?” Adrien stopped, and he looked back down at the cat, who only mewed at him and pawed back at him for his hands. He ran his fingers through her fur again and shrugged, “I can probably keep her at my place.” “Will your father let you?” “Oh, absolutely not, so I won’t tell him,” he answered easily with a shrug, and then a smile, “I’ll make sure she finds a good home, I promise. We should get going, we don’t wanna be too late, right?” Marinette smiled, and held her hand out. For a moment, Adrien didn’t know what to do. He stared at her open palm and looked back down at the cat. He managed to shift the feline comfortably into one arm and he let Marinette pull him up. She was strong, and he was positively red in the face. “Besides, we can get breakfast at the bakery before we go, oh, and my dad can probably lend you a jacket!” She talked as she walked and Adrien followed. He didn’t think she ever had this much confidence before but it made him feel proud, she wasn’t stuttering around him anymore. Did she not hate him? Was he finally able to correct whatever he did wrong? A warm feeling bloomed in his chest and he nodded. “That sounds nice, thank you.” She turned over her shoulder and she grinned at him, and all at once he felt free.

#bee writes #ml #miraculous ladybug #hawkmoth #chat noir #ladybug #adrien agreste #gabriel agreste #marinette dupain cheng #angst #miraculous ladyangst #fic #ao3

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