chocolatechipbrowniefudge

[chocolatechipbrowniefudge]

about forgetting: no matter how hard you try to, you just can’t forget certain things. i don’t wanna say these memories haunt you. they walk with you, they sit with you, they are simply next to you. and one little impetus is all it takes for them to take you back in time. actually, no, they bring things from the past to you. to you, who are moving through life, having chosen to leave these memories behind or forced to. either way you don’t have space in your life for them now and all for good reason. but suddenly it’s the 2nd of august and you look at the date and it’s someone’s birthday the next day; you’re doing the dishes and a scent wafts through your window and it’s that person’s cologne; you’re at a cafe and they’re playing that 1975 song - it was your former best friend’s favourite song. some details become etched into you, indelible, you can’t wipe them off. and over time these recollections actually even go from being bittersweet to just sweet. because, it wouldn’t matter if these people aren’t present in your life anymore, the part of them in you will always be.

[chocolatechipbrowniefudge]

everyday i have at least 3 moments where i’m 2 seconds away from bursting into tears

[chocolatechipbrowniefudge]

when ed sheeran said, “come and kiss me, salt water, i’m free in salt water, embrace the deep and leave everything”

[chocolatechipbrowniefudge]

one thing i just know for sure is that it always gets better. you always get through it. even when you feel like you’re being dragged right back into it, even when you feel so defeated and down despite feeling great just before, you’re always going to be fine. even if not forever, you’ll feel fine soon, for at least a brief period. sadness may come back but happiness does again too. how can feeling horrible ever be final when the highs and the lows are always alternating. how can any feeling ever be final. what is final anyway. everything is changing. like it is supposed to. be all there and take it all in as these feelings wash over you because that’s all there is to do.

[chocolatechipbrowniefudge]

In my everything makes me burst into tears era

[chocolatechipbrowniefudge]

when one direction said, “to be loved and to be in love”

[chocolatechipbrowniefudge]

it doesn’t really matter how much you’re doing because a part of you is always going to feel like you’re not doing enough. you’re going to feel like you’re wasting away your time and life when everyone else around supposedly has their lives sorted out. when you feel that way maybe try to remember that everyone’s going crazy and they’re all also just figuring out things as they’re going about it. that’s pretty much all there is to life. you’re put in a situation you have know idea how to get through. but you do and then there’s another one and you get through it again and then there’s another one and you get through it yet again.

[chocolatechipbrowniefudge]

i need you to talk to me, not just about the sun and the skies 

but about the love you see when you look into my eyes, 

wondering aloud about the complex why’s, 

and if we’d be sad, if we’d lose our minds, 

if we’d be deranged, when one of us dies

[chocolatechipbrowniefudge]

i don’t think i know what’s going on and i’m not sure when i got on board

[chocolatechipbrowniefudge]

i love it when someone remembers something i mentioned. and “mentioning” is so much more significant than actually talking about it because when you think you mention something to someone you weren’t really expecting them to recall it or that you figured they weren’t entirely paying attention to what you were saying. once, i mentioned it to one of my friends that i was tutoring this kid which was not something a lot of people knew. later, when he asked me about it, asking if i was free and if i didn’t have to tutor the kid because he remembered that that was what i was upto in the evenings, i was so pleasantly surprised. it made me feel loved. i guess we underestimate the kind of impact we have on others - here, both, me underestimating the fact that my friend would remember that and him, perhaps, not even knowing that the fact that he remembered meant a great deal to me.

[chocolatechipbrowniefudge]

you don’t have to force a positive mindset on yourself 24/7. while it’s good to keep things like self love and self care in mind, it’s okay to let yourself feel sad or hurt over things. it’s okay to take time to grieve or reflect. your emotions are not your enemy and they don’t need to be suppressed constantly. remember it’s okay to feel.

[chocolatechipbrowniefudge]

🥰

Henry Pether

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