chubbylittlebumblebee - Tumblr blog

[chubbylittlebumblebee]

My morals and politics come from 70s folk rock like my uncle’s comes from the New Testament.

I’m just as likely to become a train hopper and have comunion with an old god in the body of my wife as he is to tear apart a televangelist’s megachuch with a whip.

Both of us search for meaning in the darkness between the stars.

[chubbylittlebumblebee]

took me a while to sound out why the final fifteen felt so isolated from all the other arguments that they've had before, but "they aren't talking" might have led me to arrive at why that is. because whilst we have the "so did i" and bandstand arguments to compare it to, the closest that the final fifteen mirrors, for me, is their very first one that we see on screen; the holy water incident (and I'm 100% sure others have observed this but im slow)

the incident where crowley has experienced something that he's playing down to aziraphale, asks aziraphale for something to help him that only aziraphale can give to him, it turns out to be too much to ask of aziraphale, so he refuses, and they split apart. turn all of this around on its head, and you have the final fifteen. (and im going to put the caveat here: no, i do not think aziraphale has been threatened by the metatron and is communicating this in code to crowley, but yes i do think he feels threatened by the metatron; i think he's genuinely eager to take this opportunity, but equally he's not stupid).

so then they go through 79 years of silence, of not talking, and come to 1941, where aziraphale lands himself in a spot of bother, and crowley breaks their silence by coming to the rescue. they get through the church fiasco, and aziraphale enlists crowley's help in the bullet catch ("trust me"), without ever discussing the holy water - all the while, their affection and love for each other is broiling just beneath the surface. perhaps it stands to reason that the same will happen in s3; that crowley will find himself in a Situation, aziraphale turns up to get him out of it - using it as an Excuse - and they end up on the subject of the second coming etc., and crowley reluctantly agrees to help resolve it, but only with the unspoken provision that they, absolutely, do not discuss what happened in the bookshop.

but what about the missing scene of 1941? well, there have been hundreds of different speculations of what could have happened; they actually do discuss the holy water, or there's otherwise a bit of a vulnerable heart-to-heart, there's a kiss, there's an almost-kiss, there's a fight involving the zombies, the derringer comes out to play, crowley gets yanked back to hell again, or gets discorporated... but whatever happens evidently informs on the atmosphere attributable in 1967 - because it's not until 1967 that aziraphale considers his hand forced, cares so much for crowley that he'll do the very thing that he's previously refused to do - gives crowley the holy water - but then puts distance between them again. perhaps the same kinda of thing happens somewhere around ep3/4 of s3; that they finally get to a point where what happened - the kiss, the offer, the mutual rejection - can't be ignored any longer, and a full-bore-full-roar argument erupts at perhaps the most inopportune time, to the point it's just comical, leading them to the point where they finally both understand where they stand with each other, what the other meant, and wanted.

so look, im not saying that crowley is suddenly going to change his mind about going to heaven, in order to track with aziraphale's 180° on the holy water; that doesn't make much sense. and it similarly doesn't make much sense for them to create distance between them like they seem to have done in 1967. if anything, this time it's the impetus they need to get everything out and laid bare, nothing bitten back, nothing squashed down and restrained. "you go too fast for me" suddenly becomes "we're finally on the same page."

[chubbylittlebumblebee]

Photographed by Marc Brenner

All hail, Macbeth! Hail to thee, Thane of Glamis! All hail, Macbeth! Hail to thee, Thane of Cawdor! All hail, Macbeth, that shalt be king hereafter!

[chubbylittlebumblebee]

Crowley is like that popular kid in school that everyone wanted to work with and hoped he will remember them. Do you remember me? Do you? What about me? Remember I stood right by you!

He was high rank, he was clever, he was doing the interesting jobs. And he was such a joy.

And then you have Aziraphale who was a cherub but he also liked the pretty Starmaker, and look at him being a determined Angel from the very beginning. The way he was planning that Ball in S2? So determined, just like he was to finally meet the Starmaker who he had a crush on. So he waited and tried to stay close and finally, finally the Starmaker called him over.

And he was everything he imagined. Well, apart from the fact that he had a crush on his stars not on Aziraphale, but hey he could work with that.

Besides, he was kind.

And sweet

And didn’t treat Aziraphale like he was less.

6 thousand years later Aziraphale still looks at him the same.

And Crowley pretends he doesn’t remember any of the Angels, apart from one.

The one who was kind to him back.

[chubbylittlebumblebee]

Okay, I’m posting this here because it keeps getting taken down on insta and I’m done. This is supposed to be a fandom page where I post things I love and don’t stress about other things but I have to say this somewhere.

We have to stop wasting our social and emotional energy on trying to get companies to stop greenhouse emissions. It isn’t going to do enough, I want to be hopeful but we have to be realistic. We can still keep those kinds of things in mind, ride public transportation, e-bikes, compost etc… Our focus needs to shift to coping with climate change now. We have to start putting in place measures that will give us a safety net as things get worse.

We have to start thinking about coastal cities now, how to get people out when it starts to flood. NYC, DC, Sydney, Hong Kong, Tokyo, Cape Town, Rio de Jenaro, Mumbai, Venice, all of them will become unlivable and climate refugees need to go somewhere.

Places that will be safe need to prepare for large swaths of refugees, that means lots of housing complexes, and less single family homes. Strong communities will be essential, pick a place and stay there as long as you can. The goal has be to build up individual communities as much as you can, that is where you can do the most good. Do what you can to reduce poverty and homelessness. Tear down hostile architecture, make sure people know they are loved and wanted.

We need to localize as the global systems collapse, that means large local farms, people getting back into trades, small maintainable power grids, and making our cities walkable and transitioning to electric bikes instead of cars. We may be able to power large cities with nuclear, but we have to work on making it safer, preferably with thorium than uranium.

We need to find ways to create medicines without large mechanical systems, as well as creating disability aids. We can not rely on massed produced items. We need to start learning practical skills and get back into traditional trades.

We have to go back to paper instead of digital. All of the digital archives will be lost when we can no longer support global internet. All records of births, deaths, family trees, literature, cultural histories, all of it needs to be protected so it isn’t destroyed.

Indigenous people come first and foremost as they will be our guiding lights. They shouldn’t have to be, but they have the knowledge of survival and reciprocity on the local lands.

We have to get rid of the damns and restore those areas. They cause far too many floods as they deteriorate and the space that will gained makes for more livable land. Areas like Las Vegas can’t exist anymore; it takes too much water to keep them running and it isn’t sustainable in the long run.

We have to change our food system, meat animals currently take up too much space and resources as well as monoculture. Animals need to be raised locally, at the bear minimum, while keeping cultural foods around is important, nutrition has to come first. We need a three sisters type of approach to local farming, cultivating things that grow intertwined and benefit from each other and we need to do it regionally.

Food waste en mass is unacceptable - not finishing a meal because you are full is fine - supermarkets will eventually become obsolete but in the mean time we have to use things until the very end, until it it fully expired. No tossing out day old bread, fresh produce, anything that can be eaten.

I know this isn’t everything, policing, government, water treatment, the way we build, money, education, protecting cultural practices and artifacts, population centers, there are so many things I could go into but I’m not going to write a full essay on tumblr. The point of this is even though we can’t stop global warming, we have so much else to do. I am still alive today because this is my mission. I have lived my life with respect and compassion in everything I do, my goal of reducing suffering is how I make my personal and political decisions. I am doing all can to make the world a little better every day, and taking care of myself.

We either transition slowly now, or all at once later, and the latter involves a lot of suffering and death. In the meantime, speak out against genocide, turn your anger into action, find joy, and know your power.

(It’s really hard for me to cite my sources on this one because how do I cite my whole last semester of university, I’ll ask my prof and see if she has any ideas)

[chubbylittlebumblebee]

He never lets us forget how amazing he is and I am 100% here for it.

Photos by Marc Brenner

David Tennant & Cush Jumbo - Macbeth

More Here

[chubbylittlebumblebee]

I’m so hungry for the “wait and see” cycle again. It brings me so much joy and I’m so ready for it. (Be respectful about though please)

and so it begins.

[chubbylittlebumblebee]

i am having a time y'all, my brain is chewing on that one fucking sentence like a dog on a bone, so have some hurt/comfort with a nice dose of angst.

-

They aren't talking.

It isn't impossible, even with Aziraphale back in heaven and Crowley in his lonely flat in Mayfair—nothing is impossible, not when they're together—and yet that is the problem, isn't it?

They aren't together. They aren't talking. They could.

Crowley thought about it, although there is little else he thinks about these days. Maybe if he had said more, chosen better words, kissed him earlier, run after him, pulled him back—

Maybe then he'd still be here. Maybe then he wouldn't be alone.

It is the emptiness weighing him down, the silence ringing in his ears, and how does he admit to himself that he misses his voice? His soft words, the stretch of his smile, the speeches about Hamlet and book restoration, about newly discovered cafés and ancient dishes long gone.

Aziraphale had lulled him to sleep more times than Crowley could count, a warm blanket wrapping around his curled-up body on the sofa, sprawling and moving, then calmed by his voice.

They aren't talking, and Crowley can't sleep.

He hears him in his dreams whenever he does, but it isn't his voice. It is twisted, warped, wrong, tainted by the acrid burn of bleach on his tongue, the meaning lost in the hollows where emotions should sit.

Days blur into each other, viscous and opaque, molasses trickling through an hourglass.

Sometimes he is scared he will forget how he sounds.

Sometimes he begs and pleads with his own mind to erase every memory of it, every 'I forgive you', every 'we're not friends', every endearment, every single time he said his name.

They aren't talking, and maybe that's for the better.

He said too much again, didn't he? Always talking too much, spilling the wrong secrets held tight to his chest, asking questions no one wants to answer.

So, after weeks of uninterrupted quiet, he simply stops. Crowley's mouth stays shut, his words chewed up and swallowed, and—on unpleasant occasions—thrown up. There are a myriad of things he wants to say, but there is no one left who might be willing to listen, not anymore.

Maybe there had never been someone to begin with.

They aren't talking. The world is about to end.

Aziraphale reaches for his hand, and he lets him, his fingertips cold, his pulse too quick.

"Crowley," he breathes, tender, reverent, a name said simply so it has been spoken, so it is real.

Crowley does not want to talk—not now, not yet, not when he can practically taste blood and ash on his tongue. With a gentle tug, he frees his hand from his grasp and pulls him into a hug instead.

They aren't talking, so he buries his face in the crook of his neck and breathes, holding and being held, and the haunting silence dissipates. Words are superfluous when there is the sound of his heartbeat, his trembling breaths, their clothes rustling as the embrace grows tighter and tighter.

They aren't talking, but they don't need to, not when Aziraphale cups his face and presses their foreheads together, not when Crowley slides his palm around the back of his neck and nudges their lips together just so.

They are talking—every gasp a word, every touch a phrase, every tear an apology and a promise at once.

They are talking, they aren't talking, they still love—violently, desperately—and the world does not end.

[chubbylittlebumblebee]

I woke up this morning to season three and I’m done for the day if you need me all be screaming in my basement.

(Also I put Aziraphale and Crowley’s Angelic Playlist up on Apple Music so have fun)

[chubbylittlebumblebee]

I accidentally stopped thinking about my hyper-fixation for a sec and remembered how alone I am. Won’t fuckin do that again.

I need to go to sleep

[chubbylittlebumblebee]

I lived so I could watch/listen to middle aged He/Theys fight capitalism, heal their traumas, find joy, and make a better life for themselves and their loved ones. Even if I done make it that far myself, at least I know what could have been and that is enough for me.

every time i start to feel cringe for being too deep in the hyperfixation i remember the intense depression i have waded through and have to remind myself that enjoyment is fleeting (so grab it with both hands), and life is for loving (so hold that love close), and if anyone thinks i’m cringe they must not be having a very good time (and i hope they can find a good time soon).

[chubbylittlebumblebee]

Canon GO things that are important & should be talked abt more

- crowley miracles his clothes on so he never actually wears clothes

- aziraphale just causally has a gun in his bookshop what the hell is up w that

- Crowleys favorite TV show is the golden girls

- Literally everyone who meets azi immediately assumes that he is gay and british.

- Anathema just legit assumed that crowley and aziraphale were a couple.

- Aziraphale is a doctor who fan??? This guy is a nerd lmfao

- Crowleys favorite animal is kids. What does that even mean Mr. Gaiman

- Azi calls crowley “my dear” and this is very important to me

- Shadwell thought that azi was a russian spy ???

- Crowley slept for an ENTIRE CENTURY.

- Azis tax reports are so incredibly accurate that the authorities got suspicious.

- the apology dance exists and idfk what to do with that information

- When crowley told az that he changed his name, az asked if he changed it to asmodeus. The demon of lust. Dude.

- Crowley doesnt blink a lot, and he has a tendency to hiss. And can do weird things with his tounge.

- The. The discreet gentlemans club that aziraphale joined was an actual club. And it was a gay club. He learned to gavotte at a gay club.

- early versions of the gavotte involved kissing- bro???

- AZ STARTS HIS JOURNAL ENTRIES WITH “DEAR DIARY” BRO I LOVE HIM HES SO DUMB

- THYE LIKE HOLDING HANDSSS

- Crowleh invented game shows

- CROWLEY IS A HOZIER FAN???

- Az likes abba and death cab for cutie (ofc he does)

[chubbylittlebumblebee]

you know, i was getting all sorts of ick feelings from the apology dance, and I'm so glad you pointed that out as not actually very cute or romantic in one of your posts, because yeah. it wasn't.

anyways i also just really love all of your crowley meta it's so well thought out and everything about trauma and healthy relationships i- it's just all amazing, so thank you (and sorry for the rambling lol)

Thank you! And never feel bad for rambling, I love rambling with people about this show.

The apology dance is such a sore spot for me, the entire first episode is, really. At first it seems - cute, funny, you laugh, and then don't think about it too much.

But then you do think about it and suddenly it is everything but romantic.

I might write a whole meta post about it at some point but the summary is basically as follows.

Aziraphale calls Crowley to meet him in the café and we're literally starting off with "don't say anything" for no reasons, but alright. Then he talks around the point, lies to Crowley's face, and eventually brings him to the bookshop only because Nina sped the whole thing up with the naked man comment. Aziraphale does not warn Crowley, doesn't say anything, nothing. Just jumps it on him.

THEN he refuses to "ask him properly", expecting Crowley to play bad cop and do the dirty work.

When Crowley tries to be a fucking adult about it and actually talk to Aziraphale in private, Aziraphale is already not listening to him. We get the "exactly" question, Aziraphale ignores every single issue Crowley points out because he has already decided what he is going to do. What he wants from Crowley is not a solution - he wants him to say "yes and" and do what he has in mind.

He THEN behaves like a fucking five year old with his "You're at liberty to go". I am holding myself back here but in short, this is a manipulation tactic. He is LITERALLY guilt tripping Crowley.

Crowley is incredibly taken aback and rightfully hurt, and Aziraphale feels bad and goes back to begging him for help - and Crowley almost says yes. He is about to say yes because he loves him and wants to keep him save.

Aziraphale however, for fucking childish reasons, goes back to his temper tantrum and throws "if you won't, you won't" into Crowley's face, sits down, and watches him leave. After HE called HIM for help because again, he didn't want help. He wanted a "yes of course aziraphale do you want a massage too or maybe a cocktail?"

But nooooo, of course it's Crowley who needs to apologize, and the fact that he is forced into doing the dance by Aziraphale is such a funny haha romantic laugh moment and not at all the fucking climax of Aziraphale's entire manipulation tactic.

Yeah. Fuck that, is my final thought. Conclusion: not funny, someone get Crowley into a healthier environment asap.

this turned into a little meta post i hope you don't mind rip i'm in a mood today

[chubbylittlebumblebee]

How is this not plastered wall to wall all over tumbler yet.

Everything new I learn about this series makes me love it tenfold.

[chubbylittlebumblebee]

Honestly I do think they need to heal together because Az was absolutely manipulated into returning to what is basically a cult. I also love the idea that Crowley is learning to set boundaries and care for himself. I know he won’t but he would be totally justified if he did.

Crowley watches him silently, motionless, and with his shades securely in place. If he has been counting correctly, and he rather assumes he has, then Aziraphale has been talking uninterruptedly for twenty-five minutes and two seconds now.

Three seconds.

"…so, I'm sorry, Crowley. I'm so, so sorry."

He is wringing his hands, unable to stand still, and shifting his weight slightly from foot to foot, searching for Crowley's gaze and failing. The sudden silence feels almost odd, the expectation rolling off Aziraphale in waves even more so, only infinitely heavier, and for a moment, he entertains the thought playing the part Aziraphale has thrust upon him.

But only for a moment.

"Right," Crowley responds, tightening his grip on the door and pressing his other palm against the frame, effectively barring Aziraphale from entering like he has been for the last twenty-six minutes.

"Anything else?"

Confusion wrinkles his forehead, and his fingers no longer turn his ring round and round over a stretch of reddened skin. Maybe it is the utter monotony of Crowley's voice or the lack of reaction in general, but Aziraphale seems, finally, at a loss for words. His mouth opens and closes a few times, his eyebrows knitting together, and Crowley allows him another thirty seconds of patient waiting, after which he calls it a day.

"Great."

He steps back and closes his front door, normally and without slamming it, locks it, and then miracles up a deadbolt for good measure, before picking up his cup of coffee from the chest of drawers (still hot if it knows what's good for it) and strolling back to the living room.

Eighteen months. A year and a half. Another apocalypse is dawning on the world, but if there is anything the last six millennia have taught him, it's that humanity will fix it anyway; they have a knack for that, always outsmarting heaven and hell alike. Well, and him, since he is neither here nor there—so, a special mention to the former angel slash demon Crowley, thank you very much.

A familiar pain tugs at his stomach nevertheless, a faded lightning bolt of distress shivers down his spine, and Crowley sinks into the cushions with a sigh, kicking his feet up onto the coffee table and pressing play on Queer Eye again. The ache will never fully disappear, but it has lessened, and he has learned how to live with it, how to breathe around the crudely stitched-up black hole in his chest.

Aziraphale left, and Crowley stayed. It's really simple, in hindsight, and after weeks of moping and crying, being completely wasted for days at a time, and overall being so miserable, every single one of his plants stopped being scared and became concerned instead, Crowley had picked himself off the floor and kept moving.

Not moving on is worse, Nina had told him during one of their board game nights (none of them can resist Muriel's angelic puppy eyes in that regard, and it is, admittedly, kind of fun), and she had been right.

He still loves him, fuck, of course he does; he doubts he will ever stop. Yet if Aziraphale thinks showing up uninvited and monologuing without pause for twenty-five minutes is going to fix anything, he is sorely mistaken.

'Listen, do you hear that?'

'I don't hear anything.'

Ironic, somehow, that Aziraphale is still not listening to him. Crowley will wait because it's Aziraphale, because he loves him, because despite everything, he is fucking lonely and misses him enough to be tempted to take him back without any apologies whatsoever.

Just tempted, though. His barricades and well-practiced self-control are going strong.

He has to be sure this time. He has to be sure that Aziraphale won't break him again, because the most recent incident almost killed him, and Crowley loves earth, loves him—but he has to love himself more than he loves his angel, or it will destroy them both.

Jonathan van Ness gives some poor sod a new haircut, Crowley drinks his piping hot coffee, and Aziraphale goes home.

It's a nice Tuesday, all things considered.

-

i'm sorry but also not :)

[chubbylittlebumblebee]

[chubbylittlebumblebee]

Please read the whole post before commenting. I’ve never made a public post like this before so bear with me if it seams long-winded.

Recently @hg-aneh has been bombarded with extremely upsetting comments since they confirmed that they do ship Crowley and Muriel.

First off, it is never okay to dog pile on someone who is not already in the wide scale public eye. Calling someone a pedophile because of fictional ships is never okay. Lashing out at someone is not going to help them see your point of view, it automatically puts them on the defense and no one makes any progress either way. If you see someone has commented the same thing you were going to say, don’t. It is a terrible feeling to see 100 notifications and know they will all be people tearing you apart.

Quelin Sepulveda is an adult. Muriel is canonically thousands of years old. They might find solace in Crowley, who I know would deeply care for them. Crowley is a character who fosters curiosity and wonder in other characters. Muriel has that inherently, and it is logical to assume that as Crowley is alone they would naturally come together in some way.

From Muriel’s perspective, Crowley is one of the first people to like them for simply being themselves. He is going to be their first constant in 6000 years that isn’t demeaning or critical. He will introduce them to earth and all the beautiful things within. (Just like he did with Aziraphale.) For the first time they will experience affection compassion; they will be important.

Crowley would have someone who needs and loves him. Muriel is also someone who isn’t critical and would see Crowley for who he really is. Muriel mirrors pre-fall Crowley in so many ways, it would be imposible for him not to care for them. They won’t shut him down like Aziraphale would, it would probably be easier to tell what they want.

Crowley also knows more about earth, heaven, and hell than any other being has except God and The Metatron. He understands the inherent traumas that heaven and hell inflict on everyone. He knows what’s coming. He knows what is at stake.

Throughout their life Muriel has only spoken to people once every 300 years. Yes they take records so they probably know some things, but only from Heaven’s point of view and without context. Most of those they do meet are unkind as they see Muriel as the lowest in their ranks. You can see how nervous they are when Saraqael brings them to speak to Uriel and Micheal about Gabriel’s matchbox. Muriel knows so little about earth that they have to be taught how to drink tea. They do not have any idea how to interact with anyone because they never got the chance to. During the season they are in an entirely new place with new people and they have no experience with any of it, so much so that they are easily manipulated twice. Once about Aziraphale and Crowley’s secret meeting, and again when Crowley gets them to “arrest” him. They don’t have enough experience to know that they even could be manipulated or abused. They think that everyone has their best interest at heart.

The knowledge gap between Crowley and Muriel’s is reminiscent of that of movies like Tron Legacy, Fifty First Dates, Fifth Element, the original Planet of the Apes, and Splash. If you have made it this far Pop Culture Detective does a great job at explaining it.

Muriel is definitely autism coded and autistic people are frequently infantilized, but most of us know basic things about the world. We haven’t been stuck in an empty room for thousands of years. It is common for those with immense trauma to find a romantic connection for the first person who was truly kind to them. That’s why doctors can’t date their patients, teachers can’t date their students, and therapist can’t date their clients. Muriel doesn’t even know what romance is or what it entails for them or Crowley. (Aziraphale has also been super autism coded this season so we don’t just have Muriel)

But that’s only the case for the current cannon. It’s okay to retcon things in your own works, to go through different scenarios with characters that would allow them to interact differently. It’s okay to wonder about different characters and see them as a couple. It’s always important to take a step back to see the whole picture before commenting on something like this. I love the Good Omens fandom, it has allowed me to be myself and meet new people. I don’t want this fandom to become a toxic place. We already have to deal with homophobia and transphobia bearing down on us from the outside. We just want to make and experience art together.

Thank you so much for reading through all of this, it is really important that we support each other right now and I hope that everybody, especially @hg-aneh is doing well (I can’t imagine how exhausting this whole ordeal has been). If this conversation does continue please do so from a place of respect. If you wish to bring anything else to my attention, please do so. I am always looking to learn more and I am always open to different ideas and ways of thinking.

Keep being beautiful beautiful humans, and take care of each other.