classystudentclown - Tumblr blog

[classystudentclown]

I sleep. Get swept up into dreams.

A Mare of conquest that can defeat what I believe. Leads to screams. Gasping breath. Cold sweats.

Laugh it off at sunrise, like a jest or a joke. My next night is a little more trepidatiously approached.

Where is hope?

In the words of strangers who understand danger and strawman scopes...

Polarized or divided, when we have so much in common we can be tied together like a host. Follow the rope.

Robots or ghosts.

Agitation, peace or boasts.

Bent to achieve more than the broken path I've traveled, so I pump my legs instead of coast.

[classystudentclown]

I have slipped into a wonderful world of indifference. Understanding seems insignificant, as I try to take it in.

I am lost without understanding a cost. Without being bought, paid for or taught. Taunting the world. Like a chocolate cookie on a string, hooked and fought.

The lost art. With words that have heavy cost. Hooks tied and line taunt

If the mind is consumed, there might not be loss.

In love. Distraught, knowing they couldn't know my name, with a history that haunts.

[classystudentclown]

Everyone should watch Hamilton. More than once.

[classystudentclown]

There is no such thing as small words. That's absurd. Give yourself room, be perturbed, and learn.

Life isn't a lesson to be learned at a glance. It's observed and lived through happenstance.

Just like misery and woe, somethings we have to outlive and outgrow.

It's about a smile and a nod. A how you doing today without a response. It's about being better just for you.

It's about the mystery of discovering what is really you.

It's about profound facts. Analyzing nonsense with friends that talk back. About listening when the world is really loud.

About the silence that comes down...

It's about the nonsense. Understanding everything means nothing, and it was well spent.

About friends. About family. About amends.

About figuring out you are loved, and what, then?

It's about a future full of mistakes. About getting better without breaks.

Definitely about strawberry shakes, and how to enjoy it contemplating the insanity that takes.

Stop being so hard on yourself.

This lie is unreal, despite how you feel.

Just relax and understand, the news is only as bad as they have one hand.

Stand up and protect each other.

If you can see theirs eyes, you are sisters and brothers. Look at the world through a skewed lens, and treat everyone like they're friends.

[classystudentclown]

I have so many questions I want to find out about you, questions I can never ask.

I'm reserved, it has a lot to do with a tragic past.

I want to know. More than the pursuit of an ask. But, I sit on my hands, waiting for happenstance.

Better times. In a life I want to know more about.

[classystudentclown]

Another double rainbow caught on camera and shared.

These wonderful views come randomly, but I got two in two days. I want to write a poem, but I'll just share so everyone can appreciate it.

[classystudentclown]

There is more beautiful days on the horizon. Sunshine or rain, clouds of pain. Circumstances get worse,but they don't stay the same.

[classystudentclown]

I find myself in the shoes of an altruistic naive, trying not to smile. Shaded in parades. Wishing to escape.

Knowing the world is full of hate and depraved. Knowing it as home, seeking escape among the brave.

Instead of the tame. The people put on pedestal positions, lordy and vain.

Is that what it means to be insane? To think people cared about something as simple as my name?

Do victims deserve real truth? Obtuse.

What angle becomes and angel is the media's ruse to abuse a disenfranchised section of society that served a purpose? A boot?

No truth. I know what the Fox says.

It doesn't respect you.

[classystudentclown]

Another Monday passes, until Friday slips.

We put on fragile masks like life is something easily missed.

Back to school schedules are at odds with backpack costs.

It's hard to be a lonely sinner looking at a World easily bought and quickly lost.

I'm only a saint in the ways sinners are put on display. A victim in ways, dolls have difficult ways to explain.

Maimed and tortured.

My memories are flames. And every moment of memory I explain puts me on full display. Cruelty born in a childhood I try to block out, like there was a better way.

A better way.

A more beautiful life.

Running to the bathroom with a beautiful knife...

[classystudentclown]

Maybe demons can be on the side of humans beseeching, like we can barely believe. Breath or speak.

Spectrums leech.

At the top, but temples crumble underneath knowledge unleashed.

[classystudentclown]

I feel like I'm falling into a future I don't understand.

Hope, friendship and family after being a solitary man.

Relegated to the back of my mind is a life I'll never have.

Insane and bewildered. With people who are willing to sit with me until they understand.

[classystudentclown]

Sometimes, I slip. I dip.

Psyche drip

I fall into a darkness that feels like a tumultuous abyss.

I don't think I will be missed.

Blends well in a crowd, quick to forget. Left in totes carried and ripped from existence.

I would defend and call my parents because I miss them.

It hurts, to be exactly where I am.

Running into an old friend, who could be doing so much better if we raised the standards of what it means to be men.

Lonely, heartbroken, and life misstepped.

How do you escape circles tightening unto death.

[classystudentclown]

I have to receive my nightmares like on display, hoping I intercepted nightmares that can walk in the day.

Tortured, trying to preserve amongst the landscape a serene view that quickly evaporates.

[classystudentclown]

My heart aches, from grave mistakes.

That strangers try to forgive.

My heart breaks, in a tragic place, that barely allows me to live.

Alone, I try to be better, but the nightmares hold me accountable for not being good enough against my sin.

[classystudentclown]

Raucous laughter and friendly jeers;

Desperate jokes and victims tears:

These moments of mockery are very clear,

And, they will always separate me from my peers.

I don't bond well with bullies,

I keep myself quietly aloof,

With each moment agonized and miserable...

Spelling out my doom.

What makes me different?

Keeps me separated when submerged?

I notice the loneliness inside,

The terrified kid lashing out.

We are all hiding from something,

Which leaves us something else to talk about.

[classystudentclown]

I'm not supposed to adopt any more animals? Then why is this kitty sitting in my chair? 😭

[classystudentclown]

People don't understand me.

They get so much confused.

Between abuse, betrayal, and heartfelt truce.

Eyes linger over the obtuse. Like angles are angels to be misused with a ruse.

Hard on all sides, even uneven angles prove to be irrefutable truth.

In the eyes of Heaven, everything has direction for use.

In the eyes of the shallow man I am, only room to improve.