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so apparently as of five years ago this blog turned one according to my email

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does ANYONE have a copy saved of back to the place or the present and the distance i’m begging you please

(both of these fics were written by behindthec on livejournal, whose lj was deleted)

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Here’s the thing:

I’m aromantic. (In case you couldn’t tell by the icon, obviously, but that was changed relatively recently.) So, I know exactly how damaging soulmate AUs can be in a world of amatonormativity.

But I still wrote IWFYA&A. Why?

I wanted to tackle those topics in a way that would please someone like me, and so I did.

I tried my best, at least.

There’s a bit of focus on soulmates, but the reason they break up isn’t because she wanted it because she wanted to make the marriage work, but because he didn’t want to have to “make it work.” There are people in this universe happy without their soulmates. These people can lead happy, fulfilling lives without, and I never try to make it appear otherwise. At least, not on purpose.

Soulmates will always be amatonormative, in a way.

They’re cute, sure - but I would not want to live in a soulmate AU.

But I would definitely live in my own soulmate AU if I were to, because here the soulmates aren’t a guarantee. There’s no marker that everyone has a soulmate or anything, it’s just a roll of the cosmic dice. And people can choose how to form their relationships, whether that’s a QPR, best friends, a romantic relationship, or no contact at all. There’s still an element of choice here. There are some AUs that don’t allow you to choose not to be with your soulmates unless something happens, and I know it’s not necessarily the author’s fault about it.

I wrote that story the way I did because of a post I read saying that soulmate AUs take away free will, so I tried my best to allow free will to flourish as best as possible in this story.

Nobody is ever forced to be with their soulmate. If they want to be, they can, but in my story people find happiness where they want. And if that happiness is with their soulmate, then it is - but if it isn’t, then it isn’t. And if people are happier alone, then they can be happier alone.

I tried to make it clear (especially since that not everyone ends up with their soulmate at the end, but happy with someone different), but it doesn’t always come out that way.

And yeah, I’m just as much against amatonormativity. And soulmate AUs can’t just be...fixed by the idea of platonic soulmates, because that alienates the aplatonic people, and the other aros that don’t want QPRs and other forms of platonic bonds.

So basically the soulmate issue is tough to deal with, but I’ll continue to fight for good soulmate AUs that treat people like us right.

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you’re welcome!! I really love your fic it’s great, take your time with the update tho! rl > fic, no matter what your brain says :)

So, in honor of AO3 getting 5 million works, I’m compiling yet another reclist. Most of these will probably already have appeared on previous reclists, but I still feel inclined to compile this nonetheless.

Fanwork Challenge: Definitely BBB (Bandom Big Bang), some of my favorite works have come from the year 2009 if you’re looking for a specific one.

Comment I’ve left: I once left a comment on Pas de Trois by eledhwenin 

Fanfic over 50k: There are so many. I would have to say either In Our Bedroom, After the War by insunshine and sinuous_curve (Panic GSF) or Back to the Place by behindthec (Ryden). For reference, both stories are hosted on LJ.

Meta work: I once read this really great meta on AO3 but I don’t know where I’d find it again.

Trope Fanwork: the trope here is kid!fic, and this work (Brencer) does it very well.

(Sorry about misleading you, but I don’t actually have any authors with only one posted fanwork total.)

Fanwork from smaller fandom: Paramore is one of the smaller bands for this side of bandom, and most people just include Hayley when they write Paramore. Anyways, I’m going to recommend the Perpendicular series (Zac/Taylor) [ORPHANED].

Canon-Divergence: I would have to say that this fic (Brencer) counts as canon-divergence, seeing as most things are the same except there are a couple genderswapped characters.

Character Study: This one’s (Brencer) pretty good, but I also have to suggest this (Pete/Ashlee). It’s a story about a trans Pete figuring out her identity and navigating the celebrity life with both her mental health issues and her relationship problems. While it doesn’t exactly fit into the category, I think it’s enough. (second work hosted on Dreamwidth)

Favorite: Probably Perfect Symmetry by zarah5. (Panic GSF)

Crossover: Genetic Profile by ArsenicJade (Ryan/Brendon/Spencer S., Reid/Jon) Criminal Minds/Bandom. Excellent fic, and the issue of the two Spencers is handled exceptionally.

Fanwork with a color: Have this fic that vaguely resembles a drug trip. (Kidding, nobody should be doing any illegal substances.)

A WIP: dreaming of starting fires by @supersfade (Peterick) has ALL of the amazing symbolism (and we seem to be hiding on side accs for the same reasons lmao)

Sad work: Idk whether this is supposed to be a cheer-up work or a work that’s supposed to make you sadder, but I’m going with a cheer-up work, and that would have to be this. (Rycer)

Favorite additional tags: Some of my favorites are on this fic (Ryan/Brendon/Spencer), which is overall hilarious, so I’m linking the fic instead of the tags.

Happy work: A work that always makes me happy is this (Ryan/Brendon/Spencer), and it’s definitely great for a good mood.

Fanvid: A trailer for Back to the Place exists. It’s great, but also old, considering that the fic was written in 2009.

“Classic” work: The Heart Rate of a Mouse. A work that’s known by most people that have ever done Panic fic, and it’s considered a classic for a reason.

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So, in honor of AO3 getting 5 million works, I’m compiling yet another reclist. Most of these will probably already have appeared on previous reclists, but I still feel inclined to compile this nonetheless.

Fanwork Challenge: Definitely BBB (Bandom Big Bang), some of my favorite works have come from the year 2009 if you’re looking for a specific one.

Comment I’ve left: I once left a comment on Pas de Trois by eledhwenin 

Fanfic over 50k: There are so many. I would have to say either In Our Bedroom, After the War by insunshine and sinuous_curve (Panic GSF) or Back to the Place by behindthec (Ryden). For reference, both stories are hosted on LJ.

Meta work: I once read this really great meta on AO3 but I don’t know where I’d find it again.

Trope Fanwork: the trope here is kid!fic, and this work (Brencer) does it very well.

(Sorry about misleading you, but I don’t actually have any authors with only one posted fanwork total.)

Fanwork from smaller fandom: Paramore is one of the smaller bands for this side of bandom, and most people just include Hayley when they write Paramore. Anyways, I’m going to recommend the Perpendicular series (Zac/Taylor) [ORPHANED].

Canon-Divergence: I would have to say that this fic (Brencer) counts as canon-divergence, seeing as most things are the same except there are a couple genderswapped characters.

Character Study: This one’s (Brencer) pretty good, but I also have to suggest this (Pete/Ashlee). It’s a story about a trans Pete figuring out her identity and navigating the celebrity life with both her mental health issues and her relationship problems. While it doesn’t exactly fit into the category, I think it’s enough. (second work hosted on Dreamwidth)

Favorite: Probably Perfect Symmetry by zarah5. (Panic GSF)

Crossover: Genetic Profile by ArsenicJade (Ryan/Brendon/Spencer S., Reid/Jon) Criminal Minds/Bandom. Excellent fic, and the issue of the two Spencers is handled exceptionally.

Fanwork with a color: Have this fic that vaguely resembles a drug trip. (Kidding, nobody should be doing any illegal substances.)

A WIP: dreaming of starting fires by @supersfade (Peterick) has ALL of the amazing symbolism (and we seem to be hiding on side accs for the same reasons lmao)

Sad work: Idk whether this is supposed to be a cheer-up work or a work that’s supposed to make you sadder, but I’m going with a cheer-up work, and that would have to be this. (Rycer)

Favorite additional tags: Some of my favorites are on this fic (Ryan/Brendon/Spencer), which is overall hilarious, so I’m linking the fic instead of the tags.

Happy work: A work that always makes me happy is this (Ryan/Brendon/Spencer), and it’s definitely great for a good mood.

Fanvid: A trailer for Back to the Place exists. It’s great, but also old, considering that the fic was written in 2009.

“Classic” work: The Heart Rate of a Mouse. A work that’s known by most people that have ever done Panic fic, and it’s considered a classic for a reason.

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snippet

the starshine appeal of the city

notes: the premise of this fic is basically a canon-divergence version of paramore’s history where hayley makes it as a soloist w/o the rest of the band, but they’re still friends. and it’s also aged down a decade. there’s a lot more to it, but this should be enough context to understand this snippet. and also hayley is aro/ace, bc I’m nothing if not self-indulgent.

She spends more time outside, going to the kids park to swing on the swings, because she is a self indulgent 17 year old. Besides, this is the last summer she'll get. She swings back and forth, closing her eyes and imagining what it would be like to fly, to swing up in the air and fall only when she wanted.

She wouldn't mind the dying part, but she would rather not. So she opens her eyes to the blinding sunlight and stops putting more force on the swing, letting its arc decrease before letting go and landing on the wood chips with a bit of a jolt.

“Hey,” someone says. After a bit of processing, she realizes it's Josh as he taps her shoulder. “I asked your parents where you were, they said you'd probably be here.”

“Yeah, well, getting the last of the throwback in before next year.”

He shrugs. “I never said it was a bad thing.” His gaze scrutinizes her. It's a little uncomfortable, but she's never been the type to back out.

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the only proof that i need is you

Jenshler, one-shot, >1k

Read on AO3 

It’s really hard I can’t cry in your arms cause you’re not here It’s not your fault and if it was I wouldn’t care My heart is bigger than the distance in between us I know it cause I feel it beating So strong it’ll knock you down - Paramore, “Proof”

Notes: Valentine’s Day drabble. J/J/T is my favorite ship in the top fandom. Break from the drama of this fic I’m working on .I listened to “Proof” by Paramore on repeat while listening to this and got some inspiration from that. Forgot to crosspost, sorry.

It’s hard, being the husband/boyfriend of a very successful band. Tour wears on all of them, but it’s hardest for Jenna, who’s separated from her significant others for a long time during the year, rarely getting to see them.

Calling only breaches the distance so much, but there are a lot of texts.

You know. Because they’re in love with each other, and nothing else could be more than that.

Tyler tells Jenna that he loves both of them over FaceTime, when they’re just casually chatting and Josh is off somewhere else and he has time to call.

It’s not just platonic, either, and it took a long time for Jenna to get over that (and some Google searches about “what if your husband loves someone else and you,” and scrolling through a few pages of results before finding polyamory, and thinking, ‘Huh.’)

She texts him the article on polyamory that she’s found, along with a couple others from a separates search on polyamory.

He texts her back with a: what are you trying to say?

She responds with a: do you know what you want?

It’s not that big of a quarrel, really.

A couple hours later with an: I don’t really think you understand.

And she won’t give him any ground, so: I’m trying my best to. This *is* my way of understanding, but I can’t say anything definitively without communication

He can be just as stubborn as she is, though. Are you really okay with this? Because I’m not. I told you because I wanted to get over it not because I actually want it. Everything that we’ve been taught goes against this idea of a relationship between multiple people

The concept’s been around for a while, she shoots back with. I’m not saying that we necessarily have to do anything about it, but think about it. Think about it, and then we can talk.

It takes a while for Tyler to “think about it” after Jenna left that comment.

He starts the conversation, this time: The only people I want are you and him. No one else. It’s not like I want to *cheat* on you. It’s not exactly like what they’re writing about.

That’s okay. There’s no one definition. It’s flexible, and that’s perfectly fine. Do you want to go for it?

I don’t know. There are a lot of things I’m mentally thinking about, a lot of guilt. It feels like I’m cheating on you, but I can’t help what I feel and I can’t do anything about it.

I think that’s the point - that feelings are natural and you can’t do anything about it.

I might. I don’t know.

It’s Tyler and Josh, and it’s Tyler and Jenna. It’s not all three of them, and that’s fine. She’s a little jealous of Tyler, but she’s unwilling to search for the root of that jealousy.

Only a few people know about the three of them. Not even the family knows, because none of them are sure that they’ll react positively. They’re still Christian, they still believe in God. Not everything said in the Bible is necessarily right, and it has a lot of outdated beliefs, but they still believe that God exists, that God will help them.

There’s no three of them, and maybe that’s what Jenna wants, but she’s afraid of what people’d say if they knew, calling her a slut.

She wishes that it was all three of them.

She tries to join in on more Tyler-and-Josh time, by joining their cuddle piles and it’s...easy, far too easy.

It feels too right for her to feel guilty about it.

She’s glad that it’s all three of them.

It’s hard to manage a relationship with just two people, but it’s worth all the problems in the end, because they love each other.

And as long as they have each other, they can get through life.

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some misc recs

Some more things I found post-reclists.

Format: (*)Title by Author [w/ link] | Rating | Word Count | Pairing | Summary | Thoughts

Asterisk denotes fic hosted on LiveJournal.

Rating is denoted using AO3 terms. I did not include my thoughts in this one bc it takes a really long time to do that stuff.

*why don’t we do it in the road by stephanometra & untappedbeauty | E | around 4300 | Ryan/Jon | "I'm not sure you have the discipline to keep your eyes on the road. What do you think?" | Relatively recent read. 

*Like the Tide by ArsenicJade & untappedbeauty | E | around 124k | Ryan/Spencer, Ryan and Spencer meet as children in the foster care system. Despite instances of separation, somehow they always seem to find their way back to each other. | This fic was very heartwarming, despite everything that Ryan goes through.

*Give Me Just Enough by untappedbeauty | E | 23535 | Ryan/Jon | You know how sometimes you don't mean to fixate on something, but then you just kind of do? It's like, you've never heard the word "scurrilous" before, but then one day you hear it and it starts popping up everywhere. That's the way it is with Ryan's cock. Well, it's not popping up everywhere, obviously, but Jon just keeps noticing it. He's not trying to or anything; it's just...sort of huge. And Jon had known that, intellectually, but now he's thinking about it all the time. Will Ryan notice Jon's attention? If so, will he be weirded out? Or maybe, possibly, will he be interested? Will his giant cock go into hiding to escape all the scrutiny? (SPOILER: The answers are yes, no, yes, and LOL NO.) | I went into their profile to look at all the fic they wrote (I know, I know) and this was def a standout.

*may be naked now by disarm_d and untappedbeauty | E | around 25k | Brendon/Spencer | One day, Spencer finds some weird flowers outside the venue, and leans over to smell one. | Sometimes I like nice fluffy heartwarming fics, and sometimes I’m just like,,, give me all the angst. This fic is not about the sex pollen, for me. It’s about the angst that comes afterwards, and the beauty of forgiveness.

*Like a Magic 8 Ball, But You Can Only Ask One Question by untappedbeauty | T | unknown | Brendon/Ryan w/ implied Jon/Spencer | no summary | I first read this a really long time ago. Crack. Really funny.

Your Wish Is Granted by ignipes | T | 7012 | GSF | "Spencer," Brendon said slowly, looking at each of them in turn, "what exactly did you wish for?" | GSF that isn’t tagged in anything related is hard to dig up, but I found this one. It’s very good.

The Smile of the Crowd (The Roar of the Victor) by rossetti & sloganeer | M | 7615, GSF, China looked big from the plane, but here on the ground, it seems doable. | Olympics!AU.

Sometimes You’re Already There by skoosiepants | T | 5658 | Jon/Spencer, Spencer has always been very practical | The problem is, there’s his real life, and then there’s Ryan. | I loved this so much.

Posing in a Ballroom by arctic_grey | E | 138434 | endgame Ryan/Brendon and Jon/Spencer | They have it all: money, fame and a strong foothold in the New York scene of the young and the beautiful. But past the exterior, they are struggling to survive and keep their secrets to themselves as lines between lovers, friends and enemies begin to blur together. | Mmm. You know what really made this for me? The Brendon/Spencer.

Ordinary Boys by impasto | E | 16690 | Ryan/Brendon | Ryan isn't a girl, even when he is. | I loved this.

Ménage à trois by AirgiodSLV | E | 2961 | Ryan/Brendon/Spencer (?) |  Brendon may have a legitimate reason to be angry, but this is not Spencer’s fucking fault. If anything, Ryan should be the one against the wall right now. | I label the pairing with a question mark because I don’t know what it’s supposed to be.

More Than Curiosity by wordsaremyfaith | E | 1827 | Ryan/Spencer | Ryan takes a deep breath and plunges ahead. "I think about that day all the time," he confesses. Spencer doesn’t have to ask What day? Because he knows, he was there. Besides, it’s the only thing they don’t talk about."I do too," he says quietly.

Parallax by ignipes | M | 43374 | Ryan/Spencer, Jon/Brendon | The only thing Jon wanted was a way off this station. | I only read the first installment and the fan-written prequel (which is the main reason I’m not reccing it as a series but as the work), but I love it nonetheless. Jon/Brendon is not my cup of tea, really, but I’m okay with it here.

the street where we began by liketheroad | Unrated | 6002 | GSF | fluffy domestic AU | liketheroad writes all the best GSF fics. No, really.

green, green times by missi and thegirlthatisclumsy | M | 19259 | Ryan/Brendon/Spencer (and various side pairings) | sometimes when Dazed and Confused and Empire Records and Wayne's World love each other very, very much and decide to make a baby - Joe Trohman ends up with a not for profit medicinal marijuana dispensary and a gay matchmaking yenta (sort of) in Brendon Urie. | Brendon is hilarious in this one.

Painted Wings and Giant Rings by nafs | T | 38356 | Ryan/Spencer (side Pete/Patrick/OFC) | Ryan has always known that someday he was going to have to let Spencer go, so that Spencer could find his chiropteric mate. As the Rock Band tour goes to hell and Panic starts falling apart, Ryan gives Spencer his space and Spencer gives Ryan his freedom. Only that's not what either of them really wants or needs. | Fantasy. A weakness of mine.

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giant panic reclist, polyamory edition (p. 2)

Poly categories are divided by which ones I recommend multiple of, and then a mix at the end of a bunch of ones I don’t have more than one rec for.

Format:

[*]Title by author [embedded w/ link] | Rating, Word count, Summary | Thoughts

Asterisk at beginning denotes fic hosted on LJ I couldn’t find crossposted on AO3.

All recs underneath the break. Ships in no particular order.

Brallencer

- Brallencer Coffee Shop AU series by frankiesin | E, [first work] Brendon Urie, a third year college student at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, works as the evening shift manager for the on-campus Starbucks. He starts an acquaintances with benefits relationship with one of his customers (Dallon Weekes) and befriends another (Spencer Smith). During this, he finds out that Dallon and Spencer are dating, and assumes that Dallon is cheating on Spencer, only to learn that the two are looking for a third in their open relationship. | Vague warning, majority of this ship’s recs are by this author.

- Say It With Neon series by frankiesin | M, 334413, [first work] Instead of spending his summer hanging around Summerlin, sixteen year old Spencer Smith and his best friend Ryan Ross take a roadtrip to Chicago to move in with Ryan's boyfriend. That she met online, and is in college already.Look, at least he left a note for his mom before he left.Featuring: emotionally mature trans boy Spencer, angsty teen trans girl Ryan, a pair of runaway gay Mormons, an elusive cat lover named Jon, and an unhealthy amount of gas station food. | Confession: I only read Mile Marker 17 and WSYICT, and started reading the third work before giving up because it just isn’t my cup of tea. However, I can at least say that the two I’ve read were amazing.

- A Guide on How not to Come Out to the Entire World by frankiesin | M, 33172, After a picture of him kissing fellow teammate Dallon Weekes ends up on the internet, Olympic butterflier Spencer Smith is forcibly outed as gay to the entire world. Neither he nor Dallon were ready for their relationship or sexuality to become public discussion, and they can't just stop the Olympics to deal with their personal lives. On top of that, Brendon's still there, and he's even more attractive and naked than before, and Spencer just... does not have time for this shit. (Olympic swimmer AU) | .

Brendon/Spencer/Sarah

- Three-Part Harmony series by LittleMousling | E, 18235, Two tops, one Brendon. And a good time was had by all. | Sort of weird. They are really in love with each other, though.

- Caesura by fictionalaspect | M, 25152, Canon-based AU. On the surface, the summer of 2009 for Panic at the Disco! seems to be about getting their collective feet back underneath them as a band and showing the world a united front once more. But Spencer's relationship with Haley self-destructs even as everyone else he knows is happily settling down, and when tour ends he's already sold his condo and suddenly has nowhere to go. He moves in temporarily with Brendon and Sarah and things start to fall apart, even as it becomes obvious as to how they might be able to put themselves back together again. | Polyamory!!! Honestly, I love reading about the dynamic of a polyam relationship more than anything else.

- Between you and me by 3cheers4sweet_romance | M, 16730, “She wants to watch. Is that okay, Spence?" Spencer has a big crush on the new guy at work. The new guy at work is married. That doesn't seem to be a drawback.

Ryan/Brendon/Spencer

- No Animals Were Harmed In the Making Of This Proverb by jenish | T, 2377, No summary | .

- Not Exactly What You Had Planned [Orphaned] | G, 4583, Spencer remembered it like this: they were ten, and they were playing with an old half-deflated soccer ball, and Spencer threw it to Ryan, and Ryan didn't catch it because Ryan couldn't catch and also because Spencer threw it further than he meant to, and the ball went into the road. | Short but serious read.

- when there’s nothing left to burn by jocondite | M, 5875, The band is broken up and Ryan Ross is officially no longer Spencer's problem, but it still doesn't work out like that. | This story is...interesting. Still good, though, or it wouldn’t have gone on the reclist.

- Teenage Dream by RedOrchid | E, 15478, In which Brendon goes after what he wants, Ryan is overwhelmed, Spencer hates his life until he doesn’t, boys are stupid and there are many thousand words of porn. | The author tags Brendon as a BAMF in this fic, and tbh, I’m inclined to agree.

- An Equiatic Bind (Disney for Dummies in Love Remix) by sabriel475 | E, 6565, Time's always been a bit wonky for Spencer, especially in relation to Ryan. It starts and stops in fits and speeds up warping his perspective until he's not sure how much time he has left before Ryan's no longer his to care for, especially when Brendon shows up and has all of eternity at his fingertips. | The fic that this is a remix of shows up in part 1 of this reclist. Again, vampire AUs aren’t normally my thing.

- what new mystery is this by ipreferaviators | T, 1509, "It's not like that," Ryan says finally. It's not a new thought. He says it to himself at least three times a day, sometimes more. But he's never said it loud before. It feels strange, wrong somehow, in his mouth. | Jon is sort of a mastermind.

- Ryan Ross, Poet for hire. by Pennyplainknits | G, 866, So, this started out on Twitter when merlins_unicorn posted something about having Ryan as a poet for hire, and asking why didn't the fic exist. lalejandra said it probably did in my head. I...may be predictable? Anyway I notficced it for lalejandra on twitter, and I suppose I should try to preserve it here? So have some Ryan/Spencer/Brendon notfic! | Ryan as a writer for commission author is a blessed concept.

- Quit Playing Games With My Heart by miss_begonia | M, 8935, Spencer watches Brendon’s shoulders heave and his hand curl in the bed sheets, confusion infusing his dark brown eyes. Spencer thinks about how this is the one thing he’s always hated about Ryan: that no matter what, no matter what Spencer does, Ryan will always be older, always be smarter, always be the one who gets there first. “You can watch,” Ryan murmurs. | This fic has an ambiguous ending (and I can’t spell that word, I had to rely on my computer’s spellcheck). But that works for this fic.

- Pas de Trois by eledhwenlin | E, 65041, Regencyish AU in which arranged marriages work in threesomes. "We're very pleased that George Ross has accepted you as betrothed to his only son." When Lord and Lady Urie inform their youngest son Brendon that they have found a match for him, Brendon doesn't know yet that his life will turn out much differently than he expected. | I actually left a comment on this one.

- But We Still Yearn For It by sophia_sol | T, 3598, The one where they're folk musicians. | I really enjoy this AU.

- Eyes Wide Open by panicparade | G, 671, How many times in the past few months has he turned down girls and guys because their eyes weren’t the right kind of blue or their hair wasn’t brown enough? | This work is not about its summary.

- Like a California King series by fictionalaspect | E, 48673, First time, wasn't it," Ryan says, and Brendon would think Ryan was mocking him if he didn't look so serious. "Little Mormon boy sees the big, bad homosexual sin...?" | The polyamory isn’t endgame, so theoretically I could include it under brencer, but I didn’t, and I stand by my ruling that it belongs here rather than there.

- Flying Is The Most Fun A Cheerleader Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off (But Threesomes Are Best When She’s Naked) by reena_jenkins and growlery | M, 5964, I know nothing about cheerleading that I didn't learn from Bring It On, Hellcats, and watching ESPN when Middlest Sis makes me, but FLIPS! and KICKS! and PEPPY HAIR! and BITCHY SNARKY GENDERSWAP AWESOMESAUCE! | Genderswap fics are normally just as good as regular ones. I would have abbreviated the title, because I didn’t want to type it out, but I was thinking, where would I leave off?

- I try to focus on your eyes by pr_scatterbrain | M, 29904, An au where Spencer can't fire Brent so he doesn't. Instead Ryan fucks Brendon and Spencer sleeps next to him and Brent is a ghost. Somehow running away starts to make sense so when the tour winds down Spencer takes off and when he stops running he finds himself with Albert Hammond Jr., playing music, sleeping and talking to no-one but Agyness Deyn. | Actually, there is another Spencer runs away fic on my reclist.

- The Dark Ocean Bottom + The Fast Sinking Anchor by Pennyplainknits | E, 48318 ,Stressed and ansty after the end of the tour, Brendon escapes to London, and finds more than he bargains for. Ryan leans his elbow on the table, puts his chin in his hand. "So, why are you here?" "I," Brendon pauses... "I just couldn't be there. I needed to be somewhere else." "Yeah," Ryan finally takes a sip of his tea. "Yeah, I know how that feels." | First is just Ryan and Brendon, but the sequel is all three of them.

- if i survive (i’ll dive back in) series by colllapsingstar [me!] | M, 8869, Soulmate AU where you can read the mind of your soulmate. They’ve lost each other. But one person finding their soulmate might just reunite them, too. | I’m reccing my own fic. I have to get self-promo in somehow. I’m sort of a loser, but at least I write fic, too.

Panic! GSF

Otherwise known as: Ryan/Brendon/Spencer/Jon.

Favorite poly ship for me. I can’t quite explain why, but it just...seems to fit.

- Crush (With Eyeliner) by addictedkitten | E, 5533, Yeah, honestly, Jon Walker totally is that kind of guy. He just doesn't know it yet. | .

- But Not the Song by ignipes and emilyray [according to the LJ version, at least] | E, 192263, The epic bandom slavefic. Running and shooting and angsting and kissing and more angsting and a bunch of kids named Alex. | There’s a lot that goes on in this one, and they don’t even technically all get together.

- The Courtship of Jon Walker by Scribewraith | E, 26466, It's Jon's birthday and he gets the best present of all: Spencer. Unbeknownst to him Spencer also comes with two husbands and three kids. | The exploration of polyamory is really a major theme in this fic.

- Down the Rabbit Hole by Marks | E, 20870, Ryan turns down something he wants and ends up in a world where Jon was never hired, Brent was never fired, and Panic! broke up. Now it's up to Ryan to fix things, even if he's not totally sure what he wants. | .

- jack-in-the-box by ignipes | T, 1164, In which there is cuddling and not a whole lot more. | Fluffy.

- That’s What He Said by addictedkitten | E, 23464, Truckstops and Statelines and boyfriends, etc. | .

- Your Axis On A Tilt by jenish | T, 31886, No summary | If any story were to have the “Crack Treated Seriously” tag, it would be this one.

- Burn Up in Love Love Love by dsuidis | E, 12916, Miss you miss you miss you. | Pining.

- Spyro! (Or, The One Where Spencer Smith is a Small Purple Dragon) by Solarcat | T, 8909, In which Spencer Smith is a small, purple dragon, Ryan Ross makes magical scarves, Brendon Urie writes songs about lonely manticores, and Jon Walker is ~magic~! Featuring appearances by Pete Wentz and Patrick Stump. [A Fantasy AU] | No, none of these animal transformation fics include bestiality. That’s messed up.

- From Countess to Cabin Boy by formerlydf | E, 35405, To be fair, Brendon never truly intends to join the crew of a pirate ship. It just sort of... happens. | This is the one pirate AU fic I’ve read.

- Perfect Symmetry by zarah5 | E, 46774, >> “Actually, yeah,” Brendon says. “That’s kind of what I wanted to talk to you about. I’m. Thinking of doing a solo album.” Or: The one in which they have to relearn each other. (AU-ish, set some time after an imaginary 3rd Panic album.) | Man. I don’t know where to start with this one.

- All In by fictionalaspect | E, 8173, "Last person still in wins the pot," Jon says. He finishes with a flourish, folding up his two pieces of paper and dropping them on top of the folded twenty at the bottom of their empty weed jar .Brendon pushes his hair out of his eyes, bites his lip, and stares at his two scraps of paper. He writes the first two things that come to mind. | Cabin fic. And kink.

- winter’s passing by words_unravel | M, 11107, No summary | A fic based around a cabin, but not the cabin.

- a sense of touch by liketheroad | Unrated, 16247, from the very beginning, slowly at first but always steadily growing towards more, they touched. So much and eventually so without thought that they never had to wonder why it felt wrong when they didn’t, because that itself happened so infrequently. | Absolutely love.

- No one belongs here more than you by liketheroad | Unrated, 12988, Wherein Ryan writes a concept album, expresses his pain through his fashion choices and almost Ryan's his way out of the only place he belongs. | An interesting take on what the cabin album could’ve been.

- every turn a surprise by mixtapestar | E, 56647, When Brendon is 10 years old, weird things start happening. He quickly discovers his ability to read minds, and then he spends several years at the Academy, learning how to control it. After he is forced to run away to avoid being drafted for his ability, he gets hired onto a spaceship, where he meets Spencer, Ryan, and Jon. Things just get crazier from there, especially when he starts to fall in love with more than one of his coworkers. | Telepathy is my dream superpower.

- Sing Until Your Lungs Give Out by personalized_radio | E, 31738, Pete and Patrick pick up a stray in Vegas, or the one where Brendon gets kicked out and is found by a sketchy tattooed guy in the middle of the night in Vegas and his world gets turned upside down. | Fall Out Boy adopt Brendon!

- One More Than Three by cynthia_arrow | E, 9184, "I think I want to have sex with Ryan Ross," Jon says as he spills across the threshold. To his credit, Gabe doesn't laugh, doesn't even so much as smirk. | Jon and Ryan are the two most likely to deny the relationship.

- Tripping into a Rhythm by magdalyna | T, 3605, Telepathy isn't all it's cracked up be, Spencer decides. | Plot twist at the end, sort of.

- Let Each Who Is Worthy by mokuyoubi | E, 86663, “It was probably just some shitty band, you know? I mean, how many high school bands ever go anywhere, what are the odds? But I still can’t help wondering how things might have been different, if I’d joined them. Like. That was a bad time for me, and what if I had found a place where I fit in? Where would I be now?" Brendon has his religious crisis but never meets Panic! and goes away on his mission after high school. | It’s interesting how there are so many fics about it being destiny that Panic! gets together, but irl, it didn’t pan out.

- (I’ll Be) The Only Thing Between You and the Stars At Night by mokuyoubi | E, 67918, Pete likes to be the Admiral of the Fleet in his free time, the Cobra is after The Academy, the Helena is after the Cobra, and Brendon gets caught in the middle, leaving it up to Spencer, Jon and Ryan to come to his rescue. Oh yeah. Star Trek AU. | You don’t need knowledge of Star Trek for this one, because I didn’t going into reading this fic.

- The Quickest Way to Ruin a Friendship by Arsenic | E, 40701, The members of Panic! really should talk to each other more. (A straightforward GSF. Promise.) | More on-tour fic.

- Esoteric Contagion by teacuptaako | T, 18909, He wakes up with a note stuck to his forehead that reads, “You traded your memory in a spell. It was worth it.” The note is signed George Ross. He wonders if that’s his name. In which things are lost and gained and remembered and forgotten, in that order. | Man. This sort of hurts a lot, really.

- Time Travel (Then We’ll Talk) [Orphaned] | G, 1811, Brendon Urie meets some unexpected people. | .

- Lose the Battle (Win the War) [Orphaned] | E, 12027, Ryan Ross discovers fandom. Then he goes a little bit crazy. | I don’t read/see many fanfiction-inception fics. This is one of the best, though.

- Wings Wouldn’t Help You by Cottonstones | T, 7840, It starts with solid, ivory bone. | Ambiguous endings are sometimes the best, especially in this case.

- *the present and the distance by behindthec | E, around 153k, There is no way to summarize this that doesn't sound ridiculous, so I leave you with my original cheesy!blurb(tm): There are 17,508 islands in Indonesia, about 6,000 of which are inhabited. On August 31, 2008, returning from an Australian tour in the middle of the year's most violent storm to date, a plane carrying Panic at the Disco loses power, veers off course, and crashes into one of the remaining 11,508 islands. This is their story. | Angsty, but really, really great.

- *In Our Bedroom, After the War by sinuous_curve and insunshine | E, around 87k, no summary | This is...sort of the fic that I aspired for shattered dreams (dreaming on anyways) to be similar to in terms of tone. I didn’t know it when I was writing - I knew I wanted it to have this sort of aura, but it wasn’t until I recently reread this that I realized that this was that fic.

- *(It’s Not So Much the Words You Say) It’s How You Use Your Lips by foxxcub | E, around 8k, "You bought a love potion." Brendon's voice piped up out of nowhere, and Spencer would've rolled his eyes had he not been so unbelievably turned on. | .

- *We Started From by untappedbeauty | E, around 20k, no summary | .

- *Take My Heart, I Don’t Want It Back by dancingxcabaret | M, unknown, He can’t remember a specific moment in time when it happened, can’t put his finger on the trigger because this definitely isn’t a ‘hey, I’m in love with Spencer,’ kind of situation. It’s just this slow and steady pull of soft hips and sarcastic bitch at the strings of Jon’s heart. | Love.

- *There’s No ‘I’ in Ryan Ross by jzbell | E, unknown, Jon Walker attempts the impossible: to make the gayest band on the planet even gayer. | I almost forgot to put a link, which would have been a travesty.

Other

All the polyships with only one fic I have to rec.

Format: Title by author | Ship | Rating, Word count, Summary | My thoughts

- Revolution In My Bedroom by eledhwenlin | Brendon/Shane/Spencer | E, 26032, Spencer loves Brendon. Brendon loves Spencer and Shane. This is slightly confusing for Spencer. | Exploration of polyamory!

- i wanna live a life from a new perspective by thescrewtapedemos | Brendon/Sarah/Spencer/Dallon | E, 10311, Dallon is totally cool with his place in life. He’s got a sick band that plays music that the kids love and he’s making some pretty serious money from it, especially for being a music job. He’s got a sweet little apartment and more instruments than he knows what to do with. He's visited more foreign places than he'd even really considered existed and met people more famous than him by an embarrassing margin. And he has sex on a regular basis with his drummer, his lead singer, and his lead singer’s incredibly gorgeous wife. He plucks morosely at the strings of his guitar. He’s in a Smiths sort of mood. Morrissey, he thinks, would probably handle the whole situation about as badly as he is. Maybe even worse. Good old Morrissey. | Angst?

[colllapsingstarr-blog]

giant panic reclist (organized by ship)

So, I organized everything by ship because you never know what people are into, and I read pretty much anything and everything I can get my hands on that’s long. This is a fanfiction reclist for Panic! at the Disco fics only. Will I ever address other bands? Perhaps. Everything’s below the break.

Note: I have not read every Panic! fic in existence. Cut me some slack here if your absolute favorite isn’t on this list, and if it’s NOT please send it to me, I’d love to read it!

I’ll be including poly ships in the next list, because this list is long enough as it is. If I were to add poly ships, we’d be here all day.

Let’s start with the popular ones, shall we?

Format: Title by Author (click for story) | Rating, Word count, Author’s summary | Personal thoughts

If a link is broken/incorrect, please let me know. That stuff’s embarrassing.

Fics may or may not require an AO3 login (as I have an account, so I don’t know which are locked and which aren’t). Any fics hosted on LiveJournal (noted with a * at the start of the title) do not require a login, as far as I’m aware, because I don’t have a LiveJournal.

Ryden

- Sense of Touch by pressdbtwnpages | G, 5434, Brendon and Ryan turn into otters, but that's just the beginning of the problem. | It’s been a while since I’ve read this story (I did, once upon a time.) I don’t remember much, but this is pretty much absolutely hilarious.

- Just One of the Girls by skoosiepants | T, 20830, "Spence, I'm. Look, I'm going to prove this girl-thing to you, okay? I'm going to," he held up his hands, "this is so brilliant, I'm going to become a girl." | I actually really enjoyed this fic. It was interesting to see all the different interactions, and the way that it actually sort of all comes together in the end.

- for other meanings of tsunami by jocondite | T, 36352, On the Nothing Rhymes With Circus tour, Brendon comes up with a brilliant, brilliant plan to get regular orgasms without resorting to the palpitating groupies Zack disapproves of. Sure, he's never thought of himself as gay, but blowjobs know no gender, and if Ryan's willing, why the hell not? The path to true Nirvana is anything but smooth, though, and a lot of bad sex later, Brendon figures a few things out. | This speaks for itself, I’m pretty sure. This is a reclist. I’m soft for long fics.

- You Will Know The Difference When I Touch You by two_waymirror | E, 5348, It wasn’t a gay thing at first. Well, it was possible that Brendon had a tiny little crush on Ryan, but it was a buried thing in the back of his still-half-Mormon brain, emerging very slowly. | Not as long as most of my favorites, but still well-written.

- A Light On a Hill by rubblerousing | T, 17918, My greatest flaw is that I keep a running list of eight separate sentences that I, at one point in my life, have spoken aloud and which could have, maybe, possibly, embodied within them the reason Ryan Ross has decided to hate me. Some people’s greatest flaws are their overly prominent features. Some people would tell me my greatest flaw should be my overly prominent features. My friends would say my greatest flaw is that I am too outspoken; people who are under the delusion they are my friends but in actuality are not would say my greatest flaw is that I am too reserved. Maybe it’s the other way around. If I were a better person and could admit I probably very dearly ought to be under the watchful eye of a psychiatrist, because I have some kind of obsession with thinking about things too much, and with keeping lists, then my psychiatrist would say my greatest flaws are cowardice, being unable to move on from the past, an addiction to adulation, keeping lists, and perhaps Ryan Ross, if I ever got around to mentioning him. | I’m not a big fan of first person POV fics in general, no matter if it’s in irl books or in fanfiction, but here it just...works? I don’t know. Read it for yourself.

- Anyone Else But You by zarah5 | M, 67238, College AU. Panic never formed at high school. Instead, they meet at college, and in between striking up a friendship with his working colleague Spencer and trying to ensure that his roommate Jon doesn’t get sick of him, in between forming a band and writing songs, Brendon would really appreciate it if his bandmate (and Spencer’s best friend) Ryan Ross didn’t turn out to be Brendon’s TA. Especially considering their fling just before the start of the term. | You may or may not have read this already. This fic is worth rereading, though.

- Leaving Without Moving by northern | E, 29874, "I'm not trying to embarrass you or anything here. But seriously, I'm just trying to make things clear - what you want is to be my own personal little toy, is that it? You want to be my pet in the... pet sense?" “Not if you're not interested," Ryan gritted out, hot with shame. "You can stop making fun of me now. That was fucking hard to say." He rested his head on his arms, feeling weak and slightly nauseated with how his stomach was churning. | Not a fan of vampire AUs, ordinarily. I’m okay with blood, but for some reason vampire AUs aren’t my thing. However, I was willing to make an exception for this fic and I’m glad I did, because even though it isn’t my normal pick of AU, it’s really well-written. 

- A tendency to wear hearts on sleeves by kyasuriin | G, 1758, A guitar is perhaps not something that friends, even bandmates, get for each other. Brendon just hopes Ryan won't notice the way his heart is practically falling off his sleeve. | Um. Don’t have much to say on this one?

- The Heart Rate of a Mouse by arctic_grey | Not including stats | Well-known. Don’t need to say anything. Loved this fic.

- Oh Doctor Doctor by softlyforgotten | E, 17269, It was just that on his first day in the oncology department of the hospital six years ago, he'd been introduced to Dr Ryan Ross, Head Surgeon, and fallen stupidly and irrevocably in love with him, and that, apparently, was that. (A hospital AU.) | The title reminds me of Razia’s Shadow, so when I saw this it was an instant click. Love how this fic isn’t just about the relationship (despite the implications of the summary); there’s more to it.

- *Back To The Place by behindthec | E, around 93000, Once upon a time, Panic went to a cabin in the mountains to write an album they never made. One night there, something happened that Ryan tried to forget. Two years later, he still hasn't. | I have. No words for this fic. It is just that good. I know that the primary site for fanfiction is AO3, and a lot of fics are cross-posted (I tried to find what I could on AO3, because on some I have the LJ version bookmarked), but consider trying out a different format for reading. It’s a little annoying, but this fic makes it so worth it.

- *Ryan Ross: Wedding Planner (What We Do Is Love) by adellyna | M, Unknown, Ryan plans weddings! Just not gay weddings. Ok, maybe just this once. | Hilarious one-shot. Like. This is serious fic, but also very, very funny.

- *just this once, be my savior by sinuous_curve and insunshine | E, around 32k, In which Ryan has a daughter, Brendon has a nephew and somehow, they manage to fall in love. | Kid!fic.

Brallon

Doing this reclist made me realize exactly how few fics I read with just this pairing. I normally read the two of them with someone else in a poly ‘ship, but not the two of them by themselves? (send me some. please)

(I actually have read one I liked, but I’m too lazy to dig it up. The title was something in French, I think.)

Brencer

This pairing is a hard preference over most other pairings. I just. Like it a lot.

There are probably more fics on this list than there are in any other ship I include on this list.

- There Should Be A Name For Something Like This by skoosiepants | T, 3777, It was the best idea Brendon had ever had, ever. | Sometimes I read things because they’re long and have a good summary, and other times I just want a laugh. This is one of those fics.

- Supersaturation by skoosiepants | T, 15017, Brendon's a little in love with Lieutenant Spencer Smith. And not, like, fifteen-year-old girl love, either, but the kind of love where his chest hurts and he wants to be around him constantly and he wants into his pants, and okay. It pretty much sounds like fifteen-year-old girl love, but it's not, no matter what Ryan says. Spencer is just. Pretty. And competent and, okay, the sidearm is totally sexy. He didn't think he'd ever go for that, but the handling of it, his hands, really, and the thigh holster? Makes Brendon want to lick him. A lot. | Not linking the whole series because I’ve only read the first two. Crossover with Stargate Atlantis, but I have absolutely no knowledge of that fandom, and I was perfectly fine.

- Certain Coasts Set Apart by skoosiepants | T, 15327, It was easier to get lost on the Virginian coast than Spencer thought it would be. | This is one of two Spencer-ends-up-isolated-from-Panic!fics that I love. Both of their plots are actually caused by similar catalysts, surprisingly.

- Anywhere You Let It Go by skoosiepants | T, 21211, "Okay, this is what I've figured out so far. I'm stuck in some sort of hell that looks vaguely like a Sandra Bullock movie." | Brencer is sort of a side pairing, but I’m still considering it because it drives the plot and isn’t just an aside for the main character (Patrick).

- the Sweater Vests series by disarm_d | E, 15709, (first work summary) Spencer can't believe himself for trying something like this. He can't believe that he'd risk his friendship with Brendon, his friendships with everyone else if Brendon decided to tell, his place in the school if Brendon caused enough fuss. Except that when Brendon's tongue brushes over his lower lip, it's easier to understand why. | British boarding school AU! Angst! Hurty, but in the good way.

- Towns Flying By by jocondite | T, 3976, Brendon is very much in love with the van. He draws a ragged row of little black hearts on the back door, just above where some girl in some town had scrawled her phone number. He loves it right up until the heat cuts out somewhere in the middle of Colorado that first November. (Cuddling for warmth). | Cute fluff.

- The Way It Is Now by skoosiepants | T, 5790, He ponders on how exactly to phrase his question. Finally, he sends, is spencer dying andor eating babies | This author is on this reclist a lot? Maybe, but they write excellent fic.

- The Magic Friend Band by skoosiepants | T, 9408, The totally true story of how Spencer Smith joined Patrick & Brendon's Magic Friend Band. | This author actually writes really funny stories. They’re enjoyable, but also have an underlying thread of seriousness.

- Once Upon a Time’s Only Fiction When Tomorrow Becomes Today by rossetti | E, 13344, The year Virginia Dale Wentz turns five her parents die in an accident aboard a chartered day-boat to Catalina. | Under Brencer because that’s endgame. Ryan/Spencer is a thing but only as friends with benefits. Kid!fic. Always adorable.

- In the Sirocco by sevenfists | M, 12241, A story about hypnosis, God, marijuana, and true love. | There are two hypnotism stories on this list. This is the more angsty one.

- Panic! at the Barn-Raising series by vixalicious | T, 20895, (first work) Um. They're Amish. | Sort of ridiculous but really also quite good.

- Tell me to stop by AirgiodSLV | E, 29335, “You have no idea what you’re doing, okay?” Ryan says in exasperation, blowing out a huffy breath. “I’m just saying. I think…I might know a guy.” | Warning: kink fic. I might be ace and don’t get off on it, but I can still appreciate it for what it is.

- But you can’t be missed by elenor_lavish | E, 20664, "No, I mean. It's like you haven't aged a single day." Ryan steals another glance, and Brendon looks uncomfortably out the window. The back streets of Vegas look a lot like he remembers them. The cars in the driveways aren't really different, people are still dressed the same, dragging their trash to the sidewalk in their pajamas. No one's in some sort of space-age suit or wearing a video visor, or walking a robotic dog. If Brendon was going to be dropped unceremoniously into the future without his consent, there could at least be robotic dogs. | Time travel fic! Um. This one is sort of weird, but it’s also really good.

- The Sweet Spot by vixalicious | T (though I think it’s closer to M), 14872, "Responsibility" should be Spencer Smith's middle name (except it's James). After all, not many people would sacrifice their lives to run the family bakery and raise their twin sisters. But now the girls are grown, and Spencer has to learn to put his own needs first! And Brendon, the Sweet Spot's newest regular, might just be what Spencer's looking for. But will Brendon's past get in the way of their present? | I’m pretty sure this was for the LJ challenge harlequin_bands, and it shows, but I’m into those tropes, so it’s all good.

- All In The Way That You Trip by skoosiepants | M, 22199, “I’m going to ask you one more time,” he says, and he looks – Brendon shudders – he looks like he wants Brendon to stay quiet, like he’s just itching to take Brendon apart and maybe put him back together wrong. “Where is Ryan?” | I initially read this fic on LJ, so when I found out that it was also hosted on AO3, I was like: huh? But: secret agent!Spencer is a concept I can get behind.

- Personal Affairs by zarah5 | M, 31094, Office AU. When Spencer Smith is put in charge of planning some legal aspects of a top secret, rather spectacular take-over of another company, he quickly falls into an e-mail sort-of-flirtation with his colleague at another site, Brendon Urie. But when Brendon actually visits New York and Spencer for a face-to-face meeting, Spencer withdraws because how do you handle it when someone you exchanged countless e-mails with turns out to be just as hot as you imagined? | I am NOT qualified to make a reclist where I give my own thoughts, okay? This fic was really good, albeit the conflict was superficial.

- Only Unto Him by disarm_d | E, 25837, As a Prince(ish person), Spencer was meant to be pure in every way. He didn't know what to expect from an arranged marriage — but certainly not Brendon's incessant grabby hands. Who did this bouncy, mysterious stranger think he was? AND ARE SEXY TIMEZ EVER GOING TO HAPPEN? [Hint: it is quite likely they are.] | This fic is great. This was another one I originally read on LJ, but I reread it on AO3, so. You don’t lose anything from the switch between platforms, and for me it’s easier to read it all in one place (so I always turn on read full work on AO3 instead of chapter by chapter, so theoretically I can read it all in one sitting.)

- Stranger In This Town by seratonation | E, 11427, It was an idyllic sort of life. He had a secure job, a substantial paycheck, and a loving husband. And yet, Spencer felt tired. He felt numb, like everything around him was fading, or maybe it was the other way around, and he was the one who was fading. | I have Not seen the movie this is based on, but most fics that are based off of other things you don’t need knowledge of it for.

- If You’re Listening, Sing It Back by blackbird | E, 10079, If sometimes he ends up in the men's room with another guy pressed up against the door, that's no one else's business. Until one morning, by accident, it is. | I recently reread this fic, and most of the fics I’ve read are just as good on the reread.

- Closer by tigs | T, 1725, It feels different when, the moment Ryan sees them, he slams to a halt and says, "Shhh! We don't want to interrupt Spence and Brendon's cuddle time!" | Cuddle time! Accidental relationships!

- Into This Dream by (an orphaned account) | E, 28417, He's my best friend. I wish I could have been his. | I really understand Brendon in this fic. Wanting someone to be as close of friends with someone as you are with them is familiar to me, so Brendon’s decisions make a little more sense. (But I’m aromantic! So there is no romantic interest in my friends. So similar, but not completely the same.)

- And I’d Be Your Memory by tigs | Unrated, 8383, And somehow, midway through the tour, the postcard collecting becomes known as Brendon’s thing. | This is a feel-good fic.

- The Estranged Governess by wildestranger | E, 33258, Brendon is a governess with a disgraced past, who comes to teach the young cousins of Sir Spencer Smith. Sir Spencer is amused by this bouncy young man, and finds himself paying far to much attention to Mr Boyd's secretive manner as well as to the way he fills his regrettably old and worn clothes . Furthermore, Sir Spencer's oldest friend, the dissolute Lord Ross, is trying to woo, unsuccessfully, his estate manager Mr Walker. despite the tumultuous passion between them, Mr Walker refuses to give in to Lord Ross's advances as long as Lord Ross refuses to admit that it is more than a tumble in the hey that he wants from Mr Walker. Fortunately, Walker is a patient man and willing to wait while Ross goes through his tantrums. To this entangled situation arrives Mr Wentz, a cousin of Sir Spencer and an old flame of Lord Ross. Mr Wentz is known for his debauched lifestyle and delights in causing mayhem - and he seems far too interested in Sir Spencer's new tutor. But will the lovers find a way? Will Brendon lose his flower and find healing through the magic of buttsex? Will Ryan learn to admit his feelings and finally convince Jon Walker to bed him? | For some reason I associate this fic with this GSF fic that will be later on this list.

- Sea Change by sunsetmog | M, 53895, After getting his heart broken, Spencer tries to start a new life without the band. | This is the other Spencer-leaves-Panic! fic on this list. This one’s a lot more angsty, but also really great.

- Lights Never Shine as Bright as in the Movies by Sena | E, 35251, Brendon Urie's a master's student in music at UNLV who happens to make porn on the side. Spencer Smith's a wilderness photographer who happens to really, really like the online porn Brendon makes. They meet and shenanigans ensue. Also featuring Shane Valdes as Brendon's roommate and owner of his very own online porn site, William Beckett as Las Vegas' bitchiest maitre 'd, Gabe Saporta as a mime waiter, Greta Salpeter as a harried and overworked assistant, and Ryan Ross as himself. | It’s a...lot more angsty than you might think it is based on the summary.

- This Kind of Experience is Necessary For Her Learning by sinuous_curve | E, 8867, High on his shoulder, just off the ridge of his shoulder blade, he has an oblong bruise sunk into his skin. It's bright, livid purple, ridged with a regular series of darker spots along the edge. Spencer has a moment of wondering whether he was the victim of a prank he's since forgotten about or if he got abducted by aliens or someshit. Then, in a rush, he remembers. | Kink story. Why is Brencer the ship where everyone writes the kink stories? Serious question.

- E-mail Ficcish: Ashlee Simpson, Girl Romance Detective by Elucreh | T, 1370, RACHEL: http://twitter.com/petewentz/statuses/8302818080 LU: OH MY GOD, PETE, I LOVE HOW MARRIED YOUR DOUBLE DATE COMPANIONS ARE RACHEL: This is clearly the fic where Ashlee thinks they ARE dating and there's a lot of awkward coughing and hemming and hawing when they try to explain that uh... actually no?(BUT OBVIOUSLY THEY ARE IN LOVE) | AAAAAAAA

- More Adventurous by fictionalaspect | E, 48831, Spencer wondered if everyone thought he and Brendon were dating. He wondered about the way Brendon was always so tactile with him, the effortless way Brendon sort of fell into Spencer's personal space like he belonged there. He wondered if it was weird that Brendon was sleeping in his bed, if maybe Jess had just misheard him and assumed they were sleeping together in Spencer's bed, like Spencer used to do with Ryan. It got to the point that he wasn't even paying attention to what was going on in the game, and thus was totally blindsided when a particularly impressive kick by Taylor Murphy caught Spencer squarely in the balls. "Motherfucker," Spencer swore, when he felt himself capable of forming words again. "Happens to the best of us," Mr. Davies said, clapping him firmly on the shoulder. The impact jarred his back and by extension Spencer's sore balls, and he squeaked in pain. "You'll be alright," Mr. Davies said. "Just keep your eye on the ball next time. And watch that language." "Sure," Spencer said, instead of what he wanted to say, which was "Fuck you, douchebag." Spencer didn't need his gym teacher's sympathy, he needed a fucking ice pack. | Panic! at the Disco’s origin story is seriously like a fanfiction. Seriously.

- The Name of this Thing is Not Love by fictionalaspect | E, 21912, "I'm telling you," Jon says, and clicks his tongue behind his teeth like a disappointed grandmother. "There's a whole other world out there, man. You need to expand your horizons a little." "That's nice," Spencer says. It gives him a weird jolt in his stomach, to hear Jon spell it out like that. "Thank you for your concern. My sexuality is fine, thanks. It doesn't need your sympathy or your support." "It might get you laid," Jon says. "I get laid," Spencer says. "Sometimes." "No, you don't," Jon says. "You think very hard about it, decide it isn't worth it, and then you go home and order Chinese." | This fic, for some reason, feels like part of an almost totally unrelated story written way earlier by a different author. Like. Seriously.

- When Life Gives You Lemons (Say F**k the Lemons and Bail) by fiddleyoumust | E, 26475, Brendon and Spencer go on a cruise to escape their problems. They end up finding more than rest and relaxation. | Stands on its own.

- Amateur Cartography by fictionalaspect | E, 42365, In the summer of 2008, Brendon’s still trying to figure everything out. He’s good at keeping his own secrets, but when a prank goes awry, he’s faced with the realization that Spencer has some secrets of his own. They end up stumbling backwards into a complicated relationship—one that definitely doesn’t include sex. Or does it? | Again, kink fic. There are a few more on this list, I think.

- Works Both Ways by rsadelle | M, 1255, "The mate bond works both ways." Mark seems to realize that no one knows what to say to that, and he looks over at Spencer. "Are we not supposed to say anything about that?" | Werewolf AU.

- The Amazing Tail of Brendon Boyd Urie by RedOrchid | T, 1977, For the prompt: Brendon/Spencer, born with a tail. Written for no-tags 2011 | I’m pretty sure this is crack.

- If Music Be The Food Of Love (I’ll Have The Veggie Burger) by sunsetmog | M, 42250, Oblivious High School Failboats in Love, or, Brendon Urie: The High School Years. | Seriously. Panic!’s origin is very much so like a fanfic.

- Love Makes People Do The Wacky (or: Brendon Urie and Jon Walker, Adventures in Bromance) by ohohstarryeyed | M, 10651, As far as Brendon is concerned, being in love with Spencer would fucking suck, if it weren't for Jon Walker. | The power of friendship!

- Thereafter You Have It (And Tango Makes Three) by sunsetmog | E, 89286, Baby!fic. As harriet_vane succinctly put it, the almost true story of how Brendon's an idiot, Spencer brings Brendon shiny rocks, and no one gets any sleep. Or, alternatively, the one in which Brendon accidentally gets a girl pregnant, decides he wants to be a dad, and pretends like he's not in love with Spencer. "Hey, baby girl," Brendon says, softly. He thinks he should have thought of something more profound to welcome his daughter in to the world. | Kid!fic is my weakness, okay?

- Do Rockstars Dream Of Electric Sheep? by themoononastick | M, 18229, Spencer has weird dreams, questions his sexuality and spends a lot of time hiding things away in boxes in his mind. | This one is...weird and sort of puts you in a daze. I don’t know, okay?

- Here At The Right Time by sunsetmog | E, 51477, How had he managed to get this far in life without realizing exactly what it was that turned him on? | More kink-based fic.

- Cute Girls (Just Wanna Have Fun) by LittleMousling | E, 36960, Brent may have tricked Ryan and Spencer into auditioning a girl guitarist, but there's no question that Brendon is the best they've seen. Soon enough she's their new best buddy, too, hanging out at Spencer's house almost as much as Ryan does. The band is finally coming together, and Spencer's starting to think they might really make it as musicians--if she can stop getting distracted by her hopeless crush on Brendon. | The third early-Panic!-retelling I have. (There might be more idk.)

- A Presumption of Functionality (A Gas-Light Romance) by sunsetmog | G, 44502, When a spy brings news that an old inventor might have the key to finally bringing the war with Napoleon to an end, Spencer Smith, Officer of His Majesty's War Office, is dispatched north to discover if there's anything to these tales of dirigibles and flying-craft. Instead of flying-craft, however, he finds a unusual, dilapidated house – and instead of an old inventor, he finds Brendon Urie, complete with his pet hedgehog. With Brendon's scientist grandfather missing, Spencer is left trying to protect Brendon, rescue his grandfather and ensure that the secrets of flying-craft remain out of enemy hands. Vaguely steampunk-y AU in which the Napoleonic Wars didn't end with the Battle of Waterloo in 1815, but instead carried on well into the next decade. | I’m weak for steampunk AUs.

- Graham Need Not Apply by Pennyplainknits | T, 10327, Spencer doesn't want to be just one in a string of drummers for Panic. He's trying his hardest not to be another Graham, which would be easier if someone would tell him exactly what it is that Graham did. Or: Spencer pines, Brendon is a brave little toaster, and Ryan Ross will cut you. | That last part is practically a summary of most Brencer fics.

- I’d Hate To See You Frown by oanja | T, 52114, One would think that agreeing to an arranged marriage would make Spencer unhappy, but in fact he has nothing against it. Spencer has never been one to waste his time imagining swooping romances for himself, so settling for something more pragmatic is fine by him - especially as it's so beneficial to the family business. What he did not account for was his best friend Ryan becoming entangled in a very unsuitable affair with a libertarian, or that he would find his new spouse so appealing. Trying to prevent Ryan from ruining his reputation while adjusting to married life is going to require a delicate touch, which is not something Spencer has ever been known for. | Regency AU.

- Call It Home series by sunsetmog and fictionalaspect | E, 45630, Brendon feels like the one fixed thing in his life, the one unchangeable constant that Spencer can rely on even when everything around him is going to shit. It just figures that Spencer's going to ruin that, too, when they get back to LA and he makes his move. | This series was supposedly going to have more installments (I saw this on LJ, too), but with the two stories it currently has, it still feels complete.

- A Troubling of Hummingbirds by jukeboxghost | E, 11407, "Man," says Spencer, articulately, but Brendon gets it, he does. Here they are, here for a few days with two rented surfboards held together by layer after layer of duct tape and surfwax, the sweet smell of pungently rotting kelp, even sweeter surf, fresh fish and smokin' BBQ and gentle dusk every night and it's so utterly indulgent. Brendon feels fucking, like, nourished, feels like his insides have been scrubbed clean and copper-bright with wire wool, like all the dust and detritus and loose, lost feelings have been swept neatly into the corner, pruned and weeded and spring-cleaned. He takes a huge breath in. "Fuck yeah," he says. | This fic is sort of weird and airy in the unsettling way, but it’s really well-written.

- Hold on Tight and Don’t Let Go by fiddleyoumust | T, 13975, In reality, Brent brings Brendon to practice and Spencer falls in love with him the moment he bounces through the door of Spencer's garage. | The Story of Panic!, as told by yet another author.

- Stop Breathe Count To Three by sunsetmog and I think fictionalaspect (but I’m not completely sure on that) | E, 14907, "So, it's a comfort thing. It's just a comfort thing. Sometimes Brendon likes to suck on Spencer's nipples, and Spencer likes to hold him there and stroke his hair. Nothing weird about that." Or: We're not sorry. Not even a little bit. Not even at all. | This one’s sort of weird, but that’s okay.

- White Houses series by boxparade | Unrated, 44628, The one where Brendon is a music major who works at a diner and Spencer is the culinary arts major who thinks he’s cute. Ryan is all philosophical and kinda creepy (duh) and Jon works for Spencer’s dad, who happens to be the President of the United States. | Fluffy.

- Don’t cut your hair (Do you think it’s going to make him change?) by harriet_vane | T, 38891, The original summary was: Set a little while in the future. The band takes a break and Brendon gets bored. Spencer goes with him. Now I suppose it would be "Set a little bit in a slightly nicer past, where Brendon and Spencer go on tour by themselves but it isn't the end of the band." | Haven’t read this one in a while. I need to reread it, but I remember it being good.

- Suppose We Never Ever by playfullips | M, 23111, After Haley breaks it off with Spencer, Brendon helps him get back on his feet. Time passes, and Spencer finds himself seeing Brendon in a different light. | A lot more angsty than you’d think?

- Interlinked by doctor_jalsey | T, 12784, A story about finding yourself in the most unusual way and new beginnings. Or conversely, a mildly steampunkish fic where Spencer doesn’t realize he’s dating Brendon. | Still weak for steampunk.

- Forever Together by eledhwenlin | E, 15232, Spencer was taken by the phouka when he was only eight years old. He has grown up in their world and considers himself part of their community. But when Brendon and Spencer fall in love, they face serious ramifications ... and the only solution is to brave the human world together on their own, if they don't want to give up their love. | Fantasy is my favorite genre, mostly taken out on real books.

- I Wish I Could Remember You by sunsetmog | T, 8411, Spencer wakes up in the hospital after a surfing accident, and can't remember the last three years of his life. The doctors tell him his amnesia is likely to only be temporary, but in the meantime, Spencer can't remember the house he shares with Brendon, their dog, or how long they've been dating. Because--they are dating, right? | Not much to say on this one.

- The Heart of Lonesome Sky by heartsdesire456 | E, 30609, When Brendon Urie arrives at Rusty Creek, a ranch town so small the saloon doesn't even have a name, all he knows is that the man he was sent to marry was named Spencer Smith. At first glance, Brendon can't understand why a man as handsome and well established as Spencer Smith would need a mail-order groom when he should have been able to get any eligible man or woman in Rusty Creek. Through awkwardness, acceptance, and eventually belonging, Brendon has a chance to eventually learn the heart of the man who brought him to Lonesome Sky ranch. | Historical AUs!

- Autocorrect Says I Longview You But I Say I Love You by Count_B and Shakespeares_Girl | T, 2027, When you're in love, you leave little notes everywhere, and you just can't stop texting each other, and eventually, those things pile up and tell a story all their own. (Story told in love notes and text messages, and a tweet or two.) | Really, really cute.

- Fear of Flying by mokuyoubi | E, 29356, Spencer Smith, part-owner and celebrated head chef of noted restaurant Panic! At The Disco, is talented, rich, and gorgeous. The rest of the staff can't even seem to remember that Brendon works there. “You’re really good at that,” Jon observed. “Good at what?” Brendon asked, swirling his spoon in his dish. The ice cream was a melted mess by now. “Finding excuses not to come to the party even when you’re invited, not letting Spencer get to know you even when he asks you a direct question about yourself,” Jon said casually. Brendon dropped his spoon and glared across the table. “What are you trying to say?” “I’m saying that you don’t want anyone getting any closer to you,” Jon said. “How long were you with your last boyfriend?” | Warning: may make you hungry. (Also, I’m pretty sure jackfruit doesn’t look like that - I’ve eaten it.)

- Cinderella AU series by mokuyoubi | E (whole series), 32169, A Brencer retelling (sort of) of Cinderella. | This should really be a brencer fic but my favorite part of this is Pete/Ashlee/Patrick and idk why.

- The View From Here by mokuyoubi | E, 13634, Spencer has an irrational fear of Ferris wheels. Brendon sees it as his duty as best friend to cure him of it. | Or: Jon and Ryan try to set Spencer and Brendon up!

- The Gay Mormons series by stele3 | T, 39104, No summary | Poly!Spencer is amazing, okay?

- A Storm Brewing by bad_peppermint | G, 25073, Ever since he started university, Spencer has been quite content studying his dragons and trying to talk to Brendon, the young man who works at Spencer's boarding house. Having the dragons fall mysteriously ill is the last thing he wants, but then again, it does mean more time spent with Brendon as they try to figure out what's wrong. | The full title is too long, okay?

- There’s a boy that I like by spendon | T, 3833, 'There's a boy that I like,' Brendon began typing, fingers moving swiftly over the keyboard, tapping the keys delicately. |

- that one regret is you by thescrewtapedemos | E, 13969, There’s a witch living way out in the woods (that’s Spencer) and there’s someone running blindly through said woods (that’s Brendon) and that’s about where the similarity to a fairytale ends (there’s a cauldron but Spencer only uses it to make soup so Brendon’s pretty sure it doesn’t count) | Fantasy, again, is my favorite genre of rl novels. So, it’s pretty much a given that with this length + this AU, I would at least read it. But it’s actually great.

- Rule #3 (Wear Your Heart On Your Cheek) by Kandakicksass | E, 7768, "someone write me a brencer au where when you fall in love, a little heart shows up on your body, in totally random places, and Spencer falls in love for the first time with Brendon during like idk nothing rhymes with circus tour and the heart is like this cute thing that shows up on HIS FACE somewhere (like under his eye, on his cheek, or up high on his forehead) and he’s so embarrassed by it and it takes Brendon like two months and a lot of laughing from Ryan for him to figure out that Spencer is in love with him" I keep filling my own prompts. Enjoy. | The fact that the title came from a Marina song made me love this fic even more.

- And the world has its shine (but I would drop it on a dime for you) by AbsolutelyNothing and peachypunk | E, 165889, In Victorian-ish times, The Smith family has served the wealthy Urie family for generations. Being so close in age, Brendon and Spencer become best friends and, over time, the rich, Omega socialite, Brendon, starts to fall for his personal, Alpha servant, Spencer. | A/B/O is a concept I was first introduced to on AO3. Like, it’s all the werewolf AUs without the turning into a wolf part, and it’s developed into its own thing.

- *Need You Wild by fallintosilence and boweryd | E, 105K+, Spencer's a werewolf! A sexy werewolf! Okay, really, Spencer is a newly turned, slightly confused werewolf who can't figure out why Brendon smells so good all the time. Or why Spencer can't seem to stop acting like he is 16-years-old, what with all the blushing and stuttering around Brendon and the constant jerking off. Fear not, though, gentle reader, because it turns out Brendon is totally on board with having a werewolf boyfriend. And with having lots and lots of sex. | Werewolves are sort of cool. There’s a lot of p0rn in here, though.

Joncer

This pairing is used as a side for Ryan/Brendon and I really think it deserves its own time in the spotlight more often. It’s after brencer in popularity because it’s mostly shafted off as a side pairing and not the main one.

- Kick It Back by afterthefair | E, 6103, Spencer thinks the girls fall into a few distinct categories: the ones who either haven’t heard the news or don’t care, the ones who want to convert him, and the ones who shout “Kiss! Kiss!” every time he and Jon get within a foot of each other. | Coming out fic.

- Median by strangecobwebs | E, 23356, Jon first learned about the Kinsey scale when he was about seventeen. And if zero is completely heterosexual, and six is completely homosexual? Jon Walker is a three. So very much a three. |

- If It Kills Me by foxxcub | E, 16928, Spencer Smith knows there must be a catch when Jon Walker − his despised FBI partner − offers to transfer out of Chicago and far, far away from him. There's a catch, all right: Spencer has to spend one sexy night with the untamed playboy. Okay, so the guy's hot. So his reputation in the bedroom is the stuff of legend. So Spencer's been in a dry spell for, oh, over a year. So maybe one night to be rid of him isn't so unbearable. But once the sheets have cooled, Spencer's just starting to heat up, and moving away is the last thing on Jon's mind...FBI AU. Plot and summary stolen shamelessly from Erin McCarthy's novella Miss Extreme Congeniality. Title stolen from Jason Mraz. | This is another fic for the to-reread list.

- Let the Future Come into Each Moment by saramir | E, 27277, In which Spencer turns thirty, Jon is even more affectionate toward him than usual, and Ryan & Brendon are writing (and arguing about) a plant-themed album. Set on tour, 2017, after a failed album and failed relationships, all while the four of them have stuck together, and then some. | Future fics always hurt a little, because nobody could have predicted the split.

- Jon’s Bookstore (A Few of My Favorite Things) by foxxcub | M, 11235, A funeral is really the wrong place to learn you've inherited a business. |

- The Bootstrap Paradox and Other Tips for Finding True Love by mokuyoubi | E, 41829, In response to the harlequin_bands challenge: Swept from her dismal present in the 1990s (facing unemployment and the singles scene), Phoebe Turlow takes a wrong turn at a hotel (while attending a “free” vacation in the Caribbean, sponsored by a condo company) and winds up in the seventeenth century in the company of a sexy, witty pirate named Duncan Rourke. As if Rourke does not have enough to do fighting the British in the American Revolution, he has to determine whether short haired, strange speaking Phoebe is a spy, a witch, or worse. Instead, he falls in love with her. Okay, so Ryan was going to be Phoebe and Brendon Duncan, except then somehow Spencer and Jon took over the story, and so this really tells the story of Phoebe and Duncan’s best friends. Oh, also changed it to the eighteenth century, since I’m *pretty* sure that’s when the American Revolution actually took place…*shrug* | The 18th century is when the American Revolution really took place, because the century numbers versus actual year numbers are sort of misleading.

- Catnip by rockme | T, 7187, One day while smoking, Jon hears a distant meow. | No, but seriously, this fic is basically about weed actually turning people into cats. 

- *Anywhere, Say Anywhere (As Long As I’m with You) by hidingoutside | E, Unknown, As the head of guest services at Oakhart Ranch, Jon Walker's supposed to make sure everything's running as smoothly as possible, even when Spencer Smith, former rodeo champion, comes rolling into town to help his former mother-in-law keep the ranch from going under. Jon's never heard anything good about Spencer, but Spencer's never anything but helpful and generally awesome to Jon and his infant daughter. Suddenly living on in the middle of nowhere Wyoming doesn't seem so bad... |

Rycer

I used to dislike this pairing. Not like, absolutely hate, but I had the tendency to avoid it.

- Mistletoe by amethyst__angel | T, 1191, Christmas is supposed to be a time for love, for friendship, for presents and accidentally walking under the mistletoe with your best-friend-since-forever... | I might be typing this on December 27th, but I started compiling this list before Christmas, so it’s fine.

- Further Down the Road by zarah5 | T, 7029, The sketch of a full moon is sitting next to yesterday’s date, and twenty-eight days, Spencer thinks. Twenty-eight days. He could be wrong, of course, but… He doesn’t know why it makes a twisted kind of sense mostly because it’s Ryan, but it does. | .

- Tearing Down the Toy City by roebling and rubblerousing | M, 52864, "What I'm trying to say, Spence, is that if you don't like the way things are going, that's fine, but if you're nostalgic for five years ago, you better give up. 2001 is not coming back. You and Ryan were never going to be fourteen forever. I think you need to figure out what you want." | There’s a mixed bag of fics in this tag, but the hurty ones are always the most well-written.

- Through All Kinds of Weather by Marks | E, 28994, Ryan gets sick and pushes himself too hard. Enter Spencer and his world of denial. | .

- His Executive Sweetheart (I’ll Put The Coffee On) by sunsetmog | M, 34252, As a bored but efficient executive assistant, Ryan Ross wasn't supposed to have fallen madly, hopelessly in love with his boss. Especially when his boss was business mogul and confirmed bachelor (and old childhood friend) Spencer Smith. His best friends were convinced that only one thing would get Spencer to notice him, and that was a makeover. But if he lets them have their way, then how is Ryan to ever really know for sure if Spencer likes Ryan for real? | .

Jon/Brendon

What...is the ship name for this? Also, I only have one rec for this pairing. I’m not a fan of this pairing, for some reason. I just...don’t quite understand it? Either way. One rec.

- (Panic! at the Disco Almost Changed Their Name to) Fuzzy Kitten Cuddle Time by dsudis | E, 14407, In which Jon Walker is sometimes a kitten. | Kittens.

Endnotes

Poly reclist coming up next. There are a lot of fics on that list.

(Edit 11/5/19: Fixed a broken link.)