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colourline · 7 years ago

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A little chat about looking through old photos and old memories

A small city called Mariager, in the northern parts of Jutland, Denmark around the year 2012. That's when the photo is taken.

I recently found an old hard drive with pretty much all of my old photos on. Most of them I thought was long gone. But there they were, so I took a look.. and sighed a little. I'm gonna have a lot of sorting to do. Thousands of photos from years and years, many unsorted, yay. But my heart also skipped a bit, because in there I knew, was a lot of hidden gems, I thought was lost and some I even forgot I had. Photos from my first photoshoots as a kid and afternoon walks in the woods with only the camera and I. There were photos I cringed at others I smiled at, some made me feel a sense of nostalgia and other times I'm just glad that time of my life is over. Others even made me grieve, grieve a little over the life I once had. Some made me proud of the person I am today. And even was then.

It’s a bizarre thing going through old photos of my past self. It's like looking through a window into a past memory. Back at a time. Remembering how I dressed, who were my friends, which guys I fancied, how I was feeling and what was important to me at the time.

I've avoided looking back for a good while because it would put me in a weird mood and sometimes make me a little sad at what was lost or over, but looking through them now was actually kinda nice. A little emotional, but I guess nothing else could be expected. I actually smiled a whole lot, laughed a little and felt a little warmer around my heart.

It's weird how many memories and emotions a photo can bring up. But it's like they say: "a picture holds a thousand words" I think I'm gonna go ahead and add a couple of emotions too. Looking through the photos - especially from my teen years filled me with a mix of joy and sadness for what I knew was coming and what I was going through. My teen years were pretty hard on me, so I knew what was coming wasn't only chocolate and butterflies. But I also know that I was a strong girl. And eventually, I would and will come out stronger.

If we take all the deep and emotional stuff aside, I also noticed to other things. One; I was a lot skinnier. I was almost a little underweight at one time. And I'm absolutely not anymore. And I'm actually okay with it. I remember being 12-13-ish, crying, in the fitting room because I thought my butt looked too big in those cute jeans I so badly wanted. Looking back, I know something was disturbingly wrong with how I viewed myself, I was not as big or fat as I thought. And even if I was, I was still valuable and beautiful. I've also had to listen to family members telling me I've gained weight, but you know what? And telling me ways I could lose it again. But you know what? I have learned a lot about accepting my body. And loving it right now, in the state that it is now. No matter the amount of fat on it. In the beginning, it was quite frightening looking at the skinny girl I once was, but now I'm totally okay with it, because I'm okay with my body now too. Yay, for progress!

Second; even though I was a shy girl, who did not like attention at all. And was never cool enough for the "cool kids", I still was always strong enough to be myself. (You go, girl!) I moved to a new city and school at 13, I came from a very small school with around 50 students to a school with over 200 students, straight into an environment with heavy pressures on wearing the right brands. I barely knew brands existed. That's how "innocent" I was. I even laughed when I saw a girl and a boy, in my class, wearing the same t-shirt, before "understanding" it was one of those "cool" brands. I remember it was a choice I had to make. Fall for the pressure.. or! just don't give in and be me. I chose the second. And it's one of those moments that I'm the proudest of in my whole life. And have shaped a lot of who I am today and how I look at myself. Daring to step out of my comfort zone and doing something no one else was doing, goes a lot deeper than what clothes I'm wearing or what brand I am or not wearing. Especially in those identity-building years. There's a lot I probably wouldn't wear now, but I look at photos from back then and admire my bravery. Especially since I was not a big fan of attention - yet I dared to stand out. Being myself was more important than the fear of attention. My teenage self often inspire my now-self so! I don't wanna lose that bravery! I actually have to remind myself of what I fought for back then, and sometimes I even ask myself: what would the-teen me do?

Anyways, I'd like to encourage you all to dare look at photos from your younger years. Whether it's dusty photo albums at your parent's loft or tagged facebook photos - it brings out some interesting memories, emotions, wonder and reflection. Enjoy! Oh, and please do tell me about it! I'd love to know what gems you found or what you learned!

Until next time; don't let anyone steal your greatness! // Line xX

#looking back #nostalgia #old photos

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colourline · 7 years ago

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Ethical Fashion: Why I Care - Sara Laughed

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colourline · 7 years ago

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#100gratefuldays 82/100 - during a hard hard time in my life someone told me…

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colourline · 7 years ago

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thursday's 7 // things we need to stop glorifying

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colourline · 7 years ago

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thursday's 7 // things we need to stop glorifying

I'm starting a little series called Thursday's 7. Every Thursday I'll share 7 things. To educate, entertain, help, wonder and love. I hope you'll enjoy it. If you've got some suggestion you'd like me to write about, leave them in the comments. I'll start the series with a rather heavy topic; 7 things we need to stop glorifying.

youth - in the media, commercials, hollywood.. they all flood with young young people. I'm pretty sure over half the lotions we can buy nowadays advertise with being anti-wrinkle or anti-age. Why are we so afraid of getting old? Why do we take it as an insult if people think we look older than we are? Why do we take it as a compliment when people think we look younger than we are? Looking young or youthful isn't the only kind of beauty and it doesn't equal health nor success. We aren't outdated until we start acting like we are and letting it limit us.

thinness and weight loss. (if you've struggles with ED; triggers may come, so if you're vulnerable in that area, proceed with caution or skip this part) Those times when I've lost weight enough for people to notice (compliment) it's usually because I had a period where I almost didn't eat. I remember one time, I was 17 and just started 1st year of gymnasium (the Danish school system is different from the US/UK, but it's a combo of high school and college) and I was crushing on this boy who mostly into thin/"hot" girls. I never thought I'd measure up to his standards (turns out I didn't in the end, anyway, but that's another story), but a mix of wanting him to be attracted to me, falling in love and society's (stupid) beauty standards I managed to convince my mind and stomach that I didn't need to eat. I think I eat only around 25%-50% of what I normally eat and what probably should be healthy. I guess this is the closest to an Eating Disorder - don't try this at home! Sometimes I didn't eat my first thing till 3 or 4 in the afternoon, which was only like a half sandwich or so. Not. Healthy. At. All. I'm not gonna talk about how much I lost, but it was enough for people to start noticing - and complimenting me. I'm pretty sure the complimenters did it with their best intentions, but if you look at how I lost the weight (and I wasn't overweight btw) it's crazy that we live in a society and culture where not eating is considered culturally acceptable and not only that it's actually an great accomplishment. Not. Healthy. At. All. I've heard people losing a lot of weight during their chemo-treatment and receive compliments. I know people who live healthy normal lives and workout, but because they aren't thing enough for societies beauty standards they're considered "unhealthy". I'm what I consider and have heard pretty normal - a little more to the chubby side. I've finally accepted, that unless I wanna eat a very strict diet and workout 7 days a week, I'm probably never gonna meet society's beauty standards, but that doesn't mean I ain't beautiful. So I consider myself eating normally healthy and still, I have family members who think I should lose weight. It hurt me, in the beginning, I was only a young teen when they started picking on my body fat, but now I'm just relieved I'm not still using all that energy on wishing I was thinner. I still have bad days, but overall I'm happy with myself. Bottom line is; you'll never make everyone happy. We weren't put on this earth to meet everyone's standards and expectations, nor be attractive to everyone. As a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure that's pretty impossible. Wuah, can you tell I'm passionate about this? I've already deleted half of it and started a new blog post with my body image story. That'll be up shortly! Let's stop the rant and continue with the rest of the post.. I am planning on sharing my body image (or whatever you wanna call it) - story. If you're struggling yourself can I recommend Megan Jaybe Crabbe, she's on youtube @bodyposipanda on instagram and have a blog. She also wrote a book. You can get on Amazon right here. (affiliate link) In my august favourites I also talk a little about another brilliant bopo-babe Allison.

depression + anxiety - it may be mostly in the teenage-culture and on Tumblr, but this needs to stop. Depression and anxiety are two very serious mental illnesses. Depression has killed people and anxiety have made people miserable for decades. It's not something to be glorified!

making Hollywood the only types of success - being in Hollywood and on every front paper does not equal success. Does not mean you're happy. We can define our own success. Earning big money or singing to huge crowds isn't the only types of success.

getting wasted aka drunk - I had a friend of mine who didn't drink any alcohol at all. His classmates didn't get it, neither respected it, sometimes they even tried to trick him into drinking by jumping on him from behind and putting a beer bottle into his mouth. That's not okay. If someone said they didn't want cake or said no thanks to meat people would've accepted that, but when it's alcohol, there's some kind of force that's unreal. Why is it so "glamorous" to drink yourself so drunk you barely have control over what you do? I've never really enjoyed alcohol, I drink on rare occations and I've had (sober) people almost being aggreessive and asking "why" like I was a total jerk, just because I simply said "no thanks" when offered a beer. At a new school we we're going on a -get-to-know-eachother-trip and some of my fellow classmates (15-17 y/o) argued against the rule of not being allowed alcohol on the trip (for the record; in Denmark we're allowed to buy alcohol from we're 16) one of my classmates even argued he was a shy guy and couldn't open up and be social before he'd drunken a few beers. Really? So you're relying on alcohol to be social? I also know people who can't have fun without alcohol. What a sad sad life. I've never been drunk and I've had plenty of fun. The best parties I've attended or hosted have been alcohol-free. And are the ones we remember! Bonus: no hangover. And btw; you don't look or sound as cool as you think when you're totally wasted, to a sober person, you just look like a total idiot doing or saying stuff you would've never dared doing, being sober.

being busy - don't we all know that one person, who's always too busy. Or don't have time to meet up until the month after the next month *heavy eye roll*. I think this has so much to do with prioritizing. I don't get why people are busy. I understand there are seasons (i.g. having a newborn or preparing, preparing for a big exam etc.) where the resources and energy may not be on top, that's not what or when I'm talking about. Filling a schedule so full you don't have time to think or feel, just makes me wonder what you're running from? I wanna share I quote with you; "I don't say no because I'm busy, I say no because I don't want to be busy" (source). This is a quote I wanna live by. I also think this quote from Alice in Wonderland is brilliant: "the hurrier I go, the behinder I get". (source)

numbers - whatever is in our bank account, the number of facebook "friends", the number on the weight scale or followers on social media. Numbers don't define us. No matter big or small. Someone isn't cooler or better just because they have 100 more friends on facebook or 10k more followers on instagram. Let's preach this to ourselves and our (future, at least for me though) kids!

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colourline · 8 years ago

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A Wildflowers Home // 15 ways to take care of yourself through the winter depression + a Spotify playlist

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colourline · 8 years ago

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A Wildflowers Home // Self care // Fight for yourself // a spotify playlist

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colourline · 8 years ago

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15 ways to take care of yourself through the winter depression + a Spotify-playlist

If you're living in the northern part of the world like me, you're in the winter season which also means a lot less daylight. For some, this means that the mood sometimes drops a few levels.. and then it's extra important to be gentle and patient with yourself. Someone I know who struggles with winter depression reached out to me and asked for some advice or things to do when the winter depression is sneaking up on us. I thought she probably wasn't the only one going through this. I know what depression can feel like, but again depression feels different to different people, but I've written some things I know have either helped me or others. And even if you're not a sufferer, we all need some self-care now and then. There are different things that work for different kind of people. One thing can be a stress-factor for some and a stress-reliever for others. Find what works for you. Our bodies and minds respond differently to different things..

Here are some ways you can take extra good care of yourself this winter..

Check in with yourself. I received an advice ones, she told me that every morning before she went out of bed, she would ask herself what she had the energy to do that day. She would really check in with herself and be honest. This may take some practice, especially if you have ignored your feelings and body's needs for a long time. The less you've taken care of yourselves, the less you probably have the energy to do, but the more you practise self-care the better your body will feel. Some days don't have the energy to plan a week ahead, some days it's enough just "planning" the day in front of you. Some days it's necessary to take one day at a time. And that's o k a y .

Eat breakfast in bed. Some days it's just too much to leave bed, but it can also make us feel even more hopeless. Why not make your own little shelter in bed. Camp there. Bring a cup of tea (the bigger the cup the better). Sometimes I feel good enough to do some "work" (like writing a blog post) in bed. Other times all I can do is read a book or watch Netflix (but let's be mindful of what we watch, sometimes what we watch make us feel even worse about ourselves). Again, it all depends on what we need. No shame in staying in bed. ;)

Organise your Pinterest boards. Okay okay, listen.. for some this can feel like a totally unnecessary chore, if so.. then don't! BUT if you're like me and you like organising (bonus: while looking at pretty pictures) then I've found this is perfect for me! I still feel somehow productive and cleaning out old pins actually makes me feel a little better. It's always good cleaning out. On my Pinterest boards whenever I need inspiration, and then I always appreciate that I cleaned up (it's also interesting to see how your personal style & taste develops over time, I should totally write a blogpost about that some time!) and Pinterest's algorithms will know better what to show you.

Pin some quotes. ..talking about Pinterest, when I burned out last year I dedicated a whole Pinterest board to self-care. It's called // care, love + grow yourself and I'll link to it right here. So if you're in need of some self-affirmation, good quotes or just wanna read something encouraging - check it out and pin away!

Occupy your mind. I'm all about feeling your feelings and give yourself time to listen to what your heart is telling you aka. not pretending like you don't have feelings, BUT there are times when the mind just won't shut up. I usually explain it as "a war in my head". Now, you only know yourself if you're just avoiding your own feelings, please don't do that, eventually, they will find a way out. When all that is said, I have days when my anxiety is sky-high and my depression keeps re-playing "the-bad-memories-movie" to me. And no matter how many times I try to think about something else, it just doesn't work. It keeps screaming. Music doesn't even work for me on those days. It just brings up even more memories, weird situations or dramas that doesn't even exist. If you've struggled with your mental health, I'm sure some of this sounds familiar. On days like this, I try to distract my brain so that I drown the war going on in there. But as always, there can be good and bad ways of doing that. When I'm feeling like this I like listening to a podcast, reading, writing, declaring, watching something I enjoy, makes me laugh or fills me with inspiration.

Listen to podcasts. When music doesn't work for me, a podcast does. Then I'm focusing on someone else's voice. Or an audiobook if you're into that. And I can either learn something new, be inspired or enjoy some good entertainment.

Read. If you can focus enough, then read. A book (check my recommendations: "Stuff that shaped me"), a magazine, a blog, some old cards or maybe a dairy from your childhood. I've found that whenever I enter into another world my minds get occupied, just great! Or if I find a blog I really like, I keep on finding new blogposts I wanna read (I recommend Ashley Morgan Jackson and A Girl Named Leney). When all that is said, even though I love to read, sometimes I just can't. I just get too distracted all the time.. and then I forget where I left and you know.. It's better to stop and do something else for a while.

Write. Write something. It's a good way to get feelings out of your system. Or just get down on paper all the things swirling around in your head. If it's about a person, write them a letter and burn it.. or hide it, it's up to you. I actually wrote a letter to someone. I was tired of hearing their judging comments in my mind and needed it to stop. It actually helped me - I even shared it with you. Go leave a nice comment on someone's instagram post. We can all use some love. And what a beautiful thing it is to be supportive of others. Or maybe write a song? It works for the brilliant songwriters like Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran. Let me make it a cliche, write your heart out.

Watch. Your favourite YouTubers. Or a great movie (May I recommend The Shack? This is an affiliate link, but 100% my opinion) If I need to focus on happier things I either go to my Pinterest board dedicated to The Cat Family. Cats always make me happy. There are so many photos, memes, videos.. may I recommend videos of cats getting scared of cucumbers for an instant laugh?! They're always a joy watching. Especially when you live a place where you're not allowed pets. If you like some food for your mind I also made a playlist out of my favourite bodypositive & mental health videos.

Talk to someone. Skype a friend who lives far away. Call your parents or grandparents. Sometimes when we feel lonely or a bit sad is because we simply haven't spoken to a living human being.

Fingerpaint. I know it sounds like something a kindergarten would do, but getting all the tools away and litereally using your body, your hand, your fingers to *smoosh* out the paint. Feel the texture. Play around. Let go of all the pressure to create something pretty. Use some colours that fit your mood and make those fingers work!

Create a "hygge" atmosphere. It's actually gramatically incorrect, it should say "hyggelig", but since it's the noun version that's taken the world by storm, and probably the only one you recognize then I'll be a little gramatically incorrect, just for you, haha. I actually created a Pinterest board (has the fact that I'm a Pinterest freak sinked in yet? #noshame) it's called hygge by a danish girl. Yes I'm danish. I'm born in the country of hygge; Denmark. Any other danes out there? If you check out the board, you'll know it's the real deal ;) Anyways, whenever I'm feeling a bit weird or in need of some mood-boosters. I put on some of my favourite music, I light up al the candles, I mean ALL the candles, I'll find more if I need too. Make myself a hot cup of tea with milk! I might even make myself a little snack platter with whatever I find like some fruit slices, buiscuits, candy, some yoghurt with müsli.. you name it. Bring out your favourites and when you display it all on a plate it looks fancier, feels more luxurious and might even taste better (no promises). A blanket. Depending on what you need or want you can bring over a friend, a pet, a little brother, a book, a movie.. you name it, but creating a hygge-atmosphere can make it feel more homely. And a nice treat for ourselves. Sometimes just doing something for ourselves can make us feel better.

Listen to some upbuilding music. I don't think it's a secret that music can make us feel things and we can resonate with the words. As promised in the title, I created a spotify-playlist filled with songs that bring hope, bring courage, take away fear and makes us feel less alone or makes us wanna change the world. It's called Fight for yourself-playlists. I believe the words we say and listen to effects us more than we know. I try my best to fill my playlists with good music - especially lyric wise. There's a lot of lyrics filled with destructive thinking, not honourable and disrespectful behaviour, not to mention words I'd never say out loud. Feel free to share the playlist! (will continue to update it, so send me your suggestions!)

Create a self-care-box. Or feel-good-box. Whatever you wanna call it. Fill it with nice things. Like letters and cards you appreciate, cute notes, maybe your favourite perfume, some good-smelling soap, photos of people that make you smile, some nostalgic things from your childhood, your favourite snack (check the expiration date first!), some dried flowers, facemasks, a good hand cream, maybe even some scrubs, things that make you smile, feel better and taken care of.. you name it. I even have a album with screenshots on my phone of every time I receive a message or nice comment I wanna remember. I call it my happy album, with lots of emojis. One can never have too many emojis.

Paint your nails & wear some lipstick. What nonsense. You serious? Yes. I've sometimes felt a bit of shame if I used "too much" time in front of a mirror, but you know what? I've found that when I've played around with some makeup, I've actually enjoyed myself. I've used time on me. I took care of me, myself and I. Even if I were just to spend the day at home, by myself. I did it for me, not for you. Actually; painting my nails has worked as a stress-reliever for me. Such a small weird thing, but first of all; it makes me happy to look at my pretty painted nails (as long as they're not chipped), we look at them all day long and the process of creating some art on my body has made me feel better. I've heard others talk about the power of putting on some lipstick. It's not the lipstick in itself that brings magic, but the symbol of putting on putting on some war-paint on our lips actually does something to our psyche. Believe it or not. It's a little like putting on a uniform. If you've ever worn a uniform or if you have a special dress code to work, you know that it makes a difference. Imagine a lawyer in a jumpsuit!? Or a cop in a dress? How we dress makes us look differently at ourselves and at others. It's not just about judging people, it's about what signals we send out to ourselves and each other, but let's stay on track. Putting on a little lipstick or painting your nails may not transform you, but can make a little difference in how we proceed ourselves. And on days we might not feel like dressing up (we all have those days) a little lipstick will do. And you know what, you guessed it: I have a Pinterest board for that too. It's called // hair & beauty (I've organized them into different sections, so it's easier getting what you/I want ;) You're welcome)

If you've got anything you do that helps you when you're feeling low or some self-care tips, feel free to share with us in the comments. I wish you the best winter. I want you to know that this is a safe place. I hope you can feel less alone when you're visiting my online home. Know that the bad days won't last forever and that even the queen has days she doesn't feel good. You're not alone in this. If it encouraged you, please share it and pass it on to people you think could need a little extra encouragement, I mean who doesn't? Thank you for reading. Thank you for being you! // Line Thybo Xx

#mental health #depression #winter depression #spotify #self-care

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