complex-trauma-things

[complex-trauma-things]

[complex-trauma-things]

IG: @JAVARISXFIGHTTHOSEDEMONS

[complex-trauma-things]

my favorite bit of "rich people are Like That" ephemera that I picked up from my Russian literature binge was from a noble character who was complaining about his serfs neglecting their duties, specifically the duty of staying up all night long slapping the pond water in order to prevent the frogs from croaking so that the nobleman could enjoy his sleep at his country estate with its adorable pond. whenever I hear wealthy people's complaints in this day and age the majority of it automatically filters to "the fucking serfs won't slap the pond anymore and it's honestly so destructive and cruel of them to deny me my beauty sleep like this" type statements

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my favourite thing is when someone says “i think about you a lot” or “i had a dream about you” or “i was just about to text you” or something because the fact that i occur to someone when I’m not talking to them or anything is the best thing i just

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( using written mediums like text/email is also a good safety measure when you have to communicate with abusers outside of work settings - if you don't have that un-editable transcript, it's much easier for them to forget, misremember, or actively lie about what they and you said )

Do Not Let HR do this to you. It is not illegal to talk about wages in the work place. I did and got a 12% raise!

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really strange how you can be almost at peace with something that happened to you but it will continue to be a defining moment of your life for the rest of your life. you wont think about it much anymore but in a conversation about a film someone will mention the year it was released and you’ll think to yourself, “that was before it happened” and you’ll see an old photo and think how strange it is to have existed before it happened and somehow it’s like living a life in two acts

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sending extra love to the friend who always feels like they’re on the outside, who walks behind the group when there’s no room on the sidewalk, who is always the listener and the giver. you are an amazing person and friend. i hope people acknowledge that, because you deserve it.

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thank fucking god I'm not 14 anymore

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Hey you know that thing you're good at? That thing you think makes you valuable? The way you are, or the thing you do, etc?

You can be and deserve to be and will be loved and cherished even without it.

You're not worthwhile because you help, or you are good at making your art, or your skills at your job. You're worthwhile inherently, as a person, even without all that.

And I want you to internalize that because otherwise there might come a day where you can't do The Thing You Think Makes You Valuable. You'll get sick and can't draw, you'll burn out and can't do your job, you'll be emotionally unable to do your regular helpfulness for whatever reason, and you'll start to feel like you have no worth anymore.

But that's not true. You have worth, you deserve comfort and companionship and happiness, and that's not a conditional thing. You deserve that, even if you can't be Useful and Productive and all that shit.

It's an easy trap to fall into to justify yourself as "well, at least I help/make art/work hard" and have that be entirely too much of your self-esteem. Being proud of your work is fine. Being proud of yourself solely through your productivity is not, because you're making it conditional. And conditional on something that can change for reasons completely outside your control!

You gotta stop thinking about it like you gotta justify the space you take up on the planet. It's great if all those things make you happy: just make sure they're not the only things that make you feel like you are justifying your existence, or you'll crater if they get taken away.

You are lovable and likable and you have value as a person and a member of society, even if you never can be productive again. You are enough.

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Hey. Even if they “meant well” or “didn’t know better”, you don’t owe them forgiveness.

Even if they’re “better now”, it doesn’t change the harm that was done. You’re still allowed to be angry and want nothing to do with them.

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practise disappearing

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Please stop telling yourself you are complaining and whining when you are only expressing how you feel on a physical, mental and emotional level.

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I remember when I was hella broke. I’m still broke, that’s why I remember so well.

[complex-trauma-things]

by starparkdesigns

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