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Stetson Labs- Chapter 2: A Girl Who Feels Useless.

A/N: I decided not to allow Winter to be quite 100% ready to talk to the Winchesters. Although she is happy and feels comfortable, she still has some severe PTSD. Her not talking is a phycological thing, not a choice. I just wanted to say that in case it came across like I was creating drama for no reason between her and the Team. Thanks!

WARNINGS: Mild language, panic attack, torture flashbacks

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own any characters, only Winter.

My bare feet made a quick slapping sound on the concrete floor. Why was I running? I don’t remember how I got here. But for some reason, I knew I need to run. This place didn’t look the same as before, I know that. Why am I running? Whats going on? The thought of not knowing scared me more than whatever the hell I was running from. I turned a sharp corner and slammed into something. It grunted as we both fell. I scrambled backwards until my back hit the wall, my tail got caught up under my feet, causing my to yelp lightly. I covered my ears and my breathing was erratic and painful. 

“Hey, hey. Its okay, you’re alright.” a voice said. It was gruff, but not aggressive. I glanced up, through my tear pooled eyes. He didn’t have long hair like Sam, or the iconic coat of Castiel. I shut my eyes and clenched my ears harder and my tail began to frizz out, a stupid side affect of fear. I knew this was Dean.

“Easy, you’re okay.” Dean slowly reached out to me and grasped my wrists. It was gentle, and comforting. “Look at me. You’re not there anymore. Breathe. In. Out. In. Out. Thats it, keep going.” I followed his breathing instructions. I began to regain control of my trembling body. Dean moved so he could sit next to me with our backs against the wall. He put one arm around my shoulders, and the other held onto my head. He stayed with me like that until my breathing relaxed. He pet my head and swayed back and forth lightly, a rhythm that began to lull me into my sleep again. I heard Dean sigh and he picked me up. One arm under my legs, and the other under my back. I allowed my head to lay into his chest and slumber took me. 

_______________________________________________________________________

I blinked my eyes open.  I heard Sam and Dean talking outside my door, a benefit to my hypersensitive ears. I flicked my left ear to face the door and rolled to my side to put my right ear into the pillow so I could drown out all other noise and focus on the words. 

“I don’t know Sam. I heard running and I left my room to check what it was. She slammed into me.”

“I wonder what she was experiencing. Obviously some PTSD type stuff, but what?”

“Whatever it was, she feared for her life.” Dean said ‘matter-of-factly’.

“Well, just let her sleep for now. We can maybe ask about it when she wakes up, if she can talk through it, maybe we can get some info from her about the cases.”

“Yeah, seems like a good idea. If she even talks. She’s been silent for a week now. She just nods, or uses her ears to express herself.”

“I know. I think if we are close to a break-through with her. Just.... wait. Let her decide when she is ready.” 

I smiled, that was so like Sam. Letting me choose my life. Something that he said I didn’t get to do enough and now was the time. But Dean seemed to be coming around too, though he won’t admit to it. I yawned and stretched. I made enough noise to inform them that I was up. Sam cracked open the door. 

“Hey Winter. You’re up.” Sam entered the room, Dean in toe. I smiled and waved to them. “So, Dean tells me you had an.... episode last night. You okay?”

I froze. I knew this question was coming but to actually hear it made my blood run cold. My brain flashed back to chopped up moments. Moments that consisted of chains, needles, surgical tables, pills, drugs, and the like. My tail frizzed out, and my ears snapped straight. I stared at the floor. I barely heard Dean.

“Hey! Snap out of it.”

I shook my head clear and looked over at the brothers wide eyed. 

“Winter it’s fine. You don’t have to talk about it.” Sam grinned sadly. Though he said that, the disappointment in his eyes said otherwise. I felt horrible that I couldn’t help. But, my brain won’t let me. Why? Why couldn’t I just open my mouth. God, I am useless. I gripped the bed sheets, me ears pinning back. Dean knew this meant frustration for me.

“Hey, Snowball, it really is okay. You’re fine. You’ll talk when you’re ready. I am going to fix breakfast. See you out there soon.” Dean turned and left with a wave. I glared after him when he used that nickname. While Cas and Sam may have named my Winter because of my ID Tag, Dean loved to make up other names. Anything with snow or ice was fair game. When I was flustered or in a fit, he liked to use Blizzard. Snowball was another normal. I think he was running out of ideas. 

“Well. Shall we help with breakfast before he burns the eggs again?” Sam smirked at me. We both ran to the kitchen. 

_______________________________________________________________________

I was relaxing in the library room reading a fantasy book. Name Of The Wind by Patrick Rothfuss. Once he found out what my favorite genre was, Sam made sure to grab books for me whenever they ran to a store. Dean liked to lift them from libraries. Cas would always get me girly books, like romance or young adult types stuff. He says thats what girls my age were reading, at least thats what the lady at the bookstore kept telling him. I just would smile and take the books, though they collected dust in the corner of my shelf. I glanced at the calendar that was hung on the wall in front of my chair. It had been 4 days since they left. When they first explained to me what they did, I didn’t believe them, but then again, I am the girl with wolf ears and tail. Functional ones too. So, after seeing some proof they provided, I backed down. They were on a hunt. Dean said 5 days tops. So I counted the hours. I didn’t like being alone. Usually Cas checked in on me, but I think he is helping them this time and can’t get away. I let out a deep breath and got back to my book. The door burst open. There was a loud commotion and stumbling steps. I darted my attention to the source. Sam was helping Dean stumble into the bunker. 

“Winter! Get the first aid kit now!” Sam shouted. I ran to the kitchen and yanked out the large duffle bag from the shelf. I sprinted back to Sam. He had laid Dean on the couch. Sam snatched the duffle bag and began to dig through it for what he needed. I just stared at Dean’s shoulder. There was so much blood. Was he shot? Cut? Bit? What happened? 

“Hey, Snowflake. I’m fine. Sam’ll fix me up.” Dean made that shit-eating grin at me. I didn’t really process it. I watched the blood drip onto the floor. Sam turned back to Dean and began to work on him. When he did that, he smeared the blood on the floor. For some reason, my brain flashed my back into the White Room, the blood smear was on the wall instead. There was pain in my hand. I glanced down. I was strapped to a table, and the man in the black surgical mask was pulling off my fingernails. 

“Oh, my perfect little specimen, these claws with complete your wolfy charm.” His eyes glinted with joy. I began to scream. I screamed so loud my throat hurt. It was Cas shaking me that snapped me back into reality. I looked into his blue eyes. 

“Winter, calm down!” He yelled. 

“Cas, get her out of here. Take her to her room. She can’t handle this right now!” Dean shouted at us. Sam was still working on him, though there was less blood. Cas ushered me out. He showed me to my room. 

“You okay?” He asked with his serious voice. I nodded, while staring nowhere. 

“Dean will be okay. He wounds aren’t that grave, once Sam cleans it up, I can just heal the scar over.” I just nodded again. 

Cas sighed, “I promise he is okay. And so are you. No one is going to harm you while you are with us.” I turned to face Cas. Tears streaming own my face. I let out a little sob and threw my arms around him. Cas stood for a moment, confused, then he hugged me back. I know I am safe now. I know I will never go back to the White Room. I know the man in the back mask can’t pull me apart piece by piece. I was home.

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Stetson Labs- Chapter 1 A Girl With No Name And A Tail

A/N: If you have read the previous “Chapter 1″ Releases, begin reading BELOW the line. If you are wondering what keeps happening to me and why I have been ducking in and out of writing, visit my page and read my post. Feel free to comment and give feed back.

WARNINGS: Mild Language

Disclaimer: I do NOT own any supernatural characters, I only have the OC “Winter”.

It still haunts me. The smell, the touch. I'll never be able to forget it. It's sad really, that I cannot move past it all. How can I? Every time I look in the mirror, I see a monster created at the hands of a devil. These...'improvements' as he called them, are always here to remind me that I should be dead. I guess I'll start at the beginning. I ran. Harder than I’ve ever ran before. My sensitive ears were on fire with the amount of noise that was happening around me. Screaming, gunshots, the sound of blood and bodies hitting the ground. I covered my delicate ears. This was too much. Someone, or something, was massacring the people here.

Strangely enough, that was okay with me. The people here were horrible, soulless monsters that mutilated and mutated me. I only worried for my own life, to hell with theirs. My bare feet became sore from slapping the concrete, I knew I couldn’t run much further. I kept checking door after door, praying to whatever god there is that there is one that is unlocked. And one of them finally answered. The final door on my left was unlocked, it was a simple storage room, but to me it was a small sanctuary. I closed the door quietly and let my back hit the wall. Sliding down, I curled myself into a ball, holding my knees and curling my tail around my feet. Not once did I take my eyes of the little slit of light from the bottom of my door. A distant thumping was growing louder, it sounded like a pair of booted feet. I squeezed my legs closer and waited listening. With my heightened hearing, I would be able to pick the best moment to spring from my small room and start to run again. The thumping was louder, it must be only a few doors down now.

“Damnit! Lost it.” A gruff voice said. There was a faint beeping, a cell phone? “Sammy, come down the hall, I lost one of them and need your help, too many doors to check alone” He paused for a bit then seemed to hang up. He started with the door on the right, across from mine. I uncurled myself and readied for running. I watched as a shadow interrupted the line of light under the door, and flicked my ears to listen to the door knob turn. Once I heard the faint click of the latch releasing from the doorframe, I ran full force into the door, knocking it open and into the person attempting to open it. I got a glance at the man I was running from. He was tall, bigger than the men in masks were and had short hair. That’s all I could make out before I took off down the hall, heading back in the direction from which I came. I looked over my shoulder to see if the man was following, he was, but at a great distance. I grinned, I can outrun him easily.   But looking back was a mistake. I ran into what felt like a brick wall and fell flat on my ass. I landed on my tail wrong and let out a shout. When I looked up, I saw an even taller man in front of me. He had longer, brown hair.

“Oh thank God, took you long enough!” the shorter man said, out of breath and finally caught up. Damn. I was cornered.

“Hey, you’re alright, we won’t hurt you.” The taller man said, stooping down to my eye level. I laid my ears back and showed my teeth, a common action I made when threatened. I let out a low growl, like my instincts had taught me. The taller man stepped back and put his hands up as a gesture of surrender. I never broke eye contact with the taller man standing in my way. I was waiting. “Take it easy, we aren’t going to do anything to you.” The smaller one said now that he finally caught his breath.

“Dean, what should we do? We knew they were doing experiments, but we didn’t know they were doing them on kids.” He broke eye contact with me to look at the other man called Dean. That’s the moment I broke into a sprint once again. “DAMNIT!” one of them shouted. They gave chase. “Cas! We could use your help here!” Dean shouted. There was a faint flapping sound, and my wrist was taken hold of. I was whipped around and was facing my restraint, a man in a tan coat with brown hair, and a tie. He looked confused, but continued to hold onto me. I fought with tooth and nail, but the man didn’t react. I laid my ears back again and growled, but the grip on my wrist didn’t change. “Thanks Cas, I don’t think I could handle more running.” Dean said catching up.

“Sure, but what exactly is this? It looks like a partially transformed werewolf, but I sense that it is indeed human.” Cas said, looking at me with curious eyes.

“We think she is one of the experiments here.” The tall man said.

“Yeah, Sam did his research, the people here used this place as a lab to mess with the genetic make-up of things, we just didn’t know that they had moved onto human trails already.”  

While they were so leisurely chatting, I was attacking the man holding me. I bit, clawed, and hit everything I could reach, but he was unfazed. Tears began to sting my eyes, I was scared. I didn’t want to go back to the room, I didn’t want these men to take me to wherever they were going to. I wanted to go back to the storage room and sit in the dark. I wanted to get away. The tears began streaming from my eyes and I couldn’t help but sob as I became tired and weakly punched the man’s hand. Sam finally took notice, “What should we do with here, she obviously won’t come quietly.”

“I can make her unconscious for now.” Cas said looking at me. I was throwing too much of a fit to notice.

“That seems to be the best option.” Dean agreed. Cas’ hand enveloped my forehead, and things faded to black.

_______________________________________________________________________

Everything was hazy. My head felt heavy, and my eyelids even heavier. I tried to take a deep breath but it felt like cinder blocks were on my chest. I heard muffled speaking, the voices were vaguely familiar. Attempting to move proved pointless. It was like my brain wasn’t properly connected to my nerves, nothing was responding.

Finally the talking stopped and a hand grasped my head. All of the haze and weight was gone and I gasped for air as my eyes shot open. I was on a couch. I tried to sit up, But the man has yet to let go of my head. “Cas, she’s fine. Let her up” Sam said. The man called Cas hesitated, but let me go. I sat up and curled into a ball, eyeing the three tall men around me. One, who I think was called Dean, had his arms crossed, looking at me like I killed his dog. The taller man, Sam, was next to him, leaning on the table and smiling slightly at me. I didn’t like that much. Finally the man who let me go was Cas. He was standing beside the couch, scowling.

“What’s your name?” Sam asked, still smiling. I looked down and didn’t answer. Even if I remembered my name, I wouldn’t tell any of them. “Hey, we saved your ass back there, so if I were you, I’d answer the damn question.” Dean took a step closer, arms still crossed. The hostility in his voice made me growl and tighten my tail round my feet. Cas visibly braced, read to take me down if needed. “Dean, Cas. Calm down. This isn’t the way to approach her. We don’t know what she has been through.”

“Yeah, and we don’t know whose side she’s on either Sammy. For all we know, she is part of the plan.” Dean turned to argue.

“I believe Sam is right. I sense nothing-” before Cas could finish the sentence, I sprang off of my cushy cell and tried to run for a door, any door. Cas was faster, he grabbed the back of my shirt and tossed my down to the floor, causing my dog tags to fall around my neck and out of my shirt. “No, Sit. Stay.”

“Wait what’s that?” Dean pointed to my tags. “Maybe it has her name on it? Or some kind of ID at least” Sam took a slow step to me and crouched down to my level on the ground. “Can I see them? I won’t hurt you. We just want to help.” I laid my ears back but complied. I didn’t truly feel like I was in any danger. Sam took my tag and flipped it over so he could read it.

“W-1-N-7-3-R” he read to the others. “That’s it? Well that wasn’t much help.” Dean said, throwing his hands up.

“What if we call her Winter?” Cas piped in.

“What? The hell did that come from?” Dean questioned.

“Her tag number. Looks like the word Winter.”

“Wait it does!” Sam said with excitement.

“Fine, whatever. Winter it is then. Now, Winter, can you even talk?”

I continued my wall of silence. It’s not that I couldn’t speak, I just saw no point in it. I didn’t trust them yet, so why release any information? What if I get away but they somehow find me again because of something I accidentally gave them? Who knows what abilities the man in the trench coat had? It was my safety blanket. I turned away from Dean and Sam and fixed my hazel eyes onto the ceiling. What could they do? I’ve been through it all.

“Okay, maybe she can’t? But she seems to understand us well, maybe thats enough.” Sam tried to suggest.

“This is stupid.” Dean huffed and walked away, “You wanted to take her home Sammy, she is your puppy now.” Dean walked into another room. Sam glared in his direction and smiled back at me.

“I really wont hurt you. Are you hungry? How about some food or water?” I didn’t admit to anything but when he mentioned food my stomach ratted me out by letting a long growl escape. I blushed and bit my lip. Sam smirked and walked away to the same room that Dean walked into. I remained on the ground but I sat up. Cas nodded awkwardly at me when I made eye contact with him. “I’m just gonna.... Go check on them.” He disappeared before my eyes. I blinked but it didn’t seem to be an illusion, he really was gone. Glancing at my surroundings, I noticed books lined the walls. I perked up a bit. I loved books. Maybe these people would let me read some if I acted nicely. Thats how it was back in the White Room, I was a ‘good little beast’ and they gave me a book to read. Mostly books that were complex and full of words I didn’t understand but I relished the opportunity to actually learn something.

“Oh, do you like to read, Winter?” I was so focused on the shelves that I didn’t notice Sam coming back into the room. He was carrying a plate with a sandwich and a glass of water. “Well you are welcome to read anytime. Here, I made something for you.” He smiled and set the food down on a long wooden table in the center of the room. I didn’t move. I was hungry, but I still was unsure of everything. Sam must have noticed me being hesitant and he turned away and selected a book from the shelf. He sat at a nearby chair and began to read. I crawled on hands and feet over to the plate. Sniffing the table and chair before sitting down, I pulled the chair out slowly. I didn’t sit, I crouched on the chair. The smell of the fresh food wafted up to my nose and I began to drool. Without any further thought, I wolfed down the food and chugged the water. When the plate was crumb free an my glass dry, I stepped off the chair and began to wonder around. The library seemed to go on forever. I glanced up and say that the shelves nearly hit the ceiling. I grinned, so much to learn. I heard a chuckle and turned my ear to the source of the sound. It was Sam. He was pretending to read and was simply keeping an eye on me. I let my ear relax, I was used to being watched, so it made no difference to me. As I was about to reach for a book, Dean and Cas reentered the room. “Should we really let her read those things? For all we know, she could just be working for them and be trying to get our secrets.” Dean stated bluntly.

“I really don’t think Winter is bad. I don’t sense any ill-will from her.” Cas chimed in.

“Dean, come on. She is a kid. She has a tail and ears that were obviously surgically put onto her body and are now functional. You think she did that willingly? From the documents we found, they kidnapped potential subjects. She is probably just some lost kid who was in the wrong place at the wrong time.” Sam’s eyes were soft and reassuring to me. Dean shrugged, “Time will tell I guess” He sauntered off down the hall, “I’m heading to bed.”

“I’m going to go see if I can go get the files from that facility, maybe it will tell us more.” Cas said, and before anyone could breathe another word, he vanished again.

“Well, I guess it’s time for you to go to sleep too huh? It’s been a crazy night for all of us.” Sam got up and walked down the hall, then he stopped and turned, “you coming? I’ll show you your room.” I let my ears perk up. I haven’t slept in a bed for a decade now.

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I really am back this time

I know. I’ve been absent. Not that it really matters, I don’t think I’ve got any followers anyways so it doesn’t do much. But, I’m getting depressed recently and I need to find something to give me a reason to wake up in the morning. I’m going to try my hand at writing again. I’ve finished moving to Wyoming, I got my hair chopped off because I ruined it by not being able to get out of bed, so I feel fresh. I need a motivation, a point. The depression is swallowing me, so I shall write. I’ll get the stories out of my head, and hopefully I’ll entertain some people while I’m at it. So, bare with me as I take this rollercoaster of a life and try to put it back together. 

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Today, I Discovered What My Roommate Really Thinks of Me

Today, she sent me a text. But she sent it to the wrong person. It was a picture of my empty pan that I had used to bake pastries in this morning. The caption on the picture said this, “She ate and entire tube of cinnamon tolls this morning in one sitting.” She meant to send it to her boyfriend I’m sure. She did it so they can make fun of me behind my back. Now, I’m too scared to eat. How long has she been doing this? How many empty plates had she sent to her boyfriend?How many times have they laughed about my weight? Little did she know that I didn’t eat the pastries, I baked them and accidentally dropped a lot of them on the ground, so I had to trash them. Little did she know how much I hate myself. Little does she know that I beat myself repeatedly when I look at my fat ass in the mirror. Little does she know that I felt safe around her, but not anymore. So she wins. Society wins. I’m done. I’ll loose the damn weight, for the sole purpose that I could eat what I want and not be persecuted for it like she can, or be able to look in the mirror and actually like what looks back. I’m Done. Let this be a lesson to everyone, don’t take someones trust, and bash it into the rocks. Because now, I have no one to trust.